“The Nine Noble Virtues and Me” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Nine Noble Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

Given all the changes to my posting habits on this blog this necessitates a restart of my philosophical rotation but it is more than this as I am also rewriting the Nine Noble virtues by combining them with my principles.  The idea is to make the virtues more active and to streamline things from a simplicity perspective.

I think the whole idea of virtue, principles, goals and bucket list item is a little umbersome and as I get older simplicity is something I want and need for my life to be a smoother.

I am going to combine my virtues and principles and then havea goal with each one as before. But I am going to shorten my bucket list to five items and then act toward them.  When one gets accomplished one immediately takes its place.

In any case the Nine Noble Virutes are still important to me and central to my philosophy of life.  It’s what makes me a Pagan Atheist rather thna just an atheist.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

A man needs a code and the Nine Noble Virtues form that for me.  The only thing I am reacting to is my need ot make them more persoanl and a reflection of my values as well.

Wants (Freki):

I want them to be more active and less passive.  Virtue should call one to action.  Originally, I used my principles for this but now I see the need to write the Virutes more in my own words with my own principles entwined bringing activity to them.

Reason (Huginn):

Once I again I am engaging the one great trait of man that has led to our survival – reason.  Passion is great hen reasonably directed and the NNV give me that direction to my passions by bringing both them and my reason togather.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find a great deal of wisdom in having a framework for my decision making processes and overll life philosophy   The NNV have for the last two years provided that framework and I have enjoyed every single moment of wrestling with it and will continue to do so for many years to come.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

I have found that meditating on virtues in general have been beneficial over thse last two years by keeping me grounded in what is important.  Focus is key and the NNV have been that mental focus.

Mystery:

The NNV provide that guidance I need when the unknown happens or confronts me. It means a lot of decisions are based on character rather thna the feelings of the moment.

Spirituality:

If I have a spirituality as an Atheist, it is the NNV.  This is the spirituality of heritage and philosophy of life.

Conclusion:

Ove the next nine weeks i will be engaigng the process of combining my virutes and principles and giving each a goal. I will focus on my bucket list.  The key words are streamlining and simplification.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Combining Philosophy and Spirituality” – Of Wolves and Ravens

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

I wanted to free up a post to do some more fiction writing and felt that the best option each week was to combine Of Wolves and Ravens and Odin’s Eye. In large part, this also salves another problem which is that my spirituality as an atheist starts waxing more philosophical anyway.

Odin’s Eye was slowly running its course as post series in any case.  Now basically I will in addition to considering a philosophical element of my personal philosophy I will be looking at ist through ‘spiritual’ eyes as well. A merger which I think will make more sense overall.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

By doing this I address two needs and it works to unify my view of the world and life and general

Wants (Freki):

I want to write fiction again but I don’t want to add one more post a week.  This solves the problem quite well. Now Odin’s Day will be dedicated to new series which I am still thinking about but also my thoughts regarding philosophy and spirituality are merged.  This needs to happen and I want it to happen.

Reason (Huginn):

Rationally, I think the whole idea of spirituality needed to be merged.  I just don’t look at this in a spiritual way anymore. More like a ‘spiritual’ extension of my philosophy.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find wisdom in this simple fact, I will not be overextending myself at a time when I really cannot afford to do so. I have a lot to do in the coming months and this blog needs to be a part of it as far as stabilizing my thoughts not a burden of too much writing.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

For me, spirituality now consisted of meditating on my philosophy and seeing some intuitive applications. Reflecting on these meditations should prove beneficial.

Mystery:

Despite the fact that my philosophy tends to be more concrete in my mind.  There is still an element of mystery to life that must be considered in all things.

Spirituality:

All philosophy also has relationships with others which is also a form of spirituality to me these days.  So there are some spiritual aspects to consider.

Conclusion:

I am doing a complete restart on my philosophy and returning to side A because of this change.  I need to reconsider everything fro the top with this new mindset.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Spring Cleaning” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Minimalism

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

This spring I plan on doing some genuine spring cleaning as in – if I haven’t used it since I have been in the new apartment then I probably don’t need it. There are going to probably be some of those nostalgic exceptions but one of my side B philosophies is minimalism.  It really boils down to two things: 1) Do I need it, and does it give me joy.  These things mean I get rid of a lot of things.

The philosophy extends to a review of things like my routine as well.  Keeping those simple an streamlined is all part of minimalism as well.  Life gets complicated enough on its own without my own decisions adding to it. It is the two questions of whether I have need of something and whether it makes me happy are applied to everything.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

This is probably the one part of my philosophical outlook that directly looks at needs and wants.  Need being a true need for something.  This is true of routine, stuff or relationships. Do I genuinely need this?  If the answer is ‘yes’, it stays.

Wants (Freki):

The other question is: Does this give me joy or happiness? Is this something that I genuinely want and not some outside imposed want?  This keeps my wants in line and allows me to focus on what truly matters.

Reason (Huginn):

This is the reasonableness of minimalism.  It is probably the best thing I even embraced as far as keeping my time and money under control.  Probably though another layer is added with efficiency as far as economics but that is the subject of the next weeks ‘Of Wolves and Ravens’.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I have found great wisdom in the peace of mind that happens when the abundance on tuff is not central but rather having one’s money and time under complete control. It simply true wisdom that leads to more focus on what matters to me.

Conclusion:

This spring I will probably dedicate a couple days to going through everything. I have a couple day weekend with my wife gone for both says so that seems like a great time to go through everything again. Time to find peace in minimalistic simplicity

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Love Hurts” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Love

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

The one thing when you are young they never really seem to tell you is how much love hurts.  It almost seems like everyone else who has felt this simply waits until you experience love hurting before they talk to you about it.  It’s like you simply can’t relate or understand until it happens. They are probably right.

I never have felt something so wonderful as love and at the same time so devastating as when it is gone as love. I should probably clarify, what is devastating is loving someone else but them not feeling the same in return. The lack of reciprocity of love is the hard part and what makes it hard is your love for the other person is still there.  Full strength kick in the balls doesn’t; begin to describe the emotional pain here.

So why do we do it?  Because on the flip side, there is nothing that will make you motivated to move mountains and try to conquer the world for someone like love. The moments I have felt the best in my life have been when I have been in love and knew the other person loved me. But I now recognize this is not enough.  Love without honor, courage, and truth will fail too.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

My need is for love with all these qualities is pretty high.  I have very high expectations from love because it has taken me to great heights.  Perhaps I am being romantic about it but my need for love is the kind of love that is openly honest and takes risks because the reward for those risks is so high. The greatest risk I think at times is to love yourself but also the most needed.  It is the one need I feel is the most unmet in my life.

Wants (Freki):

I want to feel as good loving myself as I do when I love another. I don’t; recall this being a thing too often in my life. But when it has been there, I have been better than ever.  Add it to a time when I have loved another and those are the moments of my life so rare that count them as my greatest moments.

Reason (Huginn):

I suppose someone will call out the cold side of reason when it comes to love, but I don’t work that way. Considering love rationally, one needs to find those moments of a love of self and another to the point they happen more often.  Rationally these are the mountaintops of life.  I jsut have never been able to find them rationally.  I have to follow my instincts and my heart but I don’t trust people enough to do this.  I trust my instincts, it is just people who have a way of being unfaithful in the end that my instincts and empathy seem to miss.  I assume truth instead of lies.  I assume courage instead of cowardice. I assume honor instead of dishonor. It is these assumptions that have made me look like an ass more than once. No matter how rational I try to be, when I am in love and feel love, my brain takes a holiday and I assume the best and often get the worst.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I question my wisdom when it comes to love all the time. Give me a problem to solve and I am there in full force.  Give me a feeling like love to sort out and I find myself whimpering in the corner more often than not. Wisdom strives for balance and I can never seem to find it. io am all in or all out when it comes to love. There seem to be no in-between stages or degrees.  Love, therefore makes me a fool.  EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

Conclusion:

I wish I had something more positive to say.  I love to be in love but the downside causes me to shy away. To play it safe.  But that doesn’t; help me and it certainly leads to a life that hurts in other ways. I want to break this cycle.  I am just unsure as to how to do it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Religion, Sex, and Deconversion” – Freya’s Chambers – Sex

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

When I was a person of faith and religion, sex was an uncomfortable topic for me and those around me.  Mostly because there is this whole notion of sin that is injected into the picture. Plus there was a lot of shame associated with being found to have a sexual attitude that differed from the acceptable norm.  Certainly, my sexual education really didn’t have a chance to get anything factual unless it was by accident. Being the rebel I have always been when it comes to social mores, I found myself at odd on the subject of sex and nudity in the Christian context more than once. The real issue for Christians is keeping the desire for sex inside their so-called god-given boundaries. That being one man, one woman in marriage for life. This avoids the deadly sin of Lust.

When I realized that the whole sin thing was made up, this caused me to change my attitudes about sexuality quite a bit.  Mostly things get really basic as I think that the whole ideas of faith and religion actually complicate the matter of sex quite a bit. In religion, everyone argues nuances to see how far they can push their own sexual proclivities. The discussion, if it is had at all, is one of arguing small details of ‘how far is too far’.  I mean it really comes down to looking at each sexual issue and asking does the Bible or the religion allow it?  In my own faith, the issues of masturbation and whether in marriage oral sex, anal sex and BDSM were allowed. The one thing for sure was no one is allowed to think for themselves on the subject.

See the source image

This leads to all kinds of secret behavior that in many ways is far more erotic, unsafe and in many ways weirder than outside the church when it comes to sex. The most common being that religious teens are often told little about birth control if at all, but sooner or later the young couple gets alone and things happen. Unwanted teenage pregnancies anyone?  Not to mention that while abortions are opposed by Christians, the people who actually get them the most, probably because of the unwanted pregnancies, are Christians.

See the source image

If only birth control were taught in a proper manner, then fewer of these abortions would take place.  But that is the kind of logic that religion causes you to not even consider.  Sex before marriage is a sin and so is abortion.  You don’t need birth control because its a sin to have sex before your married and you will thus never need an abortion.  If only human behavior conformed so nicely into such black and white terms.

See the source image

This, of course, leads to the hypocrisy of the public maintenance of certain standards while at the same time privately not even at times being remotely close to those standards.  Divorce, infidelity, and abortion are higher among the religious than the irreligious and I understand now why.  There is an incredible power to guilt to keep control but at the same time, such guilt produces curiosity.

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I experienced this over and over myself as people would tell me such and such behavior was harmful and then I would start thinking about the behavior and why it was harmful.  Sooner or later I would engage the behavior and then discover it wasn’t that harmful – let’s just say if masturbation makes you blind, I should have been sightless a long time ago. If there is some physical malady that arises from watching or looking at porn, yeah, I would have that too.  So far all I could say was I developed a lot of guilt for nothing.

See the source image

Since deconverting, I have no hell to worry about, no wrath of a god that doesn’t exist.  The guilt aspect has diminished quite a bit.  Sex has become a part of life, nothing more or less.  Much more rationally approached.  I enjoy making love to my wife; we have a good time.  but, I don’t get guilty about it when I find myself sexually attracted to other females though – it’s normal.  What I do consider is consent, safety, and maturity which includes societal consequences.  In the case of my wife – fidelity as a virtue is actually much more important than it was as a believer.  Because I don’t assume it anymore and look at it as something to strengthen and improve because that is what you do with virtues.

See the source image

I personally am much more open to a polyamorous relationship, but my wife is not, so I honor that and respect it as long as we continue to choose to be together.  Because all those vows made before God, don’t mean shit to me anymore.  My religion was discarded a long time ago and with it the attitudes it has concerning sex and marriage.   What matters is fidelity and honor. For those, I stay true but rationally realistic about my own sexual desires.  I see religion colors the lenses so badly, it leads to more trouble than it is worth.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Aristotle’s First Principles” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Western Philosophy

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

In recent days, I have discovered that I enjoy all forms of ideas from philosophy.  I enjoy considering them anyway.  Western philosophy has more influence on people’s mindsets in the west than people know.  I recently came across Aristotle’s first principles in a YouTube Video I was looking at which I will provide below.

The idea of being able to categorize and break things down into basic or first principles is something I can definitely resonate with. I do this all the time with this blog’s journal posts where individual virtues are the First principles for me but then categorize them in Virtues relating to Love. Justice and Wisdom as well as Foundational, Business, and Self. This idea of breaking things down in their basic components was first introduced by Aristotle.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

Taking this idea to the subject of needs this allows one to break down one’s needs into the most basic components – food clothing, and shelter could be said to be the first principles of needs. But also you could say social contact, security, and standing.  Well-being is the main category of need, but it can definitely be broken down further and further.

Wants (Freki):

I think the basic thing in the area of want would be that if you want something the simple act of breaking things down step by step is what Aristotle brings to the table. No person who has a goal that requires effort has not done this. I think for me this is the essence of First principles not only in analyzing the world around me but also achieving that which I want to achieve often requires this ‘breaking things down’ into smaller bites to get them done.

Reason (Huginn):

I find Aristotle’s approach to be very reasonable because it isn’t purely mental gymnastics but also considers relationships and emotions.  It involves these things because they exist. It isn’t black and white thinking but more of a type of thinking that allows one to categorize the nuances of life to better understand them.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find this also leads to wisdom – that things once understood can be wisely engaged.

Conclusion:

This has been a couple weeks of thinking about this part of Western philosophy that I definitely engage and use but now understand better both why I do and what value it has. It is something to note.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Good, The Bad and The Grey” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 28

Happy Mani’s Day!

Introduction:

Yes, I know this is another week without a proper “Of Wolves and Ravens” post Yes, I also know this is two weeks in a row of “The Grey and The Wayfarer” after like a month and a half of nothing before that. Just imagine me like Odin sitting on my throne and brooding at the things that trigger my depression and realize that there are about three things right now that are doing it. My Ravens are tired of cawing in my ears and my wolves are hungry for relief which makes them irritable and aggressive, and that leads me to a situation where despite good things happening and bad things happening, I don’t give a shit either way.  That my friends is what ‘The Grey’ is in a nutshell and what it does to my life.

The Good:

A lot of good things have been happening:

  1. I got promoted at work and that translates into more responsibility, more hours and a pay raise which translates into more money.
  2. I am expecting my fifth grandchild and my second grandson and the first grandson with the Raby last name. Lucas Edward Raby will add another fine strong name to the family tree.
  3. Speaking of family trees, mine on ancestory.com is growing and I am getting it more and more fleshed out.  My roots are a tangled mess at times but I can’t say they are not strong ones.
  4. I have made a more final decision about my career long term and I think it is a solid and good one.

The Bad:

  1. My wife’s best friend was involved in a car accident that nearly killed her and has left her in a very critical state.  So much so this weekend my wife headed own to see her in the hospital. I didn’t have to work this weekend except for one day, but it meant I was home alone for a couple days with nothing really to do.
  2. Right now social media is risky, I keep seeing Miss Salty’s name not only in reactions to memories Facebook gives me, but also she is in the comments a lot. This, of course, gets me to thinking about her a lot more.
  3. The weather has turned grey with snow and cold.  I am so over it.  Ice in my veins and all, my joints don’t take the cold as well as they used to and the lack of sunshine depresses me.

The Grey:

  1. The temptation level to alleviate the stress of all this has not overwhelmed me but it has caused me to shell up.  I have to shut down my emotions right now a lot or my empathy and desires will get the best of me. My wolves don’t like this.  My ravens see it as a necessary evil.
  2. I miss having a person in my life who understands this as part fo who I am and my way of thinking/feeling and who could get through it and make me feel human again. I had that a couple years ago with Miss Salty and that thought bothers me too.  What was it about that trainwreck of a relationship that made The Grey seem so weak and distant?

Conclusion:

Whatever it was, it is gone now.  I am left like a brooding god sitting on his throne wishing he didn’t have the gift of foresight and could enjoy the good things that are happening more and could empathize about the bad.  I just can’t do either.  It hurts too much either way so I walk The Grey instead.  I can only hope this storm passes soon.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Taoism and Asatru Virtues” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Eastern Philosophy

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

Every time I address the subject of eastern philosophy, I keep coming back to Taoism.  Probably because of all of the eastern philosophical viewpoints, it has one of the easiest to understand main concepts – balance.  Keeping one’s life balanced is its central tenant and it is probably the main concept I borrow from in eastern philosophy.

When it comes to the pursuit of virtue. the issue is balance.  One could, for instance, become attached to Self-Reliance and Indsutriousness to the point one forgets Fidelity and Honor. The constant reminder of balance is why I have organized the virtues the way I have. This online journal The Grey Wayfarer is a mechanism that keeps me considering all the virtues rather than just focusing on a small group of them or even a single one.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

The need for balance is one the is illustrated in the Asatru Virtues.  One should work hard, but not dishonorably.  One should maintain relationships but not to the point of cowardice or the truth.  The need for balance is to remind one’s self that there is more to life than one aspect of it.

Wants (Freki):

I want this balance.  The reason should be obvious as my goals are attached to it and provide the highest sign of where I have been focusing my efforts and which virtues still need work.   The idea of balance makes sure I don’t get too caught up in one thing at the expense of another.

Reason (Huginn):

I have found this adds a new level of reasonableness to my path. An added layer of consideration that allows me to say – ‘hey your spending too much time thinking about this goal at the expense of others’.  I can also see here certain goals are not even being addressed and realize – ‘That’s an imbalance.  I need to do something about it.”

Wisdom (Muninn):

This leads to the practical – ‘it works’ sort of wisdom I find in considering am I being balanced. It leads me to understand that all the virtues are important for a wise life. No one of them should become so important to the neglect of others.

Conclusion:

Right now this simple discussion of Taoism and balance has caused me to realized that my time is being invested in an unbalanced manner because I am not following my routines as closely as I should. The routines are designed for me to make progress on all my goals. I need to make new efforts to keep them better.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Atheism and the Higher Virtues” – Of Wolves and Ravens – The Higher Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

Turning to the B Side of my philosophical discussions we hit the Higher Virtues.  Of Course, this is the first time I have really considered Love, Justice, and Faith as an atheist, but there are some important points to be made overall.  I know I will handle each of these separately in the coming weeks; so I am not so much interested in defining them as considering them as a whole.

The concept of higher unifying virtues is something I introduced later after embracing the nine Noble Virtues (NNV). The idea was to simply ask the question of does the NNV combine into others and what place did Love, Justice, and Wisdom have?  The end result was that Each corresponds to the three of the NNV closely but all the virtues play into Love, Justice, and Wisdom.

There is an intention here of the highest purpose.  I am not leaving my life to chance by following the higher virtues, but rather make each decision asking those three questions: Is this loving?  Is this just?  Is this wise? The morse specific analysis is achieved by looking at the NNV when the situation is not clear in an area. This has been a proven form for me.

Atheists look at the practical side of moral decisions far more than others. they have no higher power to please.  NO higher authority to appeal to; so every ethical and moral decision is made by a great deal of thought. The virtues, including the higher ones, guide this for me specifically.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

Virtue became a strong need for me after leaving my Christian faith.  I have no doubt that others would have just said ‘fuck it’ and do what they wanted.  But I know that survival and prosperity of life are never achieved by just saying ‘fuck it’.   Everyone needs a code to survive and prosper.  Following the higher virtues is about intention.

Wants (Freki):

Prosperity and survival are the end results of the following virtues as a general rule.  Something that all of us should want and strive for. Virtue leads to this end and the ideas of being a loving, just, and a wise person just make that all easier.  Definitely, something I want.

Reason (Huginn):

I came in large part to these conclusions because of rationally considering what needed to guide my life.  No gods, no masters; just my own wants and desires guided by reason and wisdom. This lines up very well with the atheist rationality I have decided is the best course for my life.

Wisdom (Muninn):

That said, wisdom reminds me that human beings have an emotional side to them,  These passions need wise guidance. They need to have some virtue guiding them or they lead our lives to lack intention and effort.

Conclusion:

As an atheist, the Higher virtues now mean more to me than ever.  It is the simple asking if any action is loving, just and wise that has led to some great decisions.  It has also allowed me to avoid some of the pitfalls of living this life.  My hope is that this path will lead to the prosperity and wise life I am looking for.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Fidelity, Atheism, and Asatru” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Fidelity

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

I always have a little twinge of guilt when I write about fidelity or loyalty.  I have had an affair.  I am not proud of it but it happened. I can’t say that all of it was bad either as the reasons I did it were real and in some ways could be justified as I felt at the time loyalty was harmful to me in a lot of ways.   My loyalty to my wife was harmful because it seemed to benefit her far more than it did me.  It led to a passive-aggressive relationship.  My sarcasm is usually playful but at the time with her, it could be biting and it was the same the other way.

As an atheist, fidelity has a give and take to it.  For a long time, I felt love was to sacrifice even to the point of being loyal to a fault.  If anything has changed it has the realization that the person I need to love the most and be loyal to the most is myself. I am all I really have no matter what others may do.  The blind loyalty expected of Christians I now see for what it is – the groundwork to use people for your own ends by playing on their loyalty.  Pride is removed in Christian loyalty which means you can make people do anything because they have no honor and no shame.

Fidelity under Asatru, however, is different.  It has honor as its foundation so no amount of loyalty should robe you of your pride.  If anything fidelity should either build your pride and thus lead to greater honor or it should cause you shame when you fail so you work to make it right and truly a two-way street. Above all, there is no demand to sacrifice your loyalty to yourself – ever.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

The need here for me was to change my expectations of loyalty to myself.  If there has been one struggle that is affecting all my relationships it is the fact that sometimes I have walked away because I still have my pride and I will not deal with people who do not respect it. I will not tolerate disloyalty, even from myself, and the challenge is to know when that is happening.

Wants (Freki):

What I want is to restore my sense of honor and loyalty to myself. I do not want compromise to the point where I am in any relationship that has all the benefits or even most of them are going one way – away from myself to the other person.  Mutually beneficial is what I am after here; where loyalty is the strength of those relationships.

Reason (Huginn):

The problem is I can usually rationally see what needs to be done in each relationship.  I have done the infamous INFJ door slam to several people but it takes a lot for me to get there. Mostly though I don’t want to cause pain to others because I get a feedback loop emotionally.  It’s kind fo bitch to know how far you can go before the negative emotions of others start to affect you emotionally.  Reasonably, I can see each relationship and know what to do or should do. It is the emotional lines in the sand I don’t want to cross that can get in the way.

Wisdom (Muninn):

The wisdom is never let loyalty to be slavery to the other person.  Someone who cares about you and is loyal to you will want you to be free and not want you to be their slave. If they cross that line too many times it might be time to let go – self-respect, honor, and fidelity to self are far more important than any relationship.

Conclusion:

Fidelity is important to me and mostly the shift caused by the crisis and becoming an atheist has been to be a person who is loyal first to himself and then everyone else.  My moral philosophy and my loyalty to it and myself are the central things in my life. Every other relationship needs to build that loyalty to myself or respect it, or I am going to have a problem with it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!