Happy Thor’s Day
I am taking a break from the order to think a little bit about some things. This last week of March has definitely been about making my Realignment of Virtues with their respective principles, goals and bucket list item. I will be engaged in this until Saturn’s Day and then on March 31st the new stuff kicks off in full. Not having the time to do some proper research for the Bible Problems post that is supposed to fall this week, I decided to talk about something more spiritual and personal instead.
The people in my life do not understand the change of my beliefs and some of them are the closest to me. To them this change has been sudden and only now are some of them starting to get used to the idea but they still don’t understand it. Trying to rebuild one’s spirituality in this environment is not difficult, just often misunderstood because to others it was sudden but to me it has been long in coming. This is a decision I agonized over for a long time. One that has placed me in a position of rebuilding my spirituality after taking a sledgehammer (metaphorically speaking) to what i had built during my time as a Christian.
Time to Look Through the Eye:
I consider myself a spiritual person still. There is part of humanity that one cannot put into a purely rational box no matter how much you try. The thing I have thrown off is religion. I have however not thrown off ‘faith’. Like it or not everyone has faith is something. Something they cannot rationally prove but still live their life by. Atheists deny this but if they were to go through their philosophy and principles they live by my guess is somewhere they would have to admit they go forward with without any proof – yet. They would contend they believe proof will be found eventually but it just hasn’t been found yet. That’s faith no matter how much you shake and dance.
I am not going to deny I have faith in stuff I can’t prove. I recognize my ignorance and ignorance is going to lead to some things you are going to take on faith because you have no choice or the alternative is to simply exist without progress. I take that there is a part of human beings that is spiritual on faith, because I cannot see a scientific or rational answer for some things – yet.
The one thing I have discarded is religion. I recognize two forces that pass themselves off as good but are in reality evil as fuck. Government and Religion. With government I recognize there is a necessary evil that must be engaged because people are inherently tribal. Religion I can’t find to many uses for anymore. It is by its nature, controlling and manipulative. It sells you something that you don’t even need to solve a problem you don’t actually have. It has all the morality of the huckster selling snake oil and has the same objective.
It disguises greed, lust and manipulation as industry, love and care. It calls you to dwell in ignorance so you can preserve your faith. Never question things because if you did you might realize the ‘holy men’ are taking you for a ride. Cleaver, as perhaps if you lose your ignorance you might see that it is harming you far more than helping you. I refuse to engage a system of belief anymore that sees to tell me what THE TRUTH is; as I find, truth is not something that is always easy to find or black and white anymore. I have no use for religion in rebuilding my spirituality, as it is probably is in reality one of the most spiritually destructive forces there is.
Whatever the divine might be, I now reserve the right to question its justice, mercy or decisions. I think the Norse attitude toward the gods is probably mine. The Norse gods are not interested in worship. They are interested in a life well lived. Mans approach to them is not to fawn or fall on one’s knees, but to stand bravely. They don’t want the devotion, but just respect for their power. Theologically, it seems if the divine is our parent, like a good parent it would want us to grow up and stand on our own and teach our descendants to do the same.
This last year has been both a cubicle and a flood of challenges. I am starting to put some of the things I did last year at this time in the category of ‘more than a year ago’. By the time summer is over all of it will be there. This flood and fire I have been going through has cause the storm to rage at times and my scars to burn with pain; but in all of that, I feel like I am being reborn. I am becoming something greater than I was, something stronger. I no longer bow, I stand. I no longer need the crutch that is religion and I am done with its snake oil spirituality.
I used to be a tiger and lion person. Strong animal images but both perform in the circus. But these days the wolves and ravens are more my speed. Not as strong but wild and free. You can put thme in cages but they will never be tame. I find that both light and darkness are not to be feared but used. I feed both wolves (Need and Want) and both ravens (Reason and Wisdom). I no longer see myself as sinner or saint – just a man rebuilding and discovering his true self. In that I find my spiritual rebirth and growth. I am Grey. An old scared grey wolf if you will. I have a pack but it is small, but then again I know what I bring to the table, so I am not afraid to fight or eat alone either.
Continuing to Walk the Path,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.