Month: January 2023

The Gym Life (Short Post)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

One of my goals yesterday was to set up a training regimen and in the end, I decided against it. The fact is that I now go to the gym, and think to myself – what haven’t I done in a while? This becomes the target and it also helps with the fact that it can be hard to always get the equipment you want with other people. So this sale that problem and I can either jump ahead or work on something I feel needs to be worked on more intensely. I have come a long way from needing every set and rep planned out like in the past. So, I guess the main thing is to show up and do some work.

To-Do List 1-30-23:

  1. I need to write a workout plan for a five-day rotation. I hope it gets warmer by March – walking. (repeat) – no plan but an overview of the process – this works better for now.
  2. Need to move forward with the apartment as much as possible – this goal is contingent on others’ actions so it might be her a while. – troubling – I have sent some emails but no response.

To-Do List: 1-31-23

  1. Keep checking on the apartment
  2. World Building for my fantasy serial. I can do this at work.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Trying New Things or Die

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

Morgan Freeman is one of my favorite people to listen to and quote at times. This idea of keeping learning new things or dying is very interesting. The idea of course is there is a great deal of difference between living your life and existing until you are dead. Living involves learning new things and pushing the next horizon – or does it.

I have been listening to a lot of Stoic philosophy and there is a lot of wisdom in being content in the moment. Of not striving for things that you cannot control. This notion of dealing with what you can control and what you cannot is ultimately left to contentment or even passiveness is a Stoic trait and one that is very helpful to me. It keeps me from worrying so much and much more focused on what needs to be done.

That said there are goals that need to be set each day. This is about controlling what I can control and what I need to control and the goals need to reflect that. I still desire to learn, so it’s not time to die yet.

To-Do List: 1-29-23:

  1. Go back to bed at 8am ( I am writing this at 5am) – this is the final effort to get some sleep at the right time. I did manage to shift my sleep pattern mostly. So goal achieved
  2. I need to write a workout plan for a five-day rotation. I really hope it gets warmer by March – I need to start walking again. – I literally forgot this one, but I did go to the gym. My employer has a long hour-long lunch so there are really no excuses for this one.

To-Do List 1-30-23:

  1. I need to write a workout plan for a five-day rotation. I really hope it gets warmer by March (repeat)
  2. Need to move forward with the apartment as much as possible – this goal is contingent on others’ actions so it might be her a while.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Fatigue and Sleep Pattern Changes

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

It was inevitable at some point that The Grey would make an appearance. This is what makes anyone who fights depression, win or lose, a little braver than most in my opinion. In my case the triggers are things like 1) returning to an old job and finding it feeling worse than it was before. 2) A nagging feeling of being a failure in teaching, even though I left for some very good reasons. 3) After visiting the apartment I had in mind, I now have some misgivings.

The misgivings about the apartment are the fact I will be dealing with some very religious folks who are the caretaker as they are a pastor and his wife. They were also people I knew by reputation when I was a pastor. The worst kind of fundamentalists in my opinion. Nice people but the world is one way to them to the point they can’t see other possibilities. The apartment is also bigger than I wanted. It could be a two bedroom with how big the living area is and with two big bay windows to cover heating is going to be murder. . If I have to pay the utilities for this, the expenses are going to be larger than I want. The real problem though is finding a place to live in this market. So I think this is the first feeling of a setback I have had since coming home to Michigan. That said, I might still take it because a lot of other plans depend on having my own space. It’s the weighing of options that is depressing me because I could live in a tent for a lot cheaper but it is too cold for that in Michigan right now.

Combine this with moving back to the third shift and the problems of switching to that sleep pattern and I am having some depression – yep. I am tired a lot more than I expected. I don’t need a lot of sleep but its shifting patterns mean sleep comes in short three-hour bursts at times. Not good.

So need to find new solutions and that means pulling my coat around myself a little tighter and pushing through and finding a way.

To-Do List 1-28-23:

  1. Visit to see my possible new apartment. – I have my misgivings if this is going to be a good solution.
  2. Generate novel ideas – brainstorm – only one novel idea comes to the surface and it involves a modern fantasy. It also involves being very adult. It also involves expressing feelings long buried, but I think it is time.
  3. List for YouTube Channel construction. – I have my list now it is time to execute. I have set my start date back because of my job to next weekend Feb 4th. Need to write an opening video outline at some point. I also need to find where I am going to record. The apartment thing had been my answer to this, but now I need something different.

To-Do List: 1-29-23:

  1. Go back to bed at 8am ( I am writing this at 5am) – this is the final effort to get some sleep at the right time.
  2. I need to write a workout plan for a five-day rotation. I really hope it gets warmer by March – I need to start walking again.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

My Serial Idea – Returning to My Dungeons & Dragons Roots.

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Sif’s Day!

In writing a new serial I was struck by the need to do two things: 1) I want to create and develop new characters and have a sort of revolving cast to try new character ideas, and 2) To have a system of randomness that forces me to explore things that I would not usually explore. Enter an old friend in gaming – Dungeons and Dragons.

There are so many things to do in D&D these days compared to where we used to be when I was first introduced to the game in the early 80s. Back then we were using the 2nd edition with its iconic covers. I found myself fighting a solo campaign with a friend because the two of us were the only two people who liked to play at the time. W didn’t have the internet so meeting personally was the only way to play and few people back then wanted to join because D&D was ‘evil’ according to the preachers. I have discovered that, for mysterious reasons, anything that young people enjoy that becomes popular quickly becomes evil if it takes away from devotion to the church and said, preachers. They don’t like competition.

Over the years, after that, I had mixed results with playing with groups and in some senses shelved my involvement in the game because it was so hard to get a group together. Fast forward to a few years ago and with the internet, it is now completely possible to be part of a group every week that is scattered across the globe. I have regained my interest in Dungeons and Dragons and fifth Edition, while more basic than 3.5 has my interest because it is what everyone plays right now.

But there is also another reason, the materials available are so widespread now and most notably there are so many solo systems out there. It’s not that I don’t want to also play with a group on one of the platforms for doing so, it’s the writing possibilities with a solo play that intrigues me right now. Mostly the idea I can create characters and have random things happen, like real life, and those characters have to deal with them. It provides a writer’s wet dream in a sense when sometimes you get a block. Using this – I roll the dice and deal with it.

My plan is to create a party of one character, play for a little while then add another character and keep going for a while and maybe add another one or two characters. The choices here will be based on what is best for the story. I will even kill characters if I feel that it’s needed for the story. At the same time, I am going to be playing a game I enjoy for inspiration. I am not sure when this will full on begin, but I am ordering a solo system soon and the main thing, for now, is to design a good first character. A class that can survive on its own fairly well. That’s all for now, but I would be interested in what you think.

To-Do List 1-27-23:

  1. Work on the fantasy serial for the blog. – you can see the results today of what I worked on.
  2. Relax – need this as switching shifts has taken a lot out of me today. – done.

To-Do List 1-28-23:

  1. Visit to see my possible new apartment.
  2. Generate novel ideas – brainstorm
  3. List for YouTube Channel construction.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Just a Short Check In

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Freya’s Day!

I moved to the third shift last night so morning and evening have new meanings to me. So today is more for me looking at my To-Do lists and seeing where I am, Hopefully, very soon I can settle into my routines.

To-Do List 1-26-23:

  1. Go through the back of my car and organize things and get it so my daily stuff is more usable. – done
  2. Look for apartments closer to work – options needed – done – nothing really closer to work and if there is it is much more expensive than my current option.
  3. Look at needed routines and systems for my life.- preliminaries are done, but I really need to move into a new place before I finalize things.

To-Do List 1-27-23:

  1. Work on the fantasy serial for the blog.
  2. Relax – need this as switching shifts has taken a lot out of me today.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Creative Writing Plans

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

I spent a few hours outlining my plan for a new YouTube Channel and now my thoughts turn toward the writing part of my life. There has been a long-running debate in my head about what type of writing I would like to do. I find the most relief and escape in writing fiction, in particular, fantasy, urban fantasy, and science fiction. That said I also feel at times that a non-fiction book would be the best.

I think creative writing is where I will end up going. Mostly in the idea that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Most of my favorite authors are fiction writers who through telling stories made people think. This is my goal as well and to do that I need to focus on something I don’t often do which is the theme. That said, I think the great problem with today is that people spend so much time trying to make a point they forget to write a good story.

So write to make money by writing something entertaining and at the same time – as a good storyteller does – make a point. That’s the goal.

My future plans involve creative writing:

  1. I will be doing some of that on this blog. I have an idea for another serial but it may take some time to set up – world-building and character creation and all that. This one will be a full-on fantasy story.
  2. Short Stories – I find this works best with some genres for me. Some genres just lend themselves best to short stories. Some I might publish here, and others I will collect for publication.
  3. My Novel – I actually have written a novel already but I wouldn’t publish it as it is pretty bad. But I learned a lot from that experience and it’s that most novel writing is getting things on digital paper and editing. Planning the plot ahead of time is going to be the necessary element this time so the story flows better.

There are many other things but I have to have an eclectic mix to keep from getting bored at the same time progress and variety need to be there.

To-Do List 1-25-23:

  1. Apply for the apartment I found and search for more.- done. I need to see if this is going to be a good option
  2. Orientation at my Job. – done. I start tonight on the third shift so shifting my sleep pattern will be the priority through the weekend.
  3. YouTube Channel Designing.- done. My target date for launch is Feb 1st.

To-Do List 1-26-23:

  1. Go through the back of my car and organize things and get it so my daily stuff is more usable.
  2. Look for apartments closer to work – options needed
  3. Look at needed routines and systems for my life.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Some Days Are Better Than Others

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

Mindset is very important. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. This issue is to make progress. For me, this has been a very important thing because high-function depression – The Grey – is going to surface at some point and you still want to make progress.

I am going to say at the outset the best advice I have received in the last month was to shorten my To-Do List and make it at the most three things. This really makes it much easier to go forward and get things done. It simply isn’t as daunting as say a list of ten things. So how did I do yesterday?

Store my belongings someplace safe – My car is still full of stuff and I need to deal with it. – Got things put away at family members’ house – I still have to go through the stuff left in my care and organize it so I both reduce it and it takes up less space, but the main task is done.

Apply for the apartment I found. – I downloaded the application and partially filled it out. I am having a debate about this issue as to where my new job is and whether or not I want to live close to family or the job. The apartment I found is close to my family but would involve a drive to work. I also have a habit of just taking the first thing offered which has made me miss other things. The thing is I might not get it anyway so I probably should apply today to get it done. See what happens after that.

Go to the gym and get a good workout in – done good workout.

The point I am going to make is to look at how much of the list got done. Two out of three and the third has some genuine considerations about it to cause a delay. It also serves as an example of what happens when something isn’t done. It goes back on the list for the next day. It also gets a special not to either do it or have a good reason to take it off the list.

To-Do List 1-24-23:

  1. Store my belongings someplace safe – My car is still full of stuff and I need to deal with it. – finished
  2. Apply for the apartment I found. – partially with new considerations.
  3. Go to the gym and get a good workout in. – finished.

To-Do List 1-25-23:

  1. Apply for the apartment I found and search for more.
  2. Orientation at my Job.
  3. YouTube Channel Designing.

I am going to be working on routines and systems I can do given the current situation. I also will not comment so much on my To-Do List as I did today as I have other things to do and write (including some fiction), but I like how simple this is and it makes some days better than others by getting things done.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Future

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

According to Norse Mythology Odin sacrificed one of his eyes to see the future. Right now my future is uncertain and would probably do the same to get some form of clarity as to what the future holds for me. That said I do not subscribe to the idea of a fate that is inescapable. More of a Stoic notion of fate where fate is more of what you can’t control in life and my attitude and actions in response or being proactive against what I know is coming is more the thing for me. The tapestry of fate has many weavers, but I weave my thread within it according to my decisions and actions.

There are many things I ponder as I look to the future. Currently, I am technically homeless living with my son and his significant other. I have a place to sleep and work on myself and I am content with this. I have some leads in the housing situation but I feel that takes time.

I do have a job that starts tomorrow so that is progress of a sort. I need to keep my eyes open for more opportunities but then again, I have other projects in the fire so a simple job of 32-40 hours is a welcome relief and allows me some time to pursue them. The real trick with Stoic philosophy is to enjoy where you are now and be present in the now. Learning to be ready to act in the moment is a big thing for me now and I make my plans accordingly.

What I now focus on is finding a way to make money doing things I enjoy and have alternative streams of income (passive if possible) that allow me to get closer to being more secure financially without being burdened with doing something I dislike. The job I now have will be a good base, I need to expand with a few things to make the situation better.

I had some success as a YouTuber, but I feel the focus of my channel was too niche at the time. I want to create something where I can educate and engage in my interests at the same time this time. Yeah, I am going back into that arena and I hope I can monetize it this time. But the work now is in the concept stage and I hope to launch on February 1st.

The other possibility is writing. I like writing and being a writer but I think I need to get my priorities straight about it. I need to write with selling it in mind. I can still write what I want but editing has to be more along the lines of what will sell to the public. What will they pay for? I am still in a meditative state on this trying to figure it out.

So now for the new part:

To-Do List 1-24-23:

  1. Store my belongings someplace safe – My car is still full of stuff and I need to deal with it.
  2. Apply for the apartment I found.
  3. Go to the gym and get a good workout in.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Finally Home (This Blog’s Future)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

I have been out for a while but that is been because I have been moving from Texas to Michigan and that has occupied most of my time. I made the long drive back home over Freya’s Day and Sif’s Day (Friday and Saturday). I pretty much had to deal with things like being in my son’s house the last couple of days, so finally, here I am with enough time to write and a good wifi connection to do so. Odin’s avatar has returned to the north and planted his feet in the snow (literally). Now I need to discuss the future of this blog.

I have long had a problem with trying to journal offline. The Grey Wayfarer has been that for me on many occasions. I am not much of a secret thoughts journal person. But here there is the additional problem of inspiration. Sticking with it and doing boring things to get good results has been my problem. I have looking for ways to be a person who journals because I know that leads to better results as a person. The facts are pretty clear on this. Then I did a simple search of how to be more effective at journaling and got some good ideas. The ones I think I am going to implement here are: 1) Write what you think/feel that day. 2) Find the best time to journal for you. 3) You need some things that are consistent but don’t make a huge to-do list. A short that is actually finished is better than a long list where you don’t do much.

How does this affect this blog?

  1. I am not going to have a set list of what I a going to write that day. I am going to try to write each day, but what I write will, for the most part, be varied except for what I am going to talk about in a minute that will appear at the end of every blog. But it might be a poem, a part of a short story, or just some thoughts about a certain subject. But it will be what is on my mind instead of trying to force a certain schedule.
  2. My best time to journal is actually right away in the morning. The first thing I do that day tends to be the best thing. It also is important for another reason.
  3. I think my problem with my to-do list is that I always make it too long. I think it is probably going to make it better if I focus on 2-3 things and make sure they get done than any other way. For this blog, it means that at the end of each article for the day I will post the To-Do List from the previous day to see how I did, but then make the one for that day as well.

I hope this makes this journal more effective at the one thing I need the most, establishing a sense of purpose for myself, and chronicling my journey as The Grey Wayfarer.

Thanks to all of you that follow me through thick and thin. You keep me hopeful.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Game of Life – Retiring to Become a Philosopher.

/ Ed Raby Sr / 3 Comments

Happy Odin’s Day!!!

When I was a kid I played many games and still do. Until I got older and was introduced to strategy and RPG games, one of my favorites was The Game of Life. One thing I remember distinctly about the version we had was there was the millionaire mansion side if you won. Everyone else who lost got to retire to a small cottage and became a philosopher. There is an emphasis on the accumulation of wealth in The Game of Life and at that time it was a simple assumption that the person who had the most won (or you could put everything you owned on two numbers and won if you spun them) and the losers were the ones who ‘retired as a Philosopher. When I was a kid, I thought this was sensible.

Now, I long to be a retired philosopher. Too bad being a philosopher doesn’t pay so well. But that is now my dream job. Just sitting in your house and thinking has a strange appeal to me right now. I made a mistake coming to Texas and trying to be a Public School Teacher. It’s not the kind of mistake you know it’s a mistake before you get there, but more in retrospect.

So what to do from here for my 53 year-old ass? I am not sure. But prehaps there is a way to find the path. Be the philosopher while doing something else. Or maybe I will just have to put everything I got on two numbers ans spin the wheel.

The one thing I know for sure is that all should be doen with my own happiness and well being in mind.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!