Happy Mani’s Day!
A recent comment got me thinking that I should provide a post with more details about the gap time between February 28, 2021, and May 2, 2022. A lot of things happened but If I were to highlight a few things they would concern my marriage, career, and living situation.
My marriage at the time of Feb 2021 was on the rocks. I was deeply dissatisfied that I wasn’t being supported in a good career move for myself but it involved moving from Michigan to Texas and my wife didn’t want to do that. It actually pointed to a greater problem that had been growing for years which basically was about priorities and emotional support.
Probably more basically, it was about the fact once the kids were gone my priority shifted to my marriage and my wife continued to remain with her kids and later grandkids. I felt I was slipping down her priority list to the point I was getting her leftover time. We had two different priorities and two different objectives. It was a problem compounded by trying on my part to get counseling but on the other hand, my wife did not want to go to counseling. I finally asked for a divorce in April 2021.
I actually waited a month to file and there was a clerical error so the hearing was delayed to September 21, 2021, a judge granted my petition and I became single again after 32 years. I won’t say I liked it, but at the same time, if I am going to be married to someone I expect the same level of priority I give them. Someone who will deal with our relationship issues and emotionally support me when I am having a rough time.
A result was a freedom to pursue something I had been working on since before COVID. Teaching certification in the state of Texas. I finished the basics and found a job at a large High school near Houston. I loaded up my Jeep Patriot with everything that I had and moved. It’s now one school year later and I love teaching. Hopefully, I will find a better subject than the one I now teach, but you have to pay your dues.
My living situation is often lonely right now as I come home to an empty apartment. I miss Michigan, but they didn’t have alternative teaching certification when I started. My best bet is to finish the certification process, finish my second year of teaching so my mentorship is finished, and then transfer back to Michigan.
The one thing that has improved for me is income and that has led to a lot of thinking as to how to use it. Mostly though I have more time to myself and that is a double-edged sword. But that is a post for a different day.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
Skal!!!
The Grey Wayfarer 
Your situation sounds a lot like my first marriage; 20 years on and our goals were tectonic plates shifting apart – or maybe just become revealed. It doesn’t seem like 2 years, with long winter and spring breaks and then summer weeks, would have been such a hardship, but more of an adventure – but that’s just me. My view with my kids was that I was working myself out of a job. And one’s a cop so rarely available with night shifts and court days and two kids, one special needs; the other is busy with one of her own and 3 steps, all teenagers, so they’re a hot minute. Of course, I see them when I can, but they have their own schtick and (presumably) I have mine. I haven’t found that stride quite yet. Accepting that I’ll most likely be on my own the rest of my days has been a hurdle.
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