Honor

“The Walking Paradox – INFJ” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sif’s Day

Anyone who has been a part of The Grey Wayfarer family knows that I talk often about my personality type.  Myers-Briggs to me does a fairly decent job of defining personality through its simple four-letter designation.  Well, four letters and dash with either an A or T behind it to indicate whether one’s identity is assertive or turbulent.  In my case, my full letter combo is INFJ-A. I have found that in exploring the implications of this I have discovered more about myself and it has helped me with that struggle because as we will see in a moment, INFJ’s struggle with this.

My recent musings into the subject led me to discover a YouTube video that talked about how INFJ’s are walking contradictions. It is something I have heard and explored a little but the video offered some very specific contradictions that seem to be part of most INFJ’s and so after watching it I have to ask myself if they apply to me and more importantly what they mean for me.

8 Reasons Why INFJs are Often Described as a Walking Paradox

I like firstly how the video points out that it is not that we intend to be misleading or lack conviction but that our personality type puts us into these tensions.  We have a high value on personal integrity and these contradictions are mostly due to our complex nature.  With that let us dive into the eight contradictions and see if and how they apply to The Grey Wayfarer.

One – Craving deep connections, but being so private:

My standards of friendship and love are fairly high. This is the product of my desire for deep connection.  I want a few good/great friends not a whole bunch of different ones.  When it comes to love there are certain expectations I have coming back toward me.

The problem, of course, is that I am so very private as a person.  It makes it hard to form those friendships and my wife is learning that love is something very important to me and she needs to spend some time nurturing it or I start to think very dark thoughts about our relationship.  This happened once right after our last child graduated high school and I was expecting that now the two of us would get to spend more time together and rekindle some of that fire we had before kids, but that didn’t happen.  It almost caused a divorce seven years later. Part of that was me having a hard time talking about it and the other was my high expectations.

Two – You find people interesting and draining at the same time:

I am definitely a people watcher but interaction with them is draining, to say the least. I can spend all day on a park bench watching people and studying them.  I have been that way for a long time, pretty much most of my life. But in social situations where I have to interact with people I can only do that for so long and then I have to retreat and regroup periodically.

Three – You can understand people better, but you hardly understand yourself:

Oh yeah, this is why I probably spend so much time talking about my personality and how it works.  It’s more about self-understanding and trying to figure myself out than anything else. I have to think about my motives and desires, where figuring out other people’s motives and desires because of my natural empathy is far easier.

Four –  You love to help others, but you find people annoying at the same time:

Yep.  It made me a good pastor but at the same time a pastor that was constantly annoyed with people continuing to make the same mistakes and continued to drain my time with the same problem. I find the fascinating part of people lasts only so long and then their flaws become so apparent that I am ready to head for the door and when I can’t head to the door I feel trapped.

Five – Being a perfectionist who often forgets small details:

Yep.  I have a whole slew of small routines that are designed to make sure I don’t forget the little things and everything has its place mostly for practical reasons along the same line. I like things to be clean and things to go according to plan.  When small details don’t pan out, I can feel let down for sure.

I also don’t notice the little achievements I make as much.  I am looking for the big goal to be accomplished, so when small successes along the way to those big goals are present, I rarely notice them

Six – You are natural loners, but people often mistake you for an extravert:

“Ed, sometimes you are hard to read” and “But I thought you would like that (insert name of a social event)”.  I have heard those two a lot over the years.  Mostly because I am fun-loving and sarcastically humorous enough to wade through most social situations.  I am confident and my ‘-A’ tells you I am also assertive. I was a pastor that dealt with people on a regular basis. I get mistaken for an extravert a lot.

However, I would rather be home alone reading a book or writing or name that at home alone activity.  I am quite comfortable with my own company so I don’t ‘need’ social situations but I do need them periodically to remind me that I am a member of the human race.

Seven – You want to be in a relationship, but often choose to be single:

I am not single but the issues of being in a relationship that is loving are pretty high for me as I possess very high standards of what love is.  This actually causes a lot of problems in this area as I am very aware of what love is but most cannot live up to what I think. The video is spot on about being in love being rare as it has only happened to me three times and when it does I tend to take it hard when it doesn’t work out.

Eight – They are complex, but they have integrity:

This video describes us as being like an onion that you have to peel layer after layer away to get to a true understanding of an INFJ, and I don’t know too many INFJs that would disagree.  It can take literally years to completely understand all aspects of our personality. In the end, if you take that kind fo time you may actually understand us better than we understand ourselves.

Our idealism, however, has a large amount of personal honor to it.  It is no accident that the part of Asatru I struggle with the most is honor and it is the struggle I consider most important. I find it actually more upsetting to myself at my failure to uphold my honor than I give two shits about what others think of it.

Conclusion:

Being walking contradiction or paradox is probably the most accurate thing I have heard to describe me.  Whether this applies to other INFJs I would not speculate but if it is common enough to talk about this way, it is probably mostly true.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

“Pack Mentality” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 16

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

Rogue Wizard’s Journal – September 10th, 2019

Well, it’s been a helluva three days.  Time to write a report of sorts so I can collect my thoughts about it all.

Amber got better and after a day, she had no symptoms of lycanthropy at all.  Apparently, our ‘sexual healing’ sessions have worked and I have transferred my antibodies to her.  Not that we have stopped the sessions.  What is it about sex that we human beings find so addicting given its two potential consequences are so long term.  Of course, now that this Trois love triangle is complete, it actually has had a few Trois sessions of lovemaking.  I don’t know about this sometimes, but we all seem happy about it and Amber is back up being who she was before.

This whole thing has made me realize that the cure for lycanthropy is right in the whole sexual magic thing.  In mage circles, it could literally spread by sexual activity.  I doubt however it would happen because it is outside the box thinking and The council has never been good at that but also it involves a much more open definition of relationships that are emotional and loving. It would require a lot of polyamory and even jumps across those boundaries of sexual mores.

The other issue is where the werewolf came from and we didn’t have to look very far for that one. Lunette shrunk down and put on her leaf clothes and took her tiny dagger and using her illusion magic, did a scout run. For my part, while she was away I set up my wards both on the cabin and sauna bathhouse as well as the path between the two. Anything gets too close and not only would it go off like an alarm in my head but some of my wards turned the crosser into fireballs if they were magical in nature.

This has been good because it has set all of our minds at ease about being surprised again.  So the sauna bath, skinny dipping has resumed.  The sauna bath is now getting used for more than bathing activity now but still we get clean in the end and cooled off in the lake before coming back to the cabin.

We are still all on edge a little.  The werewolf has done one thing for sure and that is it makes us a little more aware of what is going on around us.  Today though Lunette returned from her scouting run, and after taking off her leaves, grows back to normal size.  She was back a little early and that’s when she reported that she found the lair of the werewolves.  A little cabin of their own about five miles away.  She figured there were still five of them.  Most of them were sleeping when she had been there, but there had been one on guard duty and being a werewolf was quite alert.

We now know where they are, and our own little pack is ready for some wolf hunting. I like wolves normally and werewolves, when they are first werewolves, are still pretty much themselves. It the slow rot of the human side of them that makes them dangerous. Some can hold this off for decades but it is inevitable in the end that they become feral.

Our plan is to attack them tomorrow during the day.  This doesn’t necessarily make them weaker just werewolves are usually up all night because they are the moon’s children.  They stay up in the early and later parts of the day much like most people do with the night.  If we hit them in the middle of the day, the element of surprise might help us even the odds at first.  We are all in agreement about what needs to be done which is eliminate them.  We have our own pack mentality.

I have my concerns though.  This is going to draw attention. Attention that we don’t need.  However, if they discover where we are and that we killed one of their own, they will be out for blood.  Their pack mentality demands vendetta and revenge.  Better to attack them first than wait for them to attack us.

Hopefully, there will be another journal entry tomorrow.

Writer’s Notes: 

While I haven’t written on this, people might be asking me a personal question right about now.  Would you actually ever be a part of a polyamorous relationship?  The answer is ‘yes’. But not presently.  My wife and I are under vows which involve exclusivity which I honor because of my belief in Fidelity and Honor so I keep my vows based on this. Now understand as an atheist/agnostic type, the fact those vows were made before ‘God’ does not matter anymore to me,  What matters is my own word and keeping it as much as possible regardless when that word was given.  

See the source image

That said, as a libertarian and now free thinker, I think marriage and the whole licensing and vows things is both unnecessary and a con job.  It is mostly done for religious control reasons, legal reasons (which could be handled by a lawyer and a contract instead) and the states attempt to take rights from you and then make money licensing them back to you. That’s right folks, there is nothing that says I love and trust you like getting the state and religion to give their nod that it is Ok for you to be in a relationship with each other (sarcasm flag). Sorry, you can live with each other, have sex and have children and none of that requires a license or shouldn’t.  The commitment to each other thing is going to be what it is regardless of license, vows or rings.  

But getting back to the personal question, I think it is good for a person to get rid of things like jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to another person. It seems to me that you are getting closer to unconditional love when you do that.  If such love is even possible. So yes I would, but right now I am under my own virtues of honor and fidelity to love only one woman – my wife.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Goals and Routine” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

My meditations have been on my routines but I have to go back to my goals and look at the ones I have achieved and asked what part of my routines helped me achieve them.  This really involves a lot of thought about Routines in the sense that they not only have to line up with goals they also have to practically work.  If I don’t do them and they don’t actually help me achieve my goals then they need change.

This last goal that was achieved reminds me of the fact that feelings cannot be a measure of whether you decide to work on your goals.  If I relied on feelings to achieve blogging every day I would have never made it.  Any writer will tell you that you have to sit down and write regardless of feelings. Writer’s block to me is just another mythological excuse.  I had to sit down at my computer and write regardless of feelings and still do as the streak of daily posts continue.

I need to learn to branch this out a little more to other areas like writing my novel and a non-fiction book, and doing the other things writers do – reading.  The fact is the things I do despite feelings I am having good results in and the rest flounders because I let feelings determine if I do them or not.  That needs to change.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Goal Achieved and that is three out of nine for the year. My thoughts though are this goal is going to be regularly about getting past feelings nad getting habit in my life I need to be a successful writer.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I’m picturing in my head getting a new job, saving up some money and then getting my tattoo on my shoulder.  This would cross off two goals and a bucket list item off this list.  it is the next real major milestone in the journey and need to get there soon. The job search is also one of those things that need to get past feelings.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

In order to write my non-fiction book, writing needs to be every day.  Another place where – “I don’t feel like it’ cannot be present.

Higher Virtue: Love:

If I am going to balance out everything else with love of self, getting past my feelings is the key.  Literally. I need to start putting my feelings to love others in a proper perspective and I need to have some feelings about loving myself that are more developed.  That requires an objective look at feelings – why I have them and what they accomplish. Loving me has become I priority if I am going to move forward with my life and stop these anchors from the past from holding me back.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I am starting today looking at every line of my routines and asking questions about what I need to make them work better and more consistently.  For the Morning Routine, the thing that is missing is a meditation altar and I am going to spend some money to make one with some candles, incense and I found a valknut plaque to be a centerpiece. It’s kind of a project that hopefully will make meditation a little more formal and thus effectively done.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Tyr – One-Handed Justice” (Asatru – Part 13) – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Wolf Totem” – The Hu

I discovered this group that has more of a Mongolian feel but the song is titled ‘Wolf Totem’ which, given Tyr’s one story involves Fenrir the great Wolf, seems fitting.

Lyric Video:

Meditation:
No photo description available.

 

Text:

See the source image

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: 

The god Tyr’s name still lives on every time you say Tuesday.  It is his day and it probably speaks of this god’s importance more than any other than right up there with Odin and Thor. Tyr is much discussion of Tyr’s sphere as it would be simple to say he governs war, truth, and justice but the seems to be a mixing of the three ideas so in truth he may be more the god of trial by combat.  That truth and justice are ultimately played out in martial combat or a trial by combat is what Tyr represents and if there is a god that represents honor, it is Tyr.

Tyr’s appearance in Norse mythology is twofold.  The first is minor in the creation of beer for the gods but it is mentioned that he is the child of giants.  As a spiritual concept, I find this interesting as it seems to be saying that nature’s force has a way of bringing about justice and Tyr is simply a more civilized manifestation of that.

The second and main story that Tyr is known for is the story of Fenrir the Great Wolf.  In that story demonstrates his honor in that he refuses to remove his hand from Fenrir’s mouth and does to get Fenrir to trust the god’s final test of strength with the chain that actually binds Fenrir for Ragnarok.  But before that what strikes me as interesting is he seems to be the only god not afraid of Fenrir.  This actually speaks of the notion some warriors have of honor making one fearless.  Tyr seems to invoke that image in his story rather well.

To the followers of Asatru Tyr, of course, is remembered every Tuesday and his story is one that is repeated to demonstrate courage and honor.  Something that all Asatru followers hold highly given they are two of the Nine Noble Virtues.  I guess I find in the story of Tyr much the same along with the concept of how much are you willing to sacrifice for both victory and honor?  Tyr reminds us all that the price can be very close to home and should not be considered wasted if it leads to a good end.

Tyr is revered by those who seek justice so military and police officers who are Asatru gravitate to him as well as those who seek a balancing of the scales with Christianity.  For myself I find his story inspiring as far as honor and courage.

Hail Tyr, God of Truth, Justice, and War!  God of the Northern Star. Hail! 

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: text

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Cold Hard Reality of Justice” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Justice

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

The cold hard reality of justice is that you may never receive it. Ever.  No matter how much you desire it or want to think you deserve it, justice may elude you. It this injustice of life that causes people to think if a final cosmic justice after death where the scales are balanced and everyone gets what they deserve.  Every type of life after death mythos has this in it in some way. The problem is that there is no evidence that this will ever happen. It might be something hoped for, but it is likely to be all nonsense and wishful thinking.

When people ask me what I believe, I tell them that I have no active belief in any god of any type. That makes me for all practical purposes an atheist. I occasionally conceded it would be nice if deism was true, but believing in a creator cause is a far cry from all the other claims of theism of any kind. Including any form of a goddess, that holds a scale in her hand one hand and a sword in the other and is blindfolded.  That is mythology.

See the source image

The sad real truth is many people will never receive justice for what has been done to them and in some cases, you have to be content with it.  Notice, I didn’t say forgive because in my opinion forgiveness should not just be given toward injustice.  Forgiveness being encouraged is often simply an excuse for those who have the power to get away with wrongdoing and abuse. A man who sexually abuses and rapes his daughter should have his dick cut off; not be forgiven.

There are other ways to get peace about things that happen to you, forgiveness needs to be carefully measured and viewed in the light of contrition from the person who did the harm in the first place.  Without contrition and restitution upfront, forgiveness is not deserved in my opinion.  Justice is a better option until those things take place.

Justice can take many forms and merits a discussion in regards to philosophy outside of any final afterlife balancing of the scales. So…

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

To illustrate my meaning here, I will use my own unpleasant experience with and desire for justice to take place toward The Dirty Pig.  I need justice in this regard as I know like so many others who have wronged me, they haunt me like ghosts to this very day. I never get over them and that is simply how I am.  I learn to cope but it never sits right with me ever.  The only exception has been when I learned later that karma or the universe had bitten them in the ass in much the same way.  The leadership of my former denomination that was instrumental in my downfall from my second church is a good example as later I learned their own bad actions caught up with them and they too were discredited.

I need something similar to happen to the Dirty Pig for my conscience’s sake.  Such justice allows me to smile and truly walk away and not look back.

Wants (Freki):

I want justice in regard to The Dirty Pig as well.  Pardon me if I think people who are fake and false friends should be seen for it. That an honorless person should be exposed as being honorless. That people who have a trail of broken friendships they no longer saw as useful to them or that were necessary to shuck off to cover their own ass should face the consequences of being narcissistic self-righteous assholes.  Yes, pardon me for think justice should be enacted on people who are sanctimonious jerks who use people to entertain themselves.  Sorry, I don’t just want to see it with the Dirty Pig, I want to take the sword from lady justice and use it myself.See the source image

Reason (Huginn):

All that said with my wolves howling for justice, the raven of reason caws and reminds me I may never see it, or be the one who holds the sword, and I need to be ready for that.  I need to be content that it may be someone else he has wronged (there are many of us) that brings down the old boar known as The Dirty Pig.  In such a moment I need to be content with simply toasting that bringer of justice’s good fortune.  I may also have to accept that he may die having never received justice. Then my contentment will come from toasting in contempt of his memory and I won’t be alone in that regard.

Wisdom (Muninn):

The raven of wisdom caws – patience. Yeah, I can do that. Mostly one day I know he is going to need friends and because he has thrown so many of us away as no longer worthy, he will be lacking in that regard. The potential and probability for poetic justice are very high given his behavior and patterns.  He also isn’t as smart as he thinks he is and that means he has the potential to make a mistake with the wrong person who will show him for what he is. Yeah, I wait and watch.  My fury can stay smoldering and focused on the right time to act.

Conclusion:

In the last two years, I can say three traumatic events have happened in my life. I loved and lost Miss Salty.  I nearly got a divorce from my wife.  Someone I thought was a good friend turned his back on me.  He lied to me and used someone I loved and a congregation I loved to get his own version of honorless justice to prove he was the kingfish. He slandered me, lied about me and stabbed me in the back.  In doing so he demonstrated his lack of honor, friendship and concern for anyone but himself. Of the three it is the only one I am still angry about and want justice for.  But, I realize patience and keeping myself open to the many forms justice may take is necessary.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“One Year – Made it” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

The moment this post goes active, there will be a WordPress notification that tells me this is a streak of 365 days – 1 year.  Tomorrow will be the one-year birthday celebration and I will talk about that in more detail then.  But for today, I want to take a deep breath and enjoy the fact that a finish line was crossed.  Something I set out to do was completed and quite frankly right now I could use the win.

In the ‘A Skald’s Life’ posts this week I will be focusing on the principles of each virtue.  The virtue is the idea, the principle is the beginning plan of action to make it happen. A guiding idea that takes each virtue and puts it into practice.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Honor is one of the most tricky virtues of them all. I have worked hard to shuck off the past and live in the present moment. One can only take one’s honor at the present moment and build it and that comes from a sense of personal pride. I still struggle here for myself but note people who are honorable and people who are not.

Goal achieved today.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

What specifically is the right thing to do is often self-evident for me.  The tricky part is to act on it at the right time. If there is one specific thing that happened recently it was to take the plunge and be a writer first and whatever second.  That said now finding a better job may be in focus, but given the situation at my current work, I just don’t feel that is my avenue to find a better job.  Time to search for something better with more energy and act with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I am not sure honesty serves me well in all things, but I guess given my personality I would rather fail and maintain truth than succeed with a lie. My personality would never see this as a liability as INFJs are idealistic as fuck and here I am. I find myself quiet a lot these days.  I simply don’t think most of humanity is ready for the truth because it is uncomfortable. I would rather stay quiet than engage the comforting lies most people tell themselves.

Higher Virtue: Love:

The struggle between the love of myself and the love of others continues. The warnings I have gotten from studying my personality and my counselors over the years echo in my head – ‘You need to remember to take care of yourself. It’s something you are going to struggle with, so remember to do it.”  Yeah, I know.  I just keep running into a wall about it.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Better, but needs to be complete.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Corsair” – Space Tramp – Chapter 6 (MegaTraveller Fan Fiction)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Story:

Captian Junos shook Jeremiah’s Hand for the last time as his captain.   She told him it had been an honor to serve with him and to be his captain.  He, in turn, thanked her for all the training and support she had given him for the last five years.  She was retiring and selling the Regina Strider because the last speculative trade run had not only been very profitable, it had put the last pieces in place for her to retire on Regina, her homeworld.

Jeremiah thought back to the day after the refit was finished and the captain had accounted what was going to happen that next year. Firstly that he was not going to be the pilot or engineer that year.  He was not even going to be the Steward/Medic.  Rather he took the role of navigator/security officer.  Captain Junos had hired a top-notch pilot and engineer and they were not going to need a steward as they were engaged purely in a speculative trade run in very lucrative goods along the border of the Empire.

That’s why the refit of the Regina Strider had also involved installing a weapons turret with a missile launcher. Something that before they left Jeremiah was trained to operate as it would be his responsibility in the event of a pirate attack to use the turret in combat.  In simulations, he was eventually very good at it.

The one problem was that he was a security officer and he realized he had never actually been trained in anything martial.  He began to ask around and discovered that the new engineer had been in the military and has some knowledge of weapons.  Jeremiah asked if he would train him and the engineer, a rough middle-aged man, suggested he learn to use small blades.

There were a lot of reasons for this.  Inside a starship, a battle was going to be close quarters and so distance weapons would be less important.  Secondly, a blade was a solid weapon that on most systems one could still wear openly or concealed for personal protection.  It was easier to learn knife fighting than most other things. The entire trip the engineer trained him in small blades and even though he never had to actually use the skills he had learne, he was good at using them by the end of the trip.

The real test came as they entered a system to refuel at a gas giant.  There was no good starport so they were simply going to top off the fuel tanks and run the onboard purifier.  The process took some days because you had to travel to the gas giant. Doing hyperspace jump in a strong gravity well is dangerous.  So, you then had to travel enough distance away from the gravity well of the gas giant to jump all the while letting the purifier refine the fuel.

They were approaching the gas giant when the corsair starship appeared. Hails did no good as it was clear that the pirates intended to disabling the Regina Strider and boarding her. Jeremiah activated the missile launcher and after getting a target lock fired a salvo of three missiles.  The corsair had not expected a merchant ship with teeth but continued to pursue despite the missiles. Jeremiah guided the three missiles and used his skill to make them come in from three directions.

The Pilot maneuvered their ship to be evasive and Captian Juros showed a little knowledge of ship tactics.  The end result was the pirate ship was hit twice but did manage to hit the Strider with its own beam weapons which disabled the maneuver drive. The corsair, however, must have been gravely damaged as it broke off and disengaged. limping back the way it came. Jeremiah sent a couple missles after it to keep it moving away.

The engineer and the rest of the crew of Strider went to work getting the maneuver drive back up and running and succeeded in a few hours. With the corsair nowhere on the sensors, they fueled up and headed to the jump point. The hyperspace jump was a welcome relief as everyone was on edge thinking the corsair would reappear, but it never did.

A couple jumps later they were back on Regina.  The cargo they brought had done far better than expected. Jeremiah was given a large bonus and Captian Junos announced her retirement.  As it turned out the pilot and engineer were old friends of hers who had over the years invested in her ship.  All of them were going to retire to very comfortable lives.

All of them met at The Naked Gypsy for a combination of celebrations.  Captain Junos’ retirement from the Free Traders was well celebrated by many free trader captains. But also Jeremiah had passed his 2nd Officer exam and had been promoted. Captain Junos said it was fitting that as she was going out, a bright star of the future was rising.  She was very proud of the man he had become and even said so. She was glad that she had taken a chance on a young man from Strouden those five years ago.

Eventually, the celebrations died down and Captian Junos said goodbye to him.  She had a ship to put up for sale and then was traveling to another city on Regina where she had purchased a home. She did something he didn’t expect while telling him if he ever needed her help with something to not hesitate to call her; she kissed him.  Gently and with a lot of motherly love, something that Jeremiah had never experienced in truth until then.  He watched her leave with a large sadness in his heart.

The rest of the evening he sat at the bar and pondered his next move. His possessions were in a duffle bag at his feet and everything else was on his person. It seemed strange to not have the Strider to go back to as it had been his home for five years.  He had learned a lot these last five years and now it was time to put that to the test in finding a new ship and captain to serve. He was wondering what challenges were in store for him next.

He downed his last drink and then gathered his duffle bag over his shoulder.  He was a Spacer and he would land on his feet.  In the meantime, it was time for some companionship of the female variety, so he headed upstairs to the brothel.

Megatraveler Notes:

Free Trader 3rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O2 – 3rd Officer   Terms Served: 1

UPP: A67A74   Age: 22  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Carousing – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 3 

Year Five:

Roll for position availability: 8+ 1 for Intelligence = 9  – position available.

Roll for assignment: 9 + 1 for Social 5- = 10 – Speculative Trade

Survival Roll: 5 – survives (barely -again),

Skill Roll: 5 – Skill acquired.

Bonus: 9 – Bonus – roll: 6 muster out table: 50,000 Cr / 2 = 25000 Cr. bonus.

Promotion: 8 – Promoted to 2nd Officer

Roll for Skills: ( 1 fo skill roll/ 1 for promotion): Shipboard Life Table: Blade Combat Cascade: picks Small Blade – 1, Free Trader Service Table: 5 – Space Combat Cascade: Picks Gunnery Cascade: picks Turret Weapons -1

1 Brownie Point for promotion:

MegaTraveller Shorthand

Free Trader 2rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O3 – 2nd Officer   Terms Served: 1

UPP: A67A74   Age: 23  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 4, Bonus Money: 25000 Cr.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Strong Foundation” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week we return to the beginning and talk ao but Virtues; particularly the virtues of The Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru and the Higher Virtues. In my own philosophy, I have broken these down into three groups of the virtues each with their own corresponding higher virtue. This is my conceptualization and other followers of Asatru might do it differently.

The first group for me is what I call the foundational virtues: Honor, Courage, and Truth with the corresponding higher virtue of Love. For me, this is symbolized by the bottom triangle of the Vulknut.  It is about the part of my philosophy that is foundational in the sense it deals with everything and all situations. These are the virtues that form the bedrock of my philosophy.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Honor is not just a word to me.  I do find the struggle interesting of being an honorable person is a modern world that seems not to have any at all at times. Having a feeling of inner value and worth seems to be constantly challenged. My foundational drive is to have that sense fo honor. I also seke to recognize and praise the honorable. Honor is a tricky and difficult virtue, probably the most difficult.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Doing what is right is not always easy to figure out.  Once I do I have gotten much better at acting on what is right but it still is the question of what is right?  That takes some time to figure out and honestly, my track record tells me I take too long at that part of it. I am getting better because time is something important to me and wasting time trying to make decisions that ate perfectly right is not ultimately productive.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

It takes a while to get real shit (truth) form me because I don’t just give that out to anyone. I prefer silence when it comes to the truth to most other people.  Most people don’t want the truth anyway, they want comforting lies.  The more real issue to me is remaining truthful with myself.  It helps that I now see this as a loving act toward myself to be truthful.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage, and Truth coem together to form the foundation of love.  That leads to one aspect that I now struggle with which is creativity.  For me, my muse has always flown from something or somebody I have loved.  For whatever reason, when I have a certain type of love for someone it is the best kind of foundation for creative work. For me writing, in particular, is fueled by this kind fo love. my best times of writing and most productive is where I have had someone I loved very deeply and it flowed to my fingers and out on to digital paper.

The frustrating thing is this has never worked with my family, even my wife.  I wonder sometimes if this is because certain love is expected and not just freely offered.  I know my most productive time of creativity was Feb 2018 to July 2018 but that was Miss Salty and that also had some serious downsides in the end.  Now, I just search for a new muse and I wonder who or what I have to love to find her.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Solid, working more on consistency at all levels.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Kicking the Bucket” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week I consider my bucket list. You know that list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. This list is the major milestone I want to hit before my death and i think it is important to have long term goals and that is what they are.

People ask me without Christianity how do I have hope.  I ask them why they would assume that just because I don’t believe in the Chrisitan version of the afterlife any more that I wouldn’t have hope?  If you always looking to the beyond for your justification for living in hope now; I would say you are too heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good. Hope for me is not about life after but the life I have now.

As I deist I concede the atheists might be right and this is all I get. I also hope there is a life after death but I am not going to act as if that is guaranteed.  My bucket list is a reflection of the things that I want so that my life now is enjoyable and the purpose I create with them for my life is my own creation. I find a lot of hope in this.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

This is the beginning of my hike bucket list as the first goal.  If my ultimate goal as an old person is to hike the triple crown this is a good training hike to prepare for the idea of how to do something long term.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

This is a desire to visit a city I have seen for a few days once again and view all of its places. I loved this town as it did not feel like a city to me.  More of an experience.  I want to experience it again but this time for a couple weeks and enjoy it.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

A short term bucket list Item and one I am considering changing.  Don’t get me wrong Latin is an awesome language to learn but I am thinking that if I am going to learn a language every couple of years, languages that are actually spoken now might be more beneficial and then learn Latin at a later date.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I am very focused on the fulcrum of self-love right now. my understanding that this is what makes all my other loves possible and stronger is the motivation.  Mostly though I need to start focusing on my goals and bucket list because this is my life and I need to start living it and loving it.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This part got shorter.  I don’t do breakfast and people freak out about it, but you know I have found that eating from what most people would consider 11am to 7pm is sufficient for me and intermittent fasting has proven, when coupled with my Paleo Diet, to improve my fat loss and weight management.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Escape” – Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 12

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizards Journal – August 20th, 2019

If you had told me three days ago I would be sitting in a cabin in some unknown location in the upper peninsula of Michigan and writing in a journal I haven’t touched in months, I would have told you that it was highly improbable. But here I am and the last 3 days has been something that definitely took away the boredom of the past couple of months.

Well, it hasn’t been completely boring as sexual activity with an attractive middle-aged pixie is always a treat. Just the right amount of energy and experience. Yes, Lunette and I are still a thing. It’s actually gone quite well other than I began to get alarmed at how much we weren’t paying attention to the situation or doing our research the first couple of weeks.  We were having a lot of sex.

Eventually, though things evened out a bit and the nights with Lunette were a welcome end to a day’s work where we could change gears and just enjoy one another on all levels. She is a different woman since high school.  More conscientious and far less stuck up. I am glad she is with me right now because the situation has gotten dramatically worse.

Three days ago, Amber knocks on the door.  Lunette answers it and she hustles in without the normal ‘is it ok if I come in’. She informs us that the Lioness received communication from the Council which basically amounted to an accusation that she was harboring a fugitive, namely me.  There must have been a leak and that means not all of the mages of House Venus are loyal to the Lioness.  No surprise, but that meant this place being a safe house was over.

We were prepared for this and in a few minutes I had my magic books in my backpack, and I had changed into my traveling garb which was basically a pair of jean shorts, a dark grey t-shirt, and some trail boots.  Lunette for her part has packed some potions in my backpack.  She was going to shrink down in size eventually,  so she had prepared a small outfit made of enchanted leaves and she also had a very small dagger to match.  She kept this stuff in a small box in her back pocket of her cutoff shorts she was now wearing along with her pink t-shirt, so when she shrunk down she could put them on then by pulling it out first.

I cast some wards on the rest of the stuff in the room.  Some things could only be opened by my direct descendants.  Others would basically disintegrate if anyone tried to touch or use them except me. Not leaving anything for the bad guys. The real issue now was how to leave the mansion without being seen or having a fight.

Amber had our solution which as to get to the portal room.  Basically, all these mage types equipped their bases with magic portals.  They were expensive in terms of cost both to create and use, so they tended to be rare. But it would be smart fo the Lioness to be near one so she could get anywhere effectively in the world. The only trick was magic stones were required to power them and they were expensive to make and only lasted a couple times before depleted.

The trick to this portal, in particular, is it was in the second basement at the far end away from us and that meant finding away to get there without being seen.  the second problem was wherein all creation to go once we used it. We had a little time so pulled out the map I had magically made of the mansion thanks to Nevermore and Lunette.  I could look through Nevermore’s eyes and Lunette made him invisible and silent so he could fly about.  Using what he saw I had made a fairly detailed map of the layout of the mansion.

The path through the upper parts was easy enough, the only thing was to slip past all the guards but Amber figured she could escort us where we needed to be.  The second basement would be easily reached through the first level, but then things would get dicey. There was part fo the second basement that was beyond even Amber’s security clearance and one of those was the portal room which was only accessible to the Lioness and a few trusted others.  We might have to fight their way through at that point.

“The second level has illusion countermeasures.  Lunette’s power will be less helpful down there.”

“Yeah, but Lunette and I are good at fighting together, and if I go taking out some of these House Venus female superiority types, that’s a fine way to go.  No offense Amber.”

“No offense taken. I think it is time for me to leave my house anyway.  I was born into it, but I don’t agree at all with their ideals – I like men as more than playthings.”

“So you are coming with us?”, Lunette asked.

“Have to.  They will know I helped you and they will have me executed for treason. Better to take my chances with you, and you need the firepower anyway. Things are going to get hot and you need someone hotter.”

She winked and I laughed. Lunette frowned.

“The real question is where to go once we use the portal?’, Amber’s question and it brought me to the one thing I had never thought of before. Lunette spoke.

“I know a place we could go to.  A safe house I used to use.  It’s a cabin in the upper peninsula and quite secluded.  It is not going to be a permanent place, but it might buy us time.”

“Ok. that actually sounds good. Any chance it is occupied?”, I asked.

“No, it’s a family place and the only ones who used it was me and my parents.”

Amber nodded in agreement and we set out to the second basement.

Lunette basically made herself silent and invisible. We figured if it was only me and Amber I could look like I was being escorted to the Lioness who was usually in the basement. In fact, that was our cover story.  The people in the mansion were used to me walking around as I would do that once or twice every day with Amber in tow so nothing unusual to alarm them.

We reached the stairway to the second level of the basement and paused to collect ourselves.  I knew there were two guards at the bottom of the stairs. If the Lioness was in the second basement, we could get past them with our cover story. I had been in the second basement several times but this is where the invisible Nevermore had been the most helpful.  If not we would have to fight past them.

The Lioness was in the second basement so they let us past, but that meant we might run into her and that would require some fast-talking. I wanted to get out of this place with as little noise as possible. I wanted to leave as many questions as possible after we disappeared as to where we were.  Oddly enough, there were no guards at all on the second level and we walked pretty much in a straight line to the portal room.  I was suspicious as fuck about this and so were my two companions. Lunette especially since she was visible and could be heard.

“Ok, I am going to shrink down.  I smell a fight.  She took out the small box from her back pocket and put it in my palm.  She shrunk down and her clothes collapsed on the floor. She landed on my palm and after opening the box, got dressed and put the belt with the dagger around her waist. She winked at me and I smiled. She knew I had been watching.  I picked up her clothes and put them in my pack.

“Ok, I am ready,” she said as she drew her dagger.

We opened the door to the portal room and were surprised – Only the Lioness was present in front of the portal which looked like a big looking glass about seven feet in diameter and a true circle ringed with a bluish gem-like material.

“I knew you would come here.  I made sure Amber knew about the communication from the Council.  They will be here tomorrow and you need to be gone.”

I was flabbergasted, “You want us to leave, no heads on a platter to save your sensual curvy ass.”

“Thanks for noticing. I do squat in the gym you know?  But yes, I can give you this last kindness, I truly believe in a world where magic is everyone’s to use, but the time for revolution is not yet. You need to go and the portal is the best way to go without anyone noticing.  Here.”

She walked across the room and handed me a blue gemstone pendant and necklace.

“This is the power source for the portal.  It is fully charged so all of you can go with one shot. Whoever is picking the location need only to think of it and walk through holding the other two’s hands.”

“Thanks…you know you could gain some pretty good influence by handing us all over to the Council on a silver plate.”

“Yes, but I gave my word and that means something to me.”

“Thanks again. Janice.”

She looked startled at her real name.  Then blushed.

“Don’t tell me where you are going, the less I know the better.”

She started to walk past me then stopped and leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Take care of Amber for me.  She is special to me.”

Then she walked out.

Lunette took off her leaf clothes and dagger and put them back in the box.  She grew back to normal size and I handed her clothes back which she deftly put on in a couple seconds. I put the necklace and pendant around her neck and she kissed me hard.

“Ok, each of you take one of my hands.”

I took her left hand in mine and Amber took her right.  We walked forward, the mirrored surface gave way and we walked through like it was a vertical pool of water and BLINK.

Suddenly, we were in front of a cabin in the woods.  A rather nice one with real logs and glass windows.  The necklace was gone.  It probably was still in the room we left right at the edge of the portal with the gem now spent of magical energy.  We, however, we’re somewhere in the upper peninsula of Michigan.

These last couple of days have been uneventful.  The problem is we are now out of the loop as far as information.  The cabin is nice enough.  Two bedrooms and an actual bathroom and a common area with a kitchen, small dining table and a couch in front of a fireplace all in one.  Cramped in some ways but close to a lake.  Down the path, a couple dozen feet is a small lake with a shed on the edge. It serves as both storages for the rowboat oars and as a sauna bathhouse.  Food is canned or boxed so we all plan on going to the small town five miles away.  No vehicle so we will have to make a day out of it and walk.

I took Nevermore out of his pocket dimension and let him fly about.  So far no alarm bells.  Well other than the U.P. is known to be a werewolf country. We can’t stay here for too long.  But it will be a nice rest for as long as it lasts.  For me, it is simply good to get outside and walk around.  Neither the pixies or mages claim this part of the world as fully theirs, so it is somewhat safer.   Time, I guess, to wait for a little and see what is next.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!