Love

54 – My Birthday and My Goals for Healthy Next Year

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sif’s Day and Happy Birthday to Me!

I am Detroit Lions Fan so I in general have a respectful hatred for all things Chicago Bears. That said, when I was picking the number 54 to represent one of the best for the number of my age 54, Brian Urlacher went to the front of the class. Got to give the Devil his due. The man could Ball. Linebacker sized, fast as safety, and skilled. I was happy to see him retire so the Lions wouldn’t have to face him twice a year anymore.

So today I turn 54. I can’t lean into my early fifties anymore with that number, we are definitely middle fifties now. I have tried to turn my birthday back in but no one wants to take it. So I guess I will own it for as long as it gets mileage. My birthday has one redeeming feature, it works far better than New Year for changing my life’s course. This year My goal is to get healthy in a lot of areas.

  1. Physically I want to get back to pre-COVID. Muscled. leaned out with good strength, endurance, and flexibility. I was in the best shape of my life in March 2020 and then we all know what happened to take us all away from the gym which in retrospect was a bad thing overall. I want to look the part of the sexy over-50 man, so this is the year.
  2. Emotionally and Mentally I need to be in a better place. To that end, I want to work on getting back to being a creative educator. This may take some time. I also renewed my relationship with my therapist. I am hoping to be more disciplined and focused going forward in my life.
  3. Financial Health needs to be a focus this year. I need more income than working for the world’s largest brick-and-mortar retailer can provide. This involves creating some income streams outside the norm. As well as looking for better career choices.
  4. Family/Friends: I feel like communication needs to be a focus this year and given that I seem at times to be the source of my family’s anxiety. I want to change that if at all possible. I just tend to be reserved and quiet most of the time.
  5. Love: I would like if at all possible, to be in love by this time next year with a woman who makes me better. I am good being a bachelor, but I mess with having a confident, lover and partner in crime. Not going to force it, but I am looking harder for it.

Well, I have soem work to do. Hopefully tomorrow I will be starting my D&D series and then the rotation for this and a few other projects will be rolling. This year is about learning and implementing things for good personal health in a lot of areas.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Valentine’s Day – Mixed Feelings

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Now that I am divorced and single, Valentine’s Day gives me a lot of mixed feelings.

Of course, I wish I could celebrate the love I have for someone on this day, but that isn’t going to happen so being the follower of Stoic philosophy that I am I am focusing on the positive.

  1. I don’t have to spend money on gifts and that means saving for me.
  2. I can focus on the possibilities of who I might get to be my new life partner.
  3. I also can smile at how feminine this holiday is.

Going to be blunt this is about romance and so is more of a female holiday. I have long been a supporter of a more masculine holiday in March My favorite is using March 14th as Beer, Steak, and a Blowjob Day. This lines up with more masculine wants. Valentine’s Day is not going to get you beer, or a steak spending your own money and while sexy time might happen on Valentine’s but it’s going to be romantic sex which is OK but sometimes as a man you just want the girl to do the work to show you how much she loves you.

Not to mention this is a Christian holiday, named after a Christian ‘saint’. Freya doesn’t mess too much around with Romance. She once was accused of fucking every god in Asgard. She never denied this, but she did say Loki had bad manners for accusing her in front of everyone. The fact she was sexually active with more than one partner was not considered a shame in that she did it. I tend to take this view about sex as well. It’s just that society frowns on this attitude, and I just don’t want the hassle.

Maybe that is why when I look at holidays that are supposedly secular and know the religious origins, I just have trouble getting into the ones based on Christian holidays. Most of the rest are pagan holidays that Christianity stole so you can convert them back.

Maybe next Valentine’s I will be with someone special and my feeling will be more on par with normal. But today, I am just mixed about the whole thing,

Goals for Today:

  1. Settling up my shelves when they arrive – hopefully. This is two shelves and represents a lot of time so it is my only goal for today

Yesterday’s goals were both achieved. Hoping to start therapy soon and waiting on on landlord.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Learning to Focus

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Freya’s Day!

Right now I have the time to step back and regain my focus. I have certain areas of my life that I am trying to improve on and I need to refocus on them. So this post will be listing them and saying a few words to clarify for both you the gentle reader and myself.

  1. Writing – There are basically two habits I need to put in place and that is the writing itself, and no good writer is worth anything without also being a reader. But in reading I don’t want to read as much as I want to study the book I am reading. Quality of quantity.
  2. Media Presence – In this case Youtube Channel and all that goes with it. I figure at two videos a week I should be good. But that requires a regular system of recording, editing, and presenting.
  3. Health – Lifting, hiking, and dieting.
  4. Money – Multiple income streams. I need my job currently to make ends meet but I need more streams of income to pay off debt and get my cabin in the woods eventually. Minimalism and being a Stoic NNV following Viking are my means to this end and the subject of my Youtube channel.
  5. Love – I am not very good on my own. I need to fall in love again and have that woman in my life that makes me better. That said my system here is to simply be who I am and put that out there.
  6. Family – need to come up with a system that improves my communication with my kids and keeps it more regular.

So there are a lot of habits and systems to create here. I need to overlap and build them into morning and evening routines and other systems. Things need to overlap and support each other.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Am I Being Flirted With?

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

I am really dense when it comes to flirting at times. I mean, I know when I am flirting with a woman, but I am never quite sure about them. I really need a woman who flirts overtly like in a lot of the old pin-ups. I mean the girl above probably ‘accidentally’ spilled ketchup on her dress with the ‘accidental’ effect of her lifting her skirt so the guy with her can now see her hose, garters, and panties, but back then I don’t think so. This was overt flirting with sex as the end goal. No woman back then who was even remotely concerned about her reputation would have done this without forethought. I mean she could keep her skirt down and ask for a napkin. Nope, this is ‘hey, we might need to rent a hotel room so I can change into something else seeing I have ruined my dress. As a gentleman, I hope you get what I mean and have a condom.” Wink.

For me, women seem more subtle than this in some ways and less in others. Women today are far more likely to talk sexy and be less overt in actions. At least it seems that way to me. I feel a lot of women are very comfortable with this because the reputation of sexual activity is not as big as it used to be. Joan Jett changed a lot in the 80s I would say. That said body language is still there. It’s just harder for me to read. I really wish women wore skirts and dresses more. Seems like women could do more flirty stuff with that, although jeans are nice as far as the view but every woman wears them so it’s not flirting per se.

I don’t know. I have had women seem like they are flirting with me, Being overly nice to me, and genuinely concerned. I have even had a couple position themselves in such a way that I can’t help but look at either their butt or cleavage. But is that woman not giving a shit anymore or is it flirting? Modern Dating is confusing. I wouldn’t have a problem if it wasn’t for the fact that I feel with the right female partner I would be a better person. If I am in love, I tend to push myself far harder than otherwise. I want to impress my girl even with my failures and at least my effort. I do OK alone, but in love, I tend to be even better. Women I am in love with are magic to me. Especially the ones that show me their boob magic. 🙂 If you didn’t chuckle at that, you are not the one. I tend to have a dirty mind most of the time and like a woman who can go there with me.

I have made my requirement pretty clear in past posts – 1) Loyal to me – when the shit hits the fan especially. 2) Her presence brings me peace and 3) Desire for intimacy on all levels – mental, emotional, and physical. Other than that I am pretty open. Body type just needs to be curvy in some way and can be from Fit to Hilda as long as they take care of themselves. Being comfortable in their bare skin is a definitely plus as well as being comfortable being feminine.

Maybe some of the women in the room can give me some pointers when a woman is flirting with me. I tend to like clear communication here to avoid some pitfalls. The kind of subtlety that the old pin-up girls seem to make so clear to the men they were flirting with. I get that old-school language, it’s the new school that throws me.

No Goals Today as one thing remains in front of everything else. – getting into my new apartment ad getting my routines and systems in place. Monday is when that begins. I hope.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The New Year: “Be It Resolved…”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

Anyone who knows me also knows that I do not hold much to New Year’s Resolutions. I do however believe in a quarterly assessment of my goals and vision for myself. If the new year is valuable to me it is in the assessment of progress and a change of course that is planned. A course correction and seeing I am completely off course, time to chart from where I am at to where I would like to be next year. I think this year I will head in the direction of ‘be it resolved by the end of 2023, I will…” Then list the needed things to change.

1 – Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, my morning routine will be well established.” My routine every morning will help with a lot of my coping mechanisms. In fact, most of it is a list of my coping mechanisms in action. 1) Get Up Early and Make Bed, 2) Meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues (5 min), 3) Full Body Stretch, 4) Weight Lifting, 5) Good Breakfast, 6) Hygiene Routine, 7) Get Dressed, 8) Reading – 3 chapters, 9) Write – Rough Draft or Edit and Post for the Blog. Yes, I will be writing every other day from now on. The main focus here is me and keeping my depression from hitting me by keeping myself healthy and mentally focused.

2. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will return to Michigan. I need to get back to a place where my depression bothers me less. It is closer to family and hiking, camping, etc. I love. Michigan people are my people. Houston just incites my depression. too much

3. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will change careers from teaching to something less stressful and just as or more lucrative. I need to finish my contract, but after that, I am done. This means everything currently must be up to snuff as far as credentials, professional development, training, etc. Then on to what? I don’t know that yet. Kind of like returning to the land you left to find out what has changed that you can take advantage of. I guess part of the challenge will be the discovery.

4. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will more actively pursue my new love – my shieldmaiden – if she will have me. I need to find her first. But something tells me the way to attract such a woman would be simply to be the best man I can be and see who is attracted to that. I think the only thing I am going to do here is, move to Michigan and then just be me. I do think I am going to be growing a full beard. Something like the gentleman below but my coloring will be different. Going to make myself into the healthiest, most masculine, and the sexiest old man I can be and see which female warrior is attracted to that. Time for this Odin avatar to find his Frigg.

5. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will be at peace with myself in better ways. 1) I need to write beyond the blog., 2) I need to find that outlet I need to be a voice. The Rabyd Atheist was my pulpit for a couple years, but I stopped because I realized how dangerous it is to have social media career and be a teacher. I actually am taking a bit of risk even with this blog. This is probably one other good reason to change to something that does not have that risk. 3) Have paid off as much debt as possible by the end of the year. The move is going to take money, but I think most of the small bills will be gone by February, and then it is my car. If I move back to Michigan with nothing but student loans, I will be in good shape.

So there it is – my five – “Be it resolved”. Should be an interesting year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Love – “Runes”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Freya’s Day!

I know the combination of the Viking Runes and Love might be a little puzzling but it’s the whole mysterious thing that I am going for. The Viking Runes are without a doubt mysterious in a lot of ways and while there are a lot of theories as to what they mean, not a lot definitive is known.

This ignorance hasn’t stopped people from playing the game of trying to figure out the Runes or co-opting them for their own purposes or adding their own meaning to them. This means any discussion of the Runes becomes either very hypothetical, theoretical or just what runes mean to each person.

Doesn’t that sound a little like the concept of love? I think the mystery of anything, particularly something most of us consider a virtue or a necessity, causes us to engage in even more emotional attachment.

Love is one of those virtues that I pursue. To be seen as a loving person. To do this requires waking the trail of mystery. To walk without complete understanding or knowledge of what love is is par for the course. Changing loves applications and meanings. Give the correlations – just maybe the runes are all about love.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – “Courage – Fear is a Choice”

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

“I will face my fears and defend my family and kindred from all dangers”

As a Christian, I was sold on the notion that perfect love casts out fear. Until you realize that the organized monotheistic religions all live and continue to exist based on fear of hell or punishment. There is no real love in it. So love doesn’t really cast out fear.

There is also the statement that Fear is not real. But the statement kind of indicates fear is a choice. I am not sure about that completely, but I get the sentiment that we choose in some ways to let fear paralyze us. It is a choice to be fearful. Or perhaps we chose to deal with our fears by either submitting to them or dismissing them and forging forward despite them.

The only part of this philosophy I truly follow when it comes to the Nine Noble Virtues is to face my fear and defend those who I love as an action. Courage is the force that overcomes these. Courage is the choice to defend rather than to run.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Relationships – “Look at the Long Haul”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Freya’s Day!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about what I am looking for in a woman in the Post: Looking for a Shieldmaiden. In that post, I said I was looking for three main qualities: Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy.

The reason I was looking for these qualities is that these qualities are long-term. I have no desire to enter temporary relationships because my time is limited. No time to play around with games and such. More of a both of us placing what we have on the table and looking at a simple question – can we build something with this that will last?

THat’s why the qualities of Fidelity, Peace, and Intimacy. Fidelity, so we stay with it. Peace – Because prosperity is not built by conflict. Intimacy – the mortar that holds it together. Long-term building materials.

It takes work to maintain a good relationship but also takes good building materials and that is why I want a Shieldmaiden.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – “Nine to Three to One”

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

When I first started this blog I would talk about the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and then talk about the three higher vitrues of Love, Justice and Wisdom. I still beleive in these higher virtues I will jsut talk about to them less becasue as I have tried ot live my life by the NNV I now recognize that these higher virtues simply are more and more just a result of living the NNV. It’s simply a matter of growth.

This has led me to seeing that all virtues in the NNV form the threefold cord of Justice, Love and Wisdom. These three virtues form the Noble Life. This is the one goal – a life that is lived in nobility of character and humanity. The Nine form the Three and the three twist into the life that is lived in nobility. A Noble Life is the ultimate goal of the NNV.

The big thing for me as why I follow this philosophy is that anyone can do this. Wealth or skill or experience does not matter. What matters is that one pursue virtues to get to the noble life lived. Nine to three to one.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – Interconnected

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) each have their own purpose. The surprising thing is how much they overlap and often two or more virtues work in you t the same time. Discipline, Industriousness, and Self-Reliance often work together to bring prosperity into one’s life. Fidelity and Self-Reliance provide a balance between not being a burden to others while at the same time being a support to family and friends.

For me, there have been other aspects. I used to group the virtues by function in the past, and I no longer do that. The idea that some virtues are more in tune with love or justice or wisdom was something I thought until I realized that by living the nine virtues, all nine lead to being a person with these qualities. It’s a simple change, but in my meditations, I realize truth can be about love, justice, or wisdom. sometimes all three at once. I realized I was limiting what each virtue could do by such assumptions and categories.

This actually simplified things rather than complicated them. I now can meditate on the NNV without really keeping each one of them in a box. I don;t have to have a filter as to where they must go. Life meets virtue and what virtue might be the most helpful at that moment could be any one of them. It’s both freeing and simplified.

I find myself these days meditating on this interconnectedness far more than each virtue on its own. How do they twist into that cord or symbol that is the whole of being a virtuous person? It’s refreshing in some ways.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!