I write for therapy. I know I gave three reasons I write yesterday but the fourth reason is personal – it is therapeutic. When I sit down and start touching keys on this keyboard, things come into focus, they become clearer. There is meditative aspect to my writing. The same is true when I get up in the morning and stretch, when I am in the gym lifting weights and more recently I have rediscovered that cuddling with my wife has the same effect. The calmness and peace are the same. Perhaps the thoughts in my head are different but I am at peace.
This is good because I still struggle with The Grey. Depression as it is more commonly known. It takes certain triggers and sometimes I don’t see them coming. It’s hard for me to recognize some triggers becasue the memory they might be inflaming is something I haven’t thought about for a long time. Other times I know I am going to have to walk The Grey for a bit becasue of what happens. I accept certain aspects of it because when some of the triggers I know exist happen, I don’t have a lot of control over them. I walk the Grey willingly and with a lot of courage.
Right now my wife has to deal with a little moodiness from time to time. I can’t sing her praises enough. I have done some pretty rotten things to her and yet there she is listening. I love that about her. I don’t get it, but I thank her for it. There are of course things we are still working on. Mostly we both don’t want to go back to how the relationship was before. But you still have to break old habits and create new ones. Both these things take work.
Some blog notes. 1) I am going to start dropping all posts a 9 AM except on Sunday. That one will still fall at 10 AM. I have personal reasons for that. 2) This week is the first week of the schedule being the way it is going to be. It may change but right now I think it’s going to work based on what I am writing. 3) It should be noted that I try to stay three days ahead. The reason for this is that I find if I edit a post three times, I find far fewer mistakes. I simply cue up the post three days ahead of time and look at it every day until it drops.
I hope everyone is enjoying the new blog. I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.