Right now discipline is difficult because of two reasons. Firstly my thoughts right now are a jumbled mess. Secondly, the holidays are so different than regular life and I am struggling to stay above all that. I hate the chaos at times because it is a people chaos, not regular life chaos. I can handle a lot of things but not a jumbled situation where I have to say ‘hi’ to a lot of people which I haven’t seen in a year. This weekend was a prime example of a weekend that is just not me.
I spent Saturday driving somewhere to spend the day shopping with my wife. Lots of travel in a car and people being everywhere is not my idea of a great time. The time with my wife was good, but I felt pressured all day and I certainly did not have time to do what I like to do. Then yesterday afternoon was two family Christmases back to back. Not a fan. It was my wife’s family so I also get half of the family that is cool because they are outcasts like me and the other half that still seems to hold something against me.
From a discipline standpoint, this all combines to make December a difficult month to keep mental focus for me and thus difficult to be disciplined. The negative effect is a lot of things are slipping and I am going to have to double down as soon as all this shit is over.
To the Wolves and Ravens:
“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”
Needs (Geri):
Discipline is a needed thing. It is what is the machine that drives success and I need it so much to do what I want to do. The issue is my own thoughts being jumbled because of depression, being put in situations that are uncomfortable. These all just drain me and my discipline suffers as a result.
Wants (Freki):
What I want is a focused life that is getting the results I need. As an atheist, I am not waiting for some divine white knight to come and help me out. I need and want to be the warrior that gets it done for myself. Discipline is the key. That starts with saying “I can do better.”
Reason (Huginn):
I think I am at another crossroads in my life. They happen quite a bit, but 2020 seems more pivotal if I am going to get anywhere near my goals. There is no achievement without discipline and I am looking forward to a time where discipline brings about results. But it is also just a rational nod of the head if there is no action that is disciplined behind it.
Wisdom (Muninn):
I need to find a wise way out of all this jumbled mess. There is a part of me that just wants to wisely withdraw from it all and start somewhere else. But this is the struggle of burning bridges sometimes – do you have the discipline to keep them burned and lying in ashes. No regrets.
Conclusion:
The only master I want is me. The mastery of my own life is key here and I am starting to feel worn out with all the chaos of thought and life. Some order needs to be brought to it. In the meantime, I endure the holidays and wait for the storm to subside.
I remain,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
All of my goals that remain under Self Virtues are about diet and exercise. The diet being caveman Paleo and my exercise practical involving stretching, weightlifting, and hiking. In many cases, I am modeling on what life might have been for us as we evolved out of the early days into now. Walking with loads on our back, moving obstacles with strength and stretching the joints and tendons to the limit. All while, eating a diet based on hunting and gathering. It works for me.
It might also be said that other caveman activities are present – notably being entertained by stories and sex while maintaining nudism when I can. A lifestyle inspired by ancestors. Given my weight loss, increased strength and endurance plus of the health factors that have improved – I would say it has worked very well.
Discipline:
“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”
Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.
Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.
Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.
To be full paleo diet means from January to March I need to be full time on it. No cheats and no exceptions. This is going to require some serious look at paleo recipes and some serious introduction of self-control. I am game. But after the holidays.
Perseverance:
“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”
Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.
Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.
I want to introduce a treadmill walk to my workout after lifting and i want to also have that have either a weighted vest or a backpack with weight. I need to train because when the snow melts off the ground I have some hiking to do and I want to be ready. Lifting and stretching are good right now, Just want to be more consistent.
Fidelity:
“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”
Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.
Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)
Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.
Goal achieved.
Higher Virtue – Wisdom:
The wisdom as always is establishing lifestyle change, not a 12-week plan. The latter leads to the up and downhill rollercoaster of being fit and fat. Nope. Needs to be out the gate full on and long term. That’s wisdom.
Rest Day Routine:
Morning Routine
Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
Reading – 1/7th of a book
Writing – 3000 Words
I need to work on this one the most.
Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):
Goals Achieved: 5
Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
Bucket List Items Achieved: 0
I remain,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
Since my post last week in Self Virtues where I pointed out that I have had pretty good results as far as weight loss and my A1c, I have been meditating on how far I could take this. How much fat can I lose and how ripped can I get. I like this feeling to be sure, but it is also a matter of setting my sights on a goal I have never achieved – being ripped and leaned out as much as possible. To look in the mirror and know that I have sculpted a work of art using nutrition, weights and walking.
I am still looking at my bucket list but I also want to set out a preliminary plan to engage from now until the end of March 2020 to do one thing – get ripped.
Discipline:
“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”
Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.
Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.
Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.
Nutrition is the lynchpin on this. I need to truly get serious about the paleo diet and be doing ti as completely as possible. If I can do it from now until the end of the holidays in December, I will have taken a big step in mastering nutrition. Not that I won’t have cheat meals for the purpose of celebrating moments but the daily carb allowance needs to stop altogether.
My bucket list item will mean all the more to me if I am in great shape. No change to it, just a heightened sense of anticipation.
Perseverance:
“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”
Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.
Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.
One of the things I said a long time ago is that the reason I want fit body is so the tattoos I want to get will be on a canvas worthy of art.
I need to make sure my routine is more scientific in the sense it has an exercise that hits every single muscle in the split and truly helps both metabolism-boosting and the look. Stronger happens just by weight lifting. what I need is to make sure I am sculpting my body, not just doing whatever.
Fidelity:
“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”
Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.
Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)
Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.
Health is the main objective here. I only have one life and I want to live it as long as possible and with the highest quality of health possible. The person ultimately responsible for that is me. I do want to visit all the countries of my ancestors and I want to do that standing up and strong.
Higher Virtue – Wisdom:
Of course, there is more to sculpting yourself than just your body. Sculpting your mind and heart is good too. It has amazed me how my dwelling in the land of fitness has crossed over with wisdom for other areas of my life. Mostly the need to lean out from things I no longer need that just weigh down my life and are not healthy for me to have. Then building strength in places I do need. It seems to carry over to all of life really.
Rest Day Routine:
Morning Routine
Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.
Writing – 1 hour
I added writing and took away walking. It is getting cold, so in November my walking will be a half-hour during my workout instead.
Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):
Goals Achieved: 4
Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
Bucket List Items Achieved: 0
I remain,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
You wouldn’t think that reinventing yourself at 50 would be that hard. I agree with Steve Harvey on the idea that you are never too old to do it, but I also feel like society throws more obstacles in the way of older people doing this than younger ones.
I guess the hardest thing is selling your experience without asking too much for it because you are engaged in a career change. I just want a better job with better pay. Not asking for the moon here. I am hitting crunch time though as the student loan payments are coming soon and it would be nice to not have to do a deferment.
As far as bucket list items in this area, there are a couple changes. Mostly this is a writer’s bucket list, not a business man’s bucket list and I have one major bucket list change below to reflect that.
Self-Reliance:
“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”
Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.
Goal: Find a new, better paying job by March 2019.
Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029
New here, to reflect my change of vocational vision. Writers write for publication so that is where I am heading. That’s about one book every couple of years minimum.
Industriousness:
“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”
Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.
Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)
Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.
No changes and fits now even better.
Hospitality:
“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”
Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.
Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.
I still want to own my own home so this stays.
Higher Virtue – Justice:
I don’t know if my interaction with others is the same as it was. I know I have as a goal to treat people in such a way that I would never do to them what I didn’t want to be done to me and I consider that justice. That said I don’t just forgive anymore – you have to earn that.
Work Day Routine:
Morning Routine
Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
Reading – 1 chapter min.
Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2
This is the one routine that will stay the same. It works when I do it.
Still walking,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
Anyone who has been a part of The Grey Wayfarer family knows that I talk often about my personality type. Myers-Briggs to me does a fairly decent job of defining personality through its simple four-letter designation. Well, four letters and dash with either an A or T behind it to indicate whether one’s identity is assertive or turbulent. In my case, my full letter combo is INFJ-A. I have found that in exploring the implications of this I have discovered more about myself and it has helped me with that struggle because as we will see in a moment, INFJ’s struggle with this.
My recent musings into the subject led me to discover a YouTube video that talked about how INFJ’s are walking contradictions. It is something I have heard and explored a little but the video offered some very specific contradictions that seem to be part of most INFJ’s and so after watching it I have to ask myself if they apply to me and more importantly what they mean for me.
8 Reasons Why INFJs are Often Described as a Walking Paradox
I like firstly how the video points out that it is not that we intend to be misleading or lack conviction but that our personality type puts us into these tensions. We have a high value on personal integrity and these contradictions are mostly due to our complex nature. With that let us dive into the eight contradictions and see if and how they apply to The Grey Wayfarer.
One – Craving deep connections, but being so private:
My standards of friendship and love are fairly high. This is the product of my desire for deep connection. I want a few good/great friends not a whole bunch of different ones. When it comes to love there are certain expectations I have coming back toward me.
The problem, of course, is that I am so very private as a person. It makes it hard to form those friendships and my wife is learning that love is something very important to me and she needs to spend some time nurturing it or I start to think very dark thoughts about our relationship. This happened once right after our last child graduated high school and I was expecting that now the two of us would get to spend more time together and rekindle some of that fire we had before kids, but that didn’t happen. It almost caused a divorce seven years later. Part of that was me having a hard time talking about it and the other was my high expectations.
Two – You find people interesting and draining at the same time:
I am definitely a people watcher but interaction with them is draining, to say the least. I can spend all day on a park bench watching people and studying them. I have been that way for a long time, pretty much most of my life. But in social situations where I have to interact with people I can only do that for so long and then I have to retreat and regroup periodically.
Three – You can understand people better, but you hardly understand yourself:
Oh yeah, this is why I probably spend so much time talking about my personality and how it works. It’s more about self-understanding and trying to figure myself out than anything else. I have to think about my motives and desires, where figuring out other people’s motives and desires because of my natural empathy is far easier.
Four – You love to help others, but you find people annoying at the same time:
Yep. It made me a good pastor but at the same time a pastor that was constantly annoyed with people continuing to make the same mistakes and continued to drain my time with the same problem. I find the fascinating part of people lasts only so long and then their flaws become so apparent that I am ready to head for the door and when I can’t head to the door I feel trapped.
Five – Being a perfectionist who often forgets small details:
Yep. I have a whole slew of small routines that are designed to make sure I don’t forget the little things and everything has its place mostly for practical reasons along the same line. I like things to be clean and things to go according to plan. When small details don’t pan out, I can feel let down for sure.
I also don’t notice the little achievements I make as much. I am looking for the big goal to be accomplished, so when small successes along the way to those big goals are present, I rarely notice them
Six – You are natural loners, but people often mistake you for an extravert:
“Ed, sometimes you are hard to read” and “But I thought you would like that (insert name of a social event)”. I have heard those two a lot over the years. Mostly because I am fun-loving and sarcastically humorous enough to wade through most social situations. I am confident and my ‘-A’ tells you I am also assertive. I was a pastor that dealt with people on a regular basis. I get mistaken for an extravert a lot.
However, I would rather be home alone reading a book or writing or name that at home alone activity. I am quite comfortable with my own company so I don’t ‘need’ social situations but I do need them periodically to remind me that I am a member of the human race.
Seven – You want to be in a relationship, but often choose to be single:
I am not single but the issues of being in a relationship that is loving are pretty high for me as I possess very high standards of what love is. This actually causes a lot of problems in this area as I am very aware of what love is but most cannot live up to what I think. The video is spot on about being in love being rare as it has only happened to me three times and when it does I tend to take it hard when it doesn’t work out.
Eight – They are complex, but they have integrity:
This video describes us as being like an onion that you have to peel layer after layer away to get to a true understanding of an INFJ, and I don’t know too many INFJs that would disagree. It can take literally years to completely understand all aspects of our personality. In the end, if you take that kind fo time you may actually understand us better than we understand ourselves.
Our idealism, however, has a large amount of personal honor to it. It is no accident that the part of Asatru I struggle with the most is honor and it is the struggle I consider most important. I find it actually more upsetting to myself at my failure to uphold my honor than I give two shits about what others think of it.
Conclusion:
Being walking contradiction or paradox is probably the most accurate thing I have heard to describe me. Whether this applies to other INFJs I would not speculate but if it is common enough to talk about this way, it is probably mostly true.
I remain,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
I do love that feeling. It is interesting that life is much easier when you are physically strong. There is no doubt about that. I was moving some boxes the other day at work and to me it was pretty easy, then one of my coworkers tried to do some of them and damn near gave themselves a hernia. I realized it is not that they were so weak, but the boxes were much lighter to me than them.
Another report I can make is that my weight has dropped another six pounds to 274 lbs. (124 kg – for the rest of the world) this month. I started this particular leg of the journey two years ago at 348 lbs. (158 kg) so that’s a drop of 74 lbs (34 kg) total. I love metric but this sounds so much more impressive in Imperial. I still have a little bit of fat to lose, and loose skin to tighten, so we continue. The goal, after all, is to look good naked. My frame being 6’4″, things are starting to get good in clothes. you kind of get that when you catch women looking at your ass.
The other good thing is my A1c number being at 5.7. Normal is 4.1 to 5.6 and given I started at 8.4 three years ago, things are going in the right direction. My goal is to be in the normal range next appointment which is in March. Diabetes is losing; so that is good.
I wish I could say there was some special trick but it basically has been three factors in priority order:
Nutrition – Paleo Diet and making it more refined every month.
Weightlifting – Bodybuilding style pushing the last set to failure.
Walking/Hiking
I do need to make some adjustments because I want to see how leaned out I can get. See below.
Discipline:
“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”
Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.
Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.
Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.
I have eliminated bread for the most part. Most of the carbs that are left are from cheat meals twice a week and my two carb a day allowance. The next thing to go will be the allowance completely and that is going to require some study this next month or so. Making truly paleo meals is the next goal, so the holidays will be easier when I have to be social and I am not dieting in those moments. After new year, the goal will be to be true paleo except for cheat meals. That is the key to diet, being able to occasionally have what you want to eat, but the rest of the time be tight.
Perseverance:
“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”
Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.
Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.
Up til now I have been going in and doing what comes naturally which is pretty new to me as I usually have a logbook to fill out with each set and rep, but this has been good in that I have not done anything overly stressing on my joints. But I need to get back to the scientific approach to make sure every muscle and muscle group is getting worked efficiently. Barbells have returned but need to be more utilized with a more balanced approach as far as the type of equipment too. Time for a little more planning before each workout.
It’s getting colder so hiking training is going to move indoors to the days I work out at the gym. One half-hour of walking on the treadmill with a weight vest might be a good winter alternative.
Fidelity:
“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”
Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.
Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)
Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.
Goal Achieved
Higher Virtue – Wisdom:
A long life with high quality is the goal here. I have lived 50 years and I would like 50 more and the worst I ever want to be is maybe having to use as staff like Gandalf the Grey at 100. Being wise in these things means engaging overall health. Nutrition is the most important thing but I think my exercise forms are both long term in their focus as well.
Rest Day Routine:
Morning Routine
Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
Walking – 1 hour.
Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.
Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):
Goals Achieved: 4
Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
Bucket List Items Achieved: 0
I remain,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
My meditations have been on my routines but I have to go back to my goals and look at the ones I have achieved and asked what part of my routines helped me achieve them. This really involves a lot of thought about Routines in the sense that they not only have to line up with goals they also have to practically work. If I don’t do them and they don’t actually help me achieve my goals then they need change.
This last goal that was achieved reminds me of the fact that feelings cannot be a measure of whether you decide to work on your goals. If I relied on feelings to achieve blogging every day I would have never made it. Any writer will tell you that you have to sit down and write regardless of feelings. Writer’s block to me is just another mythological excuse. I had to sit down at my computer and write regardless of feelings and still do as the streak of daily posts continue.
I need to learn to branch this out a little more to other areas like writing my novel and a non-fiction book, and doing the other things writers do – reading. The fact is the things I do despite feelings I am having good results in and the rest flounders because I let feelings determine if I do them or not. That needs to change.
Honor:
“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”
Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.
Goal:Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days). (achieved)
Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.
Goal Achieved and that is three out of nine for the year. My thoughts though are this goal is going to be regularly about getting past feelings nad getting habit in my life I need to be a successful writer.
Courage:
“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”
Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.
Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.
Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.
I’m picturing in my head getting a new job, saving up some money and then getting my tattoo on my shoulder. This would cross off two goals and a bucket list item off this list. it is the next real major milestone in the journey and need to get there soon. The job search is also one of those things that need to get past feelings.
Truth:
“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”
Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others. To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.
Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.
In order to write my non-fiction book, writing needs to be every day. Another place where – “I don’t feel like it’ cannot be present.
Higher Virtue: Love:
If I am going to balance out everything else with love of self, getting past my feelings is the key. Literally. I need to start putting my feelings to love others in a proper perspective and I need to have some feelings about loving myself that are more developed. That requires an objective look at feelings – why I have them and what they accomplish. Loving me has become I priority if I am going to move forward with my life and stop these anchors from the past from holding me back.
Morning Routine:
Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
Meditation – 3 min.
Check Communications and Email.
Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
Stretching / Yoga
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day
I am starting today looking at every line of my routines and asking questions about what I need to make them work better and more consistently. For the Morning Routine, the thing that is missing is a meditation altar and I am going to spend some money to make one with some candles, incense and I found a valknut plaque to be a centerpiece. It’s kind of a project that hopefully will make meditation a little more formal and thus effectively done.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
This week I consider my bucket list. You know that list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. This list is the major milestone I want to hit before my death and i think it is important to have long term goals and that is what they are.
People ask me without Christianity how do I have hope. I ask them why they would assume that just because I don’t believe in the Chrisitan version of the afterlife any more that I wouldn’t have hope? If you always looking to the beyond for your justification for living in hope now; I would say you are too heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good. Hope for me is not about life after but the life I have now.
As I deist I concede the atheists might be right and this is all I get. I also hope there is a life after death but I am not going to act as if that is guaranteed. My bucket list is a reflection of the things that I want so that my life now is enjoyable and the purpose I create with them for my life is my own creation. I find a lot of hope in this.
Honor:
“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”
Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.
Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.
This is the beginning of my hike bucket list as the first goal. If my ultimate goal as an old person is to hike the triple crown this is a good training hike to prepare for the idea of how to do something long term.
Courage:
“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”
Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.
Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.
Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.
This is a desire to visit a city I have seen for a few days once again and view all of its places. I loved this town as it did not feel like a city to me. More of an experience. I want to experience it again but this time for a couple weeks and enjoy it.
Truth:
“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”
Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others. To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.
Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.
A short term bucket list Item and one I am considering changing. Don’t get me wrong Latin is an awesome language to learn but I am thinking that if I am going to learn a language every couple of years, languages that are actually spoken now might be more beneficial and then learn Latin at a later date.
Higher Virtue: Love:
I am very focused on the fulcrum of self-love right now. my understanding that this is what makes all my other loves possible and stronger is the motivation. Mostly though I need to start focusing on my goals and bucket list because this is my life and I need to start living it and loving it.
Morning Routine:
Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
Meditation – 3 min.
Check Communications and Email.
Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
Stretching / Yoga
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day
This part got shorter. I don’t do breakfast and people freak out about it, but you know I have found that eating from what most people would consider 11am to 7pm is sufficient for me and intermittent fasting has proven, when coupled with my Paleo Diet, to improve my fat loss and weight management.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
As I look through all my goals, there is one of them that seems to rise to the top. A singular goal that is very important – finding a new and better paying job. This is the reason as a man in his late 40s I went back to school and got another degree. I now have that degree in hand but not a new job. Yet.
No matter how frustrated I get on this issue I attempt to move forward one step at a time. The most frustrating thing for me is landing an interview. Once that happens my odds go up tremendously because I can sell myself in person pretty well.
Once I have the new job a lot more things will open up for me. Other goals will be much more easy to attain. It comes down to putting the best effort I can toward this goal while at the same time keeping the identity of being a writer first and whatever second.
Self-Reliance:
“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”
Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.
Goal: Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.
Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.
‘By September 2019″ might be very difficult now. But it does show how frustrating this search has been and for how long – since January of this year I have been looking. I need to take my search nationwide at this point. I am willing to move anywhere at this point and I need this to happen as soon as possible. I might have to change this to March of 2020 but the goal is important so it needs to happen much sooner than that.
Industriousness:
“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”
Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.
Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)
Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.
This goal was finished four months ago, but it stands as a reminder of two things – I can achieve goals I set for myself and that the clock is ticking for the job goal.
Hospitality:
“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”
Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.
Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.
One goal of many that require a new job and more importantly a new location. I just don’t feel very socially comfortable around my home town anymore. I trusted people here and in this area and when the chips were down, many of them disappeared ot stabbed me. I need a fresh start in some other place.
Higher Virtue – Justice:
I need to shift in my mind, for peace of mind’s sake, from looking for justice for those that have wronged me. Might not happen for a while if ever. I need to be thinking of acting justly toward others that I am trying to form new relationships with. The problem is that I need then is to move and meet some new people to do this with. I just don’t trust anyone where I am anymore.
Work Day Routine:
Morning Routine
Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
Language Study: 15 min. on Latin
Reading – 1 chapter min.
Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2
This a solid routine that gets me closer to all my goals. The writing should be longer each day as I embrace being a writer more and more. The issue with that is learning to take things one step at a time and be patient with it.
Still walking,
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
Every time I set aside these journal posts for a little while I get reminded of their importance. I feel I lose focus every single time I do it so I might just want to make a mental note that I should not set these aside again – ever. That said, it has been in some way a good break so I can refocus what my life and this blog are about. For those of you that might be new followers, these posts are more for my benefit, but if you can learn something from my example then bonus.
This week I want to focus on my goals so below will be some notes regarding them under each virtue. I figure a four-week focus rotation might keep me from getting repetitious or bored. Week 1 – Virtue, Week 2 – Principle, Week 3 – Goals, Week 4 – Bucket List. This will allow for constant review and the ability to focus on more specific aspects once a month. I haven’t talked about my goals in a while so this will be week 3 so to speak.
The title ‘Viking Blood’ is actually a reference to some good news that happened this week. I had some blood work done Frigg and Freya’s Day this past week and the results were much better than expected. All my indicators are right down the middle so I am healthy in that respect and my A1c dropped from 7.5 the last time to 5.7 this time. 1.8 points in the last year and a half. Diet and exercise are definitely working. Still no complications due to my diabetic condition. Good News but still trying to get my A1c into the normal range which I am now .1 away. This Viking Blood of mine seems to be doing fine.
Honor:
“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”
Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.
Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.
When this post drops it will be 344 days straight for the Grey Wayfarer. That leaves 21 days to go. Goal complete on September 30th.
Courage:
“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”
Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.
Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.
Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.
I am a good job and some savings away from one of my bucket list items. Getting the tattoo would fulfill one of them. I just need the money.
Truth:
“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”
Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others. To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.
Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.
Now that I have determined my primary identity is a writer, I look at this goal as the first challenge of that. Getting that non-fiction book written my march is doable. I just need to discipline myself to write every day on it. I guess I look at this blog as stage one of my journey in becoming a writer and now it is time to write for publication purposes. Developing the discipline and habits to do that is my next priority along with finding a new job.
Higher Virtue: Love:
I still struggle with keeping my love of self right up there with love for family and friends. I know what happens when I continue to give up things I want and need to make others happy, eventually, I don’t give a shit and need relief at all costs. I want to avoid that situation, so self-love is on my mind a lot. Making sure I am taking care of me is and should be my number one priority. More on this later today.
Morning Routine:
Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
Meditation – 3 min.
Check Communications and Email.
Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
Stretching / Yoga
Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day
As for my Routine, I am going to get back to them a couple of days at a time. Tomorrow I want to get back to this one in full and then in a couple days my work one and then my rest one. Time to get my work and rest day routines back to where they need to be as this helps me the most with all my stuff.
I remain.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.
The Grey Wayfarer 