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“Routines and Other Notes” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

The Purpose of Routine:

The idea is that much of life is unpredictable so to get things done you need to make part of your life at least predictable because you make it so.  It is about putting order to chaos and making that order work in your favor. In my case, I have a Morning Routine that I do every day.  I also have a Work Day Routine and a Rest Day Routine which are only differentiated by the fact of whether I work that day or not.  The issue today is to look at all of them and makes some changes.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

If there is a significant change I am making here it is that my paper journal will be don at the end fo the day now for the next day as far as creating my checklist and To-Do List for each day so in them orning the only thing that might happen is when I check my email and stuff I might have to add to them but I want to do the actual lists at the end of the day for the next one.  In the morning I jsut want to be able to start doing what I need to do and start checking things off. the end of the day provides a better time for preparation for all this.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time (first opportunity)
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Paper Journal: Double Check and Create To-Do List for Next Day

With days I work I want to make progress on things like reading and writing as well as a personal business.  I am trying to come to terms with the idea that on workdays there is little time for anything else and I need to be Ok with that.  The other thing is my gym time needs to fill the whole hour which means I need to do a little more lifting and then perhaps hit the treadmill for a bit to fill the rest. Of find something interesting to do.  The point is to stay active and fill the whole hour.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time (first opportunity)
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day.
  4. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  5. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  6. Writing – 3000 Words
  7. Paper Journal: Double Check and Create To-Do List for Next Day

The trick here was to focus on being a writer and then relaxing the rest of the day.  The Cleaning part is actually about making my environment relaxing so I can relax in something clean and organized.

Blog Posts – Weekly Order:

The order of posts for the blog this coming year (or whenever I change it) is as follows:

Sol’s Day: The Pagan Pulpit – Weekly written service for you pagans out there like me.  Currently, I am doing a long series on Asatru but that will change once I am finished.

Mani’s Day: Of Wolves and Ravens – My life philosophy in action.

Tyr’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – My first weekly journal post dealing with the virtues of Honor, Truth, and Courage.

Woden’s (Odin’s) Day: Odin’s Eye – My various thoughts on spirituality as an atheist with pagan tendencies.

 Thor’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – My second weekly journal post dealing with the virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality.

Frigg and Freya’s Day: Freya’s Chambers – A weekly post on my thoughts regarding sex, sexuality, nudism and related issues.

Sif’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues –  My third weekly journal post dealing with the virtues of Discipline, Fidelity and Perseverance.

The Rabyd Skald: These posts can appear at any time any day.  They usually regard things that don’t fit into the rest, or my struggles with depression in the posts subtitled – The Grey and The Wayfarer.

All posts will now drop at 4pm – Eastern Standard Time.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Approaching 2020” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 26

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

As I approach the New Year there is a lot of for lack of a better word  -‘fear”.  I know seeing I meditate often on the virtue of Courage, fear seems to not be in line with the virtue but courage is not so much the absence of fear, but the ability to look at uncertainty and the fear it can bring and say ‘fuck it’.  I just need to look at 2020 in the light of opportunity despite risk rather than not taking the risk.

The Grey for the last two weeks or so is my constant anxious feelings about the situation.  Nothing major, just the constant nagging buzz of the flies of failure, struggle for something better and still the nag of a broken heart which I thought would be better by now.  On top of all that I can feel myself doing the same things over and over again expecting different results – most notably continuing to do what I do to make everyone happy and yet I feel restless and sad a lot.  I need a change of job and location.  I can feel it,  The Wayfarer needs to move. Literally and figuratively.

I am torn because here I am again trying not to hurt anyone while hurting myself at the same time. I can’t’ seem to find a win-win and this bothers me that there might not be one.  If I am going to win for myself, I may very well have to hurt some other people to do so.  I hate this conflict of not trusting people but at the same time not wanting to hurt them. I wish sometimes I had the capacity to get over hurting others but such is the fate of empaths. You feel the pain you cause as well as your own and that is what truly sucks.

I would like 2020 to be a good year where I find a new job, start moving toward prosperity and then also start being at peace with myself. I want to heal in the coming year, but all I can see his more pain and injury either way.  I don’t know.  Mostly I just need a better job somewhere else.

Writing Notes:

I will be posting the epilogue to Space Tramp tomorrow and the final two posts for  Rogue Wizard on New Year’s Eve.  Starting Woden’s Day I will be back to the regular schedule as this blog will truly become more of a journal blog than anything else.  I really need to free my time for other writing, reading, looking for a job, etc.

I hope sometime in early January to start my Youtube Channel but that depends on how quickly I can learn what I need to learn and I do need to learn some things.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Some Special Announcements” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

I have to apologize for no The Pagan Pulpit this week,  but I have been wrestling with a question all day and it involves identity. The specifically is: What have I always been?  Today has been a day of thinking on this question and watching the Marvel Superhero Movies. Sometimes with my wife and sometimes alone. I was still wrestling with this question when my Facebook feed had this memory from a year ago today.  I don’t believe in fate or destiny or anything but this a remarkable coincidence and I think I have found my central answer to the question of what I have always been and always will continue to be. It is summed up in the threefold point of this quote above.

  1. To be a person who pays homage to the facts no matter where they lead him.
  2. To be a person of free and clear thinking – no gods, no masters – just reason and free thought.
  3. To be intellectually decent at all times which to me is being comfortable with “I don’t know” while at the same time saying “I am going to try to find out though”.

I have been all these things regardless of form, belief or persuasion all my life.  I strived to be these things and a believer in Christ and now as an atheist. In large part is was these things that lead me to atheism when answers could not be found in my faith.  Or when I painfully concluded that my faith was a glorious fiction or worse completely false.

These three principles have been my core since I first picked up a comic book and saw representations of heroes who despite all the powers they were granted tried above all to be true to the ethics and morals that made them into heroes. Get past the special effects and you get a very human core.

Today I have decided to continue to follow them and remind myself of them more often.  The Virtues remain because they are reflections fo these central tenents of life. But I also have always been a preacher and teacher and this is something I wish to be again.  The pulpit, lectern, and message may change; but to proclaim what I feel is factual, true and right remains a passion.

With this reminder of this continuing commitment I have a few announcements:

  1. The Grey Wayfarer will continue much as it is except I am pretty much breaking it down to be a journal of my progress.  The Pagan Pulpit, Of Wolves and Ravens, Odin’s Eye, Freya’s Chambers, and my three Journal Posts will remain with the occasional The Rabyd Skald thrown in. But this is going to be it here because I want to turn my attention to my writing for publication and another project I will announce shortly.
  2. The rest of this week will however not have journal posts or the normal slate of posts, rather I want to finish out all my ficitonal series on this blog. I am doing this to clear my slate and give myself a little philosophical downtime.
  3. I want my family to know that up till now I have been very passive with my anti-theism and my conviction that belief in God or gods or whatever as a means to base your life is nonsense.  That changes today where my anti-theism, while it will remain compassionate, is going to turn active. Very active. All of you are free to believe as you see fit but understand I will be working hard to show that Christianity is false, that the Bible is just a book and a bad one at that, and that we would be better off without religion in our lives.  I am sure some of you will not like what I am about to do as you are believers, but I feel compelled by reason and intellectual honesty to do this.
  4. By active I mean I will be writing books to this effect, I will be blogging here with the desire at times to show how any person can live without god very well; thank you, and I will be joining organizations that oppose religion in politics and government.  I also am about to start at least one new project devoted to this task.
  5. That project will be to start a YouTube channel as a new more vocal pulpit for my viewpoint.  I don’t any specifics yet, or if it will even work, but I feel compelled to convince anyone who will listen to give up the make-believe and start living in the real world.   I am particularly focused on young people who are considering the ministry as a career and being apologists for the Christian faith.  All religion is poison to me and I want to tell people why using this platform.

If I can convince one young person to not follow my mistake, give up the ministry and embrace doing something truly useful for humanity, then I will consider my mission a success.  Of course, the more I can convince the better.  I also hope to make some money with this to at least justify my time doing it.

My main goal is to get back to being a preacher and proclaimer of what I feel is reasonable, factual, truly free in thought in a spirit of intellectual decency.  That “I don’t know” is a good thing to say when it is true and yet maintain that insatiable curiosity I had since I was old enough to read and look at the word with inquiring eyes. I am simply a pilgrim on this journey we call life, and I don’t think I can enjoy it as much if I don’t take the opportunities presented to warn people of my mistakes and false understandings of the world.  To tell people what are dangerous paths to take and the dead ends seem like a decent thing to do from this traveler of life to others.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Holiday Struggles” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 25

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Happy First Day of Yuletide – Mother’s Night – A night sacred to Frigg and Freya so it is fitting that it starts on their day.  Tonight was the celebration of the ancestral mothers.  it is also in some Asatru communities the celebration of the virtue of Industriousness which is a virtue associated with mothers.  To the hard-working mothers out there – Skaal.

Walking The Grey 

I am definitely struggling with the holiday season more than last year and it is because I have so much on my mind about the end of this year and what I am going to try to accomplish next year. It is not so much about missing the meaning behind holidays this year as last year, but more about the year coming to an end and the one pagan tradition that I want to observe at the end of it.  – Oath Night (Dec 31).

There is also a massive amount of uncertainty to my life right now as far as the future and I am getting help with that but it seems for every question I answer in my mind there are many more.   This has caused some sleepless nights and no shortage of anxious thoughts.  I also feel like I am alone a lot and the loneliness is pretty heavy at times.  My wife, family, and freinds are great, but there are always those lone times for me and for some reason they seem infested with walking the Grey.

Blog News:

A little news from the blog front.  I order to have some more time in the coming year to write and engage in a couple other projects I am going to reduce the schedule to one post a day.  There might be a The Rabyd Skald or s special post from time to time, but for the most part, I want the regular pattern of The Pagan Pulpit, Three A Skalds’ Life posts covering the Virtues, Of Wolves and Ravens, Odin’s Eye and Freya’s Chambers.  In short, this blog is going to take on more of the characteristics of a journal and less a platform for my art.  I really need to get going on my writing for publication, reading and another project that I am thinking of launching soon.  This just simplifies things for me so I will have the time to do the rest.

Freya’s Chambers will return next week. This week there is simply too much Grey in my life even for a lighthearted look at sex and sexuality. I will also be finishing the Rogue Wizard and Space Tramp series, but not replacing them. Peace.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Lonely Milestones” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 24

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Introduction:

I know some of you are probably expecting Space Tramp and I do apologize for not having it this week.  I am really struggling with inspiration for writing and the issue of my muse is going to come up soon in my writing.  Its why I am trying to finish both Rogue Wizard and Space Tramp in the next couple of months because I am trying to get a completely new fantasy series going that creates a muse of sorts.  Or more concretely explores the topic of inspiration so I can find a source for it that is more consistent.

I have a few things to talk about in this edition of The Grey and The Wayfarer.   1) Some Milestones for the Blog, 2) My Loneliness and 3) A Personal Reflection on Therapy.

Blog Milestones:

Some good news upfront.  1) This blog actually past 500 posts a couple of weeks ago.  Now I can say I do have a bit of content.  2) Yesterday I hit the 100 WordPress follower mark.  I want to thank everyone for reading and following.

My Loneliness:

The Grey for the last few weeks has brought about loneliness I can’t describe other than to say that no matter what I do I can’t shake the feeling.  I don’t know if it is the realization of mortality or perhaps simply a broken heart still bleeding on the inside. I miss some people being in my life more consistently but there is the need in my heart for someone who truly gets me.

I either did have that for a few months in 2018 or thought I did and I miss it terribly. There is still a hole in my life from a relationship that is now gone and I am still dealing with it.  It’s the same observation that I have had that I long for a relationship that is intimate on a more instinctual emotional level.  But my heart is guarded by attack dogs, a wall of Trust No One and staying distant for fear of being hurt again.

I hate being INFJ where you can read other emotions on people like a book and even have my own emotions mimic theirs.  The only time I know what I am truly feeling is when I am alone and then when I try to express it verbally to others, it comes garbled or not at all because I don’t want to trouble others with my feelings. Only writing them seems to work.

The lonely wanderer is who I am and I both love and hate it. There is a wisdom to it.  There is loneliness I can’t describe to it as well.  I am glad I have a support group, a job coach and a therapist to talk me through things. But at the same time, they can’t fix my problems, I have to do that.

Therapy Reflections:

Of course, some of you are wondering at this point – ‘what about his wife?”  My wife is a wonderful person and I know she loves me and I love her.  It is just with all the changes to me and my outlook on life I am starting to feel trapped again by this marriage.  There is no common core goal for this marriage anymore and that is largely my fault because I am the one that has changed so much.  I like change – life is a journey of constant change and I embrace that and it is hard to live with someone who would rather have stability and security.  Nothin wrong with those things, they just are not me anymore.  They also are not real to me anymore.

This is why even though our relationship is much better as far as friendship and intimacy, it still leaves something to be desired from my perspective.  Once again because of my changed worldview.  My wife and I got married because we were Christians and called into the ministry and everyone told us we would be good ministry partners. We were also secretly personally guilt driven into marriage because we were having sex for months before we were married. In the mindset we were brought up in; once you fuck you better get married or you’re sinning against a holy god. There was no consideration of compatibility or common interest.  It is why some look at us and don’t get it. I at times feel that way too.

That is why in therapy the majority of focuses on what my new identity is now to deal with the loneliness question and a lot of questions on how to make this marriage work despite widely diverging values.  My wife seems content but I know I am restless.  Very restless. I don’t want to get to the point where I hate my life and marriage and all that goes with them again.  But if something doesn’t change soon, that is where I will be.  I know myself much better now and the danger is very real.

Thanks for reading all that if you did.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Rogue Wizard Delay and Other Notes” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 23

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sols’ Day!

Rogue Wizard Delay:

No, it is not an accident there is a delay in the next chapter of Rogue Wizard and this is a The Grey and The Wayfarer post for The Rabyd Skald.  It’s connected to the fact that the more I think about writing this next chapter, the more the Grey seems to hit me.  It seems to be one of those moments where I have a choice about facing the Grey and walking through it – it needs to be done.  But when I do this is up to me.

Writing is therapy for me, as many of you know.  Sometimes it is unpleasant and has to be done. Other times it flows.  I this case I know what I want to do and what should be done and they are the same. The problem is the process of writing is going to be an emotional roller coaster. So I am having trouble,  but I will have it done by next week but not this week. Apologies.

Support Group:

My support group is working out very well. I mean it is great to have fellow former clergy to talk to who are also non-believers in anything.  It makes everyone relatable and a lot of them have been through the process and at a later age than me so they help out a lot in keeping my feet on the ground and standing.

My Therapist: 

My therapist and I have had two sessions.  Doing it on Skype allows me to see her and she can see me so it gives me a genuine reactions both ways.  She is a good listener and hasn’t been judgmental at all.  Mostly though she has listened to me and thinks that next session we can start working on a plan.  The main two issues I deal with on this level are my change of identity and my marriage.

Job Coach: 

Through The Clergy Project, I also have job help for my career change.  I decided that even though I could use a new job soon to go more organic and find what fits me as well.  I don’t want to be doing a job I hate just to pay the bills anymore. So what do I enjoy and can make money at the same time is a journey of discovery and my job coach is taking me on and she is really thinking January or February which still is within my goal of having this done by March.

Reading List:

I was reminded by my wife that there are many books on my shelf that I have not read and should read them. So new books only when needed to keep the pattern of a non-fiction book; then a fiction book.  I haven’t been doing well on this yet, but I have started. Mostly though it is going to be a process of going through my library and pulling out things I haven’t read and putting them together to work through the rest of this year and next.

Writing Books:

I have come to the conclusion that I need to do my book writing like I do this blog.  I need about 3-5 projects at once and rotate them so boredom does not set in. Basically, I have three non-fiction books and two fiction in the hopper now.  I try to make progress on one or more every day.  It is the word count that matters.

Final Word:

Thanks for everyone’s patience.  My emotions tend to dominate my writing more than other things in my life. I have been able to be consistent on this blog, but other things need consistency too. Thanks for reading.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Taking a Day Off” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!!!

I am doing this post just to keep the daily blog streak going but I am a little fried from Black ‘Friday’ at my work and a long week in general.  I have a few sd=days off in a row so I am going to take this one and take a breath and do some serious relaxing.  I need to think about some things too.

Hope you all had a good holiday.  I will be back as normal tomorrow.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“2019 Book List” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day

NaNoWriMo – Word Count: 2002

I have two book lists.  The one for the remainder of the year and it will be made up of books I already have on my shelf.  The other is for 2020 which is a bucket list item for that year.

The 2019 Book List is about developing the habits I will need to read a book a week in 2020.  I am also noting that the books must come from my current library that I haven’t finished or haven’t read with two exceptions. If my math is right there are nine weeks left in the year counting the first part of 2020.

The 2019 Book Reading List

  1. The Myth of a Christian Nation by Greg Boyd
  2. Moon Called by Patricia Briggs
  3. The Virtue of Selfishness – Ayn Rand
  4. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein (exception)
  5. The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
  6. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
  7. Tales of Norse Mythology by Helen A. Guerber
  8. The Gangs of New York by Herbert Asbury
  9. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein (exception)

My two exceptions are simply books I want to read again before next year. The rest are books in my current library that I have either started and need finishing or I haven’t read yet.

I am looking forward to this training for next year.  I want to make this a good 2020 and reading a lot is part of that. I need to get back to it.  I will start using Goodreads to do a review at the end of each week and this schedule starts on Sol’s day with the review on the next Sol’s Day and then diving into the next book.  If you follow me on Facebook then you will get the link to the review there as well.

I am still working on my list for 2020, but a post about that should be out soon.  All this starts tomorrow so time to dive in.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Blog Housekeeping” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

I need to make some changes so this post is more ‘by the way of announcement’ than anything else. Freya’s Chambers will return next week.  My motivation is partly to make the time it takes to write this blog more uniform every day.  This will open up time for my other writing projects that I need to get busy on.  Mostly it is Mani’s Day, Woden’s Day and Frigg and Freya’s day that get crowded with double posts and I need to cut that down from three days to one.  The idea is to get back to the one post a day format as much as possible.  So the Weekly schedule is going to look something like this.

Sol’s Day: The Pagan Pulpit, Rogue Wizard

Mani’s Day: Of Wolves and Ravens

Tyr’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

 Woden’s Day: Odin’s Eye

Thor’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Frigg and Freya’s Day: Freya’s Chambers

Sif’s Day: Space Tramp, A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

This schedule gets me back to the daily blog routine I want which is: 1) File Yesterdays post, 2) Edit Today’s post, 3) Write tomorrow’s post, 4) Create a template for the post two days out and 5) Write a ficitonal post on my days off which I usually have two a week. I enjoy writing the ficitonal posts and I want to feature them on the weekend.

Right now this is about creating time for National Novel Writing Month which I am using to write a Non-fiction book at 2000 words a day but that habit of 2000 words a day needs to continue into the future as a writer. That means some changes to the bog to make the time spent consistently around and hour.

All the posts will drop at 4 pm except the fiction post appearing on Sif’s Day and The Pagan Pulpit which will drop at 10 am on the weekends.  From the standpoint of A Skald’s Life, my journal posts, this will also provide Sif’s Day being sort of a weekly recap.

This new schedule will begin on November 4 with Of Wolves and Ravens for that day.  This weekend will be another The Rabyd Skald tomorrow for the purpose of working on my booklist for the remainder of this year and the Pagan Pulpit will be Sol’s Day.  After that, the new schedule begins.

The Rabyd Skald Posts will, of course, be the rogue posts of this blog.  Appearing when they appear as needed.

Once again, to all that read my journey put in blog form, thank you. Writing this blog has mostly been about sorting out my personal issues, but the fact that some of you take the time to read me, like the posts, and comment on some of them is truly appreciated.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“2000 Words” -A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Since writing my post for Saturday about National Novel Writing M0nth (NaNoWriMo) and deciding to use that month to instead do a Non-Fiction Book, I have been meditating on the 2000 words per day goal with that. I am now pretty confident t about that as I not only feel this is a worthy goal and one that is achievable for me, I feel it needs to be a daily habit to hit a word total each day.  The reason I say this is a far more concrete goal than writing for an hour that I have had before.  Because you can sit there for an hour and write only 500 words. I think the issue is making a goal that actually gives me daily progress.

To put it in perspective, my average post on this blog falls within 1000 words.  Pretty typical for me and that takes 30-45 minutes to write and then probably another 15 minutes to edit. If I follow my pattern of letting a post sit a day and editing it again the next day, that’s another 15 minutes.

Writing a book is a different matter because the editing for me would be akin to sitting down for hours and reading the material and editing it all in one go. So I could just follow the NaNoWriMo philosophy and just write and get the 2000 words in an hour or at the most an hour and a half. Very much possible if I put off some personal entertainment and get about the business of writing.

This week I will be hitting my principles in A Skald’s Life so that will be reflected bellow.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I guess I find it easier to find personal honor in others than in myself.  I am an observer of people and I find what is good in a far different way than before.  Honor is a feeling of value and it is far easier to find value or how people are valuable when thinking about others for me.

It is finding value in myself right now that is a challenge.  I just am struggling with that right now. I need a new life in the sense of having a new place, job and environment I think. It is why I am going to be expanding my job search for most of the country.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Philosophically, I don’t struggle so much with acting once I know what the right thing is, it is determining the right thing. I was told recently I am a little bit of an enduring asshole. That is a reflection of a little less tolerance for bullshit in my life and standing up to it.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

I think sometimes people have taken aback that I tell the truth a lot, even when it makes me look less flattering.  They are probably used to lies and accept them as part of life from others. I just don’t have it in me to lie to people anymore.  I spent a lot of my last three years of ministry, fronting a lost faith and have no desire to front anything anymore. What you see is what you get with me; take it or leave it.

I still struggle with what the truth is and how to deal with it.  I realized three months ago I was wrestling with whether I believed in any god at all and only recently accepted I don’t and to be honest the world could be here without god at all.  If there is a god, he is either one that doesn’t give a shit or we are just an experiment in a petri dish to him.  He isn’t benevolent that’s for sure. I have no evidence, in any case, to believe so until some evidence is given, I am facing the truth that I am for all practical and philosophical purposes an atheist.   So I am an Athiest Humanist with Pagan tendencies. 🙂

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love for the people who are important to me – check.  Love for self – hesitation to check. I am at a love crossroads regularly.  I need to take the self-love fork soon or there is going to be a problem.  I will get too close to the cliff of self-sacrifice to death if I don’t take the self-love fork at a certain point.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene. Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I like this routine now better than before.  It allows me to get the basics done and be ready to go through the day.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!