A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Getting Specific

November 12, 2018November 12, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

It is in moments of crisis that the Routines and Goals you have keep you focused and allow you to chart a course through it. This week I have had my car breakdown and come to the realization once again that my employer, a company I have worked for before, is questionable in regards to backing me up. I really hate working for other people. You are just vulnerable to their whims and it sucks if they clearly are more about the bottom line, than taking care of their people.

So, I refocus on my goals and readjust my plans. I mentioned though that my goals list is a little non-specific and that needs to change. I usually discuss my goals under Business virtues but I think in order to do that I need to make the changes to being more specific now.

Goal List (current):

Strengthen Marriage
Finish my Political Science Degree
Advance Career
Monitor and Control Finances
Write for my Blog – 1 post per day average.
Exercise
Follow a Solid Diet Plan
Create and work a Bucket List.

I also want to add a goal about my 50th birthday (March 18, 2019) which is to be in the best health possible. So a little revision:

Goals List (revised):

Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
In 2019 have a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I am hoping with these goals being more specific with measurable, deadline oriented results, things will go much better. This will be the goal list from now on and appear every Wednesday on Business Virtues.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I have some recent challenges to this feeling of self-value. I can’t go into details but the closure thing is still weighing heavy as well as trying to find something that give’s me value to myself. I have had to look to the future to find things that are positive, because the current situation in a lot of ways has become difficult suddenly.

I am working on being positive. I just get tired sometimes about the setbacks. I would just like things to go really well for once.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Have to say some things to my boss as early as possible this week. Things need to be clearly understood. I know what needs to be done and what the right things is so all that is left is to act.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I am spending a lot of time in silence but there are those moments I know I need to say something. That’s when courage comes in. But the main thing is I need to get moving with pursuing what I need to pursue. Facing the truth of my situation and doing something about it.

School needs to be a love for the truth, I feel my blogging needs to head that direction as well. Finding truth, knowledge and wisdom is something I have always had as a part of my life and I think this should never change. I want to be learning something on my deathbed, if it comes to that.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Meditate on One of the Virtues
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

This is the one thing that is going well. Very well. Probably the meditation could be a little more formalized but other than that, I feel good about everything here.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
Start my own business

By setting a goal of accomplishing one thing on my bucket list every six months, I have kind of raised the bar here. The question is which ones to work on every six months. My best strategy might be to work on a few of them at all times. If I were to pick the low hanging fruit of this list right now it would be to get my tattoos, get drunk, smoke a joint (more possible given that Michigan legalized recreational use) and write my novel. It’s doesn’t mean I won’t work on the rest, I am just actively trying to get one finished. My first deadline is July 1st of 2019, so on these I have a little more time.

Recent events have reminded me of the reasons I wanted to start my own business. There is a vulnerability in working for someone else that has just become unacceptable to me. I don’t want to be put into a position where I must accept retirement or less hours, layoff, etc. I want to be my own boss. I know that has risks, but I would rather be at my own mercy than someone else’s.

Weightlifting:

My major concern here is my current gym might close. I also have to think about where I might be in the future. When it comes to gyms I have had to acknowledge that I am up in the air here for a lot of reasons, most notably is that I don’t know where I am going to be working. My life is changing chapters and part of that is that my gym may very well change.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Freddie Mercury – Actually Genuine

November 11, 2018November 11, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here. We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it. Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it. Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Today’s Pagan pulpit celebrates the life of man who probably was the best front man in Rock and Roll ever. Period. Given that a movie has been recently released about his life, it is only fitting that on this day the Pagan Pulpit pays tribute to the front man of the legendary rock band Queen – Freddie Mercury.

Opening Song: Hammer to Fall – Queen:

I start with a lesser known song by Queen. Don’t get me wrong this song is known, but it’s just a straight rock song. It is Rock n Roll of the era and actually stands out because of it. Queen was a rock band that defied genre classification because every song was so different. This one is classic rock and roll and quite frankly really good rock and roll. “To those that stand proud, in the shadow of the mushroom cloud.” Cold War Song as well and one I relate to very well.

Poem:

Not so much a poem this week as a quote about lyrics and poetry by Freddie. I think in part nails the problem I had with poetry for years which was trying to find meaning in them instead of discovering it. Sometimes when looking at lyrics and poetry, it just hits you and that’s when you know what it means.

Meditation:

Song of Preparation: Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen:

I don’t really have to say anything here about Queen’s probably most recognized song and the most ironic. It is because their producer wouldn’t do this song, Queen left him and went elsewhere and the rest if history. Their magnum opus that moved them from being a rock band to a legend.

Text:

I am not afraid to speak out and say the things that I want to, or do the things I want to do. So I think in the end being nature and being actually genuine is what wins, and I hope it comes out in my songs. – Freddie Mercury

Sermon:

As I read this quote I was struck by the phrase ‘actually genuine’. I wish I could find such people or even better be such a person myself. It seems this world wants to tell you ‘be yourself’ until you actually do it and then the refrain becomes – “not like that.” People don’t really mean that ‘be yourself’ what they mean is ‘be yourself as long as it doesn’t offend me’ or ‘stays within the normal parameters of what is acceptable’.

Freddie Mercury definitely hits the thing that people don’t like – someone who is actually genuine. Someone who truly speaks their mind and are themselves. He lived that and it made him remembered and legendary.

I think we all know what it takes to be successful, we all know what it would be to be truly ourselves. Most of us chicken out because we perceive the cost becomes to great. We settle. People like Freddie Mercury shame us though – he didn’t settle. I think he wrestled with it the same as us, but he was not going to give up what he wanted to be or say just to please others.

I want to be like that. I am tired of compromising what I say and do at times just so people like me. I want to be actually genuine.

Parting Song: Live Aid – Queen Full Concert – Queen:

Probably the best live rock concert ever. Less than 25 minutes but no one who saw it live forgets it regardless if they were actually there or watched it on MTV. The Movie Bohemian Rhapsody takes out two songs but this is the actual tape of the whole thing. Enjoy the ride.

Objective achieved, Freddie Mercury. Objective achieved.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – My Bohemian Rhapsody

November 7, 2018November 7, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody last night with my daughter. She became a 1980s music fan early on and so she definitely has a bridge between herself and her two parents that her two brothers do not have. Although I do believe both my sons appreciate Bohemian Rhapsody as a song. I can say that watching that movie with her is an experience I will never forget. My little girl is all grown up, but for a couple hours, it was just my little girl, me and the band Queen.

Freddie Mercury is one of those legends of music so powerful that even to today people listen to his songs and love them. Queen was one of those bands that defied genres and still managed to do every single song thy did with skill, style and power. I was a devoted Christian when Freddie died and all my Bible College friends were saying he was roasting in hell because of AIDS and homosexuality. Peer pressure says that I had to agree with them to avoid scrutiny, but in one private moment I shed a few tears at the loss of Freddie Mercury. Some people are bright stars that burn out way too quickly and Freddie Mercury was one of them. Bohemian Rhapsody remains one of my favorite songs to this day along with tons of others from Queen.

Queen songs have these things called lyrics. Real deep lyrics. They also have something that is missing in a lot of others these days – talent that can’t be faked or altered in the studio. It was one take after another until they got it right. No auto tune, not electronic alteration. Just guys with their instruments and voices played and sung well. I miss that.

The movie ends with the Live Aid Concert that was probably the best concert of Queen’s career and probably the last time people saw the full showman that was Freddie. After that they did many great concerts but that one stands as the moment Queen ruled the world of rock and roll and Freddie was a living legend. I can’t tell you how the human moment touched me once again and probably deeper. When I first saw Live Aid as a teenager in high school, I watched it on MTV live and thought what a great moment in time. Now that I know more fully the human struggle that it took for that moment to take place, I appreciate it even more. I still miss Freddie. He is someone I would have definitely liked to meet.

For me though such movies are a double edged sword. They bring out my emotions and they cause me to do a lot of reflection. Freddie made his mark because he insisted on what he wanted and fought for it. He fought a lot with himself but he also in the end was both at peace with who he was and what he was doing. I want that and I don’t think I have ever completely had it. I have compromised a lot because greater things were at stake at times. But this movie and Freddie Mercury have me thinking about living life without regrets and without compromise. I want my Live Aid moment like Freddie had. I don’t know what that would be for me but I want it and I don’t want to compromise to get it.

The problem with the past is it is something we edit and find the good or the bad moments rise to the top and every thing else fades away. Bohemian Rhapsody the movie brought out several good moments for me but all of them are in the past and I want some more in the future. It’s been a hard sleepless evening. Whether that is good or bad I guess I will wait and see. But my sadness is coupled with a longing to see Bohemian Rhapsody played out in my own life. A hunger and desire is building in me and I am sure the movie and those memories had a lot to do with it.

I don’t know if they will ever read this, but to the people who made the movie Bohemian Rhapsody – thank you. If there was ever a life that needed to have a movie about him, its Freddie Mercury.

I also want to thank my daughter for taking her old man to see it. Thank you, Bug.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – The State of My Mind

November 7, 2018November 7, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal:

My Mind – Not something people want to know unless you are part sarcasm, part dark humor and with a little asshole thrown in. There is also The Grey to consider here, I debated whether depression is a mental thing or a heart thing but I would say it is a mental battle you fight to protect your heart. The Grey is kind of the feeling I get during this battle. Sometimes it affects my heart, sometimes not.

This summer I found myself engaged in a lot larger dark thoughts than normal. I was conflicted in a lot of ways. On the good side there was an intense relief not to be in the pulpit anymore. An honest attitude and thought process began about my non-faith and more reasonable approach to life began this summer. If it hadn’t been for my heart being drawn to something that ultimately hurt me, I might have been OK. Hurt however makes it very hard to think until it wakes you up like a cold shower in the morning.

That led to the dark side of thoughts. I can’t say I am proud of what I was thinking at the time. Mostly it was my desires driving my thoughts; which is why after I came out of this fog, I initiated my Wolves listening to the Ravens policy motto.

Right now, I am trying to get things back into focus. It is not easy because I still want what I wanted, but I have to be very real in how it is going to be achieved. In the case of mind the Business Virtues fit because it is about getting down to the business of life and thinking through how things need to be and what steps need to be taken.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

In being self-reliant there is an underlying philosophy of minimalism that I follow. I am not an extreme minimalist but I do have two criteria for keeping things I own. 1) Is it useful to me and have I used it in the last year. 2) Does it give me joy. If I look at something and I cannot answer yes to either question, it disappears.

The reasoning behind this is that things can slow you down, weigh you down and cause you to make decisions that are not the best or to your advantage. It’s also why I don’t have pets at this time anyway. I just don’t have the proper time or energy to give to a dog (don’t like cats) or say a raven. As I get older time is a most precious commodity, so I don’t want to spend it taking care of stuff that is not useful or enjoyable. This means it takes less to be self-reliant as well.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Being efficient is an economics thing and I love economics. I also love to create things and one of the things I am learning is the creativity of all work. There is something you are creating even in stocking shelves and that is opportunity for the product to meet the customer. It makes all work enjoyable when you can see the creative part of it. Creativity isn’t just a product of heart but also the mind.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

The reason I would say hospitality is more of a mental thing than a heart thing is that to do it right you have to plan for it. It takes real preparation for you to always be ready to help. To be in a position of abundance so that you can help others in need takes a long-term strategy and so that is what I am employing.

In part also is the need perhaps to host a support group of some sort maybe a year from now. I am not sure for what but I know that I started to slip mentally and emotionally when this left my life so I need it back. The reason I say a year from now is I need to heal and rebuild some things first.

Daily Routine:

Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging
Reading – 1 hour per day.
Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
Empty In Box
Financial Transaction Input

Pretty Good here. Can’t complain too much anyway. If there is any weak spot its the homework and reading. School is hard because the only interesting class to me this semester is Health Economics but only for the Economics part, not the Health part. I am getting better though now that I look at each assignment in each class as a chance to be creative.

Goals:

Strengthen Marriage
Finish my Political Science Degree
Advance Career
Monitor and Control Finances
Write for my Blog – 1 post per day average.
Exercise
Follow a Solid Diet Plan
Create and work a Bucket List.

I am closest to the goal of finishing my degree. The rest of these goals have a continual aspect to them and I am OK with that but it does call into question how do I measure them other than in terms of streaks of how long I have gone with each one. I figure I can add a couple because like my bucket list I can have 8-10 things on it. I may also edit this list in the coming week so the goals are a little more measurable.

Budgeting:

Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
Debt Snowball
Fully funded Emergency fund
Invest 15% of income into retirement
Pay off Home Early
Build Wealth and Give

Still stage 1 but I feel that things can move forward although it is very slow. Once I have a better paying job, I think I can actually work the first three parts fairly quickly.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – The Business Virtues – Dreaming Big

October 31, 2018October 28, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal:

I think the whole plan is starting to come together and this is now more about acting and adjustment than actual planning. I am starting to dream big again and I like the assertive confidence it is creating in me. It’s nice to feel a little more sense of honor and discipline coming back into my life.

I still struggle with the emotions of loss. I had several relationships cut short by my own actions and the actions of others. I am working on restoring my most important relationship with my wife but the others remain difficult. People can say ‘come on over and we will talk and still be friends’ but I know the reality of that is either just being polite or it would truly be awkward and everyone knows it. In one relationship, I am actually not sure what I would feel, but as I said Monday, I think there is still a closure problem with it, at least with me.

What seems to help the most is staying true to the Big Dreams I have on my bucket list and working toward them. It’s baby steps at this point. I hope in the future it will be larger steps. One day the dreams will be reality, so I work toward them. It is perhaps this process that will pull me out of this funk I seem to get into every once and a while.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Blessed independence. There are a few things unmet yet that are wants but needs are met and that is a good thing. One ‘need’ might be health insurance at this point but in truth me and my wife will muddle through until we have opportunity to get some when we are making more money. Hopefully that won’t take too long.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

My current work is sometimes an enjoyable thing. I like the feeling that I actually did something useful. Been a while since I felt that way. I do work to make my job efficient but now I have come to see doing so at home as far as cleaning and organizing things can have that quality too. Even school work is starting to be enjoyable again. I still have my struggles but the routines and focusing on the future seem to be helping.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I have big dreams of being prosperous, but part of that is the idea of being in a position to be hospitable and giving back. My motivation is not hording wealth so much as prosperity I can share with others. Right now If someone were truly in need I could help them by at least giving them a place on the floor in the living room and sharing a meal with them.

The dream is far larger than this. I want to be able to help people more often. Setting up a charity perhaps but more practically, I know the main thing people need is support and that often involves a serious look at yourself in an atmosphere of loving accountability. My one regret in ministry in my last church is changing the prayer group from a spiritual self-evaluation session into just a bible study.

I really think support groups are far more needed where a person can be honest about what is going on in their life and get emotional and other support. When that changed, I personally lost the ability to be accountable to myself and I think that left me vulnerable and it cost me. I would like to restore that and give it to others who also need it like myself.

Daily Routine:

Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging
Reading – 1 hour per day.
Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
Empty In Box
Financial Transaction Input

Daily routines are a little harder. Mostly time is a factor. I always have to juggle sleep with getting the routine done for the day. Or I try to stick with the priority order but priorities do change depending on circumstances. Some things on this list will take less time if I stay up on them as this problem will become less of a problem as I keep doing what I need to do each day.

Goals:

Strengthen Marriage
Finish my Political Science Degree
Advance Career
Monitor and Control Finances
Write for my Blog – 1 post per day average.
Exercise
Follow a Solid Diet Plan
Create and work a Bucket List.

Dreaming Big. When I look at this list of goals the picture of taking steps to get to the dream of owning my own business and retiring to be the philosopher/writer in the woods doesn’t seem so unattainable. As I check off items on all these lists, I think I will begin to see that more clearly. Right now its the early stages so its hard to see the big dream come to fruit but as the months go by and things get checked off this list, it will get clearer.

Budgeting:

Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
Debt Snowball
Fully funded Emergency fund
Invest 15% of income into retirement
Pay off Home Early
Build Wealth and Give

Step 1 still in progress. The issue is going to be any extra income needs to be saved into an emergency fund until we get $1000. Once school is finished I need to find some ways to make more money: either a better job, second job or taking matters into my own hands.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Voting or Playing the Lotto

October 30, 2018October 30, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Introduction:

I am on campus a lot as a student and have been over this last three and a half years and at every election time the message by the school is clear, get out there and vote. “It’s your civic responsibility”. “You can make a difference.” The problem with being an Economics Minor is when you start doing an analysis of voting using economic law and principles, you discover to your horror as a Political Science Major that your individual vote matters little.

It was humorous this last week as the Power Ball Lotto reached 1.6 Billion and I saw people lining up around the country for their almost statistical zero chance of winning it. Many of same people will adamantly tell me I am wasting my vote by voting for Libertarian candidates because they won’t win. The irony is a little thick there because voting is very much like playing the lotto. You are doing an action that might have the very small statistical chance of actually affecting the outcome of an election.

On to the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I am doing a little bit of switch here because as I already indicated I am a libertarian and so the first thing I am going to talk about is whether government is legitimate. I think it in most cases is not even necessary. Like I said on Sunday in the Pagan Pulpit on Havamal 47 – people in general are decent people. There are always bad apples and some people want protection against those apples, so humans start out with the idea of government as a means to do that. If I take a Classical Liberal position you have government needed for a way of settling deputes and to provide protection of human rights, this would involve a need for courts, internal security (fire and police) and defense. Other than that most other things could be handles by voluntary associations and the free market.

Wants (Freki):

So if we need this minimal government and we want it, how do we get it? Democracy is the notion that the majority rules by voting and that the majority gets the action that they voted for. There are several problems with this. 1) I don’t want this decision to affect myself or others negatively but when the majority rules the effect is felt on those that want the action and those that don’t. 2) I am forcing the other side to my will if my side wins. If I am a decent human being, forcing another to do something they don’t want to do or affects them negatively, should be distasteful to me. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be part of something that is about the tyranny of the majority. What we have in voting and democracy most of the time is mob rule, and the person who can rally the biggest mob around them wins.

Reason (Huginn):

OK. Time to look at voting rationally. Two things: 1) The power of the individual vote is insignificant and 2) There are only a few times where your vote can actually matter.

The first is the simply point that the value of a single vote in any election is 1 over N. N being the number of votes actually cast in that particular election. This means the larger and election, the more statistically insignificant your vote is. You actually probably have more of a chance of affecting the outcome of smaller local elections than anything else. The most power if have had personally in this regard is when I sat on two school boards and had a one seventh of a chance of actually casting a deciding vote.

The other part is knowing that the only time you actually to cast a significant vote is when you either break or cause a tie. Otherwise you are just part of the mob. In truth what you are doing is playing the political lotto hoping that you are part of the mob that wins. Also, if you are part of the mob that loses then your vote was wasted and if the election is won, every winning vote beyond what was need to win is a wasted vote. There are a lot of insignificant and wasted votes every election and the most of them are actually cast for the two major parties.

This is why people don’t get informed because I think they instinctively know this. There is little point in spending a lot of time on something that you know won’t have much effect; if any, on the outcome. So people vote their feelings or party line because it doesn’t require much thought.

Wisdom (Muninn):

So what, then? Where does wisdom fit in? I can only say that it might have little to do with voting or government in general. If we were wise we would give government little power and maintain that individuals have strong rights the government can’t take away by voting. Oh, yeah that’s what the founders gave us but we keep going down the path to less individual rights and more government. A course that is not wise, but the desire for security over freedom keeps leading us to despise “The Blessings of Liberty”. . Perhaps people should reconsider that maybe our founders here in the United States were in a sense political geniuses and we should respect their intelligence of individual rights over government power.

Conclusion:

Yeah, I vote. But don’t tell me my vote matters or its my civic duty. For me it is more like other people playing the lotto. It’s that slim chance I might make a difference, that I might be in the winning mob. I do it for the thrill of marking my choices and hoping like the power ball player gets his number and dreams. I do it for the thrill of knowing that there is a statistically better chance that I will be involved in a fatal car crash on my way to the polls, than my vote will make a difference – it’s kind of like sky diving for a political scientist.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 95 – The Unattainable Desires of Life

October 21, 2018October 21, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here. We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it. Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it. Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Open Song: Halestorm – Amen

It is no secret that I gravitate toward songs and bands who speak about faith and religion and so this song by Halestorm is sort of one of my anthems from time to time. The words speak to me and definitely get my ‘Amen’.

Poem:

I will leave the poetry to The Ruined Man this week. Definitely my thoughts about myself this week. There are simply some things that have to be dealt with alone.

Meditation:

I am not a big one for fate. I think we make our own luck and our own success. This proverb definitely resonates with me.

Song of Preparation: Smash Mouth – Walkin’ On The Sun:

Some things are indeed impossible and other things make you shake your head. Smash Mouth seems to get that in this song.

Text: Havamal 95

Only the mind knows
what lives near the heart;
a man is alone with his own spirit.
There is no sickness worse
for any wise man
than to have nothing to love.

Sermon:

There are a lot of different ways to translate this Stanza but for me it reflects that only each person knows what he truly desires but there is no sickness worse than desiring and loving that which you cannot have.

I suppose it might be speaking to that old adage about youth being wasted on the young. That once you figure out what you should do with life, you don’t have the energy or the time to obtain it. Maybe.

For me this speaks more to the sadness that can sometimes develop when you finally realize what you want, but there is no way to get it. I have experienced this many times and I have come to realize that in those moments, it is often time to change our desires and focus elsewhere. If there is any wisdom in discovering a desire is unattainable; it is the wisdom that says move on and continue to live life. Something else will come along that is attainable.

If you can’t do that well there is a sickness of soul that will come over you known to me as The Grey and to others as depression. It’s amazing how as we get older depression gets more common and I can’t help but wonder if it is this finally figuring out what life is about and yet not being able to attain it. I hope that whatever you and I desire it is attainable. Such a sickness is more than I have been able to bear at times and I wish it on no one.

I could go with the other interpretation of this passage which says there is nothing worse than to grow old and have nothing to love. I would agree and I feel this is why most people die in a lack of hope. They stop having something to love and without that, there is little motivation to keep on living. It’s why I want to keep a bucket list in front of me forever.

I don’t know. For me personally, it is the truth that no one knows what is on the heart of a man or woman other than that person themselves that is the glaring truth. A person could tell you the whole truth about what they want but the truth is that what they want is actually deeper still. It’s good to remember that the closest council any man keeps is with himself. No person reveals all of what they are and that is a good thing to remember.

Closing Song: Monty Python – The Meaning of Life:

May you unravel the meaning of life and live it fully. May all your desires be attainable.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 2 – Frigg’s Vision (Frigg)

October 20, 2018October 20, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg stood on the porch of her and her husband’s cabin. It wasn’t much, just a few rooms and a central chamber with fireplace. Not that the cold mattered to her or her husband as being immortal, cold was simply a hardship to be endured. The other two rooms were a large bedroom for her and Odin and another bedroom for guests.

She stood puzzled at her thoughts and feelings that morning, a stern look on her milky white face. She brushed back her long golden hair as the small but steady breeze kept pushing it in her face. He ice blue eyes scanning the edge of the woods waiting for her husband’s arrival. She knew he would be bringing someone with him. Someone who was going to change everything. She after all was a practitioner of seidr, the magic of fate. She didn’t use often anymore. Knowing the future of a person and their fate was, as she discovered, an awful burden to bear.

She used both hands to brush down her dress which was white and made of a slightly see through fabric. She wove it herself. Her body was perfectly curved and her proportions would have made any artist long for the chance to paint her. The dress she wore shimmered and on occasion one could see her skin underneath. Perhaps her sister goddess Freya would smile at her lack of modesty in her choice of dress. Freya being the goddess of sex and love was rarely modest about either subject in both action and words. Frigg was the mother goddess and so hearth, home and marriage were her domains. A wife should be modest but she was with her husband alone so modestly was less important.

Frigg however was unconcerned about the opinions of another goddess. Right now her concern was on a vision she had of her husband finding a body on the beach. She could see the body of a man whose fate was one to bring change to the gods. Great Change. She could not as usual see all the details. Only that the man over her husbands shoulders was fated to bring change. What and to what extent she could not say.

In a few moments, two ravens appeared and flew to her. One landed on her forearm. Huginn. He whispered to her and she smiled and nodded. Huginn flew off and joined his brother Muninn. In a few more moments, she saw her husband and the wolves round the bend of the beach and start approaching the house. Odin walked with confidence and assurance of the king of the gods. Her heart always swelled with pride when she saw her husband.

She frowned when she turned her attention to the naked man he was carrying. Odin’s wolves ran ahead and greeted Frigg and she greeted them back. Odin’s stride closed the distance between them.

“Frigg, I have a man who needs your attention.”

“I know, but relax his fate is not to die. Rest your mind, hansom husband. Take him inside to the guest room.”

Odin sniffed a short snort and carried the man inside. His wolves followed him in and the ravens flew through the open doorway. The ravens found their place on the fireplace mantel and the wolves lay by the fire in front of two chairs that faced it.

Odin and Frigg then placed the man under the blankets in the guest bed. Frigg smiled at the man. Older but still fit and….well equipped. Freya her sister would laugh to know her thoughts. Odin smiled at his wife and Frigg actually blushed.

“Looks like I am going to have to get my wife to forget something she saw tonight.”

“Fear not husband, I was only smiling at what Freya would think of our stranger. But still it has been a few days since we…”

Odin laughed and slapped his wife’s backside to which she blushed again and grinned at him.

“Tell me wife, is he the one?”

“Yes, he is fated to bring great change to the gods.”

“Ragnarok?”

“His thread of life ends at the same time your’s does, my love.”

Odin’s smile faded. His vision of his end was the eyes and teeth of Fenrir the great wolf.

“My love, that does not mean he will cause Ragnarok, just that he will be there at the end of the world. I caution you my love, remember we can think we are stopping fate by our actions but in truth we are actually making it sure.”

“I know, Fenrir taught me that.”

She nodded.

“What’s wrong with him, my wife?”

“Nothing, there is magic at work here my husband. I need to open my seeing eye.”

Frigg’s face went blank. Odin waited knowing that she would see a vision of some sort. He hated this part of it though. There was always some fear in his heart that the love of his life would stay in that glazed over state forever. But once again she returned.

She turned to Odin.

“It’s him. The Grey thread, the Grey Wayfarer. That amulet has allowed him to cross the barrier into our world from his.”

Odin grunted. Damn. So change and perhaps Ragnarok after all.

“Well, there is nothing for it my wife but to set him on the path he must walk.”

Frigg frowned, “I know but…”

“Sorry, my wife. I believe at long last our end has come. As you said to fight fate might bring it about and hasten it.”

“Should we tell him when he awakens, my king?”

Odin was taken back. Frigg never called him ‘my king’ anywhere except in court at Valhalla.

“Nothing my queen. It would only bring on the risk of hastening fate as well No, we tell him nothing, equip him and then set him on the path. He must walk it himself and that will bring about the end quick enough.”

Frigg rose to her feet and then walked to her husband and put her arms around his neck. She kissed him deeply and his arms when around her. He pulled her close, and when their kiss broke, she whispered in his ear.

“Take me, my love. Make love to me like it is the end of the world.”

“I shall my love, because it is.”

Odin scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the room and into their bedroom. There they made love as only gods who are finally facing mortality can. After her husband fell asleep, Frigg lay there naked in the darkness for a while but couldn’t sleep. She left the bed and wandered to the guest room where she looked at the man again.

Tears filled her eyes. She didn’t know who to weep for more. The gods who were about to face mortality or the man laying in the bed in front of her. His fate would end with theirs, but the pain he would suffer would be more than most gods could endure. Yes, the gods had good reason for sorrow. But the Grey Wayfarer… may the gods have pity for him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Bucket List

October 19, 2018October 19, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

The Routines are finished and I have my principles and goals written down. This leaves my Bucket List, Weightlifting Plan, Diet and Budgeting plan. The three plans I will deal with next week, but today is the Bucket List.

For me a bucket list is a list of important side quests. It’s what I am doing to enjoy life. I have done one before and there were some raised eyebrows about some of them. The issue for me is not to be the straight arrow I was before as pastor. I don’t wear a white hat nor do I wear a black one. I just want to live my life and wear a grey hat while doing it. The Bucket List is the best reflection of this. It’s not about goals so much as enjoying life as much as possible.

Bucket List

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation. Perhaps as part of one of those River Cruises that go up and down the Danube River. I loved that city but I just didn’t have the time to explore it fully.
Get My Tattoos. I actually have four planned for myself at this point and a joint tattoo which my wife agreed to get with me. 1) Valknut Based Tattoo on my right hand or forearm. 2) Double Ravens on my right shoulder 3) Double wolves on my left shoulder. 4) Broken Celtic Cross in the center of my back. 5) Joint tattoo with my wife. She has agreed to something small but in a noticeable place.
Actually get drunk – I am a big dude and do drink but I have never gotten drunk as far as I can tell. I just don’t know what my limit actually is because I have never arrived there.
Smoke a Joint – this is conditional on my state legalizing MJ in November but I do want to try it once.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This needs to be my first true hiking experience.
Write My Novel – Needs to be done. Not just the National Novel Writing Novel that I did finish but a true novel 90-120 thousand words and submitted for publication.
Learn Latin – I actually have Wheellock on my shelf. The book the workbook and the reader. I just need to discipline myself to do it.
Learn Hungarian – I would like to go to Budapest and speak the language if possible. Yeah that’s two languages.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs. This is really three in one but hey it works. By the way this is for reps in my current routine. So last set at least four reps for each on a 4 x 8 which is the minimum reps on the last set without me dropping back.
Start my own business – This is the eventual goal under my business virtues. I would like a bar with an attached BBQ place. Another option is a bar, coffee shop, bookstore combo.

The rules of course are once one thing is completely done, to cross it off and add something new if I fall below eight things. I plan on dying with a bucket list in hand still with things on it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The Routines are all in place and now the great challenge is to get things done every day. Planning phase over basically, now it’s time to make it happen. The real discipline issue now is school work. It usually isn’t a problem when I find the personal motivation but this is my last semester and I have a large case of last semester drop off. It is something I fight everyday.

One other thing that dogs me is thinking on the past. It can really steal my time and I need to be more proactive on stopping that from happening. It’s hard because I have guilt plus a lot of wounds inflicted to deal with. Not everything has scared over and some sometimes I still bleed a little. But I keep going, I just need to find a way past it all and get on with things. Certain thoughts and dreams make that hard is all.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

A thought struck me when I was meditating on this virtue the other day. It’s not just that you keep getting up, but it’s also how you get up that matters. Sometimes when you get back up it’s not time to take another hit but heal. Strategic withdrawal is sometimes necessary. You can always exercise courage another day. In large part that is what me and my wife have been doing. With drawing after our marriage got knocked down and trying to heal it before we go on. It’s working so far.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

My loyalty to my wife is high. I mean what other level should I have given that after cheating on her and telling her that I didn’t love her anymore but the highest; when despite all that she continued to love me and forgave me? She demonstrated fidelity to me even though I wasn’t being loyal to her. I don’t get it but she is something special and she is loved and respected by me.

My family, my few friends know I will be there for them. I have been at my current job long enough to develop loyalty to my team that works together. It’s nice to have coworkers again. I don’t really have a faith to be loyal to yet. I also am more dedicated to the principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness than I am the current crop of leaders that have played games with those rights all my life. Ultimately, I am loyal to my code and my philosophy. That’s enough for me right now.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Daily Routine

October 15, 2018October 15, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

With my Morning Routine set up, the discussion turns to my Daily Routine. What is the stuff I do every day? Well, probably what I would like to see every day at this point.

Daily Routine:

Blogging – the general target is to have three posts cued up in the scheduled list by day’s end and four others in the draft file in various stages of construction.
Reading – 1 hour per day. Right now this is taken up by school, but eventually I would like this to be free to read what I want.
Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed. This is currently on my list because of school. I think it might stay after school is over because I will be using it for research or for writing things for publication.
Empty In Box – I have a box on my desk that I put stuff in that requires my attention. The goal is to have it empty at the end of every day.
Financial Transaction input – I try to put all financial transactions for me and my wife in my computer each day. It doesn’t take long.
Communication / Cuddle Time – I try to do this with my wife every day for at least a half hour. Sometimes our varied schedules make this difficult. It is actually the number one thing on this list and gets done when there is time.

None of this stuff actually takes very long other than the time limit stuff. My goal is to have it done each day, so every day I am finished with things and making progress. That the administration of life is kept up with every single day is the major goal here.

Mostly this is only problematic on days where I have both work and class. On those days free time is at a premium. Otherwise I have time to do all of it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

At work and school I guess I feel that inner sense of honor to a point. People at both places value my contributions and that is good for my self-esteem in that sense. Most of the challenges to honor come from my dreams and the occasional person I run into who used to greet me warmly but now shuns me. The people who shun me are easy to deal with – 1) check them off as no longer a friend, and 2) move along treating them as someone I used to know. Dreams are a bit harder. My recurring dream is me going about my daily business but with people who I used to know yelling at me. They yell things at me indicating my moral failures and my short comings. The dreams always end with them turning violent and me being the victim of a death-wound by one of them. I usually wake up at that point. If I dwell on this too much my honor level drops a bit.

I am starting to feel more positive about my future. I applied for graduation this last week so that is in the works. I am feeling better about school in general although I do have some more work to do yet to catch up. It’s close now to the end and I think I will be a better position for a better job after graduation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

In my dreams the word ‘coward’ comes out of the mouths of some. I don’t really get that accusation. I simply have responded at times to what people have done to me by talking about it openly. The coward would gossip, slander, back bite and back stab. I don’t do those things. I either tell people what happened from my perspective or I keep silent. I don’t feel I need to respond directly to people who in my estimation were the first ones to act in cowardice toward me. Virtue is a two-way street and if the accusation of being a coward came from someone I consider brave, I would give it thought. As it is, not so much.

I have an evaluation coming up at work. I need to speak on the future with that company. My additional problem is I need an internship. This is going to require some courage to explain to my present employer where I stand with them. If I am not going to have a good and productive future with them, then I need to move on when I can.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty with others is not so great an issue as honesty with myself. I am wrestling with so much these days as far as truth with me that I have a hard time with keeping my foundation stable. These days I prefer silence and peace. If only those voices from my dreams would stop haunting me when I am awake.

I am getting ready to write my last major paper for school – My Political Science Capstone. I am wrestling with the topic and the thesis statement. I have permission to use this for my Health Economics Class as well. I want this paper to reflect what I see as the truth about a health issue. It has to have sound political science basis, economics and if I can get my international business knowledge into it as well – bonus. It’s not just about a paper but a final reflection on what I have learned in this degree and applying it to real life. It’s about pursuing truth as well.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

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