Grey Avatar – ‘Spiked Coffee’ – Part 1 of a Grey Wayfarer Serial

Happy Sif’s Day!

Grey Avatar – Part 1

I can speak from personal experience that if you are tired enough, you can sleep anywhere. In my case, I was sleeping on a park bench in the city’s main park. I slept here because the police had a tendency to patrol the roads where they could look into the park but rarely got out to deal with the homeless vagabonds like myself. Luckily it was also the middle of spring and the weather was arming up. I could get by with my jacket and trail boots. Didn’t like hats unless it was super cold.

Waking up, I realized I had slept Into mid-morning or so by the sun. It was chilly but not windy. A perfect day in some people’s minds. I sat up and checked all my things. Everything was present from my backpack to my trail boots. I was getting better at being vagabond and homeless.

How long had it been now – a year. That terrible day when my whole life had crumbled. They had pronounced her dead you see – my wife that is. I didn’t go back to work and then one day I just packed everything into my backpack and walked out. I haven’t been back. I have learned how little it takes to be and stay alive since that day.

If you see me on the street though, you would not think me homeless. I know ways to keep my hygiene up to snuff and keep my clothes in good repair. I pay attention to my hygiene and appearance. I even have a debit card and what little I earn goes into it. It’s enough to afford a gym membership to one of those national chains. So always a place to work out and shower is available to me and I use them. I have gotten in good shape (muscled and still standing tall despite my age), and daily showered, brush my teeth, and trim my beard. My beard is getting grey like my medium hair. Try to get a haircut once a couple months and then it is usually a buzz cut (minus the beard) so I can grow it a while before the next haircut.

It’s my eyes that tell you that I am different. If my wife were alive and you asked her, she would tell a tale of how she fell in love with my grey-blue eyes which she would describe as getting lost in the sea after a storm. It’s the one place you can look at my face and still see me as I was – hopeful, but sad. My fifty-five years weigh heavy, but I still stand straight as I can.

I wander. It’s what I do now. I don’t stay in a single place for more than a few weeks. Then I look up the next city that has a gym where I have a membership and move on to that one. I work a little and observe. I do a lot of watching people. Lovers, partners, workers, street vendors, police, and others. I see them all and for a short time watch their story unfold in front of me. Then I write what I see in my notebook. Once a notebook is full, I mail it to a friend to keep for me. She is the only one who knows where I am at all times and is sworn to silence. I don’t have a phone or address, so she can’t write back. But she promised to keep the notebooks until I return to get them.

Today I met a most interesting person. I would not be exaggerating if I were to say this person changed my life forever, but it is one of those tales that may require many entries to tell. I am not even sure of my own sanity at this point which I have heard means I am perfectly sane just perhaps have experienced a shock.

It started with meeting a fellow vagabond. Older than me and looking far more interesting. He looked like a wizard of sorts with his long beard and hair that was pure white. He was wearing a jacket and jeans so that through off the wizard vibes. But he had a long staff-like walking stick that was actually pretty cool with its steel banded ends. I looked a little opulent for him as the rest of him suggested wanderer,

He, interestingly enough, also had a cape with a hood that he kept over his head just enough to hide his eye. Yes, I said eye because where his left eye would be was an eyepatch of black fabric. Under the cape the bulge of a medium-sized backpack was apparent. He walked straight and tall which indicated for his age he must be still in great health and shape. But his face was otherwise lined with lines of concern and courage. If you get that you get that.

He approached me and I stiffened up naturally as I tend to do when I know someone wants to talk to me, but I don’t know who they are. I was intrigued by this man, but I could sense that he was not all he seemed to be on the surface. When he spoke, his voice was both wise and commanding.

“Leif Johanson, I have need of your assistance.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I know many things. Your name is simple enough to know”

I paused here checking my brain for any time I had revealed my true name to anyone. I don’t use it much except when needed for financial or legal matters, which are very few anymore.

“So what do you want with me, seeing you have gone through the trouble of finding out my name?”

“It was very little trouble actually, let’s just say a bird told me.”

It was then I noticed the two ravens. One was sitting on one of the branches near our conversation. For the life of me, I didn’t hear it fly to that spot even though I had been on this bench all morning. The other was further away sitting on a garbage can. Suddenly I felt more watched than ever. An uncomfortable feeling for a people watcher and a wanderer who likes to fly under the radar.

The stranger chuckled at his statement and I was now more uncomfortable.

“So what do you want with me?”

“Well, let’s not talk here. I would rather we talk over coffee. That coffee shop behind us will do. You can hear me out and I will buy you whatever drink you like and given the chill this morning we will both know the simple pleasure of a warm place, a warm drink, and a warm conversation, business though it may be. Will you accept my hospitality and hear me out?”

I did not dislike him but there was something about him that caused me to be on edge. But my ethics about hospitality, seeing he used the word, is that it is rude to turn it down if offered as hospitality. Just as rude as not to give it when necessity demands it.

“Very well, I accept your hospitality sir.”

We entered the coffee shop and found it empty as it was mid-morning. The early rush was over and the staff was waiting for the noon one in a couple of hours. We ordered our drinks. I ordered my standard hot chocolate, as I don’t like hot coffee very much, but I did want a warm-up before I returned to the park. The man I was with ordered black coffee but with a coffee bean I knew was expensive. He had high tastes. Who am I to say anything about this. In the summer I would be buying an iced coffee ( I prefer mine cold) and with the same attention to the bean I wanted. Vagabonds have their rich excentricities at times.

Once we got our drinks which only took the staff a couple minutes we found a seat as far away from the counter as the stranger I was with would walk. He wanted our conversation to be private as much as possible, apparently.

“Yes, this will do.”, he said.

At first, we said nothing as he pulled out a flask from inside his coat and added some of its contents to his coffee, and then offered some to me.

“More of your hospitality?”

“Yes, actually. This is mead. It will both sweeten your drink and enlighten your mind.

I nodded my acceptance, as I felt once again that hospitality rules required it. I didn’t think this man had any more to do with me other than offering me a proposal and this was a public place. I didn’t think the coffee would be spiked.

The mead combined with my hot chocolate was delightful. I actually felt fairly warm after a few sips and I felt a little more alert and mindful. If it was spiked I felt it would do the opposite, so genuinely magical. Perhaps my new acquaintance was a wizard after all or at least an alchemist.

“Thanks, this is very good.”

“Welcome, now to my proposal.”

Then he touched my hand and the world faded from existence.

End of Part 1

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Future

Happy Tyr’s Day!

According to Norse Mythology Odin sacrificed one of his eyes to see the future. Right now my future is uncertain and would probably do the same to get some form of clarity as to what the future holds for me. That said I do not subscribe to the idea of a fate that is inescapable. More of a Stoic notion of fate where fate is more of what you can’t control in life and my attitude and actions in response or being proactive against what I know is coming is more the thing for me. The tapestry of fate has many weavers, but I weave my thread within it according to my decisions and actions.

There are many things I ponder as I look to the future. Currently, I am technically homeless living with my son and his significant other. I have a place to sleep and work on myself and I am content with this. I have some leads in the housing situation but I feel that takes time.

I do have a job that starts tomorrow so that is progress of a sort. I need to keep my eyes open for more opportunities but then again, I have other projects in the fire so a simple job of 32-40 hours is a welcome relief and allows me some time to pursue them. The real trick with Stoic philosophy is to enjoy where you are now and be present in the now. Learning to be ready to act in the moment is a big thing for me now and I make my plans accordingly.

What I now focus on is finding a way to make money doing things I enjoy and have alternative streams of income (passive if possible) that allow me to get closer to being more secure financially without being burdened with doing something I dislike. The job I now have will be a good base, I need to expand with a few things to make the situation better.

I had some success as a YouTuber, but I feel the focus of my channel was too niche at the time. I want to create something where I can educate and engage in my interests at the same time this time. Yeah, I am going back into that arena and I hope I can monetize it this time. But the work now is in the concept stage and I hope to launch on February 1st.

The other possibility is writing. I like writing and being a writer but I think I need to get my priorities straight about it. I need to write with selling it in mind. I can still write what I want but editing has to be more along the lines of what will sell to the public. What will they pay for? I am still in a meditative state on this trying to figure it out.

So now for the new part:

To-Do List 1-24-23:

  1. Store my belongings someplace safe – My car is still full of stuff and I need to deal with it.
  2. Apply for the apartment I found.
  3. Go to the gym and get a good workout in.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Norse Mythology – Odin’s Horse – “Sleipnir”

Happy Tyr’s Day!

I am not much for horses. I prefer to walk or drive a car. But mythology has Odin possessing a horse which is a product of Loki being a mare and the builder’s horse in one of the stories being a stallion that impregnates him. Loki gave birth to Sleipnir, a horse with eight legs and considered the best of all horses. Odin rides Sleipnir during the Wild Hunt and he is the only known horse that can ride into Helheim and come back.

Based on this mythology, the Vikings most certainly valued horses for their speed and endurance. You don’t see Vikings with calvary that I am aware of but you do see them being used to delivering messages and the occasional rescue. Mostly Vikings fought on foot or with their longships. The longship was their mode of transport which made them truly one of the first effective amphibious assault warriors as well as using their ship to engage in hit and run tactics. Horses seem to be more specialized for them.

Odin doesn’t start out with Sleipnir as in some of the stories he flies being able to transform himself into flying birds. Transport isn’t the issue for Odin. Sleipnir seems to be an addition to Odin’s menagerie but it does make me wonder if Odin rode in the early stories of the Wild Hunt or did he just go on foot.

There are practical things in life that change for us. Sometimes gaining something new gains us abilities we didn’t have before. For me, I suppose this is best seen in the fact that I don’t run from new technology. I actually enjoy it. Perhaps it is my way of adding Sleipnir to my life. My apartment is a slightly smart one with Alexa, smart lights, and a camera for security. I don’t know specifically what Sleipnir would be to me other than this. Maybe I will think of something that makes philosophical sense at a later time.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Mythology – “Geri and Freki” – Odin’s Wolves

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Odin also has his two wolf companions. Geri and Freki are Odin’s extra muscles. What they represent as ‘Hunger’ and ‘Fury’ is another matter. Some call this Passion and Anger. Need and Want are what I call them. Hunger and Desire. We all have certain things we need to survive, and some of us are further blessed with the philosophy to not only survive but thrive and prosper. For me, it is this dual aspect of Odin’s Wolves that I find interesting.

When people look at wolves some see evil and some see good. I don’t see either but rather the simple wild creature who is free. The concept of a domesticated wolf is one I raise my eyebrow at now. Mostly because Odin’s wolves seem to hang out with him but are they really ‘his’.

What they represent to me in my philosophy is the concept of the hunt for what one needs and what one wants. It’s OK to feed these wolves because they lead to living longer (survival) and prospering (building something better). Nothing wrong with either of these things.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Norse Mythology – Hugin and Munin (Odin’s Ravens)

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Of course, the image of Odin is not complete without some references to some of the creatures and objects associated with him. The first I would like to highlight is Odin’s ravens Hugin and Munin. Thought and Memory, Reason and Experience, or whatever similar combinations you can give them.

The purpose of their existence for Odin is to search the earth and then report back to Odin what they see. Based on this Odin then sets his plans and his wonderings. For all practical purposes, they are Odin’s scouts.

Ravens were used by Vikings for a lot of things but one thing is for certain their behavior was watched and the Norse people and Vikings used them to tell certain things about what was going on around them. Raven could sense land and be often released from ships to be followed so the Vikings would know which way to go when they neared land.

Symbolically Hugin and Munin could be considered the scouts of the human mind. The idea for me is that if one uses Reason and Experience effectively, then one can see a clear path ahead in order to navigate to get what one wants. Pursuit of what you Need and Want requires good reconisance and that for the human being is performed by one’s mind through reason and filtering it all through experience.

Of course, you then need the drive to pursue what you need and want. But that is the subject for next week’s post on Norse Mythology.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Norse Mythology – Odin

Happy Tyr’s Day!

I want it to be very clear here that as an atheist I do not believe in the literal god Odin. However, I believe the values and aspirations of the Norse/Germanic people are expressed in the stories they tell about their gods. Mythology, if nothing else, is mostly stories that have moral and ethical lessons to them. Things to meditate on and learn the values presented. In all mythology the values of the people who created the mythology are evident.

Odin has always fascinated me. Sure most people look at Thor and think what a cool God. But Thor is a pure warrior with very little magic. Odin on the other hand not only has magic but the magic that is often reserved for women. He has foresight. It is this foresight that drives him to do what he does. He either is trying to prevent what he sees from happening or trying to delay it. He is both a warrior and a mage.

In simple terms, Odin is a conservative in that he tries to conserve the nine worlds as they are and prevent their end. He likes the current state of things and wants to keep it intact. Ragnarok isn’t the end of existence so much as it is a complete change of existence and that is what he is trying to avoid.

To this end, he wanders the world as a solitary person looking for wisdom, power, and knowledge to forestall Ragnarok. He is so dedicated, that he loses an eye, hangs on a tree upside down for nine days, etc. He makes extraordinary sacrifices to conserve what is. To protect what is his own.

In leadership, Odin is different from most chief gods in that he seems to be more of a chairman of the board than a king. He listens to the other gods, tries to build concensus, and then enforces the decision they all made together. In this last part, he acts more like a king. He makes sure ‘the will of the gods’ as a whole is respected and honored.

He has his flaws. He doesn’t seem to think of the possibility that at times his actions might be bringing about the ends he is trying to avoid. The whole story of Fenrir illustrates this point. He foresees his end in the fangs of Fenrir so he tries to take action to diminish Fenrir’s power. In so doing, he actually creates Fenrir’s motivation to destroy him. It also has an incredible cost that could have been avoided -Tyr’s hand is lost. If he rather befriended Fenrir, the outcome might have been very different.

Of course, for me, the image of the wandering god both warrior and wizard is the theme of this blog so it is fitting I talk about him first.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Wayfarer”

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Wayfarer

Alone he walks

The snow crunches

beneath his feet.

He is the Wayfarer

The Walker of Paths

He wanders

But he is not lost.

He seeks

He looks for the wisdom

Of the old, the new

And his fellow travelers

Spear in hand for protection

His friends

Two ravens, Two wolves.

He wanders

He walks

He is the Wayfarer

Author’s commentary:

I fell in love with the imagery of Odin a long time ago. I however didn’t realize that is what the original myth was that I was enjoying because I was reading Lord of the Rings and the character was Gandalf, the Grey. But Tolkien took his inspiration from mythology and in this case Odin.

When I finally did get to Norse mythology as a teen the image of Odin appealed to me. The man leading his people trying to delay his fate and the fate of the Nine Worlds. Trying to delay Ragnorok. Warrior and Wizard all in one. The interesting thing is he doesn’t go out and build an army to fight but takes the role of a humble traveler looking not for strength, but knowledge.

I take for myself the moniker The Grey Wayfarer in honor of this inspiration and in truth this was my inspiration not just for this blog but also for some of my interests. I am a scholar and teacher but I lift weights with a warrior’s mind and discipline. I hike, you don’t get much more Wayfarer than that. I guess I came to see my self-image resonate with this image and this poem is a reflection of that.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“It Begins” – Heimdall’s Discipline

Happy Sif’s Day!

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Vision Point: To develop and follow a results-focused nutritional plan that results in fat loss, muscle gain or maintenance, and a lower A1c with the result of a body fat percentage of 8% or lower and a normal A1c by December 31, 2021.

Journal Entry:

Alright. Starting tomorrow it all begins in full force. I have a lot of disicpline to get back to doing and the main enemy will be myself. The most important thing is to be both hard on myself and patient at the same time.

I chose Heimdall for disicpline as to me he embodies someone totally dedicated to a task. A attitude i need ot develop with all my plans at this point. Be dedicated to the task first, then enjoy life second.

The goal here is healthy diet and nutrition and that has long been the most challenging thing for me, but when I have been on, I feel great in a lot of ways. By the end of next year the body fat needs ot be down and the A1c needs to be in the normal range. To do that requires disiplined eatingg habits.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Using the Gods” – Sif’s Independence (Self-Reliance)

Happy Thor’s Day!

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Vision Point: Be Debt Free by December 31, 2022.

Journal Entry:

In this reworking of my blog, I needed new subtitles for my entries; Foundational, Business and Self being used before. With the need for twelve of these things – one for each virtue – I decided to use the gods and goddesses of Norse mythology to set my posts off. You have already seen Tyr assocaited with Honor and now Self-Reliance is set off by Sif.

I chose Sif because nothing says self-reliance or independence quite like a person who has their own land and works it for themselves. Times may change, but the notion of owning that which brings independence remains the same.

As I redo these you will see which god or goddess gets assocaited with which virtue. Some you may guess easily, others might be more dififuclt.

Until next time.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“New Journal Post Format” – Tyr’s Honor

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Vision Point : Maintain my YouTube Channel with at least two videos uploaded a week and reach the goal of 100 subscribers.

Journal:

This is the first journal post in the new format. The first channge being that each of twelve virtues I talk aobut will be connected to a Norse God or Goddess. I still have these organized into foundaitonal, business and self virtuesm, but that won’t be as in your face as before.

The second part is this is much shorter. State the virute, the vision point and then journal thoughts about both and life in general.

Honor has always been a trouble spot for me. I find that much of my struggles with honor stem from the fact in order to keep mine, I have had to far too often give up my own happiness. Finding an honorable path that also makes me happy has been the struggle.

YouTube has provided me a new pulpit of sorts. I like it and so far the at least two uploads has been maintianed and I am about 58 subscribers away from 100.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!