“Changes and the Facebook Block” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Thor’s Day!

As you have probably guessed I am not writing every day. Mostly, I am still trying to get a sense of what I am trying to do at this point with this blog. Some changes I am thinking about:

  1. My Journal Posts need to be shorter so I will be breaking them down to dealing with a single virtue each. The Nine Noble Virtues and the Three Higher Virtues make 12 total and so three virtues a week adds up to four weeks.
  2. The nature of the thise journal posts will also change as I will be dealing with a single virtue alone. I am eliminating the idea of a principle as unnecessary baggage. I also am combining the notion of a goal and a bucket list item with each virtue as well. I am going to call these Vision Points instead . They still are goals / bucket list type things. The difference by doing this I will be eliminating about 6 things to focus un and reducing the list to twelve. A much more managable list. As I age, the idea that my irons in the fire need to be very specific becomes more important.
  3. Other posts will be new in many ways and I am still in the creative process of those. I am going to do some fiction writing in all that but also make the others simpler as well.
  4. The main issue is no post (other than my fiction posts) should be longer than 500 words.
  5. I am probably going to archive all the other pages under the page heading Archives. Time for a fresh page start with a new file cabnebt so to speak so don;t be allarmed if all the pages at the top ‘disappear’. The aill simply be all under the title “Archives’. There will be some exceptions most notably “The Rabyd Skald’ posts.

I want to take a moment to address those of you that may have followed me on Facebook. I recently discoverd this blog cannot post to Facebook because someone reported it as abusive. I don’t how and no explaination was given to me. I wasn’t even made aware until I tried to share my last post to Facebook and it wouldn’t let me. I am going to explore some options. It might be beneficial for my author page to go private so I can post these there again. I am not sure.

In any case, I apologize to those of you that now have to subscribe via email or directly through WordPress now to follow me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Rogue Wizard Delay and Other Notes” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 23

Happy Sols’ Day!

Rogue Wizard Delay:

No, it is not an accident there is a delay in the next chapter of Rogue Wizard and this is a The Grey and The Wayfarer post for The Rabyd Skald.  It’s connected to the fact that the more I think about writing this next chapter, the more the Grey seems to hit me.  It seems to be one of those moments where I have a choice about facing the Grey and walking through it – it needs to be done.  But when I do this is up to me.

Writing is therapy for me, as many of you know.  Sometimes it is unpleasant and has to be done. Other times it flows.  I this case I know what I want to do and what should be done and they are the same. The problem is the process of writing is going to be an emotional roller coaster. So I am having trouble,  but I will have it done by next week but not this week. Apologies.

Support Group:

My support group is working out very well. I mean it is great to have fellow former clergy to talk to who are also non-believers in anything.  It makes everyone relatable and a lot of them have been through the process and at a later age than me so they help out a lot in keeping my feet on the ground and standing.

My Therapist: 

My therapist and I have had two sessions.  Doing it on Skype allows me to see her and she can see me so it gives me a genuine reactions both ways.  She is a good listener and hasn’t been judgmental at all.  Mostly though she has listened to me and thinks that next session we can start working on a plan.  The main two issues I deal with on this level are my change of identity and my marriage.

Job Coach: 

Through The Clergy Project, I also have job help for my career change.  I decided that even though I could use a new job soon to go more organic and find what fits me as well.  I don’t want to be doing a job I hate just to pay the bills anymore. So what do I enjoy and can make money at the same time is a journey of discovery and my job coach is taking me on and she is really thinking January or February which still is within my goal of having this done by March.

Reading List:

I was reminded by my wife that there are many books on my shelf that I have not read and should read them. So new books only when needed to keep the pattern of a non-fiction book; then a fiction book.  I haven’t been doing well on this yet, but I have started. Mostly though it is going to be a process of going through my library and pulling out things I haven’t read and putting them together to work through the rest of this year and next.

Writing Books:

I have come to the conclusion that I need to do my book writing like I do this blog.  I need about 3-5 projects at once and rotate them so boredom does not set in. Basically, I have three non-fiction books and two fiction in the hopper now.  I try to make progress on one or more every day.  It is the word count that matters.

Final Word:

Thanks for everyone’s patience.  My emotions tend to dominate my writing more than other things in my life. I have been able to be consistent on this blog, but other things need consistency too. Thanks for reading.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Blog Housekeeping” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

I need to make some changes so this post is more ‘by the way of announcement’ than anything else. Freya’s Chambers will return next week.  My motivation is partly to make the time it takes to write this blog more uniform every day.  This will open up time for my other writing projects that I need to get busy on.  Mostly it is Mani’s Day, Woden’s Day and Frigg and Freya’s day that get crowded with double posts and I need to cut that down from three days to one.  The idea is to get back to the one post a day format as much as possible.  So the Weekly schedule is going to look something like this.

Sol’s Day: The Pagan Pulpit, Rogue Wizard

Mani’s Day: Of Wolves and Ravens

Tyr’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

 Woden’s Day: Odin’s Eye

Thor’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Frigg and Freya’s Day: Freya’s Chambers

Sif’s Day: Space Tramp, A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

This schedule gets me back to the daily blog routine I want which is: 1) File Yesterdays post, 2) Edit Today’s post, 3) Write tomorrow’s post, 4) Create a template for the post two days out and 5) Write a ficitonal post on my days off which I usually have two a week. I enjoy writing the ficitonal posts and I want to feature them on the weekend.

Right now this is about creating time for National Novel Writing Month which I am using to write a Non-fiction book at 2000 words a day but that habit of 2000 words a day needs to continue into the future as a writer. That means some changes to the bog to make the time spent consistently around and hour.

All the posts will drop at 4 pm except the fiction post appearing on Sif’s Day and The Pagan Pulpit which will drop at 10 am on the weekends.  From the standpoint of A Skald’s Life, my journal posts, this will also provide Sif’s Day being sort of a weekly recap.

This new schedule will begin on November 4 with Of Wolves and Ravens for that day.  This weekend will be another The Rabyd Skald tomorrow for the purpose of working on my booklist for the remainder of this year and the Pagan Pulpit will be Sol’s Day.  After that, the new schedule begins.

The Rabyd Skald Posts will, of course, be the rogue posts of this blog.  Appearing when they appear as needed.

Once again, to all that read my journey put in blog form, thank you. Writing this blog has mostly been about sorting out my personal issues, but the fact that some of you take the time to read me, like the posts, and comment on some of them is truly appreciated.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Blog Change I Have Been Meaning to Make” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Thor’s Day

Hey, it’s been a while since I did a regular The Rabyd Skald post.  Unfortunately, the time of year is difficult so mostly it is The Grey and The Wayfarer when I do one of these.  But today if you are a regular you noticed that no post dropped at 9 am and that was no accident.  This a change I have been wanting to make which is to start dropping posts in the afternoon.

There many reasons for this:

  1. I often find myself rushing as I get ready to be at work and sometimes a post just needs a little more loving care before it drops, but I skip it so I can go to work and just let it drop. This will allow me time to do a little love editing on each of my children known as posts, and then they will be a little cleaner and better.
  2. Traffic for my posts is actually statistically better for posts I drop in the afternoon instead of the morning. I get more engagements at least.
  3. I would feel better if I gave every post one last look right before it drops which given my work schedule, the afternoon is the beat time to do this.

So starting today with this post, my posts will drop at 4 pm. The one exception is on Sun’s Day which will still be The Pagan Pulpit at 10 am.   The reason for that is personal – I used to start the service and preach in my former church at 10 am.  So I preach from a little different pulpit these days at the same time.  For you pagans out there that used to be Christians, it is probably better understood.  Kind of a middle finger to my former ‘friends’ of that church. Image may contain: 1 person, beard, text that says 'You don t lose friends. You lose undercover haters. Real friends can never be lost.' Fuck You Haters!!!

Other Writing Notes:

I know I have promised this before but more fiction posts are coming. The Rogue Wizard has been difficult to write at this moment for personal reasons as well. I am thinking it will be better after the summer is over or the next chapter is finished.  In that chapter I essentially destroying most of the visages of what was the past in that series idea and moving on.  It is hard to do from an emotional point of view.  Try destroying something you put a lot of love into so you can move on, and then tell me something about it.  Until then you don’t have a clue.

When I do start my short story writing I will probably be doing alternative and very adult versions of Grimm’s Fairy tales.  Poetry has been rough or the same reason as The Rogue Wizard.  Poems are very emotional for me and have an automatic connection with someone that I can no longer have contact with but the memories of them surface for me every time I write a poem. Fall I might be able to muster something.

I have another post I want to write about using Role Playing Games as an inspiration but I might do a series very similar or The Adventures of Ayn Jones.  Something I did a long time ago taking the character creation process of a Megatraveler Character and bringing it to life with a very complete backstory.  I might very well use Megatraveller again to do this because it is Science Fiction.

Well, that is all the writing notes for now.  Don’t be surprised if another The Grey and The Wayfarer drops soon.  When The Grey builds to a point I have to write about it to deal with it.

One last note, there will be no Odin’s Eye today.  I have a lot of refitting and resting to do before the next couple of weeks.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Working” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

For some people, work seems to be a dirty word.  As much as I can complain about work and at the end of the day, I am happy and ready to go home, I take a lot of ownership in what I do. There is a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day so that is something to draw honor from.

There is also a sense that I am always working which comes from following the Virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality. In a very real way, they become part of this lifestyle of working to build my life into something free, productive and compassionate. Working to have those things that make life have value.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

I don’t mind my job right now I just know that if my wife and I are going to have self-reliance in the future, it needs to change into something that is more personally fulfilling to me and quite frankly of a higher income. Getting debt free and building what we need to be independent is a central thing with me so finding a new job that does that is central to my focus right now.  The ultimate goal is to work for myself.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

I have decided that the nine goals I set every year will not be renewed until March of each year.  I will just strikethrough the goals on the blog until then.  The idea then for goals is to set nine one year goals each year and work to achieve them.

The novel is started and I am enjoying it so far.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I am not sure about the goal here.  I guess if I am looking at it from a hospitality point of view in the context of Asatru it might be to join a Kindred.  That said I might achieve the same result from just creating a group to play Dungeons and Dragons. Once I know where my career is going a little better, then I might be able to know more about what I can do.  Owning a small home that is isolated and provides a private meditative environment is still on my bucket list.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Justice seems to be more and more about living as a just person to me.  It perhaps is perhaps this idea of living justly that is giving me a lot more peace with things these days.

Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

So far so good this week.  The real issue is as I expected which is my own level of discipline,

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Prepared” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In my mind, one should always be prepared for a fight, but at the same time, hope one does not actually have to fight.  It is this be prepared for war, but enjoy the peace attitude that resonates in my soul when I see the sayings of warriors.  It is about being in a position of strength or power over the situation so you can steer it toward a peaceful end.  No matter what chaos may be around you; you are calm and prepared for the fight, but also work so that a fight never comes.

For me, this preparation starts with mindset. It here that all the virtues shine pretty brightly, but none brighter than Honor, Courage and Truth.  Honor, because without self-worth and a sense of inner value one does not have the basic foundation from which to fight.  Courage is the will to fight.  Truth is the reason to fight. The three of them represent my axe, my sword, and my spear.

This week I will be using my journal posts to check in on goals and my bucket list.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

When this post drops today, it will be day number 246 for The Grey Wayfarer. There are 119 left for the year cycle to be complete.  Next week I am going on a mini vacation with the wife for our anniversary so I need to use this week to write ahead a little bit so I don’t have to do very much writing on my vacation.

My hike remains a goal.  If I end up moving to another state, I will still have the goal of returning to the Upper Peninsula and doing the hike.  I really haven’t set a deadline on this and probably won’t until I have a better job from a financial point of view so I have some additional income to set aside for the hiking equipment I need.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

I have a few bucket list items in sight and so one should meet this requirement goal requirement very soon. Budapest still remains as a bucket list item.  One of those long term things that I know will probably mark a different point in my life.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I started my non-fiction book but the basic way I write is that I focus on what I feel the inspiration to write on at the time.  So my novel has been getting the majority of the time but I do poke at this book a little. I need to probably put a little more effort into it.  Probably the best way to approach the non-fiction book and the novel is to make sure of the three days a week dedicated to writing at least one day gets dedicated to each and then have one flex day to work on what I feel inspired to work on.

Latin has been on the table a bit lately. I am trying to finish some other work first.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love is at times far to complicated a virtue for me and other times it is clear and simple.  I simply don’t want to be without it in my life.  I draw a lot of strength from it and motivation.  I just wish it didn’t make you so vulnerable and thus hurt so much when it is cut off from you.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

This week is all about the Routine. The morning routine is pretty solid but I want it all seven days complete this week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Grey Wayfarer’s Creative Writing Rotation” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

In this post, I want to lay out more specifically the rotation for my fiction writing regarding this blog in particular. My current work on my novel is something I will keep quiet and separate for obvious reasons, but this stuff is public and more about practice in writing than anything else.  I also have found some inspiration for other things.

The reason I write fiction is basically, it is far more therapeutic that even journaling. I tend to daydream a lot and writing fiction is what brings those dreams to life to a certain extent.  It is the first step in seeing what is my head becoming tangible.  In this process, I find a lot of peace and joy.  It has long been one of my main defenses against the Grey.

This blog has two canonized Serials: Rogue Wizard and The Grey Wayfarer Serial. I am not sure about the second, but the first is experiencing a renaissance in my mind.  It might take a bit to get this pattern rolling but Rogue Wizard will definitely be a part of it.  As for the Grey Wayfayer, I feel this is good but it is very hard to write because I focus on the quality of it so much. I probably just need to stop overthinking it.

There is a place for both short stories and poems her as well, I just have never really put much thought into what to write.  There are four canonized poems here so far and I have a few others floating in my head. Short stories are a little hard for me as I like details and longer story arcs but one thing I think would be a good exercise is to take fairy tales of old and give them a modern feel and perhaps take their lessons and modernize them.  Making children’s stories into adult stories is a fascination for me.

My daily blogging routine goes something like this.

  1. Review and place yesterday’s post(s) on a page
  2. Review today’s post(s) and give it a final edit
  3. Write and edit tomorrows post(s)
  4. Create the ‘bones’ for the post or posts to appear in two days – basically, outline and hunt down the featured image for it.
  5. Give 30 minutes to writing extras like The Rabyd Skald posts or creative writing

People ask me how long it takes to do this and it really depends on the writing and editing of tomorrow post. But I get up a 1 am usually for work and fit it all in before I leave for work at 2:45 am. This includes my morning routine first before blogging. Sometimes I have to spend the half-hour creative writing after I get home from work but for the most part, the regular blogging gets done in a little more than an hour.

I have been blogging so long I have learned the value of set form and rotation. I have also learned the value of keeping a notebook so I write thoughts and ideas down when I have them.  The outline of each post has been running in my head for a while before I actually sit down to write so they often write themselves.

What I need is a rotation of creative writing for the blog so that half hour stays on point and starts accomplishing something.  Firstly I think what should happen is that Rogue Wizard will be every other creative writing post.  I like this series and my ideas already have my alter ego well into spring. So what remains is the other stuff.

Proposed Rotation:

  1. Rogue Wizard
  2. A Poem
  3. Rogue Wizard
  4. The Grey Wayfarer (serial)
  5. Rogue Wizard
  6. Short Story
  7. Rogue Wizard
  8. Other series

Yes, I do have in mind another series, I am just not sure what yet.  Perhaps a Retelling of fairy tales with my style and adult viewpoint.  I have some time to think about it. That is the other thing.  I am setting a time limit for these creative writing posts to 2 or 3 days.  Two days for the poem and short story ones and three days for Rogue and the other two series.  This should keep me moving.

Don’t worry about my novel or my other book. I find myself using the extra time I have to work on both of them far more than scheduled at times. I am enjoying the novel in particular as right now it is all about world and character development. I just want to have some sense of order here so I get some creative writing practice with this stuff. Who knows, maybe it will become something that is more than that.

One more thing, I am moving Crossing Bifrost to Sunday afternoon.  I want The Skald’s Lyre to be my Saturn’s Day thing from now on.  Basically a double post on Sun’s Day with the occasional double of creative writing every two or three weekdays.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Warrior Mind (Part 2)

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

When it comes to a warrior mind, the Business Virtues are in many ways doing the business of war during peace.  Self-Reliance prepares for war in peace by making sure one is independent and free to act in one’s interest as best as possible.  Industriousness is working so one has the resources one needs when the battles of life start. Hospitality means one is known for grace and mercy because it leads quicker to peace after a war is over and often you might need grace and mercy for yourself.

Your dealings with others and how they perceive you and respect you go a long way to being successful when battles come. Being known as independent, hard-working and gracious is a far better reputation than being dependent, lazy and unmerciful. It is easy to make peace with life and enjoy it when your reputation is solid.  At least this is true for your own self if not for others.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

The job search is a little frustrating right now and I am glad I set things back to the end of June so school will be out in a couple weeks and I can give the job search my full attention.  I have given my word to my wife if I can find a job in Michigan by the end of June that fits the bill I would do it. If not, then my search hits the whole country. Owning my own business is the ultimate in self-reliance and the goal here.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

The degree is almost done.  About three weeks now before the semester is over and all requirements are finished. My novel idea is taking root in my heart of five childhood friends that set out together to find adventure.  I like it and I think the five characters I have in mind are not typical, but rather represent a good adventure team.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I have to say if I get a job, I hope it is in a place with a little higher population density. I think that will make support groups, in general, a more viable option as well as owning a home of the right size.  Something me and the wife talk about which both of us agree on the minimum necessary to be comfortable for both of us.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Justice keeps my life balanced. For all my talk of mercy and grace earlier, it should be noted that part of justice is to know when you have had enough of someone’s shit or when they have betrayed your trust.  Don’t have to deal with those people in my mind or treat them well when you encounter them.  I have a short list of such people and I think that it is simply exercising justice to myself.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

Next week I am going to do some routine shuffle and rearrangement.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Weekend Musings and Writing Plans

Happy Saturn’s Day

By way of announcements:

  1. There will be no Crossing Bifrost today as I am very much near the end of the semester and I am trying to complete some extra work for school plus get my Routines back on track.  Possible finish off another class’ work today.  For the same reason and as a gesture of respect to the Christians out there doing their Easter celebrations, there will be no Pagan Pulpit this Sun’s Day either.  I have said my piece on Thor’s Day about the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth in my post on the subject.
  2. What will happen is this post on some writing plans today as well as some other wandering thoughts.  Tomorrow on Sun’s Day I will post the next installment of Rogue Wizard.  I also plan on canonizing a poem I wrote last week sometime this weekend as well.

Well, time for a few musings and wandering thoughts.

This is the first Easter season where I honestly can say I haven’t been stressed out.  I am no longer a minister so I am not preparing a message or getting a service ready.  I have to work at my job, probably because all the Christians asked for the day off, but I am good with that. I actually have more peace about it than anything else.  I just wonder if I will be working alone.

I am hopefully going to get my first walk in of the season today.  I have been waiting for a sunny day that is above 50 degrees and so today may be the first hike of the wandering skald. Hiking is a real spiritual thing for me and I am looking forward to the walk.  After that as long as it is above 45 degrees walking will take place.

The Grey has been thankfully very light right now. It is more of a dull boring sensation than depression.  More of an annoyance than anything else. I guess part of that is I have come to look at my memories of this time last year as more of a challenge o picking out the good and discarding the bad.  That will be far more difficult this summer, but right now it isn’t that hard.

Writing plans:

Part of getting back on track with all my routines is setting my writing goals.  Most notably my goals for my novel and my non-fiction book. I think I have narrowed things down a bit.

For my non-fiction book I am going to do something involving the Bible and Skepticism.  My former Christian friends might not like it but I am thinking of doing a harmony of the gospels from a skeptics point of view.  I guess announcing this at Easter is fitting in some ways as it marks a turn of thought for me.  The book will be more designed for the popular press written in something that anyone with a basic education can understand but I may do another version that is scholarly first then rewrite it for publication.

For my novel, I am going to go pure fantasy.  I had an idea a long time ago of five friends who after growing up together in a small medieval fantasy city decide to take up adventuring together in an old blog that is now deleted.  I am thinking though it might make a good novel.  It is the kind of story I would like to read so it should be fun to write.

Here on this blog I am moving slowly forward with Rogue Wizard.  I must say that The Grey Wayfarer series is not so much halted as it is me taking some time to continue my research into Norse mythology before I continue with it.  That series is more about quality than quantity. I am therefore taking a lot more time with it. Rogue Wizard on the other hand is placing myself into situations as the main character is basically me on a divergent timeline. This makes it easier to write.  I have noted since I decided to engage my memories instead of avoid them, I have found it easier to write in general.  Sill need a new muse, but I will find her somewhere I am sure.

Enjoy your weekend, there should be a Poem and A Story somewhere for you.  This week coming up I will be talking about the Pagan Holiday Walpurgis on Odin’s Eye.  This is the May Eve celebrations.  So for you pagan’s out there do not fear, we will get past this to our own stuff.

As a final announcement, on Thursday I passed 200 days straight blogging.  With this post today it will be 202.  So I have 163 days to go for a whole year.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 7 – Painful Revelations

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 14th, 2019 (cont.)

I found my clothes on a table just outside the room and a couple of towels.  I was still a little wet from whatever process they had washed me off with, so I dried off. and then started getting dressed. It was then that I felt eyes watching me.  The Lioness of course and two other individuals – Lunette and Raven.

“Now all you ladies have me at a disadvantage.  You have now all seen me in the buff, but other than Lunette in middle school, I have not seen any of you in your natural state. Any takers?  No?  Well, excuse me.”

The three of them seemed a little self-conscious, so they looked away as best they could but I continued to catch glances.  I smiled.  Underwear, t-shirt with workout saying, socks, jeans, hiking boots, necklace with Valknut symbol, wedding band, sweatshirt hoodie with local university on front.

“Mr. Raby, do you use enchantments at all?”

“No, not yet anyway.  Never had he need, always focused my studies on how magic in and of itself could help me.  Enchantments are nice to have but they can be taken from you, if you lose what is enchanted.”

“You could do an enchanted tattoo”, Raven suggested.

“Yes, I could.  Combination of alchemy and enchantment and attached to my skin.  Might be worth considering.  Speaking of alchemy, nice bit of work there Lunette with the lipstick.”

Lunette looked down at her feet.

“Can I ask if the alchemy works on everyone, or it was just targeted to me?”

“Targeted. made the formula from a lock of you hair I took back in middle school.  I was surprised the formula hadn’t gone inert, but it was still active.”

“Shit knocked me out fast, figured it was targeted.  That long ago?  What was the occasion?”

“That day when we were freshmen in High School. When you grabbed my arm when I was being a bitch to you.  You basically told me to back down and I was pissed about it.  Wanted a weapon to target you.”

I nodded. I remember that day.  I said something to the effect that I was like crack cocaine to her, so she was vulnerable to me and needed to knock off the snotty bitch thing. Enough reminiscing, need information.

“Well, ladies what happened to the Red Tree Grove? Best theories please.”

Lunette spoke first.

“She must have decided to leave and give up immortality. Only thing that fits.  She didn’t pick a replacement, so her power simply diffused. The protective power was gone about ten years ago, so I went inside. The tree was still alive but barely.  Those three scars you helped heal.  Someone had opened them up again. Given that she was the only one living there at the time, she might have done it herself.”

“Well fuck.  Yeah, trying to break her addiction completely.  No tree, no drug. Where do you think she went?”

This time the Lioness spoke.

“We don’t think she kept her physical form.  We think she went completely spirit form.  It would allow her to possess any female she wanted, and keep a long life possible for her.  She could move from female to female and occupy them. Use them as hosts to live for a long time. Then move on.  Only problem is that every time she would switch she would lose a part of herself.”

“Any leads on that?”

“One, you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, the woman you had an affair with? She might have been one of them.  Highly likely.”

This stunned me for a minute, then.  Of course it would explain how could she have connected with me so well and so quickly and how I also had changed in my thoughts about her.  I mean up until February she was just another woman in the congregation, then that all changed.

“How much control would she have had? Over her host I mean?”

Raven spoke this time.

“Only when it was truly needed, she would be too weak otherwise.  Indirect influence most likely. The woman had her own choices, but perhaps there was a nudge from Elpis.”

I cringed at the name.

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, it’s OK. I have been running from this too long. I suppose it was inevitable that both Elpis and Miss Salty would be mentioned. Time to quite avoiding and face what they were to me.  Both loves of mine and lost.”

“I guess I would fall in that category too.”, Lunette injected. Sad tone in her voice too.

“Yes, you would and my wife now that she has been killed by the Council. I don’t have any loves that are not lost in some way now. I’m alone.”

Those last two words hung there for a minute.  Like a diagnoses of cancer said aloud. Lunette seemed a little pained by it.

Raven spoke first, “You might find love again.”

“Right now, I don’t want it.  It hurts too much; too risky.  Need to mourn my wife for a bit yet.  Promised myself, if she died I would mourn her for at least six months. It’s only been a couple. I honored our Christian vows when we got back together, would have continued if she had lived. I don’t really have that view anymore so my next love, if there is one, would have different rules.”

I turned to face all of them.

“OK, the only thing left for me is family. They will be in danger as long as I am alive.  What’s the plan?  What do you want me to do?”

Writer’s Notes

I know, I broke my initial rule about mentioning Elpis and Miss Salty. But it is time I faced down my real life actions and dealt with the emotions of this whole thing. 

For a long time when it comes to fiction I have been struggling to find some inspiration and I think it is because I have been avoiding this issue of late.  I need a new motivation, a new muse to write for. Instead I have been dealing with The Grey that results from emotional constipation. I think laying things out there ends the bullshit at least and now things can get flowing again.  Like an enema for my emotions. Gross but accurate.  

I write fiction from emotion.  It is definitely a more heart then through the mind thing.  Non-fiction is the other way around, so it is easier.  This last week has been me struggling to get past this and I think I have some relief at this point.  Still some things to work out, but I feel for the first time I can write at least a little more freely when it comes to fiction.  Hopefully I am right.  If I am, you all should be seeing more fiction from me very soon. 

Practically for this series, it eliminates the past almost completely for my alter ego. His decision to fake his death would mean; at least for a time, he would be walking alone and too busy for a relationship.  Not saying there won’t be something in the future, but for now love is going to be kept at arm’s length.

In real life, my wife (alive and well) and I have made a strong commitment to make our relationship work.  There are some more obstacles because of my change of faith and my attitude about a lot of things in general has changed as well, but we work on them.  It has been hard at times, but for he most part we are a loving couple again. 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!