Love

Writing from the Heart

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

As I enter my second week of writing every day, I am trying to find my groove. Part of that has always been to have a setlist of topics. A Weekly Routine or writing with each day being about writing on that topic on that day. To be honest, this does help me, but it sometimes gets in the way of writing from the heart. If a topic doesn’t vibe with me that day, it will be choppy.

I have spoken before about finding my Muse and I still recognize my need for a woman in my life for this to be a supercharged inspiration. I know it will be mIss right when she inspires my best writing. In the meantime, I have been reflecting on what I like about women in general. There are some obstacles to this like being recently divorced, experiencing modern feminism in a lot of women, and just generally being more traditionally-minded (not completely) about women.

So having a set routine and trying to find my groove is a good option. I just don’t want to stop writing from the heart. Routine being a tool to keep you writing is one thing, but if you feel inspired to write on something else, you should probably break the routine and do that. A routine should be guidelines, not actual rules.

In the coming week, I will be thinking about my Routine. But I also will keep writing from the heart s much as possible.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Music and The Wayfarer

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

If you know me you know that my musical taste is very eclectic. Mostly, I tend to listen to music that reflects my emotions. Some people, a very few, have been able to figure out that if you want to know what iI am going through emotionally in my head all you really have to do is listen to my playlist. If you are emotionally inclined you can read between the lines and find the connections between the songs I am listening to and what I am thinking and feeling.

I have always been impressed by people who can read me this way. Miss Salty was one of these and it was sometimes scary how accurate she was. My ex-wife was not. Often she would just pass judgment on what I was listening to. She had no desire to know me in this way. The point I am making here is that the woman who can read my music and thus read me has an advantage. It’s a weakness, maybe. Or it is just a safer way for me to express my emotions without verbalizing them. I guess I would rather look at it as an open door to understanding the man who is The Grey Wayfarer.

Because my emotions change, what I listen to changes with it. It is probably also why I look for new music all the time because I do run into emotions that have no expression and I look for something musical to express them. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am not. But the search can be some of the most rewarding I have done. Especially when something new turns out to be perfect.

It’s probably why I don’t hate on any genre, but there are some I just don’t resonate with. Probably because what they express just isn’t me or my emotions.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Looking for A Shieldmaiden

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Since my divorce, I have dated a handful of times. Mostly this has ended in a “Meh” from both me and the woman. While I can’t speak for the woman’s side as the only feedback I got from a couple of them was – ‘it might be too early for you Ed.” Yeah, my brain says you are probably right, but my dick says otherwise. Never been a guy for one-night stands because I have figured my empathic nature requires that I have some sort of feeling for a woman before I would have sex with her. And let’s be honest, the whole female-male thing is about sex in large part, but a long-term relationship requires a different viewpoint. My situation requires that I be having sex for good emotional/relational reasons, not just physical ones.

There are, of course, other reasons for a man and woman to be involved with each other. I would still say the time-honored and tested method of having a good stable family is nuclear, although I think others work as well. Evolution created and society recognizes this in practicality, if not vocally. My reasons for having a woman in my life in a relationship are not a long list. The qualities I am looking for are, in my opinion, feminine strengths. Even if the woke and politically correct crowd does not recognize them as such. In short, I am looking for a Shieldmaiden.

  1. Fidelity – I don’t want to worry if she has my back or not. When the world tries to come at us as a couple, I want us to go automatically back to back and the world loses. I want a woman who is strong in her feminine nature but understands that being independent is about freedom of choices. It doesn’t mean we don’t need each other.
  2. Peace – Bring my life peace. Make my dick hard, not my life and I will not make you hot and bothered, not give you tears. By carrying each other’s burdens our overall load gets lighter. When things get chaotic, we turn to each other to calm the chaos. Our home is the pale of peace and safety and we both work hard to make it so.
  3. Intimacy – It is easy to point to the sexual side of intimacy and that is very important. But I want a woman who is intimate of mind and heart as well. Where the ‘pillow talk’ matters just as much as the sex before it; conversation just as much as coitus.

I don’t think that is asking too much and it’s not a long list. I know this is something that takes time to develop, but if this is the goal and desire, I am willing to make it so.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Yes, I Still Follow the Nine Noble Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

I still follow the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV). I feel that following a system or code of virtue is far more valuable than following a religion or spiritualism because the results are far more tangible. Real-world application to life is far more important to me than it used to be when I was religious. Application to every day is what matters. The NNV provide that, as they transcend religions and theoretical philosophies. Simply put, they work.

Every Virtue has a real-world expression. They also combine to provide different expressions. Industriousness needs courage at times to lead to success as one faces risk while working at something with a good attitude about work. Can anyone not see the connection between honor and truth? For me, by following the NNV I end up with a life that expresses itself with love, justice, and wisdom. Qualities that no decent person should fault anyone for.

I simply remind everyone who reads this blog that much of what it means to me to be The Grey Wayfarer is to follow this philosophy – the Nine Nobel Virtues. It is something that guides my decisions and thoughts and I will write on it fairly often.

Thanks for stopping by.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Poem – “Dried Salt”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

“Dried Salt” – by Ed Raby, Sr.

My tears have dried

Dried salt on my face.

Once your salt gave me joy

But now the savor has ended

All that remains is your salt on my cheeks

Memories of pain and sorrow traced in saline.

Joy, Happiness, Anger, Sadness, Loss, Grief

My tears tell the story of my life.

A history written in briny lines.

I long now for new salt on my cheeks

Where fresh wetness returns made of Joy and Happiness

If only the memories of your dried salt would fade

Writer’s Commentary: I said yesterday that my muse of grief and loss from Miss Salty seemed to have dried up and this is mostly true I still have a weakness for every girl I have loved in my life so that weakness for her remains. True for even my first love and my ex-wife. I care about them all and all of them have caused tears. I suppose my love for all of them will never completely fade away. But only one of them got the name Miss Salty as a nickname.

I guess my problem is that my desire for a woman in my life is one that gives me peace and intimacy. Life is turmoil and cold so you want the home to be the opposite of that. The woman in your life as a man should bring peace and intimacy. It’s all I really want.

Poetry is hard for me still because it was Miss Salty who taught me the core of it and how to express myself so It seems every time that tinge will be there of sadness. Wondering what my poems would look like if there was joy behind that relationship instead of loss and sadness.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Undying” – Skald Tales and Poems – Poem

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day! 

“Undying” – by Edward W. Raby, Sr. May 3-4, 2020

My love for you never dies

But that is not as good as it seems.

It drains me as it is not returned

Like a vampire’s kiss,

Thrilling and draining.

I give and get nothing.

You drain the blood of my love

From within it bleeds into you

But you are indifferent

Like a bored eternal vampire

you have moved on,

but I remain the one that is drained.

I miss what your love did for me,

but I hate what it does to me

If only it would die.

Perhaps I could slay this love

With a wooden stake peirce it forever

But I cannot – for it is undying.

Author’s Note’s

I am only going to note here that this is the first poem I have written in a while and I truly feel this. Perhaps it is no the greatest, but it is an expression of a part of my heart.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The End of a Streak” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / 3 Comments

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

My final count was 560 days of blogging at least one post a day and that came to an end yesterday as I made the willful decision to end it that day.  The problem is twofold: 1) I need a little more time to do something I need to do and 2) the steak was becoming more of a slavery than a joy. Monkey off my back, I am free to pursue this blog as I see fit again.

I will continue to write regularly but only about five posts a  week.  I will be doing the following order.

Week A – Of Wolves and Ravens (Mani’s Day) and Freya’s Chamber’s (Frigg and Freya’s Day)

Week B – Dark ShieldMaiden (Odin’s Day) and The Pagan Pulpit (Sol’s Day)

Repeat.

This week is me engaged in some final thoughts before plunging in and finalizing the bigger picture regarding each virtue.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain my YouTube Channel with at least two videos uploaded a week.

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Solid Here – trying to build my YouTube Channel and keeping my big hike in view.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross two things off my bucket list by March 31st, 2021.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Two Bucket list items need to go this year. I think it can be done easily enough.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Book by March 31st, 2021

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in a year.

I need to get a book written this year and start at some point reading a book for a week for a year but I think that might start later in this year say September when I truly put together my reading list.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I flipped a switch this week and I have gone full-on love me first and that was a bittersweet moment.  I know some people are not going to like what I am going to do in the long term – fuck em.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation – 5 min.
  4. Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Get Dressed for the Day.

New and good.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Final Form – Foundational Virtues” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

So it is time to finalize some things for the coming year.  My Journal posts are about keeping me focused on the virtues, principles, goals, bucket list and routines I need to make my life more than it is.  This has also been instrumental in my battle against The Grey. The whole blog really has.  This week it is time to get things in their final form and get moving on my goals for the year.

A few universal things – my bucket list has been revised and the time element has been removed.  The goal under Courage will always have crossing off a certain number of bucket list items each year so that is my time limit point of reference. Old Goals have either been replaced or edited.

Details under each Virtue.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain my YouTube Channel with at least two videos uploaded a week.

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

The main focus is to develop my new soapbox in my YouTube channel The Rabyd Atheist while at the same time this blog will also continue. My bucket list item here has no timeline anymore but that is OK because it is my first major hike I want to do and so when it happens is no big deal as long as it happens.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross two things off my bucket list by March 31st, 2021.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

The issue for the goal every year under Courage will be to cross some things off the bucket list.  Because I did not meet this goal last year it will grow by one. I eventually want the standard number to be two every year with modifications made based on the previous year.  Example: Let’s say that this year I do three. Next year it would be two minus one because of the one over two and so I would only have to do one the next year. This goes the other way too.  My main point is to keep crossing things off the bucket list on a regular yearly basis.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Book by March 31st, 2021

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in a year.

I just want to write a book and get into the habit of reading here. As bucket list items go it simply means I need to make up a list of 52 books to read and start reading one a week on average. Two habits need to be formed to be a good writer and this is the way.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Time to do stuff for me for a while.  I am heading that direction. Call me selfish if you want but after a lifetime of giving to others at my expense, time to flip the switch and worry about me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation – 5 min.
  4. Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Get Dressed for the Day.

This routine gets me ready for every day.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Writing Thoughts – O For a Muse of Fire” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

I have been thinking of late about how much I struggle writing.  I never used to have this much problem doing it, but these days it is a major uphill struggle and I can only figure one reason.  I don’t have muse anymore. I lack that person, real or imaginary to inspire my writing and it is becoming a real problem. 

In many ways, my imagination has always personified itself into a form that I have called my muse  This was contrasted by a personification of my internal editor. My muse was always female and my editor male. Just imaginary concepts to have a conversation with while I was writing. My muses have represented that which I found important at the time.

  1. In my early days, my writing was inspired by my boyhood imagination.  My muse became a personification of that. A young teasing girl my own age who pushed me.
  2. Faith was my muse for most of my writing up until I left my faith five years ago.  I did notice this struggle at that time as well.
  3. Only one time did my muse center around an actual person and Elpis the Dryad was a personification of the inspiration Miss Salty gave me. Miss Salty remains the only actual female that was also my muse. It is one of many reasons I still have a hard time shrugging her off my heart, she is truly unique to me. She was and sometimes remains and inspiration to my writing. Or at least who she presented herself to be to me was.  Now the only inspiration she gives me is the occasional sad love poem.

This leaves me with a hole I have not truly filled back in and it makes me struggle writing. I am so scattered in my thoughts these days when I write.  I need new creative focus and I will be damned if I can figure out what it will be.  Something to set my imagination on fire so the digital ink burns as I tap the keys.

See the source image

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Writing Erotica” – Freya’s Chambers – Sensual Art

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

See the source image

Discussion:

I haven’t really addressed the subject of sensual literature so far in Freya’s Chamber’s so here goes.  I am not a fan of romance novels as the plot seems pretty much the same.  The only innovation I have seen is not it is not always exclusively boy meets girl.  They=, meet, a problem arises, the overcome problem while falling in love, they confess love and curtain.  The sex scene that would follow such stories is far more interesting because the romance to me is all the hype of how passionate people are toward each other.  That sex scene would reveal if the hype was just hype or real passion.  Making love does that.

See the source image

Erotic novels try to capture that passion and give it physical form. It indicates how creative we are when it comes to sex as quite frankly the ways we make love are legion and the ability to describe them with words is, in my opinion, a difficult art.  It is this descriptive wordplay of erotica that draws people to it.

See the source image

I have tried my hand at erotic stories.  Privately and both before I left the ministry and after. It is not as easy as you might think  Words that envoke fantasy and passionate sex are not just run of the mill words. There is a whole new vocabulary, grammar style and way of fitting words together to describe what two (or more) people are doing so not only can you see it with your mind, but feel it with your heart, smell it, taste it and feel eery sensual action. Try simply describing and writing out a sex act you had once nad capture al that and you will see what I mean

See the source image

Most of my erotic stories when I first started centered on married couples trying to resurrect passion in their lovemaking.  Later it became about forbidden love or even infidelity. Adding in fetishes and other human traits simply followed in these themes.  Recently though I have written about mental sex.  Two people sit down in a cafe and look at one another and basically have sex with each other in their imaginations.  It gets interesting to switch back and forth as they each have subtle differences in how they perceive each other. Sometimes they know each other, other times they don’t.  Nothing gets beyond the short story.

See the source image

Sensual words are something that impresses me now. It is hard to do them right and with effectiveness. Like all writers, those who craft erotic literature are all over the place as far as skill and depth.  Those that are the most skillful, seem to pull me into their world where I am not just a voyeur but a participant in the making love itself.

See the source image

Perhaps one day I will get it right myself and pull that off.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!