54 – My Birthday and My Goals for Healthy Next Year

March 18, 2023 / Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sif’s Day and Happy Birthday to Me!

I am Detroit Lions Fan so I in general have a respectful hatred for all things Chicago Bears. That said, when I was picking the number 54 to represent one of the best for the number of my age 54, Brian Urlacher went to the front of the class. Got to give the Devil his due. The man could Ball. Linebacker sized, fast as safety, and skilled. I was happy to see him retire so the Lions wouldn’t have to face him twice a year anymore.

So today I turn 54. I can’t lean into my early fifties anymore with that number, we are definitely middle fifties now. I have tried to turn my birthday back in but no one wants to take it. So I guess I will own it for as long as it gets mileage. My birthday has one redeeming feature, it works far better than New Year for changing my life’s course. This year My goal is to get healthy in a lot of areas.

Physically I want to get back to pre-COVID. Muscled. leaned out with good strength, endurance, and flexibility. I was in the best shape of my life in March 2020 and then we all know what happened to take us all away from the gym which in retrospect was a bad thing overall. I want to look the part of the sexy over-50 man, so this is the year.
Emotionally and Mentally I need to be in a better place. To that end, I want to work on getting back to being a creative educator. This may take some time. I also renewed my relationship with my therapist. I am hoping to be more disciplined and focused going forward in my life.
Financial Health needs to be a focus this year. I need more income than working for the world’s largest brick-and-mortar retailer can provide. This involves creating some income streams outside the norm. As well as looking for better career choices.
Family/Friends: I feel like communication needs to be a focus this year and given that I seem at times to be the source of my family’s anxiety. I want to change that if at all possible. I just tend to be reserved and quiet most of the time.
Love: I would like if at all possible, to be in love by this time next year with a woman who makes me better. I am good being a bachelor, but I mess with having a confident, lover and partner in crime. Not going to force it, but I am looking harder for it.

Well, I have soem work to do. Hopefully tomorrow I will be starting my D&D series and then the rotation for this and a few other projects will be rolling. This year is about learning and implementing things for good personal health in a lot of areas.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Learning to Focus

February 10, 2023 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Freya’s Day!

Right now I have the time to step back and regain my focus. I have certain areas of my life that I am trying to improve on and I need to refocus on them. So this post will be listing them and saying a few words to clarify for both you the gentle reader and myself.

Writing – There are basically two habits I need to put in place and that is the writing itself, and no good writer is worth anything without also being a reader. But in reading I don’t want to read as much as I want to study the book I am reading. Quality of quantity.
Media Presence – In this case Youtube Channel and all that goes with it. I figure at two videos a week I should be good. But that requires a regular system of recording, editing, and presenting.
Health – Lifting, hiking, and dieting.
Money – Multiple income streams. I need my job currently to make ends meet but I need more streams of income to pay off debt and get my cabin in the woods eventually. Minimalism and being a Stoic NNV following Viking are my means to this end and the subject of my Youtube channel.
Love – I am not very good on my own. I need to fall in love again and have that woman in my life that makes me better. That said my system here is to simply be who I am and put that out there.
Family – need to come up with a system that improves my communication with my kids and keeps it more regular.

So there are a lot of habits and systems to create here. I need to overlap and build them into morning and evening routines and other systems. Things need to overlap and support each other.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Why I am Leaving Teaching for Good

January 5, 2023 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

I spent a lot of time during the Christmas Break pondering what I needed to do for the future. I had concluded that I needed to return to Michigan after year one in Texas but what about teaching itself. “Do I even like to teach anymore?” was the burning question this holiday season. The answer became ‘No.’ Slowly what has developed is a list of things of why, not only I need to go back home to Michigan, but also why I need to leave the profession of teaching far behind. In the end, I have a lot of personal, professional, and philosophical reasons to leave it behind and go do something else.

Personally, the list is pretty long. 1) This job triggers my high-functioning depression a lot. I do not enjoy life as a whole right now, and I am fighting through it and trying to get back to coping mechanisms that keep it from being overwhelming. 2) I don’t like Texas or Houston very much. It’s not the people, it’s the environment. 3) I am very alone here in this situation. My family support is very distant and that is my fault. 4) I don’t enjoy the job anymore. I don’t know how this happened, but right before the break I simply thought to myself ‘I don’t like this anymore, not any bit of it.” 5) I feel like I am back in the ministry emotionally and in my last year before I left that profession – and it has only been a year and a half. I am already struggling to keep going emotionally, and that is not a good sign. I don’t seem to have the ability to leave work at work with this one and that is not good for me personally. 6) The money is good, but if I am looking at the possibility of even retiring, I need to do better. Or do I need to simply go into business for myself? Lot questions here, the one positive I will be taking home from this raid into Texas is a lot of my debt will be paid off.

Professionally, There have been so many changes this year that have robbed me of what I enjoyed about the job. I liked the process of writing lessons and figuring out what to do each day, adjusting as I went. No, our team pretty much wrote everything out ahead of time and I feel like we are being forced into a style that does not fit me. I also was told by some that I wasn’t really teaching. What they meant was I was not teaching the way they were taught in school that teaching is. I find this narrow conception of what teaching is to be my largest issue with my colleagues who graduated with education degrees. I also feel the profession of education has too much about it like this.

Philosophically, I am way too libertarian for this job. Public education is all the things we libertarians say it is. Operant conditioning is bothersome at best to me. I now know why the media uses certain terms so much. It’s about conformity, not freedom. I actually find myself applauding my students who are rebels. I am also becoming more supportive of parents who decided on alternative forms of educating their children. This system is built by politicians and bureaucrats and it shows. The fact that one cannot be a teacher and be vocal about issues without the risk of losing one’s job is also bothersome. Time to leave as soon as practical.

So, the plan is to finish the year, pack my bags, and return to Michigan. I don’t as of yet what the future will hold. What do know is I need to get out of this place and profession. I need to return to my people and a place I love and enjoy and go from there.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Missing Interim

June 6, 2022 / Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

A recent comment got me thinking that I should provide a post with more details about the gap time between February 28, 2021, and May 2, 2022. A lot of things happened but If I were to highlight a few things they would concern my marriage, career, and living situation.

My marriage at the time of Feb 2021 was on the rocks. I was deeply dissatisfied that I wasn’t being supported in a good career move for myself but it involved moving from Michigan to Texas and my wife didn’t want to do that. It actually pointed to a greater problem that had been growing for years which basically was about priorities and emotional support.

Probably more basically, it was about the fact once the kids were gone my priority shifted to my marriage and my wife continued to remain with her kids and later grandkids. I felt I was slipping down her priority list to the point I was getting her leftover time. We had two different priorities and two different objectives. It was a problem compounded by trying on my part to get counseling but on the other hand, my wife did not want to go to counseling. I finally asked for a divorce in April 2021.

I actually waited a month to file and there was a clerical error so the hearing was delayed to September 21, 2021, a judge granted my petition and I became single again after 32 years. I won’t say I liked it, but at the same time, if I am going to be married to someone I expect the same level of priority I give them. Someone who will deal with our relationship issues and emotionally support me when I am having a rough time.

A result was a freedom to pursue something I had been working on since before COVID. Teaching certification in the state of Texas. I finished the basics and found a job at a large High school near Houston. I loaded up my Jeep Patriot with everything that I had and moved. It’s now one school year later and I love teaching. Hopefully, I will find a better subject than the one I now teach, but you have to pay your dues.

My living situation is often lonely right now as I come home to an empty apartment. I miss Michigan, but they didn’t have alternative teaching certification when I started. My best bet is to finish the certification process, finish my second year of teaching so my mentorship is finished, and then transfer back to Michigan.

The one thing that has improved for me is income and that has led to a lot of thinking as to how to use it. Mostly though I have more time to myself and that is a double-edged sword. But that is a post for a different day.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Using the Gods” – Sif’s Independence (Self-Reliance)

September 24, 2020September 24, 2020 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Vision Point: Be Debt Free by December 31, 2022.

Journal Entry:

In this reworking of my blog, I needed new subtitles for my entries; Foundational, Business and Self being used before. With the need for twelve of these things – one for each virtue – I decided to use the gods and goddesses of Norse mythology to set my posts off. You have already seen Tyr assocaited with Honor and now Self-Reliance is set off by Sif.

I chose Sif because nothing says self-reliance or independence quite like a person who has their own land and works it for themselves. Times may change, but the notion of owning that which brings independence remains the same.

As I redo these you will see which god or goddess gets assocaited with which virtue. Some you may guess easily, others might be more dififuclt.

Until next time.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Atheist Activism, Writing and Financial Peace” – The Rabyd Skald

September 21, 2020September 21, 2020 / Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

Most of the rest of my vision points have a lot to do with maintaining Youtube Channel, Writing for Publication and Financial Peace.

YouTube:

My YouTube channel – The Rabyd Atheist – has becoem my new pulpit. I am commited to Atheist activism and this is one avenue. Part of my vision points is to be a regular contributer to FFRF and The Clergy Project as well becasue they have done so much for me.

Writing:

My basical goal is to write boook for publicaiton and thus the 1000 words per day. This blog is more of a personal tool to keep me focused but it is a part practicing my craft as a wordsmith.

Financial:

20 years in a career that provided nothing for retirement would e a scary prospect for many and it is for me as well. The plan is simple to say. 1) Get out of debt, 2) Buy a small house with garage and 3 ) Invest as much as possible. I need a new career mostly for this reason.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Viking Philosophy – Part 4 – Be a Good Merchant” – The Pagan Pulpit

March 22, 2020April 6, 2020 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be (if any) either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here. We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it. Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it. Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: Trobar de Morte – ‘Summoning The Gods’

Meditation:

Text:

Sermon: ‘Viking Philosophy – Part 3 – Be a Good Merchant’

One of the unknown historical things about the Vikings is that they were good traders. Most see the Vikings as raiders but their main long term objective was trade routes. Now the Vikings if they seemed to have shortcoming militarily it was siege\ing cities so the better strategy was to threaten economic warfare but then offer trade as an alternative to war. Sometimes it was simple once the Vikings colonized they traded with the new colony. In any case, being a good merchant was part fo the game of being a Viking.

Finding Out What the Market Needs – selling means filling a need. You can try to sell ice and snow to Eskimos all you want but they don’t need them.
Do Not Promise What You Cannot Keep – No one will do business with a person who can not deliver on their promises. The great correcting force of the market is if you sell shit people will stop buying it and if you don’t deliver – same.
Do Not Demand Overpayment – Make sure your prices are affordable and you will get long term business.
Arrange Things So You Can Return – The long term is the focus in the end. Being able to do business and keep doing it repeatedly. This is why being honorable and truthful leads to self-reliance.

Parting Thought:

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“My YouTube Channel – The Rabyd Atheist” – The Rabyd Skald

January 18, 2020January 18, 2020 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

This last week I started a YouTube Channel as sort of a pulpit for my atheist activism. The Rabyd Atheist will be my platform for talking about my personal journey from faith to reason, my theological problems with faith and my critiques as a skeptic of the Bible. For you the readers of The Grey Wayfarer, I will be adding a post on Sif’s Day at 10 am with all the videos I posted that week. That way if you jsut want to wait until Sif’s day and watch them all, you can do so.

My main objectives for this Channel are talked about in my first three videos which I will provide the links below. I am currently still looking for my first subscribers so if you have a YouTube account and want to subscribe to my channel please do so. The first goal is to get monetized and I need 1000 subscribers to do that and people to watch about 4000 hours of content. Then I can apply to make some money.

Posting this to my personal accounts also helps keep people in my family and freinds list from being so alarmed as it is more neutral, but I haven’t been secretive about my atheistic paganism for some time. If you have been reading this blog you know.

The Rabyd Atheist – Introduction (first video)

Welcome to the Rabyd Atheist

My Deconversion Story

Hope you enjoy it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Crossing Off Another Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

I wasn’t really looking for a new support group per se. Being part of a group is something I have wanted for a while. I wasn’t sure what I wanted other than since departing from my church my social life has taken a major downturn but more importantly finding people to talk to who know what you have been through is very difficult when you are a former pastor and now confirmed atheist.

I talked about the Clergy project a few days ago and after joining I can say it is what I was looking for. It also has a few resources I need as far as a business – counseling to get my head on straight again and they have help in finding a good job so that might be useful. mostly though it is nice to at least forum talk to people who have been there.

The main thing is that I have a goal to cross off below. 4 down, 5 to go.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal: Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

I have started to realize that my nature to be an advocate for something might fit well with any not-for-profit that is about advocating for a political cause that involves freedom. It is along these lines that my new job and my principle might join together and it is those moments I love.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: ~~Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019~~ (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

I enjoy the people I work with now and the work isn’t that hard, to be honest. It is just, as I tried to explain to someone using football (American) as an analogy, my wife and I are in the mid-third quarter and down by 35. We need to engage some serious offense and flawless defense for the next 15-20 years or we are not going to win this retirement thing. I also would like a job I enjoy more. This one can be physically challenging at moments, but mentally I am bored out of my skull most days.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: ~~By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.~~ (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

The other nice thing about achieving this goal is that I will have some opportunities to take my experience and help someone else.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I can say one thing for sure. Justice would be best served on all those who wronged me if I was successful at transitioning and still had a great life. At that point, I could say – ‘fuck’em’ and move on. I guess I feel that this will be an issue with me for some time. Like some of them, in particular, the Dirty Pig, got the better of me until I become more prosperous and have moved on with something better. Then justice will at least be starting to turn its wheels for me.

Work Day Routine:

Morning Routine
Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
Writing: 2000 words/day.
Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I made some changes to the routine to reflect the goals: 2000 words of writing a day and 1/7th of a book a day to start training for the goals for next year and NaNoWriMo in a few days. November 1st I need to bear down and get going.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“An Important Singular Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

September 11, 2019September 11, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

As I look through all my goals, there is one of them that seems to rise to the top. A singular goal that is very important – finding a new and better paying job. This is the reason as a man in his late 40s I went back to school and got another degree. I now have that degree in hand but not a new job. Yet.

No matter how frustrated I get on this issue I attempt to move forward one step at a time. The most frustrating thing for me is landing an interview. Once that happens my odds go up tremendously because I can sell myself in person pretty well.

Once I have the new job a lot more things will open up for me. Other goals will be much more easy to attain. It comes down to putting the best effort I can toward this goal while at the same time keeping the identity of being a writer first and whatever second.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal: Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

‘By September 2019″ might be very difficult now. But it does show how frustrating this search has been and for how long – since January of this year I have been looking. I need to take my search nationwide at this point. I am willing to move anywhere at this point and I need this to happen as soon as possible. I might have to change this to March of 2020 but the goal is important so it needs to happen much sooner than that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: ~~Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019~~ (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

This goal was finished four months ago, but it stands as a reminder of two things – I can achieve goals I set for myself and that the clock is ticking for the job goal.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

One goal of many that require a new job and more importantly a new location. I just don’t feel very socially comfortable around my home town anymore. I trusted people here and in this area and when the chips were down, many of them disappeared ot stabbed me. I need a fresh start in some other place.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I need to shift in my mind, for peace of mind’s sake, from looking for justice for those that have wronged me. Might not happen for a while if ever. I need to be thinking of acting justly toward others that I am trying to form new relationships with. The problem is that I need then is to move and meet some new people to do this with. I just don’t trust anyone where I am anymore.

Work Day Routine:

Morning Routine
Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
Language Study: 15 min. on Latin
Reading – 1 chapter min.
Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

This a solid routine that gets me closer to all my goals. The writing should be longer each day as I embrace being a writer more and more. The issue with that is learning to take things one step at a time and be patient with it.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

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