Happy Freya’s Day!
I was teaching class one day and I had been given an assignment and was walking around making sure the students were working on it. Most of my students know I am divorced and thus single. The students were working and talking like students do and then one of my piped up and asked: “What’s your body count, Mr. Raby?” Several of the other students quickly remarked this was not a proper question to ask a teacher. I didn’t have to answer after that and I didn’t. It was quickly forgotten except by me.
I know what the question means as I have been single long enough to get the question through dating. For me, it is not a matter of pride or shame, but of faith. The number is one. My ex-wife was my only sex partner so far. Not that had I met up with the woman I had an affair with I might not have made it two at the time. The reason is simply that one does not fool around in Christianity, at least in theory.
In reality, I lost track of the affairs I knew about in my churches as a pastor. I also lost track of the people who were discovered fooling around. Just because people are religious doesn’t mean they don’t want to fuck or are attracted to others. It gets really hard for some as being LGBTQ sucks inside the church. But that was never me until the end and even then it never happened.
Back to me though, I have never thought the idea of casual sex was a smart one. Sex as an expression of friendship, companionship, love, and commitment are OK in my book, but the modern hookup culture doesn’t appeal to me. I guess sex in the context of a relationship is something I would do if I trust the person. I am just not into getting my rocks off and ghosting or being ghosted.
It’s why I left the online dating scene. Too much fronting and too much of it about getting laid instead of genuine relationships. I like sex, but I am not going to go through the cesspool of internet dating to get it. Until my shieldmaiden comes along, I am happy to just work on myself. Sex is something I long for as a man and my tastes are very masculine, but until the right partner comes along, I am happy with my body count of one.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
One thought on “Sex – “What’s Your Body Count, Mr. Raby?””
Sex is about connection, about being known. I won’t reveal the number of years here, but at my age (64) and the fact of my nearly non-existent social life (work from home, introversion and social anxiety), it’s almost in the category of those things that one leaves behind as one ascends that mountain of latter years. At a certain point, you turn your way, decide what things you’ll take. And as you go, you see things by the wayside, left by other travelers. I heard the aphorism that the first part of life is collecting, and the second is letting go. That’s now my experience, as well. My heartfelt desire is for a partner, a cozy cuddle, someone who expects me to be home by a certain hour, but the reality is, unless he shows up somehow on my doorstep, ain’t gonna happen.
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