A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – New Identity

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am writing this a couple of days early to clear my weekend schedule for both school and I promised that I would give you a double dose of fiction this Saturn’s Day.  I am not sure of the Pagan Pulpit on Sun’s Day. That will greatly depend on how things go this week and the early weekend.  My perception of this week is that it has been a busy one but what I want to talk about at this point is how my identity is changing into something else.

For about two decades I have been a pastor and Christian theologian.  None of that is true anymore, that identity for all practical purposes is a dead one.  I mean my Master’s Degree in Theology is still there as well as my Bachelor’s in Biblical Studies/Ministry, so I could pass myself still as a theologian, but not a believing one.  I suppose from a certain point of view that makes me a dangerous critic of Christian doctrine and theology because I can’t be accused of being ignorant of what Christians believe.  Not that I want to be such a critic; as in truth, I would rather start focusing my time on things that are more personally productive. I would rather focus on developing a new identity.

My problem is I feel very much like I am back in college making that decision for the first time.  There are differences as I know I am probably more experienced than I was thirty years ago, as well as ‘wiser’, whatever that means.  My issue is what am I now?  I know somethings that have not changed – I am still a husband, father and grandfather.  I am still a good friend.  I just don’t know what else I am right now.  Options:

Professor – This would mean a master’s degree in economics probably and then Ph. D work.  The issue I have with this one is continued financial aid and debt. I then would have a long-term career possible, if I made tenure so I could retire when I wanted to retire. I guess this one is on the top of the list because I have been told I am a good teacher and so that is the issue here in that it would fit me well and past experience in public speaking and teaching would not be wasted.

Business – This is an option because the pull of money is on me fairly strong as I need to make a bunch money in order to make sure retirement is even possible.  I could get an MBA at Ferris as the have a completely online one as well.  Corporate ladder or start my own business?  There are options here that are very flexible.  I know people from long experience, so that would be an asset as well.

Lawyer – Like it or not, my Political Science Degree is also preparation for a legal career. There are plenty of law schools in Michigan, so there is that.  I can’t put it off the list because with my own practice I can’t be fired either. I really do need a career path where I am in the driver seat as far as employment.

Writer – I have already had one career that starved me on occasion, so being a writer has purely emotional appeal, not a financial one.  It has risks. I would have to have another job until it could pay for things.  It also has the advantage of being non-ending.  I could do it in retirement for that matter.  Right up until they put me on my viking ship to burn as it sails out to sea. I am the Rabyd Skald after all.

I just don’t know which of these could be my identity or even a combination might be in order. I just don’t know. It has to fit me to be an identity and that is the challenge for me right now – finding what fits. The one thing I know does not fit anymore is ministry.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Once school is done I will have to do a reassessment of the areas in my life where discipline might be need.  Right now it is just obvious what needs discipline. The real problem right now for me is my old gym is closed and I need a new one and that means I will probably not be able to lift for a bit while I find a new one.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Defeat and failure are something I try to avoid but my attitude about them is far more positive which is to say – once you have failed you can’t go back and fix it.  You can only move on by getting back up and moving forward.  I think this is something I may need to remember soon as I am struggling very much in one class and I don’t know how it is going to come out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I haven’t really thought about fidelity much this week as I have not had much time to be anything but loyal myself.  I guess the only struggle I still have is what to do if I ever cross paths again with certain people.  I simply do not know how I will react.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

I miss weightlifting this week but I am using the extra time for homework. Cleaning and walking were on target, so that was good.  I do need to find an alternative walk site starting next week.

Nutrition:

I need to define a couple of things.  A Cheat Meal for me is basically a period of time (a half hour to an hour) where I can eat pretty much any food and drink any beverage without counting it toward carb count for the day.  A Carb Count is a single serving of carbs outside a cheat meal and during the day,  Right now with five Cheat Meals and a Carb Count of five a day, I have a lot of room.  As the weeks  go by however this is not going to remain the case.  By the last month things will be very tight.  I need to remember those pictures are coming on my 50th birthday.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – All good here, I guess I am simply just putting my head down and trying to finish the year out as best I can. When 2018 hits the rear view mirror, I will probably let out a cheer.

Business – I am really looking forward to the job search and finding this new identity for myself.  My real issue is surviving it financially until then. Thankfully these virtues are not a problem for me for the most part so I keep doing what I need to do.

Self – Right now staying disciplined is tiring but I know it will be worth it.  Fidelity and Perseverance are now more central so I worry less about them right now anyway.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – New Adventure

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

I am deeply involved with my final paper which will be used both for health economics and for my political capstone.  I am writing this entry on Tuesday morning to clear my schedule for the week. I also have about ten other small projects for other classes so  I am pressed for time so I am going to make this as short as possible,  Of course, I am reminded as a preacher that when I said I was going to keep this short, that meant nothing at all.

If there is anything I am trying to tap into right now it’s my spirit of adventure.  I want to look to the future with the eyes of the viking boarding his ship and planning to go out there and find new shores to explore and conquer.  I really am looking at 2019 as a fresh start into something new. Something I can get excited about as I look at it.

It is this spirit of adventure and about to engage on a new adventure that allows me to look at things now as preparation for it.  It allows me to see things with a light of optimism and hope.  Something I haven’t had in a while.  I am sure The Grey will return, but I hope there will be a light within that allows me to see the water in front of me.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Right now everything is focused on getting my last paper done and studying for the final exams. I will be finished with everything Next Wednesday so as of this post there will be only a week left.  Time to focus,  the tie to celebrate is drawing closer.  ultimately this is about being more self-reliant in all things. For that I need an education that I can market in the real world.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Work is work for me right now.  I do enjoy taking a situation (in retail your don’t really produce anything, you have a situation) and then improving it.  To know when I walk about the company is in a better position to make some money because of my actions is a pretty good feeling.  I also enjoy work for its sake and I always want something to do rather than stand around.  That said I do enjoy walking out and going home and pretty much work ends and I don’t take it home with me.  You have no idea how good a feeling that is until you have been a pastor and then that constant responsibility falls off your shoulders.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Still working on this.  I guess I try to make myself ready to help whenever I can or see the need.  I am not very much into charity which I just give money to it.  Mostly, I don’t have money to give anyway so helping with action is a far more beneficial thing to me.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Mostly solid.  looking back last week.  There was a couple of times financial transactions didn’t get entered that day.  But for the most part is was solid.  Next week the study, homework and reading will shift to what I want to do, not what I have to do and that will be great.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I should make note that # 2 will be replaced after I graduate on December 15th.  That said, I won’t get my diploma until May or June because of the need to finish my internship.  As I mentioned yesterday, to pay for that may require me to stay a full-time student for one semester which means more classes.  Those class have to have a couple of qualities. 1) They need to be online so I don’t have it drive to campus. 2) If they could be something that pads my resume, so much the better. I still plan on looking for a better job by the end of January.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Yeah, still stage 1.  The real key to going forward here is a new job or a second one.  I would rather have the first, but I have no problem doing the second until if find the first.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – No, I Don’t Want a Man Cave – I Want a Study

Happy Tyr’s Day

This is another week where doing a proper Of Wolves and Ravens is going to be too difficult so you get a Rabyd Skald instead. Mostly I just want to touch base a little about things without a real format or order and I want to talk about one thing I definitely want as far as where I live someday.

I would say The Grey and I have our moments.  I just have the defense of having school work to do to combat it.  I keep busy and that is the main thing.  I have a couple of days off from work but they will be filled with writing a paper. I don’t know if it will be my last one, but I suspect it might be the best one I have done for school.

School may be an issue as far as financing.  I don’t think my internship is going to be a paid one although I think I can do it online so I won’t have to travel to campus.  The issue becomes financial aid will not cover something part-time like that as it is only four credits.  I would have to basically attend full-time for another semester in order to pay for the internship.  Full time requires at least 12 credits so I would have to pick up about three classes.  I would need them all to be online and probably 100 or 200 level so I can finish with some extra skills.

My wife and I finished our last counseling session with our counselor as he is heading to Guam.  We are kind of discussing whether or not we need further counseling as a couple. The last session was a good one and the counselor thinks we have made progress and that we could go forward without it being a necessity.  I still would like some counseling for me but I don’t know if we can afford it right now. Maybe if I get a better job with some decent insurance I can consider it.

One thing my future vision of my life must contain is a study.  I don’t want a man cave although my study might have man cave elements like a wet bar and maybe a classic pin-up on the wall.  For me this is more about having a place for intellectual and creative pursuit with a masculine feel to it. I need a place like that to retreat to when the world gets too much. A place to read, study, write, relax and meditate.

Well, need to get to work on school stuff so I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Future Uncertainty

 

Happy Saturn’s Day

Just by way of announcement, there will be no Rogue Wizard or The Grey Wayfarer this week.  I just don’t have the time to do it right, so it will wait for next week and I will double dip with one of both to make it up to you.  Right now I am dealing with school, work and a lot of uncertainty about the future.  I do take a lot of comfort in the fact that in such moments my creativity is off the charts. I hope it is a trend that continues. Just a few quick notes:

  1. Academically I have been working toward the goal of being completely finished with all course work this semester, so I can just do my internship while looking for a better job.  Unfortunately, I think it is very possible that I might come up short by one class because my bugaboo of GIS is probably going to get me. For me it is like learning a foreign language I can’t seem to grasp on top of a psychological trigger of past failure with the subject.  I don’t know if this means I won’t be able to walk but in any case, it might be more than an internship I need to do next semester.  I guess we will see because everything else I will probably do well in.  If I do have  to take courses next semester they will have to be all online so I can job search and keep our household costs down.
  2. It’s official that my gym will be closing and probably sooner than I wished with everything else going on.  I may have to just take a week off from the gym, focus on academics and then look for a new one during finals week.
  3. My other uncertainty is my own confidence level waxes and wains a lot. Some moments I feel like I can take on the world and others I feel pretty helpless to the situation. I get angry still at certain things that happened and my heart still seeps soul-blood from time to time from past hurts and my own guilt. I probably need some professional counsel on this but I don’t have the money for it.  One person who knows me via internet offered but I feel I need the personal touch on this one. If only I had the time or money right now.

I had someone ask me for prayer yesterday.  I haven’t felt praying has done a lot of good for me or anyone else when I pray for them.  I just am not sure how valuable my prayers are seeing that I have very little faith in a god who might be out there or not and quite frankly if he/she/they are what their response to me might be to me specifically seeing I have massive doubts.  Christianity was my philosophical underpinning and foundation for a long time.  I really am trying  build a new one because that one has too many cracks in it for me now.  I know too much to believe it anymore. The process of building a foundational philosophy is a long one however and this means a time of uncertainty.  Out of that I hope will come something better – something more true.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Paleo Nutritional Planning Winter 2018-19

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

One of my goals is to be in the best shape possible by my Birthday so I can take some progress pictures.  That would be March 18th, 2019.  I will be 50.  There is something about these birthdays where the first number and last number both change.  I mean ten was probably where I first became aware of abstract thought and started to find girls far more interesting.  Twenty I went from being single to married and started my first round of college.  Thirty was a year where I became ordained as a minster and became pastor of my first church.  Forty was the year I started my last church.  Now I approach fifty and it truly is a milestone.

I will be finished with school and very close to the end of my internship.  I will be hopefully starting a new career with a new job.  2019 is truly going to not just be a new chapter in my life but in truth a whole new part to the story. I want part of that to be able to stand naked in front of the mirror on March 18th, 2019 and say: ‘Damn Ed, you look really good for fifty.”

The biggest part of that happening is going to involve nutrition.  I lift weights and walk/hike and that is important, but it is nutrition that not only gets results but allows you to keep them.  It is about lifestyle choice that leads to a better life, not just a better body.

Philosophically, I know that plans that involve meal planning, counting calories and points do not work for me.  I have said it before I do the best when I can control what I eat and when I eat it.  What has worked so far is a combination of Paleo and Intermittent Fasting.  The issue right now is to train myself to make that even more discipline and tighter as I get closer to my birthday.  After that finding a basic patterns that works and keeps working will be the goal. The details of this plan will be below in nutrition section but my basic idea is to slowly drop the number of carbs sources I can eat a day and the number of cheat meals a week. The four weeks leading up to my birthday both of these will be very low; if they exist at all.

Couple this with intermittent fasting and you get a powerful combo that so far has dropped my weight probably fifty pounds since May.  I don’t really go by weight though as my basic test of how I feel and look to me is the naked in front of the mirror test.  If I can look in the mirror and feel proud of what I have accomplished and my wife is giving me bedroom eyes, then I will have considered it a breakthrough.  Then it will be about maintaining it into the future.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Nutrition is simply one of those areas I am trying to apply more discipline.  To be harder on myself, so greater things can be achieved.  My homework and study time right now is tight with this as well, but I take comfort in the fact there is less than three weeks to go and the last half of December is pretty much going to be chill time.  I will still be working in retail, so it won’t be completely relaxing until after January 1st.  I just won’t have three major things to work on, just two. I will probably use the extra time to start disciplining myself toward attaining some other things on my list of goals and the bucket list.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Shit.  I look back at 2018 and marvel how many times I was knocked down and got up.  I am not talking simple knockdowns either but full on flat on your ass knockdowns where you slide from the force of the blow for twenty feet.  Where you lay there gasping for breath wondering if you are going to live knockdowns.  I got up from all of them and I still am shaking my head about it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I think the biggest realization I have had this week is how much I now distrust people when they say they are my friend or want to be my friend.  I can tell I am still skeptical of this. Only people who proved my friend during this year do I seem to trust without question, and even then I wonder very slightly from time to time.

I really do need a new small local circle from a social point of view, but like I told the counselor on Tuesday, I probably will have to look at my new career to find those people. My hope for starting a new support group of some kind might be an avenue as well.  The one thing I don’t trust is old wells that have no water – the church or friends who disappeared when things got tough.

At the same time, I kind of marvel at my wife’s forgiveness and loyalty to me.  She has no reason to be. None.  I guess she loves me.  I probably should follow her example and give some people a second chance.  Some, but not all that’s for damn sure. Being led astray by others about me is one thing.  Being a person who straight up abused my trust and betrayed me is another.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

This week has been more about school than anything else.  What this has done is limited trips to the gym and school oddly as class has not been something I need to attend on a couple of occasions. Walking and lifting will not reach their goals this week as I am hitting the books instead.

The gym situation is coming to a head as I will no longer need to travel to the city where my gym currently is as often.  Plus, it looks very much like my gym will close soon.  That means changing gyms closer to where I work now. Once that happens, training will take on more importance.

Nutrition:

Paleo Diet means I avoid carb sources of foods like the plague.  I have pretty much eliminated pasta.  What I need to do is slowly wean myself off them pretty much altogether.  Part of this is re-educating myself on what I can eat and eating more of it.

The intermittent fasting basically will go like this.  I eat breakfast then fast until eight hours later, then I can eat until I go to bed. At first this will be weeks that start with an even-numbered Sundays.  Four weeks out from March 18th, 2019 it will be all the time.

The two things that will be added are a weekly check list of cheat meals where when I have one I check one cheat meal off and when I have used them all for the week, I can’t do any more.  The other thing I will add is a daily carb food source check list.  I want to basically start shrinking both down every week or two.  The goal the last month is to have no carbs at all daily and one cheat meal per week.

December 2nd – December 22nd: Weekly Cheat Meals: 5  Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 5

December 23rd – January 5th: Cheat Meals: 4; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 4

January 6th – January 19th: Cheat Meals: 3; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 3

January 20th – February 2nd: Cheat Meals: 2; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 2

February 3rd – February 16th: Cheat Meals: 1; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 1

February 17th – March 18th – Cheat Meals: 0 (special occasions only), Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 0 – I will actually extend this out for the rest of the week but the goal is my birthday which is a Monday.

Of course extra cheat meals are allowed for special occasions:  Birthdays and holidays.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I don’t feel to bad in this area.  I did come to the conclusion this week that I will feel a great deal better as far as Courage, Honor and Truth once my degree is finished.  Still work to do, but I feel much better.

Business – Things are coming to a head, graduation, internship and new job search,  I have a feeling my hard work is going to start paying off. Prosperity with purpose is getting closer.

Self – I feel the best about this area. Have for a long time.  This week particularly.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – The Last Battle?

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

This is just something running around in my head of late but there is always this notion that our lives lead up to some sort of climax, some sort of last battle.  Some defining moment that identifies us for who we are forever.  We romanticize this notion and most of our stories and book of fiction are all about this idea of climax.  I am not sure too many people actually get to experience this idea in reality.

For me, it could be said that I have had several of these final battles. It’s what causes me to think that life is more of a series of peace and war. Perhaps each battle gets mere difficult, perhaps not. The issue is that in times of peace one must prepare one’s heart for war.  Not because it is more beneficial than peace, but because war is inevitable wither with the world, with people or with self.

If I do have a final battle, it will simply be final because it is the last one I fought and it will either be that which kills me, or it will be the thing that leads to me final time of peace before I die.  It may not be my biggest battle, I probably will actually tell stories about that over a pint of mead.  No, the last battle will not be my toughest, just my last one.

I say this because the toughest battles are usually the first ones where you are learning to fight whatever enemy it is.  You survive, so the next time the next battle is easier.  My last battle should be the easiest one way or the other. Some where though there will be a great battle that was the turning point ans I do think that is coming up very soon.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Finishing my education and finding a new and better job is the first step in becomes more self-reliant.  Right now I am focused on finishing my last classes and getting things done one at a time and trying to stay focused on finishing everything possible.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I do enjoy study and homework when I feel the learning taking place in my head.  When it seems to be just busy work it can be more difficult.  What I am learning again, is this feeling of learning is very much up to me.  It is my feeling to generate as I start. This is something I need to remember long after I finish school.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Hospitality is minimal right now.  Not only is our prosperity limited but also time. Once school is done and things are a little more stable, I really hope to change this.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Next time I will be addressing nutritional questions and one of the things that might appear here is a check area for number of carb sources a day.   That is I might have five check boxes for the five foods with carbs in them I can eat that day.  AS I draw nearer to my birthday that number would actually get less and less until the last couple weeks it would be zero.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#2 is less than three weeks away and there is a lot to do before then but the goal is in sight. Just for the record, my blogging streak will be at 59 days today when this post drops. What I need to do once school is finished is do an assessment before the beginning of 2019 to set some sort of action plan in place for these things.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

This month brought in extra money because of how my pay periods lined up, holiday pay and bonuses.  The problem was our cars ate most of it. We would have been very close to having #1 done otherwise.  Still fighting.  Hopefully a better paying job will help.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Three Week Timer Set

Happy Sun’s Day

Three weeks.  It’s all I have left of school and my degree pursuit.  Because of the need at this point to keep on track I am probably going to do a The Rabyd Skald Post to start each week to get a sense of my bearings as far as where I am and how much time I have left.

This is a good week with a lot of potential to get a lot of things done.  I only have twenty hours of work this week so there is extra time for homework and I am going to need it.  There is work to complete that I can get done in time I just have to stay focused for the two weeks left of class and the last week of exams.  I also have some practical shit to do as far as getting ready for graduation.  What’s left:

Cross Cultural Communication – This class had a group project that is already completed.  I just need to evaluate my peers and their performance.  Do the final chapters of reading and the final discussion online.  One last test which is the last day of class not on exam week because it is an online class.  I figure this class will take a day plus the discussion over three days to finish. It’s my last International Business class and finishes off that minor.

GIS – I have to confess I am behind here and the first priority will be to catch up.  I have maps to do and one lab.  None of this takes more than an hour to an hour and a half to do.  It’s just a matter of sitting down and doing them and keeping up when they are assigned. I have to confess my real problem with this class is it is something I probably might have to understand how it works but I will never do this stuff as a career.  I am just not into geography or computer programs that deal with it. It is however required for my Political Science Degree.  It’s Online so the work will also be done the last day of class.

Inferential Statistics – My problem with this class is I find math too easy mostly.  I have aced every raw math class in college so far.  I have a tendency to overlook this class at times. There is also the problem that I can’t really work ahead in this class as the professor assigns stuff to do for the next class and that’s pretty much how it rolls.  I have found the theory part of this class very interesting and relative to my Economics work.  That’s probably why its one of two classes that finishes off my Economics Minor. I just need to do every assignments and keep up with it as they happen.  I am sure there will be a final during finals weeks as it is one of two on campus classes I have.

Health Economics – I really only have one major thing left for this and that is the academic paper.  Thankfully, I am can double dip on this one and my Capstone (More on this later).  It is basically going to be a 15 page paper that is journal publishable.  That means probably 20 to 30 sources and a little bit of writing to do. This is one of my on campus classes so it has an exam time during exam week.  I will have time to study for that, so no worries until then.

Political Science Capstone: Also a scholarly journal publishable paper. I decided early on that this would be in Health Economics Policy so I could double dip and this idea was accepted by both professors.  I have to give a defense like a thesis on this one too so there is that as well.  I almost wish I had done this with my internship next semester but I figured let’s get everything done so I can start the job search sooner.  Luckily I am basically writing one fifteen page paper and counting it for two things.

This week is one where I need to make sure my three classes (Cross Cultural Communication, GIS and Inferential Statistics) are caught up and stay caught up to the end.  I also need to do a lot of research for this one paper and it has to be scholarly research on Google scholar or the campus library.  I need to have an outline, literature review and thesis fairly soon. Like by Wednesday so I am not planning on getting much sleep or much relax time in.  Tuesday my wife and I have counseling and I am going to have to consider that my break from all this at least this week.

I am initiating a hiatus on all entertainment forms except blogging each day.  I can only engage my routines, my homework and studying for the next two weeks for sure. The reason I can take this is frankly I can see it is coming to an end and by December 16th, I will be effectively finished with everything.  This week is getting the grunt work done, getting things up to date and keeping it there. I suspect a lot of caffeine consumption.

I have to pick up my cap and gown and order tickets for graduation. December 15th is the day but I really only have two weeks for most of this. I also have to finalize my internship for spring term but that should be simply filling out the forms. Time to make it happen.

To battle,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Burning the Candle at Both Ends

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

I was told a couple of days ago at work that I looked like I was tired all the time.  That same coworker who knows I work, go to school and am working on my marriage (my life trifecta) said she was worried because she thought I was burning the candle at both ends.  Like Hitchens I have found in such times, life gives off such a wonderful glow.  It’s too bad that what is burning is your soul.

I have to admit I am probably more tired than usual and my sleep schedule is light most of the time.  I mean 5-6 hours at night with an hour nap thrown in somewhere, maybe if I have time, is not exactly a great amount of sleep but I can pull it off fairly regularly.  That said a day off and I am probably not setting the alarm.

I find this feeling on the one hand just numbing but on the other hand I like pressure as it brings out the best work in me.  I have experienced this many times and know it is both true and creates some of my best creative work.  That’s burning the candle at both ends, and it does lead to more light and heat. I hope I survive it. 🙂

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

If there is any challenge to self-reliance it is that in order to live in modern western society you ‘need’ to have vehicles and insurance.  These things often mean you actually sacrifice on your actual needs.  The nice thing is that school is coming to an end, I am dusting off my resume and will probably start the job hunt beginning of December.  If I can make more money and gain some benefits that will go a long way to following the path to self-reliance.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I like the people  I work with.  I like my team leader.  It is more a matter of the fact that despite I am strong and in good shape that physical labor is still putting on mileage I would rather not feel.  I enjoy working.  What I want to find is work that I enjoy.  Work that doesn’t beat me down physically as much.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Prosperity still needed for more hospitality.  But we do have room for one more mouth at most meals.  I think one day that will be put into actual practice.  The goal is still to achieve prosperity that leads to hospitality.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Been tough this week with The Grey being a little stronger, but following the routine every day keeps things moving forward. I am enjoying the routine at times as it keeps my information of where I am very current so I am being very informed in the everyday decisions.  I am not running blind and in part that is due to the routine.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#2 and #3 are very much in sight and I am thinking that is a very good thing.  Both are the culmination of a dream that started about five years ago of a second and different career.  My old career didn’t end like I expected, but I am now very much in position to start a new one.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Had a lot of knocks to the budget and the plan this week. Mostly in the form of vehicle repairs.  That said we are still floating.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – End of the Semester Surge

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

As Thanksgiving approaches for those of us who are students, the end of the semester surge is upon us where we have too many papers, too many pages of reading left, too many exams to study for and too many projects.  It’s time for the end of the semester surge where we put every waking moment into getting things done. My 49-year-old super senior ass is no exception.

This one is a little different.  It’s my last one of undergrad work for this my third degree. Probably my last ever undergrad semester and to be honest, it makes me a little sad.  I have enjoyed every moment of going back to school even the hard semesters. I have discovered there is a better person here than was there three and a half years ago.  Someone who can face the tests of education in his older age and come out smiling. But most of all it has been my privileged to get to know a younger generation class after class and started me thinking very highly of them.

Most older people decry the younger generation.  The Millennials certainly seem to be a favorite punching bag of those retired and working for a living as an example of entitlement and privilege.  Lazy and naive about real life.  Unable to get out of their glass bubble and face the real world.  I have not found this to be so.  Instead I have found much my like my own generation when we were young; a group of people with diverse points view, dreams and hopes for the future. They work hard in a lot of ways and understand things that I have difficulty grasping.  Mostly I have found  group of people who care deeply about others and the world around them.  They may be different but they are no better or worse than any other generation before them.  The have the same fears and joys. they just express them differently in a different world. I have come to love and respect them,

I am also happy to be done.  I love learning but there is a time to move on and the time is now.  I don’t know completely what the future holds but I am happy for the experience of going to school again and learning.  When I walk across the platform December 15th, I know I will be the happiest I have been in a long time.  I need this achievement because it means I can still do things I want to do.  I can still set goals and achieve them.  No matter what others say, I have this confidence in myself.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I was meditating the other day and a thought came to me about my closure issues. Sometimes you don’t choose when a door gets shut, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk through it again. When it comes to the past I guess this is something to take to heart. I can’t let the past’s open doors be a hindrance to finding new doors to open. Closure will come in its own good time. Honor does not depend on closure, it depends on being positive about my future.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The end of school is fast approaching so the act of bravery that I am contemplating is dusting off my resume and sending it out at month’s end.  I haven’t looked for a new career in a long time.  Note I said career and not job.  I am not sure what occupation I want to be yet.  In that respects I am still a typical college student.  I want to find something that is a career I can enjoy and that leads to better and better things for me and my wife.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

If there is anything that bothers me from time to time it’s when people tell me what they were told that I did and it is far from the truth. This still bothers me, but the rumor mill is what it is.  My question I constantly ask myself is if it is worth it to respond.  My answer is most often ‘No.’  Mostly becasue any person who is just rumor mongering about me isn’t worth the time.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Very solid and the meditation time is more formal. I have it take my phone and it’s stopwatch for it.  Three minutes is usually enough. Once school is done, there might be some changes to it as far as additions but perhaps I would be better served with an evening routine. I have just never had a lot of success with those.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

The more I look at things on this Bucket List, I am thinking my tattoos might be the first thing or at least get the first couple.  Getting drunk and smoking a joint I might keep for a special occasion of some sort.  Writing my Novel will probably start as soon as school is over and I am thinking spend an hour on it minimum as part of the daily routine will replace my study time. Many of the other ones are going to require prosperity.  My wife wants to go on a cruise, I would like it to be a European river cruise that stops in Budapest.

Weightlifting:

The gym question remains.  Much is unknown so I need a gym that will go month to month, but I also have little reason once school is over to drive into the town when my current gym is. It might mean switching to a gym where I currently work and then waiting and seeing what happens to the job situation. For that purpose I have fund a smaller gym in the city I work and that might do very well for me.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Holiday Nutrition

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

My friend recently posted the above meme and generated a very interesting discussion between his wife, himself and the few other friends he tagged.

Whenever I have lost weight I always get the comment: “Holidays are coming, what you going to do then?” Well, for one I am not going to annoy people about my dietary accomplishments.  It undercuts the whole spirit of celebration that is supposed to be around the holidays.

Secondly, I am going to live with the understanding that one day here and there off diet is not going to destroy my plans.  I can participate with my family in whatever they are eating.  If its meat laden I will probably grab more of it along with veggies and fruit where available. I will have things I am not supposed to eat with my diet.  It will be a scheduled cheat day and I will cheat because it is good for the soul to just enjoy life and all the food that is available.

Finally, the rest of the time during the holidays, I will be very strictly Paleo with my intermittent fasting every other week.  This will be at least 6 out of seven days and will more than make up for the one day here and there that is bad. More details do follow.

As for the rest of this journal entry, I am feeling better although this week has been very frustrating as my car has been out of commission, so my wife and I have had to juggle things and borrow.  Our other car has had two flat tires this week.  Yeah, not feeling really friendly toward cars these days.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

My discipline is being stretched right now as the end of the semester is upon me for the last time ( for this degree anyway).  I am really struggling to get things done but it is not as bad as it was.  I am now in the mode where I realize each day a lot of writing needs to get done.  This blog becomes my break from all that academic writing, so I look forward to it every morning.  I am starting to get hard on myself though with the studies. It will pay off.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I haven’t been defeated yet, I haven’t failed in a while.  That said, I prepare myself for the inevitable reality of it.  This is why I spend time meditating and trying to find ways to heal up a little better.  I also prepare my mind for this reality. I know I will fail to get defeated at some point, the preparation is so I get up quickly and get going again as fast as possible.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

The issue of thanksgiving comes up as a loyalty concern to God for some.  I am not sure that is what this holiday is about.  It’s probably more about being thankful that there is a good meal on the table, family, friends and football.  If there is a family holiday it is this one.  I will write a little more on this in next weeks Odin’s Eye, but for now I can say my feelings about this holiday are still the same, but I find that perhaps it was always more about family than faith.

The subject of friendship comes up a lot.  I have lost quite a few and I have cut off more than my share.  I tend to be very loyal to my friends.  Almost to a fault. At the same time my circle is small because I don’t trust at that level with just anyone.  Recent events have made me even more cautious about who I say is my friend.  I am already introverted so most of my friends are extroverts who adopted me or long time friends who are more like family.  I probably could use a few more close friends but because I give much, I expect much in return.

I guess having been so disappointed recently in many of my ‘friends’, I am a little gun-shy about friendship in general. Seems like people only want your friendship because they gain something out of it and the moment you become a problem for them, they dump you. I don’t think I could take that right now, my heart is bruised enough already.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

Solid this week, I only missed a day of walking because a class was cancelled. It still brings up the fact I need to find some alternative when I don’t have school and that will be very soon.

Nutrition:

OK.  The details of this nutritional plan are all about my 50th birthday which is Monday, March 18th, 2019.  MY goal here is to be in the best shape I have been in a long time in terms of fat loss, my muscles lean and strong and the whole thing flexible.  I want to look really good.  My main struggle for years was nutrition, but I think I have found a formula that works for me as evidenced by recent gains.

It’s just not as tight as it could be. I am not strictly Paleo as carbs do find their way into my diet probably every day and I want to handle that.  Mostly it is bread because sandwiches are cheap.  I also would have to say cereal is like that too. I need a bread substitute and something like cereal with the same affordability and quickness of preparation.  Something to research this week.

I haven’t always been strict of have a pattern about the intermittent fasting either.  I want to do this every week. I eat breakfast so I can take my pills and after that I should go on a no food lock down until 2 pm.  My eating window should be breakfast and from 2 pm to 8 pm.  If I get a different job that is more normal than the 4 am to 1 pm I usually work then this would probably shift to noon to 8 pm and I would take my pills at noon. I actually would probably like that a lot.

I am going to run this diet from November 23rd (Day after Thanksgiving) until my birthday and probably to the end of March.  Cheat meals will be the holiday gatherings and birthdays.  I will also give myself three cheats a week during this time which I might add as a part of the weekly routine to count it. In the meantime I need to do some research for Paleo alternatives to certain things.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I don’t know about things here still.  I feel good about some of it and feel other parts of it still need work.  I have discovered that not giving a shit what people think can lead to sense of self value and thus honor.  That said, honor is still a struggle. Courage is much better and so is Truth.  If anything Truth has been off the chain for me lately and I have to exercise a lot more tongue biting than normal.

Business – The basic struggle here is still the same.  My wife and I need to get to a place of financial security that has enough extra prosperity to start working our plans.  Right now things are tight because we need to really increase our income.  Once that happens, Self-reliance and Hospitality will be much easier.  Both of us are definitely hard-working so that’s not a problem.

Self – The friendship fidelity questions remain but the Discipline and Perseverance questions are less and less each week.  I am starting to feel a little more relaxed about things because of those two.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!