Odin’s Eye – Why I Am a Humanist

November 29, 2018November 29, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Introduction:

These days I am looking at being nothing but a human being – hopefully a decent one. As a deist I can acknowledge the possibility of a god, gods or divine force but because of ignorance I don’t really know what they or it is. I just don’t know and I cannot assume that they have done anything more than create the perimeters in which I live and nothing more. I have faced and will continue to face problems in this world, so who do I rely on to help me with those difficulties?

This is where I become a humanist and basically say it is time for the human race to grow up and realize that the only solution to human problems is humanity itself. That if I am going to look to solve my problems, I need to look to me to solve them and if I can join together with other humans to solve mutual problems that may be the only way to solve them. I need to have ‘faith’ in humanity to do this because in truth, as far as we know, our only salvation for our problems is our own abilities to over come them.

Faith:

I know people might watch the news and wonder how one can have faith in humanity. I do because in truth the news focuses on a small minority of people with either a problem or are the cause of a problem. The news always focuses on the small minority of bad things that happened while ignoring the normal good things that happen every day that are far more numerous. It is the classic case of focus on the negative but ignoring that the positive that far outweighs the negative. “Problem X has gone up two percentage points in the last year.” What they don’t tell you is this is only an increase from 2% to 4% and 96% of people don’t have that problem or are not engaged in that negative behavior. As Penn Gillette rightly observed there are two things about people which are true: 1) Things are usually getting better all the time and 2) People always believe they are getting worse.

I believe most of us humans are like myself. I am just trying to make my way in this world the best I can, make the best life for myself. I just doing the best I can with the cards I have been dealt and trying to get new cards if I can. I would never intentionally hurt someone and I mind my own business unless I see someone in trouble and then I try to help as best I can. I don’t do this for any other reason other than it’s the right thing to do. Because it is the human thing to do.

Religion:

This is a far cry from most religions which try to tell you that humanity is all sinful, or deficient or selfish. Religion as a general rule uses guilt and remorse for past mistakes to motivate people to action. It also creates this false sense of achievement that allows some of that religion to arrive at a higher spiritual plane and thus judge the rest of us a righteous or unrighteous. Thus they can motivate us to serve them as a way to ease their burden while adding to our own.

I am not very religious anymore. Mythology of all types is more of a hobby and area of knowledge of mine but in truth I approach the world trying to be spiritual but not religious. My motivation comes from my own humanity which I no longer consider sinful or deficient. There is good in me and probably more than most religious systems would acknowledge or want me to acknowledge.

Theology:

As a deist and humanist, my theology of humanity has changed quite considerably. I no longer see human beings as anything but what they are – human. Not sinners in the hands of an angry God, not morally deficient because they have desires that are basic to survival and living and not some drifting concept or phantom shadow. Just real genuine humanity.

This means I can hope a lot of things for my fellow humans. I can see them as fully capable of handling their own problems. I can also see that if I join with them I might be able to overcome greater problems. I don’t look at humanity as the problem, but the only real thing I can see and know that can solve those problems.

There is a respect for the individual human that follows from this as well. Not just a respect for the whole of humanity, but that each human being has this capacity to be more and better than what they are. Because of this I feel and have always felt that humans should be as free as possible to pursue their own interests to overcome their own problems as long as they do not bring harm to others. In the end I alone and they alone are responsible for their actions.

Spirituality:

As a humanist I know on thing for sure – I alone am morally responsible for what I do. No one else can have that responsibility. I also cannot be held morally responsible for anyone else’s choices. Nor should I be held accountable for them. If there is one axiom of religion that might be true, it’s the idea of being treated like I want to be treated. I want to be left alone to pursue what is best for me and as long as I don’t do that by harming or exploiting others, I should be allowed to do it. This is my basis for liberty and freedom for myself and all others. I am a libertarian in large part now becasue I am a humanist.

Conclusion:

It is in liberty and freedom where human beings are free to pursue solutions to their problems and associate with those they choose to associate with that such solutions will be found. No place else. This is something that religious people find it hard to grasp. They turn to a god, gods or whatever force they serve for the solutions and then wonder why problems still persist. This issue is turning to the one thing we know in the world that has the potential to actually solve the problems we face – ourselves.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – My Comeback

November 26, 2018November 26, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week and next are going to be hell. I have school to finish and there is a lot of work to do. I also have to work a job and a marriage to maintain. I also have to get enough sleep to function, so this means Discipline, Industriousness and Courage all in play. Here we go.

I want to take time out to take a breath as I dive in headfirst and look to the future. You have to see the finish line and the purpose of why you are doing what you are doing. That provides motivation and I need motivation.

The above meme really does encapsulate my life so far. These last few years have been rough ones and I really need to make 2019 my comeback year.

2016 – It did change me. I learned who was really in charge of my church and no one was going to do anything to help me change it. My crisis of faith started, I took a sabbatical that year to think things over. My course changed then.

2017 – Yeah, it did break me. I began to think of my marriage and ministry as a sham. A good friend died that summer and several things changed. I became painfully aware of a deep loneliness and depression. This was my state at the end of the year when a woman started to enter my life, but I really didn’t have feelings that were inappropriate for her until the next year. I was just thankful at that time for a new and growing friendship.

2018 – This has been a year of opening my eyes. I discovered how false many of the friends, particularly in church, I had were. In February, my organist died and this affected me deeply because at that point all the old I had started with was gone. The real problem was only one person was really listening to me and helping me through it. This lead to an emotional affair, my trying to resign over it but being fired instead, a near divorce, the loss of a close ‘friend’ who turned out to not be a friend. An emotionally up and down summer with a breakup, a marriage reconciliation, moving and a new job all while continuing school. The scales have definitely fallen off my eyes and like the Phoenix, I am rising from the ashes of 2018 as an awake and very different person. I feel true to myself at last and, as I wrote yesterday, ‘The Fire of Fury’ burns in my bones and I am ready for what is next.

2019? – I need this to be a comeback year, a new career direction, a stronger marriage and renewed prosperity. I am determined to make it happen.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I am suspecting that after these next three weeks are over and things are at last done for the majority of my school work. I will feel like more honor is restored at that point. I will feel that things will be better at least from a self-worth standpoint. I will have achieved something I set out to accomplish. Then it will be a simple matter of finding a way to use the education to better myself further.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

There is a lot to act on and I cannot hesitate at this point. I have a lot to do and nothing can distract me either so I need to stay focused and go forward. The fear to overcome is that I won’t finish everything. I need to bury that and just start eating the last elephant, one bite at a time.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

The truth is that I need to continue to be truthful with myself. It is what has kept me making good decisions for a bit now. This truth thing leads to a lot better path, but one that is often more difficult. It is however the difficulty of the truth that makes us struggle more and thus get stronger.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Meditate on One of the Virtues
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

I have to say this morning routine is the most successful one I have ever done. I actually look forward to it every morning.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
Start my own business

So by July 1st, 2019 I need to cross one of these off. We will see if its learning one of the languages, the novel or getting a tattoo or two. Those are my best bets at this point.

Weightlifting:

I am going to visit all the gyms in the town where I work very soon. My membership at my current gym expires in a few weeks. It also looks like it will be shutting down for good anyway. There are three options based on a preliminary look, so I will be looking at all of them probably during exam week as I won’t have an incredible amount to do. By the time exams are over, I will have to make this decision. I really hate to leave my current gym. It was a love at first sight thing and I will miss it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – That Which No Longer Serves Me

November 25, 2018November 25, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here. We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it. Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it. Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Shinedown – Monsters:

I suppose there is a progression to the music today. The start of it is an understanding that the monsters that live in all of us are very real. I love the chorus of this song:

‘Cause my monsters are real, and they’re trained how to kill
And there’s no comin’ back and they just laugh at how I feel
And these monsters can fly, and they’ll never say die
And there’s no goin’ back, if I get trapped I’ll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real

The emotions that are the monsters, as our text says, doubt, fear sorrow, confusion and anger. Monsters that sleep but can be awakened at any moment with disastrous consequences. Other people may fool people and hurt everyone with their lies and falsehoods, but the real danger is the monsters lurking within us all.

Poem: “The Fire of Fury” by Ed Raby, Sr.

“The Fire of Fury”

A flame burns within me

It is one that I cannot see

It is fueled by my fury.

My motivation,

My anger,

My salvation,

My destruction

My enlightenment

Fire, Light, Anger, Illumination

The Fire of Fury will light my way

Or it will consume me

Ed Raby, Sr. – November 24, 2018

I had the title of his poem for quite some time and a feeling of what I wanted to express. I used it for the subtitle of my Rogue Wizard series at its current state but it kept being the title for a poem too. As I was preparing the Pagan Pulpit for this week, the words began to form. Poets understand what I mean. I think it speaks for itself.

Meditation:

Song of Preparation: Disturbed – Indestructible:

It is no secret I like Disturbed. I plan on sitting back after school is over and listening to every one of their albums and songs. I just haven’t had the time to give listening to music the proper time it deserves and this is one band I want to some attention to in-depth. The progression of today’s songs continues with learning to take the negativity and toxicity of certain emotions and transforming them into that which makes us indestructible.

Text:

“Release all that no longer serves you: “I cast away all doubts, fears, sorrows, confusions, anger to the wind. I release any toxicity that weakens my spirit.” – The White Witch Parlour

Sermon:

Yeah, I am using a quote from a white witch site. That said when I was a Pentecostal, I swear I heard this same quote from the more Charismatic Movement oriented believers. It’s amazing how mysticism can change the form it has, but the words and concepts are simply the same.

There is something to be said for the idea of releasing that which no longer serves us when it comes to emotions. Emotions are raw material. Parts of them are useful and other parts are chaff that needs to be given to the wind. The real challenge of dealing with these emotions is learning how to harvest them. Learning what needs to be released as toxic and unproductive while keeping the parts of them that lead to constructive and healthy action.

The most pronounced example of this I can think of is something that happened this week to me. I wrote on Tuesday a post: The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Part 3) – Confessions. The process of working through the three issues presented in that post was refining moment for me. I was working through the emotions and found that I changed in my feelings toward all these situations. The toxic elements of the emotions are less and the good parts that motivate and bring positive change are now more present. I know what to do about all of them and I am more at peace about that.

The quote today is a personal one that perhaps we all need to say from time to time. Doubt can lead to inquiry into truth. Fear can lead to courage. Sorrow to joy. Confusion to enlightenment. Anger to Motivation. Once you have let go of the toxic part of these emotions, the positive constructive elements are what makes you more of who you are and who you need to be.

Closing Song: Halestorm – Amen:

Ultimately its your shit to deal with. Not anyone else’s. And that ultimately is a good thing. Can I get an Amen?

Parting Thought:

Have a great week.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – End of the Semester Surge

November 19, 2018November 19, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

As Thanksgiving approaches for those of us who are students, the end of the semester surge is upon us where we have too many papers, too many pages of reading left, too many exams to study for and too many projects. It’s time for the end of the semester surge where we put every waking moment into getting things done. My 49-year-old super senior ass is no exception.

This one is a little different. It’s my last one of undergrad work for this my third degree. Probably my last ever undergrad semester and to be honest, it makes me a little sad. I have enjoyed every moment of going back to school even the hard semesters. I have discovered there is a better person here than was there three and a half years ago. Someone who can face the tests of education in his older age and come out smiling. But most of all it has been my privileged to get to know a younger generation class after class and started me thinking very highly of them.

Most older people decry the younger generation. The Millennials certainly seem to be a favorite punching bag of those retired and working for a living as an example of entitlement and privilege. Lazy and naive about real life. Unable to get out of their glass bubble and face the real world. I have not found this to be so. Instead I have found much my like my own generation when we were young; a group of people with diverse points view, dreams and hopes for the future. They work hard in a lot of ways and understand things that I have difficulty grasping. Mostly I have found group of people who care deeply about others and the world around them. They may be different but they are no better or worse than any other generation before them. The have the same fears and joys. they just express them differently in a different world. I have come to love and respect them,

I am also happy to be done. I love learning but there is a time to move on and the time is now. I don’t know completely what the future holds but I am happy for the experience of going to school again and learning. When I walk across the platform December 15th, I know I will be the happiest I have been in a long time. I need this achievement because it means I can still do things I want to do. I can still set goals and achieve them. No matter what others say, I have this confidence in myself.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I was meditating the other day and a thought came to me about my closure issues. Sometimes you don’t choose when a door gets shut, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk through it again. When it comes to the past I guess this is something to take to heart. I can’t let the past’s open doors be a hindrance to finding new doors to open. Closure will come in its own good time. Honor does not depend on closure, it depends on being positive about my future.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The end of school is fast approaching so the act of bravery that I am contemplating is dusting off my resume and sending it out at month’s end. I haven’t looked for a new career in a long time. Note I said career and not job. I am not sure what occupation I want to be yet. In that respects I am still a typical college student. I want to find something that is a career I can enjoy and that leads to better and better things for me and my wife.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

If there is anything that bothers me from time to time it’s when people tell me what they were told that I did and it is far from the truth. This still bothers me, but the rumor mill is what it is. My question I constantly ask myself is if it is worth it to respond. My answer is most often ‘No.’ Mostly becasue any person who is just rumor mongering about me isn’t worth the time.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Meditate on One of the Virtues
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

Very solid and the meditation time is more formal. I have it take my phone and it’s stopwatch for it. Three minutes is usually enough. Once school is done, there might be some changes to it as far as additions but perhaps I would be better served with an evening routine. I have just never had a lot of success with those.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
Start my own business

The more I look at things on this Bucket List, I am thinking my tattoos might be the first thing or at least get the first couple. Getting drunk and smoking a joint I might keep for a special occasion of some sort. Writing my Novel will probably start as soon as school is over and I am thinking spend an hour on it minimum as part of the daily routine will replace my study time. Many of the other ones are going to require prosperity. My wife wants to go on a cruise, I would like it to be a European river cruise that stops in Budapest.

Weightlifting:

The gym question remains. Much is unknown so I need a gym that will go month to month, but I also have little reason once school is over to drive into the town when my current gym is. It might mean switching to a gym where I currently work and then waiting and seeing what happens to the job situation. For that purpose I have fund a smaller gym in the city I work and that might do very well for me.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Stan Lee – Being a Writer

November 18, 2018November 18, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements:

Seems like every time I turn around here some great icon I love has died and this week its a man who probably inspired my imagination more than any other during his life. Mostly because he has been around from the beginning. Spider-Man was to be my favorite comic character for his human struggles, snappy sarcastic wit and he was just plain cool. But I also found myself reading Stan’s editorial comments in his comic books and discovered a man who was inspiring in his imagination and advice to writers and aspiring comic book artists. This session of the Pagan Pulpit salutes Marvel Comics’ heart and soul – Stan Lee (1922-2018) – RIP.

Opening Song: Spider Man Theme Song 1960s

https://youtu.be/SUtziaZlDeE

A song from my childhood and one that celebrates probably the best comic character of all time. It may be a cheesy song from the 1960s but that was normal back then. In any case, my Saturday morning cartoons were dotted with comic book super heroes and Spidey was one of them. Stan’s ultimate genius was a character that was real as a person but super as a hero.

Poem:

This poem went viral when Stan wrote it. He released it about two years ago. It speaks for itself. Stan was a pretty standard poet. His words however were anything but normal or standard.

Meditation:

Song of Preparation: X-Men Opening Theme

More cartoon stuff but from my teen age to early twenties (yes, I read comics and watched super hero cartoons well into adulthood). The X-Men were favorites of mine with the underlying tone of them being a call against racism. Stan Lee had a way of letting his characters not only be real, but also they addressed tough issues and the X-Men and its mutants were one of those groups that addressed a hard social issue. Particularly what society does with those that are perceived to be monsters or outcasts.

Text:

“The only advice anyone can give is, if you want to be a writer. keep writing. And read all you can, read everything.”

Sermon:

Writing is one of my passions of course. People who talk about writing get my attention. In truth one of my early instructors was Stan Lee. Not just through reading his comics but he would have an editorial at the beginning of every comic I read specifically to that group or character. I loved every moment of reading those. I mean my friends would read comics but I think I was the only one in my group of friends reading the editorial notes and thinking about how the comics were produced. The one message that came through is that everything started with a great story.

This is still true. We have digitized just about everything, but the imagination that casts the original story is still in the writer. It wasn’t the super powers that caught my attention, it was the characters and the story they were in and Stan Lee recognized this. That’s why his characters and stories survived while many other comics died and disappeared. No matter how cool your graphics, if the story sucks or the people can’t relate to the characters, people will not read it.

You have to be real when you write. Stan had this thing for the real. His most famous quote about this is that when it came to comic books he felt they were like boobs. They might look great on a computer, but he would rather have them in his hand. I concur with this observation and I still feel the same way bout books and other things I read. I like to sit in a chair and read them and I feel they should sit in my hand as real objects that books, comic books or magazines. I also feel the same about boobs as well. Some things have more reality than others. The more senses you use the more real things seem.

The advice Stan gives to writers is two-fold – 1) Never stop writing. Keep doing it. 2) Read everything you can. Not unique perhaps but when you hear enough successful writers say this you begin to realize it is probably true. As I am now considering writing as a career path, the advice seems more applicable. It’s advice I will take to heart for the rest of my life.

Closing Song: Avengers – Earth’s Mightiest Heroes – Theme Song:

If the X-Men took on racism, just about every issue along with that one, the Avengers addressed. One of my favorite groups because the cast of characters was constantly revolving and changing, It introduced me to a lot of characters and character development and as a writer I love that.

Stan Lee, you cannot know how many of us loved your work. You were more than a comic book artist or entertainer. You were a person who inspired many of us to believe that a better humanity was possible. That no matter how dark the evil might be, heroes would rise up from the human race and fight it. It was this notion that kept many of us from going off the deep end. Your work inspired my imagination and for that I will always be grateful.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) -Chapter 4 – Three Gifts (Odin)

November 17, 2018November 17, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Odin frowned. The whole situation was an odd one. The man called Beorn Erickson was certainly a brave man. Magic that can cross the boundaries of world is no small matter and to take on the risk of death was worthy of Valhalla. The man had courage, if he died in battle the Valkyrie would certainly take him. Freya would probably do it herself. Beorn was an old name but Odin had already started to call him his title – The Grey Wayfarer. It was easier to think of him that way as the man who might bring about Ragnarök.

Odin sat in his chair in front of the fire, pondering. Frigg was busy getting some gifts ready for The Wayfarer. Gifts that had been prepared long ago but now needed to be presented. Foresight was a terrible thing to live with. The Grey Wayfarer was a man whose death would bring the end, if all the visions Frigg and himself had seen were true. That last vision of Fenrir’s jaws closing about him had haunted his dreams.

Beorn completely recovered in a couple of days He was walking about and stretching his limbs. Odin gave him some small-clothes as well a tunic to wear around the cabin. He certainly had a good appetite and the wolves and ravens had taken a liking to him. Probably mostly due to the fact that like Odin, the Wayfarer gave them meat as treats. The two of them would converse and Odin had learned a great deal.

Beorn had acquired the amulet from a wizard of sorts. He had begun to only suspect its power and then he finally did try to use it a couple of times. One test had resulted in a great deal of pain. The time it actually did work, it was extremely painful. There was a price in pain to be paid to change worlds. Odin nodded and approved. He himself had paid the price for knowledge a couple of times. His missing eye reminded him sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

Finally the day came where the Wayfarer would receive his gifts. Odin would then set him on the path.

“Beorn, tomorrow you will set out on a journey. Frigg and I always will offer you hospitality, but there are greater forces at work and your arrival will not be unobserved by those who know magic.”

“I understand. I too am anxious to begin. I have felt this wandering in my feet for a long time. It’s why I came here. I am looking for something and I don’t know what it is.”

“Destiny is not fate. Your choices are your own and they will show you the path. I can show you the way, but not your ultimate destination. I also would not send you on this path without aid. It is perilous and you can still die. There is no fate here, just emotion that says certain ends will take place. We see your end but not the journey. That journey could be short or long. That is up to you.”

“I must All-Father, thank you and Frigg for your hospitality. I thank you for your advice and the information you provided me, I suspect my journey will be long and interesting.”

“You are welcome. This is only one of my dwellings. Valhalla is another. Asgard is still the realm of the gods. You walk now in Midgard but all the nine realms are represented here. Remember that and those that dwell in each place. It may very well be that your path will touch all of them. But now, there are three gifts we wish to give you.”

The first gift was a set of traveling clothes. It was pants, tunic, boots of leather, a belt of leather. There was a cape to go over the shoulders that had a hood that could be pulled over the head. The cloth was made of an unknown fabric. Beorn couldn’t place it. It was a medium grey color. The whole thing from head to toe. It was comfortable and fit him like a glove.

“The fabric is unique, one of Frigg’s inventions. It will keep you somewhat warm from the cold but also breathes very well in the heat. It will keep you from getting wet. Of course if you fall in a river it will need to dry off but it is resistant to dampness and the elements. It won’t mold or rot. Is it comfortable?”

“Yeah, like it was tailored for me.”

Frigg was standing behind Odin and she smiled.

“Good. Now I would not set you out on a journey without a way to protect yourself. So I give you this.”

Odin stood and crossed the room and retrieved a staff of ash wood that had been leaning on the side of the fireplace.

“Like my spear, this staff is made from the ash wood of the world tree. It has other powers but I cannot tell you exactly what they are. You must discover them as you go on your journey. For now it is a strong staff and a thus a good weapon to fend off those that would try to rob you or the beasts that would try to eat you.”

Odin handed the staff to Beorn, who when he touched it swore he saw runes appear along it briefly. The shimmered in a glowing white and then were gone. He looked at Odin.

“Like I said, it has powers, you must discover them.”

Odin sat back down. Frigg left the room, when she returned she was holding a satchel like handbag. It was made of grey leather.

“I had Frigg make this for you. Take off your cape and drape it across your shoulder. Yes, like that. This satchel is much larger on the inside than it appears outside. It also reduces the weight of what is inside it significantly. You can carry a lot in it and it won’t encumber you much. If you ever get a sword or axe, you can wear them to the appropriate side with the satchel on the other.

“All-Father and Lady Frigg, thank you. I do not know how to repay your kindness to me or why you are giving it.”

“We have our reasons, but we cannot say what they are. I can only say these things will make your journey easier in some ways. Other things we have foreseen will be painful no matter what gift we give. I suspect the other gods will either help or hinder your journey as they see fit. I trust I do not have to warn you that all of them are here in this place. Be mindful of who you are dealing with. The legends you may know may contain some truth but also may contain some falsehoods.”

“I understand All-Father.”

Odin looked at Frigg, seem to hesitate and then he spoke again.

“One last thing. That amulet is more powerful than you know. It does much more than you have discovered. It is a key that opens doors and allows you, as you have already discovered, to cross boundaries. Do not take this power lightly and know that many will try to take it from you. Guard it well. My advice would be to never take it off.”

Beorn nodded.

That night Frigg laid out a fine meal. A feast really for the three of them. Odin of course only drank the mead as he never eats. But Frigg and The Grey Wayfarer ate and all three of them had pleasant conversation. They agreed that at morning light Beorn would set out on his journey.

After Beorn went to bed. Odin sat in his chair pondering. The flames of the fire danced in his eye. Frigg found her way to his side and placed his hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and smiled. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her to his lap where she sat wrapping her arms around his neck. They kissed each other. After a moment of holding one another Frigg stood up and headed to their bedchamber.

Odin smiled as he watched her walk away. After all these years, her moving curves still pleased him. He thought to himself that no greater wife could a man find. He downed the last of the mead in his cup. He stroked the ears of his wolves for a minute. Then he stood himself and followed Frigg to the bedchamber. Both the ravens followed him with their eyes. They cawed softly. He looked back at them and nodded. The Grey Wayfarer would begin his journey on the morrow and everything would change. He entered the bedchamber, the curtain falling behind him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Getting Specific

November 12, 2018November 12, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

It is in moments of crisis that the Routines and Goals you have keep you focused and allow you to chart a course through it. This week I have had my car breakdown and come to the realization once again that my employer, a company I have worked for before, is questionable in regards to backing me up. I really hate working for other people. You are just vulnerable to their whims and it sucks if they clearly are more about the bottom line, than taking care of their people.

So, I refocus on my goals and readjust my plans. I mentioned though that my goals list is a little non-specific and that needs to change. I usually discuss my goals under Business virtues but I think in order to do that I need to make the changes to being more specific now.

Goal List (current):

Strengthen Marriage
Finish my Political Science Degree
Advance Career
Monitor and Control Finances
Write for my Blog – 1 post per day average.
Exercise
Follow a Solid Diet Plan
Create and work a Bucket List.

I also want to add a goal about my 50th birthday (March 18, 2019) which is to be in the best health possible. So a little revision:

Goals List (revised):

Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
In 2019 have a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I am hoping with these goals being more specific with measurable, deadline oriented results, things will go much better. This will be the goal list from now on and appear every Wednesday on Business Virtues.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I have some recent challenges to this feeling of self-value. I can’t go into details but the closure thing is still weighing heavy as well as trying to find something that give’s me value to myself. I have had to look to the future to find things that are positive, because the current situation in a lot of ways has become difficult suddenly.

I am working on being positive. I just get tired sometimes about the setbacks. I would just like things to go really well for once.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Have to say some things to my boss as early as possible this week. Things need to be clearly understood. I know what needs to be done and what the right things is so all that is left is to act.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I am spending a lot of time in silence but there are those moments I know I need to say something. That’s when courage comes in. But the main thing is I need to get moving with pursuing what I need to pursue. Facing the truth of my situation and doing something about it.

School needs to be a love for the truth, I feel my blogging needs to head that direction as well. Finding truth, knowledge and wisdom is something I have always had as a part of my life and I think this should never change. I want to be learning something on my deathbed, if it comes to that.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Meditate on One of the Virtues
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

This is the one thing that is going well. Very well. Probably the meditation could be a little more formalized but other than that, I feel good about everything here.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
Start my own business

By setting a goal of accomplishing one thing on my bucket list every six months, I have kind of raised the bar here. The question is which ones to work on every six months. My best strategy might be to work on a few of them at all times. If I were to pick the low hanging fruit of this list right now it would be to get my tattoos, get drunk, smoke a joint (more possible given that Michigan legalized recreational use) and write my novel. It’s doesn’t mean I won’t work on the rest, I am just actively trying to get one finished. My first deadline is July 1st of 2019, so on these I have a little more time.

Recent events have reminded me of the reasons I wanted to start my own business. There is a vulnerability in working for someone else that has just become unacceptable to me. I don’t want to be put into a position where I must accept retirement or less hours, layoff, etc. I want to be my own boss. I know that has risks, but I would rather be at my own mercy than someone else’s.

Weightlifting:

My major concern here is my current gym might close. I also have to think about where I might be in the future. When it comes to gyms I have had to acknowledge that I am up in the air here for a lot of reasons, most notably is that I don’t know where I am going to be working. My life is changing chapters and part of that is that my gym may very well change.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The State of My Heart

November 5, 2018November 5, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

The last two weeks have been a lot of wrestling with myself. This week journal entries will be dealing with the state of different parts of me as I see them and what I can do to improve them. I will talk in this one of the state of my heart. My Wednesday entry I will talk about the state of my Mind and on Friday the state of my Body.

My view of heart is more than just the state of emotions; it’s also the state of my soul. The thing is I view this as my core being and that which gives me personal value, motivation and a sense of myself. It resonates with my foundational virtues the most. A good heart, is honorable, courageous and rejoices in the truth.

It is also the most fragile part of me as an introverted empathic romantic sap. I don’t give my friendship or love easily; truth be told, so when someone rejects my love or abuses my friendship, I get devastated. I fully acknowledge the fact that one of the persons who hasn’t treated my heart that well is myself.

I would say the state of my heart is wounded, bruised and sometimes bleeding. It is also held together by stitches, staples and even a rope wrapped around it. I am surprised it survived the summer. To be honest, I teetered on the edge there for a bit of becoming a heartless bastard. I got hurt a lot, some of it self-inflicted. True, I kind of did some hurting there in the beginning myself, but it’s the hurts I received from people who, when I was down, decided to hit me again that really bothered me.

I don’t speak of this much anymore but I also did get my heart broken by someone I loved very deeply this summer. (I don’t speak of this often because its something that is hurtful to my family, but it doesn’t change the fact that it hurt and I still deal with that hurt. I have to thus deal with it myself.) There is a deep gash in my heart because of it. I also realized how deeply I hurt someone else; who I have renewed my love for, but that also has been a painful guilt ridden process. Self inflicted wounds there. I am trying not to become heartless through all this, but I have truly become suspicious of anyone who calls me their friend or says they love me unless they have demonstrated both at a high level first. Emotionally, I watch my six a lot more because I can’t afford right now to take any more hits. I still try to be true to my better nature. A friend/relative posted this a couple of days ago. It really spoke to me.

The one person right now who has proven her love for me is my wife. If there is any demonstration of genuine Christian forgiveness and mercy I can look at right now; it is her. She is also been my chief source of healing. I long to cuddle with her, make love to her and talk about things with her. It’s a good feeling and my heart seems to be mending because of it. If I can get closure in a few more things, I might make some real healing progress. I do want to get a wounded heart tattoo at some point as it is part of my journey.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Honor is still a real struggle for me. I feel the real struggle of my natures at times. Oh, for me this is no longer about sin and righteousness. For me the issue is more about the Wolves and Ravens. Making sure the wolves of Need and Want listen to the ravens of Reason and Wisdom. Honor is returning but it is a slow and painful process.

Thing is school will be ending soon and with that graduation. I even have a lead on an internship to finish things off this Spring. I am really hoping that fully closing this latest chapter in my life and looking forward to the future will restore some honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I am coming up to a time when courage might be called for. Graduation now looms and looking for a new career starts probably this next week. I need to be decisive and courageous in this. The time is getting closer to act.

I want whatever career path I choose to be right. It needs to fit me. When I see it, I want to grasp it with both hands.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I miss the old Microphone. I was absolutely honest with the way I saw things and the truth was more important to me than anything. Now, I can’t recommend this in the end though, as it can be painful to face the truth about one’s self and situations. It is often better not to say anything, if one cannot be honest.

This blog takes a different tack. It is honest when it speaks but when it is silent, that’s when you know I am taking the route of being silent is better when you can’t be honest.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Meditate on One of the Virtues
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

I would say this is becoming more automatic and it is become habit. To really make sure of that, I need to keep doing it for several more months. The real thing though is the peace of mind and focus this gives me early in the day. It keeps me focused on why I live quite frankly. I do feel a sense of purpose again and it is in large part due to the morning routine, in particular the meditation on the NNV and reviewing my goals and principles.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
Start my own business

I did a Rabyd Skald post recently about tattooing my closure. I suppose when people look at the bucket list they might see get my tattoos, they wonder what specifically I am talking about. Here is my list:

Valknut Tattoo with wolves, ravens and a rune circle. Right forearm.
Broken Celtic Cross – Center Back right under my neck
Two Wolves – Left shoulder “It’s OK to Feed the Wolves…” in writing under them.
Two Ravens – Right shoulder – “but Listen to the Ravens First”
Wounded Heart Tattoo – Left Pectoral

#1 is about my new philosophy of life where I can always see it and remind myself of it. #2 – Old Faith – Still I must admit it has an effect on my thinking but I don’t have faith so it is broken. #3-4 – My philosophical statement clearly stated. #5 – Given this post, I think this one is self-explanatory.

Weightlifting:

If there is any concern right now it is that my current gym might close. It’s having a hard time now that Planet Fitness is in town. The owner is pretty distraught with a lot of personal issues as well. I hate this because this was my gym – my home gym. I love the place and always have. I hope they find a way to keep going.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – The Foundational Virtues – Closure

October 29, 2018October 29, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have spent the greater part of October planning and organizing the plan for my life post-pastor and post-Christianity. Now it is time to act. This last week has been a little rough for me, as I have spent way too much time thinking on the past and trying to shake it. The real thing I think I am facing is the fact that with a lot of parts of the past, I lack closure. Things ‘ended’ with several things in my life with what I would consider bad endings. If they had been written out as part of one of my stories, I would have definitely considered a rewrite to at least provide some sense of ending for the reader. The way things actually went down, there is no sense of that. At least from my side there isn’t.

It’s why things don’t sit well with me on several past issues and this is something that is affecting me and my wife, so I will probably talk about it at our next counseling session. I can’t go into all the details, but I think I need a way to find some closure on some things and I just don’t know how yet. That’s part of my next task personally.

As it is, I need to fight the anger, sadness and The Grey that comes with this struggle, so the time to Journal and Act on all the planning I have done this last month is now. I need to stay busy and thus keep walking this journey I call my life.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

The real question for me is honor. In some of these past cases, I feel people got the better of me by taking advantage of my vulnerability. In some cases, it is myself that needs to apologize for my actions. In some cases, it is simply that the way I parted with someone just wasn’t right. There are many things left unsaid and undone.

It’s hard to be positive about my future when the past reminds me of my failures. It needs to be dealt with properly and in some cases, it might not be possible. I need to calm myself through meditation at these times and refocus on the future. It’s just something I need to get better at doing.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Three things are required for courage to take place. 1) To know what the right thing is. 2) To know what to do about it and 3) To know when to do it. It’s this three-fold thing that keeps me engaged in evaluation of every action that requires courage.

If there is a closure regret that I can relay specifically, it’s that I truly wish I could go back in time and handle my church resignation myself. What I should have done is taken a Sunday off to think about it and then resigned in person the next Sunday after that. Perhaps then things would have been different, but who knows. For future reference some notes to self: 1) If there is something hard to do, do it yourself and 2) Don’t trust others to do things for you that directly affect you – they will either fuck it up or fuck you over, so do it yourself.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Being honest with myself is more the struggle these days. It is easy to blame others and I am not saying others are not to blame at times, but you can only control what you do, so knowing the truth is helpful in that regard. If others do indeed fuck you over, then fine, but make sure you learn what you could have done better first before seeking justice.

I pursue any knowledge I think will benefit me in the future. These days this pursuit is done with a lot of practicality in mind.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Meditate on One of the Virtues
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

This has been going really well so far, but I had to make one change in the order which was to put my meditation after my full body stretch. This is more of a practical thing as I end my stretching on the floor and so it’s a simple matter to go lotus position at that point and just meditate for a couple of minutes on the Virtue for the day. Other than that I think the whole thing is a good order and working well for me.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
Start my own business

I think the one thing on this list that is the most possible is getting my first tattoo once I have the money. I mean I could do the Smoke a Joint thing but I am trying to keep clean for job search purposes. Once school is over I think the novel and Learning Latin might be next. The weightlifting goals will come when they come.

Weightlifting:

Weightlifting’s great challenge right now is picking which days to do it. My schedule at work is different days every week. So the thing is that I need to make four trips to the gym a week. This means sometimes its weekend days as well. This is simply necessary because trying to lift after a long day of work and school and then late gym session can be too much. I found out Sunday morning is pretty empty at the gym.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Weightlifting Plan

October 22, 2018October 22, 2018 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

I must pause here and reflect a bit before I get into my actual plan. This has been without a doubt one of the most stressful times I have had running from the end of May until the end of August. It was in many ways up and down like the worlds most twisty roller coaster and just as friendly to my insides. Through all that, I have been able to maintain a couple of things that kept me from going totally nuts. One of them was weightlifting.

Like Henry Rollins says – 200 lbs. is 200 lbs. The Iron is a reference point, beacon and the real deal. There is no falsity to iron. In my life, the iron has never left me, disappointed me, run out on me or freaked out on me. I found this summer the one place of calm and steadiness was the gym and my truest friend the iron.

My weightlifting plan revolves around quarters. October through December is the fourth quarter so I am coming to the end of my current year cycle. Next Year is kind of up in the air because I plan on looking for a new job and that might take me in various directions. It’s too bad because after three and a half years at my current gym, I have come to love the place. Practicality might dictate something closer to work instead of school and that means changing gyms. This might cause me to change plans but I doubt it as I wouldn’t consider a gym that didn’t have the equipment I need, unless I have no choice.

In planning I have also had to consider some injuries of the past. Two years ago I had a repair on a high hernia which required a fairly lengthy recovery from a lifting standpoint. More recently I have had to deal with tennis elbow in my left elbow. It’s these more lengthy, non-life threatening events that have caused me to rethink an old saying – ‘you need to train to train.” That means more abdominal work and forearm work. Stuff a lot of people neglect but I can’t afford to do that anymore. I want to keep lifting for a long time so injury prevention training is part of the deal. That’s why the split is longer with five days but I only lift on four days a week so recovery is not an issue. It’s also why every day now starts with a full stretching routine in the mix.

Everything I do is focused on muscle growth or endurance. Strength comes with that but it’s not a focus. As I age, muscle loss is more of a problem and I want to fight that. I will however start with strength because my bucket list has some items I need to work on. So January will be more strength focused with probably a 4 x 5 set/rep range. April to June I will be back to hypertrophy with 4 x 8, July to September 4 x 10, October to December – 4 x 8 once again.

My split hasn’t changed all year other than I added a day – The Core Day which is about abdominal work. Day 1 – Chest/Delts, Day 2 – Back/Traps, Day 3 – Legs, Day 4 – Arms, Day 5 – The Core. I am hoping once school gets done I can go back to five days a week but right now I four is enough with one day getting a break each week.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

There is always some argument about whether honor is an internal thing or external thing. I say internal because quite frankly not every one is going to like you and just because some people dishonor you, it doesn’t mean you have it give them credence. What should mean something to you is your feeling of self value and if that’s good you are good. It’s why some people can disrespect me and I can ignore them or tell them to fuck off.

I am struggling with being positive. Right now mental fatigue is very high and what I really want is a whole week off from everything. Not going to happen, so need to find a way to get more motivation to get stuff done and that starts with being positive.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I say fuck off to a lot of people who call me a coward. Sometimes the right thing is to walk away and that is what I am trying to do. The same time, I feel the scales of justice need to be balanced, but I can be patient about that.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I spend a lot of time in silence these days. It’s better than lying to people who want to know how I am. Mostly, people need to mind their own business. I also would say I don’t tell to many people what’s going on with me, because my trust level of others has taken a nose dive in the last few months. I trust very few these days and most of them are family and even then advice is to be wary of everyone. Some don’t like the truth, so there is that.

School is OK. I get by but I am waiting for that spark that ignites me to pursue knowledge at a high level and I think that is starting to happen. We shall see.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

	Grant W on Of Wolves and Ravens – M…
	Wolfgang on “Skadi: Goddess of the W…
	Heimdall Norse Mytho… on “Heimdall – Guardi…
	Ed Raby Sr on Pause, Reset, Re-Align, R…
	Dawn on Pause, Reset, Re-Align, R…