Love – “Runes”

Happy Freya’s Day!

I know the combination of the Viking Runes and Love might be a little puzzling but it’s the whole mysterious thing that I am going for. The Viking Runes are without a doubt mysterious in a lot of ways and while there are a lot of theories as to what they mean, not a lot definitive is known.

This ignorance hasn’t stopped people from playing the game of trying to figure out the Runes or co-opting them for their own purposes or adding their own meaning to them. This means any discussion of the Runes becomes either very hypothetical, theoretical or just what runes mean to each person.

Doesn’t that sound a little like the concept of love? I think the mystery of anything, particularly something most of us consider a virtue or a necessity, causes us to engage in even more emotional attachment.

Love is one of those virtues that I pursue. To be seen as a loving person. To do this requires waking the trail of mystery. To walk without complete understanding or knowledge of what love is is par for the course. Changing loves applications and meanings. Give the correlations – just maybe the runes are all about love.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – “Courage – Fear is a Choice”

Happy Odin’s Day!

“I will face my fears and defend my family and kindred from all dangers”

As a Christian, I was sold on the notion that perfect love casts out fear. Until you realize that the organized monotheistic religions all live and continue to exist based on fear of hell or punishment. There is no real love in it. So love doesn’t really cast out fear.

There is also the statement that Fear is not real. But the statement kind of indicates fear is a choice. I am not sure about that completely, but I get the sentiment that we choose in some ways to let fear paralyze us. It is a choice to be fearful. Or perhaps we chose to deal with our fears by either submitting to them or dismissing them and forging forward despite them.

The only part of this philosophy I truly follow when it comes to the Nine Noble Virtues is to face my fear and defend those who I love as an action. Courage is the force that overcomes these. Courage is the choice to defend rather than to run.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Relationships – “Look at the Long Haul”

Happy Freya’s Day!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about what I am looking for in a woman in the Post: Looking for a Shieldmaiden. In that post, I said I was looking for three main qualities: Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy.

The reason I was looking for these qualities is that these qualities are long-term. I have no desire to enter temporary relationships because my time is limited. No time to play around with games and such. More of a both of us placing what we have on the table and looking at a simple question – can we build something with this that will last?

THat’s why the qualities of Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy. Fidelity, so we stay with it. Peace – Because prosperity is not built by conflict. Intimacy – the mortar that holds it together. Long-term building materials.

It takes work to maintain a good relationship but also takes good building materials and that is why I want a Shieldmaiden.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – “Nine to Three to One”

Happy Odin’s Day!

When I first started this blog I would talk about the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and then talk about the three higher vitrues of Love, Justice and Wisdom. I still beleive in these higher virtues I will jsut talk about to them less becasue as I have tried ot live my life by the NNV I now recognize that these higher virtues simply are more and more just a result of living the NNV. It’s simply a matter of growth.

This has led me to seeing that all virtues in the NNV form the threefold cord of Justice, Love and Wisdom. These three virtues form the Noble Life. This is the one goal – a life that is lived in nobility of character and humanity. The Nine form the Three and the three twist into the life that is lived in nobility. A Noble Life is the ultimate goal of the NNV.

The big thing for me as why I follow this philosophy is that anyone can do this. Wealth or skill or experience does not matter. What matters is that one pursue virtues to get to the noble life lived. Nine to three to one.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Sex – “What’s Your Body Count, Mr. Raby?”

Happy Freya’s Day!

I was teaching class one day and I had been given an assignment and was walking around making sure the students were working on it. Most of my students know I am divorced and thus single. The students were working and talking like students do and then one of my piped up and asked: “What’s your body count, Mr. Raby?” Several of the other students quickly remarked this was not a proper question to ask a teacher. I didn’t have to answer after that and I didn’t. It was quickly forgotten except by me.

I know what the question means as I have been single long enough to get the question through dating. For me, it is not a matter of pride or shame, but of faith. The number is one. My ex-wife was my only sex partner so far. Not that had I met up with the woman I had an affair with I might not have made it two at the time. The reason is simply that one does not fool around in Christianity, at least in theory.

In reality, I lost track of the affairs I knew about in my churches as a pastor. I also lost track of the people who were discovered fooling around. Just because people are religious doesn’t mean they don’t want to fuck or are attracted to others. It gets really hard for some as being LGBTQ sucks inside the church. But that was never me until the end and even then it never happened.

Back to me though, I have never thought the idea of casual sex was a smart one. Sex as an expression of friendship, companionship, love, and commitment are OK in my book, but the modern hookup culture doesn’t appeal to me. I guess sex in the context of a relationship is something I would do if I trust the person. I am just not into getting my rocks off and ghosting or being ghosted.

It’s why I left the online dating scene. Too much fronting and too much of it about getting laid instead of genuine relationships. I like sex, but I am not going to go through the cesspool of internet dating to get it. Until my shieldmaiden comes along, I am happy to just work on myself. Sex is something I long for as a man and my tastes are very masculine, but until the right partner comes along, I am happy with my body count of one.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – Interconnected

Happy Odin’s Day!

The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) each have their own purpose. The surprising thing is how much they overlap and often two or more virtues work in you t the same time. Discipline, Industriousness, and Self-Reliance often work together to bring prosperity into one’s life. Fidelity and Self-Reliance provide a balance between not being a burden to others while at the same time being a support to family and friends.

For me, there have been other aspects. I used to group the virtues by function in the past, and I no longer do that. The idea that some virtues are more in tune with love or justice or wisdom was something I thought until I realized that by living the nine virtues, all nine lead to being a person with these qualities. It’s a simple change, but in my meditations, I realize truth can be about love, justice, or wisdom. sometimes all three at once. I realized I was limiting what each virtue could do by such assumptions and categories.

This actually simplified things rather than complicated them. I now can meditate on the NNV without really keeping each one of them in a box. I don;t have to have a filter as to where they must go. Life meets virtue and what virtue might be the most helpful at that moment could be any one of them. It’s both freeing and simplified.

I find myself these days meditating on this interconnectedness far more than each virtue on its own. How do they twist into that cord or symbol that is the whole of being a virtuous person? It’s refreshing in some ways.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Ruins” – A Poem

Happy Main’s Day!

“Ruins” by Edward W . Raby, Sr.

There was once life here

Now all is ruin

Window pains broken

Doorways with no doors

No roof.

We build this house brick by brick

Love was the mortar

We had children, raised them

We gave our love to them

Taking the mortar and giving it to them

Then they left.

We discovered the mortar of our love

Was cracked and crumbling – nothing.

But we had no time to reset it.

We continued to live giving it away

The roof collapsed

The bricks fell apart

We walked away

And now all is ruins.

A sad testimony to what was

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Love: All My Exes Don’t Live in Texas

Happy Freya’s Day!

So I start this new routine and here we are talking about love, sex, and relationships the first thing. Let’s stick with just love for this one. For me, and probably the rest of the human race love is complicated. For me specifically, it’s complicated by the fact that my heart is a stupid fuck that can’t stop loving a woman once it starts and this has massive problems long term.

It took me literally several years debating with myself, therapy, and several gut-wrenching decisions moments to divorce my wife. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her, but I didn’t feel loved by her, nor did I feel she was a person who gave me peace. We weren’t yelling at each other or anything like that, but the relationship became tired and old and no matter how much I tried on my end to point this out, it was ignored by a lack of desire to change that from her. When you pour out your guts to a woman about what’s wrong emotionally with your relationship and it takes three months for her to get back to you on it that is not good. That’s a communication problem and we had a big one which is me and her and not just her. We had counseling, read books, and yet – divorce.

Here is the funny part. I have no problem loving her. If in the course of our lives, and I told her this when we parted; if she needs a shoulder to cry on, a hug, kiss, or a love-making session, I am still there for her as a friend. I know her Christianity will never allow her to accept this. She would have to set it aside. But for my part, I consider her a friend and wish her nothing but happiness. I also have the weakness of if she really needed me I would respond.

My first love is happily married to someone else. She has kids and another life, but my heart still has a place for her. I still on rare occasions run across her and it’s awkward for me at least. Some weakness, if she were to ask for my help, I am there. I still wish her nothing but happiness.

Miss Salty. She hurt me and may have done it on purpose. She can’t help it though as she has some mental issues that I should have known were trouble. But I was broken myself at the time and vulnerable, so perhaps it was just two broken people trying to find peace in each other. It worked for a short time. Until it didn’t. Same weakness if she came into my life. I hope she finds happiness.

Maybe this is why I moved to Texas. Less chance of any of them walking into my life at this point at the random. I might have subconsciously needed the space for all of them to reset my love life. I am a bachelor now and while that comes with its own form of loneliness, it also has some tremendous freedoms to it in regard to what relationships I can have and what I can do in them. But that is a subject for next week.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Writing from the Heart

Happy Odin’s Day!

As I enter my second week of writing every day, I am trying to find my groove. Part of that has always been to have a setlist of topics. A Weekly Routine or writing with each day being about writing on that topic on that day. To be honest, this does help me, but it sometimes gets in the way of writing from the heart. If a topic doesn’t vibe with me that day, it will be choppy.

I have spoken before about finding my Muse and I still recognize my need for a woman in my life for this to be a supercharged inspiration. I know it will be mIss right when she inspires my best writing. In the meantime, I have been reflecting on what I like about women in general. There are some obstacles to this like being recently divorced, experiencing modern feminism in a lot of women, and just generally being more traditionally-minded (not completely) about women.

So having a set routine and trying to find my groove is a good option. I just don’t want to stop writing from the heart. Routine being a tool to keep you writing is one thing, but if you feel inspired to write on something else, you should probably break the routine and do that. A routine should be guidelines, not actual rules.

In the coming week, I will be thinking about my Routine. But I also will keep writing from the heart s much as possible.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Music and The Wayfarer

Happy Mani’s Day!

If you know me you know that my musical taste is very eclectic. Mostly, I tend to listen to music that reflects my emotions. Some people, a very few, have been able to figure out that if you want to know what iI am going through emotionally in my head all you really have to do is listen to my playlist. If you are emotionally inclined you can read between the lines and find the connections between the songs I am listening to and what I am thinking and feeling.

I have always been impressed by people who can read me this way. Miss Salty was one of these and it was sometimes scary how accurate she was. My ex-wife was not. Often she would just pass judgment on what I was listening to. She had no desire to know me in this way. The point I am making here is that the woman who can read my music and thus read me has an advantage. It’s a weakness, maybe. Or it is just a safer way for me to express my emotions without verbalizing them. I guess I would rather look at it as an open door to understanding the man who is The Grey Wayfarer.

Because my emotions change, what I listen to changes with it. It is probably also why I look for new music all the time because I do run into emotions that have no expression and I look for something musical to express them. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am not. But the search can be some of the most rewarding I have done. Especially when something new turns out to be perfect.

It’s probably why I don’t hate on any genre, but there are some I just don’t resonate with. Probably because what they express just isn’t me or my emotions.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!