“A Fireplace, A Sauna, and A Skinnydip” – Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 13

September 19, 2019September 19, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal August 27th, 2019

It’s been a week of hiding out and I think we are all going a little stir crazy. It’s late summer so we don’t have to deal with cabin fever at least. Yet. The three of us put on more passible civilian clothes to go to town. Amber in jean shorts and a tank top is something to see. Unusual to not see her in that red dress. The town trip was uneventful as the only person who actually saw us was the keeper of the small grocery store. We bought some fresh milk and meat and some other stuff. I dropped off a magical letter in the post office. It would only reach my daughter if I died. Until then it was pretty much unnoticeable.

The cabin looks ordinary enough but Lunette informed me that it had some magical features. The lights were candles and oil lamps that went on and off with the wave of a hand near them. The fireplace required no wood but in true fairy-fashion burned magic. It might be late summer but the cabin is shielded buy tall think trees and this is the Upper Penisula or what we Michiganders call ‘true up-north’. It was starting to get cold at night. So the fireplace was a welcome addition in the evening as the three of us would gather on the couch and talk and watch the flames.

The icebox was also magical. There was no electric line to the place so it all was magic. The consequence was no internet or television. My phone sat inert and its battery quite dead at the bottom of my pack now. Better that way, no way to trace me using it.

The same was true for the sauna by the lake as it was powered by magical rocks that you threw water on to get steam, which did have to be dipped from the lake in a bucket. There was one of those metal portable tubs hanging from the wall that we had been taking turns in getting a bath. Well, the girls have as I can’t really fit in it, so I fill it and then sponge bath myself standing in it (with Lunette helping scrub my back) and then pour the bucket of water over my head to rinse off. Up until three days ago, the pattern was me and Lunette going down and helping each other bathe and sauna together. Then I come up to the cabin and Amber goes down and Lunette helps her. They usually come back together, often after an hour or so.

Three nights ago it was however particularly hot for a lot of reasons. One was the night temperature didn’t drop much and it was still late summer heat even at night. So the whole sauna bath thing was even hotter and I was literally sweating bullet-sized drops. Lunette being a pixie is less affected by changes in temperature but even she was feeling it I could tell.

“Let’s cool off in the lake. Skinnydip time.”

It kind of brought back memories at my uncle’s cabin when all us cousins would get in the sauna and then do skinny dip time to cool off. We were all little kids so the whole girl boy thing hadn’t really dawned on us yet.

So I saw her get up and followed her perfect naked backside out into the lake and jumped out into it with her. Soon we were waist-deep. The lake wasn’t dirty at all, in fact, I remarked how clear it was to Lunette and she said her family owned the whole thing. They called it Mysterious Clear Lake. But in truth, you will not see it on the map. Her family had used their abilities of illusion and suggestion to basically make it disappear. So you could see the sand even in deep water below you and when it was calm it was like a mirror. Tonight the moon was shinning out on it and it was wonderful. I took Lunette in my arms after splashing each other for a bit. I kissed her. After a few seconds though we were interrupted. It was Amber clearing her throat.

“You two mind if I join you?”

Before I could speak, Lunette said no we didn’t.

“Oh, thanks. It’s pretty hot in the cabin.”

I was about to speak when Lunette pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

“It’s OK. Were all adults here and I would like to know where she stands with you. Her being naked means she doesn’t have anything up her sleeve. Gods Ed, I am still a pixie about this, I don’t own your sexuality.”

I nodded, but my eyes had not left Amber. She kicked offer sandals and pulled her tank top up over her head. She undid her bra and dropped it into a pile with her shirt and sandals. She then unbuttoned her shorts and in one motion dropped them and her panties down to her ankles and then stepped out. Looking at the front of her, I now knew she was truly a redhead.

‘There, fully disrobed, well except for my tattoo.”

I didn’t have to ask as she turned around and showed us. Well me, because Lunette had probably seen it before. It was a tramp stamp but it was flames of red, orange and yellow all mixed beautifully together. The flames actually moved a bit like they were real.

“Is it magical?”, I asked.

“Oh, yes. It augments my flame powers.”

Then bold a brass she strode down into the water up to her waist as well.

” I got it from an alchemist tattoo artist who specializes in that sort of thing.”

“Is that common. I have been thinking about that as well.”

“Yes. There are quite a few now that tattoos are less taboo with mundanes. It has the advantage of being a talisman that can’t be removed. You are pretty powerful already. I am not sure what a tattoo augment would do to your powers.”

I caught myself staring at Amber and then turned to Lunette who was smiling a wry smile. She leaned over again and whispered.

“You know I think you are part nymph yourself. You need to focus and find out where her loyalties lie. She is no longer your bodyguard now, so why is she with us still?”

I nodded.

“You know Amber, you don’t have to stay with me anymore. You are not under orders to guard me anymore?”

“I know. I could just join the underground and fight, but I feel in a way my place is still with you. You have a tendency to draw trouble and end up in awkward and tense situations.”

“Yeah, like skinny dipping with two beautiful women.”

This time both women laughed.

I sighed and looked back and forth between the two of them they were both alternating between looking at me and each other. Then it hit me.

“You girls are up to something. I have been set up haven’t I?”

“I told you, Amber. He is pretty quick on the uptake when it is staring right at him.”

Amber shrugged then spoke.

“Ed, I have been your bodyguard now for some time. I have come to care about you in that time like no one else except maybe Lunette. Things have changed, you are right but something has been building for a while now inside me toward the both of you. I can only describe it as affection, maybe the beginnings of love. I know my place is with both of you.”

“Ok, this is truly awkward and tense. Are you saying you love both of us?”, I asked.

“Yes. I have already expressed this to Lunette. As a Pixie, I knew she would understand but we both worried about you.”

“Yeah, how you would react, Edward. I know you just finished mourning your wife nad our relationship is still new. You have a hard time with this heart stuff, I know. But Amber is still with us because she loves us. No other reason than she is in love with both of us and doesn’t know any way to express it other than protect us.”

I sighed, “Well, leave it to the women in my life to complicate things. I don’t even know what to think right now. I really am a little more fae in my understandings of these issues now, but it is still all very new to me.”

Lunette spoke, “Edward, we thought about that too. We don’t want you to rush things. I know you wouldn’t have that type of relationship or sex with any woman you didn’t have some feeling of love for and my guess is that; true to you; the relationship between you and her has, up until now, been a professional one. She and I want that to change.”

“You both do?”

Lunette sighed, “Yes. We have been talking. Edward when you got back with me you said you understood what I was and what that might entail in our relationship. I am a fae and sexual fidelity is not in the cards and you said that was OK. That it didn’t affect our loyalty to each other because you knew how I am. Well, you should know that I find it as easy to cuddle up to a girl as a boy. I’m bisexual. Amber and I have…”

“Been getting cuddly. I see. Ok. I am good with that. I said I would be and so there it is. But I am not sure about me and Amber.”

“We know Edward. That’s why Amber and I felt you should be told this way and then gradually be brought into it. For starters, we want to stop the separate bathing times and bathe and sauna together. Skinnydip too. It would just be good if we can dress, undress and be naked in each other’s presence without inhibition. The cabin is just too small for any real privacy anyway. It will lead to more conversation and emotional intimacy if nothing else. There is also a practical concern.”

“Yeah, I know. When we bathe and sauna separately the one person alone is vulnerable. We should try to be together as much as possible. Ok. I will go along with this. I guess we will see how it goes.”

For the last three days, we have been doing the fireplace, sauna and skinnydipping together. Amber is a redhead and fire mage, but definitely, not a hothead and her passion I can feel is that quiet kind. I can see her and Lunette sleeping right now from the table where I am writing this journal out by hand. I slept alone last night and let them have a night together. They are both beautiful women both outside and in. While I am still not completely sure about this, I am willing to stay open-minded. After all, life may be very short for us and we need to enjoy as much as we can while it lasts.

Author’s Notes:

I suppose I have to say that any similarities to the characters and events in this story are purely coincidental with the exception of yours truly. I have to say that because for some reason during The Hedge Wizard of Redburg some people actually thought I was relaying all true stories. Most of the time I was not.

When I write fiction of any type I like to push social mores. Hell. I like to slap them in the face, knock them on their ass, and then kick them when their down. The context of this story is that we have a male wizard, a female wizard, and a female pixie. The two mages already push the social boundaries of this imaginary world by being mages. A little nudism and sex outside the lines are not going to phase them. Especially since I have established in past canon (now deleted) that nudity and sometimes sex is necessary for some magic to even work or take place.

Lunette is even further off the chain when it regards sexuality and nudity. As a fae, she is immune to disease including STDs. In addition, she cannot get pregnant except with another fae and only if she wishes it. I ask you what kind of social mores about sex would you expect if this was the case in fae society? None – pretty much other than perhaps incest being taboo, maybe not even that given the fae are also not subject to genetic disease either. The faerie spends more time naked than clothed when among their own kind as well. Needless to say, each faerie and pixie has probably seen a lions share of boobs, asses, and penises regardless of their own sex. Nudity does not phase them.

In this story, Edward is hunted, a widower and pretty much looks at sex and nudity like a fae, with reasonable precautions relating to human beings. He can get another female human pregnant without protection and STDs are real things. But not with Lunette and Amber has a few magical tricks up her sleeve (when she is wearing clothes) regarding her own feminine issues. Edward is very well aware at this time every day could be his last so yeah, he is looking for any bright spot in that situation.

I am simply extrapolating what would happen in this context given all the above. There is no reality here and I am not relating any real event that happened in my life at all. In real life, I am married and have been (since my wife and I’s reconciliation) faithful to her. I want that understood before the gossip hounds go off relating this story to everyone.

Yes, I know from my stats on both my Facebook page and here that traffic indicates some people from my former congregation probably still check me out. Oddly enough, I never lost a follower on my author Facebook page last year, but I did lose a lot of facebook friends on my personal page. Some of you are waiting to run off and tell my wife some story so you can be ‘right’ about me and warn her what an awful person I am. I am going to say this with all the love in my heart I can muster for you – Go fuck yourself.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Escape” – Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 12

September 12, 2019September 12, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizards Journal – August 20th, 2019

If you had told me three days ago I would be sitting in a cabin in some unknown location in the upper peninsula of Michigan and writing in a journal I haven’t touched in months, I would have told you that it was highly improbable. But here I am and the last 3 days has been something that definitely took away the boredom of the past couple of months.

Well, it hasn’t been completely boring as sexual activity with an attractive middle-aged pixie is always a treat. Just the right amount of energy and experience. Yes, Lunette and I are still a thing. It’s actually gone quite well other than I began to get alarmed at how much we weren’t paying attention to the situation or doing our research the first couple of weeks. We were having a lot of sex.

Eventually, though things evened out a bit and the nights with Lunette were a welcome end to a day’s work where we could change gears and just enjoy one another on all levels. She is a different woman since high school. More conscientious and far less stuck up. I am glad she is with me right now because the situation has gotten dramatically worse.

Three days ago, Amber knocks on the door. Lunette answers it and she hustles in without the normal ‘is it ok if I come in’. She informs us that the Lioness received communication from the Council which basically amounted to an accusation that she was harboring a fugitive, namely me. There must have been a leak and that means not all of the mages of House Venus are loyal to the Lioness. No surprise, but that meant this place being a safe house was over.

We were prepared for this and in a few minutes I had my magic books in my backpack, and I had changed into my traveling garb which was basically a pair of jean shorts, a dark grey t-shirt, and some trail boots. Lunette for her part has packed some potions in my backpack. She was going to shrink down in size eventually, so she had prepared a small outfit made of enchanted leaves and she also had a very small dagger to match. She kept this stuff in a small box in her back pocket of her cutoff shorts she was now wearing along with her pink t-shirt, so when she shrunk down she could put them on then by pulling it out first.

I cast some wards on the rest of the stuff in the room. Some things could only be opened by my direct descendants. Others would basically disintegrate if anyone tried to touch or use them except me. Not leaving anything for the bad guys. The real issue now was how to leave the mansion without being seen or having a fight.

Amber had our solution which as to get to the portal room. Basically, all these mage types equipped their bases with magic portals. They were expensive in terms of cost both to create and use, so they tended to be rare. But it would be smart fo the Lioness to be near one so she could get anywhere effectively in the world. The only trick was magic stones were required to power them and they were expensive to make and only lasted a couple times before depleted.

The trick to this portal, in particular, is it was in the second basement at the far end away from us and that meant finding away to get there without being seen. the second problem was wherein all creation to go once we used it. We had a little time so pulled out the map I had magically made of the mansion thanks to Nevermore and Lunette. I could look through Nevermore’s eyes and Lunette made him invisible and silent so he could fly about. Using what he saw I had made a fairly detailed map of the layout of the mansion.

The path through the upper parts was easy enough, the only thing was to slip past all the guards but Amber figured she could escort us where we needed to be. The second basement would be easily reached through the first level, but then things would get dicey. There was part fo the second basement that was beyond even Amber’s security clearance and one of those was the portal room which was only accessible to the Lioness and a few trusted others. We might have to fight their way through at that point.

“The second level has illusion countermeasures. Lunette’s power will be less helpful down there.”

“Yeah, but Lunette and I are good at fighting together, and if I go taking out some of these House Venus female superiority types, that’s a fine way to go. No offense Amber.”

“No offense taken. I think it is time for me to leave my house anyway. I was born into it, but I don’t agree at all with their ideals – I like men as more than playthings.”

“So you are coming with us?”, Lunette asked.

“Have to. They will know I helped you and they will have me executed for treason. Better to take my chances with you, and you need the firepower anyway. Things are going to get hot and you need someone hotter.”

She winked and I laughed. Lunette frowned.

“The real question is where to go once we use the portal?’, Amber’s question and it brought me to the one thing I had never thought of before. Lunette spoke.

“I know a place we could go to. A safe house I used to use. It’s a cabin in the upper peninsula and quite secluded. It is not going to be a permanent place, but it might buy us time.”

“Ok. that actually sounds good. Any chance it is occupied?”, I asked.

“No, it’s a family place and the only ones who used it was me and my parents.”

Amber nodded in agreement and we set out to the second basement.

Lunette basically made herself silent and invisible. We figured if it was only me and Amber I could look like I was being escorted to the Lioness who was usually in the basement. In fact, that was our cover story. The people in the mansion were used to me walking around as I would do that once or twice every day with Amber in tow so nothing unusual to alarm them.

We reached the stairway to the second level of the basement and paused to collect ourselves. I knew there were two guards at the bottom of the stairs. If the Lioness was in the second basement, we could get past them with our cover story. I had been in the second basement several times but this is where the invisible Nevermore had been the most helpful. If not we would have to fight past them.

The Lioness was in the second basement so they let us past, but that meant we might run into her and that would require some fast-talking. I wanted to get out of this place with as little noise as possible. I wanted to leave as many questions as possible after we disappeared as to where we were. Oddly enough, there were no guards at all on the second level and we walked pretty much in a straight line to the portal room. I was suspicious as fuck about this and so were my two companions. Lunette especially since she was visible and could be heard.

“Ok, I am going to shrink down. I smell a fight. She took out the small box from her back pocket and put it in my palm. She shrunk down and her clothes collapsed on the floor. She landed on my palm and after opening the box, got dressed and put the belt with the dagger around her waist. She winked at me and I smiled. She knew I had been watching. I picked up her clothes and put them in my pack.

“Ok, I am ready,” she said as she drew her dagger.

We opened the door to the portal room and were surprised – Only the Lioness was present in front of the portal which looked like a big looking glass about seven feet in diameter and a true circle ringed with a bluish gem-like material.

“I knew you would come here. I made sure Amber knew about the communication from the Council. They will be here tomorrow and you need to be gone.”

I was flabbergasted, “You want us to leave, no heads on a platter to save your sensual curvy ass.”

“Thanks for noticing. I do squat in the gym you know? But yes, I can give you this last kindness, I truly believe in a world where magic is everyone’s to use, but the time for revolution is not yet. You need to go and the portal is the best way to go without anyone noticing. Here.”

She walked across the room and handed me a blue gemstone pendant and necklace.

“This is the power source for the portal. It is fully charged so all of you can go with one shot. Whoever is picking the location need only to think of it and walk through holding the other two’s hands.”

“Thanks…you know you could gain some pretty good influence by handing us all over to the Council on a silver plate.”

“Yes, but I gave my word and that means something to me.”

“Thanks again. Janice.”

She looked startled at her real name. Then blushed.

“Don’t tell me where you are going, the less I know the better.”

She started to walk past me then stopped and leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Take care of Amber for me. She is special to me.”

Then she walked out.

Lunette took off her leaf clothes and dagger and put them back in the box. She grew back to normal size and I handed her clothes back which she deftly put on in a couple seconds. I put the necklace and pendant around her neck and she kissed me hard.

“Ok, each of you take one of my hands.”

I took her left hand in mine and Amber took her right. We walked forward, the mirrored surface gave way and we walked through like it was a vertical pool of water and BLINK.

Suddenly, we were in front of a cabin in the woods. A rather nice one with real logs and glass windows. The necklace was gone. It probably was still in the room we left right at the edge of the portal with the gem now spent of magical energy. We, however, we’re somewhere in the upper peninsula of Michigan.

These last couple of days have been uneventful. The problem is we are now out of the loop as far as information. The cabin is nice enough. Two bedrooms and an actual bathroom and a common area with a kitchen, small dining table and a couch in front of a fireplace all in one. Cramped in some ways but close to a lake. Down the path, a couple dozen feet is a small lake with a shed on the edge. It serves as both storages for the rowboat oars and as a sauna bathhouse. Food is canned or boxed so we all plan on going to the small town five miles away. No vehicle so we will have to make a day out of it and walk.

I took Nevermore out of his pocket dimension and let him fly about. So far no alarm bells. Well other than the U.P. is known to be a werewolf country. We can’t stay here for too long. But it will be a nice rest for as long as it lasts. For me, it is simply good to get outside and walk around. Neither the pixies or mages claim this part of the world as fully theirs, so it is somewhat safer. Time, I guess, to wait for a little and see what is next.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Magic – A Skeptical Pagan’s Perspective” – Odin’s Eye

September 11, 2019September 11, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.

Discussion:

In the Pagan world, magic takes a lot of different forms. In my pagan world of the Asatru, with its Viking heritage, there is a belief in magic. It is full of shamanism as well as the simple idea of using consciousness to affect the world through the will of the practitioner. Because in Norse mythology everything has a spirit, then the issue was influencing the will of those spirits to line up with the will of mage. Most notably the magic of the Vikings seems to have focused on the idea of knowing and fate. For one to decern the fate of a person and thus decided the best course of action was the goal of Viking magic. This particular form of magic was called seidr. The Vikings had other forms but this seems to have been their magical passion if you will.

I freely confess, pagan that I am, I am skeptical of magic. It stems from seeing the value in science, but as some of the writings on magic point out, the end goals and means of science and magic are very different. I can get that, so I am not closed off to the possibility of magic. My problem is my own personal history as a Pentecostal Christian has soured me to the whole idea as what many times was considered ‘miracles’ was either very explainable as mass manipulation and psychology or straight up huckster fraud. The idea of the divine powers reaching into the lives of people I can accept, I just think that the people who claim to do this need to be scrutinized with a very skeptical eye.

So what about magic in the real world?

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I can believe that the powers that might be would interact with the rest fo us humans. The question I have is whether this is necessary all the time. If in some ways this might be presumptuous on our part to even ask for it. I start the Pagan Pulpit out with the following paragraph:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

I want to tell you I sincerely mean this. I am not going to presume on any friendship and that includes the divine powers. Faith that they exist – yes. Presuming that they want to help me – no.

Meditation:

As I have meditated on this question of magic. my biggest personal struggle is that of prayer. Mostly, as I look at Chrisitan prayer, I see it is talking to one’s self and interestingly enough part fo the self that we actually define as God. You will find that Christians in general view this ‘God’ very differently. Everyone has their own very unique perspective on who this person is and interestingly enough shaped in each persons own image of what they want.

Prayer to me seems presumptuous in and of itself. But self-talk I see the need for as we all do it and those that pay attention to it often are more well adjusted. The real question I suppose is theological.

Theology:

Theologically speaking, the question comes back for me as to whether the powers are benevolent, malevolent or indifferent to the whole question of good and evil. Why would they help us if we ask? Can they be trusted?

Even in the mythologies, I know those are good questions. Odin, for instance, has a higher purpose in mind and so will not hesitate to sacrifice you his devotee to that cause. Loki certainly can’t be trusted. Better not to pray at all and thus leave the whole magic of life to living as virtuous as possible for your own sake. Virtue has its own form of magic as do stories.

Spirituality:

My spiritual side longs for what magic could do, but my skeptical side says better to leave it alone. To practice the more subtle magic of living life as a follower of the Nine Noble Virtues and to tell tales as a Skald. Bring the more common magic of virtue and story to people. To not presume on the powers that be, but rather be self-reliant and work hard to attain that I wish. Magic seems like a dangerous short cut.

Conclusion:

I guess I can leave my fellow pagans with some questions. Is magic something you practice and why do you do it? Is my skepticism a good thing or a bad one?

For now, I will follow virtue and tell stories of life and the universe. It seems to be a safe path. I still don’t see a good reason to take the short cut of magic.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Odin – The All-Father” (Asatru Part 7) – The Pagan Pulpit

August 25, 2019August 25, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here. We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it. Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it. Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: Old High German: Wotan chant

This is actually a chant that is found on a site that teaches people about the German language and the translation is in the description. Wotan is another name for Odin.

Meditation:

To be truly spiritual and even a genuine person in general, one needs to recognize that each person’s question of who they are and what they should be doing is individual. The question is different for all of us and the riddle of life is answering the one we actually have, not the one everyone says we should have.

Text:

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: “Odin – The All-Father”

Odin, Wotan, etc. He is known all across the Scandinavian and Germanic world by many names. A couple things are clear in all the stories and myths. 1) Odin is the chief deity and 2) He is very unlike the other supreme deities like Zeus and Jupiter in that he does not lord it over people or rule by decree. Rather, he takes on the problems himself and does what he needs to do to overcome them. He leads by example more than orders.

It is only natural that Asatru would embrace him. From a spiritual standpoint, his essence is summed up very well in the title ‘All-Father.” To the followers of Asatru, Odin is the speaker of the Havamál a collection of his wise sayings. He is the god most associated with words and language so it is no surprise that he has many names.

Paxton rightly points out there is a duality to Odin. One the one hand there is power, anger, war, and aggression on the other side there the god of magic, wisdom and spiritual deepness. On the one hand, you have the armored king on his throne with spear and crown. On the other hand, he is also the grey cloaked, broad-brimmed hat-wearing wanderer. There is an air of power and mystery to Odin as he is both warrior and mage.

His accomplishments in the mythology are large. 1) All-Father – creator of mankind. 2) He is king of the gods, but in practice, he seems to be more of a chairman of the board of gods. Each god or goddess being fiercely independent. 3) He trades his eye for wisdom and foresight. 4) He acquires the Mead of Poetry from giants. 5) He hangs from the world tree upside down for nine days to discover the knowledge of the runes. Odin, in short, has a bad-ass list of accomplishments in Norse Mythology. He is also the god who never turns his back on humanity or being a part of wandering among them.

These days, according to Paxton. heathens invoke prayers to Odin still, even if they serve other gods more fervently, they still pay respect to the All-Father. Most Odinsmen and Odinswomen are people who work with words. Paxton advises against, however, asking him for victory. He is, after all, a god that is even willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He expects the same from his followers and would have no problem leading one into defeat if it meant forstalling Ragnarok. He is a strong and powerful figure and is treated with respect by the followers of Asatru.

As I mentioned before, I don’t think one needs to actually believe in the Norse Gods as real to be a follower of Asatru. What you do have to respect is how their stories pull you back to your ancestors’ view of the world and what they valued. When it comes to the ideas they valued most in a leader, Odin is the perfect representation. He is strong, listens to the counsel of others, is willing to take the lead and sacrifice himself to get what he needs to be successful. When a battle comes, he leads from the front. He speaks little but acts boldly whether those actions are out in the open or clandestine. He has the long term in mind. The greater vision if you will.

You don’t have to do much more than come to my blog and see the title and the imagery I use for it, to know I place great value on what Odin represents. I would say my image of myself as a man has strong parallels with Odin. I work to be strong but also wise. I like to read and write mostly because it allows me to hear the counsel of others. If there is some greater good to be achieved, I will sacrifice myself, although I am trying to do that only when absolutely necessary. When battle comes I like to be out front not only leading but fighting along the sides of those I lead. I never forget where I come from. I prefer to remain quiet and let my actions speak for me. I tend to see the bigger picture and act accordingly. Odin is if anything a good example of leadership values and characteristics I try to emulate in my own life.

That of course and the image of the grey pilgrim who wanders but is not lost is the whole essence of the blog – The Grey Wayfarer.

Parting Thought:

I would say some stories I have seen are written in both. Sometimes blood is used as the ink too.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Funeral Pyre” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 10

August 21, 2019August 21, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal: January 25th, 2019 (cont.)

Of course, I hesitated for a moment, magical flames licking the edge of my fingers. The Grove had been my childhood place of growing up in my magical powers. It has been the place where my love and lover Elpis had been. Where we talked, laughed and loved. She had in many ways turned me into a man. Now, I was about to destroy the only thing left that represented any kind of anchor to the past. The last physical remnant to my magical childhood.

It hadn’t all been good. I suddenly realized I was standing the very place where Elpis had pronounced judgment on Lunette and removed, very forcibly, her wings. That whole thing led to Lunette and I having healing sex to cure me of magical disease, but the magic released also restored Lunette’s wings to the current state they were in. It was one of the most intense physical and magical moments of my life. It happened in the grove, but I was fairly sure, that Lunette’s parents’ home was gone. This twisted trunk was all that was left. An old throne, scars and a place of love turned to a dead coldness. How symbolic of my relationship to Elpis.

I glanced over to Lunette, our eyes met and she nodded. Then she looked away. I turned my attention back to the tree. My thoughts were racing and then I remembered the day Elpis cast me out of the Grove for good, my wife’s death and the breakup I had with Miss Salty. Anger welled up in me. Fire. The Fire of Fury.

“Amber. Now!!!”

Flames burst from my fingertips. Red and orange. As they touched the tree, I could see it illuminated from the other side by Amber’s flames. The flames from both sides burst quickly up the trunk. After a few minutes, I stopped casting my spell. It was no longer necessary as the tree’s magic was now providing the fuel for the fire. Soon the whole trunk was a burning beacon. The heat became quite intense. Elpis never allowed fire in the grove, and now I could see why in full glory. I didn’t have to tell Amber to stop as the heat required me and Lunette to back up some distance away and Amber joined us. We watched it burn.

“Well, the fae can stop spending so many lives to protect this place now from the hands of the wizards.”

Lunette’s voice was cracked, coming in gasps through her sobs. I said nothing. The tears were rolling down my face like rivers. We watched as the flames began to consume the trunk. Soon the whole thing was in flames and burning brightly. The magic of the tree being consumed by our magical fire.

Amber seemed a little distraught herself.

“Ed, this whole place is going to become very active, very soon with either fae or wizards. It’s not going to be safe for much longer.”

“Amber, we have a little time. This is a funeral pyre and it would be disrespectful to leave too early.”

Amber nodded and walked a little ways away from us, and I felt Lunette’s hand in mine. She grasped it with some desperate strength.

“What do you think really happened to Elpis, Edward?”

“She lost her fight with her inner demons. She came to hate who she was and then did what she had to end that part of her life. Suicide. But as an immortal, she couldn’t do that as a dryad. She had to become human. So she did, in a way. Her ghost will either slowly dissipate over time, or if her unfinished business is resolved, she will fade forever. She is still out there, I think, but there is no going back to where she was now, ever.”

“Well, the fae can stop fighting for this bulge in the line now. They can pull back.”

“That’s bad news for me. I am going to have to start living at the Mansion full time.”

“That has it’s own dangers”

“Tell me about it, but I am hoping to enact the plan soon. I need to disappear for my family’s sake.”

“Or die. I am not trying to be shocking, Edward. Because that would end the feud and then the Council would not give two shits about your family.”

“You didn’t shock me, dear. I know that would solve the issue too. Death will come for me in her own good time. I will embrace her as if I was laying down in bed with a beautiful woman. I just see no need to do it myself with so many enemies. One of them is probably going to get me. I just hope I am in a position to return the favor.”

Lunette moved in and I put my arm around her waist as she leaned against me. We watched the flames for a little longer. Amber broke our reflective moment.

“Edward, I sense that this is attracting attention. From both sides. Scouts will be here soon and we need not to be.”

“You’re right, just give us one more moment.”

I turned to face Lunette and she me. My arms went instinctively around her waist, and she put hers around my neck. I kissed her. I felt my magic get supercharged and she probably had the equivalent to a micro-orgasm, but we both needed to feel better and so a kiss was needed. I pulled back after a little bit.

“We need to go Lunette, there is going to be nothing left anyway.”

With that, Lunette, Amber and I headed back to the Mansion. The last remnants of the Red Tree Grove burning behind us.

Author’s Notes: Before this week, I hadn’t touched this chapter since May 27th, 2019. I think the whole Grey Storm thing just made it too difficult to write. I was also wrestling with how to do this. In the end, this chapter is simply a funeral for a character made as a labor of love and because of that love causes me pain now personally and as a writer. Elpis needs to be gone as much as possible, but she had to go with my own writer’s hand.

As I mentioned before this saga as a whole is probably going to come to an end very soon. The whole thing with the ‘death’ of the main character. I am putting ‘death’ in quotes because I want to still leave some air of mystery to this. You have to read the rest to know the true end of the Rogue Wizard.

Emotionally it’s hard for me to let go. I loved every moment of writing the Hedge Wizard of Redberg and Rogue Wizard is basically the endgame of that. It means letting go for good and moving on and I have a hard time with that when it comes to writing. But closure in this whole Miss Salty/Elpis relationship is going to come slowly I think for me, but I also think I can make it come a little sooner by closing this whole thing out and ending it. It will give me fewer memory triggers if I do, but I have to trigger some memories to get there.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Naked Before Who?” – Odin’s Eye – The Grey Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side

August 1, 2019August 1, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day.

Discussion:

On May 17, 2013, I wrote this post: Naked Before God – Part 1 – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness. It was the first post in a series of posts called Naked Before God. At the time, I was trying to reconcile some findings I had found in my biblical study of nakedness and current Christian practice and its perception of nudity. At the end of that post, I reflected on six positive spiritual aspects of nudity. Vulnerability, Openness, Intimacy, Genuineness, Wholeness, and Equality.

Those qualities are very spiritual when you think about them as they go to the core of who we are and how we perceive ourselves in relationship to others and the world. Of course, the problem with this series of posts now; for me personally, is what do I mean about the word ‘God’?

I personally still find being an at-home nudist beneficial. I am actually quite private about it with no real exhibitionist tendencies being introverted as I am. That said, I am as comfortable in my own skin as I am in clothes. Actually sometimes more comfortable because of the spiritual qualities I outlined so long ago still remain true despite my change in faith/religion/spirituality. My issue is redefining how this means to me spiritually. The change is not the spiritual qualities of nudity so much as the notion that the Christian god is the one I am naked before is no longer true to me.

I suppose this is going to take some time and meditation to redefine, but the problem seems to be that some of these spiritual qualities are dependent on there being some divine force to be naked in front of in the first place. There is also the issue of whether such a divine force ~~gives as shit~~ cares about it. Yet, I feel at these times that I have spiritual peace or at least a better possibility of spiritual peace than at others.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I know it sounds strange, but I feel that my faith in myself grows in my times of spiritual meditation and part of that is connected to the fact I meditate in the nude. All the spiritual qualities combine at the time. I am open to the universe around me and vulnerable to it. I can see myself for who I truly am (genuineness) – equal to every other man and woman. There is a non-sexual feeling of intimacy with myself and the world I don’t experience otherwise. I am the whole and true me and me alone. This faith or whatever you want to call it has lead to a lot of inner healing for me. To those of you out there who practice ‘magic’, is this magic?

Religion:

Of course, I have to from time to time shuck off the shackles of my former religion which trains people to be ashamed of being naked. I now believe this is what leads to a lot of body image problems and poor self-image problems for people. There was a fear developed in me from an early age by my past religion that if I was naked I should be ashamed of it, my body and being naked automatically lead to sexual sinful thoughts. None of this is objectively true, but if you are going to dominate and manipulate a person, engaging in shaming people for who they are in truth is a good start. Nudity and sex are great targets for this. I don’t buy any of it anymore but the indoctrination still has a few things that cause irrational fear that I have to throw off.

Theology:

It is interesting that in pagan theology, there seem to be a lot less moral codes about nakedness. If anything, there is at worst neutrality about the subject, or at best blatant positivity about its benefits. The naked pagan walking in the woods is probably a common and an accepted image. We are human and come into this world naked. It is our most natural state and foundational spiritual state, and so it is considered beneficial by most. Whatever power that be that made/evolved us, doesn’t seem to mind our nakedness, so why should we.

Spirituality:

If there is a spiritual challenge to nudity for me now it is twofold. 1) The dumping of artificial man-made social mores that no longer apply to me. 2) Coming to terms with the fact there is a call in my heart to more social nudism. The first I find it easier every day I spend in the buff doing normal and everyday things. The second is the simple fact that much of the spiritual qualities I have outlined that nudity possesses are incomplete without others to experience them with you. It is a value shift for me that is probably been long in coming, considering how long I have been addressing the subject of spiritual nudity. It isn’t a question of spiritual negativity anymore for me, but a practical question.

Conclusion:

The main question of this post still remains as to who I am naked in front of anymore. If not god, then who.? Do such powers even care? Mostly I think I am naked with myself and coming to terms with the fact that I am very comfortable with it and becoming more so every day. It is a part of my daily at-home activities particularly when I am alone. Only time will tell if I gain a more spiritual understanding of myself and the people and world around me as a result. There is a part of my journey that now involves walking this path.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Early Pagan Culture – Asatru (Part 2)” – The Pagan Pulpit

July 21, 2019July 21, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

Theme Song: “Ancestors” – Lila Lilly

youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWcMO8020X4&w=1072&h=603%5D

Meditation:

People’s time has value. Learn to respect that and you will go a long way to understanding how to properly influence people without manipulation or coercion. Also by making people respect your time you will go a long way to learning to respect yourself.

Text:

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon:

My focus as I read the book in this first section on Asatru’s ‘history’ was to note at what spiritual concepts were being developed. As the people migrated but as agriculture also became more prominent. People began to settle but some continued to move around and engage in trade. Governments began to form as a way to deal with human interactions and threats. In all of this spirituality and religion began to develop.

In all of this certain spiritual concepts and ideas were started and began:

The hearth or fire becomes sacred both to spirituality and religion at this time. The fire was life and progress but also dangerous so it had that mysterious quality to our ancestors that they began to see as spiritual. Home and hearth develop at this time as more than just nice feelings but as the center of belief in the gods.
Various pantheons began to spring up all over Northern Europe and the idea of being spiritually inspired becomes common. It is the nature of many of the words that mean inspire that also correspond to the god Odin as his name and the root of ‘inspire’ are the same.
The number three becomes sacred.
There is some evidence that by the bronze age, a trained priesthood existed.
Magic as a concept begins and is practiced.

In the Norse lands, you begin to see the development of rituals involving ships, wagons, phallic men with weapons. There is a golden-haired goddess. You see carved representations and pictures that probably represent the earliest forms of Odin, Thor and Freya worship. Marriage rituals are started here.

The point of all this is to point out that Norse ancestors were developing a fairly sophisticated form of religion and spirituality long before Christ and Christianity. Long before any of the invasions by the Abrahamic religions. The people that would become the Vikings, were very much about the hearth, home, fertility, and being courageous in battle. What we need to understand is that no one was forced into this, it is simply what happened as these people looked at the world around them and tried to find answers to the things they didn’t understand.

Pagans respect each individual own spiritual walk. They don’t impose their views on others because that is not how their religion developed. Each person participated as much as they wished in the way they wished. You actually see this very early on. It is a deep understanding of these ancestors that Asatru takes as its roots.

Parting Thought:

What you are is apparent to everyone. Live your life and the accolades will come to you as you deserve them and who you are will be apparent. No need to brag about it. Those that do are often lying.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The First Heathens – Asatru (Part 1)” – The Pagan Pulpit

July 14, 2019July 14, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

Theme Song: ‘Tròdlabùndin (Spellbound)’ – Eivør Pálsdóttir

This is as mysterious and beautiful as a beautiful naked woman in the moonlight.

Translation: https://lyricstranslate.com/en/tr%C3%B8llabundin-spellbound.html

Meditation:

Text:

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon:

It is hard to say when the first pagans reached out with their inherent spirituality to try to understand the spiritual world around them. It is known that in roughly 9000 BC as the Ice Age was receding, the first peoples walked into Scandinavia. Basically a hunter and gatherer culture. They revered the nature that was around them and respected it for the wild and untamed thing it was. In discussions on the belief of Giants, the idea that the giants were big monstrosities is debated. What is not debated is that they represented powerful forces of nature – Storm, Hills, Fire, Ice, etc. It is clear these early people respected them – and feared them.

Resources were abundant so hunting, and fishing and gathering continued for some time before agriculture set in. Ancestor worship started in the whole of the Germanic areas of the world. Respect for those who had paved the way and also spirits of nature were worshiped depending on where people were. As they became more sedentary with agriculture, long term relationships with nature spirits developed and more formal worship practices developed as people had more time because of agriculture.

It is this dual purpose in paganism that you see throughout all of them. Respect for the power of the forces of nature on the one hand and yet respect also for the legacy of ancestors who learned to tame those forces and bend them ever so slightly for the will of man. It is this last part that leads I think to the creation of the gods and goddesses. Reveared ancestors go from local hero to legend to diety. It makes me wonder sometimes who the real Odin was.

For myself, I can respect the lessons here. Up here in the north, if you don’t respect the power of a blizzard, they will find your corpse frozen in the morning. Every year, I am reminded of the power of nature in the southern states as Hurricane season hits. At the same time, I can respect the foundation of the past and build on it knowing that men and women of old carved out human existence with their bare hands and have handed their legacy to me at this time. Someday I will hand it off to the future. In both cases, one cannot be anything but humbled.

Parting Thought:

Truth is a difficult concept for some. I don’t hang around them.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 9 – Remnants

May 16, 2019May 16, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Rogue Wizard’s Journal: January 25th, 2019

Of course, the weather would play havoc with my plans. I mean not much other than as snow and freezing rain hit western Michigan in various waves the plan for a field trip to the Red Tree Grove, was postponed until yesterday. The temperature was pretty much the same just below freezing with snow and ice everywhere. Whoever the pixie Winter Queen is right now, I imagine that she is happy with the results.

So yesterday after assessing the weather wasn’t going to be a problem, we set out to see the Grove. Not a long trip, I used to ride my bike or walk back in the day. The trip from the House of Venus mansion was a little longer and we had to cross the battle lines which during the day were peaceful enough Amber and Lunette flanked me as we went along. Lunette walked instead of flying as we were heading deeper into pixie territory and were not expecting any trouble from the war at least.

I left with a feeling of dread and that increased the closer we got to the grove. Lunette seemed distant too. Amber tried to make small talk but eventually quit realizing her two companions were in no mood. As a mage, she began to get more nervous the further into pixie territory she got. I was sure nothing was going to happen in regards to the war. The Pixies would steer clear of the grove if it was truly as bad as Lunette described and the mages couldn’t get to it. Well, unless the protective magic was gone which it might be.

When we crested the hill that overlooked the Grove, my heart sank into my shoes. It was for all practical purposes gone. The bright red leaves and whitebark were gone from the tree. There was no life I could see at all and the branches were gone. Only a grey large trunk remained which disappeared into the forest below – twisted and evil looking. The forest itself no longer looked magical but all too ordinary. The crunch of snow under my feet and the cold air just added to the grey picture forming in front of me. There was no threshold to cross on the edge of the grove. The protective magic simply no longer existed.

I looked over to Lunette and I could see the tears running down her face. I took her hand and tried to say something but the words didn’t come. We simply walked hand in hand until we reached the base of the tree.

It was still largely shaped like I remembered. The trunk that was left was still easily ten times as tall as me and I am well over six feet. It was just wrong. It was no longer white but grey and dark and twisted. The ‘throne’ of roots where Elpis used to sit was still there, just very ashen. I looked to the right of it and the two large roots which formed a ‘V’ where Elpis and I would go to lay in the soft grass, talk and make love was also still there. Now covered with snow, cold and lifeless.

To the left of the throne was where the three large scars had been. I had helped heal them but now they were ripped open even wider than before – dry and jagged. I walked forward, crouched down and touched one of them. The sadness of what magic was left almost overwhelmed me as I felt its pain and sorrow. Still ambient magic there, but wrong as well. Nothing was right anymore in the grove. I felt that feeling of childhood memories that have been stripped away, never to be recovered.

“She did this herself.”

The words formed in my mouth as the truth and revelation of it crossed my mind. Damn. What the hell was she thinking? Was she really in that much pain?

“Lunette, there is still ambient magic here. Enough to be used.”

Lunette looked at me, her eyes were filled with tears.

“That was true last time I came here Edward, it is just there were still branches and a few other trees left. Now they are gone. It is fading fast. Just the core magic remains.”

“Which could be used for really shitty purposes.”

She nodded. I looked at Amber.

Amber looked sad, but she understood what I was saying as a mage. If the Council and in particular the Death Angels got ahold of this tree, they could harness what energy was left and use it to do only the gods know what. Amber looked me in the eye.

“Ed, it needs to be destroyed. It is going to be of no use to the Fae and if our kind got a hold of it…”

“I know.”

I stood up from my crouched position in front of the scars. The next thing I said was like a dagger to the heart.

“Only one thing to do. Burn it. It’s the only way to be sure.”

Lunette looked away from me but nodded.

“It has to be magical fire so Amber you are going to have to help me.”

She nodded and walked to the opposite side of the tree.

“Just as a warning, this is going to be a magical beacon so bright that everybody is going to know that the Red Tree Grove is finished. There will be no hiding this from anyone once it catches fire. Amber I will let you know when to start. Don’t hold anything back.”

I stood there for a moment waiting for Amber to be the opposite of me. I looked at Lunette and she was crying still. Sobbing on her feet.

“I am in position Ed. Just give the word.”

I felt the fire form in my hands.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 7 – Painful Revelations

April 12, 2019April 12, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 14th, 2019 (cont.)

I found my clothes on a table just outside the room and a couple of towels. I was still a little wet from whatever process they had washed me off with, so I dried off. and then started getting dressed. It was then that I felt eyes watching me. The Lioness of course and two other individuals – Lunette and Raven.

“Now all you ladies have me at a disadvantage. You have now all seen me in the buff, but other than Lunette in middle school, I have not seen any of you in your natural state. Any takers? No? Well, excuse me.”

The three of them seemed a little self-conscious, so they looked away as best they could but I continued to catch glances. I smiled. Underwear, t-shirt with workout saying, socks, jeans, hiking boots, necklace with Valknut symbol, wedding band, sweatshirt hoodie with local university on front.

“Mr. Raby, do you use enchantments at all?”

“No, not yet anyway. Never had he need, always focused my studies on how magic in and of itself could help me. Enchantments are nice to have but they can be taken from you, if you lose what is enchanted.”

“You could do an enchanted tattoo”, Raven suggested.

“Yes, I could. Combination of alchemy and enchantment and attached to my skin. Might be worth considering. Speaking of alchemy, nice bit of work there Lunette with the lipstick.”

Lunette looked down at her feet.

“Can I ask if the alchemy works on everyone, or it was just targeted to me?”

“Targeted. made the formula from a lock of you hair I took back in middle school. I was surprised the formula hadn’t gone inert, but it was still active.”

“Shit knocked me out fast, figured it was targeted. That long ago? What was the occasion?”

“That day when we were freshmen in High School. When you grabbed my arm when I was being a bitch to you. You basically told me to back down and I was pissed about it. Wanted a weapon to target you.”

I nodded. I remember that day. I said something to the effect that I was like crack cocaine to her, so she was vulnerable to me and needed to knock off the snotty bitch thing. Enough reminiscing, need information.

“Well, ladies what happened to the Red Tree Grove? Best theories please.”

Lunette spoke first.

“She must have decided to leave and give up immortality. Only thing that fits. She didn’t pick a replacement, so her power simply diffused. The protective power was gone about ten years ago, so I went inside. The tree was still alive but barely. Those three scars you helped heal. Someone had opened them up again. Given that she was the only one living there at the time, she might have done it herself.”

“Well fuck. Yeah, trying to break her addiction completely. No tree, no drug. Where do you think she went?”

This time the Lioness spoke.

“We don’t think she kept her physical form. We think she went completely spirit form. It would allow her to possess any female she wanted, and keep a long life possible for her. She could move from female to female and occupy them. Use them as hosts to live for a long time. Then move on. Only problem is that every time she would switch she would lose a part of herself.”

“Any leads on that?”

“One, you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, the woman you had an affair with? She might have been one of them. Highly likely.”

This stunned me for a minute, then. Of course it would explain how could she have connected with me so well and so quickly and how I also had changed in my thoughts about her. I mean up until February she was just another woman in the congregation, then that all changed.

“How much control would she have had? Over her host I mean?”

Raven spoke this time.

“Only when it was truly needed, she would be too weak otherwise. Indirect influence most likely. The woman had her own choices, but perhaps there was a nudge from Elpis.”

I cringed at the name.

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, it’s OK. I have been running from this too long. I suppose it was inevitable that both Elpis and Miss Salty would be mentioned. Time to quite avoiding and face what they were to me. Both loves of mine and lost.”

“I guess I would fall in that category too.”, Lunette injected. Sad tone in her voice too.

“Yes, you would and my wife now that she has been killed by the Council. I don’t have any loves that are not lost in some way now. I’m alone.”

Those last two words hung there for a minute. Like a diagnoses of cancer said aloud. Lunette seemed a little pained by it.

Raven spoke first, “You might find love again.”

“Right now, I don’t want it. It hurts too much; too risky. Need to mourn my wife for a bit yet. Promised myself, if she died I would mourn her for at least six months. It’s only been a couple. I honored our Christian vows when we got back together, would have continued if she had lived. I don’t really have that view anymore so my next love, if there is one, would have different rules.”

I turned to face all of them.

“OK, the only thing left for me is family. They will be in danger as long as I am alive. What’s the plan? What do you want me to do?”

Writer’s Notes:

I know, I broke my initial rule about mentioning Elpis and Miss Salty. But it is time I faced down my real life actions and dealt with the emotions of this whole thing.

For a long time when it comes to fiction I have been struggling to find some inspiration and I think it is because I have been avoiding this issue of late. I need a new motivation, a new muse to write for. Instead I have been dealing with The Grey that results from emotional constipation. I think laying things out there ends the bullshit at least and now things can get flowing again. Like an enema for my emotions. Gross but accurate.

I write fiction from emotion. It is definitely a more heart then through the mind thing. Non-fiction is the other way around, so it is easier. This last week has been me struggling to get past this and I think I have some relief at this point. Still some things to work out, but I feel for the first time I can write at least a little more freely when it comes to fiction. Hopefully I am right. If I am, you all should be seeing more fiction from me very soon.

Practically for this series, it eliminates the past almost completely for my alter ego. His decision to fake his death would mean; at least for a time, he would be walking alone and too busy for a relationship. Not saying there won’t be something in the future, but for now love is going to be kept at arm’s length.

In real life, my wife (alive and well) and I have made a strong commitment to make our relationship work. There are some more obstacles because of my change of faith and my attitude about a lot of things in general has changed as well, but we work on them. It has been hard at times, but for he most part we are a loving couple again.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

	Grant W on Of Wolves and Ravens – M…
	Wolfgang on “Skadi: Goddess of the W…
	Heimdall Norse Mytho… on “Heimdall – Guardi…
	Ed Raby Sr on Pause, Reset, Re-Align, R…
	Dawn on Pause, Reset, Re-Align, R…