Relationships

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Part 5) – A Time of Memories

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day

It is hard to believe but I haven’t written a The Grey and the Wayfarer post since early Yuletide. I have been busy enough; I think, to keep The Grey at least in check in my life and continue to walk the path. Recent days have seen a change in my mind I guess and mostly it is due to the fact that at this time last year, I began to start a time of year that is now a bittersweet memory. Mostly bitter in the end. It is not just a time of memory and struggle for me, but for my wife as well.  There is a flood of emotions about these memories for both of us and they run the whole spectrum, but mostly I notice that they have a depressive effect for me.

I think the best way to walk this path through The Grey is to firstly know that these memories are not just going to go away.  Ignoring them will not help me; nor will pretending they do not exist. That just leads to a worse mental state and that is not going to help.  There is a lot of guilt associated with many of them now, and I need to work through them to get over that.  Personally, I know it is going to be rough but I need to walk through it to make myself a better man on the other side of it.

The second thing I think needs to happen is that new good memories need to be created.  I have two significant milestones coming up during this time:  1) My 50th birthday – personally I don’t care if it celebrated, and I am not sure given last year who would come to such a thing, but it is a significant thing to be a half a century old.   2) My wife and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary on June 10th. Given that we spent last anniversary apart, I think it is very important that we celebrate this one and do it together. I guess I would rather see a celebration here by family as well for a lot of reasons. Mostly we need a celebration of our love for each other.

In the meantime, every day is a journey of another step toward where I want to be.  There are many forks and crossroads ahead. I need to make wise decisions as to which path to take. The problem of course with The Grey, and why I am taking it pretty seriously right now, is that it is like an overcast sky that can make the things unclear and not as illuminated as they could be as I choose which path to take.  It is why I stick to my plans and goals with discipline, despite what I feel at times, so I keep moving.

The one writing note I have at this time is that I am planning on doing some fiction writing soon.  It has just been a little difficult to get my Muse to kick my ass into gear about it. I don’t know, she might be asleep or on vacation. In any case though, I have a lot of time off from work next week; and unless that changes, I plan on filling that with school, continuing my  job search and writing fiction.

Thanks to all that read this blog. You are appreciated.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Self-Reliance: Leaned Out and Building Strength

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

The thing about the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) is that the definition of self-reliance is simply ‘the spirit of independence’ and I find the simplicity of that definition to be its greatest strength. The rest of the virtue simply extends that out to the family, tribe and nation but the definition is that self-reliance is ‘the spirit of independence’. Independence is defined as free from outside control, not dependent on another for living and subsistence and thinking and acting for yourself.  To be self-reliant means to embrace the process by which you live in freedom of choice, lifestyle and thought.

There is probably no virtue of the NNV that I resonate with more. Liberty and the freedom that goes with it, is something I hold very dear. I get more angry about people trying to control me, make me dependent on them or trying to tell me what to think and do than anything else. I will not be controlled.

I also get mad when I watch people in my country casually sacrifice their rights and freedoms on the altar of security.  Dependence makes you less secure not more secure. You want security? Embrace the spirit of independence that allows you to secure as much of it as you can for yourself and by yourself. There is really no true security in his world, so live free so that way you at least you will have a wonderful life without fear.

There are two obstacles to self-reliance and both of them are internal.  1) Is to attach to many things to yourself, so that you are so obligated to other things and people who you never really can make a choice about what you want.  2) To not strengthen yourself enough to stand on your own. I say both are internal because to become dependent involves a choice to do so.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

People thrive more in freedom.  They become more of what they are capable of, when they have the liberty and freedom to pursue what makes the happy and fulfilled. Now, I don’t care what circumstances surround you, this need can always be fulfilled.  The government, religion and other factors really cannot bind a truly free person. The Virtue is always livable.  It is something we need.

The problem with this is we need to spend time strengthening ourselves and not weighing ourselves down with obligations that really do not serve us.  We should act on what gives us Joy rather than what others think we should do. It is why I embrace minimalism as a part of my philosophy. It allows me to lean myself out so that I can concentrate more on strengthening the things that give me joy.  I will talk more about the aspects of my minimalism the next cycle, but if there is any key to maintaining an attitude to independence, it starts there.

Wants (Freki):

Yes, I want self-reliance.  The one thing that I have learned is that dependence can lead to disaster.  I was very dependent on others in my last job; and quite frankly it is what bit me in the ass in the end, because those people proved untrustworthy.  I want to be in a place that even if relationships turn out to be false again, it doesn’t throw me off because I am not dependent on them.

Reason (Huginn):

Reason tells me that I must make decisions that regularly reflect on the question of do I need this or do I want this?  To many times we are following the impulses of what we want without thought of how dependent we are becoming on others to get them.  We also don’t think of how that new thing or relationship might make us obligated to the point we lose some of our freedom. I need and want self-reliance and we will not get it by simply following our impulses.  We need instead to be very deliberate about our choices in who we are in relationships with and what things we take on responsibility for.  That requires thought every time.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom tells is that liberty, freedom and self-reliance are precious things that need to be guarded and maintained. They are not easily won and so they should not easily be discarded. This constant vigilance of mind and heart is the price for it, but the benefits are truly better than the alternative.

Conclusion:

Self-reliance is something I strive for.  I have to on the one hand not bring anything in my life that drains it and I also have to strengthen myself in ways so I can maintain it. There is a constant battle here but one that is well worth it at the end of the day.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Evening Routine: Reading

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Part of my daily routine is study and working on school.  As I was putting together my Evening Routine last week, I put together the practical things I needed to do for such a routine but as I went through the week I realized there was something missing – Reading for enjoyment.  The need for this pressed on me as I realized that a lot of my routines are about getting things done a discipline.  But part of me needs to enjoy life a bit and adding a 15 minute reading session at the end of the day right before I nod off to sleep is needed.

If there is anything I have learned about Routines is that there needs to be a part of each one I look forward to doing. Reading is something I enjoy when I have the time.  I need to make the time instead and put it near the end. There is an element of this that is me escaping into another world.  I need this more than most people know.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Probably the only thing that concerns me these days regarding discipline is time.  Time is the same for every person and it requires discipline to make the most of it.  The issue is disciplining relaxation into things so it allows recovery. I need to look at this further, but reading in the evening routine is kind of like that.  I also like to game a little on my PC and perhaps that needs to be part of the daily routine for say an hour at the end of the day too.  A reward for a successful day.  Something I need to look at more so that I don’t get to the end of the day and ask – how has this helped me relax and be more at peace and have no good answer.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

The job search is becoming a matter of perseverance as I seem like I am getting no where but it always seems that way right up until the interview is scheduled and then I know I can do well. It is just a matter of going forward in what seem to be failure and defeat.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I hate when I am busy because it always makes family stuff and time with my wife seemed rushed. I don’t like that from a fidelity point of view as people in my life deserve my time.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Balance is a key issue in wisdom and this has caused me to look at everything in the context of cost and benefit.  I have often ask people who work a lot – “what good does that do you if you never have time to enjoy what you are building?”  It is a question I stop and ask myself from time to time. At the same time if you enjoy what you’re doing then work can be a time of relaxation form a spiritual point of view.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The real issue is weightlifting and walking still. I don;t want to join a gym only to have job that does not allow me access to it anymore.  I need backup plan for both that does not require a gym.  A full dumbbell set might do the trick for one.  The other I just need to wait for spring as I don’t have the proper gear for walking in the snow.  So much hinges in improving income.  It needs to be my focus along with school. The cheat meal count has dropped to the level I want it to be all the time.  This is the test of whether this lifestyle can be maintained.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Reading for 15 minutes at the end of the day.  Somehow this suits me. It also might help me start working through this backlog of books I need to read. But first I got two new ones on Norse mythology. The rest of it is going surprisingly well.

Nutrition:

Nutrition is my main thing now regarding health and perhaps it is good that I don’t have the gym in some ways because it has forced me to focus on it.  The fasting is easier than expected and the carb counts are good and the cheat meals.  The thing is that in a couple more weeks the diet enters a very serious phase. I need to be ready for it

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I actually feel pretty good here.  I feel like my foundational virtues are good.  I need more courage at times but I also think that part of my personality is not to give a shit about offense at times. these are hard virtues to practice because they are so abstract, but I do feel like I have learned to crawl so time to learn to walk in them.

Business – I don’t struggle with the virtues as much here – just the results. Mostly I need to keep disciplined about school and keep the job hunt going while enjoying and getting the most out of my current job as much as possible.

Self – It is in the end about being a better me. It is all I really can control and even then there are some elements beyond my control.  Life is more like sailing in many ways.  You have to take the wind as it is and make the most of your abilities to still get where you want to go. Sometimes it is at your back and other times you have to tack back and forth.  Either way you keep your eyes on the prize and then find out what you need to do to get there.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Smithing My Fortune

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

I don’t believe in fate or destiny or any of that crap. I look at what people call fate or whatever, and it looks suspiciously to me like you are just reaping the rewards of your own decisions good or bad.  I also don’t believe everything happens for a reason.  I believe sometimes good things happen and there is no reason to it. Of course, I have long rejected the notion that God causes all things to happen to us; as it gets very difficult to explain that there was a good reason for a woman to be raped or for parents to see the five-year old child drown.  Sorry sometimes shitty things happen and there is no greater plan.  You can learn from these things; and be a better and stronger person for it, but there is often no sense to be made from it.

So when I look at making my own way in the world and building something for my wife and I, I look to my self and my own decisions.  As the Icelandic proverb states – I am well aware that I am the smith of my own fortune.  There are two issues right now. 1) Finding a better job and 2) whether or not to continue with my education.

I am trying not to be as picky, but at the same time my previous work and life experience should count for something. I don’t think being a lawyer would work for me.  I would rather do business, writing or even, somebody mentioned this to me. journalism. Mostly though I have to make up for twenty years of doing a professional grade job (pastor is white-collar) for wages at the hourly Joe job level for twenty years, and so I lean toward business.

If this is the case then an MBA might be a better plan long-term.  The nice thing is that there are so many completely online MBA programs these days.  Even one at the college I just graduated from.  I have to give this one serious thought.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

The goal is complete self-reliance in all things. To do that now and in the future requires a growth in prosperity.  You can’t just get content even late in life. It leads to stagnation and death. Self-Reliance is very much about staying strong long-term.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I can work any job with some enjoyment to it.  However, I do long for a job I love, but any work can be enjoyable if you look at it through the right frame of mind.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I really don’t have much opportunity to be hospitable, but it is always there.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

This question of ‘is this decision just’ is always in front of me now. Every time I do something related to other people, I find myself thinking on what the best or most right decision should be for all parties and advocate for that. I guess I am pretty good at being a negotiator in some terms, at least in the terms of seeing both sides of an issue.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently two a day.

Carb count drops to two for this week and next.  The rest now reflects three online classes and an internship, plus staying on top of keeping my marriage strong.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

Gym Membership is on hold and the job search has yielded so far no results.  The rest of them are all in progress.  When today’s post drops we will be at 115 straight days of blogging.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Still working # 1 but it is getting closer.  The key is still a better paying job for myself. Time to smith a better fortune for myself.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Truth: Love’s Joy

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day:

Discussion:

If there is a holdover from my days as a Christian it is the connection between truth and love that is found in 1 Corinthians 13:6.  The idea that truth is something that love rejoices in is very real to me.  Of the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Truth is probably the most challenging in terms of thinking of it in love, because we often think we are more loving by protecting others or ourselves by not facing or revealing the truth. Nothing is less true.  Lies are not loving actions.  They are protective ones, but they are not loving ones.

There is a challenge here as the virtue of truth says it is better to be silent than to not tell the truth. But sometimes silence is the lie. You have to be careful here as sometimes as painful as the truth may be; it needs to be said or the silence of it perpetuates other lies.

Truth is something that loving people share with each other and being offended at the truth shows a lack of love.  With all the political correctness and people getting offended at things, you probably now know where I stand on all that.  If your offended, then you have no love there.  Love is indeed patient, not easily offended. Truth is something that challenges that on a regular basis.  Truth has the potential to offend as I have discovered on several occasions blogging.

People have their prejudices; that’s all of us by the way.  Everyone has their biases and everyone objectifies. It isn’t about race, creed or sex on this on;, it is simply a fact of being human. This is a truth that first must be faced by yourself and toward yourself. Facing your own prejudices and how you objectify others is something that is a constant battle.  Too many people take one of two tactics, either to deny their existence or to claim has arrived to a higher plane where they are no longer there. Or worse they justify them.

Objectification is particularly daunting because we do it probably every day and often to people we claim to love. Spouses objectify each other, siblings, parents to children. When you stop seeing people as human, and see them as an object to gratify your needs then you have crossed the line.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

We need truth, because it allows us to go forward to achieving what we need without objectifying others.  There is a connection here between Need and Reason that truth provides.  Our need to love and be loved has to have truth or we cannot reasonably approach the subject of how to fulfill our needs without exploitation of another’s rights. You will never be loving if you don’t face the truth about your relationships with others. Truth is needed or its is just one big game of objectification.

Wants (Freki):

We also want the truth, but we also want comfort and security.  This is probably the main reason we lie.  We don’t want to offend but in so doing we are objectifying the other person assuming they will be a problem and be offended at what we have to say.  I suppose in our culture these days this is an easy assumption to make.  But being offended and fearing to offend are equally objectification.

We want truth because it cuts through both of these things and gets to the real healing and often progress in meeting our needs and wants.

See the source image

Reason (Huginn):

Reason cannot function in lies.  It just can’t.  Reason requires truth to function and make sound decisions.   Reason simple faces the truth and draws conclusions.  It is why being a reasonable person is a loving action.  Not cold, like some would say, driven by pure logic. Reason is connected to truth and truth is the joy of love. Love sees the truth and then engages reason to genuinely help.  in this era of feelings first this needs to be stated over and over again.  Feelings cannot make right to wrong decisions, they are just feelings. reason guided by truth will always lead to loving decisions.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom says that this connection between Love, Truth and Reason needs to be constantly respected and kept in balance.  Truth becomes the pivot point between Reason and Love.  Decisions become based in truth so they are both beneficial and yet compassionate.  Wisdom respects Truth’s efforts to keep both in balance.

Conclusion:

I knew when I set up my progression though the NNV that Truth would be one of the more difficult.  Combine that with the fact I connected it the Higher Virtue of Love and you create a large and very difficult pair of concepts to grasp. Abstract doesn’t even begin to describe the difficulty. That said both of these ideas are why I believe something is out there beyond the biology and physics.  Truth is a little bit more than biological and physical facts.  Just like that which takes joy in it – Love.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Skald Tales and Poems – Poem – “Soul Blood”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

“Soul Blood”

I remember in the heat of summer,

where blood poured from my soul.

Wounds received from terrible blades

from the front, behind and within.

 

Shades of crimson flecked with gold

Pooling beneath my feet and pouring over my hands

As they tried to stop the bleeding.

Vainly they tried.

 

Weak I was on my knees

Destroyed and anemic

My heart slowing

Empty, alone, dying

 

Echos of the voices that wielded the blades – mocking me

A good friend becomes betrayer

A lover becomes a stranger

My own silent faith, echoing in my ears.

 

For days I bled, with no hope.

Until the one I betrayed saw my wounds

She did not raise her own blade in vengeance

Rather she touched my soul with her healing hand.

 

The bleeding stopped just in time.

Her own soul blood poured into me and restored my soul

She closed the wounds with stitches of compassion

I now bleed no more.

 

The scars remain forever

Reminders of who wasn’t true.

But my soul’s blood pumps strong once more

Reminding me of she who became my Eir

A Poem by Edward W. Raby, Sr. – January 14th, 2019

Author Notes:

O have written this poem over the last week or so.  Finishing it on the 14th of January 2019.

In this poem I have been trying to capture the feelings of the month of August 2018.  Feelings that are strong and were at the time devastating. I came up with the title of soul-blood as a way describe it.  I then ran with the concept.

Emotionally this was difficult as one as on the one hand every time I write a poem I am reminded of the person who helped me understand and write them better.  “Lover becomes a stranger” is her line and it still hurts to think on it.  The scar throbs when I write a poem because of her, so to speak.

One the other hand, I have for the first time ever in this poem truly used my wife as an inspiration for the poem.  She is my Eir.  Eir being the Valkyrie known for her healing ability.  My wife became my Eir that month.  She has been so ever since and of all people she had the least reason to take on that role.  The Valkyrie I waited for at the time was her in the end.

Hope you enjoy this poem and I always appreciate comments on my poems as I still am very new to this.

Thanks for reading,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Adding Wisdom

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Knowledge might tell you it is raining, wisdom tells you to take out an umbrella or find cover, etc. Wisdom is hard to completely define as well but its actions are clear.  When one finds themselves at a fork in the road of life, wisdom tells you what branch to take that is going to be the best.

Adding Wisdom is to the self Virtues is a natural fit, as wisdom ultimately affects us personally the most.  Discipline is about being wise of looking ahead so greater and greater purposes can be achieved.  Wisdom says to keep going despite failure and defeat because to stop is to die and no longer be truly alive. Fidelity is the wisdom of keeping your relationships strong, and being loyal to those who are loyal to you makes you stronger.

For me, this image of standing a crossroads happens often in life; it is what it means to be The Grey Wayfarer for me.  Wisdom is the process of assessing which path is best.  Wisdom guides the decision and thus becomes a very important higher virtue.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The real trick right now is to make sure routines are finished each day and that the weeks work has been done.  I find that while I do need to take breaks from time to time, the best way to handle all of it is to of it as early as possible in each day.

I am debating with and evening routine that would basically be me doing an evening quick hygiene thing and laying out my stuff for the next day, so things go faster in the morning.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I keep going, I don’t know if this pause in between things constitutes failure or defeat so much as waiting for what is next.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I meditate often on how fidelity is much easier the smaller your circle is. At the same time, more friends is more opportunity.  Something I need to think more about.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Right now, wisdom is a big thought on my mind because I am changing the direction of my life and I want my new path to be a wise one. Adding the virtue means I have to think about what decisions I have upcoming and what the wisest course of action might be.

Right now I have another semester to do.  My degree is finished except for the internship but I had to take a few classes to maintain full-time status to pay for it. Eventually, I will get some of the grant money from the research project  for the internship to offset that but right now taking a few classes that will both pad my resume and keep the student loan people away for a bit. I continue to search for a new job and hopefully something that fits me and my life better will show itself soon.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 3

Everything on here is doable.  The issue mostly is weightlifting and walking because I don’t have a place to do them. I need a new gym for that.  The rest I can do right now and have been.

Nutrition:

My cheat meal count has dropped to three for this week and next. Eventually when I drop to two a week and two carb sources a day, that is where I want my lifestyle to be after this special diet for my birthday is done. In short, I am getting where I want my regular lifestyle habit to be very soon.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – By adding Love this week, I feel there is an overall vision to my virtues in the foundational aspects of my life.  If there is a question now about Courage, Honor and Truth I can ask the question – which action is the most loving?

Business – The same could be said with Justice and the three virtues Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  “What is the most just action?” becomes the question here.

Self –  ‘What is the wisest action’ is the question for my self virtues.  This will guide my questions of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity. Adding wisdom was a good call

In short when considering any decision I have three questions to ask about it.  What is the most loving action? What is the most just action? What is the wisest action?  Knowing which virtue is being used will be helpful with this to know which question applies the most. I like the change and the Higher Virtues are now fully incorporated.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Adding Love

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Love is an interesting virtue.  I said in the pagan pulpit yesterday that it is a motivating force for many people but it is not the best one. I am not; however, dismissing its value as an overarching consideration in decisions.  It is OK to be motivated by love as long as it is done freely.  Adding the virtue to the foundational virtues is a natural fit.

Honor, Courage and Truth can be seen as virtues that express different aspects of Love. Honor is love of self.  Courage is acting bravely in love of something one considers valuable or sacred.  Truth – well even the Bible says love rejoices in truth to which I would agree.

The problem is defining love.  There are many ways to look at love and languages reflect this difficulty, as almost all languages and cultures have multiple definitions of love and how those words and definitions can be used. Below is a thought I read that I think reflects the problem.

Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

Rather than having a definition that will restrict my understanding of love, I will leave it open and perhaps the many facets of love can be explored. mostly I want the theme of love to be used to evaluate the other three virtues listed here.  Honor, Courage and Truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I do have a very positive outlook right now about the future.  Right now my wife describes our life as ‘dull’, but I am glad for the simple normality of it.  I do however have a desire for something better in the sense of prosperity and comfort for the both of us, but mostly I am looking at myself and our relationship more positively.  I look to the future a lot more than the past. I see things better and better each day and that is the product of a developing sense of honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

It is time t put myself back out there with a new direction in mind.  I am back to boarding the viking ship and setting a course.  A new course for my life and who I am.  I embrace this with courage and I am actually a lot happier right now than I have been in a while. It is time to act on that feeling and do so with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I find that I either speak the truth, which is actually quite rare or I say nothing. Perhaps one could say I speak a lot through blogging. This however is well thought out speech and carefully crafted.  Writing is like that.  Mostly though truth is about pursuing what is true and wise. It is not so much that I arrive at truth or wisdom or knowledge but that I am on a journey to discover it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In my Christian Days I cold easily just turn to 1 Corinthians 13 and had a definition of love that was given to me.  My problem with this definition even though I think it does define some aspects of love perfectly, is that it leaves out the physical side of love which in my mind is still important.  There is a reason why we call sex – lovemaking.

Trying to come up with a definition that is more encompassing of all aspects of love is very difficult.  I am not really going to try.

I simply will say at this point that every time I have a sense of honor about myself, that every time I act in courage and that every time I pursue truth that these are acts of love. This little section will chronicle each week what I discover though these actions.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Solid part of the day every morning.  Meditation is a little off right now because I want to make it more formal but I am still think as to how to do that. It may involve rearranging my office area a little.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I need a systematic plan here.  I am thinking that number 2 and number 6 are the most likely this year. To do these require money for the tattoos to be saved and the novel require regular writing. I could also add as a backup  number 7 Latin as I have the books to do that already. Need to start acting on these.

Mostly though I want to create a collage to put on my wall with representations of all of them.  Something more visual to remind me of them. That may be the first step.

Weightlifting:

I am going to join a gym this week or early next.  I can’t take not lifting anymore so I am just going to do it and make the adjustments as needed.  I have lost well over a month of gains and I need to fix that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Family Values

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s Day. It is also the 7th Night of Yuletide.  This night is sacred to Thor and Children.  There is an idea here of resurrection and renewal.  The idea of continuation in this night with children being the future and Thor’s sacrificing his two goats with his hammer for food and then raising them back to life the next morning as part of the mythology.  Thus the basis for the virtue of Fidelity, which is remembered tonight,  which is continuation and legacy.

Journal Entry:

I guess the only thoughts worth considering this week were the continued questions of faith with the whole Christmas thing. It is very strange, in a getting used to it sense, to not be celebrating Christmas in the sense I used to celebrate it.  That is celebrating the incarnation of Christ.  I just don’t buy that anymore. So I move along with people wishing me Merry Christmas and me saying ‘Happy Holidays’ in return and not getting bent out of shape about it either way.  There is a pagan part of me that wants to say ‘Blessed Yuletide’ back but perhaps this isn’t the time for me to do that yet. I have a lotto sort out yet regarding my faith.

The truth is though I want any holiday to be a time of community and family. So it is better not be an ass about it and move along given that most of my family is Christian including my wife.  It was weird Christmas Eve as it was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t at a candlelight service.  Instead I let my wife go alone and I stayed at home.  I spent the time thinking and meditating on a few things.

The one thing I will probably be doing in between writing fiction is working on The Book of Rabyd.  You can find an older incarnation of this book here: The Book of Rabyd.  The design was a book of principles, wisdom and sayings of the family passed down through the years.  I was reworking it on the Microphone.  I am going to try to rework it again as it needs to be updated. It is the basis for the values of the family.  It is also my legacy to my children and grandchildren.

The one thing though that starts today is the active seeking of a new job.  Time for me to be about the Business Virtues and pursuing my goals.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

The issue as always is to be independent.  To not be reliant on others for my life and lifestyle. This extends to my family as well, and that it is just my wife and I in practicality.  The hope is to be debt free and prosperous to the point we don’t need anyone’s help to stand on or own two feet. So far so good, but more needs to be done for the future’s sake.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Funny thing is as much as I bitch about work with my fellow employees, I actually am starting to enjoy working for work sake. Now I just need to find something I enjoy doing as well for its sake and mine.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

You know, we are getting to the point where fiends over for dinner and a movie is not beyond the realm of possibility.  if I only had some friends that were local. I hoping through a new job to find some.  I just still have this problem of trusting people after being betrayed.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – 1 hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Writing – 1000 words/day outside the Blogging.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

This new routine is working out better.  I still think though that another change is in order in the writing department. That’s why I added the Writing part.  Time to start working on that novel and perhaps my career as a writer.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

# 3 is front and center and # 6.  Both I hope to get going very soon, Once Number 3 and 2 are finished I will consider myself on my way to my new chapter of my life.  Goals: achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

I think the real reason we are following this is because both of us can agree to it. It will work we just need to up the income side of things.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Final Resolve

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. It’s also the second night of Yuletide.  The Night of the Wild Hunt sacred to Odin and ancestors. We remind ourselves of how important hearth and home is as it is the only thing that can protect someone from The Hunt. The Hunt that begins on Samhain and continues to the end of the year with Oath Night sweeping everything before it. We remember Perseverance as one of the Nine Noble Virtues. Today is also the Winter Solstice – the longest night of the year. It only gets brighter from here. 

Journal Entry:

I suppose it has been an interesting week.  Trying to get some things finalized for school, going to work and working in retail at this time of year is pretty interesting.  I also have been using the new free time just to relax a little.  I now have some time to play a little Skyrim and watch Harry Potter movies.

I am also motivated with a new resolve to find a new career path.  My friend has an interesting term for some jobs = a ‘Joe Job’.  I know what he means as Joe Jobs are the kind of job where you put in your hours to make money but you are never going to get ahead with such jobs – just survive. I want to do more than survive. I also want to enjoy what I am doing.  I have found an enjoyment to just working itself but I want to find a job I enjoy as well.

That said, I am enjoying the downtime from school and I feel more relaxed and in a better frame of mind. I am in a tension of sorts of wanting this time of rest to last but also getting tired of where I am in some respects now.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The only issue of discipline right now is the study/reading time which I ma basically having trouble in figuring out what I want to do. Probably should have been a little more proactive here.  The other areas are Walking and Weightlifting which basically I have no place to do right now.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I made it.  I finished school and I am now looking for a new career.  I wanted to be at this point in am much different way that I arrived but I got here nonetheless.  The different path was interesting and full of some unique joys and perils.  But to stand here at a point I aimed at and having arrived…yeah I feel good.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I still struggle with what exactly to be loyal to as far as faith. That said my principles are starting to harden into a good philosophy to live by and I am enjoying that process. I spend time with my wife whenever I can to keep our relationship strong.  I love my family and I am starting to love myself again. I have a small (very small) circle of friends that I am very loyal to.  At work some people have shown their support of me and I support them in kind.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

Cleaning yes,  Weightlifting and Walking are problematic because I don’t have a place to do them right now. I also have to admit that I haven’t been looking hard yet.  Mostly this is a financial concern,

Nutrition:

Next week will be the first time my diet tightens so that I am allowed four carb sources and day and four cheat meals a week.  Timing is probably spot on as this kind of vigilance is needed during the holidays.  Just a nudge right now so that is good.  With no place to lift or walk right now, nutrition is very important to maintain where I am.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – It was a good week for honor, courage and truth.  I enjoy the fact that all I have left is my internship and that I am moving forward with my life.

Business – Opportunities are now open pt me and I have been made aware of some of them, sifting through these to try to find the one that will be a joy to me and allow me to have the hugest level of self-reliance, industriousness and hospitality is now the task before me.

Self – The real issue to me right now I that I miss weightlifting.  It’s just joining a gym has two problems right now.  1) Until I get past Yuletide, Money is going to be tight. 2) I don’t know where I will be working ultimately so I don’t want a long-term commitment until I do know.  Discipline is solid but could be better, but I have to say graduation has been a symbol of Perseverance fulfilled and Fidelity is solid.  Looking forward to seeing all my folk together in one place.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!