Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day
At 1.5% of the population, we INFJs are the rarest personality type of the 16 identified by Myers-Briggs. We know it too. We feel unique because it is clear what motivates us is to not be like everybody else. It is no accident that my personality gravitates to something like the Nine Noble Virtues and living a life that is higher and deeper based on them. Words like Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity as far as my self concept mean a lot more to me, than they might to others. All of these virtues have one powerful thing behind them – they are the wise way to handle myself in the midst of this world. Stay disciplined, keep getting up and stay faithful to the people who have shown themselves faithful to you is simply the wisest way to live for me.
At this point, I have to mention how much from last year to this my personality changed. Not that I moved to INFJ from something else, but rather how much stronger it is. I mentioned before my Introverted score increased from 75% to 94%. From an understanding of myself point of view the other three also all became stronger as well. I got burned, because I trusted my logic a little too much about people instead of my intuition, so I follow my gut more now with a higher N score 64% to 76%. I have a higher emphasis on love being mutual happiness, so I am much more focused on feelings being important. F score goes from 58% to 63% I used to point out how close my J score was to becoming P, but not anymore as it has gone from 51% to 78%.
This is the most significant change. I might reflect this in the statement – “I don’t trust words or even actions anymore – I judge patterns and results.” I look at the end result and the patterns of behavior and trust my judgment of them more than just the surface words and actions anymore. In short, I am much more cautious about relationships than ever and I am far more focused on stuff that really means something and my own happiness.
The suggested strategy for my living with this personality is to walk in confident individualism and realize that my role in any group is to be the diplomat. I would say that is a fairly accurate way to live – a wise way to live.
“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”
Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.
Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.
Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.
Discipline is something I cling to as an INFJ. Having a plan of self-improvement is just a natural thing to me. If I have to watch anything, it is when I do achieve something the satisfaction from that does not last very long. I am asking what is next very quickly. I need to learn to celebrate achievements a little more.
“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”
Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.
Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.
INFJ people just keep going, Mostly because we don’t really ‘need’ people but we do. I know that seems contradictory, but my personality is such that I can live without people and so when they leave me or abandon me or hurt me, I keep going. That said, I can’t go forever without someone ‘getting me’, It makes me slow down and it also leaves me vulnerable. Vulnerability that I can’t see but does build up until I will, without much thought, gravitate toward a person who does ‘get me’ regardless of consequences.
“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”
Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.
Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation
Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.
This vulnerability became really apparent to me last year at this very time of year, although I would not at that time have identified it as such. There was a young woman who ‘got me’ at a time of my life where I felt no one really did, not even those closest to me in both family and friends seemed to get me, just her. My personality was really excited about this person because they got me. I started to love and gravitate toward this person because of it. I didn’t really care about much else. I didn’t’ really identify at the time the danger because I didn’t feel it was a bad thing because my need for this had gotten so high.
In the area fidelity, I struggle because I can go long periods without people in my life, but at the same time something inside is crying out to be understood and it slowly gets louder until it is screaming. The problem then is fidelity and even other virtues and their importance diminish in order to meet this need and it is such a strong need I don’t care about too much else.
I still have a hole in my life since Miss Salty’s departure but it isn’t about the romantic side of that relationship at all. I have that with my wife right now. It’s the simple thing of she ‘got me’ completely. Saw through the bullshit of the hard calm exterior and reached out to me as a friend and that meant a lot to me.. That was worth its weight in gold to someone with my personality. It is so rare though and I wonder if I will ever have that again. At the same time I wonder if I even want it to happen again, because my fidelity with other people becomes a struggle when such a relationship appears in my life. It tends to be all-encompassing because it is so rare to me.
To combat this, I make sure my wife and I tell each other we love each other now. We make a point of it to tell each other in not just words but actions. The problem remains in that I am not sure right now even with her, if she truly ‘gets me’ all the time. She is however more mindful of it and checks on my much more than she did which I appreciate so much. Also, I am much more mindful of my need here and try to deal with it better. What I need probably is more friends that can each fill a part of that hole. But that Introvert score is so large now thanks to this last year, and as such I am always being a skeptic when someone says their my friend or want to be my friend. I really only have two friends I trust anymore completely and one of them is my wife.
Higher Virtue – Wisdom:
I am all about making wise choices now, but in wisdom I also see there are not ‘black and white’ answers. Only different levels of grey that I must navigate to find the best course. With Discipline I stay focused on my goals and try to be better every day. With Perseverance I keep going because there is little wisdom in dwelling on defeats and failures. Keeping a small circle and staying true to those who have been true to me is my fidelity motto, but there is my ‘weakness’ of the growing need for someone who ‘gets me’ completely and I have to guard myself but at the same time meet that need some way. I guess the path to wisdom will become apparent as I walk it.
- Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
- Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
- Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
- Cleaning – 3 days a week.
- Writing – 3 times a week
- Latin – 3 times per week
- Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.
This needs simply to be implemented. I think it is simply time to run with it and see what happens.
Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):
Goals Achieved: 1 Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.
Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.