Writing

“Work Day Routine” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day! 

Journal Entry:

Probably the simplest way to look at this routine is to take it step by step and review what changes I am making. But first, the point I need to make is that routine if properly done leads to having more time to live the life you want to live. If it does not then it is not doing what it is supposed to do.  Routine needs to strive for efficiency to the point of being a time-saver, not a time-waster.  With that in mind, let’s review:

  1. Morning Routine – No changes as this is simply a parker that the morning routine gets done.
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time – This happens at some point in the day but it is a priority which is why it falls second on the list.
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates – sound, just need to do it more.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work. – I need to actually use the full hour at some point.  Probably new years I need to start walking with the goal of getting ready for better weather to hike more.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day. – Need better discipline here.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day.  Ditto.
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc. – Discipline
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm – Discipline

I eliminated the daily carb count as starting in January, the struggle will be to be fully paleo with probably three cheat meals a week.  This really the only change other than filling my hour of time working out.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Principle: To walk in the spirit of independence by being my own master and no one else’s

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

My workday routine has a lot of writing and reading that is focused on my getting books published but also a business side of life is present for me personally which is also needed.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

Ditto to above in Self Reliance only focused on a novel.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

The routine on a  workday is about creating prosperity and preparing myself to be better.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I need to look at both my routines for the day as being fair with myself.  Being hard on myself through discipline os life is easier when it is just me living it. This is the goal of the Work Day Routine so that the Rest Day Routine is truly about Rest for the most part.  Justice is about keeping the scales balanced and the routine of life when properly done keeps that balance.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.

One change and a call for more discipline.  I don’t think the routine is the problem.  It’s me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“My Morning Routine” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

My daily routine is shit these days.  I hate the holidays and I need more things to be habits rather than struggles. This is why I added a week to specifically discuss routine because it is the key to a better future.  Life has a way of passing and how we control what happens to our time and what we spend our time on is important.  For me, this is particularly true.

My morning routine is pretty messed up at times.  It is simply the fact that I need to spend more time doing other things at this time of year. I really wish I had a job that had a more stable schedule as this would help all my routines but the morning routine is simply a matter of me getting up and doing what needs to be done. Not just that but what needs to be done in terms of keeping myself balanced emotionally and that starts with meditation.  Something this last month I have struggled with.

I think this stems from my atheism.  Meditation seems too ‘spiritual’ even though I know it has psychological benefits that have nothing to do with divine anything.  It can feel like my old religious past and that is something I find distasteful anymore. But virtue is true regardless of religion and I know when I am meditating regularly, I am more stable emotionally.  This is the part of my morning routine I need to make more consistent and I think that it will require a meditation altar and a consistent form.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

My morning routine is probably the thing that develops honor in myself more than any other time.  It is about me finding balance and strength and being prepared for the day.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I know of no routine that prepares one for the necessity of courage other than to meditate on courage.  That is definitely why meditation is important.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

The reading and writing as part of my daily routine need to be more solid.  Too many things hinge on them.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I recently heard a speaker via YouTube make a simple statement that learning to love oneself is key to everything and that one should take the chance and love yourself first and then the rest will flow out of that.  I couldn’t agree more but my personal struggle has always been to put myself on the back burner for others.  Finding balance here is the key and routine is the process of turning that key.  Of spending time on what is important to me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

There is no need to change this.  There is a need to be more consistent in doing it. But that is probably true for all my routines.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Epilogue I” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 23

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

Rogue Wizard’s Journal – November 6th, 2019

Currently, we are in the basement of an old burned-out farmhouse.  The place is actually quite nice and hidden by magic.  An old safehouse according to Lunette. it is pretty much a well-hidden magical apartment with three bedrooms, a couple baths, and a living and dining room area next to the kitchen.  We are quite comfortable and using only one bedroom at present.

When I came to, Amber was there to greet me and my tears about Elpis’ death.  Lunette was on a scouting run trying to get some information from her sources.  When she got back and heard my tale she started to weep herself.  I don’t think I ever saw Lunette and Elpis get along and Lunette had a lot of reasons to dislike and even hate her, but in the end, it was the last link Lunette had to her past much like me and she knew it.  Needless to say, I held a sobbing pixie while I cried with her for about ten minutes.

Amber for her part tried to comfort us both and the whole thing kind of delayed Lunette’s report.  When she finally calmed down she took a deep breath and reported the following:

  1. The fight we had with the Death Angels had been observed by other agents of the Council and it was truly believed that I was dead. No one survives as death bolt. My case file was closed.
  2. While the Council was interested still in finding Lunette, they had bigger fish to fry after my death and so she was to be left free for a time.
  3. Despite Amber’s defense of me, it was ruled she was acting according to the Lioness’ directive so she was under orders to protect me which she could not shirk.  The council simply ruled that House Venus would decide her fate, but no word had come what the Lioness would do.
  4. The war was going badly for both sides as the casualties were mounting.

‘You’re dead Edward.”

I did a quick divination connection check on the letter I had dropped and it was still hidden.  My magic hadn’t kicked in for death so I was dead to the magical world, but the real one still hadn’t been informed. I wasn’t dead according to magic.

“Yeah, but I will still just be a missing person’s case to my family.”

Lunette spoke very directly, ” You need to keep it that way, at least until the rebels win against the two sides.  You need to go into deep hiding for a while.”

“But the rebellion will need us.”

“No, don’t you see. Elpis gave you a gift of more than your life.  She gave you the possibility of a new one.”

Amber spoke, “Yes.  But in truth, she gave us all a chance at that.  A pixie and her female lover are not going to be much on the radar of either side if they are both outcasts. Especially if both sides think we are too far distraught from losing you.”

“But, Elpis told me to love you both and let you love me.  You are not just proposing I hide but that we separate.  I don’t know if I could take that right now.”

“You have to for a little while.  Until you find a place that is safe from discovery and then we can join you.  If the Council is defeated, then we will all be safe to come back together. We will know you are safe and how to find you with the tattoos.”

We argued well into the night, but I had to eventually agree with both of them. They insisted that I recover, but I am fine.  I just need to prepare for a long time away from my girls and to find a place where I will be safe.

I don’t know about this.

Writer’s Notes:

I am going to wrap this series up by the end fo the month latest. I will probably replace it after I finish Space Tramp as well.  My main issue is to wrap up some loose ends in this series and then finish Space Tramp as well and then move on to something else.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Profitable” – Space Tramp – Chapter 16 (Megatraveller Fan Ficiton)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Story:

Jeremiah looked at his personal device and the balance his investment account now had was much more to his liking.  25000 Credits was a big haul for an extra bonus but the trade route into exploratory territory had opened up some new markets for both his ship and the Countess. She had kept him on as promised as her captain and he had been working hard to open up new trade routes involving her holdings.  The results had been spectacular so he and his crew all pocketed some serious extra change.

This was good as Jeremiah was still investing a lot of his extra money and everything else he could save into getting his own vessel.  This meant a pretty spartan existence but he managed quite well.  If he kept it up and played his connections right, he might just achieve his dream. At least it seemed far more tangible than before.

He had had to learn how to ‘box ears’ this voyage though.  On a couple of occasions, the monthly time spent in some port often resulted in a brawl and he would have to break it up.  He had a tough as nails crew and the places they were going were frontier in feeling.  It was important that he and the crew did not look weak and they pulled it off with the local dockworkers and a few other crews.

The Countess herself was very pleased and the profitability of several of her fiefs just increased by quite a dramatic margin. She was certain that she would keep Jeremiah on as captain of her ship another year as she credited his trader skills. Jeremiah was beginning to see how his relationship would lead to his own starship sp he smiled and said thanks. He kept his gear in the captain’s cabin and headed to The Naked Gypsy. He, after all, and an annual tradition to keep with a glass of rum and a pretty girl of his choosing.

Megatraveler Notes:

Start:

Free Trader Captain Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O5 – Captain   Terms Served: 3

UPP: A67A84   Age: 32  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 2, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Trader-2, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 7, Bonus Money: 62,500 Cr.

Year Fourteen:

Roll for position availability: 8  + 1 for Intelligence = 9 – position available, serves as Captain.

Roll for assignment: 3 + 1 for Social 5- = 4 – Exploratory Trade Assignment

Survival Roll: 8  – Survives.

Skill Roll: 8 – Skill acquired.

Bonus:  7 + 1 for Trader-2 –  Bonus. Rolls – 6 – 25,000Cr

Roll for Skills: (1 for skill roll) – Rolls on Merchant Life Table: 1 – Brawling-1

Year-End:

Free Trader Captain Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O5 – Captain   Terms Served: 3

UPP: A67A84   Age: 33  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 2, Brawling-1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Trader-2, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 7, Bonus Money: 87,500 Cr.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Writing Against Anxiety” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day! 

Journal Entry:

Most of my bucket list items under business involve writing.  I am a writer and I need to become a published one on more than my little blog here.  That requires becoming a writer in the sense of the quote above.  I have gotten to the point where when I write it is as natural as breathing.  What I haven’t yet achieved is the not writing makes me anxious except for this blog. In the last year or so I have developed that in my life but I need it to be true for both my writing away from the blog and my reading.

I keep needing to develop the discipline of it so that 3eventually it becomes second nature to write a few thousand words a day.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Principle: To walk in the spirit of independence by being my own master and no one else’s

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

Nine years from now I want to look up at a small shelf wherever I ma living and see five books with my name on them in published form. Not a simple task but proof that any identity I develop revolves around a central core of being a writer.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

I still have two years before this one is due but it simply means writing the novel which I have done one already (It’s an awful little thing) I just need to take the lessons learned and write a second and get it published.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I don’t need much in the way of a place to live.  I just want it to be my own, be secluded and quiet and have all the things I need to be healthy and happy.  part of that would probably be a place to write or more importantly more places to write. A writer’s house with many options for a quiet writing place.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I am trying to be fair to myself. This last year has been a dreaming year and it continues but once March 2020 comes around the dreams need to start taking form for progress to be made.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

Next week it will be time to look closer at these routines.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Ghost Dryad” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 22

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

Rogue Wizard’s Journal – November 5th, 2019

Yesterday I spoke about what happened according to my girls after I was hit with the death spell by the necromancer Death Angels.  I need to now speak about what happened to me while unconscious because it needs to be written down before the nature of it slips away.   Before my emotions about it swallow up the memory of it.

I spoke before of how my consciousness slipped away and I fell down ‘dead’.  I found though that I was not feeling too much death, but rather peace and love. It was a strange feeling and then as I lay there with my eyes closed I heard a voice.

“Edward”

I knew that voice instantly and in my excitement, my eyes fluttered open.  I was shocked at what I saw because I wasn’t in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan anymore. I was in The Red Tree Grove.  Like it was when I was young.  Full of life, trees, ferns, birds, squirrels, and bright colors. There was the tree not too far away.  Large like an oak, but covered in red maple leaves and white birch like bark.  A truly unique tree. Majestic and making anyone standing next to it feel small and very young.

My eye focused however on the throne part of the tree was in front of.  There she was sitting – Elpis.  She was covered in the same birch park skin as the tree so it was hard at first to see her but the red hair like the color of the tree’s leaves set her off a little.

She stood up and walked toward me and as she did the bark skin was shed and revealed the naked woman beneath.  Her body was short but the kind of sensual curvy that made a lump in my throat every time. Large breasts with cute nipples and nice curvy backside.  Her round face dripped innocence but eyes that were deep and spoke of long years of life but youth at the same time. Her hair was brown, but it could have been any color she liked.  She changed the color and length often.  Her smile beamed right into my heart.

She was not so much the gorgeous dryad of legend but the young teen girl and ancient matron all rolled into one. The experience of meeting Elpis is something people do not forget. I know the first time I did, I fell hopelessly in love with her.

“Hello Edward, it is good to see you again. You got old. Still, look good though”

For the first time, I realized I was naked myself and for once felt old.  The last time I was in her presence I had been eighteen. Now my body had suffered the years of a few decades of mortality.  I hoped at that moment I wasn’t a disappointment to her. But there was an old deep emotion that began to take over in me.  I crossed the few feet that separated us and took her in my arms and hugged her.  Crushed her really and kissed her hard. When the kiss stopped I whispered in her ear.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Edward.”

She kissed me this time and then breaking away she took me by the hand and led me to the side of the tree where we used to make love.  She pulled me close to her and we made love again.  I will not speak of the details here.  That is my memory and one I will cherish for all my remaining life.  When we were done she spoke again as we lay in each other’s arms on the soft grass.

“Well Edward, you are still good at that. Better actually”

“I had a good woman teach me.  She was wonderful and gentle with me. I have missed her.”

Elpis teared up but then she took a breath and spoke.

“I don’t have much time. I can’t maintain this reality much longer and soon I will be gone. The powers have granted us this one moment to say goodbye for good.”

I began to cry and she took me in her arms again.

“I took the death ray for you, Edward.  I possessed you and took the death intended for you. You will live, but I am now finally dead and at peace.  My regret is that I will have to leave you behind again.  I don’t know if we will see each other again.  I don’t know so many things about what is after death.  I do know that you will go back to Lunette and Amber and you need to love them and let them love you.  The moment you live is all you really have so live life.”

“Elpis, there is so much I want to say.”

“Edward, sweet Edward.  There is no time.  ‘I love you’ is enough. close your eyes.”

I closed them reluctantly taking in one last look at Elpis’ face.

“I love you, Edward.”

“I love you, Elpis.”

I felt her lips against mine as we held each other in the grass and then the feelings of her body and lips next to mine faded away.  When I awoke, she and the grove were completely gone and I was laying on an open empty field that stretched as far as I could see. I began to weep. I wish things had turned out very differently. So much do I wish that.

It wasn’t but a few moments that I felt the tug of mortality pulling me back to the real world. When I woke up, I had Amber hovering over me and she started to cry as she held me.  I was crying too, but for a very different reason.

I am alive because of Elpis’ sacrifice.  I guess she lived up to her name after all by giving me hope in the midst of death.

I am a little emotionally distraught after writing this so I will break for now and try to write the rest tomorrow.

Writer’s Notes:

This was a hard part to write.  The emotions were pretty high on this one. Elpis is a character based on Miss Salty and the connection is very emotional.  I never built a  series like the Hedge Wizard of Redberg which contained: 1) Love for a woman, 2) My own life and 3) my favorite genre of fantasy fiction – urban fantasy.  It was a labor of love for someone and I never have done that before.  It ended abruptly when the whole affair between Miss Salty and I came to light.  I had to literally delete the blog and everything on it because people were reading it as reality. 

Which is why I make this final note. There is no love scene in either the Hedge Wizard of Redberg or Rogue Wizard that has ever been real.  They are fantasy, perhaps longing and desire at times, but never real life. 

Now, I truly do need to take a break.  But I wanted to send Elpis off as she deserved –  a heroine with a deep love for Edward at the end. As a character, she was a labor of love I will never forget. I did weep like this when Miss Salty left me and now I will probably at least cry again.  There are a few more scenes to Epilogue this series and bring closure, but Elpis had more act to play and I sent her out the way I wanted to, the way she deserved, and not by someone else’s hand.

Elpis means “Hope”.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Lonely Milestones” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 24

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Introduction:

I know some of you are probably expecting Space Tramp and I do apologize for not having it this week.  I am really struggling with inspiration for writing and the issue of my muse is going to come up soon in my writing.  Its why I am trying to finish both Rogue Wizard and Space Tramp in the next couple of months because I am trying to get a completely new fantasy series going that creates a muse of sorts.  Or more concretely explores the topic of inspiration so I can find a source for it that is more consistent.

I have a few things to talk about in this edition of The Grey and The Wayfarer.   1) Some Milestones for the Blog, 2) My Loneliness and 3) A Personal Reflection on Therapy.

Blog Milestones:

Some good news upfront.  1) This blog actually past 500 posts a couple of weeks ago.  Now I can say I do have a bit of content.  2) Yesterday I hit the 100 WordPress follower mark.  I want to thank everyone for reading and following.

My Loneliness:

The Grey for the last few weeks has brought about loneliness I can’t describe other than to say that no matter what I do I can’t shake the feeling.  I don’t know if it is the realization of mortality or perhaps simply a broken heart still bleeding on the inside. I miss some people being in my life more consistently but there is the need in my heart for someone who truly gets me.

I either did have that for a few months in 2018 or thought I did and I miss it terribly. There is still a hole in my life from a relationship that is now gone and I am still dealing with it.  It’s the same observation that I have had that I long for a relationship that is intimate on a more instinctual emotional level.  But my heart is guarded by attack dogs, a wall of Trust No One and staying distant for fear of being hurt again.

I hate being INFJ where you can read other emotions on people like a book and even have my own emotions mimic theirs.  The only time I know what I am truly feeling is when I am alone and then when I try to express it verbally to others, it comes garbled or not at all because I don’t want to trouble others with my feelings. Only writing them seems to work.

The lonely wanderer is who I am and I both love and hate it. There is a wisdom to it.  There is loneliness I can’t describe to it as well.  I am glad I have a support group, a job coach and a therapist to talk me through things. But at the same time, they can’t fix my problems, I have to do that.

Therapy Reflections:

Of course, some of you are wondering at this point – ‘what about his wife?”  My wife is a wonderful person and I know she loves me and I love her.  It is just with all the changes to me and my outlook on life I am starting to feel trapped again by this marriage.  There is no common core goal for this marriage anymore and that is largely my fault because I am the one that has changed so much.  I like change – life is a journey of constant change and I embrace that and it is hard to live with someone who would rather have stability and security.  Nothin wrong with those things, they just are not me anymore.  They also are not real to me anymore.

This is why even though our relationship is much better as far as friendship and intimacy, it still leaves something to be desired from my perspective.  Once again because of my changed worldview.  My wife and I got married because we were Christians and called into the ministry and everyone told us we would be good ministry partners. We were also secretly personally guilt driven into marriage because we were having sex for months before we were married. In the mindset we were brought up in; once you fuck you better get married or you’re sinning against a holy god. There was no consideration of compatibility or common interest.  It is why some look at us and don’t get it. I at times feel that way too.

That is why in therapy the majority of focuses on what my new identity is now to deal with the loneliness question and a lot of questions on how to make this marriage work despite widely diverging values.  My wife seems content but I know I am restless.  Very restless. I don’t want to get to the point where I hate my life and marriage and all that goes with them again.  But if something doesn’t change soon, that is where I will be.  I know myself much better now and the danger is very real.

Thanks for reading all that if you did.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Rogue Wizard Delay and Other Notes” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 23

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sols’ Day!

Rogue Wizard Delay:

No, it is not an accident there is a delay in the next chapter of Rogue Wizard and this is a The Grey and The Wayfarer post for The Rabyd Skald.  It’s connected to the fact that the more I think about writing this next chapter, the more the Grey seems to hit me.  It seems to be one of those moments where I have a choice about facing the Grey and walking through it – it needs to be done.  But when I do this is up to me.

Writing is therapy for me, as many of you know.  Sometimes it is unpleasant and has to be done. Other times it flows.  I this case I know what I want to do and what should be done and they are the same. The problem is the process of writing is going to be an emotional roller coaster. So I am having trouble,  but I will have it done by next week but not this week. Apologies.

Support Group:

My support group is working out very well. I mean it is great to have fellow former clergy to talk to who are also non-believers in anything.  It makes everyone relatable and a lot of them have been through the process and at a later age than me so they help out a lot in keeping my feet on the ground and standing.

My Therapist: 

My therapist and I have had two sessions.  Doing it on Skype allows me to see her and she can see me so it gives me a genuine reactions both ways.  She is a good listener and hasn’t been judgmental at all.  Mostly though she has listened to me and thinks that next session we can start working on a plan.  The main two issues I deal with on this level are my change of identity and my marriage.

Job Coach: 

Through The Clergy Project, I also have job help for my career change.  I decided that even though I could use a new job soon to go more organic and find what fits me as well.  I don’t want to be doing a job I hate just to pay the bills anymore. So what do I enjoy and can make money at the same time is a journey of discovery and my job coach is taking me on and she is really thinking January or February which still is within my goal of having this done by March.

Reading List:

I was reminded by my wife that there are many books on my shelf that I have not read and should read them. So new books only when needed to keep the pattern of a non-fiction book; then a fiction book.  I haven’t been doing well on this yet, but I have started. Mostly though it is going to be a process of going through my library and pulling out things I haven’t read and putting them together to work through the rest of this year and next.

Writing Books:

I have come to the conclusion that I need to do my book writing like I do this blog.  I need about 3-5 projects at once and rotate them so boredom does not set in. Basically, I have three non-fiction books and two fiction in the hopper now.  I try to make progress on one or more every day.  It is the word count that matters.

Final Word:

Thanks for everyone’s patience.  My emotions tend to dominate my writing more than other things in my life. I have been able to be consistent on this blog, but other things need consistency too. Thanks for reading.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Captain On Deck” – Space Tramp – Chapter 15

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Story:

Jeremiah Kilwood looked at his new uniform in the mirror. He had purchased it with part of his bonus money but a good chunk had gone into investments. It has been a good year and a surprising one as well.  Countess Borgosman had hired him to be the captain of her newly purchased Suibstidized merchant and it had been an interesting year of speculative trading on planets where her holdings were.

It had taken him by surprise when she called a couple days after his promotion celebrations and it was a welcome one that he was going to find a position so easily.  The speculative route was hopefully going to take the resources of the Countess’s holdings and fiefs and make them a little more profitable by trading on the open market with them  Jeremiah was tasked with examining these resources and finding the best interstellar trade routes from a profitability standpoint.

This last year had been him doing just that and it was a fairly safe operation.  The beauty also was finding a crew was not necessary as the countess handled that part.  All Jeremiah had to do was run the ship and engage in the trades personally.  The Countess stayed on Regina and he took the stars. The subsidized merchant The Borgosman Lady was clean and smelled new.

It was a good first command in many respects in that the crew was skilled and respectful despite his youth as Captain.  He learned much fo the command responsibilities were more a matter of routine than any major leadership decisions. His main decisions were trade-oriented while at the same time keeping the passengers list full as well.  He then made sure each crewman did what they were supposed to do. He rarely had a problem.

In the end, he created about five major trade routes between the countess’ holdings and other systems.  It was quite profitable and the whole crew and himself were treated to a solid bonus. The countess thanked him and then told him that she had others taking over the routes and she might have another assignment for him next year but he would have to wait and see. So he gathered his belonging into his bag and threw it over his shoulder and headed to The Naked Gypsy.

He had a few drinks and headed upstairs and found a girl that had horizontal skills and as it turned out a sense fo fashion as she told him a captain should probably have a nicer uniform.  So after they had sex she helped him find something simple but more high-end than before.  It was nice and comfortable as well.,  The five pips on his shoulders in a circle was a nice touch. He liked it and it looked smart.  The girl was right, he looked much better, like a leader.

He looked back at the girl sleeping.  She was naked and lying face up so he was getting a good look at her assets.  He smiled and took the uniform back off and slipped in the bed next to her.  One more time before he headed out. After all, things rarely stay the same so it’s important to enjoy the moments.

Megatraveler Notes:

Start:

Free Trader Captain Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O5 – Captain   Terms Served: 3

UPP: A67A84   Age: 31  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 2, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Trader-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 7, Bonus Money: 52,500 Cr.

Year Fourteen:

Roll for position availability: 9  + 1 for Intelligence = 10 – position available, serves as Captain.

Roll for assignment: 9 + 1 for Social 5- = 10 –   Speculative TradeeAssignment

Survival Roll: 11  – Survives easily.

Skill Roll: 7 – Skill acquired.

Bonus:  8 –  Bonus. Rolls – 5 – 10,000Cr

Roll for Skills: (1 for skill roll) – Rolls on Free Trader Service Table: 2  – Trader-2

Year-End:

Free Trader Captain Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O5 – Captain   Terms Served: 3

UPP: A67A84   Age: 32  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 2, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Trader-2, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 7, Bonus Money: 62,500 Cr.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Captain Kilwood” – Space Tramp – Chapter 14

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Story:

Jeremiah stared at the five pips on his shoulders in the mirror and felt a surge of pride.  He had done it, achieved Captain rank at the earliest possible time one could at age 31.  The exam had not posed any problems and he was given an oral review by several captains. When all was said and done, he was lead to a ceremony where he was presented with his Captian pips and congratulated by the Captains who reviewed him.  He was still trying to take it all in.

This last year had been a simple route assignment, but the captain, one Nathan Briggs, of the far trader The Jasmine Hopper was determined to give his 1st Officer Jeremiah Kilwood a full experience by not only placing him on the bridge to be his Pilot and Navigator, but he also handled all duties involving cargo (buying and selling it) and securing passengers for each voyage.  This brought him into contact with a lot of various types of people, administration and those trying to move their cargo.  He was Captain in many respects in all but name this last year.

He learned a lot about the business wend of running a starship and it was a good route assignment but not as profitable as he had hoped so No bonus. But he wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. He kept the staterooms and low berth cold sleep beds full.  They always had cargo.  he navigated the customs agents like he navigated the stars and his experience with dock workers helped with the cargo issues.

Jeremiah had made a couple decisions as well. Firstly, he decided to forgo starting to take anagathic drugs to slow down the aging process.  The expense would cut into his ability to get a Starship and he figured he was still in great shape and could start taking them later if he wished. The second decision was to commit himself to full retirement which would provide a pension if he served a couple more terms.

Right now though the moment was overwhelming as he stepped out of the Free Trader Guild Headquarters and headed for The Naked Gypsy.  He had done it – made captain and now Captain Jeremiah Kilwood wanted to celebrate.  When he arrived at the Gypsy he recognized a whole lot of old comrades from various ships and sure enough, there was a party planned in his honor.

Drinks flowed and he had a hard time drinking so much so he sometimes poured it aside into a plant or another person’s drink when they were not looking.  Even so, he still was not exactly clear-headed halfway through the night.

Captain Juros had come in form her retirement home in the country and hugged him properly and said she was so proud of him.  When he checked his messages, there were several congratulating him from old shipmates as well as the Countess who was on Regina at the time and saw the announcement.  She apparently still kept tabs on him.

Eventually, the evening wore on to the point people went home and he found himself ready for his annual ritual of heading to the brothel.  He found however that he didn’t have to pay as madam Anabelle took him by the hand and lead him to her room for the evening – on the house.

He woke the next morning with her naked body still entwined with his.  His thoughts turned quickly to his finding a starship owner who needed a captain.  This would be his new life now and it filled him with a little fear and excitement.  Being in charge of a starship himself for the very first time.  From a promotion standpoint, there was only one left, and that was becoming Senior Captain and he wouldn’t be eligible for that until next term. For now, he kissed Anabelle ever so gently and began running his hands along her back, he was still young enough for a second round this morning.

Megatraveler Notes:

Start:

Free Trader 1st Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O4 – 1st Officer   Terms Served: 3

UPP: A67A84   Age: 30  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 6, Bonus Money: 52,500 Cr.

Year Thirteen:

Roll for position availability:  7 + 1 for Intelligence = 8 – position available, serves as 1st Officer

Roll for assignment: 6 + 1 for Social 5- = 7 –   Route Assignment

Survival Roll:  5 – Survives.

Skill Roll: 7 – Skill acquired.

Roll for Promotion: 9 – promoted to Captain.

Bonus:  5 –  No Bonus.

Roll for Skills: (2 for skill roll and promotion) – Rolls on Officer Skills: 6 – Liason-2, Rolls Free Trader Service: 4 – Economic Cascade: picks Trader-1

1 Brownie Point for promotion:

Year-End

Free Trader Captain Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O5 – Captain   Terms Served: 3

UPP: A67A84   Age: 31  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 2, Navigation – 2, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Liaison- 2, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Trader-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Handgun – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 6, Bonus Money: 52,500 Cr.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!