Relationships – “Look at the Long Haul”

Happy Freya’s Day!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about what I am looking for in a woman in the Post: Looking for a Shieldmaiden. In that post, I said I was looking for three main qualities: Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy.

The reason I was looking for these qualities is that these qualities are long-term. I have no desire to enter temporary relationships because my time is limited. No time to play around with games and such. More of a both of us placing what we have on the table and looking at a simple question – can we build something with this that will last?

THat’s why the qualities of Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy. Fidelity, so we stay with it. Peace – Because prosperity is not built by conflict. Intimacy – the mortar that holds it together. Long-term building materials.

It takes work to maintain a good relationship but also takes good building materials and that is why I want a Shieldmaiden.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Sex – “What’s Your Body Count, Mr. Raby?”

Happy Freya’s Day!

I was teaching class one day and I had been given an assignment and was walking around making sure the students were working on it. Most of my students know I am divorced and thus single. The students were working and talking like students do and then one of my piped up and asked: “What’s your body count, Mr. Raby?” Several of the other students quickly remarked this was not a proper question to ask a teacher. I didn’t have to answer after that and I didn’t. It was quickly forgotten except by me.

I know what the question means as I have been single long enough to get the question through dating. For me, it is not a matter of pride or shame, but of faith. The number is one. My ex-wife was my only sex partner so far. Not that had I met up with the woman I had an affair with I might not have made it two at the time. The reason is simply that one does not fool around in Christianity, at least in theory.

In reality, I lost track of the affairs I knew about in my churches as a pastor. I also lost track of the people who were discovered fooling around. Just because people are religious doesn’t mean they don’t want to fuck or are attracted to others. It gets really hard for some as being LGBTQ sucks inside the church. But that was never me until the end and even then it never happened.

Back to me though, I have never thought the idea of casual sex was a smart one. Sex as an expression of friendship, companionship, love, and commitment are OK in my book, but the modern hookup culture doesn’t appeal to me. I guess sex in the context of a relationship is something I would do if I trust the person. I am just not into getting my rocks off and ghosting or being ghosted.

It’s why I left the online dating scene. Too much fronting and too much of it about getting laid instead of genuine relationships. I like sex, but I am not going to go through the cesspool of internet dating to get it. Until my shieldmaiden comes along, I am happy to just work on myself. Sex is something I long for as a man and my tastes are very masculine, but until the right partner comes along, I am happy with my body count of one.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Learning How to Teach

Happy Saturn’s Day!

About four years ago I made the decision to become a teacher. Even after a year of teaching squirrely freshmen, I still do not regret the decision. Every day in the classroom I learn something new. Learning how to teach is something I have often done, but it was part of my job, not the whole. Now it is the whole of what I do.

I teach World Geography which is the only downside and I probably will be doing it again next year, Of all the Social Studies topics it is my least favorite, but no one was offering my dream job. Get in the door first Ed, then prepare to embrace the right opportunity. This is where I am now, but not where I will eventually be.

Regardless, my chief lessons have nothing to due with World Geography. World Geography is a tool to teach what every teacher should teach – character. Vitrue and its expression in real life should be the goal of every teacher regardless of the subject. Because these can always be taught and have value in more than just in my class but in life. I don’t care if I see some of my students five years from now and they don’t know a lick of World Geography anymore. Shit, they can look up everything I teach on Google.

I will be proud if they talk to me about a job they got a promotion on because they were hard-working or that they have started a family with honor and fidelity as the center. If they talk about how they faced their fears and acted despite them. That is the joy of being a teacher.

Until then, though it is learning how to teach character through whatever subject I am teaching. That is work and I love the job. Doesn’t hurt that I get paid better than any job I have had. But in the end, it is about the satisfaction of those moments where students get it and become better.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Looking for A Shieldmaiden

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Since my divorce, I have dated a handful of times. Mostly this has ended in a “Meh” from both me and the woman. While I can’t speak for the woman’s side as the only feedback I got from a couple of them was – ‘it might be too early for you Ed.” Yeah, my brain says you are probably right, but my dick says otherwise. Never been a guy for one-night stands because I have figured my empathic nature requires that I have some sort of feeling for a woman before I would have sex with her. And let’s be honest, the whole female-male thing is about sex in large part, but a long-term relationship requires a different viewpoint. My situation requires that I be having sex for good emotional/relational reasons, not just physical ones.

There are, of course, other reasons for a man and woman to be involved with each other. I would still say the time-honored and tested method of having a good stable family is nuclear, although I think others work as well. Evolution created and society recognizes this in practicality, if not vocally. My reasons for having a woman in my life in a relationship are not a long list. The qualities I am looking for are, in my opinion, feminine strengths. Even if the woke and politically correct crowd does not recognize them as such. In short, I am looking for a Shieldmaiden.

  1. Fidelity – I don’t want to worry if she has my back or not. When the world tries to come at us as a couple, I want us to go automatically back to back and the world loses. I want a woman who is strong in her feminine nature but understands that being independent is about freedom of choices. It doesn’t mean we don’t need each other.
  2. Peace – Bring my life peace. Make my dick hard, not my life and I will not make you hot and bothered, not give you tears. By carrying each other’s burdens our overall load gets lighter. When things get chaotic, we turn to each other to calm the chaos. Our home is the pale of peace and safety and we both work hard to make it so.
  3. Intimacy – It is easy to point to the sexual side of intimacy and that is very important. But I want a woman who is intimate of mind and heart as well. Where the ‘pillow talk’ matters just as much as the sex before it; conversation just as much as coitus.

I don’t think that is asking too much and it’s not a long list. I know this is something that takes time to develop, but if this is the goal and desire, I am willing to make it so.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Final Form – Self Virtues” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Not going to write too long here as my goals for Self are much the same but the differences are based more on focusing on results.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To develop and follow a results-focused nutritional plan that results in fat loss, muscle gain or maintenance, and a lower A1c.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act that most Christians would not approve of.

I need a nutritional plan that simply works to d the three main things of fat loss, muscle gain, and sugar control.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in stretching every day, to follow a practical strength-building program nad to walk 5k three times a week baring weather.

Bucket List: To get a tattoo.

Training is still the same three-fold thing, just more structured.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: To research my family tree to the point I can create a final copy to present to my family.

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all.

Nothing here except to more fully understand heritage.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Just looking for the wisest course for me now. I can’t really think of too much else.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Training – 5 hours.
  6. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  7. Writing – 1000 Words

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved:

2018-19 – 7 Goals Achieved.

2020 –

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Self Goals – Old and New” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy (Sol’s) Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

It has been a rough week from the standpoint of being tired and quite frankly experiencing cabin fever and that is compounded by the COVID-19 lockdown in my state. I have struggled to write but as March 2020 comes to close I need to focus on my goals for my next year.

So I would say I would call my Self area mostly a success.  – Exercise program, check.  30th anniversary with the wife, check.  Nutritionally I was hit and miss but the results were good in that I lost fat and kept the muscles good  It wasn’t fully Paleo but it worked. 2-0-1 then.  Final tally: 6-2-1.  A winning record and to be honest I would have had one more win but tattoo places are shut down and that was my best hope for crossing off a bucket list item went with that.  That’s why my bucket list item under that will be double to two items for next year.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020. (half achieved)

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

New Goal: To develop and follow a results-focused nutritional plan that results in fat loss, muscle gain or maintenance, and a lower A1c.

This is one area where I need a lifestyle focus rather than just a specific diet and one that worked regardless of what form it takes.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020 (Goal Achieved)

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

New Goal: To engage in morning stretching every day, to follow a practical strength-building program nad to walk 5k three times a week baring weather.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

New Goal: To research my family tree to the point I can create a final copy to present to my family.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

There is part of my life where the stress is very real because I am trying to find a way forward that is wise and best for me. It’s not easy and that causes me to be more fatigued on top of everything else.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Writing – 1000 Words

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 7

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
  6. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.
  7. To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Reconsidering Goals – Part 3” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

My self goals will be mostly hits.  My nutritional goal was successful in results but nature was not right all the time. I have been training faithfully and I went out with the wife on our anniversary.

Next Year needs to be more about raising the bar in all these things.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act

I am thinking this goal next year needs to be about nutrition but with the goal not of a specific diet but results. I am thinking of some sort of way of measuring fat percentage.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I need to up the ante but also get more days where I truly rest.  I am finding recovery is longer and less effective as I get older so the efficiency of workouts means more than volume.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I want something to do with the whole fam family this time but not sure what.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Wisdom is self-motivated for me. Ultimately the only one who takes care of me is me.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Writing – 1000 Words

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 6

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
  6. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Nine Principle Axes – Part 3” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

As next week I start engaging my goals and bucket list items in depth to set them for the coming year.  I am now closing out the discussion with looking at my self Principles and it is fitting that I end here because at the moment my self-interests are peaked at the top for me with me really trying to get to a point where I am being improved as well as my situation.  Self-interest is not a sin but rather a benefit to everyone so I am neither a burden or drag on anyone else’s progress.

The Path to this is Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity.  The discipline of myself, Perseverance of self, and fidelity to self-being paramount to me anymore. These principles are becoming more and more the backbone of my life.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

I have been struggling of late with discipline.  The Grey does that.  It is a real struggle as I know discipline helps overcome The Grey, but also The Grey undermines discipline.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Learning from every failure is as important as getting up from each one.  I ask myself if I should add this to the Principles but the action is mostly to keep getting up.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I am struggling to see clearly on fidelity. I don’t discount fidelity it is just that there are some things to be loyal to that are in conflict right now.  I guess sometimes, in the virtue of fidelity, you have to prioritize what you are going to be loyal to.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

The greatest wisdom is to develop a virtue out of selfishness.  I need to read Ayn Rand’s book on the subject again,

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Writing – 1000 Words

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 6

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
  6. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Nine Shields – Part 3” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Finishing out this week on my virtues and using the analogy of them being shields. My self virtues are mostly focused on self-improvement and strengthening. These are the strong shields that guard that which is closest to me. Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity are shields to my life and heart.

My only concern is that I learn to be wise in all things.  This wisdom is found in the process of disciplining myself, continuing to learn from my own mistakes and staying faithful to my moral philosophy and my relationships.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

I need to do the harder things and challenge myself more.  No greater purpose can be achieved through contentment.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My main commitment is not to just get up from failure but to also to learn from them as well.  I am learning that this leads to no falling and failing so much in the first place.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I am trying to place myself and my more philosophy more central in all this because it allows me to think in terms of myself which is something I have to work on more and more.  I am far too naturally sacrificing and that needst one monitored better.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

As I look to the future, finding a wise path is more and more important.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Writing – 1000 Words

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 6

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
  6. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Last Week of Open Discussion – Part 3” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In considering the future of my self virtue goals, the issue is one of refinement. At the same time, I need to engage something specific that is measurable as a goal.  I have to put something in front of myself in order to motivate not only further action but also actions that get better results than before.

Starting next week the process of creating and refining goals begins with a consideration of virtues once more.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

Virtue good, Principle good. Goal – nutritional but focused more on results than a specific form. The bucket list item is still there, the only thing that might change is the date.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Virtue good.  Principle good. The goal may very well be something like leaning out to a certain body fat level but perhaps that is better in the area of self-discipline.  If this is about training then what am I training for?  My bucket list item will probably be the same but with maybe two tattoos instead of one.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

GoalCelebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Virtue good. Principle good. Doing something for my kids in the goal. Getting closer to the DNA results.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

I am trying to use my failure to generate success and that is the best I have for wisdom this week.  Regroup, rearm, hit it again.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Writing – 1000 Words

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 6

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
  6. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!