Love – “Runes”

Happy Freya’s Day!

I know the combination of the Viking Runes and Love might be a little puzzling but it’s the whole mysterious thing that I am going for. The Viking Runes are without a doubt mysterious in a lot of ways and while there are a lot of theories as to what they mean, not a lot definitive is known.

This ignorance hasn’t stopped people from playing the game of trying to figure out the Runes or co-opting them for their own purposes or adding their own meaning to them. This means any discussion of the Runes becomes either very hypothetical, theoretical or just what runes mean to each person.

Doesn’t that sound a little like the concept of love? I think the mystery of anything, particularly something most of us consider a virtue or a necessity, causes us to engage in even more emotional attachment.

Love is one of those virtues that I pursue. To be seen as a loving person. To do this requires waking the trail of mystery. To walk without complete understanding or knowledge of what love is is par for the course. Changing loves applications and meanings. Give the correlations – just maybe the runes are all about love.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Relationships – “Look at the Long Haul”

Happy Freya’s Day!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about what I am looking for in a woman in the Post: Looking for a Shieldmaiden. In that post, I said I was looking for three main qualities: Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy.

The reason I was looking for these qualities is that these qualities are long-term. I have no desire to enter temporary relationships because my time is limited. No time to play around with games and such. More of a both of us placing what we have on the table and looking at a simple question – can we build something with this that will last?

THat’s why the qualities of Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy. Fidelity, so we stay with it. Peace – Because prosperity is not built by conflict. Intimacy – the mortar that holds it together. Long-term building materials.

It takes work to maintain a good relationship but also takes good building materials and that is why I want a Shieldmaiden.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Sex – “What’s Your Body Count, Mr. Raby?”

Happy Freya’s Day!

I was teaching class one day and I had been given an assignment and was walking around making sure the students were working on it. Most of my students know I am divorced and thus single. The students were working and talking like students do and then one of my piped up and asked: “What’s your body count, Mr. Raby?” Several of the other students quickly remarked this was not a proper question to ask a teacher. I didn’t have to answer after that and I didn’t. It was quickly forgotten except by me.

I know what the question means as I have been single long enough to get the question through dating. For me, it is not a matter of pride or shame, but of faith. The number is one. My ex-wife was my only sex partner so far. Not that had I met up with the woman I had an affair with I might not have made it two at the time. The reason is simply that one does not fool around in Christianity, at least in theory.

In reality, I lost track of the affairs I knew about in my churches as a pastor. I also lost track of the people who were discovered fooling around. Just because people are religious doesn’t mean they don’t want to fuck or are attracted to others. It gets really hard for some as being LGBTQ sucks inside the church. But that was never me until the end and even then it never happened.

Back to me though, I have never thought the idea of casual sex was a smart one. Sex as an expression of friendship, companionship, love, and commitment are OK in my book, but the modern hookup culture doesn’t appeal to me. I guess sex in the context of a relationship is something I would do if I trust the person. I am just not into getting my rocks off and ghosting or being ghosted.

It’s why I left the online dating scene. Too much fronting and too much of it about getting laid instead of genuine relationships. I like sex, but I am not going to go through the cesspool of internet dating to get it. Until my shieldmaiden comes along, I am happy to just work on myself. Sex is something I long for as a man and my tastes are very masculine, but until the right partner comes along, I am happy with my body count of one.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Ruins” – A Poem

Happy Main’s Day!

“Ruins” by Edward W . Raby, Sr.

There was once life here

Now all is ruin

Window pains broken

Doorways with no doors

No roof.

We build this house brick by brick

Love was the mortar

We had children, raised them

We gave our love to them

Taking the mortar and giving it to them

Then they left.

We discovered the mortar of our love

Was cracked and crumbling – nothing.

But we had no time to reset it.

We continued to live giving it away

The roof collapsed

The bricks fell apart

We walked away

And now all is ruins.

A sad testimony to what was

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Love: All My Exes Don’t Live in Texas

Happy Freya’s Day!

So I start this new routine and here we are talking about love, sex, and relationships the first thing. Let’s stick with just love for this one. For me, and probably the rest of the human race love is complicated. For me specifically, it’s complicated by the fact that my heart is a stupid fuck that can’t stop loving a woman once it starts and this has massive problems long term.

It took me literally several years debating with myself, therapy, and several gut-wrenching decisions moments to divorce my wife. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her, but I didn’t feel loved by her, nor did I feel she was a person who gave me peace. We weren’t yelling at each other or anything like that, but the relationship became tired and old and no matter how much I tried on my end to point this out, it was ignored by a lack of desire to change that from her. When you pour out your guts to a woman about what’s wrong emotionally with your relationship and it takes three months for her to get back to you on it that is not good. That’s a communication problem and we had a big one which is me and her and not just her. We had counseling, read books, and yet – divorce.

Here is the funny part. I have no problem loving her. If in the course of our lives, and I told her this when we parted; if she needs a shoulder to cry on, a hug, kiss, or a love-making session, I am still there for her as a friend. I know her Christianity will never allow her to accept this. She would have to set it aside. But for my part, I consider her a friend and wish her nothing but happiness. I also have the weakness of if she really needed me I would respond.

My first love is happily married to someone else. She has kids and another life, but my heart still has a place for her. I still on rare occasions run across her and it’s awkward for me at least. Some weakness, if she were to ask for my help, I am there. I still wish her nothing but happiness.

Miss Salty. She hurt me and may have done it on purpose. She can’t help it though as she has some mental issues that I should have known were trouble. But I was broken myself at the time and vulnerable, so perhaps it was just two broken people trying to find peace in each other. It worked for a short time. Until it didn’t. Same weakness if she came into my life. I hope she finds happiness.

Maybe this is why I moved to Texas. Less chance of any of them walking into my life at this point at the random. I might have subconsciously needed the space for all of them to reset my love life. I am a bachelor now and while that comes with its own form of loneliness, it also has some tremendous freedoms to it in regard to what relationships I can have and what I can do in them. But that is a subject for next week.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Music and The Wayfarer

Happy Mani’s Day!

If you know me you know that my musical taste is very eclectic. Mostly, I tend to listen to music that reflects my emotions. Some people, a very few, have been able to figure out that if you want to know what iI am going through emotionally in my head all you really have to do is listen to my playlist. If you are emotionally inclined you can read between the lines and find the connections between the songs I am listening to and what I am thinking and feeling.

I have always been impressed by people who can read me this way. Miss Salty was one of these and it was sometimes scary how accurate she was. My ex-wife was not. Often she would just pass judgment on what I was listening to. She had no desire to know me in this way. The point I am making here is that the woman who can read my music and thus read me has an advantage. It’s a weakness, maybe. Or it is just a safer way for me to express my emotions without verbalizing them. I guess I would rather look at it as an open door to understanding the man who is The Grey Wayfarer.

Because my emotions change, what I listen to changes with it. It is probably also why I look for new music all the time because I do run into emotions that have no expression and I look for something musical to express them. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am not. But the search can be some of the most rewarding I have done. Especially when something new turns out to be perfect.

It’s probably why I don’t hate on any genre, but there are some I just don’t resonate with. Probably because what they express just isn’t me or my emotions.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Looking for A Shieldmaiden

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Since my divorce, I have dated a handful of times. Mostly this has ended in a “Meh” from both me and the woman. While I can’t speak for the woman’s side as the only feedback I got from a couple of them was – ‘it might be too early for you Ed.” Yeah, my brain says you are probably right, but my dick says otherwise. Never been a guy for one-night stands because I have figured my empathic nature requires that I have some sort of feeling for a woman before I would have sex with her. And let’s be honest, the whole female-male thing is about sex in large part, but a long-term relationship requires a different viewpoint. My situation requires that I be having sex for good emotional/relational reasons, not just physical ones.

There are, of course, other reasons for a man and woman to be involved with each other. I would still say the time-honored and tested method of having a good stable family is nuclear, although I think others work as well. Evolution created and society recognizes this in practicality, if not vocally. My reasons for having a woman in my life in a relationship are not a long list. The qualities I am looking for are, in my opinion, feminine strengths. Even if the woke and politically correct crowd does not recognize them as such. In short, I am looking for a Shieldmaiden.

  1. Fidelity – I don’t want to worry if she has my back or not. When the world tries to come at us as a couple, I want us to go automatically back to back and the world loses. I want a woman who is strong in her feminine nature but understands that being independent is about freedom of choices. It doesn’t mean we don’t need each other.
  2. Peace – Bring my life peace. Make my dick hard, not my life and I will not make you hot and bothered, not give you tears. By carrying each other’s burdens our overall load gets lighter. When things get chaotic, we turn to each other to calm the chaos. Our home is the pale of peace and safety and we both work hard to make it so.
  3. Intimacy – It is easy to point to the sexual side of intimacy and that is very important. But I want a woman who is intimate of mind and heart as well. Where the ‘pillow talk’ matters just as much as the sex before it; conversation just as much as coitus.

I don’t think that is asking too much and it’s not a long list. I know this is something that takes time to develop, but if this is the goal and desire, I am willing to make it so.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Poem – “Dried Salt”

Happy Tyr’s Day!

“Dried Salt” – by Ed Raby, Sr.

My tears have dried

Dried salt on my face.

Once your salt gave me joy

But now the savor has ended

All that remains is your salt on my cheeks

Memories of pain and sorrow traced in saline.

Joy, Happiness, Anger, Sadness, Loss, Grief

My tears tell the story of my life.

A history written in briny lines.

I long now for new salt on my cheeks

Where fresh wetness returns made of Joy and Happiness

If only the memories of your dried salt would fade

Writer’s Commentary: I said yesterday that my muse of grief and loss from Miss Salty seemed to have dried up and this is mostly true I still have a weakness for every girl I have loved in my life so that weakness for her remains. True for even my first love and my ex-wife. I care about them all and all of them have caused tears. I suppose my love for all of them will never completely fade away. But only one of them got the name Miss Salty as a nickname.

I guess my problem is that my desire for a woman in my life is one that gives me peace and intimacy. Life is turmoil and cold so you want the home to be the opposite of that. The woman in your life as a man should bring peace and intimacy. It’s all I really want.

Poetry is hard for me still because it was Miss Salty who taught me the core of it and how to express myself so It seems every time that tinge will be there of sadness. Wondering what my poems would look like if there was joy behind that relationship instead of loss and sadness.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Undying” – Skald Tales and Poems – Poem

Happy Mani’s Day! 

“Undying” – by Edward W. Raby, Sr. May 3-4, 2020

My love for you never dies

But that is not as good as it seems.

It drains me as it is not returned

Like a vampire’s kiss,

Thrilling and draining.

I give and get nothing.

You drain the blood of my love

From within it bleeds into you

But you are indifferent

Like a bored eternal vampire

you have moved on,

but I remain the one that is drained.

I miss what your love did for me,

but I hate what it does to me

If only it would die.

Perhaps I could slay this love

With a wooden stake peirce it forever

But I cannot – for it is undying.

Author’s Note’s

I am only going to note here that this is the first poem I have written in a while and I truly feel this. Perhaps it is no the greatest, but it is an expression of a part of my heart.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Viking Philosophy – Part 5 – Keep Your Camp in Order” – The Pagan Pulpit

Happy Sol’s Day!

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be (if any) either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Viking March”

Meditation:

 

Image may contain: 1 person, possible text that says 'If you don't fit in, then you are probably doing something right.'

Text:

Sermon: ‘Viking Philosophy – Part 4 – Keep Your Camp in Order.’

Perhaps some would say this applies only to camping but if one takes into account the fact that Vikings often would set up camps in a an area for months, then it becomes more about taking care of CAMP, as in wherever you are camping your ass at the time. There is also more here than tents and fires.

  1. Keep Things Tidy and Organized – Clean and organized is beneficial in all circumstances.  It always you find things quickly and if you need to pick up and move quickly, it is far easier.
  2. Arrange Enjoyable Activities Which Strengthen the Group – People need to be kept in order too but in a different way.  The more important thing is that during the time in camp the activities build morale and strengthen the group.
  3. Make Sure Everybody Does Useful Work – There is nothing worse in a camping situation than someone who is lazy.  Almost as bad, is someone who does things but they are useless to anybody.
  4. Consult All Members of the Group for Advice – Never leave anyone out and make sure all advice is heard.  Everyone has their perspective nad sees and hears things you do not as a leader. If everyone is consulted, then it gets easier to make things work and people will cooperate more.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: 1 person, beard, possible text that says 'I TALK I SMILE I LAUGH TOO BUT BE CAREFUL WHEN I'M LEN'

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!