Weekly Routine

“April-June 2019 Assessment (Part Three) ” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

At this point, I can say I am Happiest with my self virtues progress. My diet is effective, exercise is solid, and loyalty to the few that have been loyal to me has been solid as far as I can tell.  My problem here is not that things are not making progress it is simply slow.  That said in such things slow progress is not only progress; it is normal. You don’t wake up one day and start lifting and a few hows later are ripped like Arnold.  It takes time and years of dedication to do that.

My main concern at this point is to move things from a weekly list to a daily one and to make a distinction between days off from work from days I do work.  I am trying to make this work with the idea I could change job and location and I still want all my Routines to be able to pick up and move and not miss a beat.

My tools for this remain what I call the self virtues.  Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity make this work for me.  Next week the actual changes will start taking place but here is some assessment of where I am right now.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

The goal here has been to be on a Paleo Diet and stick to it for a whole year.  No easy task but necessary. I never really started to see the fat melt until I got the Nutrition thing under control and that is not a just stop at the gym thing.  It is an every time you have an opportunity to eat thing, as it happens far more often. I need to really tighten this up with some new recipes and maybe some things that are more carb free than I am currently using. I need to do some research here.

The rebellious act is on hold but on my mind. 🙂

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

What I need to do here is probably walk on my days off for long distances.  It might be one of the few things I do on a day off but it would be effective this way when I have more time.  Want to start using a backpack with more weight in it too.

My mad money is being saved every paycheck and the next thing on said mad money list is my tattoo.  I know what I want (keeping it a surprise for you all) and I figure when I get about a few more months of savings it will be time to pick an artist and get a consultation.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The only thing left here is the genetic test and travel which requires time and a whole lot more money than I have. But I now have a lot of personal reasons to get my true family origins.  When much of your belief system has respect for ancestors in it, you need to find out who they were.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

With my self-assessment over at this point, the next thing to do is find the wisest path to getting this all done in a more time efficient manner. Wisdom is about balancing everything and getting my daily walk to be one of progress no matter how little progress there is.  At the same time, it is time to start taking bigger steps.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

I am thinking Latin and Writing will go Daily.  job Search will too but only until I find one then it can drop off the list but I need to get more serious about that.  I need a change soon as I am restless about a lot of things.  More on that later today in The Grey and The Wayfarer coming up.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Marriage Balance” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I mentioned on Wooden’s Day that the struggle for me and my wife is marriage balance.  if you love someone you want them to be happy and the best way for you to let them achieve that is let them be themselves.  On the flip side, you got married to that person because there are things you expected from the marriage as far as what the marriage does for you.  What you expected the other person to do for you that would help you pursue that happiness.

For me, there is a lot of freedom I expect to be given to me and I work very hard to give a lot to my wife. At the same time, I know she expects some things from me and I from her. We wouldn’t have gotten married if there wasn’t something we were expecting for ourselves from that marriage that in some way contributed to our well being. We at least at the bare minimum expect our spouses to love and respect us.

my struggle is not to lose what I want to compromise to make my wife happy.  I know that sounds counter to what I just said but the problem is if you are miserable as a consequence of making the other person happy, then that is not right.  This is the problem because freedom and expectations need to be such that both people are achieving happiness.  That the other person’s happiness affects your own.

I spent three very long years doing stuff to make my wife happy which at the same time made me miserable so my struggle is not to repeat that. I don’t want to lose what I want out of life and my marriage to make her happy at my expense.  She loves me, so it should mean she doesn’t want that either. It is definitely one of those tricky things for us.

It is where the virtues of discipline, perseverance, and fidelity help.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Now I am not talking BDSM here with marriage and discipline. 🙂 I am talking about the regualar expression of love, affection, and renewal of the relationship that needs to take place on a daily basis.  If your spouse is the number one person in your life, then one of your number one priorities should be to express that every day somehow.  On your list of things to do this should be right up there as the number one relationship discipline of your life.

With my wife and me, this involves a few things.  For my part, I make sure to send her a text saying I love you every day.  I do this in person every day as well.  Now we have the possibility of us being separated for whatever reason which means a face to face phone call that day instead.  Every day we are together we also have cuddle and communication time which is mandatory for at least ten minutes. I know my wife asks me how I am doing most days because she knows I walk the Grey known as depression so she asks from time to time and really means it.  I do my best to answer absolutely as honestly as I can.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Marriages fail when all sides give up.  My wife never gave up once we split-up. She was getting close to it as we got closer to divorce but she never caved. Her failure was pretty much giving up on thinking she needed to still work at our relationship.  Part of perseverance is not taking things for granted including your marriage is strong.  Sometimes it just isn’t strong and you need to work on that.  Never assume that just because you have been together for a while that you or your spouse are in a good place.

In our case, the relationship was falling apart for years before my affair.  If it hadn’t been nothing would have happened because the strength of it would have protected it.  It was a weak marriage because both of us were dissatisfied with the other person.  Respect and expressions of love were very minimal. For me, this coupled with my personality type which is the kind that expects a lot out of relationships and needs a small amount of very close relationships and at least one intimate one to function, I was very lonely.  The rest is pretty much the anatomy of the typical good guy who has an affair.

Even after all that both my wife and I still decided to give it one more try and make the necessary changes. We got up after failure and kept going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The balance problem in our marriage is one of respecting the individual loyalty she and I should have for ourselves and what each of us wants as individuals; and at the same time, there is our relationship that requires compromise on that to maintain loyalty to the marriage itself. It is a balancing act where sometimes we give up something we want and other times, we give the other person the freedom to do what they want to do.   The real challenge is when what we want involves the other person.  Still a work in progress on this one as we are both trying to figure out a lot of things.

One note I need to make here is the mini-vacation was achieved. It was nice although every time we take one of these things, other issues get revealed that require thought and action.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom in marriage is a collective thing and each side needs to listen to the other.  Sometimes you are the one with the wise words, sometimes it’s your spouse. Balance is key the most in this regard. What I do know is that following the Nine Noble Virtues on my side has lead to some good things in my marriage.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

Next week I will be working on moving these things as much as possible to the daily list.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Strong” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am drawing this week to a close with Being stronger.  I am defining strong in its broadest possible sense in that I am not just talking physical strength, but mental, emotional and societal. One I have learned is stronger is stronger regardless of where it is or what kind it is. For me, this last year since leaving the ministry has been about finding new strength for life and I have found that in Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity there are great strengths to be found and developed.

The real issue is to always be strong and always be able to handle what life throws at you.  Sometimes you do shit to yourself and then you have to deal with that with the other strengths you have. I have learned a lot through failure.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I could be even more fully Paleo Diet.  I have pretty much been doing pretty well here as my cheat meals and having a carb limit helps a lot but in truth, I could go full paleo this summer as well. I am going to read my book with the recipes again and see what I can come up with.  My wife gets tired of the same old things but there are some different things I could do that might be good for both of us. I really need to take a cooking class someday.

My rebellious act is in the planning stages and I have some time so…

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My program could use a little more walking but the lifting and stretching are spot-on.  No worries here.

My tattoos are coming.  Right now I have been saving for my mini vacation with the wife but if I come back when any left over it will be the seed money for my next thing which is my tattoo(s).  Once I have enough for the first one I will be going for it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The mini-vacation coming up Saturday through Tuesday will mean this goal will be crossed off by next week. After my tattoos, my genetic test is on the list.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I have gained l lot of wisdom this last year.  I can thank a lot of things for that.  For myself my simple refusal to quit or go down helps.  But also there have been some true relationships as well.  The simple act of doing things to keep improving myself is also a great way to just keep going.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

The more I think about it the more I can work things on this list to the daily list the better. I just need to figure it out. I really also need one day or two to just say – this is my day I do what I want. I am thinking that days I work are actually more productive with the other things it is just a matter of how much time things take.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thoughts on Health” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have been thinking a lot about health these days as I have hit some milestones regarding health.  1) I just passed my third anniversary of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and 2) I stepped on a scale at the gym and for the first time in roughly a decade, I fell below 282 lbs to 281 lbs. The first of these was a wake-up call as far as nutrition was concerned as I had relied heavily on exercise to keep my weight under control and it was not working as well as before.  The second is representative of losing 67 lbs. in the last year and watching my sugar scores drop accordingly.

I have to say the first thing I had to chuck was the traditional government recommended nutritional guidelines because after doing them for roughly a year, I was getting nowhere. So headed a different direction by basically dumping the idea that regular interval carbs were going to help me.  In fact, I felt it was kind of weird that the answer to having an insulin resistant body was to give it more work to do.  I found there were some doctors who agreed with me and the video below is one of them who did a TED talk. I share this for anyone struggling with diabetes, you may have to do what your doctor and nutritionist says is wrong but actually works.

So I went Paleo for the most part.  I have my cheats so I can enjoy some of the things I love to eat from time to time but it is for the most part severely limited to a couple times a week.  The results speak for themselves. That said healthy living is more than about living better and hopefully longer. I find what I have to do to get there each day is a direct reflection of my Self Virtues of Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Nutrition is the main focus of health when it comes to discipline.  The discipline of going to the gym when I can and walking are both almost automatic for me.  The real struggle and the real key to long term and lifetime results are watching with discipline every single day what you are putting into your body.  It really has stretched my notion of discipline being applied to specifics such as exercise and events with a time limit.  I now extend the idea to the overall lifestyle which is much more important.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

In weightlifting, we talk a lot about pushing to failure. It is intentionally taking that last set until you can’t do another rep.  It is intentionally failing so that you can get results through perseverance. It has changed my perspective about failure as a tool for getting better results. To intentional push things until you can’t do anymore – you fail.  Then the next time you do that same thing you often find you can go a little further, lift a little heavier, etc. Probably a mindset that is applicable to more than weightlifting.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

In all of my health pursuits, I find that this is where I feel the most loyal to myself. I am not doing healthy things for anyone else.  I won’t say no one else benefits but the bottom line, the person who most directly benefits from me eating right and exercising is me. There is no feeling like being healthy and that is totally directed at me.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wisdom of all this extends far beyond all the health results that will allow me to live long enough and healthy enough to dance with all my granddaughters at their weddings (the oldest of them is five and the youngest is one).  It goes far more into a spiritual vein as well as all the things I do are leading to me the wise paths of discipline, perseverance, and fidelity.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

I really want a full week of routine this coming week.  I need to prove this is practical and not a time consuming or realize things need to be changed so they are both practical and not time-consuming.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Wolf Self” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am Wolf.  It’s a way of looking at my identity that is more internal and resonates far more with me than many others.  Wolves have that dual identity of being loyal but frightening to others. Wild and untamed but at the same the virtues of Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity reign supreme in the heart of any Wolf and Wolfpack.  I suppose what I am going for with this identity is placing some understanding of having the soul of the wolf and not be alarmed by the truth of that for myself.

I suppose when you put it all together, I am a wandering warrior with the heart and soul of a wolf. If I was asked what I value in my soul it is freedom and liberty to roam, explore, search and follow my path.  I no longer believe in the split nature of mankind or its sinfulness.  Rather that we are individual beings that are human and none of that is inherently good or evil.  Rather, I believe that our entire nature simply waits to be harnessed as we follow our needs and wants to be guided by our reason and experience.

Warrior, Wayfarer, and Wolf.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I remember at work one woman telling me she wished more men were gentlemen and less were dogs. I told her that a gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf. Still canine, not a dog but perhaps in other ways more primal and certainly more disciplined. The gentleman’s objectives are very wolflike, he just is more relentless and patient about it. He wants the best so he engages the virtue of discipline.  He waits patiently engaging in the things that day by day bring him closer to his goals. Such a ‘gentleman’ is simply a relentless wolf.  I seek to be such a wolf.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Wolves, of course, face defeat and failure.  it doesn’t top them, they get up and go back at it.  The only defeat or failure that ends their quest for what they want and needs id death. My nature has never been one to quit. So me and the wolf within keep getting up and keep going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My pack is small but close.  I do wish there were more members at times, but I take the ones I have and our bonds of loyalty grow stronger. Nothing is more important to the pack that fidelity.  Those who break deserve nothing more or less than what I have done to others – to be shown my teeth because I do indeed bite.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom is a tough call when it comes to being a wolf.  Wolves that survive listen to the raven’s caw overhead.  The learn from their mistakes and it allows them to become old wolves. They know what the need and want and use reason and wisdom to achieve them.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This is the part that still needs a lot of work.  A new week is coming soon so it is another opportunity to make the effort to get it all done.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations of Iron” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

This last month and a half’s progress has been greatly aided by my return to a gym.  This is not just true of my body although stepping on the scale this week and seeing that I am 281 lbs., which is the lowest I have been in a decade, was a particular thrill.  As most of you know the thing that I enjoy about lifting is the mental state it trains in you. Meditation is central to lifting in that every set, rep, and exercise has a way of challenging your mind as well as your body.

The goal is actually not weight loss either, but fat-loss coupled with muscle gain which is an entirely different thing.  I measure this with a mirror. This is Jack LaLanne’s method of staying motivated, which is to step out of the shower and gaze at your naked body in the mirror until you get angry enough and motivated enough to do something to change it and reforge it.  I do this every day.

See the source image

I still have a long way to go.  But the goal is to trade fat for muscle, not just lose weight, so I meditate on the best way to do that.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

My diet has been more spot on and for the most part, this is due to the fact that every time I eat something off plan it makes me feel like shit. Not because I don’t make allowances for cheat meals or carbs during the day, but it literally makes me feel a little queasy and I think my body is trying to tell me something.  I think I am ready for some more purging of things I shouldn’t have in my diet.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

The exercise plan is coming along, I just need to make some changes as far as routines and when I do things to have it completely consistent. There is a spiritual side of all my exercise.  Weightlifting is not alone in that regard as hiking and stretching have their meditative side.

I have been saving for the tattoo.  I am currently engaged in the process of deciding what to do first.  Much has changed since I last spoke on this but there are some tattoos that keep rising to the top. The question is which one would be the most significant as the first one. Right now I leaning toward something like this as it is the most complete expression of my philosophy I have seen in a single tattoo:

The only problem would be where to put it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My wife and I are scheduled and we both have the time off for June 9th through the 11th and we have our reservations at a hotel so the mini-vacation is set.  It is less than a month away so it is something we are both looking forward to.  There is also this family vacation on the horizon, so the next goal of saving for that might simply fall into place.

A genetic test is not beyond the realm of possibility within the next year.  Once I know the results I can start the research into where my ancestors got on the boat and got off.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wise choice in this is to take care of my body and be loyal to myself first. Something I meditate on often to assess whether or not I am staying true to this. If I don’t do either of these things, the rest of it becomes jeopardized.  Painful but important lessons learned.  Wisdom gained and being implemented.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This routine needs more dedication, but it is solid as a plan.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I added the completion of my internship this week and thus the requirements for my degree are finished.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Life’s Blacksmith

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

It seems this proverb has a lot of origin stories but I can imagine every blacksmith probably drew this conclusion that each and every person smiths his own life. Life being raw iron that needs to be smithed in order to turn it into something that you want it to be. Who you are and what your life will become results from taking the raw materials of both and forging them into what you want. Being a smith is no easy task and having the life you want is not easy either.

Life tends to be like iron in this regard.  Very little of it can be changed without discipline, perseverance, and fidelity.   Particularly fidelity to one’s self. These are the tools that one forges one’s life from.  This concept dominates my thinking at times as I try to build the life I want and these virtues along with the other six are tools that make this possible.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

To make a good sword, steel has to be folded over and over again.  There is a repetition to most things in smithing that is about making something stronger, better or so it can be done by habit. This requires you to be hard on yourself first and then others around you second when appropriate.  Right now I look at what I am trying to achieve both as far as goals and my bucket list and discipline myself through routines so that relentlessly I am working toward achieving them.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Every Smith screws up at some point.  They have to go back and fix something or start over or keep doing something that is tedious to get where you want to be. Failure is never looked at as final defeat but rather a lesson learned and an opportunity to change and grow.  That is the heart of perseverance.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I am struggling with this part – being loyal to myself.  There are things I want in life yet and I need to make the commitment not to compromise on them. I tend to try to make others happy at times and at the expense of myself.  Old habits I guess. These days though, I need to build myself again and recast myself in a different form. To do that I need to stay true to the vision I have for myself.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Experience can breed wisdom or regret.  The choice is yours. I choose to learn and grow and look for something better. Wisdom is a big help in this and I am learning it every day.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

School is winding down and I will refocus my attention on a shorter list of things. One of those things is getting all my routines to start to forge my life better. This one, in particular, is very key to doing that.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Forks in the Road (Part 3)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

There are some forks in the road you do not want to encounter because they are difficult decisions to make.  I find the ones involving Self to be this way more often than not.  It is probably because inherent in Perseverance is this simple choice to get up or stay down.  But when you look at the options many times with self, there are no bad ones, just choices where you are trying to determine what is best.

If I wrestle with forks in the road here, it is about trying to find what works and what is best.  There is one issue however that is very difficult but more on that in a little bit.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I am reassessing every Routine for effectiveness, but mostly I have come to the painful conclusion that I am simply weary with the whole academics and going to school thing.  I am probably going to take at least until the end of the year to think about whether to do a master’s degree and what one at this time.  I think it is best to put that on hold until I have a good job and know where I am living. That said once the semester is over in a little more than a week, I can get a better handle on what is working for me and how to fine-tune it.  I feel like I am drifting here and that isn’t good.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

This is the easy fork in the road for me.  I keep getting up and I keep going forward as best I can.  There is no quit here.  I would probably have to do this less emotionally if I would stop knocking myself down.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This is the real fork in the road that is giving me pause.  In particular, ‘loyalty to self vs. loyalty to all the others’ comes up fairly regularly. I feel at times that I am losing what I want and my purpose as I strive for all the rest.  I really need to be loyal to myself at times and that is not always an easy thing to tell people.  I still feel like I need to back off yet with some things, because I am just not ready for them.  Still healing I think.  Deeper healing but still healing.  I really need a new and better paying job because of this because I really want to get back to counseling for myself and my marriage.   I can’t deny since we set it aside for financial reasons, I at least feel a little more adrift.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Every decision: What is the loving thing to do?  What is the just thing to do? What is the wisest thing to do? It does help to have this system.  It leads to wiser choices.  There are many forks in the road to navigate in life and having a way to ask these questions at each one has definitely helped.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

Needs work but the weightlifting I am having no trouble with.  The rest is still a work in progress.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Warrior Mind (Part 3)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

My Self Virtues are the actual preparation for battle in the warrior mindset.  Discipline is needed so that what needs to be done is automatic and doesn’t need to have too much thought behind it. Perseverance is the simple determined act of getting up and to keep going which is so necessary during battle. Fidelity is necessary because not all battles can be fought alone, at the same time loyalty to self is important because some battles can only be fought alone.

I feel very challenged and conflicted right now.  I really need these three virtues to work for me right now to clear that up.  I feel some real battles are coming in the next few months and I want my mind focused on what needs to be done and the goals. My Foundational Virtues are the mindset of vision for victory.  My Business Virtues are preparation in peace for war.  It is the Self Virtues that are the real nuts and bolts of making all this happen during the fight.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

My diet is clean 90% of the time and on track about that much of the time as well. It is not a big problem and part of the reason I can run into people I know and one of the first things they talk about is how much weight I have lost. I owe that to dietary changes.  It just happened this week and the person remarked its all those trips to the gym, but I really had three months off there from the gym or walking in general and so the thing that has kept the weight off is the diet.  My rebellious act is still being debated in my mind.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Weightlifting.  Check.  Walking/Hiking.  It is finally warm enough so probably next week I will set aside three days for a walk. It will be good for me to get outside and breath fresh air.  Stretching/Yoga.  I am thinking of returning this to the morning routine. It just worked better there. I have actually saved up money for my tattoo so this may very well be my first bucket list item crossed off. I am getting paid for this internship so some money from that might find its way here too.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Mini-Vacation is scheduled for June 9-11th.  True to form it is a time for me and my wife to get away and mostly spend time relaxing and hopefully making love and enjoy the local sites of a local city. Far away enough for us to be away, close enough to not take a long drive to get there.  Genetics tests could happen as soon as I get a new job.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wisest path is not always easy to find. I find myself overthinking at times. The temptation is to act quickly and not with patience. I know once school is done and I can truly focus on getting a job as well as refining and solidifying my routines. Wisdom is hard in this regard as patience is a very hard virtue that is part of it.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

Next week I am doubling down on all my routines.  Mostly I really haven’t had time to really work out the details.  Once school is finished, that will change.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – INFJ and Wisdom

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

At 1.5% of the population, we INFJs are the rarest personality type of the 16 identified by Myers-Briggs. We know it too. We feel unique because it is clear what motivates us is to not be like everybody else.  It is no accident that my personality gravitates to something like the Nine Noble Virtues and living a life that is higher and deeper based on them.  Words like Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity as far as my self concept mean a lot more to me, than they might to others.  All of these virtues have one powerful thing behind them – they are the wise way to handle myself in the midst of this world.  Stay disciplined, keep getting up and stay faithful to the people who have shown themselves faithful to you is simply the wisest way to live for me.

At this point, I have to mention how much from last year to this my personality changed.  Not that I moved to INFJ from something else, but rather how much stronger it is. I mentioned before my Introverted score increased from 75% to 94%.  From an understanding of myself point of view the other three also all became stronger as well.  I got burned, because I trusted my logic a little too much about people instead of my intuition, so I follow my gut more now with a higher N score 64% to 76%.  I have a higher emphasis on love being mutual happiness, so I am much more focused on feelings being important.  F score goes from 58% to 63%  I used to point out how close my J score was to becoming P, but not anymore as it has gone from 51% to 78%.

This is the most significant change.  I might reflect this in the statement – “I don’t trust words or even actions anymore – I judge patterns and results.” I look at the end result and the patterns of behavior and trust my judgment of them more than just the surface words and actions anymore.  In short, I am much more cautious about relationships than ever and I am far more focused on stuff that really means something and my own happiness.

The suggested strategy for my living with this personality is to walk in confident individualism and realize that my role in any group is to be the diplomat.  I would say that is a fairly accurate way to live – a wise way to live.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Discipline is something I cling to as an INFJ. Having a plan of self-improvement is just a natural thing to me.  If I have to watch anything, it is when I do achieve something the satisfaction from that does not last very long.  I am asking what is next very quickly.  I need to learn to celebrate achievements a little more.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

INFJ people just keep going, Mostly because we don’t really ‘need’ people but we do. I know that seems contradictory, but my personality is such that I can live without people and so when they leave me or abandon me or hurt me, I keep going.  That said, I can’t go forever without someone ‘getting me’,  It makes me slow down and it also leaves me vulnerable. Vulnerability that I can’t see but does build up until I will, without much thought, gravitate toward a person who does ‘get me’ regardless of consequences.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This vulnerability became really apparent to me last year at this very time of year, although I would not at that time have identified it as such.  There was a young woman who ‘got me’ at a time of my life where I felt no one really did, not even those closest to me in both family and friends seemed to get me, just her. My personality was really excited about this person because they got me. I started to love and gravitate toward this person because of it.  I didn’t really care about much else. I didn’t’ really identify at the time the danger because I didn’t feel it was a bad thing because my need for this had gotten so high.

In the area fidelity, I struggle because I can go long periods without people in my life, but at the same time something inside is crying out to be understood and it slowly gets louder until it is screaming. The problem then is fidelity and even other virtues and their importance diminish in order to meet this need and it is such a strong need I don’t care about too much else.

I still have a hole in my life since Miss Salty’s departure but it isn’t about the romantic side of that relationship at all.  I have that with my wife right now.  It’s the simple thing of she ‘got me’ completely. Saw through the bullshit of the hard calm exterior and reached out to me as a friend and that meant a lot to me..  That was worth its weight in gold to someone with my personality. It is so rare though and I wonder if I will ever have that again.  At the same time I wonder if I even want it to happen again, because my fidelity with other people becomes a struggle when such a relationship appears in my life.  It tends to be all-encompassing because it is so rare to me.

To combat this, I make sure my wife and I tell each other we love each other now.  We make a point of it to tell each other in not just words but actions.  The problem remains in that I am not sure right now even with her, if she truly ‘gets me’ all the time. She is however more mindful of it and checks on my much more than she did which I appreciate so much.  Also, I am much more mindful of my need here and try to deal with it better.  What I need probably is more friends that can each fill a part of that hole. But that Introvert score is so large now thanks to this last year, and as such I am always being a skeptic when someone says their my friend or want to be my friend.  I really only have two friends I trust anymore completely and one of them is my wife.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I am all about making wise choices now, but in wisdom I also see there are not ‘black and white’ answers.  Only different levels of grey that I must navigate to find the best course. With Discipline I stay focused on my goals and try to be better every day.  With Perseverance I keep going because there is little wisdom in dwelling on defeats and failures.  Keeping a small circle and staying true to those who have been true to me is my fidelity motto, but there is my ‘weakness’ of the growing need for someone who ‘gets me’ completely and I have to guard myself but at the same time meet that need some way.  I guess the path to wisdom will become apparent as I walk it.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This needs simply to be implemented.  I think it is simply time to run with it and see what happens.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!