The Game of Life – Retiring to Become a Philosopher.

Happy Odin’s Day!!!

When I was a kid I played many games and still do. Until I got older and was introduced to strategy and RPG games, one of my favorites was The Game of Life. One thing I remember distinctly about the version we had was there was the millionaire mansion side if you won. Everyone else who lost got to retire to a small cottage and became a philosopher. There is an emphasis on the accumulation of wealth in The Game of Life and at that time it was a simple assumption that the person who had the most won (or you could put everything you owned on two numbers and won if you spun them) and the losers were the ones who ‘retired as a Philosopher. When I was a kid, I thought this was sensible.

Now, I long to be a retired philosopher. Too bad being a philosopher doesn’t pay so well. But that is now my dream job. Just sitting in your house and thinking has a strange appeal to me right now. I made a mistake coming to Texas and trying to be a Public School Teacher. It’s not the kind of mistake you know it’s a mistake before you get there, but more in retrospect.

So what to do from here for my 53 year-old ass? I am not sure. But prehaps there is a way to find the path. Be the philosopher while doing something else. Or maybe I will just have to put everything I got on two numbers ans spin the wheel.

The one thing I know for sure is that all should be doen with my own happiness and well being in mind.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Why I am Leaving Teaching for Good

Happy Thor’s Day!

I spent a lot of time during the Christmas Break pondering what I needed to do for the future. I had concluded that I needed to return to Michigan after year one in Texas but what about teaching itself. “Do I even like to teach anymore?” was the burning question this holiday season. The answer became ‘No.’ Slowly what has developed is a list of things of why, not only I need to go back home to Michigan, but also why I need to leave the profession of teaching far behind. In the end, I have a lot of personal, professional, and philosophical reasons to leave it behind and go do something else.

Personally, the list is pretty long. 1) This job triggers my high-functioning depression a lot. I do not enjoy life as a whole right now, and I am fighting through it and trying to get back to coping mechanisms that keep it from being overwhelming. 2) I don’t like Texas or Houston very much. It’s not the people, it’s the environment. 3) I am very alone here in this situation. My family support is very distant and that is my fault. 4) I don’t enjoy the job anymore. I don’t know how this happened, but right before the break I simply thought to myself ‘I don’t like this anymore, not any bit of it.” 5) I feel like I am back in the ministry emotionally and in my last year before I left that profession – and it has only been a year and a half. I am already struggling to keep going emotionally, and that is not a good sign. I don’t seem to have the ability to leave work at work with this one and that is not good for me personally. 6) The money is good, but if I am looking at the possibility of even retiring, I need to do better. Or do I need to simply go into business for myself? Lot questions here, the one positive I will be taking home from this raid into Texas is a lot of my debt will be paid off.

Professionally, There have been so many changes this year that have robbed me of what I enjoyed about the job. I liked the process of writing lessons and figuring out what to do each day, adjusting as I went. No, our team pretty much wrote everything out ahead of time and I feel like we are being forced into a style that does not fit me. I also was told by some that I wasn’t really teaching. What they meant was I was not teaching the way they were taught in school that teaching is. I find this narrow conception of what teaching is to be my largest issue with my colleagues who graduated with education degrees. I also feel the profession of education has too much about it like this.

Philosophically, I am way too libertarian for this job. Public education is all the things we libertarians say it is. Operant conditioning is bothersome at best to me. I now know why the media uses certain terms so much. It’s about conformity, not freedom. I actually find myself applauding my students who are rebels. I am also becoming more supportive of parents who decided on alternative forms of educating their children. This system is built by politicians and bureaucrats and it shows. The fact that one cannot be a teacher and be vocal about issues without the risk of losing one’s job is also bothersome. Time to leave as soon as practical.

So, the plan is to finish the year, pack my bags, and return to Michigan. I don’t as of yet what the future will hold. What do know is I need to get out of this place and profession. I need to return to my people and a place I love and enjoy and go from there.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – “Discipline”

Happy Odin’s Day!

Discipline – “I do what is necessary and right of my own accord without bribe or threat.”

I know of no person who has accomplished anything without discipline. Discipline I doing the right and necessary things over and over again. A person does this not because they are bribed or coerced, but because simply that they are the right things to do, they are necessary to do.

For me, the focus has shifted to being a little more specific. To do the right and necessary things out of habit. Daily habit. This means coming up with routines.

As overall virtue, discipline helps us all in more than the daily accomplishments of life. Its connection with honor is unmistakable as doing what is right without bribe or threat is also an aspect of honor. The habits of a person’s life lead to a disciplined life of honor. It is one of those virtues that crosses over into a lot of areas.

Discipline can also be shared with others. Discipline is given as a virtue to others through training, teaching, and instruction. None of us learn from others without accepting their discipline of what they tell us to do.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Not a Great Week (Summer Planning)

Happy Sif’s Day!

From a Discipline standpoint, this wasn’t a great week. I am about to shift my life for the next couple of months, but mostly it is a sickness that has kept me from having a lot of energy. Between the end of the school year and this illness, I have been tired and lacking in focus.

That said excuses are not something that sits well with me. So I am looking at using the summer to make adjustments and move forward in a different way. So my summer plans have a lot to do with gaining knowledge, getting back in shape, and getting more consistent with my habits. So with that in mind, I am heading to Michigan for a couple months.

  1. Time to get some walking and hiking on the trials. Part of getting back in shape and getting some fresh air away from the city.
  2. I have teacher training to finish to be fully certified and for professional development.
  3. I and the gym need to get reacquainted – more getting in shape.
  4. Summer Reading List
  5. Camping out – getting back to minimalism and living in a tent for the summer should get me a little different perspective. Hopefully, this will carry over into other things.
  6. I am going to think about teaching but in the broadest terms about class management mostly but also an overall approach to the curriculum.
  7. I am looking at my Atheist activism with more of an overall approach and hoping this will give me some better ideas.

Time to sail home for a bit and regroup. Then come back for another year of pillaging Houston.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Learning How to Teach

Happy Saturn’s Day!

About four years ago I made the decision to become a teacher. Even after a year of teaching squirrely freshmen, I still do not regret the decision. Every day in the classroom I learn something new. Learning how to teach is something I have often done, but it was part of my job, not the whole. Now it is the whole of what I do.

I teach World Geography which is the only downside and I probably will be doing it again next year, Of all the Social Studies topics it is my least favorite, but no one was offering my dream job. Get in the door first Ed, then prepare to embrace the right opportunity. This is where I am now, but not where I will eventually be.

Regardless, my chief lessons have nothing to due with World Geography. World Geography is a tool to teach what every teacher should teach – character. Vitrue and its expression in real life should be the goal of every teacher regardless of the subject. Because these can always be taught and have value in more than just in my class but in life. I don’t care if I see some of my students five years from now and they don’t know a lick of World Geography anymore. Shit, they can look up everything I teach on Google.

I will be proud if they talk to me about a job they got a promotion on because they were hard-working or that they have started a family with honor and fidelity as the center. If they talk about how they faced their fears and acted despite them. That is the joy of being a teacher.

Until then, though it is learning how to teach character through whatever subject I am teaching. That is work and I love the job. Doesn’t hurt that I get paid better than any job I have had. But in the end, it is about the satisfaction of those moments where students get it and become better.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Countess Redux” – Space Tramp – Chapter 13 (Megatraveller Fan Ficiton)

Happy Sif’s Day!

Story:

As Jeremiah crossed the threshold of The Naked Gypsy, he smiled as this last year had been quite profitable. His 25000Cr bonus now deposited in his savings was welcome and this last year had been a peaceful mission running charter for, of all surprises, Countess Borgosman for a second year. Captain Kingwood had called him the next morning after his last contract had expired with her and asked him to sign on as pilot/navigator again.  He hesitated but then the Captain told him that the countess had guaranteed 10x the bonus this time.  He said yes without hesitation.

The Countess was pretty much looking at more of her holdings and doing inspections on a few other worlds.  She liked the ship and the crew and wanted to keep them on. She was willing to do a larger bonus to keep them.

Jeremiah, however, found one change was present.  For some strange reason, the Countess took an interest in him professionally. She said she had watched him the last year and noticed that from his speech and knowledge he was a practical man but lacked some education.  She wanted to change that and offered to tutor him herself on some things.

Jeremiah hesitated but then agreed not wanting to spoil the contract for Jill the Engineer or the Captain.  The weird part was the Countess was probably four years younger than him but he could not deny she knew a lot of things he didn’t.  She started him reading literature, writing, politics, and history.  He was reading a lot of different things on a lot of different subjects. When he relayed what was going on to the Captain she smiled.

“Sounds like she is taking you through the first year of university education.”

Indeed that is what she was doing.  It was a lot of general education and for a year they spent at least an hour a day together and he got to know her very well. He also got past the hard and critical exterior to see a young woman who was doing the best she could while taking on a responsibility that she thought would not be hers for a long time. He came to respect her despite her criticism at times because he began to see it for what it really was – she cared about people. Even him the orphan boy from Strouden.

In her own way, she came to respect him too.  She even said that it was a remarkable achievement that a young man born in that social condition had achieved as much as he had.  She hoped he would take what she was trying to teach him and continue to be successful.

Their relationship was professional and was kept that way by the countess’ sense of duty and his sense of not wanting to spoil a contract. On the last day when they said their goodbyes, he thanked her and wished her well.  She smiled and then kissed him on the cheek.

“If you need a favor sometime, just let me know,”, she said.

He nodded and watched her leave.  Then helped Jill and the Captian secure the ship, said his goodbyes to them and walked down the ramp and off to the Gypsy.  The promised bonus was there with a little note from the countess with her special number and the words: “If you need me, call.”

Jeremiah had finished his third term in the Free Traders.  He signed his reenlistment papers for his fourth term with no problems.  He had recently turned 30 and no longer felt like a rookie. He was now eligible for the one thing he had been aiming for – Being a Free Trader Captain.  This next term was the one he had been waiting for.

For now, though he settled into the ritual of seeing if there was someone he knew to have a drink or two with at the bar and at the end of the night head to the brothel and engage the services of a woman who would remind him he was a man in other ways. He wouldn’t even be surprised if she looked like the countess.

Megatraveler Notes:

Start:

Free Trader 1st Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O4 – 1st Officer   Terms Served: 2

UPP: A67A74   Age: 29  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 5, Bonus Money: 27500 Cr.

Year Twelve:

Roll for position availability:  7 + 1 for Intelligence = 8 – position available, serves as 1st Officer

Roll for assignment: 8 + 1 for Social 5- = 9 –   Charter Assignment

Survival Roll:  11 – Survives easily.

Skill Roll: 10 – Skill acquired.

Bonus: 10  –  Bonus: roll: 6 – 25000Cr.

Roll for Skills: (1 for skill roll) – Rolls Free trader Life Table rolls: 4 Mental Cascade – picks +1 Education

Roll For Reenlistment: 9 – reenlists

1 Brownie Point for term served.

Year-End

Free Trader 1st Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O4 – 1st Officer   Terms Served: 3

UPP: A67A84   Age: 30  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 6, Bonus Money: 52,500 Cr.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Scholarly Warrior

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

My foundational image of myself remains the warrior scholar or the scholarly warrior.  I don’t fight actual physical battles but I understand the connection between courage and fighting for one’s ideals.  To be honorable, courageous and truthful requires a mindset of war and intelligence.

These virtues along with Love the Higher Virtue provide the core of my being of which the other virtues endeavor to express in other ways,  This role of being the man who fights for what he believes in has never really left me despite my inner struggles and personal failures.

The real question these days is approaching the subject of what to fight for as my mindset and world view has changed quite a bit.  It is something I still search for and hopefully, the answers will be forthcoming very soon.  In the meantime, I am the searching wandering warrior looking for truth.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

The blog streak will be 218 straight days with this post.  I also know with this being the last day of school I might get back to writing more fiction as I look for a better job. My hiking will also start in earnest pretty soon,  All preparation for the future with my Hike in the north.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Every payday and my tattoo gets closer to being a reality.  If that happens bucket list item achieved. It does not mean I won’t continue to work toward more bucket list items, it is just a goal that will be set and then reset. Budapest still is on my mind.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I have my subject and working title for my non-fiction book.  I am just waiting for school to end to really get started. The same goes for Latin as I have the tools and the need is more to set up a lesson plan for myself and start working it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

It comes down to what I love and am passionate about.  That said sometimes you have to do the hard work of love and keep at it despite a lack of feelings. Discipline is as much a part of love as Courage.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Getting better.  I am just going to be glad when the internship and school are fully done so I can concentrate on getting fully on track.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 3:1 – “You Need to Use Your Head for Something Besides a Hat Rack”

Text:

“You Need to Use Your Head for Something Besides a Hat Rack” – The Book of Rabyd 3:1

Sermon:

Chapter three of the Book of Rabyd represents some of the sayings and ‘-isms’ that have dominated the Raby Family for years.  They are not necessarily principles or wisdom but just stuff that is around our family that we just say as part of our particular family collective.  This one is from my father and I have no idea how many times he said it to me.  “You Need to Use Your Head for Something Besides a Hat Rack” was on his lips every single time I did something stupid.  It was a polite way of him telling me I should use my head to think rather than just have it occupy space and hold up my hat.

My father was not an educated man.  He was dyslexic or at least we think so.  He was a blue-collar man who had a gift for manufacturing.  He learned machinery and grinding early in his factory work days and knew math very well.  He just could never read very well.  These days, he might have been diagnosed early and he might have learned to read much better.  He was, however, a math genius in his own way and he believed highly in learning and common sense.

I don’t actually use this expression of his much myself.  I, however, hear it all the time in my head.  I always hear it when I am about to do something stupid or have not thought things through before I am about to act on them.  Most people don’t wear hats these days so I wonder if somebody would get it, but I certainly do.

This expression being 3:1 in the Book of Rabyd is more about my love for my Father than anything else.  I want the expression preserved for my kids and grandkids and all the rest.  I think it is a very polite and creative way to tell someone to start thinking and using your head. I know he was proud of me when I graduated college but he did not live to see me get my master’s, but I could not have made either without this expression rolling around in my head.  Thanks, Dad, I still miss you.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Forks in The Road (Part 2)

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

The majority of my decision involving forks in the road are in my Business Virtues area. I am not just looking for a new job, but a new career path.  I have some options that will run together. But the major options require a concentration of effort and I can’t do two at once.

I don’t think writing will ever leave my life.  The more I look at my personality type and read about it the one thing becomes crystal clear – I can express my feelings far better in written form than speaking them.  I actually have a hard time expressing my feelings by speaking about them.  I can write about them with an ease that is often shocking even to me.  Writing as a career path will thus always be there if I write something worth publishing.

Business fits me as it is a very broad area to have a career.  Given my experience, and education Human Resources seems to be the best fit and that is the direction I have been going. Business simply provides the extra money I am going to need in the short amount of years I have left to achieve some of my goals.

I could always ‘retire’ later on to be a teacher in a college at the end of things as I am pretty sure I will continue my education at some point. I just don’t see myself doing nothing.  At the very least, if the writing takes off, I will continue to do that right up until they burn me and scatter my ashes.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

This fork is coming up very quickly and it is not so much a matter of direction as it is a location.  I am torn on a more emotional level about where to live these days than what career direction I need to have. From the standpoint of self-reliance, I need more emotional support.

I know that sounds backward, but my list of friends has gotten really short. I need to build a new group of friends and relationships and I don’t want to do that until I know what job I am doing long term and where I am going to live. Where to live is the big question, but one thing I know for sure, it can’t be where I am now.  There is too much pain associated with this place now for me to stay here.  I really undercut my confidence at times and confidence is key in self-reliance.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

This is about vocation, not a job to me.  I think being a writer is a vocation to me, I just need to make it pay. I think business will be a good vocation for me as at the end of the day I can shut it off and go home. Much better than the old career I had. I want something I can enjoy and is part of my life, not my whole existence. I can always work hard if there is a life aim that I am shooting for and the job doesn’t become the life aim.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I want to still help people through their problems. I also don’t want their problems to drag me down.  Hospitality is about compassion and helping not self-abandonment.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I just wrote about justice yesterday so you can go back and see that.  Today I will just say that writing about it cleared my head quite a bit and I feel much better where I stand.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I like this one, I just need to be more consistent.  I think I have just reached a point of weariness with the semester and want it over.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Warrior Mind (Part 2)

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

When it comes to a warrior mind, the Business Virtues are in many ways doing the business of war during peace.  Self-Reliance prepares for war in peace by making sure one is independent and free to act in one’s interest as best as possible.  Industriousness is working so one has the resources one needs when the battles of life start. Hospitality means one is known for grace and mercy because it leads quicker to peace after a war is over and often you might need grace and mercy for yourself.

Your dealings with others and how they perceive you and respect you go a long way to being successful when battles come. Being known as independent, hard-working and gracious is a far better reputation than being dependent, lazy and unmerciful. It is easy to make peace with life and enjoy it when your reputation is solid.  At least this is true for your own self if not for others.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

The job search is a little frustrating right now and I am glad I set things back to the end of June so school will be out in a couple weeks and I can give the job search my full attention.  I have given my word to my wife if I can find a job in Michigan by the end of June that fits the bill I would do it. If not, then my search hits the whole country. Owning my own business is the ultimate in self-reliance and the goal here.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

The degree is almost done.  About three weeks now before the semester is over and all requirements are finished. My novel idea is taking root in my heart of five childhood friends that set out together to find adventure.  I like it and I think the five characters I have in mind are not typical, but rather represent a good adventure team.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I have to say if I get a job, I hope it is in a place with a little higher population density. I think that will make support groups, in general, a more viable option as well as owning a home of the right size.  Something me and the wife talk about which both of us agree on the minimum necessary to be comfortable for both of us.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Justice keeps my life balanced. For all my talk of mercy and grace earlier, it should be noted that part of justice is to know when you have had enough of someone’s shit or when they have betrayed your trust.  Don’t have to deal with those people in my mind or treat them well when you encounter them.  I have a short list of such people and I think that it is simply exercising justice to myself.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

Next week I am going to do some routine shuffle and rearrangement.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!