“A ‘Dirty’ Mind”- Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Imagination

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day:

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Discussion:

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I am introducing a new topic subheading called Sexual Imagination.  Basically, how the mind and sex are connected.  I am going to start with a simple concept – having a ‘dirty mind’.  Does this really exist?  Is it normal or bad?

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Back when I was a  Christian, the ‘sin’ I struggled with the most was lust. No getting around it.  I eventually dealt with it by simply being real about it and changing my viewpoints on a lot of things.  It probably had something to do with my deconversion as I began to realize what made sin such a made-up concept was that it involved such impossible tasks as not ‘lusting’

I would now say that humans have developed a high desire to procreate so that the biological needs to be sensually drawn to another person is normal. That does change your definition of what it means to be ‘dirty-minded’.  I mean there is little actual dirt to having sexual thoughts and only religion with its cultic desire to control others through sexuality would try to defy that.

Without Sin:

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Boiling things down to biology helps in taking the dirty out of dirty-minded for yourself.  Without sin what you have is thoughts that cross your brain when you see, hear or feel something that causes you suddenly think and feel sensual.  Not sin, just normal sexual desire.

Well, I should define normal as best I can.  I am not sure having a desire for sex with children is normal or a desire for rape.  It might be normal in the sense scientifically it can be proved statistically normal, but whether or not culture or society or basic decent humanity at times defines a sexual thought as ‘normal’ might be another issue.

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Psychology aside most of us have sensual thoughts that range on the normal side of seeing or hearing something and translating it into a sensual or sex-related situation.  Whether it is seeing a picture that you first think is someone doing something naughty or you hear someone say something and immediately think to yourself some sort of sexually related joke, it is all signs of a healthy but perhaps overactive sensual imagination.

Sensual Imagination:

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I have had all my life and overactive sensual imagination.  This is particularly when someone says something that could be taken into the sexual realm with a minor change in the way of looking at it.  A woman says: “I will leave you to put that thing in there.”  and my mind goes: “That’s what she said.”  Easy as that and sometimes far worse. Ok. many times far worse.  I keep a lot of it to myself but it keeps me entertained where my mind goes these days.  If there is any change, I am no longer mortified by some of the things I think unless they truly cross a line and I think to myself.  “No way you’re telling anyone that one.”

Visually I am probably pretty typically male. I see a nice feature on a female and you bet that leads to some ‘sensually imaginative’ thoughts.  I think I can say, with a lot of high probability, the following 1) If I don’t notice and nice ass, 2) If I don’t notice a nice pair of boobs and/or 3)  If I don’t notice a woman’s curvy figure and such a thing is absent dirty-minded thoughts; then it is time to call the morgue and tell them to send a truck for my body.  I have obviously died and haven’t fallen over yet.

Filters: 

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I do have my filters:

  1. I never say anything dirty in mixed company unless know the people first
  2. Most of the time I never lead with sensually imaginative comments, I wait for others to do so or for it to come out in regular conversation from someone else.
  3. Never around kids, although kids do say some funny things that if you are not careful you could go there.
  4. I double think everything when alone and out of sight with the opposite sex who is not my wife.  My wife, however, has to endure. 🙂
  5. People easily offended?  – Nope, not going to go there with people with a stick up their ass.

Of course, filters don’t always work when the situation is such that the environment just invites sensual thoughts. Some thoughts, however, are Not Safe For Work and so I keep them to myself.

Conclusion:

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Basically, I am saying I don’t fight this anymore, I just try to make sure that it is in good fun and not being hurtful.  Knowing your surroundings and who is around you is a good way to avoid the consequences in our society, which is hypersensitive these days.  Mostly though you are pretty much a normal person in my opinion even if your imagination is overly sensual.  Just be careful out there.

Honestly and seriously though, we are sexual beings as human beings, which means our mind is going to head down that path from time to time.  Some of us just like going down it a lot.  Nothing wrong with it just make sure you have some filters and sometimes remember this is about your own entertainment far more than not.  It makes you walk the path with a few more smiles on your face.

So, how ‘dirty’ is your mind?

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Own Your Role” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Roles

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day:

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Discussion:

Referring to the cartoon above: it should be noted that sticking a man’s wifi antenna into a woman USB port is dangerous in many ways.

Now as a guy with a political science degree, I had to sit in on a lot of classes that involved a discussion of gender roles, patriarchy, women’s issues, equality, etc. I am going to tell you upfront that none of it takes into account hard science like biology and neurology.  The closest I got to that in my studies were two classes – social psychology where the female instructor was honest in demonstrating how men and women are treated differently by society in certain situations and noted that it was not always good for the guy.  This video is pretty interesting and reflects this:

The other class was genetics where the female instructor basically said – the XX and XY chromosome combination makes a world of difference in everything about a person.  Simple genetic truth.  Boys and girls are different and they demonstrate this in everything scientific that science can measure and some differences are evident right from birth.  Another Video, definitely worth a watch as this woman did her homework:

Gender:

When it comes to gender, I am going to say part of it is nature in that we are male and female and part of it is societal expectations. You might say gender is where the hard wiring of our sex meets societal expectations.  It is a mixed bag of our differences as expressed by our sex gets mashed together with society’s expectations. That is why some see it as fluid but others may see it as masculine and feminine having multiple ways to express themselves. I fall on the side of the second option.  I have simply never found a compelling argument that gender was more than male or female and certainly not that it could be fluid.

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In any case, I have noticed that while feminists bitch about equality, I don’t see them encouraging women to become sewer workers, coal miners or any other dirty job.  They want the social construct version to bitch when it comes to the CEO professional office job, but then cling to their own gender’s nature and avoid the dirty nasty jobs that if men stopped doing would dramatically have a negative impact on life. The feminists when it comes to gender as social constructs seem to have a selective compliant switch and seem to prefer their gender over the alternative.

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This is why I stopped supporting them after the third wave of feminism began and became pure egalitarian.  Things are not always right for men and how they are treated in this mix of nature and society and I should not be browbeaten to silence because I point it out.

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In the United States the draft, child custody, men’s mental health. longer sentences for the same crime. and the lack of a support structure with any semblance of equality compared to women in the areas of abuse and health are just the tip of the iceberg. There is simply a lot of issues where one sex or the other is being shafted and you don’t do anything but show your sexism when you want to point out yours at the exclusion of the other side.

Gender Roles: 

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Gender roles and expectations of society are purely social constructs and form in my mind a form of tribalism which I think needs to be regularly challenged.  In my country, this traditional gender role thing started a long time ago and probably saw its height in the 1940s and 1950s. I am glad they have been challenged but interestingly enough some women prefer their traditional role and so do some men.  If this is truly and genuinely their free choice, then they shouldn’t be condemned for it.  The real problem with gender roles is not that they exist, but when they are forced or people are shamed into doing them.

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Once again I come back to the power of liberty.  Of letting people chose for themselves what role they want to play in society as being the only fair way to do things. Society needs to stop imposing and start granting liberty.  No opportunity should be denied, but don’t be surprised when sexual preferences as far as a role are seen in people’s choices.  Don’t yell if a woman freely chooses to forgo a career to have children and raise them so her husband has to go and work to support them.  If it is their free choice, that’s their business. On the flip side if a man decided to be the one to stay home and raise the kids because his wife has a better job, don’t call him a lazy deadbeat either.  Let people define themselves and this includes their role in society and how their sex/gender expresses itself in that role.

Conclusion:

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Probably the best thing we can do is let people own their own role as far as sex and gender and follow our own desires as far as our own.  Own your role, not someone else’s. Take it on as an individual, not as a collective group. In the end, we do want similar things and we need each other to have that happen. But we are not going to get what we want by forcing roles on others or denying the natural propensities of our own sex.  Both are avoiding reality.  What really is needed is just letting each of us be free to pursue what we want.  Liberty is always a better answer than control or dogmatic expectations.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“My Sexual Identity” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Identity

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!!!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Introduction:

I have been writing for about a month on the topic of sex and sexuality and their various issues and the one thing it is high time I do is to write about my own sexual identity.  How do I view myself in regards to my sex and my sexual desires I think will help people understand where I am coming from as far as my own sexual perspective.  A few things up front.

  1. I tend to be very science-oriented about these things.  At least that is where I start.  Much of academia these days listen to the social sciences on these issues but I know as someone who has a social sciences degree in political science that much of what is believed there is indeed political posturing and belief, not actual science. For me, genetics and clinical psychology count a lot; and so, if an opinion does not line up with those, it is probably destined for the scrap heap. I live in the real world using real-world observations, not fanciful fantasy.
  2. That said, part of this is my opinion about said evidence.  Sex and sexuality have fuzzy edges because human beings are not black and white when it comes to these issues.
  3. I am a strong proponent of freedom of choice and liberty regarding these issues.

So I would boil my own sexual identity and orientation down to the following words which I will explain in more depth below: masculine, heterosexual. gynephilic, and egalitarian.

Masculine:

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I have a penis, so I am male.  I also like being a man and masculine.  I have no shame of any of this and anyone who says I am toxic, even in part, because of my masculinity can bite me, fuck off, etc. I find such statements ironic because they are sexist but trying to address sexism.  So no apologies for being a man and acting in masculine manners.

I suppose being INFJ, my intuitive empathic side is a little feminine but it most definitely expresses itself in the form of masculine reason and logic. I fight to survive and thrive in life.  I am protective of my own. I seek to be strong for those I love. I am loyal to family and principles I hold dear. I seek rational action.  I can be patient with some things, but in the end, something has to be done and the man in me rises up to do it.  I strive for peace but prepare for war.  I am aggressive but strive to tailor that to the situation.

Heterosexual:

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I have actually taken tests in this regard and have a few personal experiences in life and have found I don’t really have any attraction to men sexually speaking at all. I don’t trust the motives of most men for one and I don’t like how they always see the big guy and need to posture and thump their chests trying for dominance over me.  Sorry there dude, – alpha male here.  Save your insecurities for someone who wants to respond to them.

Sexual orientation wise I like girls and don’t like guys.  I was kissed once by a homosexual man, and while I won’t say this is wrong morally, I found it personally distasteful.  Not my thing. The tests I have taken on this issue say I am 90% to 95% heterosexual. Sorry gentlemen I like ladies. In fact, I love women.

Gynephilic:

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While I have loved a few women very strongly in my life, I would have to say that I have been gynephilic since I hit puberty which for me happened early at about ten.  I love women in general and have ever since.  I am attracted to and admire femininity greatly.  It has gotten me in trouble so many times, but you know I don’t care.  It’s an addiction I will gladly keep because there is a lot of joy in it for me personally.

I love how women think, look, smell and act.  I like the way they walk and talk.  There is still something magical for me about the feminine and if that magic ever goes away, it is probably time for the dirt nap. I have no particular preferences either.  I can usually find the beautiful side of any woman who accepts their femininity in some way.

That’s probably the only turn off for me personally –  when a woman denies their femininity. Note I didn’t say tries to act like a man but denies who they really are.  You can act like a man and I still can know you are a woman because you do it without denying you are a woman.

I love women and it will probably be the death of me, but I will go with a smile on my face.

Egalitarian:

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I love women to the point I have no desire to dominate them or be dominated by them.  I want to stands as equals with them and I have always loved those moments where I and any woman have worked together; and because it was a woman/man partnership, it seemed actually to work much better than otherwise.

I have come to see through these moments how much better life is when we work together with our male and female strengths coming together to cover our weaknesses as human beings. We need each other and I find the constant bickering and rivalry troubling. While we should be fighting side by side against the chaotic forces of this world, this sexual rivalry, however, seems to rob us of what we could achieve.  Our survival and prosperity depend on us working with each other.

Conclusion:

I suppose as with all things INFJ, I am being idealistic here.  But someone has to do it. It is probably this sexual identity that keeps me looking for the perfect relationship which does not and probably cannot exist for me.  It is this idealism that explains why I go over the edge when I am in love.  But when I look at issues like sex, sexuality and the issues that are related, I must admit I see them through the filter of my own sexual identity.  So what you see written in Freya’s Chambers should be read in that light.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Polyamory” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Orientation

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Discussion:

Polyamory is an interesting topic because it calls into question the need for societal mores in relationship to romance and sex. I have looked at the subjects of polygamy in the Bible and other related issues and came to the conclusion that from a Biblical point of view as long as everyone was in a marriage relationship and there was no homosexual activity, the Bible allowed for it. But now that I would say the Bible is out and I am looking for a more rational viewpoint of romance and relationships in sexual content.  Along these lines there are only three considerations: 1) Is is consensual, 2) have reasonable precautions been implemented, 3) Are the people involved emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle the relationship.  See the source image

Polyamory is pretty much about the consensual sex and romance with multiple partners.  Unlike many relationships that are multi individual in nature, this is out in the open and everyone agrees to it.  There is no ignorance and no one is being forced to be a part of it and no one is being placed in a position where they have to hide anything. It is really the way freedom should be in that there are no restrictions and no secrets. Polyamory passes the first test as that is the point of it – multiple consensual relationships without secrets.

The second issue is that of reasonable precautions being taken.  The two main issues are STDs and pregnancy.  In reading a majority of practitioners of polyamorous relationships the STD question is part of the reason they desire openness as far as no secrets and this means everyone gets to talk about it and when someone new is brought in they have a lot of questions and those in such relationship tend to stay in a prescribed circle because it is more than just them they are protecting.  In any case, the whole point is to establish a boundary and stay within it even though the relationship is polyamorous.  Letting someone in that boundary is a group decision and that’s a pretty effective protection against STDs.

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In the case of pregnancy what you read is pretty much either the whole group takes responsibility for the children if they happen or everyone agrees it is group decision as well to open up the possibility if one of the girls wants to get pregnant.  Until then the girl needs to be responsible for her own reproductive system and quite frankly in the modern western world, there is really no excuse for an unwanted pregnancy anymore.  There really isn’t and that means the statement “My body; my choice” comes with the counter – “Your choice, your responsibility.”  In any case, from the standpoint of polyamory, this is another group discussion.

If you are starting to get the idea that communication has to be very high in these kinds o relaitonships I would say ‘correct’.  It shows people in such relationships have to meet the final criteria of being emotionally mature enough to handle the fact that you are loved by many and love many.  Jealousy, control, and envy can’t really be present. You have to be happy when you are being loved by someone and when they love someone else. You have to love the love you receive and get and are also loving enough to let others love each other.

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More directly, you have to be Ok with the fact that the guy or gall you had sex with that night could be having sex with someone else in the relationship that morning.  While you could make love to another person that same morning. The sexual options are one of the main reasons that people get in these relationships and most of the polyamorous writers I have read don’t believe that humans are naturally monogamous.  That reality accepted they simply are being honest in the relationship they have entered.

I put this under sexual orientation for the simple reason that is it possible that some people are sexually oriented to be open lovers?  To be people who can love many people and make love to many people without being possessive or close-minded or even manipulative?  Is it possible that one sexual orientation is a ‘natural lover’?  I have to think it is possible and I can’t see any reason to think evil of such people because of it.

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I guess the honesty of this type of relationship is a step up by quite a bit from the sneaking around and cheating that is also polyamorous but no one but the cheater is aware of it. That is far more dangerous and disastrous than a group of people who say ‘let’s just set all the secrecy aside and be open about the fact all of us love more than one person here’.  It is the consent and agreement to the simple idea that some people are romantically and sexually capable of loving more than one person at once, and that is entirely OK and you don’t have to stop doing it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Qualities of Spiritual Nudity” – Freya’s Chambers – Nudism

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given this week’s topic be prepared for nude images of people engaged in spiritual and other activities.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

On May 17th, 2013 I started a series on my old blog All Things Rabyd called Naked Before God with the post; The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness. Back then I was still a devout Christian that was struggling with the simple fact that while Christianity basically had strongly connected nudity. sex and sexuality: the Bible had not.  If anything the most positive time in humanity’s existence in the story of the Bible is when Adam and Eve are in the Garden – naked and unashamed.

That series was about the spiritual side of being naked before God and how nudism could be considered a Christian spiritual discipline or at least a metaphor of how one could picture oneself before God and develop a sense of enlightenment about that relationship. That was over six years ago and a lot has changed but the main principles of spiritual nudity I think are still solid and deserve a second look.

I listed six positive spiritual qualities that nudity possesses: 1)  Vulnerability, 2) Openness, 3) Intimacy, 4) Genuineness, 5) Wholeness and 6) Equality.  I would say that all of these are still valid but need to be rethought without all the ‘how do I draw the line and avoid sin?” question. For me, this question no longer even exists so I want to see how things change from what I felt and thought then to what I feel and think now.

What follows will be excerpts from that old post with commentary and changes to reflect new attitudes:

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Vulnerability: 

“While it could be argued that vulnerability is a weakness and at times it is, there is a positive side to it.  In the Garden of Eden we see this in Adam and Eve as they are completely vulnerable to God’s presence, each other and the world around them.  Because of this, they have to develop interdependency with each other and God.  In all person to person relationships, vulnerability is the key to opening up intimacy and ultimately love.  To love someone, you must make yourself vulnerable to them and take risks that they will take advantage of this vulnerability, but when vulnerability is rewarded with returned vulnerability from the other person intimacy and love grows”. – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness – May 17, 2013

I suppose the easiest way to edit this would be to remove all the lines about the garden of Eden and leave the rest because I think it still is a positive quality at times. I think one could experience the vulnerability to other people and the world around them and just drop the divine parts unless that is part of your spiritual goal of being naked.  I know that for myself this is a longing of my heart but I have experienced vulnerability being naked with my wife. There is something about that that opens the door to intimacy.

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Openness:

‘It is really hard to be closed off to people when you are naked.  …  Reading the testimonies of practicing nudists, particularly people who are sharing their first time is interesting in this spiritual aspect of nudity.  Even naked, they try to cover themselves up and present themselves in ways where their perceived ‘bad features’ are less noticeable.  In the end, they give this up and just allow themselves to be themselves…. –  The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness – May 17, 2013

As you can imagine this one is pretty edited down and much simpler without the God of the Bible involved.  It suddenly switches the spiritual focus from the divine to humanity and being open to our fellow human beings. This a shift that actually gives this author a cause for pause, because the question becomes is openness truly possible without being naked in front of someone else?  I can do this with my wife but that is it, so the spiritual aspect of openness is left to that relationship. This is simply a spiritual quality that you are either open to others around you or if you are more spiritually minded – the universe. This brings up a limitation that depends on one’s willingness to be naked in front of others.

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Intimacy:

Clothing prevents intimacy and in our world, this is often by design.  I am not going to say this is bad in certain contexts. Clothing is a barrier that is used to prevent people from knowing things about you.  Intimacy ultimately results from people discarding barriers and defenses.  In personal relationships, you don’t necessarily have to shed your physical clothes to be close to someone but you do have to let your guards down and let people know things about yourself that are sometimes uncomfortable and awkward.  In a real way, intimacy is achieved when you allow others to see that you too are human and you also allow them to show their humanness to you without judging them in return.  – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness – May 17, 2013

I would still say that clothing is a barrier to intimacy in certain contexts.  Sometimes this is about security but also it can be about insecurity.  We all guard ourselves and cover-up both literally and figuratively.  Intimacy is just not possible without the shedding of all the barriers and one of them can be clothing. Learning to drop barriers and not judge when they do the same are the two key factors in building intimacy.

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Genuineness:

‘Hard to be false and deceptive about anything when you’re naked.  Everybody sees the truth about what you are.  This is particularly true with yourself.’ – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness – May 17, 2013

I guess this still applies to spiritual things as well but I find that this is accomplished far more by looking into your own eyes. The principle is still true that when anyone is naked they are who they genuinely are. In my own life, this has become reflected in my morning routine of getting up and meditating in the nude which means I start with who I genuinely am and work the rest of the day from that point.  Being honest with myself looking in a mirror has been both a great motivator for health and fitness.  In any case, when naked every flaw, scar and what does not measure up to normal society is visible.  What can be changed for the better is obvious but also that which one cannot do anything about should be accepted.  Often what we think are flaws are simply things that make us unique.  This can be particularly obvious when standing in front of a mirror naked and honestly assessing ourselves.

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Wholeness: 

‘It is very difficult to see yourself compartmentalized when you are naked.  You actually see everything that you really are.  Clothing is used to define ourselves but in very limited senses.  We dress in work clothes to define our work.  We dress in athletic clothes to go work out.  We dress in casual clothes to relax.  We dress in sexy clothes to be romantic and make love.  We dress in formal clothes to impress people with who we are.  In a very real way, clothing is used to compartmentalize our life.  When you are naked all that is gone and the reality of ALL that you truly are is there: body, soul, and spirit in one package and there is no compartmentalization at all.  We simply and truly are what we are.’ – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness – May 17, 2013

I would still stand behind the above statement.  Clothing seems to be about changing roles and gives only one facet of who we are at a time.  Take that away and you are what you are completely.  You are whole and not compartmentalized in that state.

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Equality:

‘It is very difficult to see yourself as better or worse than someone when you’re naked.  Want to make everyone socially, economically and culturally equal? Take off their clothes.  The housewife, businesswoman, prostitute, and debutant suddenly just become women when you strip them of clothes, makeup and jewelry and make them stand in a lineup.  Without their clothes, you can only define them by their bodies, personality, and actions and none of that necessarily reveals economic, social or cultural status.  Nakedness forces us to realize that we all came into this world naked and we all will leave it naked.  That is the great equalizer.’ – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness – May 17, 2013

I still stand by what I said to here and I don’t want to give the impression that I am singling out women because the same is true for men and perhaps a little more visible. To most women, a man in a suit with an expensive watch is going to get a lot more attention if he is single than the guy in a t-shirt and jeans. Take their clothes off and then the factors of attraction change radically. The equality of removing fashion from the equation I think could be and perhaps has been scientifically demonstrated.

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A Word of Warning:

Now, this all said, there is a reality of the world we live in that cannot seem to grasp the concept that nudity doesn’t necessarily mean a person is being amorous or an expression of sexuality.  We live in a world where culture can be very sanctimonious and self-righteous and those that practice spiritual nudism are well-advised to take that into consideration. For myself, I practice privately and when alone. The whole goal for me is not to have people see me. Forcing your nudity on others might not be wise.  Fighting for equal treatment like the topfreedom movement does is one thing.  Shoving your nudity in the face of people you know would be offended is another.   The issue is to make these experiences, if they have a spiritual side to them, positive and not negative.

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Issues:

I think most of the issues involving spiritual nudity and if you want this as part of your life both practically and spiritually are solved with using reason and wisdom.  This is definitely one of those needs or wants that you should listen to the ravens first before letting the wolves be feed.  There are definitely spiritual and personal benefits and perhaps even social ones. The issue is ‘indecent exposure’ is a real legal charge and there are simply safety measures that you can and should engage.  I think privacy and perhaps going to a place where nudity is known to be accepted are probably the best options.

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Personal Thoughts:

I am agnostic about most things.  I lean toward thinking deism might be an option but at the same time I have no active belief in anything divine, so on a practical level, I am an atheist.  I believe in spirituality as practicing meditation to calm my mind and focus my day.  I believe in the power of symbols to help conceptualize things such as virtue and principles. If spirituality is about virtue and relationships then I guess in that sense I am very spiritual.  My following of Asatru is more about the virtues and recovering the lost pagan heritage of my ancestors.

Nudism has a lot more to due with me just being truly who I am.  Being a whole person who accepts who they genuinely are without all the trappings. It’s about being honest with myself about what I can improve and what is simply what makes me unique.

The other aspects of nudism from a spiritual point of view are incomplete for me.  They are high in these regards when it comes to my wife, but other aspects of them are incomplete because of my lack of any kind of experience of communal nudity. Well, other than the locker room when I was an athlete. I don’t know if this would be so revelatory as to change my views on spirituality or not, but until I experience it I will never know. In the meantime, I stick with what I know and can experience.  One of the things I know is that nudity has other qualities besides the physical and those can be very positive.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Divine Masculine and Feminine” – Freya’s Chambers – Male-Female Balance

Happy Frigg And Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.

I am fairly new to this and perhaps this is a topic for Odin’s Eye but the sex role and sexually infuse magical concepts are very much what Freya’s Chambers is meant to address.  The pagan concept of the divine masculine and feminine hits pretty much every form of paganism in some form or another.  There are some that focus on one or the other, but usually, they have both.  The idea of masculine and feminine not just being genders but spiritual forces are quite common.

In most mythological pantheons there is a duality of gender when it comes to the simple fact that most gods and goddesses are paired.  There are a husband and a wife and often there is an understanding of the feminine and masculine roles in the divine realms that are conveyed in those pairings.  One of the most common is that rain, thunder, and lightning is often a masculine god, like Thor or Zeus.  The feminine is earth, harvest and giving life, like Sif and Hera. When I was in seminary one of the pairings and mythologies we looked at basically held that the earth was the womb and that rain was semen.

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In this idea, there is the notion that certain forces of life are masculine based and others are feminine.   That some forces in life contain masculine energy and others feminine.  Also with this is the idea that these two forces need to be kept in balance as much as possible. That when things get out of balance things can go horribly wrong to being just off and not working.

In our modern world, the issues of gender identity, gender roles, etc. seem to defy these views in some respects. Gender identity has become a bugaboo because according to someone can simply choose one’s gender by a decision.  Gender Roles are often questioned and rightly so because in many cases in society one sex’s roles are often put as superior to another.

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In ancient paganism and mythologies, there is little gender-neutral or gender fluid.  Odin is a man, Frigg a woman.  That doesn’t mean that Odin doesn’t do some things that even in Viking society would be considered feminine – like his ability to use divination magic which is a role that was almost exclusively female. But Freya embraces the masculine when she dons her armor and flies with the valkyrie.  That said, for the most part, Odin and Freya stick with their sex when it comes to what they express spiritually and their role in society.

It should be said that those that believe in the divine masculine and feminine try to remove the negative stereotypes:   Men are aggressive and women passive is a common spiritual theme but that doesn’t mean men are strong and women weak.  Aggressiveness and passivity each have their own strengths and weaknesses so each is required to complement and harmonize with the other.  They need each other.

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My personal view is presented in the simple idea of male-female balance:

  1. I think self-fulfillment is found first in accepting all you are including if you are male or female. Trying to be something you are not is self-defeating and indicates self-hatred which is not helpful.  So no, I don’t think being gender-neutral or fluid is a good thing or even based in reality.  The genders are not evil but evil can result if they are not balanced. A good way for them to become unbalanced is to deny their existence or ignore them.
  2. It stands to reason that if spirituality exists men and women would have a spirituality that is different from one another.  If we are different physically, emotionally, mentally based on our gender. Then it only stands to reason that we would also be spiritually different based on it as well.
  3. I believe that men are strongly masculine but need a touch of the feminine and visa versa.  I think the yin and yang symbols are the best representation of this and the need for balance.  The dot of the opposite color in each keeps us from the more negative qualities of our gender.

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I personally have had to adjust a few understandings to come to these conclusions.  One of the great failures of the Abrahamic religions is their failure to lose the patriarchal notion that man is the head of the woman.  That masculine dominates feminine is a central theme to all of them. In the end, this leads to women being everything from property to submissive servants to men.  I am pretty much sure this a great ploy to keep dominance now.  Religion is used to justify men controlling the destiny of women which I would no consider unbalanced and thus doomed to fail. No matter how pleasantly this is put, it is ultimately about the domination of masculine over the feminine.

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In my personal life this is challenging in my marriage as my wife still, through long experience, habit, and practice, seeks my authority over her. The problem is I don’t look at it this way and tell her to make up her own mind a lot. This can be frustrating for both of us. I am looking for an equal partner who makes decisions together with me now.  She still looks for me to make those decisions alone and she just goes along with them.  I was never a domineering Christian husband, but the teachings of the church in multiple contexts over the decades have created this version of masculinity and femininity that I no longer hold, but she does.  This represents a great difference in our values and does cause strain in our marriage.

Away from marriage, I have accepted my masculine spiritual side as pretty strong.  I also like the feminine and I am attracted to it. I need it as I do not generate a lot of feminine energy within myself.  This could lead to a lot of imbalance, but that is why I probably get along better with the women in my life than men. Their influence keeps me balanced.

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This is my initial view at present.  I may change it with time as I meditate on it more and refine it.  I do know that this belief in balance is what caused me to gravitate to Asatru rather than Wicca.  I found most, not all, practitioners of Wicca to be very ‘The Goddess’ oriented like masculine forces were bad or inferior.  Men were only a consort to the feminine, not presented as equal.  If patriarchy is bad; I am going to say matriarchy is equally so.  Neither is balanced.

Asatru doesn’t do this but reminds people of the need for both men and women and that both are important. Both the masculine and feminine are equally valued and have their role in society, life, family and sexuality. Neither is a social construct, but spiritual forces created by men and women being men and women. We may be different, but we are both needed and partf o that is to recognize the need for balance between the male and female.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

“A Fireplace, A Sauna, and A Skinnydip” – Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 13

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal August 27th, 2019

It’s been a week of hiding out and I think we are all going a little stir crazy. It’s late summer so we don’t have to deal with cabin fever at least.  Yet. The three of us put on more passible civilian clothes to go to town.  Amber in jean shorts and a tank top is something to see.  Unusual to not see her in that red dress.  The town trip was uneventful as the only person who actually saw us was the keeper of the small grocery store.  We bought some fresh milk and meat and some other stuff. I dropped off a magical letter in the post office.  It would only reach my daughter if I died.  Until then it was pretty much unnoticeable.

The cabin looks ordinary enough but Lunette informed me that it had some magical features.  The lights were candles and oil lamps that went on and off with the wave of a hand near them.  The fireplace required no wood but in true fairy-fashion burned magic. It might be late summer but the cabin is shielded buy tall think trees and this is the Upper Penisula or what we Michiganders call ‘true up-north’.  It was starting to get cold at night. So the fireplace was a welcome addition in the evening as the three of us would gather on the couch and talk and watch the flames.

The icebox was also magical.  There was no electric line to the place so it all was magic.  The consequence was no internet or television.  My phone sat inert and its battery quite dead at the bottom of my pack now. Better that way, no way to trace me using it.

The same was true for the sauna by the lake as it was powered by magical rocks that you threw water on to get steam, which did have to be dipped from the lake in a bucket.  There was one of those metal portable tubs hanging from the wall that we had been taking turns in getting a bath.  Well, the girls have as I can’t really fit in it, so I fill it and then sponge bath myself standing in it (with Lunette helping scrub my back) and then pour the bucket of water over my head to rinse off.  Up until three days ago, the pattern was me and Lunette going down and helping each other bathe and sauna together. Then I come up to the cabin and Amber goes down and Lunette helps her. They usually come back together, often after an hour or so.

Three nights ago it was however particularly hot for a lot of reasons.  One was the night temperature didn’t drop much and it was still late summer heat even at night.  So the whole sauna bath thing was even hotter and I was literally sweating bullet-sized drops.  Lunette being a pixie is less affected by changes in temperature but even she was feeling it I could tell.

“Let’s cool off in the lake. Skinnydip time.”

It kind of brought back memories at my uncle’s cabin when all us cousins would get in the sauna and then do skinny dip time to cool off. We were all little kids so the whole girl boy thing hadn’t really dawned on us yet.

So I saw her get up and followed her perfect naked backside out into the lake and jumped out into it with her.  Soon we were waist-deep. The lake wasn’t dirty at all, in fact, I remarked how clear it was to Lunette and she said her family owned the whole thing.  They called it Mysterious Clear Lake.  But in truth, you will not see it on the map.  Her family had used their abilities of illusion and suggestion to basically make it disappear.  So you could see the sand even in deep water below you and when it was calm it was like a mirror. Tonight the moon was shinning out on it and it was wonderful.  I took Lunette in my arms after splashing each other for a bit.  I kissed her.  After a few seconds though we were interrupted.  It was Amber clearing her throat.

“You two mind if I join you?”

Before I could speak, Lunette said no we didn’t.

“Oh, thanks.  It’s pretty hot in the cabin.”

I was about to speak when Lunette pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

“It’s OK.  Were all adults here and I would like to know where she stands with you. Her being naked means she doesn’t have anything up her sleeve.  Gods Ed, I am still a pixie about this, I don’t own your sexuality.”

I nodded, but my eyes had not left Amber.  She kicked offer sandals and pulled her tank top up over her head.  She undid her bra and dropped it into a pile with her shirt and sandals.  She then unbuttoned her shorts and in one motion dropped them and her panties down to her ankles and then stepped out.  Looking at the front of her, I now knew she was truly a redhead.

‘There, fully disrobed, well except for my tattoo.”

I didn’t have to ask as she turned around and showed us.  Well me, because Lunette had probably seen it before.  It was a tramp stamp but it was flames of red, orange and yellow all mixed beautifully together.  The flames actually moved a bit like they were real.

“Is it magical?”, I asked.

“Oh, yes.  It augments my flame powers.”

Then bold a brass she strode down into the water up to her waist as well.

” I got it from an alchemist tattoo artist who specializes in that sort of thing.”

“Is that common.  I have been thinking about that as well.”

“Yes.  There are quite a few now that tattoos are less taboo with mundanes.  It has the advantage of being a talisman that can’t be removed.  You are pretty powerful already. I am not sure what a tattoo augment would do to your powers.”

I caught myself staring at Amber and then turned to Lunette who was smiling a wry smile.  She leaned over again and whispered.

“You know I think you are part nymph yourself. You need to focus and find out where her loyalties lie.  She is no longer your bodyguard now, so why is she with us still?”

I nodded.

“You know Amber, you don’t have to stay with me anymore.  You are not under orders to guard me anymore?”

“I know.  I could just join the underground and fight, but I feel in a way my place is still with you.  You have a tendency to draw trouble and end up in awkward and tense situations.”

“Yeah, like skinny dipping with two beautiful women.”

This time both women laughed.

I sighed and looked back and forth between the two of them they were both alternating between looking at me and each other.  Then it hit me.

“You girls are up to something. I have been set up haven’t I?”

“I told you, Amber.  He is pretty quick on the uptake when it is staring right at him.”

Amber shrugged then spoke.

“Ed, I have been your bodyguard now for some time.  I have come to care about you in that time like no one else except maybe Lunette.  Things have changed, you are right but something has been building for a while now inside me toward the both of you.  I can only describe it as affection, maybe the beginnings of love. I know my place is with both of you.”

“Ok, this is truly awkward and tense.  Are you saying you love both of us?”, I asked.

“Yes.  I have already expressed this to Lunette.  As a Pixie, I knew she would understand but we both worried about you.”

“Yeah, how you would react, Edward.  I know you just finished mourning your wife nad our relationship is still new.  You have a hard time with this heart stuff, I know. But Amber is still with us because she loves us.  No other reason than she is in love with both of us and doesn’t know any way to express it other than protect us.”

I sighed, “Well, leave it to the women in my life to complicate things. I don’t even know what to think right now. I really am a little more fae in my understandings of these issues now, but it is still all very new to me.”

Lunette spoke, “Edward, we thought about that too.  We don’t want you to rush things.  I know you wouldn’t have that type of relationship or sex with any woman you didn’t have some feeling of love for and my guess is that; true to you; the relationship between you and her has, up until now, been a professional one. She and I want that to change.”

“You both do?”

Lunette sighed, “Yes.  We have been talking.  Edward when you got back with me you said you understood what I was and what that might entail in our relationship.  I am a fae and sexual fidelity is not in the cards and you said that was OK.  That it didn’t affect our loyalty to each other because you knew how I am. Well, you should know that I find it as easy to cuddle up to a girl as a boy. I’m bisexual. Amber and I have…”

“Been getting cuddly.  I see. Ok. I am good with that.  I said I would be and so there it is.  But I am not sure about me and Amber.”

“We know Edward.  That’s why Amber and I felt you should be told this way and then gradually be brought into it. For starters, we want to stop the separate bathing times and bathe and sauna together.  Skinnydip too. It would just be good if we can dress, undress and be naked in each other’s presence without inhibition.  The cabin is just too small for any real privacy anyway. It will lead to more conversation and emotional intimacy if nothing else. There is also a practical concern.”

“Yeah, I know.  When we bathe and sauna separately the one person alone is vulnerable.  We should try to be together as much as possible. Ok. I will go along with this.  I guess we will see how it goes.”

For the last three days, we have been doing the fireplace, sauna and skinnydipping together.  Amber is a redhead and fire mage, but definitely, not a hothead and her passion I can feel is that quiet kind.  I can see her and Lunette sleeping right now from the table where I am writing this journal out by hand. I slept alone last night and let them have a night together. They are both beautiful women both outside and in. While I am still not completely sure about this, I am willing to stay open-minded. After all, life may be very short for us and we need to enjoy as much as we can while it lasts.

Author’s Notes: 

I suppose I have to say that any similarities to the characters and events in this story are purely coincidental with the exception of yours truly. I have to say that because for some reason during The Hedge Wizard of Redburg some people actually thought I was relaying all true stories.  Most of the time I was not.   

When I write fiction of any type I like to push social mores. Hell. I like to slap them in the face, knock them on their ass, and then kick them when their down. The context of this story is that we have a male wizard, a female wizard, and a female pixie.  The two mages already push the social boundaries of this imaginary world by being mages.  A little nudism and sex outside the lines are not going to phase them.  Especially since I have established in past canon (now deleted) that nudity and sometimes sex is necessary for some magic to even work or take place.

Lunette is even further off the chain when it regards sexuality and nudity.  As a fae, she is immune to disease including STDs.  In addition, she cannot get pregnant except with another fae and only if she wishes it. I ask you what kind of social mores about sex would you expect if this was the case in fae society?  None – pretty much other than perhaps incest being taboo, maybe not even that given the fae are also not subject to genetic disease either. The faerie spends more time naked than clothed when among their own kind as well. Needless to say, each faerie and pixie has probably seen a lions share of boobs, asses, and penises regardless of their own sex. Nudity does not phase them. 

In this story, Edward is hunted, a widower and pretty much looks at sex and nudity like a fae, with reasonable precautions relating to human beings.  He can get another female human pregnant without protection and STDs are real things.  But not with Lunette and Amber has a few magical tricks up her sleeve (when she is wearing clothes) regarding her own feminine issues. Edward is very well aware at this time every day could be his last so yeah, he is looking for any bright spot in that situation.    

I am simply extrapolating what would happen in this context given all the above. There is no reality here and I am not relating any real event that happened in my life at all. In real life, I am married and have been (since my wife and I’s reconciliation) faithful to her.  I want that understood before the gossip hounds go off relating this story to everyone.

Yes, I know from my stats on both my Facebook page and here that traffic indicates some people from my former congregation probably still check me out. Oddly enough, I never lost a follower on my author Facebook page last year, but I did lose a lot of facebook friends on my personal page.  Some of you are waiting to run off and tell my wife some story so you can be ‘right’ about me and warn her what an awful person I am.  I am going to say this with all the love in my heart I can muster for you – Go fuck yourself.   

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Topfreedom Movement” – Freya’s Chambers – Equality

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given this week’s topic be prepared for images of topless females. 

Introduction:

I have to say that since the first time I wrote on the topfreedom movement in the United States, they have made quite a bit of progress.  I originally examined them in my Christian blog many years ago.  Mostly the issue back then was legal.  But the real trick of any social movement is to address all concerns including cultural, social and political.  If you are not aware, the topfreedom movement is basically pressing for equal rights of women to appear topless wherever a man can appear topless.  Basically asserting that the different laws for the treatment of men and women’s chests are sexist and violates equal protection under the law.  The issue for them is equal rights under the law.

I was supportive of the topfreedom movement back then even as a Christian because unlike many other Christians I actually realized that the constitution is the law of the land, not the Bible, and even with the Bible, there is no, I repeat no, statement or even indirect reference in the Bible that says a woman exposing her breasts is a sin. From my point of view then, a Christian woman who decided it was too damn hot and took off both bra and shirt and mowed the lawn was not a sinner, she was just being practical.

But what about now without Bible as some sort of appeal to authority and being you basic deistic humanistic pagan, where do I stand on this issue now? Without the whole sin question to consider, then the issue becomes very practical and about equality.      

Discussion:

From a cultural/social point of view, this is going to be a long fight but I stand with these ladies for a lot of reasons.  Most notably to me is a simple fact that socially I feel that these ‘modesty’ constraints are kept mostly to allow the unattractive, the insecure and religious women of the world to have an advantage over those women who are attractive, secure and non-religious.  I see it every time I go to the beach and some attractive woman is wearing a very revealing swimsuit.  All the other women are judging and criticizing because they are not secure in themselves or have a positive body image about themselves. I love it when a woman asks her significant other, who is watching said attractive female, what he thinks and he says: “whatever you think dear.”  This is far more about pecking order among females than anything else. To aid them in this quest for dominance, some women turn to religious moral codes and such to force their way into the law and on other women.

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My libertarianism kicks in as well to support these women.  If an action is not about force to harm, the threat of force or fraud there is no violation of the Non-Aggression Principle and if there is no victim you can point to and say who was harmed – there is no crime. Can someone tell me who is hurt by a woman walking down the street on a hot day topless?  As far as I can tell the only thing that is harmed is people’s opinions, feelings and sensibilities and none of those things count as far as the NAP violation or a crime.

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This leads me to the legal issues that how is exposing female nipples a crime and the exposing of male nipples is not a crime?  Note that most laws talk about nipple exposure and not the actual breast itself. I have found this an interesting part of the law as the nipples on men and women are essentially the same.  It is the mammary glands that lead to the mound of the flesh a women’s nipples are on that is the difference between the chests.  However, in most places, if the woman were to put tape over her nipples then she is perfectly legal as she would not actually violate the wording of the law.

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But I started this post out with the pagan and spiritual side of this and from that standpoint, I would have to say there is something liberating and freeing to the spirit when one frees themselves from the spirit of being a moral busybody and judge of other people.  There can be no greater judgemental attitude that the one where you impose what you think is modest on another because modesty is a spiritual quality of heart and mind, not one of the dress or undress.

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The other spiritual quality is the appreciation of beauty and in particular the beauty of the human body.  I find a lot of religious believers in God will talk about the beauty of creation and then spend a vast majority of their time trying to cover up one of its most beautiful parts: the human body, both male and female.  In this appreciation of beauty, I have also started to discover something about my attitude about women and their appearance.  I have found a greater understanding that sexual desire and nudity are not always connected. Put simply just because a woman is topless it doesn’t mean she is thinking about or asking for sex anymore than a man who is topless is doing so. Personally, I have learned that real modesty is letting other people be free and if a woman wants to freely walk down the street with her breasts bare, that is her business and I should respect that and not look at it as an invitation for a sexual encounter.

Conclusion:See the source image

When I first was made aware of the topfreedom movement, only one state of our fifty had changed its laws to reflect and equal treatment of men and women regarding toplessness.  Since then there are now 35 states that have followed suit realizing that legally there can be no distinction between a man and a woman’s chest. 

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The challenge now is in these states many local governments have reacted with their own ordinances and so what the topfreedom movement focuses on there is trying to get the one legal case in that state that will bring the locals government to heel with state law. There is currently one woman bringing legal action against the city of Chicago before the Supreme Court of the United States.  That might be the legal silver bullet that brings about the remaining states and locals to realizing they can either lose money in a lawsuit every time or just let women be topless.

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The real problem, of course, is that the long term will require society some time to change. Cultural norms change slowly but inevitably.  Like when women were first allowed to show their legs and more cleavage, it takes some time for it to be more normal to everyone in a society. I see change coming for American society regarding this issue and the majority of pushback will come from women and the religious.  In time, even they will have to submit to the inevitable. Sure men will probably at first avert their eyes, but eventually, they won’t think of bare breasts, as usual, any more than bare legs. Time will tell.

Thoughts?

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Freya’s Chambers: Introduction and Opening Thoughts” – Freya’s Chambers

Happy Mani’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.

Opening Remarks: 

In today’s modern world, sexuality is a difficult topic, to say the least.  The issue of gender and identity ignites more heat than light and I am not sure that today I am going to help with that.  That’s not the point for me in this post anyway, but more to get a grasp on my own thoughts on the subject by introducing a running discussion. I also want to introduce to you a new topic area which, in keeping with the Norse theme of the blog, I have titled simply “Freya’s Chambers”. Freya is the Norse goddess of war, love, sex, and fertility. It will have its own page and will appear periodically whenever the yen strikes me to write on subjects relating to sexuality in pagan thought.

I need also to point out at the beginning that these are my thoughts on the subject and don’t necessarily represent all pagans, deists or humanists.  In fact, that is part of my motivation for writing on these topics is to sort pagan sexuality out a little because viewpoints on these topics are varied.  The main issue though is that for most pagans, sexuality and spirituality are linked because sexuality is a part of life and living and thus part of the universe that is sacred. Sexuality is as much a spiritual reality as a physical and cultural one. Sacred Sex is a part of the spiritual viewpoint of pagans.

I also have to note that my deism and humanism kick in here as well as the fact I don’t dismiss the findings of biology, psychology or science in general when it comes to talking about gender, sex or sexuality.  I try very much to realize that we do have some scientific findings on the subject that presents both facts and truth in these areas.  I also realize that there is much that is not understood, and this dwells in the realm of spirituality and theory and these also factor in for discussion.

One final note, I was very well known as a Chrisitan blogger who wrote extensively on what the Bible says about sex, nudity, sexuality, and gender.  I have to warn you that my departure from Christianity has changed a lot of my viewpoints.  I have no appeal to authority anymore when it regards these topics.  Mostly I rely on my reason and experience on the deist/humanist side and my intuition and wisdom for the pagan side.  Some might comment at this time that it looks like I am trying to archive male-female balance in my viewpoint.  I am not sure about that but one thing is for sure, that you will see a massive viewpoint shift in these topics compared to what I used to write as a Christian.

So what will be some of the topics in Freya’s Chambers?  Well, sex and sexuality are broad topics to be sure, but below is a shortlist and a little discussion of where I am currently on some topics as examples.  This is not an exhaustive list of course, but I think it will give you a good idea of what you might encounter when you see the suffix heading “Freya’s Chambers”.

Sexual Identity: 

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I am going to say that if I take science into account, this whole discussion of gender identity for me kind of crystalizes into a few indisputable facts: 1) If you have a penis you are male, 2) If you have a vagina you are a female and 3) males and females are different.  Even pagans have ingrained in there viewpoint the idea of feminine and masculine spiritual forces.  It is part of the mythologies, part of the spiritual viewpoint.

For me, it is also a question of acceptance of self.  You don’t find spiritual peace by trying to be something you are not. Part of achieving spiritual peace is embracing who are and part of that is accepting that you are a man or a woman. There are exceptions to this dichotomy, even genetics tells us that, but such exceptions are rare and not the statistical norm.  The vast majority of us are male or female and that is not just physical but also sociological and psychological

Note this is about identity for me, not orientation.  Personally whether or nor someone’s sexual orientation is a choice or ingrained in who they are is irrelevant to me.  It matters little to me as a deistic humanist pagan, and as a libertarian, who someone has sex with as long as it is mutually consensual. Their business, not mine. I trust that each person can make those choices for themselves, and I am not qualified in any way to judge them right or wrong in their choice.

Nudity and Nudism:

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Leaving Christianity has allowed me to basically discard the whole tightrope walk of trying to look at nudity and where you fall into sin. Sin is gone in my thinking, so nudity is now looked at as purely as rational and pagan issues.  Things are actually quite free and open now for me on this topic.  Most pagans don’t have a view of nudity as wrong, just sometimes culturally unacceptable by others and in certain contexts. The human body is a beautiful thing and the naked human form should not automatically be seen as sexualized.

Don’t get me wrong there is a sexual side to nudity. To say that seeing a naked human being does not arouse sexual attraction at times is simply to deny reality. But just because a man or woman is naked; it does not follow that they are asking for sex.  Some people learn to distinguish between sexual intent and nudity and some people don’t.  For me the two can be together, but not necessarily.  It really comes down to context. Just because a person is naked, it does not mean that I can look past respecting them as a human being.  I should see their humanity first, then other things and only if it is clear those other things are presented to me.

For me, being an at-home nudist, I have discovered freedom I accepting myself to be very powerful.  I have to also admit, that I sometimes feel far more comfortable in my skin than in clothes. There is also the dual call in my heart, my inner wolves of need and want howling if you will, to shed my clothes both outside and with others. If my self-discovery has grown this much simply at home, I wonder what else could be discovered in other contexts. It is something I wrestle with because of past religious indoctrination and current relationships.

Masculine-Feminine Balance:

There is a reason I am not Wiccan and it was my perception very early on, even as a Christian, that Wiccans are imbalanced as far as gender. There is much emphasis on The Goddess and little else that is masculine.  Hell, their male practitioners argue whether they should be called witches or warlocks.  I just find Wicca to be very feminine and strongly so.  It is why Asatru is my choice because it is much more balanced.

Achieving balance for myself mostly involves making sure I embrace the strength of being a man within my self and the strength of the feminine around me. I get most of the later from the women in my life whose influence can not be understated.  I am very masculine with all that goes with it.  To have feminine perspectives in my life to balance that out is appreciated at all times.

Equality: 

See the source image

The whole ‘God the head of man, man the head of woman’ Christian viewpoint I have discarded like the patriarchal trash it is.  Talk about men writing a book to justify their male dominance over women, and you will not get a better example than the Bible.  I am egalitarian in my orientation and that means I will point out equality in both directions.  However, you also better be able to demonstrate the inequality is real with things like research.  That said, the genders have different strengths in and of themselves, but I don’t feel that one gender should have cultural, legal or social advantages over the other because of them.

For instance, on the one hand, women can rightly say that their roles in society are often forced on them.  There have definitely been some issues as far as to pay, opportunity and the like. On the flip side, the fact that men get longer sentences for the same crime and dower laws still exist requiring a man to take care of his ex after they split, but no such condition exists the other way, is also not equality.  In the United States where I live it has only been recently been challenged that men can be drafted for war but not women.

Going back to nudity above, I side with the ladies in saying if a man can take off his shirt and go bare-chested in certain public places, so should a woman.  On the flip side, the laws are less harsh when it comes to sexual misconduct when a woman exposes her genitals than a man in some states.  My point is that the whole social, cultural and legal world has these inequalities and I fight for their removal but it goes both ways.  It might be summed up in the simple example we need to move from saying: “it is not right to hit or rape a woman” to “it is not right to hit or rape another person”.

Gender Roles:

See the source image

Inequalities aside, genetics, science and such tell me that males and females not only are different right from birth, but they also tend to gravitate to different roles in society naturally. Some of these tests have been interesting as girls would dress up the trucks in dresses and boys would turn the dolls they were given to play with into action figures.  I don’t think we can escape the fact that in society women and men embrace certain roles naturally and some roles are just not possible by one gender or the other. We need to be equals as far as legal and societal rights; but in the end, some things just come naturally to one gender or the other.

I take on the feminists on this issue a lot where, for instance, they complain that there are not a lot of women CEOs.  I point out to them there doesn’t seem to be a lot of women coal miners or sewer workers either. It gets comically interesting when it is revealed that what a feminist considers equality doesn’t involve jobs that are dangerous or dirty most of the time. It is pretty clear that men gravitate toward the dangerous and dirty while women like secure and clean.  It is also clear that on dates, the man is still expected to pay for things, etc.  I think feminists reveal a lot of hypocrisy on this one and even women can see it, which is why many women refuse to identify themselves as feminists.

Sex:

See the source image

If you ask me the one thing that keeps me believing in the spiritual side of life above all others – it’s sex. Sorry, there is more to sex, at least to me, than just fucking.  Perhaps my perspective has been limited by the fact I have only made love physically to only one woman in my life, or perhaps it is why I feel that way.  One thing I do know that more is exchanged between us when we make love than bodily fluids.

I will talk about sex from time to time in a spiritual context. In this, you might also see the idea of sexual attraction as well. Under this topic, you might find other things like the effect technology has had on sex, etc.  I have had a few experiences of a sexual nature outside sexual intercourse with more than one woman along these lines, so there are notes that could be made.

Conclusion and Final Word: 

Throughout you will see me make note of changes from what I thought before as a Christian and now what I think that I am using more of a deistic humanist pagan mindset. I probably will never speak this broadly again and will take one topic at a time from now on. Mostly today I was pretty much shooting from the hip.  New posts in this topic suffix will probably be deeper in thought.  Mostly though there is a lot of changing things in my mindset that I am trying to crystallize and the best way for me to do that is to put them on digital paper.

Welcome to Freya’s Chambers.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Songs About the Wolf Within” – The Skald’s Lyre

Happy Saturn’s Day

Musical Journal:

In the fantasy genre of literature, the wolf and werewolf are very symbolic of the wild untamed side of the human experience. There is a sensual and animalistic point to the image of a wolf or a man/woman transforming into a werewolf.  In the world of music, there are songs about this animalistic side of humanity and they often use the image of the wolf. It’s not coincidental that this is so the image of wolves and men is an old one and a very powerful one.

This Skald’s Lyre is a little different.  It is about a type of song that relates to the human experience coupled with one of my favorite genres of books and film – fantasy.  In particular the world of fantasy horror and the wolf and werewolf image.  The music attempts to capture this essence in both lyrics and setting the tone with the music. It often does a very good job at both.

Personal Significance:

Today I am not going to list my personal significance with each song as that is not really the point.  For me, there are simply some good songs that call to my animal side or remind me that I have one. For me, the image of the wolf is center to my heart and self-identity so that fits too.

I have had two conversations with women about men that reflect this point along the sexual side of things. Hey, whenever I write about sex it always gets attention.

1) “What the world needs are fewer wolves and more gentlemen.” – my response was pretty simple. “My dear, a gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf.” Sorry, there is no such thing as a man who has an interest in a woman where raw sexuality isn’t present. You can keep it domesticated on civil but that raw energy is what powers all the other aspects of the relationship.  As an author once said – “everything is about sex, except sex which is about something else.”  A gentleman is just a really patient strategically-minded wolf looking for a certain type of woman to bed. He is simply a patient hunter.

2) “Men are all dogs.” – I had two responses to this.  a) So are women, women are just as horny and sexual as men.  They just like men to work at it to get them because they want to feel desired. Nothing wrong with that, but to take the high minded route that women aren’t just as interested as men about getting laid is just hypocritical. b) Men are all canine to be sure, but some of them are more domesticated than others.  Some of us seek to be more true to our ancestors and be the wolf. We are just honest about it.  If being a wolf means I am a truly masculine male, then that is my desire.  As a woman, you are either going to accept that and lose your fear of it or you are going to try to domesticate your man out of fear of his wild side and in my opinion, make him less of a man. You would probably be better off accepting his wild side and work more on embracing your own.

For me, being as wolf-like as possible and staying honest about it is something I strive to both focus and embrace.  This isn’t just about being honest about being masculine or sexual but also about the stronger emotions of anger and rage.  The desire to fight for what you care about and desire. So on my playlist are a few songs about this wolf side of things – the animal within and that animal for me is the wolf.

Playlist:

Bark at the Moon – Ozzy Osborne:

Wolf and Man – Metallica:

Animal I Have Become – Three Days Grace:

Night of the Werewolves – Powerwolf:

Úlfhéðnar – Dervhengrym:

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!