Of Wolves and Ravens – Courage: Becoming the Bear

Happy Tyr’s Day:

Discussion:

My first run though in Of Wolves and Ravens with the schedule I will probably focus on the Nine Noble Virtues, the second time I will focus on the flip side. In the case of courage, the other side is Western Philosophy.  Last week it was pretty easy to mesh the ideas of Honor and Eastern Philosophy. This week was becoming a challenge until I realized that part of Western philosophy is the Viking Philosophy of Courage. Much of this is related to their understanding of bears.

The vikings revered bears on a very spiritual level.  The admired them to be sure for their raw power and courage, but it was the fact that one could encounter a bear in the wild and that bear would not act in fear in the presence of man.  I am fairly certain while bears might note man’s presence, they give him little regard as far as being a threat. It was this philosophy indeed that led some to become Berserkers. Men who would work themselves up into a fearless frenzy invoking the spirit of the bear.

Courage as a Virtue for me has been a challenge.  In large part I think my Christianity is to blame. Modern Western Christianity both lessens the potential of women by keeping them in a subservient role to men and emasculates men by forcing men to deny their more basic masculine instincts.  Both of these issues cause both men and women to act with less courage than they should.

For myself I have had to reevaluate what it means to be a man and part of that has involved facing the fact that as a Christian, I was not as courageous as I should have been. If there is a spiritual reason for my rejection of Christianity outside my four theological objections, it is this attempted emasculation of men by Christianity as it stands today. For me this embracing courage and facing life more as a man of courage is central now to my philosophy.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

See the source image

This quote from the Havamal shows the need for courage on a deeply spiritual level.  The times one should have acted in courage but didn’t will haunt you and leave you without peace of mind. Regret is the final outcome of cowardice and it makes a man less of a man and a woman less of a woman. Mankind needs courage.

Wants (Freki):

I want courage as well as it allows me to achieve more than I could without it.  Taking action is the way to greater things and that requires courage.  I have come to realize that procrastination may very well be at times an act of cowardice, because I don’t want to take a risk on certain things. Other times it might be I am still thinking on it to long or I lack industriousness that I need as well, but there are a few acts of procrastination that should and would not happen if I simply had the courage to act.

Reason (Huginn):

Being reasonable about courage is hard.  But you cannot deny as a rational person that courage is something that is at times rational, because without it many things that are beneficial cannot be achieved.  There is of course a difference between being courageous and being foolhardy. The difference is found in whether the act has a rational outcome believe it or not.  Does the act of courage lead to self-exaltation and to no positive outcome, or does it lead to the protection of all that one holds sacred and achievement of goals that are beneficial.

See the source image

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom is hard with this one other than to say that courage is not always found in the big actions that we often say are acts of courage but in the small actions of living life and going forward each day.  The Viking philosophy of how one dies is important, but I can only face my actual death once.  I face life every single day and there are multiple acts of courage and confidence I need to do so.  Courage is far more regularly needed in living life than the one-act of death I will face.

Conclusion:

I would say the Viking philosophy of courage is true.  It is needed, wanted and it is both rational and wise to be a courageous person. The Spirit of the Bear needs to be invoked regularly. Something I need to embrace far more for my own benefit and the benefit of those I love and that which I hold dear. The journey of the Grey Wayfarer is hopefully going to be a long one and will require many more acts of courage to be a good one. May I take each action with courage.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Unlocking My Meditation

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

This week I am looking a tweaking certain things about my routines so I am going to look at each journal post and see what needs to be tweaked.  Under Foundation Virtues is some discussion my Morning Routine and Bucket List and oddly enough they are going to go together.  The way they are going together is through meditation.

One of my only concerns with the Morning Routine has been meditation.  I originally thought what I need to do is formalize things a bit.  Make them more structured.  I think that will happen, but I now feel I shouldn’t look at it that way.   I would rather look at it as making changes to unlock the potential of mediation for myself.

What I picture is meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues, picking one principle from one of them to meditate on, then meditating on one of my goals, and one bucket list item. This would involve a nine-day rotation.  It would then end with emptying my mind and doing a basic relaxation technique. I have nine virtues, nine goals and nine principles.  The only problem is I have ten bucket list items so it would involve removing one of them.

I have been debating the use of aids on this.  Most notably a candle and a symbol focus. The symbol focus I have used and it would probably be the Valknut. I am thinking a medallion that after meditation I can wear around my neck as a constant reminder.  The candle is also a focus I have used in the past and it a powerful one where I have gotten so lost in meditation that I lose track of time.  I am going to try a candle with a timer from my smart phone to offset this potential ‘problem’. Position has always been an issue and  I am going to go lotus for a while.  It usually hurts my knees but mostly I think that is because I am not used to it.

So far there are several things I do that are going to stay.  1) Nine Noble Virtues – Meditation on a virtue or virtues really works.  It definitely is a much higher thing to meditate, on than what I want to do that day. I may however add meditation on the higher virtues as well. 2)  Nudity – I have to say there is something very beneficial about literally throwing off all encumbrance, including clothing, to meditate.  No clothes and the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band. There is something very liberating, free and open about this state when meditating.

The main goal now is to unlock the potential of this part of my morning routine so that I gain insight, enlightenment, a positive mental state and motivation from it.  The ultimate goal is to have a highly effective ten minutes of meditation that accomplishes all of this regularly.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Meditation has also been very instrumental in getting me back into a more positive attitude and mental state about my future and giving me that much-needed self-examination that leads to a sense of self-worth. A sense of honor is something I have gained while meditating.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Sometimes the right thing to do and when to do it is not clear.  I have found mediation to be the key at times in discovering both.  Then all that remains is to actually act and meditation can steel my heart to do that.  Meditation helps with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I cannot underestimate the number of times clarity, enlightenment, insight and other things like this have been part of my mediation results. Truth has been unlocked at certain times, and for that I am very grateful.

Higher Virtue: Love:

A feeling of well-being and a feeling of being loved and loving are sometimes very present in my meditation times. I guess in many ways it is how I have learned to love my wife more and more each day.  It has at least been a tool for unlocking my understanding of my love for her and I would say some of the same mental state of openness and freedom has slipped over into the times we make love as well.  Love of life and the world around me is a very present feeling when I meditate as well and I want to unlock that further.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditation
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I have made the line for meditation just that.  The process inside of this simple word will be written down in my paper journal until it becomes more automatic. Much of what happens in routines is that I have to follow what I want by looking at a list at first.  This can be clumsy and awkward at first but the more I do it, the more natural it becomes. Meditation changes will be like that too but I think it will be worth it.

As a side note my meditation time spills over into my full body stretch and I am thinking of doing some more yoga type stretches with this.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Removed starting my own business. As I look to the future this bucket list item will be a goal under something involving my career eventually.  It will make its way to my goal list eventually so it isn’t really gone, just shifted in timing and placement.

Weightlifting:

This is one activity that meditation is a big part of when I do it.  Every set is preceded by a mental focusing and as the set is being done, mental focus is very important. It is this meditational aspect that I miss just as much as the challenge of the iron.  I will hopefully get back to this soon. I have the money now to get a gym membership going at least.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Adding Wisdom

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Knowledge might tell you it is raining, wisdom tells you to take out an umbrella or find cover, etc. Wisdom is hard to completely define as well but its actions are clear.  When one finds themselves at a fork in the road of life, wisdom tells you what branch to take that is going to be the best.

Adding Wisdom is to the self Virtues is a natural fit, as wisdom ultimately affects us personally the most.  Discipline is about being wise of looking ahead so greater and greater purposes can be achieved.  Wisdom says to keep going despite failure and defeat because to stop is to die and no longer be truly alive. Fidelity is the wisdom of keeping your relationships strong, and being loyal to those who are loyal to you makes you stronger.

For me, this image of standing a crossroads happens often in life; it is what it means to be The Grey Wayfarer for me.  Wisdom is the process of assessing which path is best.  Wisdom guides the decision and thus becomes a very important higher virtue.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The real trick right now is to make sure routines are finished each day and that the weeks work has been done.  I find that while I do need to take breaks from time to time, the best way to handle all of it is to of it as early as possible in each day.

I am debating with and evening routine that would basically be me doing an evening quick hygiene thing and laying out my stuff for the next day, so things go faster in the morning.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I keep going, I don’t know if this pause in between things constitutes failure or defeat so much as waiting for what is next.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I meditate often on how fidelity is much easier the smaller your circle is. At the same time, more friends is more opportunity.  Something I need to think more about.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Right now, wisdom is a big thought on my mind because I am changing the direction of my life and I want my new path to be a wise one. Adding the virtue means I have to think about what decisions I have upcoming and what the wisest course of action might be.

Right now I have another semester to do.  My degree is finished except for the internship but I had to take a few classes to maintain full-time status to pay for it. Eventually, I will get some of the grant money from the research project  for the internship to offset that but right now taking a few classes that will both pad my resume and keep the student loan people away for a bit. I continue to search for a new job and hopefully something that fits me and my life better will show itself soon.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 3

Everything on here is doable.  The issue mostly is weightlifting and walking because I don’t have a place to do them. I need a new gym for that.  The rest I can do right now and have been.

Nutrition:

My cheat meal count has dropped to three for this week and next. Eventually when I drop to two a week and two carb sources a day, that is where I want my lifestyle to be after this special diet for my birthday is done. In short, I am getting where I want my regular lifestyle habit to be very soon.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – By adding Love this week, I feel there is an overall vision to my virtues in the foundational aspects of my life.  If there is a question now about Courage, Honor and Truth I can ask the question – which action is the most loving?

Business – The same could be said with Justice and the three virtues Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  “What is the most just action?” becomes the question here.

Self –  ‘What is the wisest action’ is the question for my self virtues.  This will guide my questions of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity. Adding wisdom was a good call

In short when considering any decision I have three questions to ask about it.  What is the most loving action? What is the most just action? What is the wisest action?  Knowing which virtue is being used will be helpful with this to know which question applies the most. I like the change and the Higher Virtues are now fully incorporated.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Honor: The Most Difficult Virtue

Happy Tyr’s Day 

When considering the lineup for Of Wolves and Ravens a couple of weeks ago, it was no accident that I coupled Honor with Easter Philosophy.  The Code of Bushido is a warrior code like the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV) and there are many similarities.  The Samurai had seven or eight (depending on who you read) noble virtues where the vikings had nine but most of them overlap. There great similarities between the two codes.  I could have chosen it for my own personal code, but I chose a warrior code more fitting to my interests and heritage.  I do have a great respect for the Code of Bushido. It is the notion of honor in both codes that however is my interest today, so a consideration of both codes’ definition of honor might be enlightening.

Nine Noble Virtues Definition of Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world

Code of Bushido Definition of Honor:  

A vivid consciousness of personal dignity and worth

I think the two are very similar.  Both involve that feeling or sense (vivid consciousness)  of personal dignity and value one has for yourself. If there is any addition, it is the NNV adds the notion of acknowledging said honor when it is perceived in others. Showing respect for those that you can see have their own sense of honor is part of the NNV.  The Code of Bushido has Respect as a separate virtue, so it splits the idea in the NNV notion of Honor into two separate virtues honor and respect.

The point I am making here is that despite the two codes being separated in their origin by a considerable geographical distance, there is a similar human quality of honor that is recognized in both. Inner value and dignity are human traits that both codes encourage and admire.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

Do we need honor?  I think that the notion of personal dignity says yes we do.  A person who has a sense of dignity certainly is far more useful to themselves and to others. Without this sense of dignity, I think we see people fade into nothing both personally and from a societal standpoint both spiritually and emotionally.  I watch people who I can tell have no sense of personal dignity.  They give no thought to how they are presenting themselves to others, because they really don’t value themselves and it shows. There is a certain kind of pride that is needed to be a decent human being, and it is the spiritual need for honor.

Wants (Freki):

We also want honor in our lives.  It is the foundation for being respected.  If one does not respect themselves; no one else will.  Honor is a very individual quality that should be greatly desired.  I can’t stress this enough given that last year, I did some very dishonorable things.  The biggest loss I felt was this sense of honor.  Without it, I became very vulnerable.  I want honor to combat this vulnerability.  Other people’s’ opinions of you matter far less when you have a sense of honor. It is good to desire it and obtain it.

Reason (Huginn):

The problem of course in how to get it.  Well, you don’t get it from others.  Reason tells me that if I rely on others for my sense of honor, I will become their slave. If I want to be free, the only one that can develop a sense of honor in my life is me.  I must choose to be my own master and develop my own sense of dignity and value.  You will never find dignity and value in pleasing others.  Slavery is all you will get from that, and no slave has any sense of self value or dignity. If ‘a slave’ did have those qualities, then they are not truly slaves no matter what their social status is.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom also warns me that the only one who can destroy my sense of honor is also myself. This is what make honor the most difficult virtue. It is hard to gain but even harder to maintain.  As needed a virtue as it is, no matter how much we want it and how much it benefits us; we can destroy it with our own actions. This is a lesson I learned this last summer (2018) and one I plan on making sure is burned deep into my soul from now until my death.

Conclusion:

Honor will probably be something I wrestle with for the rest of my life.  I take the lessons from the Code of Bushido and use them to improve my understanding of the code of follow in the NNV. In this I know need and want honor.  It is a spiritual need that strengthens me when fulfilled.  I also know that I alone can build it and I alone can destroy it in myself.  Lessons learned that need to be applied from now until the end for me.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Adding Love

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Love is an interesting virtue.  I said in the pagan pulpit yesterday that it is a motivating force for many people but it is not the best one. I am not; however, dismissing its value as an overarching consideration in decisions.  It is OK to be motivated by love as long as it is done freely.  Adding the virtue to the foundational virtues is a natural fit.

Honor, Courage and Truth can be seen as virtues that express different aspects of Love. Honor is love of self.  Courage is acting bravely in love of something one considers valuable or sacred.  Truth – well even the Bible says love rejoices in truth to which I would agree.

The problem is defining love.  There are many ways to look at love and languages reflect this difficulty, as almost all languages and cultures have multiple definitions of love and how those words and definitions can be used. Below is a thought I read that I think reflects the problem.

Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

Rather than having a definition that will restrict my understanding of love, I will leave it open and perhaps the many facets of love can be explored. mostly I want the theme of love to be used to evaluate the other three virtues listed here.  Honor, Courage and Truth.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I do have a very positive outlook right now about the future.  Right now my wife describes our life as ‘dull’, but I am glad for the simple normality of it.  I do however have a desire for something better in the sense of prosperity and comfort for the both of us, but mostly I am looking at myself and our relationship more positively.  I look to the future a lot more than the past. I see things better and better each day and that is the product of a developing sense of honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

It is time t put myself back out there with a new direction in mind.  I am back to boarding the viking ship and setting a course.  A new course for my life and who I am.  I embrace this with courage and I am actually a lot happier right now than I have been in a while. It is time to act on that feeling and do so with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I find that I either speak the truth, which is actually quite rare or I say nothing. Perhaps one could say I speak a lot through blogging. This however is well thought out speech and carefully crafted.  Writing is like that.  Mostly though truth is about pursuing what is true and wise. It is not so much that I arrive at truth or wisdom or knowledge but that I am on a journey to discover it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In my Christian Days I cold easily just turn to 1 Corinthians 13 and had a definition of love that was given to me.  My problem with this definition even though I think it does define some aspects of love perfectly, is that it leaves out the physical side of love which in my mind is still important.  There is a reason why we call sex – lovemaking.

Trying to come up with a definition that is more encompassing of all aspects of love is very difficult.  I am not really going to try.

I simply will say at this point that every time I have a sense of honor about myself, that every time I act in courage and that every time I pursue truth that these are acts of love. This little section will chronicle each week what I discover though these actions.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Solid part of the day every morning.  Meditation is a little off right now because I want to make it more formal but I am still think as to how to do that. It may involve rearranging my office area a little.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I need a systematic plan here.  I am thinking that number 2 and number 6 are the most likely this year. To do these require money for the tattoos to be saved and the novel require regular writing. I could also add as a backup  number 7 Latin as I have the books to do that already. Need to start acting on these.

Mostly though I want to create a collage to put on my wall with representations of all of them.  Something more visual to remind me of them. That may be the first step.

Weightlifting:

I am going to join a gym this week or early next.  I can’t take not lifting anymore so I am just going to do it and make the adjustments as needed.  I have lost well over a month of gains and I need to fix that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Freedom and Moral Responsibility

Happy Sun’s Day.  Back to the Pagan Pulpit as normal. 

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Freedom – Alice Cooper:

I suppose it was only a matter of time before Alice Cooper made his way to my  pagan pulpit songs.  I love this video more than the song as it was the spectacle that was a show by Alice. His musicians were buff too.    Mostly its the line – free to rock and free to talk.

Poem: “The New Colossus” – Emma Lazarus

Image result for the new colossus

I have always loved this poem.  It seems these days to many Americans forget that most of us started as refuges and refuge from other lands. Liberty is why people came here and it should still be true that all who seek liberty should be granted it.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty:

Miss Tom Petty but his song live on and this one has been a favorite of my when I am free-falling in my thoughts.

Text: I am Free – Robert A. Heinlein

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Sermon:

It was only a mater of time before I got to a quote from Robert Heinlein.  The science fiction writer from the Golden Age of Science fiction was also a libertarian, nudist and political philosopher but he is most known for his science fiction which did have a profound impact on society particularly A Stranger in a Strange Land which influenced 1960s thinking and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress which cannot be underestimated in its influence on  the United States landing on the moon in 1969.

Mostly as I read him, I find an unshakable understanding of the value of human freedom and liberty. Part of this is his rugged belief in the individual needing to be self-sufficient and in that I am completely in agreement with him.  I have been a kindred soul of Mr. Heinlein since I first discovered him back in Bible College.

I meditate on this quote often.  When I was Christian I used to have the belief that people either did what it right out of love for someone else or out of fear of punishment.  For most people I think this is still true, but I think the real problem with both of these is that they are lower forms of moral motivation.  Both of them lack an understanding of freedom and liberty as a motivating factor.  Love of freedom is a higher motivator I think and causes one to be moral even when no one is watching.  Or even when everyone is watching.  Love for others implies I only act morally when I perceive others might be affected negatively.  Fear implies that I only act morally because I want to avoid punishment. Both are outside forces making me be moral; they are not me acting on my own internal morality or taking responsibility for myself in my decisions.

There is a great deal of difference when someone act morally regardless of consequence.  The essence of Heinlein’s quote is that the rules don’t matter.  Love or Fear doesn’t matter.  What matters is regardless I am free to act and in the end it is not love or fear that makes my actions moral but that I choose in freedom what to do. The moral responsibility is mine, regardless of love or fears I might have.

I take responsibility for my actions because they are mine and no one else’s. By the same principle, I don’t take moral responsibility for the choices another makes.  Those choices belong to them; not me.  It is why in relationships, the moral choice question disappears when people are coerced or forced to do something through law or fear. If they are manipulated to a choice, then that is also not a choice in freedom.  It’s why as Libertarian I feel the real immoral forces of this world are the misuse force, threat of force and fraud.  Nothing can be moral when it is influenced by these actions.

If it requires fear or love to be moral, then I am basically saying I have no internal morality.  But once I understand the line: “I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”  Then I know I am acting freely moral because I have chosen it; not because I was forced or manipulated to it.

I dwell on this quote a lot, mostly because I have been accused of manipulation.  I don’t think people know how repugnant that idea is to me. Too many people live in the love and fear dynamic, and  so they assume I do as well.  I don’t.  I take responsibility for my part in things; but if there is another person involved, they are responsible in equal measure to me.  That’s why my marriage being rocky in the past was both of us.  My affair this summer was both of us. I gladly take my responsibility for my part in both of those things as that is the morally right thing to do, but I hold the other side of both of those relationships responsible for their part in it as well. I don’t let them off the hook for what they did. Some people don’t like that.  Tough rocks.

As I move forward, I want this understanding to guide my decisions.  It lines very much with my concept of honor.  It is not fear of law or god that motivates me.  It is not love for others that motivates me.  It is my own sense of personal honor that I alone am morally responsible for my actions that matters.  Nothing more; Nothing less.

Closing Song: Let it Be – The Beatles:

The Beatles sooner or later would have made the Pulpit, but this week this song seems appropriate to me.  Let it be.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Yes, it is.  Something I am trying to come to grips with lately.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Post Holiday Re-Focus

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

With the holidays over, time to get back to the normal pursuit of self-improvement. As I look back I find Yuletide a really enjoyable holiday time both from a personal and family perspective.   I am also glad it is over because much of what I am trying to pursue requires routine and consistency and it is very difficult to be consistent during the holidays.

Right now from a Business point of view i need to polish up my resume and start sending it out to prospective employers.  Graduation should have opened up some opportunities for me.  I have my internship to do and maybe three other online classes so I can maintain full-time status but for the most part its time to put my education to work finding a better job. One that I both can enjoy and is more beneficial to me.

My motivation right now is to improve my life situation not just for me but for my wife as well  the ministry left us both broke and without much in the way of insurance or a financial future. Time to change that. Time to get back to the plan and re-focus on my goals and routines.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Things can be shaky at times for us.  We kind of skate a very delicate financial situation. But that said, we feed. cloth and house ourselves.  Our vehicles still run.  We both have jobs.  This is basic self-reliance but I seek for ti to be a more sure thing and more stable.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

The time has come for a job search again. School is going to start again with internship and some classes that should be good resume padding. I enjoy this time right now and it is exciting but terrifying  in other ways. I just want to find a place in this world where i can enjoy my life and work again.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Getting there.  I am ready to help in what ways I can.  I just don’t bankrupt myself to do it anymore. That’s why I want more prosperity for myself, so I actually have more to give.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Empty In Box
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently four a day.

I moved writing form a daily routine item to a weekly routine item.  Mostly this allows me to tailor four days a week where I can set aside some time to write outside the blog. Probably days off from work and other days where I know I will have time.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

Time to work on some of these mostly #2 and especially #3.  Number #6 is also on my mind but things are financially tight to joining a gym right now might be a luxury I can’t afford. Finding a better paying job will have greater implications than just more money but more opportunity.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

I think the real reason we are following this is because both of us can agree to it. It will work we just need to up the income side of things.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Pursuing Virtue

Happy Tyr’s Day.  Hope you had a great Yuletide. First post of the year 2019.

I remember the day I walked out of my church for the last time.  I was on my way to deliver my resignation but I had stopped at the church to make sure I had everything from there.  I picked up a few things and then stood in the pulpit behind the lectern one more time. It was one of those moments I probably will never forget.  Just me behind on a pulpit I had mounted countless times to talk about sin and salvation.  I guess you could say that the moment I walked away from that pulpit was the moment I walked away from Christianity. It was symbolic for me at least of a change in philosophy and belief.

My main thought as I locked the door behind me for the last time was “So, what are you going to live for now?” The question indicates a desire for purpose; that is for life mission.  I had been interested in viking myth, history and culture for a long time and ran accidentally into the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV).  As I read more about it, I realized the set of virtues was just what I needed for foundational framework for a new philosophy for living.

More recently I discovered three other virtues as I went through the nights of Yuletide: Love. Justice and Wisdom. The odd thing is that I had seen these in passing but I never really saw them dwelt on until the 12 nights of Yuletide as I read about that.  Of course I can see the value of these virtues and at the same time I can see that they are pretty universal and perhaps ‘higher’.  The question of purpose then seems to be more clear.

I have divided the nine noble virtues into three groups classified as foundational, business and self. But I can also see that the virtues could be divided as love, justice and wisdom.  Love being the foundation virtue.  Justice being the nature of how we are trying conduct the business dealings of our life. Wisdom reflects the desire to handle Self so we growing in understanding and personal strength. I want to think on these three some more and incorporate them in my weekly thoughts.  Probably the weekly recap as they would give my final thoughts on the week some needed direction.

Basically I am seeing these three virtues as the skeleton on which the other nine are the muscles that make them work, if that analogy makes sense.  But on to the Wolves and Ravens concerning virtue.

Needs (Geri): 

Why do I need to pursue virtue?  It is best interest of each person to improve themselves. We need to do this because those who do not stagnate and eventually die.  We also in my opinion need a foundational philosophy that is the basis for all our decisions, so there is consistency.  One of the things I have to say now is that Christianity never gave that to me. I will talk more about why in a moment.

Mostly though Need, the wolf Geri, is about necessity and part of the necessity of being a human being is to have a life’s purpose or mission. Without it, how do you differentiate yourself from being an animal?  For me this has been a struggle of need.  As I switch off Christian philosophy which is inconsistent, how do I switch on something that is less hypocritical?

Part of our need I think is to develop this foundation philosophy ourselves.  However, most of us instead of taking the time and putting in the effort to do so, turn to religion to do it for us and then wonder why we struggle. The reason we struggle is because the ‘one size fits all’ that most religions give to others, does not work for everyone. It is this working on our own philosophy for ourselves I think now that meets this foundational need. Running to religion is us just avoiding this need and justifying ethical and moral laziness.

Wants (Freki):

What I want is a philosophy that causes me to pursue something better for myself and those I love. One that motivates me to make a better life for myself. That harnesses the wolf of want (Freki) and uses it to make me act.  The problem with Christians philosophy is it focuses too much on this made up concept of sin.  You are constantly struggling between feeling guilty and trying to achieve virtue.  This is why it naturally leads to hypocrisy.  You are trying to achieve virtue in Christianity, but the doctrine of sin always allows an escape out. “Be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet” or “I can’t help it I sin every day” or “I am just bound to my sin, I can’t escape it.” and other expressions dot the Christian phraseology as excuses for failure to be consistent.  I don’t want that dichotomy anymore because I think by its very nature it leads to the justified hypocrisy you see in Christianity.

What I ultimately want is a philosophy that focuses on positive progress and gives an honest assessment of human desire, not as righteous or sinful, but whether such desires are normal, beneficial or detrimental and how such desires can be rationally and wisely handled. Pursuing virtue does just that,  I can mark progress but can also accept who I am as a human being without looking at my human nature as sinful or evil.

Reason (Huginn):

Basically when I engage reason, the raven Huginn, on this topic of virtue, my favorite Marcus Aurelius quote comes out.

See the source image

The main thing is the last line:  You will be gone but will have lived a  noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I would also say it allows you to be live the best life for yourself while alive. It brings the most benefit to you and that is important.

These days when I am doing something and someone says I shouldn’t, I ask them for a rational reason why what I am doing is not virtuous?  If they can’t answer then they need to back off or come up with a reason.  I don’t want to hear about your god or holy book.  I want to hear how what I am doing is not beneficial to myself or it is somehow genuinely harmful to others. If they can’t do that: then perhaps that person might simple realize they are using some made up moral code to justify being judgmental of others without working on improving themselves. There is nothing virtuous about holding others to a standard that is neither rational or you don’t keep yourself.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom says that I need to continue to pursue virtue then.  I get what I need and want for myself and those I love without harming others in the process.  I also then am rationally pursing self-improvement with being judgmental of others as virtue says I work on me first and help others, not judge them.  I accept where I am but also seek to improve myself to be better.  I don’t spend a lot of time wallowing in self-pity or guilt because neither of those things help me improve. I eliminate excuses for not being better instead of justifying them with excuses, like I am a sinner and cant help myself.  These reasons along with many more are why I pursue virtue alone and thus embrace the wisdom of them. Both the NNV and the Higher Virtues provide the basic framework for that pursuit.

Conclusion:

As the weeks of this new year continue, I will through this platform called Of Wolves and Ravens be looking at more individual virtues and various aspects of philosophy.  The aim is the same which is ethical and moral improvement for myself. If on this journey you walk with me a little ways and discover something that helps you as well, then bonus for both of us.

Until next time,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Being a Father

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. It is the 9th Night of Yuletide.  This day is sacred to fathers and the All-Father Odin.  This is the day we remember fathers and honor them.  The Virtue remembered today is indeed Honor.  I find it interesting that in Norse mythology for mothers the virtue is Industriousness but for fathers it is Honor. There is something very profound in that if you meditate on it.

Journal Entry:

I was sitting Wednesday at a restaurant with my son who lives in New York but who is home for the holidays. I couldn’t help be very proud of him as I watched him handle his daughter who is ten months old.  It was an introspective moment and one where I found myself both challenging and upholding my honor a little.

I have not always been the greatest example of fatherhood.  Recent events in this last year give little cause for my children to be proud of me.  But at the same time as I look at my children, I have little cause not to be proud of them and I have to say whatever my wife and I did in raising them, turned out really good in the end. They are all three of them good children. They are good human beings and I couldn’t be more proud of them all.

Fatherhood is an ever-changing role.  Now I content myself with being as good a grandfather as I can be, and a friend to my children that they know they can always count on if they need me.  One day, I will be the Patriarch of the family in truth (May my mother remain the Matriarch for years to come) but for me that is more about influence than authority.  I just hope to be fondly remembered at this point and so work to make memories in their lives to that end.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

There is one change I am considering and that is one of having an evening routine.  I have always found these the most challenging because when I get to the point where my bed is calling me it is usually overpowering of any other thing I would need to do. Such a routine would have a little hygiene as well as preparation for the day to come.  It would be a short routine because anything long would not get done.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Looking back at this year, this being the last entry for Self Virtues this year, I still stand amazed that I am still standing. I am a much different man than the one who started the year. I can’t really describe the transformation but the one thing I think I have demonstrated without fail is that I will never, ever quit. I will walk The Grey and get up after every time I am knocked down. I keep coming and I will not quit.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I suppose along with the lessons of perseverance, the lessons this year involving fidelity have been pretty extreme. With my wife I have learned that love may not be able to fix broken oaths, but it can start to forge something new that is stronger from the pieces. From this year I also have learned fidelity is not always given even when expected.  I have lost a lot of friends this year.  I also had someone I thought was a good friend betray me.  I loved someone who obviously didn’t share that in return.  I have had the whole gambit of stuff done in return to me.  I guess some might call it karma coming back on me for my own lack of fidelity.  In truth though I only betrayed one person and that person still is loyal to me despite it and she forgave me.  Yes, I have learned a lot this year about fidelity, perhaps too much and the wrong way.  But, the lessons are learned and I will go forward.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

Man, not lifting a walking has not had as much of a negative effect as I thought it would.  Physically, by keeping the nutrition solid, I still feel and look good.  I still have improvement that could be done, but I am not in danger of going backwards yet. That said, from a spiritual/emotional point of view, I definitely miss both.

Nutrition:

Nutrition took a step forward this week with my limits being tightened a little.  The effect was to make me instantly aware of how close I come right now to going over both on carb count for the day and cheat meals.  That said, it is the holidays so it is harder but I also give myself those holiday cheat days for free.  The real test will be after new year.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – Courage, Honor and Truth are becoming more than words to me at last.  There is some meaning to them as I hit the end of the year.

Business – Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality are becoming more than words to me too.  The philosophy of Asatru is beginning to sink in and I must say it really appeals to who I really am.

Self – Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity have all been a struggle this past year, but that is what each day of the future is for – to improve and grow virtue.  That is my ultimate quest.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Last Full Week

Happy Moon’s Day. It’s the 5th night of Yule.  This night is sacred to community. A Feast usually done this night with a potluck, mead, friendship bread and gingerbread people. Tonight is about remembering the virtue of Hospitality.  

Journal Entry:

It being the last full week of the year, I am thinking about the changes to my routines and goals and so forth. This has really been a very difficult year looking back on it with deep lows and high highs.  Nothing really in between was present.  I suppose this is going to be a reflective week and I need to watch that. The Grey is still around and being overly focused on the negative can bring that down with more power.

What I want to do this week is have shorter journal entries and put more writing in the bottom part of the stuff on each journal entry to talk about changes and what I am trying to do there.  This is the last full week of the year, so it needs to be done.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I don’t see any need to change the Principle concerning this Virtue.  As far as honor goes think more about my future and less about the past. In that sense I feel some sense of value to my wife and family.  I feel valued by the co-workers but at the same time the work I do is not something I can or want to do forever.  I need something a little more significant from my perspective.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

No need to change things here either.  Things are working well and I feel more brave and it is going to be needed more and more as this next year starts to unfold.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

No need for change here either.  I simply need to get better about being truthful with myself and others. Or just keep my mouth shut. Mostly I am just trying to dedicate myself to study more and reading.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I already made changes here and this routine is the most solid I have. I really need to make the meditation part a little more formal but the routine itself is solid and works.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

One of these things has to come off this list by June 30th.  I don’t want to change anything here and perhaps what I do need to do is put a collage picture on the wall with representations of all these things. That should be side by side with one with my goals.

Weightlifting:

The only change needed here is I need a new gym and need to get back into lifting. This will probably happen after the new year or near the end of this one.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!