When I was a kid I played many games and still do. Until I got older and was introduced to strategy and RPG games, one of my favorites was The Game of Life. One thing I remember distinctly about the version we had was there was the millionaire mansion side if you won. Everyone else who lost got to retire to a small cottage and became a philosopher. There is an emphasis on the accumulation of wealth in The Game of Life and at that time it was a simple assumption that the person who had the most won (or you could put everything you owned on two numbers and won if you spun them) and the losers were the ones who ‘retired as a Philosopher. When I was a kid, I thought this was sensible.
Now, I long to be a retired philosopher. Too bad being a philosopher doesn’t pay so well. But that is now my dream job. Just sitting in your house and thinking has a strange appeal to me right now. I made a mistake coming to Texas and trying to be a Public School Teacher. It’s not the kind of mistake you know it’s a mistake before you get there, but more in retrospect.
So what to do from here for my 53 year-old ass? I am not sure. But prehaps there is a way to find the path. Be the philosopher while doing something else. Or maybe I will just have to put everything I got on two numbers ans spin the wheel.
The one thing I know for sure is that all should be doen with my own happiness and well being in mind.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
Anyone who knows me also knows that I do not hold much to New Year’s Resolutions. I do however believe in a quarterly assessment of my goals and vision for myself. If the new year is valuable to me it is in the assessment of progress and a change of course that is planned. A course correction and seeing I am completely off course, time to chart from where I am at to where I would like to be next year. I think this year I will head in the direction of ‘be it resolved by the end of 2023, I will…” Then list the needed things to change.
1 – Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, my morning routine will be well established.” My routine every morning will help with a lot of my coping mechanisms. In fact, most of it is a list of my coping mechanisms in action. 1) Get Up Early and Make Bed, 2) Meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues (5 min), 3) Full Body Stretch, 4) Weight Lifting, 5) Good Breakfast, 6) Hygiene Routine, 7) Get Dressed, 8) Reading – 3 chapters, 9) Write – Rough Draft or Edit and Post for the Blog. Yes, I will be writing every other day from now on. The main focus here is me and keeping my depression from hitting me by keeping myself healthy and mentally focused.
2. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will return to Michigan. I need to get back to a place where my depression bothers me less. It is closer to family and hiking, camping, etc. I love. Michigan people are my people. Houston just incites my depression. too much
3. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will change careers from teaching to something less stressful and just as or more lucrative. I need to finish my contract, but after that, I am done. This means everything currently must be up to snuff as far as credentials, professional development, training, etc. Then on to what? I don’t know that yet. Kind of like returning to the land you left to find out what has changed that you can take advantage of. I guess part of the challenge will be the discovery.
4. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will more actively pursue my new love – my shieldmaiden – if she will have me. I need to find her first. But something tells me the way to attract such a woman would be simply to be the best man I can be and see who is attracted to that. I think the only thing I am going to do here is, move to Michigan and then just be me. I do think I am going to be growing a full beard. Something like the gentleman below but my coloring will be different. Going to make myself into the healthiest, most masculine, and the sexiest old man I can be and see which female warrior is attracted to that. Time for this Odin avatar to find his Frigg.
5. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will be at peace with myself in better ways. 1) I need to write beyond the blog., 2) I need to find that outlet I need to be a voice. The Rabyd Atheist was my pulpit for a couple years, but I stopped because I realized how dangerous it is to have social media career and be a teacher. I actually am taking a bit of risk even with this blog. This is probably one other good reason to change to something that does not have that risk. 3) Have paid off as much debt as possible by the end of the year. The move is going to take money, but I think most of the small bills will be gone by February, and then it is my car. If I move back to Michigan with nothing but student loans, I will be in good shape.
So there it is – my five – “Be it resolved”. Should be an interesting year.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
It’s been a week since I have written but massive introspection and a busy schedule will do that to you. I have been looking at my life and what I am doing. and I am trying to discover my passions. It seems they are very much like the seasons that change at times. The busy schedule included but was not limited to a Zoom session of professional development, taking my last test for certification, and getting two of my teeth fixed. Busy week.
I have mixed feelings right now about being home in Michigan. It very much a love situaiton having so much time with my family but I feel like I am cozying up with the old at times and find myself longing for the new. I am well aware that this time mas very much about practicality. I didn’t want to spend two months alone in Houston. On the flip side, inflation has kind of robbed me of some of my plans.
I do want to get to writing fiction and I am really in a Urban Fantasy mood right now so The Grey Wayfarer Pub and something else will be front and center. Hopefully, see you tomorrow, but my teeth are still a little sore.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
A recent comment got me thinking that I should provide a post with more details about the gap time between February 28, 2021, and May 2, 2022. A lot of things happened but If I were to highlight a few things they would concern my marriage, career, and living situation.
My marriage at the time of Feb 2021 was on the rocks. I was deeply dissatisfied that I wasn’t being supported in a good career move for myself but it involved moving from Michigan to Texas and my wife didn’t want to do that. It actually pointed to a greater problem that had been growing for years which basically was about priorities and emotional support.
Probably more basically, it was about the fact once the kids were gone my priority shifted to my marriage and my wife continued to remain with her kids and later grandkids. I felt I was slipping down her priority list to the point I was getting her leftover time. We had two different priorities and two different objectives. It was a problem compounded by trying on my part to get counseling but on the other hand, my wife did not want to go to counseling. I finally asked for a divorce in April 2021.
I actually waited a month to file and there was a clerical error so the hearing was delayed to September 21, 2021, a judge granted my petition and I became single again after 32 years. I won’t say I liked it, but at the same time, if I am going to be married to someone I expect the same level of priority I give them. Someone who will deal with our relationship issues and emotionally support me when I am having a rough time.
A result was a freedom to pursue something I had been working on since before COVID. Teaching certification in the state of Texas. I finished the basics and found a job at a large High school near Houston. I loaded up my Jeep Patriot with everything that I had and moved. It’s now one school year later and I love teaching. Hopefully, I will find a better subject than the one I now teach, but you have to pay your dues.
My living situation is often lonely right now as I come home to an empty apartment. I miss Michigan, but they didn’t have alternative teaching certification when I started. My best bet is to finish the certification process, finish my second year of teaching so my mentorship is finished, and then transfer back to Michigan.
The one thing that has improved for me is income and that has led to a lot of thinking as to how to use it. Mostly though I have more time to myself and that is a double-edged sword. But that is a post for a different day.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
This Last Year I found myself teaching full-time for the first time. With any job I’ve ever had, I have looked for a routine. That’s because Routines build basic skills that once mastered can really save you a lot of time on the job. I need to focus more on teaching and less on the admin so I work to do things admin-related in particular as a routine. I would say I cut down my time to about half when I started.
Mostly though work is at work and home discipline is separate. I do as much as possible at work when it is work-related. Having a salary kind of makes it works whenever and wherever but I feel that work is done at work and that makes my happy home happy.
Next year, I have a lot to do in regard to classroom discipline but my Admin skills are good. I actually think it will be a much better year next year. What will make it easier is routine.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
Looking back at this week it was kind of shit regarding discipline and even getting things done. I was doing OK on Monday but then my job got intense as I had all these kids trying to get in last-minute grades to save themselves from failure, plus all the admin stuff that needs to be done. Monday and Tuesday I would come home and just collapse in tiredness. Kids are exhausting. Especially when you are dealing with over 100 a day asking you things.
Wednesday I started to develop some sneezing and at first, I felt like my allergies were kicking in. Not a good time to talk on YouTube for sure. Hoping to do The Pagan Pulpit on Sunday but as of this moment, my throat is trash. I spent most of Friday in bed and called into work.
So this coming week I hope will be better. I am starting to feel better and it is exam week so will have a little more time to focus on myself. I need to be more steady and consistent with this stuff, but when you are sick it’s often best just to relax and get better.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
About four years ago I made the decision to become a teacher. Even after a year of teaching squirrely freshmen, I still do not regret the decision. Every day in the classroom I learn something new. Learning how to teach is something I have often done, but it was part of my job, not the whole. Now it is the whole of what I do.
I teach World Geography which is the only downside and I probably will be doing it again next year, Of all the Social Studies topics it is my least favorite, but no one was offering my dream job. Get in the door first Ed, then prepare to embrace the right opportunity. This is where I am now, but not where I will eventually be.
Regardless, my chief lessons have nothing to due with World Geography. World Geography is a tool to teach what every teacher should teach – character. Vitrue and its expression in real life should be the goal of every teacher regardless of the subject. Because these can always be taught and have value in more than just in my class but in life. I don’t care if I see some of my students five years from now and they don’t know a lick of World Geography anymore. Shit, they can look up everything I teach on Google.
I will be proud if they talk to me about a job they got a promotion on because they were hard-working or that they have started a family with honor and fidelity as the center. If they talk about how they faced their fears and acted despite them. That is the joy of being a teacher.
Until then, though it is learning how to teach character through whatever subject I am teaching. That is work and I love the job. Doesn’t hurt that I get paid better than any job I have had. But in the end, it is about the satisfaction of those moments where students get it and become better.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
The Grey Wayfarer 