Meditation

“Haustblot – A Fall Festival (September 22nd-23rd)” – Odin’s Eye – Holidays

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

This holiday actually was celebrated a few days ago.  Haustblot or Fallfest is associated with the end of the harvest season.  Perhaps it would be better to say it celebrates the beginnings of the end of the harvest season which will continue right up to Winternights.  This is a minor blot or festival and so it is not given a lot of fanfare per se.  But it does mark the beginning fo the fall season.

A lot of gods and goddesses are honored at this point and reflected on.  Anyone of them that is associated with the harvest or fertility is on the list. Being the beginning of fall in the northern hemisphere it is celebrated as we are starting the journey to Winternights and ultimately Yuletide.

If there is any hold out to how this holiday is celebrated it is the idea of a bonfire usually made from the lighting of the hearth in each home and then each family bringing a torch from that to light the common fire for the community. Pretty rich in symbolism.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I think that faith that nature will continue to provide is a key element of this beginning harvest festival. Of being thankful for the powers that be or nature for providing what is needed ot sustain life through the winter. Those in four-season climates understand the importance of the harvest more powerfully than most as it means the difference between life and death.  Whether this is faith or simply a trust in the cycle of life is a good question.

Meditation:

I think a lot of this festival begins a time when the virtue of industriousness is on the one hand needed to bring in the harvest and the other hand celebrated because the rewards of this harvest are coming in. The fruit of one’s labor leading to the continued survival of yourself and your family and community is celebrated. Important things indeed.

Theology:

I suppose there is a lot of spiritual things connected with the harvest that our world of modern science has explained and allowed us to do even more and be even more fruitful. The spiritual side of this seems to be important to remember as well. To be grateful to those that do grow and harvest for the rest of us is something to be considered.  There is a connection between everyone at some point and it is often not noted because we never see one another. But in then I can eat because someone else took the time to grow and harvest the food I pay for is central.  Human connection is a theological concept.

Spirituality:

I am continually humbled by the world I live in. Life is both strong and fragile. I am reminded not only of life but death.  Things harvested are in the end dead but the give life to others as they are consumed. There is s simple truth to this that is embraced.

Conclusion:

While not a great blot or festival – Haustblot is a good moment to pause and reflect. it a good moment to take a deep breath as fall begins and then get about the business of doing what needs to be done to prepare for winter.

This completes the first time I have gone through the cycle of pagan holidays. focusing on the Vikings as much as possible.  I am going to continue doing this as each year I feel my opinions of these things will of course change. It has been very interesting this first time though and I plan on getting deeper into things each time I go through it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“My Spiritual Symbolism: Valknut with Rune Circle” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

My struggles with magic aside, I do believe in the power of symbols. Not magical power per se but more of a power to encapsulate thoughts, concepts, and ideas into a single pattern or image.  For me, these become very powerful focuses that keep me steady in my thoughts and philosophy.  They also remind me of what is spiritually important.

I adopted the valknut as my replacement for the cross right after leaving Christianity.  I had become fairly certain that at least the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru were going to be my new moral code, so I looked for something to symbolize that and the symbol of the Valknut was almost always present in any website I was studying at the time and so made it my own.  The fact that it is connected with Odin and death rituals (burial) only solidified this.  The Grey Wayfarer (me) often wears a pendant of the valknut around his neck on a chain.  Mine also has a circle of runes around it like in the picture above.

Both the valknut and the runes are mysteries as to their full meaning.  Much has been lost thanks to the invasion of Christianity and the subsequent purge that followed them of all things pagan. The valknut and runes apparently were too pagan to find their way to being incorporated into Christian worship and so were actually expunged.  A few examples survive and so what we know is very little.  The valknut is associated with Odin and burial because we find them on gravestones.  Runes are everywhere but they don’t seem to be about language although some modern pagans have made it so.  From a scholar’s point of view, they are largely a mystery as well.

What this meant for me is that I was left to give this symbol and the runes around it their own meaning. So…

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I am a deistic humanistic pagan.  First and foremost I fall on the side that says while religions are bunk and made up for the most part, I don’t dismiss the idea of a supreme being, beings or force of the universe being a real possibility. However, I believe that the only real source of overcoming my own and other human problems is myself and other humans. I am pagan because my spirituality basically draws me back to the spiritual roots of my ancestors. It is far more about heritage than religion for me.  The valknut and runes are a good symbol of that as both call to my Germanic and (hopefully) Scandinavian roots.  It is at least the faith and spirituality of my own spirit regardless of biological genetics.

Meditation:

I suppose my meditation times that I have used the valknut and rune circle are the ones that have given both new meanings for me. Firstly the nine sides of the three triangles became representative of the Nine Noble Virtues.  Later, the nine formed the three triangles of the Higher Virtues of love, Justice, and Wisdom.  All of them are interlocked and the three triangles, if you look closely, cannot be separated fro meach other.  It thus forms a single spiritual path of following virtue, a single symbol – the valknut.  It also because of its connection to Odin serves as a reminder of the finality of life. Virtue is the only thing that gives that life value.

The rune circle around it is all 24 known runes. In many ways, it symbolizes the mysteries of the knowledge of the universe to me. By following the path of virtue, I begin to understand these mysteries better.

Theology:

One of those mysteries is the divine.  Part of that, to be honest, is to assess whether such divine entity or entities exist.  As a diest, I fall on the side of agnosticism that says we don’t know enough to dismiss the idea of the divine, so I believe more in its possibility than it is not possible.  I will give the atheists their due in saying they could very well be right, but at the same time, I don’t think I can myself close my mind, heart, and body off to the idea that a creator or creators exist. It seems too ‘dogmatic’ of ‘fundamentalist’ to me so to speak.

The issue then is to find meaning either way – for me, this is the following the path of virtue as a means to coming to better understandings of the world around me and perhaps finding the answers I seek.  I am a pilgrim searching for truth, wherever I find it.  I am the Grey Wayfarer

Spirituality:

I find spirituality in Virtue.  Virtue allows me to connect with myself, other people and the universe and all it contains. How can one not be connected when following after virtue? For me, this symbol reminds me that part of understanding the universe requires connections.  The path is what connects and virtue is the path.  In meditation, this symbol has proven to be the best focus when I am looking to understand this connectivity to everything else.

Conclusion:

As I meditate more on this, I am sure more things will come to mind.  I have plans to make my meditation time more ‘ritualized’ in that I may have other foci and even some candles and incense.  Regardless, the valknut and rune circle will always be central to it. The centerpiece if you will regardless of what becomes my first meditation altar.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Magic – A Skeptical Pagan’s Perspective” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

In the Pagan world, magic takes a lot of different forms.  In my pagan world of the Asatru, with its Viking heritage, there is a belief in magic.  It is full of shamanism as well as the simple idea of using consciousness to affect the world through the will of the practitioner.  Because in Norse mythology everything has a spirit, then the issue was influencing the will of those spirits to line up with the will of mage.  Most notably the magic of the Vikings seems to have focused on the idea of knowing and fate.  For one to decern the fate of a person and thus decided the best course of action was the goal of Viking magic.  This particular form of magic was called seidr.  The Vikings had other forms but this seems to have been their magical passion if you will.

I freely confess, pagan that I am, I am skeptical of magic.  It stems from seeing the value in science, but as some of the writings on magic point out, the end goals and means of science and magic are very different.  I can get that, so I am not closed off to the possibility of magic.  My problem is my own personal history as a Pentecostal Christian has soured me to the whole idea as what many times was considered ‘miracles’ was either very explainable as mass manipulation and psychology or straight up huckster fraud.  The idea of the divine powers reaching into the lives of people I can accept, I just think that the people who claim to do this need to be scrutinized with a very skeptical eye.

So what about magic in the real world?

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I can believe that the powers that might be would interact with the rest fo us humans. The question I have is whether this is necessary all the time. If in some ways this might be presumptuous on our part to even ask for it.  I start the Pagan Pulpit out with the following paragraph:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

I want to tell you I sincerely mean this. I am not going to presume on any friendship and that includes the divine powers. Faith that they exist – yes.  Presuming that they want to help me – no.

Meditation:

As I have meditated on this question of magic. my biggest personal struggle is that of prayer.  Mostly, as I look at Chrisitan prayer, I see it is talking to one’s self and interestingly enough part fo the self that we actually define as God.  You will find that Christians in general view this ‘God’ very differently.  Everyone has their own very unique perspective on who this person is and interestingly enough shaped in each persons own image of what they want.

Prayer to me seems presumptuous in and of itself.  But self-talk I see the need for as we all do it and those that pay attention to it often are more well adjusted. The real question I suppose is theological.

Theology:

Theologically speaking, the question comes back for me as to whether the powers are benevolent, malevolent or indifferent to the whole question of good and evil. Why would they help us if we ask? Can they be trusted?

Even in the mythologies, I know those are good questions.  Odin, for instance, has a higher purpose in mind and so will not hesitate to sacrifice you his devotee to that cause.   Loki certainly can’t be trusted.  Better not to pray at all and thus leave the whole magic of life to living as virtuous as possible for your own sake. Virtue has its own form of magic as do stories.

Spirituality:

My spiritual side longs for what magic could do, but my skeptical side says better to leave it alone. To practice the more subtle magic of living life as a follower of the Nine Noble Virtues and to tell tales as a Skald.  Bring the more common magic of virtue and story to people.  To not presume on the powers that be, but rather be self-reliant and work hard to attain that I wish.  Magic seems like a dangerous short cut.

Conclusion:

I guess I can leave my fellow pagans with some questions.  Is magic something you practice and why do you do it? Is my skepticism a good thing or a bad one?

For now, I will follow virtue and tell stories of life and the universe. It seems to be a safe path. I still don’t see a good reason to take the short cut of magic.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thor: Thunder God” (Asatru – Part 9) – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Thor’s Thunder” – Nordic Style Folk Music

Meditation:

Image may contain: 1 person, beard, text and outdoor

If there is one change in my life that is true, respect is now earned. I don’t just give it to anyone and I don’t care if you are in authority or power, you have to earn it by your character, not because you demand it.

Text:

See the source image

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: 

Odin might be king of the gods of Norse mythology, but Thor is definitely the favorite son of Asgard.  Odin was a favorite of rulers and sages, but Thor is the god of the common man and warrior.  He is the bringer of rain and his voice thunders like the thunder he controls.  There is probably no more famous weapon in Norse mythology than Mjolnir his hammer which is considered the most important weapon that will be used in the defense of Asgard.

In mythology, Thor is a red-bearded powerful man who can drink, fight and eat better than anyone.  He often travels with Loki and they have several adventures together.  His cart is pulled by two goats, which can be eaten each night and if all their bones recovered can be resurrected the next day.  He is today and back then the most popular of the Norse deities.

Heathens, followers of Asatru and many others can be seen wearing the hammer of Thor. This hammer to many represents the heathen faith. To the modern heathen, he represents strength, courage, and life as the giver of rain and healing.  He is often invoked in oaths because unlike Odin, only his enemies need to fear him.  Prayers to him are often for rain and strength.

For me, you will find me wearing one of my two thor’s hammers pendants on a chain around my neck every Thor’s Day as a gesture of respect to all heathens and pagans.  I like Thor and his stories are some of the most inspiring and entertaining. He interaciton with Loki very humorous at times.  For those looking for an example of courage in th face of tremendous challenges, look no further than Thor.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: 1 person, beard, text and outdoor

Never give up.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Bringing it All Back to Center” (Plus Blog Notes) – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day

In closing this out I have two things to talk about at length. One is bringing everything back to the center. Secondly, I have been meditating on blog changes for the coming year as well. Today is the 342 straight day of this blog with at least one post a day. 23 to go and another goal achieved for the year.

Back to Center:

With all this meditation on my various identities: Primary, Secondary, and Side, I wanted to get back to the central purpose of it all. The simple question is: Who am I? There is no single answer. After all this meditation, I can confidently conclude that as a human being I have many facets and I will thus have several identities. Everything comes together into this one central person that is me.

The one polarity shift in identity has been to view myself as primarily a writer and secondarily as anything else that will pay the bills better and allow for writing. This means taking writing seriously and making it my main occupation, which means writing a lot more and doing things that go along with it like reading and research.

My job search can now be even more open than it was before. My main issue here is to find something I can enjoy, will be better than what I have now financially and professionally, and will still give me time to write. I don’t what this is yet and as a wayfarer of life that actually is kind of exciting to me.

My side identities are about me and improving me. They are also about enjoying life so I think that I will be always looking at them. The biggest shift this last year was spiritual, notably that my Primary identity of a Christian pastor is truly scrapped and the spiritual side of me is a side identity which doesn’t mean it is not important, it just means that it is a part of my life, not the most dominant thing anymore. I actually find myself more at peace because of this. Being other people’s spiritual guru just doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

Blog Notes:

This change in primary identity means some changes to the blog and to my disciplines. Writing the non-fiction book and novel now are more primary to me. Blogging needs to be a good writing exercise and provide my public face. Listing off the projects on this blog:

Journal Posts: I need to get back to doing these every week. I have noticed that on the weeks I do not do them, I lose focus. These three posts a week keep me centered on my goals and provided good reminders of the values I hold dear.

The Pagan Pulpit: I think sometimes I write these for me most of all. It helps me learn Asatru a little better each week and reminds me of each week’s spiritual journey. They are a good weekly milestone if you will.

Of Wolves and Ravens: Having a philosophy post once a week has been good as a more in-depth review of my philosophy of life. It has a practical edge to it that I like and that keeps me thinking.

Odin’s Eye: I like the change I made this week to be more open about this and focus more on my spiritual life as it stands instead. Time to move on from the past and embrace the future.

Crossing Bifrost: I have put this one on hold a lot. The more I got into Norse mythology, the more I knew I was not qualified to write about it. I was using it as a learning platform but I still have much to learn on a lot of subjects before I delve into writing on it again.

The Grey Wayfarer (serial): This little fantasy serial I have closed, mostly because I think it will make a good novel idea once I know Norse mythology a lot better.

Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury: This one is coming to an end. Time to move on and this series kind of holds on to the past a little. I am thinking of a few more posts to round out the story and it will come to an end.

The Rabyd Skald Posts: These are my posts that talk about issues I am facing in more detail. The Grey and The Wayfarer versions are more in-depth times when I am struggling with The Grey. I also use these to talk about the blog and writing so they come up a few times a month. They are not really scheduled but they form something I do regularly.

Skald Tales and Poems: My poetry is here and there is an open slot for short stories I have yet to use but I think I will soon. This is the short writing projects page and mostly so far it si poems. Poems are a bit of a mixed bag for me personally. On the one hand, they help me release emotion to the universe, on the other hand, they remind me of Miss Salty and that can trigger some things I don’t want to feel sometimes. Hopefully, as time goes on the memories in writing a poem will be more positive.

The Skald’s Lyre: Me talking about the music in my life. I like to do this because it can provide a good self-examination of what I ma communicating outside of writing. Music fills the gaps for me in that regard.

The Book of Rabyd: Largely finished, this project is a collection of sayings and principles I follow. It is always a work in progress as I leave it open to add other things, but the main work on it is finished.

Freya’s Chambers: New. Like brand new. Mostly this is my viewpoint on sex and sexually related issues. It is a new project as my world view is changed from Christian to Pagan so it has an effect on this. I also tend to bring in the idea that moral busybodies need to be told to go away.

Space Tramp: Also new but I suspect when it ends I will hed down another road with a different role-playing game so I might eventually put this under the overall title of Roleplaying Fan Fiction where it will be one writing project among many designed to let the dice challenge me in my writing.

There is a lot to unpack and I have some other things to add but the main thing is there is no shortage of things to write on. I am going to raise the stakes going into the new year and basically write journal posts like have been doing but on those days and another post will drop as well,

1) I want to continue the Viking / Norse Mythology Theme some more when appropriate

2) and I need to restructure how the week is laid out with that in mind as well.  I just think it is weird that Odin’s Eye drops on Thor’s Day when Woden’s Day Makes more sense.

3) I need to be more consistent with my fiction practice.

My solution is to restructure the week as follows:

Sol’s Day – The Pagan Pulpit

Mani’s Day – Journal: Foundational Virtues, Of Wolves and Ravens

Tyr’s Day – Fiction Post

Woden’s Day: Journal: Business Virtues, Odin’s Eye

Thor’s Day: Fiction Post

Frigg and Freya’s Day: Journal: Self Virtues, Freya’s Chambers

Sif’s Day: The Skald’s Lyre or Skald Tales and Poems.

The Rabyd Skald Posts will drop when needed and I am putting Crossing Bifrost on hold until I have studied the subject of Norse mythology better. This actually only adds three posts by making the journal post days require another post. Look for the changes starting tomorrow.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Side Identities” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

A side identity is what a person is known for in certain particular contexts.  They are things that identify who you are but they are not the primary thing you are known for or the secondary one.  To me, they make up a part of who you are but do not encompass who you are.  My side identities are important parts of who I am but they are only who I am part of the time. Some of them are however known and are what is known about me.

Along with this are some that I want to have as side identities but I am still working on them. Things that will help with living my life better as a human being and supplement the primary and secondary things I am.

Weightlifter:

I think I have this side identity already.  I lift at the gym a lot and I have received compliments both at work and at the gym about how much I lift and how I look the part.  For me, this is in part about health and of course, a lot of nutritional elements go along with this.   I am a Paleo nutrition follower but that is the part of weightlifting and the healthy living that goes along with it.

Hiker:

I do want to do more hiking and more walking.  This is something I want to be a long term activity, but you know you have arrived at an identity people have of you when they start asking you advice about it.  I get that with weightlifting, but not hiking, Yet. I have a lot to learn and a lot to do here before this is a true side identity.

Reader/Scholar:

I guess in part I have some expertise that people like to ask about here.  I have read a lot and still read some.  My decision to be a writer primarily comes with an understanding that a required side identity is being a reader. I don’t probably read as much as I should and that needs to change.  That said, I have read enough that friends come to me and ask about stuff I know.

Pagan:

While I am a pagan in the sense I follow their virtues, I doubt very much people consider me a pagan yet.  I want to embrace this a little more fully as part of my cultural identity and an embracing of my cultural heritage. I suppose there is also an element of telling my former Christian identity to kiss my ass. But mostly it is about getting in touch with my past to give me spiritual strength.

There are a couple of others I am considering.  My daughter and I had a recent conversation about coffee. She wants to learn latte art, but my interest is the coffee itself.  I have never been one to drink the stuff but Paleo allows for coffee. It would be nice to find some form of coffee that my palate would actually like and doesn’t have any sugar in it.  It would be an interesting challenge to be a ‘coffee enthusiast’ because I have never really enjoyed a coffee before, but I am still meditating on it. I can see an image of me the reader sitting in my reading chair with a cup of good joe by my side so it is possible.

I am figuring some others will crop up as interests that complement other things. Almost all things are subject to the time you are inspired to give them and willing to sacrifice.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A New Pattern?” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day.    

Discussion:

When I started this blog, I intended Odin’s Eye to be about my spiritual journey.  Probably more about my change in spiritual viewpoint or vision.  The pattern I established was pretty straightforward at the time although I established it a month or two after I started:

Deism, Bible Problems, Humanism, Christianity Problems, Paganism, Religion Problems, The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side, My Theological Objections to Christianity Revisited.

I also established that on every pagan holiday, I would stop and comment that week on it.  That has been a fun journey in and of itself.  But it is also about to come full circle with the closing of the first year of this blog on September 30th.  Fall begins on September 22 and the pagan holiday is Mabon or for Vikings – Haustblót.  After that, the cycle starts again on October 1st.  I intend to continue to talk about pagan holidays but I want to get as truly Viking as I can the second time around.

Outside this though, I have had a pretty good debate running with myself about changing the pattern of the posts for Odin’s Eye.  Most notably do I want to go through the whole Chrisitntity issues again?  I am thinking of saving all that for a book or two, so what really is the purpose of Odin’s Eye? Well, it is about spirituality and my spiritual journey. At the same time, it is a place to pose spiritual questions to myself and perhaps you the gentle reader.  I guess the main thing is to stop talking about the spiritual past and embrace the spiritual present and look to the spiritual future.

My first step in revising the pattern was to eliminate the negative in a lot of ways and also to get rid post types that go over old ground.   This leaves:

Deism, Humanism, Paganism, The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side

The more I thought about it though, the whole deism and humanism questions are pretty settled for me and boil down to two fundamental truths. 1) I hold the possibility of divine power or powers, and 2) I believe that to solve human problems, humans are going to have to do it themselves.  The powers might help or might not, better to be self-reliant first.  I am not sure I really need to discuss these anymore with myself.  I side very much with enlightenment thinking for my rational and more practical side. But eliminating these two posts leaves me with only two:

Paganism, The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side

I don’t think that is sufficient enough of a rotation to keep me off my soapboxes.

It is really the whole Asatru and Pagan side I struggle with more. Getting a grip on the wisdom and intuition side of things that involve is the struggle now.  It is the nature of this struggle I would rather talk about now.

If I go the spirituality and paganism route the list of topics changes dramatically and gets quite long actually.  The thing is that some of my other post types handle a lot of this but what lies outside on the fringe where Odin’s Eye can help me come to a better understanding of these issues. I began to realize after while this topic is so big, and for me largely unexplored, there is really no way to establish a pattern.

So I am going to do something uncharacteristic for me.  Be open each week to any topic with only the boundary of it has to be something spiritual that is not necessarily covered by other things I do on the blog. I short these topics are going to come more from my times of meditations than a rational pattern that I simply follow.  I am opening myself up once a week to letting the topic be spiritual in nature and not chosen so much as it becomes an interest through meditation.

I am going to remove one filter for the Eye and replace it with another. Religion needs to go as it is negative in a sense, filtering out the religious aspects of things was a part of looking through the eye.  I no longer seek to do that, but discover the fuller spiritual truth of something.  I am going to replace religion with meditation.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

When I put any subject through the filter of faith, what I am asking at that point is what I believe about that subject?  The introduction tells people what I know about a particular subject, but faith is an exploration of what I believe about it. The idea is to set up where I am, then the other three filters follow which will possibly change that belief.

Meditation:

Meditation is the first filter.  It is calming my mind and opening up to what the powers, universe, whatever might inspire me to think about that topic.  Words, questions, thoughts, etc. that come from my times of meditation on the subject.  Then asking how these affect my beliefs about it.  It going to require me to keep my paper journal handy during every meditation session, but I think it will be worth it.

Theology:

Once I get to this question it is more about how this topic influences my understanding of the divine. Simple but a necessary question for me as someone who still practices theology. For me, the delving into the spiritual side of things is motivated in part by theology and understanding the divine.

Spirituality:

This is putting everything in a context filter.  How is my overall understanding of spirituality affected by this now?  Have my beliefs about this subject changed due ot putting it through my spiritual filters? What is my overall spiritual viewpoint now?  It is the bringing it altogether filter.

Conclusion:

I, of course, will have some concluding remarks about each subject and I might pose a few questions for you the gentle readers that might have a greater understanding of certain subjects I am struggling with. A good post wrapup will be what I am looking for here.

I am hoping these changes will be effective in helping all of us understand the spiritual side of life better.  Of Wolves and Ravens is about philosophy, but Odin’s Eye is about Spirituality and as such needs to have more spiritual methods of finding what to talk about.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Secondary Identity: ?” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day!

I am becoming very certain that my primary identity being a writer is solid the more I think about it.  Now the question of secondary identity or identities begins to present itself. It is a big question mark but it is made clearer by the simple fact I now can see it is something I do to make money and live not as my primary thing.

That, however, does not tell me what it should be but perhaps what I need to be is open to the possibilities instead of looking for certainty. Perhaps there is still this need to be meditatively open to what lies ahead and let things run their course as far as what I should be open to being seeing that this issue is not what compliments my writer career not the other way around.  It means that certain things need to be in place.

  1. I need time to write so the job I get must be not so time-consuming that I can’t write every day.
  2. I need something that pays well so I am not eating beans and rice if writing does not go well. I have lived too long to not have plans B, C to the end of the alphabet.
  3. It should be something that compliments writing if possible.

I don’t really want to write things down at this point as even possibilities. I don’t even want to brainstorm because I want to find this out by being open and meditating on it.

Now, I want to be clear that I will still be applying for jobs that I qualify for.  The issue at this point is not trying to direct this thing and be open to whatever does present itself. That said being proactive means looking for job opportunities and applying for them. But this might open my horizons as to applying for more things I might not have thought of as possibilities.  The issue now is to be open and available to any idea that will meet my criteria.

All that said, I still am meditating on Identity because Primary and Secondary aside, everything comes together in overall identity.  I am one me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Primary Identity: Writer” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Mani’s Day

In the Last Rabyd Skald, I basically stated that I needed to probably do some meditations on who I am.  It is a question I have not been avoiding but struggling with since my departure from my former role as minister and Christian.  I would say the Chrisitan part being replaced by “Deistic Humanistic Pagan” has been pretty solid and that identity has not been hard to grab ahold of so much as the implications of that change are still something I am coming to terms with on a daily basis.  The real problem is my role as minister being replaced by what?

For a while, I have had this idea of being a business person of some sort and being a writer on the side.  It is a practical choice because money is a real thing that you need to live life. I also have to deal with the fact the ministry has left me broke and without any retirement to speak of, so there is a need to make some money to make up for that. But that is a rational decision and to be blunt only listens to one of my ravens – Reason.  What about Wisdom? It also brings up the question of will my wolves be satisfied with such a role? Will I truly be getting what I need or want?

So my meditations have turned inward.  What is the call of my heart and what is the course that is wisest as far as encompassing my whole being?

I have to give a shout out to a fellow blogger from the other side of the world (the internet is an amazing place isn’t it) who on my last post on this issue wrote that perhaps I should simply ask the universe and wait to see what happens. You can check her out at Myst Nokomis.  I know I have found her observations interesting and at times inspiring. She is actually a blogger that I read regularly.

My conception of what she said in my mind is a little different but I get what she means and so I said to myself.  “Perhaps it is time to just silence myself in meditation and listen.”

Oddly enough the first thought that struck me is one word “Writer”.  Now the trick to being open in meditation is not to recoil at the thoughts that come to mind.  I have often said I am a writer but I have always placed it secondary to what other things I am pursuing.  The thought I had in that meditation session was that perhaps I have this backward.  That ultimately I am a writer first and something else second to pay the bills.  That what I should be focusing on is my writing and then focussing on an occupation that is complementary to that. Something that harmonizes with being a writer, not making my writing harmonize with something else.  Writing becoming the melody of my life and what other things I do becoming harmony to use a musical analogy.

I think I might be on to something as this feeds my wolves and it seems a wiser course of action.  It still has rationality to it, because if end up doing something I hate, I will not make progress in it. Writing has always been a love and something I do to express myself fully.  People who meet me personally, never get the full story as I pull back into myself.  I have trust issues born from painful experiences.  When I write, that inhibition leaves. Like all INFJs it is my artistic/non-verbal way of expressing myself that is true.

The main issue then is to be about the business of being a writer and that involves a few things but most notably setting aside times to write above and beyond the blogging that are substantial  Like at least an hour or two a day. I guess what I should start to get in my mind is writing on this blog is kind of my writing warm-up.  Then its time to be working on some projects for publication.

I have long mentioned I am a big fan of the science fiction author Robert A. Heinlein.  In the book Grumbles from the Grave, a letter where he answered the question of why he wrote is preserved.  His three-fold answer was:

  1. Make Money
  2. Entertain Readers
  3. Make People Think

As I have meditated on this over the years in think he had the right of it.  The first priority of a writer is how to support himself and his family by writing, the other two are means to that because if no one likes what you write then they won’t buy it.  If they buy what you write you won’t really be impactful unless you throw something in that makes people think, it leads to long-term success.  This is the right priority, any other way is just high minded idealism that won’t amount to much in all three categories.

This change will require more meditation, but I think I am on the right path, it certain resonates with my wolves and ravens philosophy; better than some career, then a writing career as secondary.  I think this needs to be switched and then I can look at my identity from the proper perspective.

Just a blog note to end things: there will be a post later today for my serial: Space Tramp, but I might be doing these meditation posts in place of journal posts this week.  My identity has become an important issue and I want to make sure I get this right.  So you might see two posts today, Odin’s Day and Frigg and Freya’s Day.  One a post like this at 10 am and the other some fiction writing at 4 pm. At least for this week.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Taking A Few Deep Breaths” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day

These last two weeks have been interesting and challenging. I was in the doctor’s office on Thursday and as always a little anxious. I was there for my routine checkup and consultation. But as I waited I did some thinking.  I have had the following experiences this last couple of weeks.

  1. I have had more denials from potential employers in the last ten days than in a couple months previously.  It’s like all the applications I filed came back with nulls.
  2. At my current employer, I was passed over for a job and it was given to someone with no experience whatsoever.
  3. I have had another bout with The Grey and while it was not severe. The cause was known, however.
  4. I have had a doctor’s appointment and while a lot of the news was good, there was some news that reminded me I am getting older.   And that sucks by the way.
  5. The End of August marks one year that my wife and I have been back together after our separation last summer and that has lead to some very reflective moments about my marriage.

This post is about taking a few deep breaths and looking at each of these a little reflectively and spiritually.

Deep Breath. 

I guess I have to say the whole job situation has caused me to look at the basic fact that I have not really discovered what my new identity is. It is in-process both practically and spiritually and so there is that.  Mostly though the practical concerns will start to become forefront issues in the next couple of months I don’t find something better. For now, though my meditations center on who am I?

Deep Breath.

The decision at work at first angered me and then I just felt disrespected. It was like really, could have slapped all of us from the department any harder, especially those of us that work hard over here and have management experience?  Then I took a breath, realized that this is not my place, I am in my heart looking to move on to something better, so I might as well get about it.

Deep Breath.

My bought with The Grey recently was brought about by a song played on the radio at work. It was my song to Miss Salty and it triggered the whole mess of feelings involved in that.  One thing they never seem to mention about being empathic is that emotions experienced in certain situations stay and lay dormant until something triggers them and then there you are all over again. Which triggers a whole lot of meditation on the problem.  My most recent meditations have led me to a question: What exactly is The Grey?

Depression?  It involves depression but there is that switch that goes off to protect me from the sadness so I feel nothing. In that state, am I depressed or something else entirely?  I think I might have had an introspective moment because of this that might lead to an awakening.   I hope so.

Deep Breath.

I took a lot of those deep breaths before I met my new doctor. I just passed 50 so the protocol becomes: ‘You need this test done, you need to start this medication as a diabetic.’  I am like – what is this malevolent magic that took place where all this was unnecessary at age 49 and 364 days but one day later, a whole list of evil fairies have comes and makes you vulnerable to a whole new crops of shit. I hope my new doctor is a good salesman and explains things well, because if you don’t sell me – Yeah, fuck that shit.

The problem is that all my health indicators indicate I am healthier than I was last year, but somehow my medicines need to be increased and new treatments engaged for possible problems down the road. I hate American medicine, they either engage in damage control after the fact or their definition of preventative medicine is purely put more pills in your body. Not my thoughts on how to approach my health.

Deep Breath.

I don’t take too much for granted when it regards my marriage.  Our reconciliation is in truth a work in progress. I simply acknowledge here that It still might not work, something I started when we first decided to go down this path to my family and something I remind myself of right now. I want it very much to work, don’t get me wrong. But I also acknowledge the struggle in my heart between how much do I have to give up as far as my personal happiness to stay married? I shouldn’t be looking at it that way should I, but I am, and that is very troubling to me.

  1. My wife and I have very different values now.  That is basically because I ‘fuck it’ to my former faith and she has not.  What is important to me is very different than what is important to her.  And it is growing more divided.
  2. Our goals are very different and trying to find common ground either involves a lot of compromises or straight up, from my perspective, me giving up a lot of my goals entirely.  I am growing weary of having to give up what I desire simply to make my family and friends happy, and that is exactly the state of mind I was in that caused me to walk away a year ago. Not good.
  3. I now know what aspects of a relationship with a woman I am missing and still desire. It creates a longing in my heart that I cannot seem to shake.

Deep Breath.

I think it is time to look within.  Discover who I am again and out of that might flow a lot of answers.  It is time to awaken and to take that first breath of who I am now.  It is time to find that person and become them.

Deep Breath.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!