Knowledge

Not a Great Week (Summer Planning)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

From a Discipline standpoint, this wasn’t a great week. I am about to shift my life for the next couple of months, but mostly it is a sickness that has kept me from having a lot of energy. Between the end of the school year and this illness, I have been tired and lacking in focus.

That said excuses are not something that sits well with me. So I am looking at using the summer to make adjustments and move forward in a different way. So my summer plans have a lot to do with gaining knowledge, getting back in shape, and getting more consistent with my habits. So with that in mind, I am heading to Michigan for a couple months.

  1. Time to get some walking and hiking on the trials. Part of getting back in shape and getting some fresh air away from the city.
  2. I have teacher training to finish to be fully certified and for professional development.
  3. I and the gym need to get reacquainted – more getting in shape.
  4. Summer Reading List
  5. Camping out – getting back to minimalism and living in a tent for the summer should get me a little different perspective. Hopefully, this will carry over into other things.
  6. I am going to think about teaching but in the broadest terms about class management mostly but also an overall approach to the curriculum.
  7. I am looking at my Atheist activism with more of an overall approach and hoping this will give me some better ideas.

Time to sail home for a bit and regroup. Then come back for another year of pillaging Houston.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Solitary” – A Poem

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

“Solitary” – A Poem

I travel the world alone

Solitary

I search and wander

Solitary

I am not lost

Solitary

I look for knowledge and wisdom

Solitary

To protect what I love

Solitary

But I do it alone

Solitary

Because none but me should bear the cost.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Wayfarer”

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Wayfarer

Alone he walks

The snow crunches

beneath his feet.

He is the Wayfarer

The Walker of Paths

He wanders

But he is not lost.

He seeks

He looks for the wisdom

Of the old, the new

And his fellow travelers

Spear in hand for protection

His friends

Two ravens, Two wolves.

He wanders

He walks

He is the Wayfarer

Author’s commentary:

I fell in love with the imagery of Odin a long time ago. I however didn’t realize that is what the original myth was that I was enjoying because I was reading Lord of the Rings and the character was Gandalf, the Grey. But Tolkien took his inspiration from mythology and in this case Odin.

When I finally did get to Norse mythology as a teen the image of Odin appealed to me. The man leading his people trying to delay his fate and the fate of the Nine Worlds. Trying to delay Ragnorok. Warrior and Wizard all in one. The interesting thing is he doesn’t go out and build an army to fight but takes the role of a humble traveler looking not for strength, but knowledge.

I take for myself the moniker The Grey Wayfarer in honor of this inspiration and in truth this was my inspiration not just for this blog but also for some of my interests. I am a scholar and teacher but I lift weights with a warrior’s mind and discipline. I hike, you don’t get much more Wayfarer than that. I guess I came to see my self-image resonate with this image and this poem is a reflection of that.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Slaying God” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

I love the sentiment of killing gods when it comes to Star Trek’s Lt. Worf and the Klingons, in general. ‘They were more trouble than they were worth.” is one of the best lines in the whole thing. The idea of killing gods seems far fetched until you realize that the battle isn’t against all-powerful beings of various types or a single omnipotent one, but rather these gods only exist in our minds.  It is simply the process of getting rid of those imaginary beings from the way we think and views the universe.

I am still going through this process.  We tend to use the divine to fill the gaps in our knowledge.  As an atheist will tell you though those gaps are getting smaller and smaller. It is also a famous fallacy of logic to say ‘if I don’t know or understand something, therefore god.”

The god of the gaps fallacy is well documented as just because there isn’t an answer yet or something seems mysterious, that doesn’t mean the explanation fo ‘god or gods’ doesn’t have to prove itself as well. God as an explanation for anything still should be subjected to the same scrutiny as everything else that offers up a solution and not just automatically given a nod simply because it seems at the time to offer the only explanation.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

My own mind is still dominated at times by theistic thinking.  I find that this is the longest part of the deconversion process, coming to terms with the fact that I cannot assume god after so long assuming his existence.  It begins to permeate your life how many times the ‘god of the gaps’ fallacy is employed to provide a form of lazy answers and lazy morality.  My current state requires that every moral issue and every question now requires investigation rather than the assumption of the divine is a long work in process. My meditation time seems to focus here a lot.

Mystery:

Yes, there are mysteries in life, but no god really can provide a true answer.  To invoke God is not trying to solve mysteries or discover knowledge. rather it closes off inquiry and leaves an empty space in human knowledge that someone will look at later and show that in that empty space is actually knowledge and no god is required.  This probably the reason the belief in the divine and the religions that go with them is more trouble than its worth.  It retards our growth as human beings.  It causes us in our ignorance to fear that which we do not understand and engage in fearful tribalism that leads us to kill one another over what we believe fills the gaps. Mystery accepted as a god rather than an invitation to an honest inquiry will always do this.

Spirituality:

Perhaps we should take from the ficitonal Klingons the call to action to kill these gods which have been, in my opinion, more trouble than their worth.  They were at one time our first and worst attempt as a human race to uncover the knowledge around us. But spirituality is not divine, but rather very human and for that, we can only look to ourselves to uncover the truth about it. Given the amount of plundering, raping and killing done in the name of religion, it is perhaps time to revolt in our minds and kill the gods and discard them as more trouble than their worth.

Conclusion:

I find that the god I once built in my mind is not so difficult to slay as it is so large and touches areas I hadn’t thought of before. It is more ways and methods of think that need to be changed and having the courage to face my life alone and discover the mysteries of life through following after what I need and want while listening to the caws of reason and wisdom.  The mysteries of life are there to be discovered not feared as some ‘god of the gaps’.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Economics and Common Sense” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Economics

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion

Having a minor in economics apparently puts me above the common man who has an opinion about economic matters. It does, however, add to my frustration level as Rothbard’s quote resonates with my soul quite a bit.  I find a few things frustrating about people’s ignorance of economics.  Mostly how this ignorance is used against them.

Economics is part of my overall philosophy because some of my virtues are connected to business: Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality all of more direct economic issues so knowing something about how economics actually works helps me have more for my ravens to say about those decisions involving those virtues.

Because of the law of scarcity, for instance, I know that there are some things in life not available to everyone, so if you want them you have to earn them.  It gets rid of a sense of entitlement which, to be honest, is one of the most detrimental things a person can have as part of their personality makeup.  Economics is often called codified common sense and so it is a valuable tool in my philosophical toolbox.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

I suppose my need for economic knowledge in relation to philosophy surfaced with some of my decisions when I first went back to school and decided on my major. I knew I wanted something that was in demand and marketable but also flexible.  The one thing I had noted over the years, as technology and knowledge change, so does how business is done and those who can adapt thrive.    The need for flexibility and marketability long term was an issue of the Law of Demand.

Wants (Freki):

On the flip side, the kind of job I wanted is an issue of the Law of Supply.  What’s available. was an issue.  The thing was that Political Science opens that up by one simple thing – I could always be in administration and that is everywhere. Not to mention that just having a Bachelor’s degree from a university that is real-world instead the plastic bubble of religion opens up even more.

Reason (Huginn):

So my current struggles beg the question of which law deals with the fact that I am struggling to find a job and the economics of hidden costs and unintended consequences of economic policies might be a factor. the simply truth is that if someone hires me that has a good benefits package my being older is going to cost them more money even if that benefit is simple health insurance, the premium for me will automatically be higher.

Wisdom (Muninn):

This leads to the wisdom that I need to be ready to give up some raw salary to compensate for that.  It is something I will give up because I would still come out ahead of where I am now. Economics helps me realize that flexibility is called for.

Conclusion:

Personally, economics being part of my overall philosophy has been something that has had a calming effect.  I don’t get bent out of shape when an employer does certain things but I rather ask what the economic issue might be.  Sometimes I have to ask why they don’t consider economics but people are people so they don’t always have economic knowledge and that includes people in charge.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Taoism: Yin and Yang” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Eastern Philosophy

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion

In the rotation, I deal with eastern philosophy directly once, but to be honest there is a lot of Taoism in my philosophical viewpoint.  Particularly the idea of balance or what the Taoist would call yin and yang. The chart below kind fo displays the basic difference.

One might say the whole concept of Wolves and Ravens represents Yin and Yang, but it isn’t that simple because in Taoism some things in my philosophy cross the lines to the other side and some of the things might be considered on both sides depending on how they are applied. For me, you might say the Wolf of Need and the Raven of Reason are Yang, but the Wolf of Want and the Raven of Wisdom (which involves a lot of intuition based on experience) are Yin.

If I take anything from Taoism it is the idea of the balance of life. Of keeping things level instead of overdoing one thing at the expense of the other.  The parallels to this idea are in truth in every philosophical system I can think of as well as a large chunk of the nature of each mythology.

Probably this is found in two other notions: 1) Order (or Law) vs. Chaos (or Liberty) and 2) Good (benevolence) vs. Evil (malevolence).   A Taoist would try to strive for a balance between these and be truly neutral about both of them.  I tend to be more Chaotic but neutral about the question of good and evil.  You might say I boil it down to the issue of law vs. liberty and lean heavy on the side of liberty, but the whole good and evil question might be invalid.  I say ‘might be’ because I am still thinking and meditating about it.  The one thing is that I am deliberately unbalanced right now from a Taoist point of view in regards to law vs. liberty. Mostly because I can see how the law is far easier connected to doing harm in the name of good intentions. Whereas to me liberty brings about a respect for the humanity of the other persons in the world which often benefits all.

I would say at that point the Taoist and I reach a fork in the road and I wish them well and then take the fork in the road that says ‘liberty is better than law’.  That said, balance in other aspects of my life is influenced and reflects an understanding of Taoism.  Balance is a constant consideration of mine.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

The need for balance is illustrated in what happens when the balance is not maintained.  I can speak from painful experience of the consequences of not maintaining the balance between self-love and loving others as an example.  Too far on self-love and you become a narcissist and too far in the love of others makes you a living martyr that eventually leads to self-destruction.  Neither is desirable and the balance keeps you functioning both in the love of self and others without the extremes of either. The need for balance is pretty clear from a preservation standpoint.

Wants (Freki):

A proper balance is also wanted.  It leads to greater success. I have known many men and women who their life was their work and in the end, they never enjoyed once the fruit of their labors.  Because they didn’t know how to relax and enjoy the fruit of their labors, their health suffered.  On the flip side, I have known people who gave themselves over to hedonism without working at all.  Their laziness leads to poverty and quite frankly a lack of honor.  The ultimate expression of this is the thief who lives on the labors of others.  The one who learns to balance work and enjoyment will be the one who is truly successful and that is something I definitely want.

Reason (Huginn):

Reason comes into these things as you have to think about things fairly regularly to observe if balance is being maintained.  Balance doesn’t come easily or without a lot of thought behind it.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I would say Taoism as a philosophy has a lot of wisdom to it, but I would evaluate things ma little differently as far as what needs to be balanced. That said, the principles are very universal and wise at the same time and I have no trouble listening to them and applying those I think leads to wisdom.

Conclusion:

I suppose Of Wolves and Ravens is indeed my own form of Taoism.  Balancing need and want with reason and wisdom.  But there is an imbalance built-in to that – listening to reason and wisdom first. A little asymmetry is good for us actually so that is something else to consider. Next week is western philosophy and I think there is a debate there that is about asymmetry that will be good to look at when considering this.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Try Not to Be an Ass” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Wisdom

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

With this post, I will have gone through the entire rotation fo the Nine Noble Virtues and nine other Philosophical points that underpin my thoughts of personal philosophy. Namely my own personal philosophy.  Next week we will begin again with the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru and start this rotation again.  Today though we end with the concept of wisdom.

I think the first time I really felt I understood the basics of understanding Wisdom it was actually reading a Dungeons and Dragons explanation of Wisdom.  In contrasting Wisdom from Intelligence, the old basic handbook reads something like this as I recall: “Intelligence tells you it is raining.  Wisdom tells you to put on your raincoat and grab an umbrella.”

Of course, there is the idea in the wisdom of finding better ways to apply knowledge and use it to better face situations.  I have learned there is a great deal of difference between experience/age and wisdom too.  Just because people are older or more experienced at something doesn’t mean they are wiser.  Some people simply have gained knowledge but that knowledge. as the proverb says, simply is books tied to the backside of an ass. They simply haven’t figured out that they are supposed to actually learn something about their knowledge that actually benefits their life so they continue to remain dumb asses.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I see the need for wisdom because wisdom if it ministers to any need it is the ability to live life fully taking full advantage of every opportunity. That one lives a peaceful and full life is the product of engaging wisdom and enjoying its fruits.  The need for wisdom becomes apparent.

Wants (Freki):

We want wisdom too. Difficulties are far easier dealt with by wise people.  I will venture to say most of us will face difficulties at some point and we want them to be easily dealt with. If we have some level of wisdom, this want will be easily met. Problems will seem a little lesser when wisdom is not only applied but a regular part of our lives.

Reason (Huginn):

Reason is only one Raven.  Those that are reasonable can see the difference between reason and wisdom. You can be knowledgeable and reasonable but that doesn’t make you wise.  It takes wisdom to get the theoretical to become. reality.  I have watched a great many theories in my life come to nothing because no matter how good something looks on paper if you don’t have a practical plan that people will buy into, it fails. Reason embraces wisdom and so completes itself.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom is a wise pursuit. It completes things and makes them whole.

Conclusion:

I am often accused of being a smart ass.  I counter that its better than being a dumb ass. In contrasting knowledge and wisdom.  I would rather have those books being read and applied than just resting on the ass’ backside. I may be a smart ass at times, but I refuse to be a dumb ass lacking wisdom. I don’t know if I always succeed but it is better to pursue wisdom than to be a contented fool.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Warrior’s Foundation” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Identity is one of the most important things that a person can understand particularly when it regards themselves. How one views one’s own identity has a great bearing on the decisions they make and the level of success they attain. I have spent a great deal of time these last few months meditating on the subject of my own identity.

In the end, three words keep rising to the top: Warrior, Wayfarer, and Wolf.

Today I want to look at the Warrior.  To me, this is foundational to my identity as far as what is a core identity.  I know there is little cause for a man to be an actual warrior these days.  Very few have the true necessity of fighting in a real battle. But the battle of life still requires in my identity a warrior’s philosophy. “Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.”  A warrior’s foundation allows one to face all things in life with honor, courage, and truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Part of this core is and perhaps the central part of the core is Honor. To be noble of being and to recognize it in others. To be positive about my future.  This week marks a year since things regarding the honor of my past identity came unraveled. My life as a pastor ( my central identity at the time) came to an end just a year ago, and a change from pastor to the warrior as a foundational identity started.  It has been a rocky road to get here, but I am feeling like something is about to happen here that will be a larger leap into a more honorable me. Part of this is to surround myself with honorable people, who are my core friends.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

It is not always easy to do what is right.  As I look back at last year at this time because I was a pastor only in name and not in full truth; it was difficult to show courage. These days I face mistakes much better and own up to them when they happen.  The change is simply a matter of understanding my identity of being a warrior that takes responsibility for his actions. Courage is central to that.  To act with courage at the right time has become a core principle.  At the same time, it also takes courage to confront when people are not taking their responsibility and that has its risks but that is a far better course than to sit back and let them continue to avoid their responsibility.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

The warrior faces the truth.  Lies do not become true men of action.  I know one man who was a friend of mine who is now an enemy. I would say this is his greatest failing.  He is a good combatant, but he surrounds himself with lies. He is a false front of bravery, but he never seems to have the courage to face the truth. He only bolsters his own previously held opinions, no matter what the cost might be to what is true. I seek to never be like that.  One needs humility to know, understand and apply the truth. If you can’t face a simple truth that it is not possible to be right all the time, the truth will not be your core.

Higher Virtue: Love:

What does a warrior love? It is a modified version of the question: which path is the most loving? If the path is honorable, requires courage and embraces the truth, it is the one the warrior would walk.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

I decided to make daily stretching a part of this routine again.  I am noticing that without this I have a lot more problems with stiffness and joint soreness. It also is a good continuation of the calm meditative state I am going for in the morning.

I want this next week to be a test of all the disciplines from today to next Sun’s Day. Let’s see if we can have a full and complete week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Life’s Blacksmith

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

It seems this proverb has a lot of origin stories but I can imagine every blacksmith probably drew this conclusion that each and every person smiths his own life. Life being raw iron that needs to be smithed in order to turn it into something that you want it to be. Who you are and what your life will become results from taking the raw materials of both and forging them into what you want. Being a smith is no easy task and having the life you want is not easy either.

Life tends to be like iron in this regard.  Very little of it can be changed without discipline, perseverance, and fidelity.   Particularly fidelity to one’s self. These are the tools that one forges one’s life from.  This concept dominates my thinking at times as I try to build the life I want and these virtues along with the other six are tools that make this possible.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

To make a good sword, steel has to be folded over and over again.  There is a repetition to most things in smithing that is about making something stronger, better or so it can be done by habit. This requires you to be hard on yourself first and then others around you second when appropriate.  Right now I look at what I am trying to achieve both as far as goals and my bucket list and discipline myself through routines so that relentlessly I am working toward achieving them.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Every Smith screws up at some point.  They have to go back and fix something or start over or keep doing something that is tedious to get where you want to be. Failure is never looked at as final defeat but rather a lesson learned and an opportunity to change and grow.  That is the heart of perseverance.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I am struggling with this part – being loyal to myself.  There are things I want in life yet and I need to make the commitment not to compromise on them. I tend to try to make others happy at times and at the expense of myself.  Old habits I guess. These days though, I need to build myself again and recast myself in a different form. To do that I need to stay true to the vision I have for myself.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Experience can breed wisdom or regret.  The choice is yours. I choose to learn and grow and look for something better. Wisdom is a big help in this and I am learning it every day.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

School is winding down and I will refocus my attention on a shorter list of things. One of those things is getting all my routines to start to forge my life better. This one, in particular, is very key to doing that.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 8 – Women Troubles

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 21st, 2019

It’s been a week since my last journal entry.  At that point, I had asked a question about what I needed to do to disappear? To fake my own death and thus keep my family protected from the Council of Magical Houses. Not a light question to ask but rather one for which I knew the short term consequences would be very grave.  If the Council was ever defeated, even then, I might not be able to come back because of repercussions from people who might want revenge. I am sure many other men and women have been down this road, I just never thought it would be me.

After finding my clothes, the Lioness offered to me a room in the Venus mansion.  It was basically part of the attic with a corner window that looked out over the grounds.  I remember the Venus mansion from when I was teen, but I have never been up here and I was glad for the fact that I was separated from the women that lived here. The House of Venus takes female superiority and feminism to whole new levels.  I have enough women troubles without being around a group of them that is generally hostile and would see me as a threat as well as a piece of meat and a walking dildo.

The attic apartment, because that is what it is, suits my needs. It has a bed, a small kitchen area and a work area in a medium size open space.  A small bathroom is cordoned off with its own room.  When I asked about it, the Lioness simply said it was a place they kept for people who needed privacy and perhaps a safe place to stay. I guess I fit that bill on both counts.

I now had access to some of the reports about me in the files of the Council and it has caused me to realize how I need to truly disappear very soon. They are very alarmed about me and the possibility I might take the side of pixies and tilt the balance at least in this area.  They won’t accept that because the war right now is tightly contested.  Magical creatures and mages are paying heavy prices for even the smallest gain. The Council would see my entry as a full-fledged battle mage as a threat they can ill afford. So the plan was for me to stay low and get ready to ‘die’ and disappear.

Thing is, I am not really taking a side here.  I am joining the resistance but that resistance’s goal is not to make a pixie world or a mage world but rather a free world for all magic. The Council is a threat to that, but so also are certain magical creatures and groups that want chaos to reign.  You might see the council as the extreme end of the order and the creatures that support the genocide of mages as the extreme end of chaos.  The thing the resistance wanted was neither of these two extremes forced on others, but rather letting each creature/mage decided for themselves their own path between order and chaos. An idea that is only really dangerous in the minds of tyrants.

Probably more on my mind was how I was surrounded by women at this point. As a now happy bachelor, I would have enjoyed it except most of them want me dead. The only thing that is stopping that is the Lioness decree and my bodyguard.

Her name is Amber.  She is an absolutely gorgeous redhead.  Tall too, as she is only probably half a head shorter than me. She is young, so the beauty she has is probably actually natural.  I trust her because she is not an illusionist or mentalist type of mage.  She is a straight up evoker specializing in fire magic. Nice curves too.  She often wears a low backed gown usually of red and gold jewelry.  Basically, no one bothers me when she is at my shoulder, and oddly enough she is one of the few House Venus types that doesn’t seem to be assessing my body like a piece of meat and wondering what condom size I wear.  I like her because she is the only woman in the place who my relationship with is not complicated. Her job is to keep me alive. I am cool with that.

The other women in my life are not so simple.

Raven will be my contact with the resistance in the field.  She and her team of the troll and the skinny mage will be my backup if things turn to shit. The dark gothic half-elf, who is probably the same age as myself but looks eighteen, is competent, but there is something about her with me that is pure sexual temptation and trying to maintain professionalism in that mindset is difficult.

The Lioness is professional and probably keeping her looks alive with magic and alchemy.  That said she is also roughly my age.  I can hold my end with her.  I don’t trust her to be honest for a lot of reasons.  If the war goes poorly for the resistance, I can see her disavowing all knowledge to save her own curvy ass. She is the kind of person who supports change until that change causes her personal risk to the point she backs off and plays CYA.

Lunette is sullen these days. I think she wanted to reignite this old flame we had, but based on some things I said she might have come to the conclusion that it is a ‘no’ and maybe that it is out the realm of possibility for me.  Honestly, though, my attitude toward sex is getting more pixie-like every day since leaving the whole Christian faith.  My magic aura to her is like crack cocaine, and for me, pixies represent a recharge and supercharged magical force that I cannot begin to describe.  The relationship would be intensely erotic and be mutually beneficial on a practical magical front.  The only problem is pixies have no concept of sexual fidelity. Not that it represents as big of a problem to me anymore.

The only thing that keeps me from dating and the whole sex issue right now is a promise I made to myself about mourning my wife for six months. I still wear my ring for that reason. January is almost over and that would be three months.  Halfway there.  Once April is over, then I am going to set the ring aside and enter the world of male-female relationships once again and I don’t really have this idea that sex is strictly for marriage anymore. It is just Lunette and me have some baggage of another variety and I don’t know if I want to open up that suitcase of pain.

Then there is the whole ‘spirit’ of Elpis shit. Is it possible that Miss Salty was under the influence of Elpis?  Shit, that would explain a lot but I have no idea what motivates a dryad turned possessor of human females.  What rage or hurt is driving her right now or quite frankly what drove her to destroy the tree and leave the grove in the first place?

Besides all the other preparation to disappear, I had two things I really needed to do as main things. 1) Visit the grove and see for myself what happened and 2) assembly my team for action. The first I resolve to do tomorrow and the second I am still waiting for the first dossiers to arrive.

Its been a while since I have been to the Grove.   Hell, it’s been a while since I even looked at it from a distance. But there are internal real questions as well as practical ones to answer. I have a suspicion this is going to be painful but necessary.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!