Nine Noble Virtues

“Pagan Athiest?” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / 7 Comments

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

I am an atheist who wears a Thor’s Hammer on Thor’s Day (Thursday).  I meditate on the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru because it is quite frankly the best list of virtues from my point of view. My moral philosophy is based on a concept of Odin as a wanderer with his wolves and ravens.  Everything about my ‘spirituality’ centers on the simple concept as presented here within Odin’s Eye – changing one form of sight for another.  Mostly discarding the fear of Christianity and embracing the powerful reality of reality.

So yes, I am a pagan atheist.   I borrow from paganism a lot of things that are simply far more true than most things elsewhere.  I just don’t believe in gods, goddesses or divine powers.  The essence of paganism with its wonder of creation, its respect for life, the individual, free-will, and nature, I can very much embrace.

See the source image

I suppose my former faith would say I have become liberal in a lot of things.  I would say this is true for a lot of things, but I also am more human.  More accepting of others as human beings.  I have studied too much history to be a socialist/ communist as those economic systems violate the laws of economics and fail.  I also don’t follow the gun control notions as I have long studied the history of tyrants and one of the first actions of wolves is to take the teeth away from the sheep.  But other than that, I can respect human beings and their freedom a lot more as an atheist who also has borrowed his ethics and little of his understanding of the world around him from pagans.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

My meditations still remain on the Nine Noble Virtues as well as my moral philosophy and outlook on life.  Insight into my life is a desire here and the world around me and its reality not the fantasy of made-up notions.  I find this is far more useful to my life in practical ways of applying virtue to my life are beneficial consistently.

Mystery:

There is still much to be discovered, I don’t know everything and never will.  But perhaps I can contribute something useful to knowledge or human progress before I am gone.  Something that will also allow me to be remembered for a little while after I am gone. All I know is that I still have a sense of mystery about the universe, but it isn’t fanciful just a wonder that is far more powerful than any religious wonder I have had because it is grounded in the real world.

Spirituality:

I still long in some senses for a sense of community that is more close to myself.  it is probably the only area of spirituality I still need to work on. On the other hand, I have a huge case of trust no one.  My only hope is that the atheist/pagan community understand loyalty a little better.

Conclusion:

I guess I can look at religion for its fruits and decide as an atheist what ideas have been preserved by religion that are actually good. I mean I believe most things that are good were created by us humans and various religions grabbed them when it suited their purpose and used them.  I now know that by simply being social creatures, humans have developed virtues ethics because they aid with survival and prosperity.  Honestly – ‘live long and prosper’ is indeed our motivation and being a pagan atheist I can see what does that clearly.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Rewriting My Virtues” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

So I have reached the point in this rotation where I am back to reconsidering my virtues.  I am actually looking this week to do a little rewriting off them.  Something I have not done for pretty close to a year.

I have been getting memory posts on Facebook from last year regarding this blog and it is very interesting as then things were far different than they are now.  I am a different person but I am still becoming. Following these virtues has been a large part of that and still is part of the process of becoming so it needs to continue.

However, things change as far as understanding of the virtues and I need to change them in small ways to reflect that. Although there will be some if not most that I won’t change at all.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I really don’t have a problem with how this virtue is written as probably it is was Honor and the definition gives for it that drew me to the Nine Noble Virtues in the first place.   Having inner value and recognizing it in others is a noble pursuit.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Another one with no changes,  Pretty simple and straightforward.  In this case, it is not the virtue so much as living up to it that is difficult.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

Once again no rewriting here but a commitment to probably speak out more is probably more necessary.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I have never defined love as I think it has many definitions and they all need to be discussed here.  I have done a few self-love things this week so I am happier.  I probably am overdue for a ‘The Grey and The Wayfarer’ post but that happens sometimes when I engage in self-love actions and then start questioning myself about it.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Good.  I still need my meditation altar stuff though.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“My Spiritual Symbolism: Valknut with Rune Circle” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

My struggles with magic aside, I do believe in the power of symbols. Not magical power per se but more of a power to encapsulate thoughts, concepts, and ideas into a single pattern or image.  For me, these become very powerful focuses that keep me steady in my thoughts and philosophy.  They also remind me of what is spiritually important.

I adopted the valknut as my replacement for the cross right after leaving Christianity.  I had become fairly certain that at least the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru were going to be my new moral code, so I looked for something to symbolize that and the symbol of the Valknut was almost always present in any website I was studying at the time and so made it my own.  The fact that it is connected with Odin and death rituals (burial) only solidified this.  The Grey Wayfarer (me) often wears a pendant of the valknut around his neck on a chain.  Mine also has a circle of runes around it like in the picture above.

Both the valknut and the runes are mysteries as to their full meaning.  Much has been lost thanks to the invasion of Christianity and the subsequent purge that followed them of all things pagan. The valknut and runes apparently were too pagan to find their way to being incorporated into Christian worship and so were actually expunged.  A few examples survive and so what we know is very little.  The valknut is associated with Odin and burial because we find them on gravestones.  Runes are everywhere but they don’t seem to be about language although some modern pagans have made it so.  From a scholar’s point of view, they are largely a mystery as well.

What this meant for me is that I was left to give this symbol and the runes around it their own meaning. So…

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I am a deistic humanistic pagan.  First and foremost I fall on the side that says while religions are bunk and made up for the most part, I don’t dismiss the idea of a supreme being, beings or force of the universe being a real possibility. However, I believe that the only real source of overcoming my own and other human problems is myself and other humans. I am pagan because my spirituality basically draws me back to the spiritual roots of my ancestors. It is far more about heritage than religion for me.  The valknut and runes are a good symbol of that as both call to my Germanic and (hopefully) Scandinavian roots.  It is at least the faith and spirituality of my own spirit regardless of biological genetics.

Meditation:

I suppose my meditation times that I have used the valknut and rune circle are the ones that have given both new meanings for me. Firstly the nine sides of the three triangles became representative of the Nine Noble Virtues.  Later, the nine formed the three triangles of the Higher Virtues of love, Justice, and Wisdom.  All of them are interlocked and the three triangles, if you look closely, cannot be separated fro meach other.  It thus forms a single spiritual path of following virtue, a single symbol – the valknut.  It also because of its connection to Odin serves as a reminder of the finality of life. Virtue is the only thing that gives that life value.

The rune circle around it is all 24 known runes. In many ways, it symbolizes the mysteries of the knowledge of the universe to me. By following the path of virtue, I begin to understand these mysteries better.

Theology:

One of those mysteries is the divine.  Part of that, to be honest, is to assess whether such divine entity or entities exist.  As a diest, I fall on the side of agnosticism that says we don’t know enough to dismiss the idea of the divine, so I believe more in its possibility than it is not possible.  I will give the atheists their due in saying they could very well be right, but at the same time, I don’t think I can myself close my mind, heart, and body off to the idea that a creator or creators exist. It seems too ‘dogmatic’ of ‘fundamentalist’ to me so to speak.

The issue then is to find meaning either way – for me, this is the following the path of virtue as a means to coming to better understandings of the world around me and perhaps finding the answers I seek.  I am a pilgrim searching for truth, wherever I find it.  I am the Grey Wayfarer

Spirituality:

I find spirituality in Virtue.  Virtue allows me to connect with myself, other people and the universe and all it contains. How can one not be connected when following after virtue? For me, this symbol reminds me that part of understanding the universe requires connections.  The path is what connects and virtue is the path.  In meditation, this symbol has proven to be the best focus when I am looking to understand this connectivity to everything else.

Conclusion:

As I meditate more on this, I am sure more things will come to mind.  I have plans to make my meditation time more ‘ritualized’ in that I may have other foci and even some candles and incense.  Regardless, the valknut and rune circle will always be central to it. The centerpiece if you will regardless of what becomes my first meditation altar.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Routine Rewrite”- A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / 3 Comments

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Yeah. I am rewriting my routines again.   Mostly I am trying to make writing more central and along with that reading. This means shifting some things or resigning myself to the fact that days I work don’t have a lot of free time and that is OK.  I am working toward being a published writer and a solid secondary job that allows some progress toward my other goals.

My good report on my health is no cause to rest on my laurels.  I still don’t have a ‘normal’ A1c and I would like to get there. Exercise and nutrition are still central to this so we continue.  Some changes are needed as far as diet and getting back to walking more regularly before the snow flies, and that is all part of my routine as well.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

To be following a full paleo diet I need to do a couple more things.  One is to eliminate all liquids that are not water and two get rid of dairy products.  The first means slowly making sure I drink less and less of other things and put more water into my routine instead. The second is a bit harder, I like cheese and cheese has no carbs.  But I must see if full Paleo has solid effects before I modify it with say some Keto elements.

Another thing I am returning to is intermittent fasting.  Mostly from the time I get up until lunchtime.  I skip breakfast and any early snacking.

My cheats on this are to allow one thing I am craving a day and two cheat meals a week which are basically an hour slot of time where I can eat what I want to eat and drink what I want to drink.  Part for social reasons but also it’s nice to get off script every now and then.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Weightlifting is doing well, but I need to walk more. Fall colors will be out soon and that is not something I want to miss as it is my favorite season.  But also this might be the little bit more that I need to get truly leaned out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Goal achieved here.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Being wise right now is key.  Balance and focus are all important and I need to order my life more effectively so that the things I do each day lead to my eventual success. The best course of action every day is what I am looking for now.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

Of all my routines, this one will probably change the least.  This one is more about execution.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Virtue By Another Name” – Of Wolves and Ravens – The Higher Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion

Having finished a discussion of all the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV), we flip to Side B for “Of Wolves and Ravens” which is ten other philosophical discussions: The Higher Virtues, Eastern Philosophy, Western Philosophy, Love, Minimalism, Economics, Justice, Political Science, Libertarianism and Wisdom. The fact that I do this rotation at least twice a year is no accident as there are other philosophical guides to my life that form a significant part of my philosophy of life.  A philosophical framework, if you will.

This week is supposed to be the Higher Virtues and it still will cover them, but I want to share a discovery I made while reading Essential Asatru by Diana Paxton.  I got to the section near the end on Heathen Virtues and was excited because I was interested to see if there was anything new to discover. This, after all, was why I started gravitating toward Asatru in the first place – the NNV.   What I read as short but impactful because it introduced the simple truth that there were more than the NNV as virtues of Asatru and that there was something also called the Six Goals of Asatru.  In addition to all this, some of the NNV had other names which gave a different spin on their meaning.  While there wasn’t a lot of depth in the book, the simple statement of this was enough to get my wheels turning.

Firstly was the additional virtues that Paxton says some heathen groups have: Equality, Friendship, Strength, Generosity, Kinship, and Wisdom. Wisdom is already one of my Higher Virtues. but the other five merit some discussion.  The ideas of Friendship and Kinship are not fully explained but as I see those words I know that in large part represented by the Noble Virtue of Fidelity.  I treat my friends like family and Kin but the result is the same for all – I am loyal to those who are loyal to me.  Equality and Generosity I would say I have as background understandings of Hospitality and the Higher Virtue of Justice.

One meditation that was good was on Strength.  I could imagine the NNV forming the three strands of the higher virtues of Love, Justice, and Wisdom.  Then Those three strands forming a strong rope – Strength in a multiple-corded rope of virtue.  In a sense Strength is one of the major goals of being a person who follows a code like the NNV.

The Six Goals of Asatru I had never heard of before and it tells me that there may be things inside these Asatru Brethren groups that art taught and encouraged that don’t make it outside them very often. Not secret but not as popular with the general public.

The six goals are: Right, Wisdom, Might, Harvest, Frith (Peace) and Love.  It should be noted Love and Wisdom are already considered by me as part of my three higher virtues. Right, I have dubbed Justice. Frith is a new one for me but it means Peace both personal and community. I feel this is a worthy goal and one that would be the result of Justice, Love and Wisdom are acting their part.  Might and Strength are related. almost the same but the first refers to the strength of the community as a goal and the second personal moral strength, so there is that connection.  Harvest is an interesting one that goes very much with the Virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality.

More significant for me is that Paxton gave different names for some of the NNV that offered a different perspective on how to look at that virtue. Courage has the second name of Boldness.  Truth and Honor remained the same, but Fidelity was called Troth which is a very unique word to use and thus indicates its value to the community. Discipline is called Self-Rule, so the idea of personal sovereignty is a part of the idea of Discipline. Hospitality was the same but given some of the other virtues above it becomes very much defined more concretely with more facets. Industriousness is the same. Self-Reliance becomes independence which the goal of Self-Reliance but I can see where it is a virtue in and of itself. Perseverance becomes Steadfastness which adds as I have remarked before the virtue of standing in the midst of adversity not just getting up from failure; it shows this virtue is also a means to victory, not just a response to defeat.

There is a lot to think about here but for now, my definitions will remain the same as changing those is a soul searching decision. I may, however, look at my higher virtues and meditate on them and some of these new ones more to establish a clearer picture.

What’s the point? Some might ask, well…

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

Men need a code.  Women need a code.

I can tell you what, people should be very glad I found the NNV and started to follow it last year.  If I had not I would be a monster without a code of conduct – destructive to both others and myself. I had that ‘women suck’ moment right after the Breakup with Miss Salty and I can tell you I came very close to becoming the Wolf in both the spirit of Fenrir and the predator at that moment. Chaotic, evil and full of rage.  I can think of nothing scarier than an empath that is malevolent.

The NNV came along and also filled a need for making sense of myself and getting me some sort of focus that I needed.  Otherwise, the wolves would be loose right now and men who wronged me would be targets and women in general objects for my use. In a sense, the NNV helped me find my true self and bring the wolves into my service rather than running wild.

Wants (Freki):

A code also allows you to start focussing properly on what you want and how to properly get it. Otherwise, you have no plan and follow it to the end. Focusing on the virtues you think is important begins to retrain your brain to follow after them and how to achieve them.  This is something you want, trust me.  No greater progress in your life will be achieved until you first find out what you value.

Reason (Huginn):

Mostly though, the NNV brought me back to a reasonable meditation on life and principle. It has brought me to Asatru as a form of spirituality, but it is a rational spirituality, not one that is making shit up. It is focused on value, goals and my journey has purpose because of it.  I am not wandering lost.  I may wander, but I am not lost, I am engaged in the purposeful pursuit of virtue wherever that journey may take me.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find there is greater wisdom in the wisdom you discover for yourself than in ‘wisdom’ that is dictated to you.  No Wisdom is one size fits all, so to speak. The best wisdom is confirmed by virtue and experience combining into something that allows you to live better.  Wisdom may indeed be the highest virtue of them all, but it is also the result of living a code of virtues that you value.  For me, it started with adopting the NNV into my life.

Conclusion:

Essential Asatru has me thinking about virtue a lot since I read that section.  I am looking at it once again very holistically.  Mostly though I am glad I adopted the NNV and began to conceive them in a way that was helpful to me in a very dark time.  It allowed me to see myself as a human being again and more importantly helped me see others as human beings again.  I still have serious trust issues with my fellow humans, but it is getting better.  A lot of it has simply been about being true to myself in the full truth of following the NNV as best I can.

I leave you with Marcus Aurelius:

See the source image Still Walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Different Values” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 15

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Tyr’s Day:

Yeah, I know.  It’s another week without “Of Wolves and Ravens”.  I need to get back to it for my own sake but right now the Grey is a ‘normal’ thing.  I knew July, in particular, would be difficult because of all that happened during this month last year and the reason is the memories are not necessarily bad ones.  It’s kind of like reading a story that has a lot of good things in it and happy times but you know a tragedy is going to hit at the end. Like following your favorite character in a story only to have them die suddenly.  It is that kind of emotion when you look at the story arc in retrospect.

The difference, of course, is the story is mine and I am the character so it is all too real and personal.

Another thing is I keep running into people from my past life as a pastor.  People I haven’t, in some cases, seen in over a year keep finding their way into my life. I play it cool but inside I would rather be far away. That journey is over and I want to leave the pain of it behind along with the people in the story as well.  They turned out to be characters that are not dynamic at all, just who reveal their true nature when someone doesn’t measure up to their expectations.

Of course, this leads to my real problem which is coming to terms in all aspects of my life with a different set of values I now possess.  What is important to me has changed and not in small ways but large ones. A loss of faith and a reevaluation of life will do that to you.  The questions that trouble my mind are ones that would make the writers of Babylon 5 proud: Who are you?  What do you want? Why are you here?

My oldest son recently observed I seem to be searching for something.  Something I haven’t found yet.  The young man has good insight.  I don’t call myself the Grey Wayfarer because it is just a fun persona. It is in many ways the philosophy of my life and one identity that seems to fit me with the expression as the motto of my life: “Not all who wander are lost”. It seems that my values involve a lot of searching and becoming something, but the one thing they do not involve is stagnancy or being unchanging.  For me change, and the chaos and joys that go with it, is becoming more of a desire than a fear.

The Grey is the thing that causes me to be stagnant at times, unchanging and that is the devil of it. The demon I understand.  It is why it is so important to force myself to change when I am depressed.  To keep doing something and keep walking through it is my therapy.

Perhaps that is why I write every single day.  Writing is a lot of things but I would never describe it as stagnant.  It is flowing and changing constantly. The creative process is like that. It is when I can’t write that I worry about me.

The point is also that the Nine Noble Virtues call one to improve and get better.  You can’t be a follower of the Nine without changing.  Every single one of them calls for change and so change is an essential part of my foundational philosophy.  The problem may be that some people in my life are too attached to where we are relationally, and to be in a relationship with me requires you to walk with me from time to time, and where I am is never the same.

I am sure there will be another The Grey and The Wayfarer post very soon.  Hopefully, it won’t fall on Tyr’s Day again.  But this week was some good insight into what makes me keep going because, as I will probably write next time, there are a lot of forces trying to compel me to quit and give up. The Grey is strong, but my desire for change is stronger so I keep walking and seeking what I am looking for.  I will know when I find it what it was.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Family ‘Pagan’? – Odin’s Eye – Paganism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day.    

Discussion:

Them: “So you’re a pagan?”

Me: “Sort of, I have pagan tendencies”

Them: “Pagan tendencies?”

Me: “Yeah, I believe the pagan spiritual concepts are pretty interesting, but I am not much into religion anymore, so I am not into that part of it.”

I know this conversation because I have had it a couple times.  To say you are spiritual but think all religion is made up is a hard thing for people to grasp. I mean I have my rituals of meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues and my ritual of putting on my pendant for the day but that is pretty much it. Mostly I look at paganism spiritual concepts as a way to address the possibility of spiritual reality.  In truth, I lean toward the deist side of things with an unknowable divine creator(s). The paganism simply allows me to reach out with my own sense of love and spirituality and address the question of what that divine creator or creators might be.

The issue of course for my family is that they are mostly Christian with a few exceptions.  Mostly though I think they have trouble dealing with their long-time husband, father, and grandfather, who used to be a devout Chrisitan, who now doesn’t even go to church or even pray anymore. n short I have a far easier time adjusting to them than they do to me.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

My faith these days is more about lining up my spiritual philosophy of the Nine Noble Virtues with real life.  Living virtuously means more to me than the whole mythology of choice thing. I like the Norse myths but the idea that any of those gods actually exist is the real of fantasy and no better or worse than any other mythology out there.  For me, Norse mythology is closer to my ancestral roots and resonates with me more. But I ain’t praying to Odin or Thor. If there is any concept I like it is that we don’t pray to them.  If there is a divine power of some sort, I would rather have this attitude of standing with them rather than bowing before them.

The reality of my faith is that if there is a god or not is irrelevant to it.  If there is my pursuit of virtue should be honored. If there isn’t living by virtue in this world has its own rewards.  Either way, this is the reality f choice when it comes to faith.

Religion:

My pagan religious aspects are few:

  1. I meditate on the Nine Noble Virtues every morning along with my goals.
  2. I put my pendant around my neck for the day after taking my shower.  Mostly this marks the end of my morning routine.
  3. I try to view all of life as a large spiritual lesson.
  4. I celebrate holidays with my family and do it more with a pagan mindset, which is very easy as Christians have stolen most of the symbols for their holidays from the pagans.

I suppose you could add that I study pagan spirituality and religious practice as like reading about the Norse myths. I suppose if I were to ever join a Brethren it would be more for companionship and common interest. Not really all that different than most people in the church.

Theology:

Human beings are emotional, physical and rational.  My theology simply adds spiritual to the mix as a way of tying that all together.  There is a unified cohesion to things when you add the spiritual to me. That’s pretty much it.

Spirituality:

That spirituality is what gives me my pagan tendencies as I follow the basics of looking at life through a spiritual eye from time to time. Paganism is very much a matter of individual spiritual taste and I embrace that.  mY pagan tendencies fit me and who I am and that is pretty much Ok with every pagan I know.

Conclusion:

I guess i am content to be the family ‘pagan’ for now.  I don’t have too many problems with it. So far things are simply awkward when people want to talk about church and Jesus and I don’t really live in that context anymore.  Nor do I wish to ever again.

 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Deadly Grey Storm” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 13

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Hmm.  Lucky 13?

I haven’t done a warning/disclaimer on one of these posts in a while and this one will probably need one.  I am going to be very open here emotionally and if you don’t want to be inside that storm of mine known as depression (aka The Grey) just don’t read any further.  My purpose here is mostly to sort out my own emotions. For some reason that works better when I know I am going to publish them publically and always has.  I don’t get it either, but trust me, I know the difference between this and private journal entries and it is night and day as far as honesty.  I really lie to myself when it’s private.

I have been having a real battle with The Grey these days.  A real fucking storm that feels as deadly as a lightning bolt for my psyche.  It started as soon as the week that transitions from June to July and it all as to do with memories. But I now am beginning to realize that it is also about this continued struggle between my own happiness and trying to make others happy.

The questions continue: How much of my own happiness do I need to give up in order for others to be happy? At what point will I cross that line again where I become fucking miserable and feel trapped? In feeling trapped, at what point do I fucking lose it again?  Can I keep the animal inside, the monster caged? Do I even want to keep him caged?

There is still a hole that got ripped into my life last summer that none of the events of this last year have filled. A scar that still bleeds inside no matter how much I try to forget and move on. The doom of grey clouds that swirl while they are tapping into that hole in my heart is sometimes overwhelming, and I don’t know why. Why can’t I get over this?  Why do I still think of her and what happened? Why do I still revisit the pain of this over and over again?  A real pain in my soul.  Most of the time I use it as fuel for a lot of things.  ‘Pain as Fuel’ is a theme of mine, but there are times it hurts too bad.

The pain of the loss of friendship dots the landscape too.  The betrayal that revealed a man who was never my friend but a silent hater and took the opportunity to do all he could to destroy me when I made my mistake. Why do I keep this letter from my church that is so painful to me?  Sometimes it motivates me, but other times it just makes me angry and sad.  Some days all I really want is one free shot at a man who is as false as a three dollar bill and whose friendship is half as valuable.  Who most people in the church think is wonderful, but now I see the truth of his hypocrisy and narcissism. The image of him lying bleeding and broken makes me smile and then I get worried about that image even being in my head.

Emotions are strong and run the gambit from anger…no check that…fury to deep sadness to shame and back again.  My insomnia runs deep sometimes because the dreams and nightmares are back and they hurt to have them.  So some nights I don’t sleep well at all and other nights not at all. I knew it would be bad but this much more than I expected.  Why am I trying to simply get a mere five minutes of peace of mind at least once a day?

Religion was no help before and it still isn’t.  Worthless is my old faith.  No amount of believing in fairy tales and imaginary friends helps anymore.  I know it is up to me and that’ the bottom line.

Sometimes the Nine Noble Virtues help but sometimes they are the problem as I try to apply them:

  1. Fidelity – I am trying to be loyal to some of my loyal relationships but at the same time be loyal to myself and I find that it is getting harder not easier. I have given up a lot of what I want in order to stay true to others.  One relationship, in particular, seems neglected – the one to myself.  It is starting to become apparent to me that I have given up some loyalty to myself to maintain the others. Are my loyalties simply contradictory by nature and that is the problem?
  2. Courage – I need freedom like water to a dying man in a desert. But, I lack the courage sometimes to board the ship.  The storm is great right now, so motivation and courage are at best difficult.  But is it an act of courage that is needed where I face the truth, board the ship in the bad weather and sail anyway?
  3. Truth – why is it so much easier to write my feelings like this than say them? Is the answer obvious but I don’t want to take that path because others would be unhappy if I did?
  4. Honor – Some days I would give a lot for the simple feeling that I have some value to myself.  Last year at this time I had that and then it was suddenly yanked away.  It has been a hard haul every since with honor.
  5. Perseverance – I keep getting up, but I wonder why.  What is the point?
  6. Discipline – Have I disciplined myself enough before the storm to ride it out? Is staying disciplined the way out?

Lots of questions here, not a lot of answers.

The Grey Storm is great and my only real fear at this point is that I won’t see the fork in the road I need to take to get out of it. Or, that I won’t last to see the end of it.  I know something will take me out in the end.  I just am not sure what it will be, but I will never stop trying if not for any other purpose that I want to give Death the middle finger as I pass her in the rain.  Not today bitch.

It all adds up to one big Grey Storm that I am trying to navigate.  Spear in hand; Ravens at the shoulders: Wolves at my feet. Hoping it ends soon because I need to see the path and take the right steps.

If you have read this, thanks for taking the time for reading the ramblings of a tired old wanderer.  I just want to be happy again and all this dwelling on the past undercuts that.  I would like to get past it, but it has never been easy for me to do so.  Relationships leave an indelible mark on my soul because of who I am and it just isn’t that easy for me. Even when I do the INFJ door slam, it takes a lot to get there.  My heart is easily bruised and damaged and part of that damage is the mark people leave behind that I can’t shake.

Well time to end this for now.  I strongly suspect there will be another The Grey and The Wayfarer very soon as the saga of my journey will continue and right now it is pretty dramatic.

Still Walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Asatru and Courage” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Courage

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time

As I was reading the Asatru website Ravenbok on Courage I realized that there is one aspect of courage that even that website admits that most followers of Asatru fail at and that is having courage about what they believe. It is this folding to the prevailing Christian culture or whatever other religious culture exists and not coming out and telling people you are pagan is what they are talking about here.  Courage is lacking in this regard although anyone who wants to know where I stand simply has to read this blog and its The Pagan Pulpit.

Just for the record, I am a diest humanist that has very pagan tendencies when it comes to spirituality.  I don’t really have a problem saying it.  Social acceptance be damned!  Perhaps this is one area of Asatru I do better in.  I don’t proselytize as that is not very pagan but if someone asks, I sure as hell will tell you where I stand.

But I get it.  For literally millennia the Abrahamic religions have hunted down pagans and killed them.  Hell, the Bible has in the book of Joshua that not only justifies this Genocide but clearly paints a picture that the biblical god would not be pleased with his people unless they killed every man woman and child.  Well, except virgin girls so the men could make them their wives. In this atmosphere, it can still be hard to have the courage to say you’re a pagan to people who have demonstrated historically that they will come up with multiple and twisted reasonings to subject and kill those that disagree with them.

For myself, I follow the virtues of Asatru and they remind me Courage is a commitment to do the right thing at the right time, every time. That includes when people ask me what church I go to tell them –  I don’t go to church.  My place of worship is every place that I am and my act of worship is to act at all times according to the virtues of Asatru.

Website: Ravenbok – The particular page is: The Values of Asatru

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

Courage is the most needed virtue in the face of Fear.  Courage is a choice and a needed choice if one is going to do anything.  Our world gives us lots of things to fear. Politics and religion encourage us to fear because it makes us easier to manipulate. Courage is the needed choice to be free.

I need a lot more courage in expressing my self verbally. I guess it is my personality.  The few other INFJ types in know all have the same problem.  Being natural empaths we don’t want people to feel bad because then we feel bad ourselves. So we find alternate ways of expressing our feelings.  In my case, I find it far easier to write my feelings than say them.  That way I can’t feel people’s reactions to my written words.  I need to overcome this to a point that I can face those feelings bravely.

Wants (Freki):

It is this freedom that gives the desire (want) to embrace liberty and self-reliance. Better to live free and die than to bow in chains.  You need and want courage because it is the means to liberty and freedom of choice. Otherwise, your fears will lead you into chains.

I know there is a freedom o open expression.  I have had it a couple times where I and the other person could talk freely about what we felt and ti was very liberating.  I just have to have the courage to take the steps I can on my side to get there.

Reason (Huginn):

That said, there is a great deal of difference between foolhardy and courage.  There is no courage in paying a price or dying for nothing. Courage should cause us to fight for the things that matter.  Part of real courage is reason.  Rational courage is what we are making choices about not being afraid of the things in our way of a better life, not knee jerk martyrdom.

When it comes to expressing myself verbally,  I know what I need to do.  I know it is reasonable and wise.  That is not the problem.  It is, in the end, making the choice to be brave.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Some times the wisest path to walk is the one that involves facing our fears and overcoming them.  It gives us the strength to face later challenges.  Courage has wisdom to it when it is used for a purpose because it leads to the building of character.  And no one has ever built character into their lives without acts of courage.  Fear and cowardice only lead to the things people despise in their more rational and wise moments.

Conclusion:

‘I walk with courage. I follow the old ways. I strive for honor. I know what I stand for.  I am proud of that.  I am heathen.’

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Basic Pagan Principles – Everything is Sacred” – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Rune” – SKALD (lyric video)

English Translation: https://lyricstranslate.com/en/r%C3%BAn-rune.html

A little long about the Runes.

Meditation:

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Just a little reminder of last weeks lesson before we hit this one.

Text:

Most pagan religions believe that everything in the universe is sacred, but the definition and level of sacredness applied to an object will generally vary from one pagan to another. For some pagans, all parts of our universe are considered divine and as such, sacred and worthy of our deepest respect.

Source: http://exotic-pets.yoexpert.com/exotic-pets-general/what-are-some-of-the-basic-principles-of-paganism-2192.html

Sermon:

Everything is sacred in paganism.  This means there is no distinction of things as evil or good which is the first significant implication of this principle.  No object or thing is better than another.  Objects and places are all sacred. So they cannot be evil or good. Moral ‘evil’ or ‘good’ is found in our actions, results, and intents, not things. Yet all things have a spiritual quality to them.  This is mostly to remind us that we are connected in some way to everyone and everything around us.

Like all things pagan, this principle is individually applied and its application is as individual as the pagans themselves. We each see some things as more sacred than others. That’s why in some forms of paganism there are still religious aspects with sacred places, practices, and rituals.  Some consider the universe itself as divine while others see it more as spiritual but not necessarily divine.  Like I said at this point there is a lot of variances but in the end, there is nothing wrong with any of these views. Paganism is very genuinely tolerant, so to each their own.

For me, the religious aspects of paganism are not my thing. I live with a more deistic mindset on those things, although I understand the benefits of community and honoring things that are virtuous and respecting the past, present, and future actions of my fellow human beings.  I suppose I consider human beings and their liberty as the most sacred thing as a humanist, so it is reflected in my paganism. For me, my paganism is ultimately found in Asatru and following the Nine Noble Virtues.

As far as the rest of creation as being sacred that includes the things that man creates. not just the natural world.  Human beings and what they do are also natural and I feel the whole natural/ artificial thing is a bunch of noise.  Where did the so-called ‘artificial’ come from if not nature?  A computer is just as sacred to me as a tree.  Beavers create dams, bees make hives, humans create computers.  The difference is only in the mind of people who want to use this distinction to control others. I am far more a conservationist than an environmentalist.

The beauty here though is once again freedom of choice about it.  It is simply a principle that flows out of the previous principles that your beliefs are your own and you alone are responsible for them.  This includes how you look at the world around you.

Parting Thought:

 

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Tolerance (the real stuff), admiration, compassion, kindness – these are real love and they don’t involve – obedience, conformity, fear or submission.  Those are not aspects of love – rather they are aspects of slavery.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!