Summer Time

Happy Sol’s Day!

I have found myself back home in Michigan and I need to do so much in a short time. That said most of it is appointments. It’s the wait time in between that needs filling. Order can be a little flexible on this as it is mostly about getting certain things to happen.

Health: I have started walking every day. I am trying to get my time back up so that hiking is more of a reasonable possibility. It’s actually going better than expected. My old gym is getting used and my diet is more restrictive so I am expecting to lose some weight over the next few weeks.

Reading/Writing: I am going to spend some time reading more every day. I of course am writing each day at this point. trying to find my muse.

Career: By the end of June I want all my training completed that’s still left online and to be ready in some respects with a plan for next year. I have one formal test to take late this month I need to pass so I am studying for that.

Camping: I am trying to get my camping gear tested and ready. The tent is working out and I have lighting and a solar power generator pack coming for testing. I need a few things like a small stove for cooking. etc.

Hopefully, with all this preparation, I will be able to return to Michigan next summer and spend time with a base camp and day hike life at that time.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Transitions

Happy Sif’s Day!

This past week has been one of transition. At its beginning, I was still teaching in Texas finishing up the school year. Road Trip on Wednesday and Thursday. Set up my tent on Thursday Afternoon and I now am camping out on my daughter’s lawn in Michigan this week.

But it isn’t just a location that has shifted, but a mindset. I am moving away from my job (not entirely as I have the stuff to do related to my career) and more to working on myself. Health and Other concern related to me are now at the forefront. I have some training to finish, some professional development to finish to be sure, and some education books to read, but the main focus is my own goals and habits.

The routine is shifting some senses as well but the main center is still intact. More on the summer routine tomorrow.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Routine Adjustments and Forming Habits

Happy Sol’s Day!

So what is the vision for myself I am trying to base my goals and thus what habits do I need to form on daily basis to achieve them? So we start with my vision of what I would like to see myself be. This has a few new elements seeing I am now single and working toward better things for me without consideration for a significant other. This has its own challenges because I am doing it with one income and without someone to run it through as a filter. I do consider that last part to be a bit of a weakness of being single.

My vision for myself has some specifics in that I value strength, masculinity, rationality, virtue, and quality of relationships over quantity. I also believe these work together and fortify each other. Thus the reason I used the quote from Henry Rollins for this post. One strength leads to another. So what habits do I need to achieve this?

The problem with this for me right now is that I recognize this as a process. Because of this habits may need to be added once I recognize the need for them, and others might need to be dropped. This is an evolving list and one that is going to change with time and further consideration. Thus the Daily Routine. Each item is designed to bring me day by day to some part of the vision. It’s interesting that this almost eliminates the idea of goals, now that I think of it, other than the goal is to create habits that create the vision of what I want to be.

The Grey Wayfarer’s Daily Routine (as of 5-15-22)

  1. Get up and Make the Bed: Goes to Mental Health. I can say at any time of the day I have made my bed. It’s also nice at the end of the day to climb into a made bed, even though the other side is empty right now. I miss cuddling the most. I usually get up 3am.
  2. Meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues: Goes to Virtue. Basically, I read through them three times out loud. This is my way of coming to a better understanding of the virtues and thinking about how to apply them.
  3. Full Body Stretch: Goes to Strength of Body and Masculinity. I also put on my headphones at this point to listen to Viking Wisdom and Warrior Wisdom.
  4. Weight Training: Goes to Strength and Masculinity. I am still usually listening to Wisdom and Motivational stuff on my headphones. This is Monday through Saturday Only.
  5. Breakfast and Supplements: Goes Strength and Masculinity. My Diet is Cave Man (Paleo).
  6. Shit, Shower and Shave: Physical Health: Part of the Viking Wisdom I listen to is the expression about not worrying about the simplicity of Dress but rather worrying about health and Hygiene. Being clean and hygienic of body is more important than what you wear on that body.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day: Mental Health: This is the first mental acknowledgment that I am going to have to go outdoors so I need to prepare. It should be noted that 1 through 6 are done in the nude. I sleep naked as it leads to a more restful night of sleep for me. When I get up I fail to see the point of getting dressed to just take it off again to take a shower. I am comfortable in my own skin and tend to be an at-home nudist anyway. I have also found this leads to a good mental state of “This is me in the raw, what I am stripped down – what am I capable of like this?”
  8. Get ready for work: This is Monday through Friday only. It leads to financial health but there is a mental shift going on as well. I have a separate work routine. I will probably go over that at some point.
  9. Record YouTube Video for The Rabyd Atheist. Edit and Post. Goes to being socially strong. Having a voice in the world. I used to do this later but a practical concern caused me to change it to earlier. That concern is that after school the kids in my apartment complex play loudly. So Yesterday I made the decision to record as soon as I am ready for work. Even if I have to go to work right after I record I can pick this up later. Usually, I have plenty of time, as my routine (the more I get used to it) goes faster and takes less time.
  10. Write Post for The Grey Wayfarer: Goes to Mental Health and Social. I also have a vision of myself as being a philosopher writing out his wisdom at the end of his life. I am the guy who played LIFE the board game and wondered why retiring and becoming a philosopher was a bad outcome.
  11. Study: 30 mInutes: Right now this comes before reading because I am trying to finish my training for my teacher certification and working on it for a half-hour a day seems reasonable
  12. Reading – 3 chapters. God for me as the scholar and it starts to mark me coming down from the day. I find reading both engaging and relaxing. Mental Health here as well.
  13. Cleaning: 30 mInutes. This is more of a mental thing as well. This is also more of the spot cleaning of a room or rooms as on Sunday I have a full reset cleaning I do. Keeping my environment clean and in line with my tastes goes a long way toward fighting my depression.
  14. Personal Business: Mail, email, paying bills. I am probably going to morph this into planning and budgeting as I have a financial goal of getting debt-free as soon as possible.
  15. End the day: Take off my clothes and climb into bed. My alarms are all set through Alexa so. Sleep and reset.

Over time this should start to shape me in a lot of ways into a strong person of mind, body, and social responsibility. The only thing I am trying to add is a routine about staying connected to my family but in many ways that are in their hands as all my kids are welcome to interrupt my routine to talk to me. One of the perks of being my children. They are far busier than me so they all have permission to interrupt my life to talk to me.

I suspect that some of this will be changed over time and added to and subtracted from. There are two other routines in my life – Work and Sunday Rest. More on those next weekend.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Music and The Wayfarer

Happy Mani’s Day!

If you know me you know that my musical taste is very eclectic. Mostly, I tend to listen to music that reflects my emotions. Some people, a very few, have been able to figure out that if you want to know what iI am going through emotionally in my head all you really have to do is listen to my playlist. If you are emotionally inclined you can read between the lines and find the connections between the songs I am listening to and what I am thinking and feeling.

I have always been impressed by people who can read me this way. Miss Salty was one of these and it was sometimes scary how accurate she was. My ex-wife was not. Often she would just pass judgment on what I was listening to. She had no desire to know me in this way. The point I am making here is that the woman who can read my music and thus read me has an advantage. It’s a weakness, maybe. Or it is just a safer way for me to express my emotions without verbalizing them. I guess I would rather look at it as an open door to understanding the man who is The Grey Wayfarer.

Because my emotions change, what I listen to changes with it. It is probably also why I look for new music all the time because I do run into emotions that have no expression and I look for something musical to express them. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am not. But the search can be some of the most rewarding I have done. Especially when something new turns out to be perfect.

It’s probably why I don’t hate on any genre, but there are some I just don’t resonate with. Probably because what they express just isn’t me or my emotions.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Grey and the Wayfarer – Time to Take a Walk

Happy Mani’s Day!!!

I have been away for a while and I can’t say that after looking at my excuses for not writing that they are good ones. I will only say that I have been keeping my life on the grindstone and The Grey is a motherfucker. This issue is that a lot of major changes were taking place and; to be blunt, my muse was running out of steam, and I didn’t have a new one.

The Changes in my life were that I pretty much started proclaiming that I am an atheist (a pagan one as far as ethics) but also after 32 years my wife and I decided to part ways. I am not going to go too much into it, but the result was me putting all my worldly possessions in my Jeep Patriot and riding away on July 30 to Texas to take a teaching job in a Houston Area high school teaching social studies. I have actually found a good replacement for what I lost as a pastor, but also I can now at the end of the day leave work at work and start enjoying life. My only real battles are usually homesickness, loneliness, and depression (The Grey).

My Muse for a long time was the grief of lost love over those people who have read this blog known as Miss Salty. It’s not so much that I don’t look at my heart in that pot and don’t find a scar and a little pain. Time heals but it doesn’t heal everything. That said, the fuel that grief gave me for my writing seems to have dried up. It always seems that I need the feminine to write and I’ve struggled to know what to write about.

A little while ago though I realized that one of my coping mechanisms against The Grey is writing. I don’t; cope well when my feelings are not being written down and No matter how I try to a journal offline, it doesn’t work. It’s the notion of public consumption that makes it feel like sharing with someone else. That’s the motivation.

I don’t know what the future holds other than I have made the commitment to start writing every day again. It might be a journal entry like this one, a short story, or a poem or something. The main thing is to write and thus start taking a walk again into my feelings and thoughts. I am also going to keep these short, so that’s all for today.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Circle Routine Focused on Progress” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

The real problem is now how to take four simple goals and make daily progress on the whole thing.  This has in the past always come down to routine. In his case through the idea is to do the routine with reward at regular steps so it is a little different.  No workday or rest day routine here.  The only difference between a workday and a off day will be that I should accomplish more on my off days simply because I have more time. 

The way it works is cyclical working though the routine and then starting over when it is completed.  What keeps it moving is the time or more concrete goal for each step when it is done to move on to the next thing. My priority starts with health, then career, then writing, then my YouTube channel, the rinse and repeat.

  1. Full Body Stretch / Meditation – Max – once per day.
  2. Walking – 30 minutes – conditional good weather, trails are clear. Max once per day.
  3. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  4. Certification Work – 3 hours.
  5. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  6. Blog Article – write, edit, post – Max four times a week. Posting will be spread out across the week but I will probably write a post on that very soon.
  7. Read 1 chapter of a book.
  8. Write 1000 words.
  9. Relaxing – 1 hour
  10. YouTube Skills development – 2 hours.
  11. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  12. Personal Business – empty inboxs.

There are a couple things that will interrupt this routine because they are conditional to the situation. The routine goes to pause and after they get done, it starts back up again.

  1. Weightlifting – after work when I know I have time to do it and get home in time enough to hand the car off to the wife.
  2. YouTube recording – three times a week but I need no one to be home but me.
  3. Work – when I am at work the routine goes to pause mode.

The routine stops when I go to bed and starts where it left off when I get up. 

A note on nutrition. This is an all day every day issue so doesn’t fit in a routine.

Life intrudes (appointments, life events) with things that will pause this as well. The main thing is to get back at it as soon as possible.

Relaxing time can be banked.  That is saved for later.  I doubt this will happen much, but if I a making progress and enjoying that, I might skip a relax time and save it for later to be taken when I want.

I am coming up on my 52nd birthday. March traditionally has been a good start for me because of it.  Last year I was off to a great start and then COVID killed a lot of things for me.  Not this year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

It Worked! – Some Intitial Plans

Happy Tyr’s Day!!!

So the switch in address worked and so I can post to Facebook again. What this does inspire me to do is break down some objectives and start setting some vision for myself. I have four, maybe five areas, of my life that need some work and development of habits to reach and I am hoping this blog will do what it has always done – keep me on task and focused.

  1. Career – The issue is for me putting my Poltical Science degree and my desire to be more educaitonally focused into practice. From a habit standpoint, I have a certificaiton that was delayed due to COVID-19 issues but now I need ot finish it by February so that I can be in a postion to look for new jobs early on. The habit is simply to get some things done every day. That’s all I feel comfortable sharing as recent events show to me my haters are still active.
  2. Health – Need to get back to weightlifitng and nutrition being solid. Going ot the gym and keep the bad food out of the house are good first objectives. My main goal is to get back ot where I was early 2020 and then go from there. Once the weather clears up around here- walking and hiking will be back on my list as well.
  3. Atheist Activism – My YouTube channel is a start but writing and being invovled with other things will lead ot other opportunities. Just need to do some things so my channel is better and more active.
  4. Writing – easist one to see. Need to read more, write more and blog more.
  5. Technical Hobby – this is a new one and still in its infancy as far as an idea. I want a hobby that invovles something technical or scientific – mostly just ot push my mind a little.

All in all the issue is ot get back ot regular habits that keep depression away and make progress on these areas.

As for this blog I am working on a regular rotation along with some posts that are more freestyle so to speak. The one thing I want for sure is to keep them shorter. A blog article from start to finish should take less than an hour from sitting down until ready to post.

Thanks to all of you for sticking with me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“April Fools Day Cancelled” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day!

I have noticed that the jokes this April Fools Day seem to be either very subdued or non-existent.  My guess is the current situation is stealing a lot of people’s sense of humor. Practical Jokes are not really funny right now.  The real world intrudes.

See the source image

My real hope for all of you this April 1st is that you are all alive and well and enjoying life as much as you can. No Fooling.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“One More Quick Post” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Mani’s Day!

I had originally planned on getting back to normal posting this week but real life intrudes and given the COVID-19 issues.  I came home exhausted of mind and body after a long day of watching people acting in fear.  Time to relax and chill.  I plan on revealing my new goal this week and formalizing my stuff the next so that will happen.  I also need to keep the score of this past year’s goals near the end of the month.

In any case, this post keeps the posting streak going and offers a cute nurse for soon vaccination of COVID-19 – one hopes.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

“The Grey and Spirituality” – Odin’s Eye

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

This is not a ‘The Grey and The Wayfarer’ post.  It is more of a reflection on how The Grey affects and has affected my spiritual life over the years.  In the beginning, I think the grey was caused by guilt from not living up to a religious standard that was impossible to live up to.  Always wanting to please God and falling woefully short.  If you add in an abusive babysitter (mentally and sexually), then you get a mix of other issues.  Deaths of significant male figures in my life – both my grandfathers and then my father before I was 30 thrown in and then you get a lot of reasons to fight depression and The Grey that comes with it.

The grey is not so much depression as the result of when I have to shut my emotions down to cope with the heavy feelings that come with it. The Grey is something I would call a chosen numbness in order to not feel the pain of sadness and loss. Very few people understand it and those that do get my attention because it means they care a great deal about me or at least want to know me enough.

As my history of the last few years involved my loss of religious spirituality, I have come to know a different kind of spirituality to cope with The Grey, one that still involves meditation and connections. Just not of the imaginary variety anymore.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

I reflect on connections the most because it has been on the one hand these connections that are often the most effective in getting me out of both depression and The Grey. They also have made the most vulnerable to being hurt some more and giving me more cause to experience depression triggers and thus more of The Grey.  Miss Salty was the latest of these, she seemed to know what to say every time and then when she left me I felt so betrayed that it hurt very badly for a long time. Still does. I often simply have to find a way to counterbalance things with other coping strategies at that point. Meditation on the virtues helps in a spiritual manner in this regard, but so has throwing off the imaginary sky dad and it is ‘all going to be better bye and bye’ bullshit.

Mystery:

Relationships are helpful to the coping with the Grey, but I find them so mysterious at times as far as trust, loyalty and so forth.  I trust even less these days.  I find new friendships difficult at best and nearly impossible with some people. I wish i could find my way past this as they are often the best things for me in dealing with The Grey. I jsut live so far from my friends and this needs to change if I am going to make any headway in the ‘friends for me’ department.

Spirituality:

I have the simple act of living the virtues under spirituality and they work for me many more times than not. I just find them growing a little more tedious because I use them so often, but habits have that tedious aspect to them at some point when developing them. These are no exceptions.

Conclusion:

I want obe much better, but certain times of the year and certain situations come up so often that The Grey is inevitable. I fight it but I wish very much I didn’t have to.  Most people want me to be just over it.  I simply know my soul will always weep and I will walk the grey in the rain fo my tears. I know this is my path probably the rest of my life, but I do find that the joys of spirituality in my atheist mindset have been the most helpful to getting the clouds to go away more often and with more sunshine.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!