Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!!!
Disclaimer: The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues. If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss. Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some. I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.
I have been writing for about a month on the topic of sex and sexuality and their various issues and the one thing it is high time I do is to write about my own sexual identity. How do I view myself in regards to my sex and my sexual desires I think will help people understand where I am coming from as far as my own sexual perspective. A few things up front.
- I tend to be very science-oriented about these things. At least that is where I start. Much of academia these days listen to the social sciences on these issues but I know as someone who has a social sciences degree in political science that much of what is believed there is indeed political posturing and belief, not actual science. For me, genetics and clinical psychology count a lot; and so, if an opinion does not line up with those, it is probably destined for the scrap heap. I live in the real world using real-world observations, not fanciful fantasy.
- That said, part of this is my opinion about said evidence. Sex and sexuality have fuzzy edges because human beings are not black and white when it comes to these issues.
- I am a strong proponent of freedom of choice and liberty regarding these issues.
So I would boil my own sexual identity and orientation down to the following words which I will explain in more depth below: masculine, heterosexual. gynephilic, and egalitarian.
I have a penis, so I am male. I also like being a man and masculine. I have no shame of any of this and anyone who says I am toxic, even in part, because of my masculinity can bite me, fuck off, etc. I find such statements ironic because they are sexist but trying to address sexism. So no apologies for being a man and acting in masculine manners.
I suppose being INFJ, my intuitive empathic side is a little feminine but it most definitely expresses itself in the form of masculine reason and logic. I fight to survive and thrive in life. I am protective of my own. I seek to be strong for those I love. I am loyal to family and principles I hold dear. I seek rational action. I can be patient with some things, but in the end, something has to be done and the man in me rises up to do it. I strive for peace but prepare for war. I am aggressive but strive to tailor that to the situation.
I have actually taken tests in this regard and have a few personal experiences in life and have found I don’t really have any attraction to men sexually speaking at all. I don’t trust the motives of most men for one and I don’t like how they always see the big guy and need to posture and thump their chests trying for dominance over me. Sorry there dude, – alpha male here. Save your insecurities for someone who wants to respond to them.
Sexual orientation wise I like girls and don’t like guys. I was kissed once by a homosexual man, and while I won’t say this is wrong morally, I found it personally distasteful. Not my thing. The tests I have taken on this issue say I am 90% to 95% heterosexual. Sorry gentlemen I like ladies. In fact, I love women.
While I have loved a few women very strongly in my life, I would have to say that I have been gynephilic since I hit puberty which for me happened early at about ten. I love women in general and have ever since. I am attracted to and admire femininity greatly. It has gotten me in trouble so many times, but you know I don’t care. It’s an addiction I will gladly keep because there is a lot of joy in it for me personally.
I love how women think, look, smell and act. I like the way they walk and talk. There is still something magical for me about the feminine and if that magic ever goes away, it is probably time for the dirt nap. I have no particular preferences either. I can usually find the beautiful side of any woman who accepts their femininity in some way.
That’s probably the only turn off for me personally – when a woman denies their femininity. Note I didn’t say tries to act like a man but denies who they really are. You can act like a man and I still can know you are a woman because you do it without denying you are a woman.
I love women and it will probably be the death of me, but I will go with a smile on my face.
I love women to the point I have no desire to dominate them or be dominated by them. I want to stands as equals with them and I have always loved those moments where I and any woman have worked together; and because it was a woman/man partnership, it seemed actually to work much better than otherwise.
I have come to see through these moments how much better life is when we work together with our male and female strengths coming together to cover our weaknesses as human beings. We need each other and I find the constant bickering and rivalry troubling. While we should be fighting side by side against the chaotic forces of this world, this sexual rivalry, however, seems to rob us of what we could achieve. Our survival and prosperity depend on us working with each other.
I suppose as with all things INFJ, I am being idealistic here. But someone has to do it. It is probably this sexual identity that keeps me looking for the perfect relationship which does not and probably cannot exist for me. It is this idealism that explains why I go over the edge when I am in love. But when I look at issues like sex, sexuality and the issues that are related, I must admit I see them through the filter of my own sexual identity. So what you see written in Freya’s Chambers should be read in that light.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.