Fantasy

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 9 – Avoiding vs. Facing (Plus Some Writing Notes)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin) Day

I haven’t given a family warning for a while, but the rest of this post probably has one.  I am simply going to be very real for a bit with my feeling about what was going on last year and how it affects me now. If you want to know simply what my writing plans are then you can scroll down to that and start reading there. I will give it a headline.

I wouldn’t give you a nickel for how I felt this past weekend..  I knew memories of last year at this same time were going to be rough, but this is downright painful at times.  Like pins under your fingernails painful.  Then to protect myself from said pain, I go Grey. That feeling of nothing being preferable to the pain and sadness. I hate when people say – “Get over it” or “Move on”.  I think to myself when I hear this: “Yes, this is where I want to be.  To have a choice between sorrow and nothing,  Yeah, this is fun.”  People who say such things, don’t have a fucking clue, and they should probably just learn some shit about depression and then shut up and be thankful you don’t fight this particular battle.

I am conflicted at times as to what strategy to employ as far as dealing with memories. There are simply times; I note, there is no way not to be triggered. So avoiding the memory is not an option.  But then how to confront and face them then?  The real problem of course is not all my memories are bad ones.  There was some good things taking place through a certain relationship last year, it is just the relationship that was doing some of those good things was ‘toxic’ or ‘wrong’.  I don’t know how else to express it, but there were some good things happening for me but other people might say it wasn’t good how it was happening.

I wasn’t moping around in April of 2018, I was actually feeling quite confident and good.  My female friend at the time was helping me deal with things that were a bummer and I was loving her for it. She was keeping the Grey at bay for me or maybe my love for her was, I don’t know. I still miss that friendship, and it hurts that it is gone.  Probably always will.

Unfortunately, we both took things too far.  We let our friendship grow into something else. Something far more intimate emotionally than was probably safe for both of us.  But I think given the state of my marriage at the time; I probably didn’t care as much then as I would now.  Our counselor said my affair was actually pretty typical. Marriage sucked, you didn’t feel loved, you hurt.  Someone else expresses love for you in some way and you are drawn to them like a moth to flame. Nothing special, happens all the time.  Sounds common and base; something I dislike, but there it is.

This weekend was rough because I was; as I often do, sifting through my Facebook memories and there was her name.  Something I had tagged her in.  Fuck it but if it didn’t trigger an immediate emotional response.  A mix of sadness, loss, grief and who knows what else. It is the kind of emotions you get when something good has turned bad or died. The whole thing hurt again and I wanted to crawl up inside and die.  But I didn’t, I kept going. I have to.  It’s all I know. I turned on the Grey and went forward choosing to feel nothing and not all that. Weird thing this time I couldn’t keep it on all the time.  I kept alternating between nothing and sadness. It sucked. I actually cried once.

Despite this, I have concluded avoid things is not an option.  I will not do that.  Let Facebook and other memories come. I need to learn to deal with this.  Let it make me stronger. Let it make me handle The Grey better. I just know this is really the small shower before the storm that will be later this spring and then this summer. It is the warm up and if I can’t learn how to handle this now, the time between now and the end of August is going to seriously suck. Well, it’s going to suck regardless, but I need to learn how to face it so I keep going and that it sucks less.  That’s all for now.

Time to talk about writing.

Writing Notes:

I have a struggle with the non-Fiction book that I am trying to resolve.  Here is the thing, I could be one helluva critic of Religion in general and The Bible and Christianity in particular.  I could write books that would seriously challenge both and possibly make a shit ton of money doing it. It would make all the past learning and experiences as a minister not feel like such a waste of time, if I could use them to build a new future with writing books.  The flip side is I still have a lot of friends who are religious and Christians, including my wife. This would seriously put some shit out there between us.  At the same time I feel what they believe is a fraud and their lives would be better without it.  Shit.

My novel is a little easier. But at the same time genre is important. I have written every fiction genre at one time or another.  Even ones I didn’t really care for and by writing them I found out that I didn’t really care for them.  My best bet would probably be to create a fantasy setting and go with that.  The reason is you can do anything with that.  But my passion is modern fantasy.  What to choose?  I also should note I won’t be writing this novel for a children’s or young adult audience – definitely adult stuff.  So yep – adult situations, sex, and violence.

As far as the blog goes, I am going to try to get out two installments of Rogue Wizard.  One for Thursday and one for Friday.  It’s time for them.  The timeline shift is going to cause the character based on me to have a major life change so that nothing in his life will relate to what is going on in my real life. The purpose of this is to change the nature of the story into something that is pure fiction.  Or mostly pure as the kind of decisions my alter ego would make will still be based on what I would really do in that situation.

Walking The Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Races and Creatures – Giants

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I suppose the imagery of a giant is pretty universal but as we will see there is a controversy about it when it comes to Norse Mythology. Giants are the primary antagonists in most of the stories of the gods in Norse mythology.  The frost giants take prominence but there are also other types of giants.  Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition’s Monster Manual lists six types of giants – Cloud, Fire, Frost, Hill, Stone and Storm.  It might be argued that all of these have some  from ideas found in Norse mythology.

See the source image

But the question starts pretty early as regards if the Norse people actually conceived these giants as ‘giants’.  The problem is one of translation and when Christians began to translate the word for ‘giant’ they may have bastardized it by adding the Greek mythology concepts and used the word for ‘giant’ that reflected this change.  What you see then is a mutation of the original Norse Idea and the Greek idea of titans.

See the source image

The original concept in the Norse may simply have been beings that represented the forces of Chaos. When you look at some of the giants you get that – Storm, Fire, Frost, Hills, Stone and Clouds are forces of nature that are both large and powerful.  Both needed for survival, but also feared because of their destructive nature at times.  The “giants” are simply personification of these forces.  They may or may not have been large humanoids to the Norse people.  It would make more sense if they were not.

See the source image

The reason I say it would make more sense if they were not, is  the simple fact that the gods and goddesses mate with giants and produce offspring. Sex between two individuals of great difference in size becomes problematic, unless the Norse people didn’t really have the concept of giants being large humanoids but rather simple humanoids that personified certain powerful natural forces.  To the Norse people the gods and the giants may simply been the same size just representing on the one hand forces of order and civilization (the gods), and on the other, the raw natural forces of the world (the ‘giants’).

What I am saying is that the whole notion of these ‘giants’ being large humanoid like creatures might be a later addition.  This would explain why later writers had to give some of the gods the ability to shape shift and change size.  But the original myths may not have had this at all. The my simply have been referring to ‘giants’ as those being who represented the great powers of nature.

See the source image

To me this makes the parings of some of the gods and giants interesting because it represents symbolically the need for the forces of civilization and humanity, if you will, to sometimes cooperate and draw strength from the chaotic forces of nature.  That sometimes the ‘children’ of these paring represent both sides of that equation such as Loki pairings with the giantess that produced Fenrir, Hel,  and Jormungandr.  All of these Children have their chaotic element but there is also the ability to think and speak beyond the base animal that they represent in the case of Fenrir and Jormungandr. Hel herself is human like but represents that primal force of Death, but also her realm is orderly and well thought out.

It is why in Norse mythology all of the gods and giants are the product of a an original giant.  That out of the primal forces of nature came the forces of order and chaos. Both are necessary and both can be in conflict or in love (lust) for each other.  To me it speaks of how the Norse people could recognize that; in all things, some necessary things were present. Fire is a primal natural force that is dangerous; but without it, civilization and technology is simply not possible. The earth and hills can be wild and dangerous places; but without the earth we mine and the trees we cut down, we would not have tools or shelter. The mythology reflects this idea of necessary harmony, even tough at times those forces are a threat to each other.

See the source image

In our world the giants represent much the same.  Large chaotic forces that must be fought and overcome. The show up in a lot of places in fantasy mythology.  But the idea of being primal natural forces is pretty interesting and we see that too.  For me though I prefer if the giants remain as the larger than life humanoids. It just makes the battles more epic. Courage is a necessary thing when facing them. Every movie or book that uses them reflects this.  Or on rare occasions we find a giant that is actually gentle who desires to help but his great power can unintentionally cause harm.  Thus even when we bend such forces to our will, there is still a danger because of their nature.

All important lessons taught to us through the giants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Gods and Goddesses – The Norse Pantheon

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Saturn’s Day

The center piece of course of Norse mythology is the characters that play on its stage and that is the Gods and Goddesses of the pantheon.  The interesting thing about the gods and goddesses of Norse mythology is that they are very real.  Some critics of such pantheons say that these gods are all too human, but then again so is the jealous and vengeful god of the Bible. The point of such stories is not to be historically accurate or factual but to be morality plays that people think on.  Religion dwells in the realm of ethics and one has to wonder if the stories are the smart clergyman’s way of illustration of the values people are trying to pass on.

The Norse God’s family tree is complicated.  Like most myths the central characters are not the first generation.  Rather they are often the third and fourth generation.  There is also the complication of the fact that the Norse Pantheon also has two separate races of gods the Aesir and the Vanir.  Plus the Gods often mate with the giants producing offspring.  So most people can relate to such gods as the whole family question seems to be pretty relative. The whole Vanir /Aesir question seems to be the result at least as far as I understand it of two mythologies of different parts of the Scandinavian / Germanic world merging.  The result is a little confusion but it makes for an interesting story in and of itself when Freya, who is Vanir, is sent as an exchange to Asgard which is the home of the Aesir.

The stories of the Norse Gods are quite extensive but they have a couple challenging issues. 1) The goddesses do play prominently very often and so their personalities as far as characters in the story or even a full idea of what their sphere and powers are is sometimes missing. 2) There are gaps in the stories like there are supposed to be more of them but they were not written down. My guess is that there are tons of stories that were told but only a few were preserved.

From my perspective as a writer this is a blessing in some ways because I can fill in the gaps when I use Norse mythology and no one can really bitch about it. I can for instance take what little is known about the goddess Hel for example and then fill in the gaps with my own imagination which is what I did in this post: The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 5 – Evil Intent (Hel).  I can also do this with other blank spots in the story and characters.  So Norse mythology becomes a rich backdrop that my imagination as a writer can fill in the blank spots. It is primarily why The Grey Wayfarer will center on female goddesses because I can fill in the gaps and there are a lot of gaps.

In popular culture of course the Norse Pantheon is prevalent from the comics all the way to books and movies and has been so for a long time. The influences of this pantheon are seen in other characters indirectly as well.  JRR Tolkien’s Gandalf the Grey is certainly inspired in part by Odin.  There are simply tons of this kind of thing in fantasy literature and that is kind of my reason for delving into it.  To find my own inspiration for my own characters and writing.

There is also the fact that a religion built around a warrior culture is fascinating.  It is amazing to me how many of this pantheon are gods and goddesses of battle or war. I would say very few of them could not be invoked before a battle by a Viking, and that makes conflict a central aspect of the pantheon.  War and battle are common but also politics and diplomacy. Adventure in these stories is often high and powerful.

In the future the Gods and Goddess’ section of Crossing Bifrost will center on a singular god or goddess.  There basically will be dossier of them and then some thoughts about them from my perspective.  My goal is to draw inspiration with Crossing Bifrost and this section will be no different. I will probably start with Odin of course and then work radially out from him.  It seems if there is one thing that binds the whole thing together is the All-Father.

As always I claim no expertise here.  I am still learning and reading but I want to keep a record of my thoughts as I do.  The goal of Crossing Bifrost is to record my journey in understanding this rich mythology, not necessarily to educate.  If while I am doing that you are inspired and learn something then that is a bonus for me.

I hope you continue to enjoy this.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Races and Creatures – Dökkálfar (Dark Elves)

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Dark elves in Norse mythology are the elves that live under the earth. The are called Dökkálfar in the Scandinavian tongue. They dwell in Svartalfheim which is realm just under Midgard.  It is one of those realms that is debatable as this is not one of the nine worlds in some people’s’ minds.  But it a realm that is perhaps part of another.

All elves are kind of demi-god in status and the Dark Elves are no different.  They have incredible powers and the dark elves had powers that as time went by became more malevolent in nature than benevolent like the light elves that dwell in the realm above Midgard. The dark elves are described initially as swarthy. But as time goes by you get the pale red-eyed version that is common today in most people’s minds.  They were also connected to the realm of Helheim and the dead.

These dark elves were often connected to wrong things happening.  From tangled hair to strokes, they were the cause of these things.  They had a dark and strange magic to them. As Christianity became more prevalent they became associated with the underworld.  Mostly this is what causes confusion about the dark elves. because they are not always seen as malevolent. but often are cast as the outcast role as well.  A cursed but powerful race is a common theme.

In modern times this plays out in probably the two best known examples of dark elves – The Drow in the Dungeons and Dragons universe which are malevolent worshipers of the Spider Queen and the Dunmer in the Elder Scrolls universe which are more of a changed and cursed race.  Outcasts and mistrusted though is a common theme for both because both races have some unique and at times troubled morality.

The inspiration for both these and other incarnations of the dark elves stretches back into Norse mythology with the Dökkálfar. When you read about Drizzt in Forgotten Realms or are playing your Dunmer character in Skyrim, you are part of a tradition of a race of beings that stretches back to the middle ages.

From a writing standpoint, I have used dark elves very infrequently. I hesitate because this race is often complex and more that the simple black and white most races have with morality.  Is there hatred of the surface dwellers justifiable?  Is the curse placed on them of being mistrusted justified?  It becomes a complex riddle when developing characters especially when you are trying to create a main protagonist that is a dark elf. I am looking to my first novel for publication and I am thinking of a dark elf character as the main protagonist.

Contrary wise, next to the Nords, my favorite Skyrim Race is the Dunmer. I play dark elf characters quite a bit.  Mostly because they can be very Chaotic and freedom loving and also remain completely flexible as far as goods and evil, so they can do good and evil quests with equal rational reasons for their character development.

I find them fascinating and as protagonists and antagonists the one thing you can say is they are formidable advisories. I don’t imagine that they will part from the realm of fiction anytime soon. For that I am very glad.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – The Norse World: Yggdrasil – The World Tree

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Today I want to look at the universe from the perspective of Norse Mythology.  Basically, the Norse and Germanic people looked at the universe as one big tree.  I will get into the creation myths of the Norse people later.  Mostly this post is about the world as they understood it; basically, how they thought it was.

Yggdrasil is the central tree of the entire cosmos.  It is a living ash tree and considered as such to be very holy.  Ash being very sacred to pagans.  It is an immense tree that either connects the nine worlds or each part of the tree is the nine worlds depending on the viewpoint.  I can see the theological debates in the Norse people starting with this one.

The tree itself is where everything happens when it comes to the gods and their dealings with other immortals and mortals.   The tree is supported by three immense roots that are each connected and thus fed by three major springs.

The god Odin claims in the mythology to remember when the world tree was small and young. It is also the tree he hung from for nine days to gain knowledge of the runes to aid him in his fight during Ragnarök. Based on how it is described in the ancient sources I would say I would lean toward the idea the world tree connects the nine worlds and probably serves as their skeleton that holds them together. When you also consider that the Bifrost Bridge itself connects the tree to other worlds like Asgard you begin to see this notion as well.

The notion of sacred trees is very strong in a lot of mythology. The idea of a Tree of Life is pretty much central to the three Abrahamic Religions.  Trees that provide life figure prominently in many other mythologies from Ancient Middle Eastern religions to China to Hinduism. The idea of sacred trees is very universal. It is no surprise here to me that the Tree of Life is literally the tree of all life.

For my purposes at this point it is important to establish that the Norse people believed that by traveling the tree one could travel between the nine world.  You could also do this by traveling the Bifrost Bridge, but mostly you see gods and goddesses travel the branches and roots of the tree from one realm to another.  Each of these nine realms or worlds was home to different races and each had a different nature.  as we further look at the Norse World we will look at each of these in detail later.

From a literature perspective, this notion of a world tree still plays prominently. In fantasy, Tolkien’s elves live in such trees and his mythology starts with two trees. This idea of sacred trees is central many other stories. I have used it myself as part of a story involving a dryad, although you can no longer read it.  My point is that this notion of old, living trees being the source of life and central to humanities existence is very human.

I imagine the source of such mythology is when a child asks how long a certain large tree in their life has been there.  Grandmother looks at the child and tells them that she can’t remember a time it was never there. She then tells the story of how she asked the same question of her grandmother and got the same answer. It doesn’t take much to start to believe the tree has always been there and always will be.

In the end, it is said that Yggdrasil will hide the last two survivors of Ragnarök and it and those two survivors will be the seeds of a new world and a new time. The tree lives on no matter what the end of the world scenario plays out as being.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Fiction Plans

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

In the last Rabyd Skald I mentioned my fiction writing plans were in the works and I want to follow-up on that by getting them a little formalized.  When people ask me why I write fiction, my response is pretty much that of all the writing I do, it is the most  therapeutic.  I have written fiction for release of anger, an expression of love, help in fighting depression and just about every other emotional release you can think of I have written fiction as a way to express it.

I also find fiction as a better way to teach concepts to people in the form of educational entertainment. Stories get into people’s heads faster than lectures. Professors are ignored at times but a story-teller they get attention even from the greatest skeptic and if you can slip in lesson that might contain wisdom people can use, so much the better.

As with all things on this blog, it tends to get done if I make a pattern or order to it and I am figuring my fiction writing is no exception.  Part of my daily blogging routine, really the last part of it, is to spend about a half hour writing fiction.  But what to write?  At the present time a short but incomplete list might be:

  1. The Grey Wayfarer Serial – based on Norse mythology.
  2. Rogue Wizard – another serial based on me as a main character but in an alternate timeline from my real life and where magic is very real.
  3. Skald Tales and Poems – This is going to be a type of post where I either write a short story or poem.  Mostly I want to challenge myself with these two things. I have hard time doing things that are short and concise and this should be a good exercise in doing just that,

There may be some other things that join this list but I want to make sure I will be consistent with them before I do add them.  Some ideas are for a science fiction series of some sort. I also want to toy with the idea o something similar to the Theology Pub from All Things Rabyd, but with my change in my belief system, it would be different in nature and probably different characters.  I am not sure of the setting either.  Maybe a mead hall or Inn of some sort with a Skald and a Bartender being the main characters.

As far as pages go for each of my fictional works they don’t tend to get organized by time so much as chapters (usually groups of twenty) for serials.  Skald Tales and Poems will probably be organized into Tales and Poems as two separate categories and then perhaps genre after there are greater numbers of both.  Time will tell on that one.

I want to thank those of you that come here regularly either on WordPress or Facebook.  You are great.  Maybe someday you can say you knew me when.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Why Norse Mythology?

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I became interested in Norse mythology as a teenager.  It was a combination of two factors.

Firstly, I played Dungeon’s and Dragons – 2nd edition.  One of the realms I created as a Dungeon Master at the time was a Norse like realm with the Norse Pantheon in full power.   My character from that realm was what would now be considered a Tempest Priest of Thor named Thane True-Blade.  He had a brother Karic True-Blade who was a devoted follower of Tyr and a fighter.  There was a female thief named Sylvia who was more or less devoted to Loki. You get the idea.

Secondly, there was the Marvel Comic world with Thor the comic book.  No, I haven’t seen the movies.  Reason? Because while the comics and D&D were instrumental in getting me involved in Norse mythology, I soon fell in far greater love with the actual mythology, than how it has been used or inspired other things.

I start each post on The Grey Wayfarer with “Happy Thor’s Day” or “Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day”  This is an example of one of those inspirations.  Our days of the week have four of them that are direct references to Norse gods and goddesses.  It could be argued that Sunday and Monday are as well, but they are also generic references to the Sun and Moon. So we could be dealing with Apollo as much as Sunna/Sol and Luna as much as Mani, depending on which mythology you want to credit. But Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday all have direct reference to Norse mythology.

It is these references along with many others in the western world that draw me to Norse Mythology,  Christianity didn’t erase them all and in fact sometimes embraced them and made them their own.  Our recent celebration to Christmas; for instance, is full of things that are borrowed and plan out stolen from Norse Yuletide.  Those symbols had other meanings but Christianity has taken them and repackaged them for their own use.  I find it however interesting what has survived and why.

Much of western culture and heritage is Norse and no, I don’t find that anything to be ashamed of. In fact, there is a lot to be said for the lessons that Norse Mythology were teaching to its people. Religion shows what cultures value and try to pass on and so studying Norse mythology can help us see what those values were and how they were taught generation after generation.

Unlike the atheist who does not see any value to religion, I don’t take that course.  Religions develop for reasons and not all of them are about manipulation or control.  Part of paganism for me is that there are ‘universal’ truths and principles that religion guards and promotes which benefit society and often at some point they are turned into religion or become part of a religion mostly in an effort to preserve them. Religion for years was also the place where science at a low-level and philosophy was created and preserved and part of that is mythology.  Stories that illustrate those principles and truths. Stories that teach are the stock in trade of mythology and that is not always a bad thing.

There is also the simple fact the Norse Mythology has had tremendous impact on modern culture particularly pop culture involving fantasy writing and movies.  Elves, dwarves, giants, etc. all owe their inspiration to Norse mythology. Comics, movies, art and many other things draw on Norse Mythology.  My writing is definitely influenced by it and has for a long time.  But I am not alone there – Tolkien, CS Lewis, Robert Jordan, and many others join me in that regard.

There is also the fact that  I simply find the Vikings bad ass warriors and a lot of why they did what they did was their mythology.  It is a mythology formed in the harsh realities of the ice, snow and cold of the North.  I understand how these relate all to well having lived in the North of North America all my life.  So I suppose there is a natural resonance with such mythology for me as that mythology of the Norseman provides a common ground. A spiritual connection based on a commonly understood environment, if you will.

My methods of approaching this are much less systematic as those of say Odin’s Eye or Of Wolves and Ravens.  What I think I will find more beneficial is a topical rather than chronological methodology in Crossing Bifrost.  Topic Headings will include, but are not limited to, the following.

The Norse World – Yggdrasil (The World Tree) and Its Realms – Asgard, Midgard, Hel, etc.

Norse Races and Creatures – Elves, Dwarves, Giants, etc.

Norse Gods and Goddesses – Odin, Freya, Thor, Frigg, Loki, etc. This would also include god monsters like Fenrir the Great Wolf and the World Serpent Jörmungandr.

Norse Symbols and Objects – Thor’s Hammer Mjolnir, The Valknut Symbol ,etc.

Norse Culture and History – Probably a little more difficult to define  but topics here might involve how the Norse Mythology influence Viking Culture and History.

Basically I will probably have a sub page under Crossing Bifrost for each of these where appropriate and them probably follow an alphabetical listing on each sub page itself.   The one requirement basically is that it has to relate in some way to Norse Mythology to be posted here.

Hope you enjoy my journey of discover on this subject. If you learn something along the way – well that is good too.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer (Part 4) – Resolution? (And a Few Notes About Writing Plans)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day.  It is Day 3 of Yuletide. This night is sacred to Mani the god of the moon who determines its course each night and determines its phases.  The Night is also sacred to the concept of darkness. This night honors the beginning of the return of the sun.  This is where the yule log tradition is; where hunters light one and jump its flames for luck in the coming year.  It is also a day to remember and honor the virtue of Courage. 

The Grey and the Wayfarer:

It’s been a while since I have written about my depression battle and perhaps it is because this seems to be such a normal thing to me right now and in fact The Grey has been strong, but I have kept walking through it and made it to the other side. I won’t say my problem with depression is resolved as in ended so much as it has been easier to resolve to walk through it.

In large part I have had some struggle this semester in school because of it but I look back and realize that I walked through it and made it and in the process did some good work in school.  Some of it was crap because of the drain of energy The Grey can have at times; but other parts of it were good. I mean I did really well in my international business class and my economics class. I enjoyed both of them which was something that was good.

I have love-hate relationship with my depression.  I love the times where I am coming out of it and there is a burst of creativity and clarity I simply cannot explain.  It’s the fucking valleys that suck that you have to walk through to get to those moments.

Today is about writing as much as depression, as I use writing as a way to fight it.  I find that I can artificially pull myself out of depression by writing.  It’s kind of tool at times to force me to shift from the valley to the mountain. This blog has been an instrument of that several times since its creation.  Well, with time off from school and just having work to go to, I have been thinking about some changes to The Grey Wayfarer’s writing schedule.

Writing Notes: 

Most of the stuff that is scheduled will stay the same: Sun’s Day: The Pagan Pulpit, Moon’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues, Tyr’s Day: Of Wolves and Ravens, Wooden’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues, Thor’s Day: Odin’s Eye, Frigg and Freya’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues.

The problem of course is Saturn’s Day which has been Rogue Wizard and The Grey Wayfarer sharing space.  Sometimes not doing either and doing one of these The Rabyd Skald posts in its place like today has happened too.  I have the additional problem of now that school is over of wanting to write more on the fiction side of the ball.  Not just for the blog either but on the side in that I would actually get my novel done by the end of June.

Now I have done more than just the fantasy type stuff of The Grey Wayfarer serial and the urban fantasy stuff of Rogue Wizard. I have done science fiction and I would like to even do some fiction of a more normal nature.  My mom is a fan of mysteries and thrillers are often enjoyable.  My thing for the blog might be simply Short Stories of various types. I reluctantly admit that doing a poem and commenting on it might be viable as well. My point I that I have a lot of ideas running in my head and I am thinking of how to create  platform to present them.

I just don’t know if my fiction should be confined to a single day anymore and Saturn’s Day should instead be another regular feature.  I want to give that some thought but right now I am leaning toward a weekly discussion of Norse Mythology.  The fiction however might one of those things where I write them in a pattern and when one is finished, it gets posted the as a second post for the day.  What I may simply do is set aside say an hour to a half hour where I just write the fictional stuff each day and when one gets finished to my satisfaction, I will post it.

For you the reader this could be difficult, I mean it means taking what you get and waiting for your favorite to come about which is why using an established order will be employed to make sure I don’t get stuck on one thing. I will tentatively guarantee two of these a week as well. At first I will just do the two fictional series I have been doing and I will announce when something is added.  Just know that there are some changes coming and hopefully they will be good ones.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

 

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 5 – Evil Intent (Hel)

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Saturn’s Day.

Hel sat on her throne brooding over the god standing in front of her.  She was wearing her black robes which hugged every curve of her body which was a shapely.  A body which the right side was simply a beautiful strong Nordic Woman with very pale skin and golden blond hair.  The left side of her body was akin to a freshly dead corpse.  Not the rotting death described in most mythology. Rather deathly pale, Lips on that side were white and her left eye frosted over in death. Hair was white as the grave.  The skin was not broken but had that wrinkled quality of a corpse that had been dead for maybe a few days.  She was a pale looking monster really. Like a living beautiful corpse.

She, however cared little for such things as most of her existence she was the absolute monarch of Helheim, the realm of the dead. Those who died of hunger, thirst, disease and other natural causes found their way to her realm.  The honored dead found their way to Odin’s Valhalla.  The rest of the dead were her’s.  Not that life in Helheim was a terrible one.  It was just life continued only in a world of grey with little pleasure.  She was sure some of its citizens still had sex but it was the dull motions of a temporary relief from boredom.  Mostly people continued to work and exist, but there was no feasting, no mead and very little laughter in Helheim. The only person who seemed to gain any happiness was Hel herself and only when the world of mortals tried to cheat her or make a deal for their souls. She liked such deals and they often actually made her smile.  Something she very rarely did as most of the time she was grim-faced. She was much like her father in her love for such dealings.

Her father was the god standing in front of her throne. Loki, the trickster god. She was his daughter along with her two siblings Fenrir the Great Wolf and Jormungand the world serpent. Fenrir also dwells in Helheim, still bound waiting for the last days and Ragnarok.    The world serpent still surrounded the world, though it was the world of this island realm of Odin’s preservation magic. All Children of Loki and the Giantess Jotunn Andgrboda.  Such an unholy union produced to fierce creatures and only Hel herself even resembled anything human and to most she was a monster as well.

Her father by contrast was a hansom looking god.  His face and body one that women swooned over. His hair long and brown, his face clean-shaven and his grey eyes that would melt the hardest heart.

“Hel, are you even listening daughter?”

“Sorry father, I was thinking of something.”

The voices contrasted.  His masculine and melodic and hers otherworldly and haunting.”

“Damn girl, this is important.  This new human player could ruin everything.”

“I don’t think so father.  I would wager that Odin fears him as much as Fenrir. Frigg seems to think him the one of her dreams.  This Grey Wayfarer.”

“Perhaps, but Ragnarok can be delayed.  How many times delayed now?”

“Too many to count father.  Fenrir grows inpatient.”

“Fenrir is always impatient. Hel, my dear. I have struggled to be the king of the gods now for centuries and with no result.  I have come to see Ragnarok as the only way to have a chance of a new beginning.”

“Or end it all, father. Leave us all with nothing.”

“Better that than the eternal servitude that has been Asgard.  This Grey Wayfarer must be helped along the path toward the end we want, not what Odin wants.”

“Playing with fate father? I thought you would rather set back and see what happens.”

Her tone was sarcastic. She knew full well her father could not help but meddle.”

“So what is your plan father?  Negotiation, tricking him to doing things your way?”

“No daughter, my plan involves throwing you at him.”

“Me, but I would have to leave Helheim.  That has never gone well for me father.”

Truth was her powers were absolute in Helheim, even Odin would think twice about challenging her here.  He after all gave Helheim to her to rule. That changed the moment she stepped beyond is borders. Not powerless to be sure, but far less in power. Vulnerable.

“I know.  But it also necessary for all of us to take risks at this time.  Truth is, I will be taking a few of my own. I want you to befriend him and lead him towards our ends.”

“He will take one look at me and distrust me.  He knows the legends father.  Unlike you, I cannot disguise who I am.”

“Which is why I commissioned the dwarves to make this for you.”

Appearing in his hand was a mask. It was silver and looked the face of the woman.

“What is it?”

I put a little of my shape-shifting power in it.  Hel my dear daughter, this will make your left side look like the other.

“Interesting, but what if I refuse anyway.”

“Worried about the prophecy about you, my girl?”

Hel scoffed looking disgusted.

“What my dear girl.  Is it so impossible that you could fall in love. That the heartless Queen of Helheim might be capable for love after all?”

Hel actually laughed. It was unnerving and the walls of Helheim reverberated with its echo swallowing the mirth of it in absolute sadness.

“If that happens father, the end is truly upon us.”

Loki laughed this time.

“And that is what we want dear daughter.  Fenrir wants to bite Odin, I want the throne of the gods.  The world serpent wants to ultimately feast on the world and you my daughter, what do you want? Yes, the souls of the dead that will die in Ragnarok outside the confines of battle will be legion. Your ranks and power will grow.”

“I already have enough servants.”

“Yes, but how many are like Balder or some of the other warriors you have robbed of Valhalla.  I mean do you ever figure out why he didn’t go to Valhalla?  You have to admit you can appreciate the delicious irony of a great beloved warrior ending up here instead of Odin’s Mead Hall?”

Hel smiled wickedly.  Yes, it had been to her a delicious feast for her soul to see the one greatly loved now wondering her halls with the same lost expression as all the rest.  No feasting, fighting to drinking for Balder. Just the long night of an ordinary life with no end. He father had a point, if she could find the way he missed Valhalla and do it to other great warriors that would be enjoyable.  Robbing Odin and Valkyrie of their champions would bring a smile to her face.  This Grey Wayfarer might be just the one to show her what she needed to do that to a lot more warriors.

“Very well father.  I will do what you ask.  Leave the mask and I will use it.”

“Excellent.  Befriend him and push him our direction.  While you are doing that you will have all the time you need to perhaps uncover the secret to robbing Valhalla of its champions.”

Loki set the mask down next to Hel on the table that held her empty plate and knife. He then smiled that disarming smile at her and then turned and left.  Hel looked at the mask. To have both sides of her look the same.  To just be the beautiful daughter of Loki.  The thought made her feel ‘alive’ like she hadn’t felt in decades. This was a worthy quest. Ragnarok would come and her and her two brothers would know vengeance against Odin and the citizens of Asgard.  The Grey Wayfarer might very well be the key she was looking for.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) -Chapter 4 – Three Gifts (Odin)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Odin frowned.  The whole situation was an odd one.  The man called Beorn Erickson was certainly a brave man.  Magic that can cross the boundaries of world is no small matter and to take on the risk of death was worthy of Valhalla.  The man had courage, if he died in battle the Valkyrie would certainly take him.  Freya would probably do it herself.  Beorn was an old name but Odin had already started to call him his title – The Grey Wayfarer.  It was easier to think of him that way as the man who might bring about Ragnarök.

Odin sat in his chair in front of the fire, pondering.  Frigg was busy getting some gifts ready for The Wayfarer.  Gifts that had been prepared long ago but now needed to be presented.  Foresight was a terrible thing to live with.  The Grey Wayfarer was a man whose death would bring the end, if all the visions Frigg and himself had seen were true.  That last vision of Fenrir’s jaws closing about him had haunted his dreams.

Beorn completely recovered in a couple of days  He was walking about and stretching his limbs.  Odin gave him some small-clothes as well a tunic to wear around the cabin. He certainly had a good appetite and the wolves and ravens had taken a liking to him.  Probably mostly due to the fact that like Odin, the Wayfarer gave them meat as treats.  The two of them would converse and Odin had learned a great deal.

Beorn had acquired the amulet from a wizard of sorts.  He had begun to only suspect its power and then he finally did try to use it a couple of times.  One test had resulted in a great deal of pain.  The time it actually did work, it was extremely painful.  There was a price in pain to be paid to change worlds.  Odin nodded and approved.  He himself had paid the price for knowledge a couple of times.  His missing eye reminded him sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

Finally the day came where the Wayfarer would receive his gifts.  Odin would then set him on the path.

“Beorn, tomorrow you will set out on a journey.  Frigg and I always will offer you hospitality, but there are greater forces at work and your arrival will not be unobserved by those who know magic.”

“I understand.  I too am anxious to begin.  I have felt this wandering in my feet for a long time.  It’s why I came here.  I am looking for something and I don’t know what it is.”

“Destiny is not fate.  Your choices are your own and they will show you the path. I can show you the way, but not your ultimate destination.  I also would not send you on this path without aid.  It is perilous and you can still die.  There is no fate here, just emotion that says certain ends will take place.  We see your end but not the journey.  That journey could be short or long. That is up to you.”

“I must All-Father, thank you and Frigg for your hospitality.  I thank you for your advice and the information you provided me,  I suspect my journey will be long and interesting.”

“You are welcome.  This is only one of my dwellings.  Valhalla is another.  Asgard is still the realm of the gods.  You walk now in Midgard but all the nine realms are represented here.  Remember that and those that dwell in each place.  It may very well be that your path will touch all of them. But now, there are three gifts we wish to give you.”

The first gift was a set of traveling clothes.  It was pants, tunic, boots of leather, a belt of leather.  There was a cape to go over the shoulders that had a hood that could be pulled over the head. The cloth was made of an unknown fabric. Beorn couldn’t place it.  It was a medium grey color.  The whole thing from head to toe. It was comfortable and fit him like a glove.

“The fabric is unique, one of Frigg’s inventions.  It will keep you somewhat warm from the cold but also breathes very well in the heat.  It will keep you from getting wet.  Of course if you fall in a river it will need to dry off but it is resistant to dampness and the elements.  It won’t mold or rot. Is it comfortable?”

“Yeah, like it was tailored for me.”

Frigg was standing behind Odin and she smiled.

“Good. Now I would not set you out on a journey without a way to protect yourself.  So I give you this.”

Odin stood and crossed the room and retrieved a staff of ash wood that had been leaning on the side of the fireplace.

“Like my spear, this staff is made from the ash wood of the world tree. It has other powers but I cannot tell you exactly what they are.  You must discover them as you go on your journey.  For now it is a strong staff and a thus a good weapon to fend off those that would try to rob you or the beasts that would try to eat you.”

Odin handed the staff to Beorn, who when he touched it swore he saw runes appear along it briefly.  The shimmered in a glowing white and then were gone. He looked at Odin.

“Like I said, it has powers, you must discover them.”

Odin sat back down.  Frigg left the room, when she returned she was holding a satchel like handbag. It was made of grey leather.

“I had Frigg make this for you.  Take off your cape and drape it across your shoulder.  Yes, like that.  This satchel is much larger on the inside than it appears outside.  It also reduces the weight of what is inside it significantly.  You can carry a lot in it and it won’t encumber you much.  If you ever get a sword or axe, you can wear them to the appropriate side with the satchel on the other.

“All-Father and Lady Frigg, thank you.  I do not know how to repay your kindness to me or why you are giving it.”

“We have our reasons, but we cannot say what they are.  I can only say these things will make your journey easier in some ways.  Other things we have foreseen will be painful no matter what gift we give.  I suspect the other gods will either help or hinder your journey as they see fit. I trust I do not have to warn you that all of them are here in this place.  Be mindful of who you are dealing with.  The legends you may know may contain some truth but also may contain some falsehoods.”

“I understand All-Father.”

Odin looked at Frigg, seem to hesitate and then he spoke again.

“One last thing.  That amulet is more powerful than you know. It does much more than you have discovered. It is a key that opens doors and allows you, as you have already discovered, to cross boundaries.  Do not take this power lightly and know that many will try to take it from you.  Guard it well.  My advice would be to never take it off.”

Beorn nodded.

That night Frigg laid out a fine meal.  A feast really for the three of them. Odin of course only drank the mead as he never eats.  But Frigg and The Grey Wayfarer ate and all three of them had pleasant conversation.  They agreed that at morning light Beorn would set out on his journey.

After Beorn went to bed.  Odin sat in his chair pondering.  The flames of the fire danced in his eye.  Frigg found her way to his side and placed his hand on his shoulder.  He looked at her and smiled. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her to his lap where she sat wrapping her arms around his neck.  They kissed each other.  After a moment of holding one another Frigg stood up and headed to their bedchamber.

Odin smiled as he watched her walk away.  After all these years, her moving curves still pleased him.  He thought to himself that no greater wife could a man find.  He downed the last of the mead in his cup.  He stroked the ears of his wolves for a minute. Then he stood himself and followed Frigg to the bedchamber. Both the ravens followed him with their eyes.  They cawed softly.  He looked back at them and nodded.  The Grey Wayfarer would begin his journey on the morrow and everything would change.  He entered the bedchamber, the curtain falling behind him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!