“Marriage Rights” – Freya’s Chambers – Equality

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Discussion:

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Now, this is a pretty large umbrella and I first want to begin with the issue of what marriage is.  While religious pundits would argue that it is an institution from God, I would argue that all religions seem to have it or something like it and some of these relationships predate some religions if archeology and scholarship are to be believed.

Marriage itself had always been a cultural l institution and it can be argued whether it is even a good one.  As a libertarian, I question why it even needs to exist.  There is nothing done in a marriage relationship that cannot be done without the marriage.  In the end, it is about legal obligation and people want to put a romantic spin on it using either religion or calling it an expression of love.  As if somehow by getting married you create some more love than already existed. I think there is a lot of nice touchy-feely to the idea of marriage that keeps wedding planners and officiants making money.

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In any case, if we are going to have it I don’t know why the government is involved in the first place.  Yes, it makes it legal but that could also be accomplished by two people going to a lawyer and hashing out a relationship contract. Does the marriage license simply do this in a faster convenient way? If so, I doubt the legalities would be considered equality from a sex point of view, particular in dower states where a woman basically gets half the guys stuff simply by saying ‘I do’ and not such condition exists the other way. The point is those that get married under a license, at least in the United States have conditions of that marriage that they would probably not like if they knew them.

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Mostly though marriage survives because of shame and stigma when you are not in certain situations.  The two biggest ones being that not being married is somehow odd and if a woman has a child out of wedlock.  Practically, neither of these stigmas make any sense. As people recognize the bullshit of these stigmas, marriage is indeed taking a hit. I can speak from personal experience that no legal contract, rings or vows will keep you faithful and true nor does an increased level of love result from getting married.

But until marriage is seen for what it is we are going to have it and the state is going to get involved so how should they act when people who normally don’t get married want to do so.  The secular answer is ‘equal protection’ not a restriction of rights.  Justice is supposed to be blind, so she should not be able to judge through the lens of religious bias or social convention.  She should not see that it is a couple of men or a couple of women or two men and one woman or one man and two women or any other relationship that people want to enter into.  The issue is the protection of rights, not to control what marriage is defined as.  That should be left to the people in that relationship; not the state, or even the church.See the source image Of course, if it were up to me, I would abolish marriage licenses and leave the definition of it to the people involved and if they want it to be a legal relationship – go see an attorney and draw up the contract. If you want a religious ceremony go see the officiant but the state in no way should be involved in the first place. In my mind, this is the only way to achieve equality.  As long as the government is involved people can gain control and determine the definition of what marriage is.  This is what causes inequality.

People will always try to control the government so they can control the agenda of marriage.  The best way to avoid this is to give the government no power at all other than to enforce contracts, which it already has through the courts, and provide protection for the people who enter those relationships of their own free will in their own way.

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My two cents.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Njord – God of Sea and Wind” (Asatru – Part 18) – The Pagan Pulpit

Happy Sol’s Day!

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: Eivør Pálsdóttir: ‘Tròdlabùndin’

This live performance of this song is done in a fjord which is fitting given the god of the sea who was married to the goddess of the mountains – Skadi.  Although they never really consummated their marriage.

Mediation:

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This is still one of my favorite poems

Text: 

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If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon:

As one would expect, the naval culture of the Vikings would have a god of the sea.  Njord – god of wind, fire and the sea seems to be laking is stories but I imagine not in veneration in the old days of the Vikings.  He is also one of Vanir hostages like Freya and Freyr who are his children.  He was invoked probably regularly for fair weather and a fair journey and success every time the Vikings took to the sea for any reason.

The Geneology of the gods gets confusing sometimes but Njord’s first wife is either unnamed or Nerthus but she is only named in passing by a roman writer in the first century and doesn’t have any other source.  We do know he did marry later Skadi from her choosing him by looking at his feet.  The marriage was never happy or consummated however as the two are very different.

There really is a lack of worship in modern times of Njord.  Probably due to ot the fact that far fewer people are people of the sea.  Asatru gives him veneration but it seems almost casual even with our source Paxton.  He is one of the gods, but his story is limited.

Of course, from a religious point of view, gods and goddesses tend to be popular when people live in their sphere of influence.  Perhaps today you might see a pilot of a plane invoke Njord being the god of wind as well, but the sea-going sailors and raiders of old are long gone. There is really less reason to invoke him now. Unless you view him as a god of traveling in any other medium but land. Not a bad god, just not invoked as much because of the change in the world.

For me, Njord’s story is also light.  The fact he was the guy with the most beautiful feet in Asgard says something and is reflected in his children as they are both considered young and beautiful.  The marital problems are not anger based but the product of being two different people which I find interesting.  Neither one could really get along in each other’s home so they part purely on practical grounds and remain good friends. A lesson that does spin around in my brain.  Sometimes a match isn’t a good one and just needs to be recognized as such.  Being a wayfarer myself, I would have little need myself to invoke him as I prefer my feet on solid ground.

At this point, I am leaving my consideration of the gods and goddesses in my continued learning about Asatru.  There are many more I could do, but they are minor.  I am now going to shift this series to Asatru practice and spiritual understanding.

Parting Thought:

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I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Pack Mentality” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 16

Happy Thor’s Day!

Rogue Wizard’s Journal – September 10th, 2019

Well, it’s been a helluva three days.  Time to write a report of sorts so I can collect my thoughts about it all.

Amber got better and after a day, she had no symptoms of lycanthropy at all.  Apparently, our ‘sexual healing’ sessions have worked and I have transferred my antibodies to her.  Not that we have stopped the sessions.  What is it about sex that we human beings find so addicting given its two potential consequences are so long term.  Of course, now that this Trois love triangle is complete, it actually has had a few Trois sessions of lovemaking.  I don’t know about this sometimes, but we all seem happy about it and Amber is back up being who she was before.

This whole thing has made me realize that the cure for lycanthropy is right in the whole sexual magic thing.  In mage circles, it could literally spread by sexual activity.  I doubt however it would happen because it is outside the box thinking and The council has never been good at that but also it involves a much more open definition of relationships that are emotional and loving. It would require a lot of polyamory and even jumps across those boundaries of sexual mores.

The other issue is where the werewolf came from and we didn’t have to look very far for that one. Lunette shrunk down and put on her leaf clothes and took her tiny dagger and using her illusion magic, did a scout run. For my part, while she was away I set up my wards both on the cabin and sauna bathhouse as well as the path between the two. Anything gets too close and not only would it go off like an alarm in my head but some of my wards turned the crosser into fireballs if they were magical in nature.

This has been good because it has set all of our minds at ease about being surprised again.  So the sauna bath, skinny dipping has resumed.  The sauna bath is now getting used for more than bathing activity now but still we get clean in the end and cooled off in the lake before coming back to the cabin.

We are still all on edge a little.  The werewolf has done one thing for sure and that is it makes us a little more aware of what is going on around us.  Today though Lunette returned from her scouting run, and after taking off her leaves, grows back to normal size.  She was back a little early and that’s when she reported that she found the lair of the werewolves.  A little cabin of their own about five miles away.  She figured there were still five of them.  Most of them were sleeping when she had been there, but there had been one on guard duty and being a werewolf was quite alert.

We now know where they are, and our own little pack is ready for some wolf hunting. I like wolves normally and werewolves, when they are first werewolves, are still pretty much themselves. It the slow rot of the human side of them that makes them dangerous. Some can hold this off for decades but it is inevitable in the end that they become feral.

Our plan is to attack them tomorrow during the day.  This doesn’t necessarily make them weaker just werewolves are usually up all night because they are the moon’s children.  They stay up in the early and later parts of the day much like most people do with the night.  If we hit them in the middle of the day, the element of surprise might help us even the odds at first.  We are all in agreement about what needs to be done which is eliminate them.  We have our own pack mentality.

I have my concerns though.  This is going to draw attention. Attention that we don’t need.  However, if they discover where we are and that we killed one of their own, they will be out for blood.  Their pack mentality demands vendetta and revenge.  Better to attack them first than wait for them to attack us.

Hopefully, there will be another journal entry tomorrow.

Writer’s Notes: 

While I haven’t written on this, people might be asking me a personal question right about now.  Would you actually ever be a part of a polyamorous relationship?  The answer is ‘yes’. But not presently.  My wife and I are under vows which involve exclusivity which I honor because of my belief in Fidelity and Honor so I keep my vows based on this. Now understand as an atheist/agnostic type, the fact those vows were made before ‘God’ does not matter anymore to me,  What matters is my own word and keeping it as much as possible regardless when that word was given.  

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That said, as a libertarian and now free thinker, I think marriage and the whole licensing and vows things is both unnecessary and a con job.  It is mostly done for religious control reasons, legal reasons (which could be handled by a lawyer and a contract instead) and the states attempt to take rights from you and then make money licensing them back to you. That’s right folks, there is nothing that says I love and trust you like getting the state and religion to give their nod that it is Ok for you to be in a relationship with each other (sarcasm flag). Sorry, you can live with each other, have sex and have children and none of that requires a license or shouldn’t.  The commitment to each other thing is going to be what it is regardless of license, vows or rings.  

But getting back to the personal question, I think it is good for a person to get rid of things like jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to another person. It seems to me that you are getting closer to unconditional love when you do that.  If such love is even possible. So yes I would, but right now I am under my own virtues of honor and fidelity to love only one woman – my wife.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Scattered Grey Showers” -The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 21

Happy Sif’s Day

Of course in the middle of the triumph of achieving a goal, The Grey would have to make an appearance and the problem is it is not one single thing causing the issue but several scattered showers of shit I would rather not deal with; but there it is.  There have been all kinds of scattered Grey showers this week and I haven’t been able to control them all the time which has led to some sleepless nights and emotions that have been less than happy ones.

It actually started the day after I achieved my one-year blogging goal with the simple thought of – ‘yeah that’s great, but you still don’t have a better job yet.”  I hate moments like that because they seem to take all the joy of succeeding at something away from me in a second. I shell up and just exist. I need a new job it’s true, but blogging every single day without fail is an achievement,  I know and anyone who blogs knows it is. It’s just The Grey has a tendency to crop in after I have a high moment.

If this wasn’t enough, I am working one day and over the speakers, it becomes clear that they have at long last changed the loop of songs to something new.  Cool right?  Except that now twice a day it seems I hear the song I don’t want to hear.  “All of Me” by John Legend.  It’s not that I think it is a bad song, it’s damn skippy good.  It is also connected emotionally to Miss Salty in a very strong way and then the whole memories shit of that relationship comes up and I want to cry.  Yeah, 6’4″ 275 lbs. weightlifter crying at work.  So The Grey kicks in as a protective measure and I try to ignore the song.  But later catch me singing it and thinking about her. What the Fuck?  This is why I avoid this song in the first place, and now I can’t avoid it at times.

So, I finally get a day off and I go to bed the night before and I have a dream. Yeah, it’s about The Dirty Pig.  Nothing big or symbolic just him making fun of me and laughing. Him doing his thing of doing things for his own entertainment and throwing me under the bus to that end. I used to be able to control my dreams a little, but as I grow older that ability seems to be lost. I think I still have enough ability to keep the ‘night terrors’ I used to have a bay.  If they come back, that will not be good.

I wake up and then I had to get up for a bit.  Kind of alarmed my wife as it is unusual for me to let my insomnia get me out of bed. The whole extreme anger thing is high with him.  Hard to control.  But then there is my old friend/enemy – the Grey and I head back to bed and fall asleep.

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My personality type makes me emotionally intelligent.  Sometimes called ’empathic’ and it’s pretty high in me.  The curse is that strong emotions in others or in songs or from my past experiences get supercharged because of it.   The Grey has developed in me as a counter to that. When things get too negatively strong, it kicks in to keep me sane. Cool huh?  But the downside is I don’t give a shit about anyone else in those moments.  I have also noted that The Grey occurs more frequently when I am not taking care of myself as far as self-love.  Loving myself keeps the emotional balance better, but I have to really work at that as it is much more natural to help other people than myself.

The other defense is introversion, but that isn’t good for me either.  Part of self-love is receiving love and you can’t do that by yourself.  This what led to the problems of last year.  My wife was penciling me into her busy schedule and I wasn’t a priority.  The church was taking a lot out of me and not giving much back in terms of emotional support and school wasn’t the outlet for my attention like it had been.  Along comes Miss Salty who absolutely understood this and BAM – affair, breakup, getting fired, near divorce, life turned upside down.

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The problem is I am absolutely terrified of letting someone else in right now.  Miss Salty leaving me and The Dirty Pig betraying my trust and leading the other friends I had at the church to fire me have all given me current trust issues off the chart at times. I function all right with people, but let them into my life to love and be loved by them? – yeah, no thanks.  Got my family, a couple close friends and that is it.  My wife helps a lot, but we both have to work and she is extroverted so she has to get away from the apartment or she would go nuts.  That leaves me alone.

The other downside is I get along better with women than men.  Men are comrades in arms but it takes a self-confident guy to be a friend that I trust..  I always feel men are competing with me rather than trying to be a friend. If you are that insecure, yeah, I don’t like you; because I know you’re going to brag about shit in front of me and I don’t do that.  I don’t need to because I am pretty secure in my masculinity.  I don’t have to prove my manhood to anybody.  Only one other guy on the planet gets that right now and that is why we are best friends.  Most men can’t handle that so they shy away for me or our relationship is the joking sarcasm of guys doing the same job and dealing with the same shit.

So women are easier to get along with for me. You can imagine how this is a downside. Today in the western world, 1) showing a woman some attention, 2) understanding her emotions and 3) being self-confident in your own masculinity equals flirting. Like, it comes naturally to me and that has lead to being flirted with back in return more than once.  Pre-affair this was just fun and a way to play around that broke up the monotony of life.  Women made my life more bearable with this flirting with boundaries thing.

Post-affair?  You draw your own conclusions but I have some women now that it is purely professional much like I act with guys.  But my natural tendencies are still there and so subtle I don’t often realize I am doing it.  Getting close to another woman as a friend is just difficult and undesirable given recent events.

So, I am left with my one friend who lives far away who thankfully calls me every few days to check on me and my wife.  My wife and I get along and she now very much understands that you can’t just pencil me in to be my lover/friend.  I have to be much higher on the priority list than that because I am high maintenance when it comes to internal emotions.

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That’s the bitch about being INFJ.  Perfect personality my ass.  Yeah, from an external point of view, we function and don’t appear to need human interaction as much, we navigate emotional situations well outwardly and get along pretty much with anybody.  The price tag of those positives is high internal emotional costs. We pay every part of that cost ourselves for the benefits others enjoy.  No human is strong enough to take that all the time and so the trade-offs are: 1) We disappear for a while, 2) it gets to a point of overload, so we develop coping mechanisms (aka for me The Grey) or 3) Eventually we explode and do something tremendously stupid or risky.  It’s a ticking time bomb that needs to have minutes added to the clock by #1 and 2 or #3 is inevitable.

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On top of it all, today (October 5th, 2019) is the 25th anniversary of my father’s death. Yeah, that always is a grey shower no matter what I do.  I still miss him.

But I keep walking. Ravens on my shoulder and wolves at my feet. My coat and cloak pulled tight against the storm.  No rest for the weary or the wicked.  The showers will eventually end and I will be that much stronger for walking through them.

Still Walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Polyamory” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Orientation

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Discussion:

Polyamory is an interesting topic because it calls into question the need for societal mores in relationship to romance and sex. I have looked at the subjects of polygamy in the Bible and other related issues and came to the conclusion that from a Biblical point of view as long as everyone was in a marriage relationship and there was no homosexual activity, the Bible allowed for it. But now that I would say the Bible is out and I am looking for a more rational viewpoint of romance and relationships in sexual content.  Along these lines there are only three considerations: 1) Is is consensual, 2) have reasonable precautions been implemented, 3) Are the people involved emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle the relationship.  See the source image

Polyamory is pretty much about the consensual sex and romance with multiple partners.  Unlike many relationships that are multi individual in nature, this is out in the open and everyone agrees to it.  There is no ignorance and no one is being forced to be a part of it and no one is being placed in a position where they have to hide anything. It is really the way freedom should be in that there are no restrictions and no secrets. Polyamory passes the first test as that is the point of it – multiple consensual relationships without secrets.

The second issue is that of reasonable precautions being taken.  The two main issues are STDs and pregnancy.  In reading a majority of practitioners of polyamorous relationships the STD question is part of the reason they desire openness as far as no secrets and this means everyone gets to talk about it and when someone new is brought in they have a lot of questions and those in such relationship tend to stay in a prescribed circle because it is more than just them they are protecting.  In any case, the whole point is to establish a boundary and stay within it even though the relationship is polyamorous.  Letting someone in that boundary is a group decision and that’s a pretty effective protection against STDs.

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In the case of pregnancy what you read is pretty much either the whole group takes responsibility for the children if they happen or everyone agrees it is group decision as well to open up the possibility if one of the girls wants to get pregnant.  Until then the girl needs to be responsible for her own reproductive system and quite frankly in the modern western world, there is really no excuse for an unwanted pregnancy anymore.  There really isn’t and that means the statement “My body; my choice” comes with the counter – “Your choice, your responsibility.”  In any case, from the standpoint of polyamory, this is another group discussion.

If you are starting to get the idea that communication has to be very high in these kinds o relaitonships I would say ‘correct’.  It shows people in such relationships have to meet the final criteria of being emotionally mature enough to handle the fact that you are loved by many and love many.  Jealousy, control, and envy can’t really be present. You have to be happy when you are being loved by someone and when they love someone else. You have to love the love you receive and get and are also loving enough to let others love each other.

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More directly, you have to be Ok with the fact that the guy or gall you had sex with that night could be having sex with someone else in the relationship that morning.  While you could make love to another person that same morning. The sexual options are one of the main reasons that people get in these relationships and most of the polyamorous writers I have read don’t believe that humans are naturally monogamous.  That reality accepted they simply are being honest in the relationship they have entered.

I put this under sexual orientation for the simple reason that is it possible that some people are sexually oriented to be open lovers?  To be people who can love many people and make love to many people without being possessive or close-minded or even manipulative?  Is it possible that one sexual orientation is a ‘natural lover’?  I have to think it is possible and I can’t see any reason to think evil of such people because of it.

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I guess the honesty of this type of relationship is a step up by quite a bit from the sneaking around and cheating that is also polyamorous but no one but the cheater is aware of it. That is far more dangerous and disastrous than a group of people who say ‘let’s just set all the secrecy aside and be open about the fact all of us love more than one person here’.  It is the consent and agreement to the simple idea that some people are romantically and sexually capable of loving more than one person at once, and that is entirely OK and you don’t have to stop doing it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Frigg: Mother of Foresight”(Asatru – Part 12) – The Pagan Pulpit

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Prayer of Frigg” – Tjamtjala

Meditation:

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Text:

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If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: 

Finally, we hit Frigg.  Goddess of Love, Marriage, Fertility, Prosperity, Family, Civilization, Weavers, and Prophecy.  Wife to Odin and mother of Baldur.  Her appearances in the mythology are interesting in that she is an active player many times but her personality is never really developed leaving her with an air of mystery almost as mysterious as her husband. Frigg, however, is a powerful queen who acts when needed. Her loyalty and concern for her children – particularly Baldur is never questioned.

Of course, her lament for Baldur is more tragic because she foresaw his death but couldn’t stop it and then when the whole world wept for Baldur save, one so he remains in Helheim, becomes even sadder.  Her ability to see the fates of each person does not help her and the tragedy of losing a child. It must have been a story to remind mere human mothers that even Frigg despite all her powers, lost a son and grieved for him.

To the followers of Asatru, Frigg is queen as much as Odin is king. She is venerated for many reasons but if one wants to understand Odin better one needs to understand Frigg and Frigg seems to be Odin’s center.  His point zero, zero, zero if you will.,  It all starts and ends with her to him.  They actually seem to love each other deeply although sexual fidelity is not required it seems, as both of them were known to have sex with others.

One of the cool things is that one ritual is mentioned, whether it is new or old I found it interesting. Of placing a large single candle central and then twelve candles in a circle around it.  This is done to reflect Frigg’s twelve handmaidens or in some cases, as believed – her twelve different aspects. Either way, it demonstrates the complexity of a very mysterious and powerful goddess.

I find Frigg to be a puzzle that it is fun defining the edges of.  I have used her in a story and made her a kind-hearted but powerful mother/wife figure. I find this female representation both appealing and powerful.  The Nordic pantheon has a father figure in Odin that travels far and wide to protect what he cares for and a mother figure who protects hearth and home while he is away. They are never questioned when they sit together in their home. Definitely both strong feminine and masculine as a couple. She also has a strong story that emphasizes parental love.

Parting Thought:

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I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Werewolf” – Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 14

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal September 4th, 2019

A lot has happened this last week, but the events of today prompt me to turn to my journal here for encapsulating the big picture a little better. In summary form, we were attacked today by a werewolf.  Both Amber and I were bitten in the struggle.  No biggie for me as I am immune due to Mrs. W’s magic from a long time ago.  I have antibodies of a magical kind against lycanthropy.

Amber is a different story. I am a little distraught as Amber is starting to be someone who is important to me and some I am starting to love.  The bite for her could end up being full-blown lycanthropy.  If that happens our already complicated situation will get even more complicated.

After the skinny dipping discussion, which I relayed the last time, our lives had settled into a routine. This last week we only broke that to head into town again together.  We stocked up on food again, this time taking all three of our empty backpacks and each of us ended up carrying a couple bags in each hand.  This time we were seen by a couple more people which made me a little nervous.  I mean how many magical types do you think would be attracted to the relative seclusion of the wilderness of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan?  We got home and put everything away.

If one wonders where we get the resources and money, remember Lunette’s family is an old one and that both Amber and I have access to magical means.  I mean technically, Lunette could make blank pieces of paper look like money, but it is really not necessary. In my case, House Venus gave me a lot of money and set up a very secure and secret account.  It’s not the money for us, it is accessing it without the wrong people noticing.

After that, we settled into a very domestic routine.  I am up before the girls so I make breakfast after doing a little meditation, stretching and writing. The smell of food brings them to life and then we spend the morning each doing our own thing. I study, Lunette does some alchemy and Amber does a lot of practicing with the fireplace as far as fine-tuning her fire skills. Lunch is made by Lunette and then we begin the afternoon session of doing things together like reading a book together, playing games (we have Uno, Payday and Monopoly plus a chess, checkers, and backgammon set)  or talking. Amber fixes supper at some point as she is the best cook among us.  Then we begin the evening ritual of heading to the sauna and taking a bath, then doing a little skinny dipping. At the end of the day, we are on the couch in front of the fireplace.

This last week has had one noticeable change.  Before Amber and I would often wear t-shirts and underwear as a gesture of modesty toward each other.  Lunette, of course, being pixie had no problem being her nudist self right from the beginning. But now that things are out in the open, nudism for all of us seems more the order of the day from start to finish.  There have been some weather issues where this has been discarded briefly, but for the most part, we eat, work, play, bathe and relax in the buff now.

My relationship with Amber, as mentioned before had gone up a bit in the realm of romance and love. A couple nights ago when skinny dipping I was watching her and then as we were getting ready to walking back, I gave my traditional kiss to Lunette and then without thinking I kissed Amber with the same intensity.  She smiled afterward and then kissed me back again. I have to say walking naked in the woods with your arm around the waist of two women is a wonderful experience.

I haven’t had sex with her yet, but I don’t think that is her being resistant – it is me still coming to terms with this whole relationship situation.  Of course, tonight’s events have changed things significantly for the worse.

Tonight the ritual was interrupted during the skinny dipping stage by a savage growl.  For my part, my shield went up around all three of us but it was a little late and the werewolf got inside. His jaws clamped around my right arm so my flame didn’t get a chance. She was fast.  Yes, the werewolf was a she, I got a good look at her and it only takes basic anatomy to figure it out.  I dropped my shield and using my left hand I used a burning hands on the werewolf and it howled falling back. I fell back into the water and was disoriented.

Amber at this point was full-on fire girl and the werewolf snapped at the flames but then launched itself at Amber and got its jaws on her shoulder and slashed her backward with its claws. Amber fell in heap near the shore.  At this point, Lunette saved the day doing her shrink down and energy pinball thing. She was hitting the werewolf so fast and continuously it finally turned tail and ran. We were not the easy prey it was expecting.  By this time I was back in the game and sent a fireball after it when it struck the howl that filled the forest was defining and then the werewolf collapsed burning.  It was dead in seconds, and then I turned my attention to Amber.

She had slash marks across her belly that looked nasty but hadn’t penetrated her insides. The real danger was the bite mark on her shoulder. Lycanthropy is transmitted this way.  She was also unconscious and wasn’t responding to our attempts to wake her. We picked her up and quickly headed to the house. Lunette and I bandaged her wounds and got her into bed.  Eventually, she came back and smiled at both of us.  She said all the wounds hurt, of course, but no bones seemed broken which was a good thing.  We ordered her to get some rest.

Lunette and I know the stakes here.  We have been here before but Mrs. W died a couple years ago and her cure of lycanthropy was lost with her.  Lunette and I also know werewolves run in packs and are not going to take kindly to one of their own being killed. Without intending to we might have angered a whole pack of werewolves and that is not good. Amber right now is sleeping comfortably, but if she starts having night terrors and sweating a lot and is feverish, those are the first signs of lycanthropy. Lunette I can tell is very worried and I am too.

Right now all we can do is watch Amber and stay vigilant.

Writer’s Notes:

I made the remark about this series that it needs to end soon.  Soon in writer terms, and writing one post a week, means it will probably be late November or early December.

From a social point of view, my views on nudism even as a Christina have always been positive even though at the time I was not a practitioner.  Leaving Christianity and faith in God have kind of changed all that in some ways. I have a very open-minded view these days to nudity being simply nudity and not sinful or evil. I also have become a very private practitioner when I am home alone. I find it relaxing.

As for the developing relationship between Edward, Lunette, and Amber. I can’t really see a problem with it as sin and evil in relationships don’t really exist anymore for me. I think if people can love one another, use some reasonable precautions, avoid jealousy and figure out a way to live in such polyamory style relationships, that is great and it is their business, not mine. Whether it would be something for me is I suppose a question, but a lot would have to change for me right now for it to even be a question that affects my real life. Theoretically, I would be open to it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Music – My Meaning Between Words (or How to Know the Real Me) ” – The Skald’s Lyre

 

 

Happy Sif’s Day

Discussion: 

It has been a while since I have discussed music and its relationship to my life.  I guess I would describe music as my meaning between words.  I don’t actually perform music but have an uncanny ability to be listening to something and feeling what the artist is feeling very strongly.  This also has to lead to sometimes shutting a song off and moving on because it is not what I actually feel, because it doesn’t resonate. When it does, then it becomes my meaning between words.

I guess the best way to show how important this is to tell you how you get to know the real me.

  1. Firstly don’t expect me to jump up and down if you meet me.  My trust level is pretty low of new people because of many painful experiences so I will speak in two languages to you at first – English and profanity (light).  Over time you might graduate to harder profanity (fuck as a root word) and sarcasm. If this offends you were are done; if not then, this means I like you. It doesn’t mean we are friends, just I like you.  If I add my fourth language – real shit, then you have become a 1st level friend.  That’s it, don’t expect a huge fanfare about it.
  2. If you want more than that, it is on you.  Sorry, introverts have friends because someone came along and adopted them as friends.  I am INFJ so understand my idealism about friendship is higher than the value I place on my relationship with my family. You want to know me better, it’s on you.  I have to see you value friendship with me enough to make some sort of effort to reach out.  Otherwise, as an introvert, I am happy to move along with my own company.  I get along great with myself.  This is the point where understanding me and friendship diverge.  They become two different things.  Friendship with me after this takes time and demonstration in action, not words.  Getting to know me is actually easier and the more you do, the more it speeds up the friendship process.
  3. To understand me completely as in my thoughts and feelings, don’t start with conversations with me, I am guarded as fuck in conversations and evasive as to my feelings and thoughts in that context.  It takes a long time for me to open up to someone in conversation. First impressions of me are often off by quite a bit because I would just as soon move on from your presence as talk to you. If you meet me don’t think you know me. Observation and conversation will get you about 15-20 percent of the real me and only the parts I allow people to see.
  4. Read what I write. INFJs pick an artistic outlet to express real thoughts and feelings and mine is writing.  This blog is right now my main expression of thoughts and feelings and a person who reads this blog will get another 40-60% of me depending on whether or not you also know me where I live.  I am pretty transparent here on The Grey Wayfarer so minimum if you live somewhere else in the world you would know about 40% of the real me by reading it.  If you know me personally and read this blog you are going to get about 60-65% of me.  The real me.
  5. Ask what music I am listening to.  This will give you an additional 10-15% because no matter what you learn from observing me and reading my writing, this fills a lot of the gaps.  There are thoughts and feelings I cannot put into words but if you listen to the music I am listening to, you will get a little more of me. that will put you at 70-80% if you know me, read what I write and listen to the music I am listening to as well. At that point, you are on the fast track to becoming a member of my very small inner circle.
  6. Getting to know the rest of me involves getting in that inner circle and that is where the friendship, and getting to know me, come back together.  Inner circle people get to actually will hear more of the real me in conversations. That’s how you know you have arrived when how I talk to you starts to sounds more like this blog. At some point, you will be at about 90%.
  7. The other ten percent requires a level of intimacy that few achieve. You have either known me for a very long time, are or were my lover at some level, or you are me. My personality is such that even with people I have considered friends all my life and even my wife I keep a few cards close to the vest. Very few get to see them. I would say only one person has gotten close to 100% and she is no longer part of my life except as a ghost.

People ask what about my wife at this point?  My wife is a good woman and loves me very much.  I love her but the struggle in our relationship is that she knows me pretty much by watching me, being my friend for a long period of time and being my lover. She is not a reader and our discussions of music involve musical taste not what we are listening to and why. This means two of the biggest avenues she could get to know me with better she does not utilize.  My personality is such that because of this I get guarded even with her because of this.  Note I am saying is mostly on me there, not her.

You would think after 30 years of marriage, I would be having open conversations with her about everything. Especially since we actually have on top of the length of the relationship, being lovers.  But my INFJ guard is up with everyone including her and that is just how I am.  Getting to know me requires effort, reading my writing and listening to my music.  Otherwise, you could probably get to 80% otherwise at most, which is where sometimes I feel my relationship with my wife is most of the time.  Recent events in the last couple of years still haunt my thoughts about our relationship making me still guarded.  I may have had an affair, but that was symptomatic of many issues that existed in our marriage before that and we are still working through them.

So you can see where music fits as not the most important thing in my life but as something that is important and helpful in understanding me.  Ity makes the difference between having a good understanding of me and a great one.

Playlist:

Wardruna and Aurora – ‘Helvegen’:

Disturbed – ‘Stricken’:

Five Finger Death Punch – ‘Wash It All Away’:

Three songs that resonate with me right now.  Well, the first is representative of pagan music that I listen to and there are a lot of different groups and songs there.  This is just the latest example.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Divine Masculine and Feminine” – Freya’s Chambers – Male-Female Balance

Happy Frigg And Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.

I am fairly new to this and perhaps this is a topic for Odin’s Eye but the sex role and sexually infuse magical concepts are very much what Freya’s Chambers is meant to address.  The pagan concept of the divine masculine and feminine hits pretty much every form of paganism in some form or another.  There are some that focus on one or the other, but usually, they have both.  The idea of masculine and feminine not just being genders but spiritual forces are quite common.

In most mythological pantheons there is a duality of gender when it comes to the simple fact that most gods and goddesses are paired.  There are a husband and a wife and often there is an understanding of the feminine and masculine roles in the divine realms that are conveyed in those pairings.  One of the most common is that rain, thunder, and lightning is often a masculine god, like Thor or Zeus.  The feminine is earth, harvest and giving life, like Sif and Hera. When I was in seminary one of the pairings and mythologies we looked at basically held that the earth was the womb and that rain was semen.

See the source image

In this idea, there is the notion that certain forces of life are masculine based and others are feminine.   That some forces in life contain masculine energy and others feminine.  Also with this is the idea that these two forces need to be kept in balance as much as possible. That when things get out of balance things can go horribly wrong to being just off and not working.

In our modern world, the issues of gender identity, gender roles, etc. seem to defy these views in some respects. Gender identity has become a bugaboo because according to someone can simply choose one’s gender by a decision.  Gender Roles are often questioned and rightly so because in many cases in society one sex’s roles are often put as superior to another.

See the source image

In ancient paganism and mythologies, there is little gender-neutral or gender fluid.  Odin is a man, Frigg a woman.  That doesn’t mean that Odin doesn’t do some things that even in Viking society would be considered feminine – like his ability to use divination magic which is a role that was almost exclusively female. But Freya embraces the masculine when she dons her armor and flies with the valkyrie.  That said, for the most part, Odin and Freya stick with their sex when it comes to what they express spiritually and their role in society.

It should be said that those that believe in the divine masculine and feminine try to remove the negative stereotypes:   Men are aggressive and women passive is a common spiritual theme but that doesn’t mean men are strong and women weak.  Aggressiveness and passivity each have their own strengths and weaknesses so each is required to complement and harmonize with the other.  They need each other.

See the source image

My personal view is presented in the simple idea of male-female balance:

  1. I think self-fulfillment is found first in accepting all you are including if you are male or female. Trying to be something you are not is self-defeating and indicates self-hatred which is not helpful.  So no, I don’t think being gender-neutral or fluid is a good thing or even based in reality.  The genders are not evil but evil can result if they are not balanced. A good way for them to become unbalanced is to deny their existence or ignore them.
  2. It stands to reason that if spirituality exists men and women would have a spirituality that is different from one another.  If we are different physically, emotionally, mentally based on our gender. Then it only stands to reason that we would also be spiritually different based on it as well.
  3. I believe that men are strongly masculine but need a touch of the feminine and visa versa.  I think the yin and yang symbols are the best representation of this and the need for balance.  The dot of the opposite color in each keeps us from the more negative qualities of our gender.

See the source image

I personally have had to adjust a few understandings to come to these conclusions.  One of the great failures of the Abrahamic religions is their failure to lose the patriarchal notion that man is the head of the woman.  That masculine dominates feminine is a central theme to all of them. In the end, this leads to women being everything from property to submissive servants to men.  I am pretty much sure this a great ploy to keep dominance now.  Religion is used to justify men controlling the destiny of women which I would no consider unbalanced and thus doomed to fail. No matter how pleasantly this is put, it is ultimately about the domination of masculine over the feminine.

See the source image

In my personal life this is challenging in my marriage as my wife still, through long experience, habit, and practice, seeks my authority over her. The problem is I don’t look at it this way and tell her to make up her own mind a lot. This can be frustrating for both of us. I am looking for an equal partner who makes decisions together with me now.  She still looks for me to make those decisions alone and she just goes along with them.  I was never a domineering Christian husband, but the teachings of the church in multiple contexts over the decades have created this version of masculinity and femininity that I no longer hold, but she does.  This represents a great difference in our values and does cause strain in our marriage.

Away from marriage, I have accepted my masculine spiritual side as pretty strong.  I also like the feminine and I am attracted to it. I need it as I do not generate a lot of feminine energy within myself.  This could lead to a lot of imbalance, but that is why I probably get along better with the women in my life than men. Their influence keeps me balanced.

See the source image

This is my initial view at present.  I may change it with time as I meditate on it more and refine it.  I do know that this belief in balance is what caused me to gravitate to Asatru rather than Wicca.  I found most, not all, practitioners of Wicca to be very ‘The Goddess’ oriented like masculine forces were bad or inferior.  Men were only a consort to the feminine, not presented as equal.  If patriarchy is bad; I am going to say matriarchy is equally so.  Neither is balanced.

Asatru doesn’t do this but reminds people of the need for both men and women and that both are important. Both the masculine and feminine are equally valued and have their role in society, life, family and sexuality. Neither is a social construct, but spiritual forces created by men and women being men and women. We may be different, but we are both needed and partf o that is to recognize the need for balance between the male and female.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

“Dealing with Ghosts” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 20

Happy Thor’s Day

I suppose it is a testimony to the effectiveness of the last four The Grey and The Wayfarer posts that I really have not had The Grey strong in my life for almost a month, until last week.  The trigger is this poem I have been basically dismissing and setting aside for a month until this last week it started crystalizing fully in my mind and then it became a problem.  It was bad enough for the last ten days or so for me to have a few minor moments with The Grey.  Finally, last Sif’s Day I finalized the poem and published it and I do feel better. Below is the link:

“The Ghost of You” – Skald Tales and Poems – Poem

That said, the ghost of Miss Salty isn’t the only ghost I have been struggling with. I suppose when I look at what ghosts symbolize, it is unfinished business. I have a bit of that but also there is the aspect of someone dead to you either literally or figuratively.  People who for whatever reason are no longer part of your life that still haunt you. Sometimes the haunting is good, sometimes bad.

Probably a good example of each is in order.  The first is my father who died on October 5th, 1994.  He was a great man and his funeral was one of the best attended I have ever seen in my life. Not a week goes by that I don’t think of him still.  I have adapted to his absence but I have never gotten completely used to it.  This time of year both mom and I are a little cranky because of it. The three musketeers (I was an only child) are still missing Porthos. His love of life was infectious and both mom and I have struggled with that ever since his death.

The other kind is best represented by the man known to me as The Dirty Pig.  Probably because the real ghost of that is our friendship which, given all that has happened, was ultimately ghost-like the entire time.  It was illusionary and only remained as long as there was some benefit in it for him.  Real friends can’t be lost so what was revealed was a man who was a poser and a fraud. The Dirty Pig he is to me and will remain so until I am dead.

Sometimes things are also ghosts particularly relationships.  My life as a pastor and my marriage before our almost divorce or both there to haunt me.  The first becomes a ghost because I wasted a lot of time that I could have been enjoying life an building one.  Doing something more useful than being a good storyteller, cut-rate counselor, and spiritual guru. I am now playing a colossal game of catchup when it comes to my finances being prepared for retirement.  I counsel everyone who will listen to me to not go into the ministry.  If you want to help people start a non-profit charity and run it yourself or go into counseling or some form of social work. Be a teacher. Do anything but a preacher or pastor.

My ‘former’ marriage and the combo of my wife and I being a pastor and pastor’s wife is also a ghost that haunts me.  Mostly because inside my heart I am longing for something different now when it comes to my marriage and my wife wants to return to the way things were.  If we stay together, neither of us is going to get what we want and that may still bring about our downfall. I don’t want that but I also don’t want to be miserable like before and so the tension between loving her and loving myself is very real.  It is also not the only thing providing tension.

The other thing is this is now a mixed marriage as far as faith/spirituality and that is particularly stressful to both of us because our values are different now.  They are also diverging more and more. I know if we had gotten divorced, my life would be different and the only thing holding me back with some of my desires is I chose to stay. I know what happened the last time I sacrificed my own happiness to make everyone else happy and it was pretty devastating to all involved.  While I have no desire to have that happen again, I know this is kind of an Achilles’ Heal of mine and I don’t think it has been removed from how I function as a person. It is a ghost that hangs over me.

One other thing besides ghosts to talk about in this The Grey and The Wayfarer.  That is the nature of The Grey itself which might be considered a large ghost if you look at it a certain way.  A bit ago I asked myself the question of what exactly is The Grey?  It is not raw depression that is for sure because I can shut off the negative emotions completely and I would still say I am in The Grey.  Depression is a part of it but not the total of it. There is something else, and I am still thinking about it.  I think though I would need counseling to get to the bottom of it completely.  The one thing I am sure of is that the depressive elements are not the only thing going on here.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!