Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. It is the 9th Night of Yuletide.  This day is sacred to fathers and the All-Father Odin.  This is the day we remember fathers and honor them.  The Virtue remembered today is indeed Honor.  I find it interesting that in Norse mythology for mothers the virtue is Industriousness but for fathers it is Honor. There is something very profound in that if you meditate on it.

Journal Entry:

I was sitting Wednesday at a restaurant with my son who lives in New York but who is home for the holidays. I couldn’t help be very proud of him as I watched him handle his daughter who is ten months old.  It was an introspective moment and one where I found myself both challenging and upholding my honor a little.

I have not always been the greatest example of fatherhood.  Recent events in this last year give little cause for my children to be proud of me.  But at the same time as I look at my children, I have little cause not to be proud of them and I have to say whatever my wife and I did in raising them, turned out really good in the end. They are all three of them good children. They are good human beings and I couldn’t be more proud of them all.

Fatherhood is an ever-changing role.  Now I content myself with being as good a grandfather as I can be, and a friend to my children that they know they can always count on if they need me.  One day, I will be the Patriarch of the family in truth (May my mother remain the Matriarch for years to come) but for me that is more about influence than authority.  I just hope to be fondly remembered at this point and so work to make memories in their lives to that end.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

There is one change I am considering and that is one of having an evening routine.  I have always found these the most challenging because when I get to the point where my bed is calling me it is usually overpowering of any other thing I would need to do. Such a routine would have a little hygiene as well as preparation for the day to come.  It would be a short routine because anything long would not get done.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Looking back at this year, this being the last entry for Self Virtues this year, I still stand amazed that I am still standing. I am a much different man than the one who started the year. I can’t really describe the transformation but the one thing I think I have demonstrated without fail is that I will never, ever quit. I will walk The Grey and get up after every time I am knocked down. I keep coming and I will not quit.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I suppose along with the lessons of perseverance, the lessons this year involving fidelity have been pretty extreme. With my wife I have learned that love may not be able to fix broken oaths, but it can start to forge something new that is stronger from the pieces. From this year I also have learned fidelity is not always given even when expected.  I have lost a lot of friends this year.  I also had someone I thought was a good friend betray me.  I loved someone who obviously didn’t share that in return.  I have had the whole gambit of stuff done in return to me.  I guess some might call it karma coming back on me for my own lack of fidelity.  In truth though I only betrayed one person and that person still is loyal to me despite it and she forgave me.  Yes, I have learned a lot this year about fidelity, perhaps too much and the wrong way.  But, the lessons are learned and I will go forward.

Weekly Routine: 

1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
3. Walking – 4 days a week

Man, not lifting a walking has not had as much of a negative effect as I thought it would.  Physically, by keeping the nutrition solid, I still feel and look good.  I still have improvement that could be done, but I am not in danger of going backwards yet. That said, from a spiritual/emotional point of view, I definitely miss both.

Nutrition:

Nutrition took a step forward this week with my limits being tightened a little.  The effect was to make me instantly aware of how close I come right now to going over both on carb count for the day and cheat meals.  That said, it is the holidays so it is harder but I also give myself those holiday cheat days for free.  The real test will be after new year.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – Courage, Honor and Truth are becoming more than words to me at last.  There is some meaning to them as I hit the end of the year.

Business – Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality are becoming more than words to me too.  The philosophy of Asatru is beginning to sink in and I must say it really appeals to who I really am.

Self – Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity have all been a struggle this past year, but that is what each day of the future is for – to improve and grow virtue.  That is my ultimate quest.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!