Love

“A Belated Father’s Day Post” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 12

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

I have been meaning to write this post all week long.  I have had three days off and still was not able to muster the emotional strength to do so.  My father meant a lot to me, words can’t express it, and every Father’s Day I wish he was here so I could say “Happy Father’s Day Dad, I love you.”  After a few moments of that wish, the sadness comes and I realize that I can’t do that because he is gone.

I had my first bought with deep depression after his death.  My first time walking the real Grey and I had the hardest time with it. I was in a depressed state for at least a year and I never really came out of it until I found someone who didn’t judge me for it but actually understood and helped me through it.   That person at the time gave me meaning and purpose again and I was able for the first time to stand and keep walking.

Looking back it wasn’t my faith in Christianity or Jesus that got me through it, just the need for purpose. Reaching deep down and find the reason to keep living when your depressed is hard but the only way to not let it beat you.  That is the key to getting past the depression of losing someone close to you – finding the reason to keep living and going on.  Once I understood this, I have walked the Grey ever since instead of falling victim to it like at that time after my father’s death. I had to do that a lot last year.

I had to take those life lessons and use them a lot last year. I think it created in me my personality that is unique and I had to use one of its strengths last year I didn’t expect. I have found that my personality has this thing called ‘ the door slam’ and it is very real.  When people are no longer part of your life because they have chosen to betray your friendship or walk away from you, you can slam the door in your mind on them and never look back as an INFJ.

One man in particular last year I did this to after I found out he used my trust of him and my love for my congregation and my flame against me to get what he wanted. I literally want nothing to do with him other than to hear that he has been found out for the fraud he is.  I will smile and clap at that moment and move on with lighter steps. But I am moving on without him and I don’t miss him. The door is slammed behind me for him. The only thing I really deal with now is the trust issues are higher because of him.

I can’t do this with people I love deeply.  No matter how bad they hurt me, I can never slam the door on them.  It is always open a crack. It makes me vulnerable to them which in some cases scares that shit out of me.  In other cases, like my father, the vulnerability turns to The Grey. The helpless vulnerable state of being depressed about missing them and not being able to do anything about it. I have been fighting it regarding my father all week long.

I am coming to the hardest part of the summer as memories of last year get really dramatic and my emotional swings from last year were very intense.  This makes memories of them tough and a swirling storm of The Grey I am walking through right now.  I wish it was late August as the memories start to get happier. But I have a couple more months of this to go.  But my father’s wisdom and the lessons I learned from his death and moving on from it are still with me.

Well, this is a father’s day post so allow me a moment of conversation with my departed dad.

“Happy Father’s Day, Dad – wherever you are. I love you and I miss you.  I wish you could be here to see what your grandchildren have become – they are all awesome and your great-grandkids are out of this world.  I feel they have all been robbed by not knowing you better.  I am fairly sure you would have spoiled them with your love by now.

I don’t know if you would be proud of me anymore.  I don’t really care in some ways about that.  I just wish you were here so I could say I love you and get one more of your monster hugs that would crush my chest. I feel that still when Ed, Jr. hugs me.  He is a lot like you. I wish you could have seen him play ball – you would have loved it.  He is becoming a great father like you. Justin is a hard worker like you and has made his own life which would make you proud.  Patience – well that little one year old you used to carry, is all grown up and taking care of your wife.  She lives in the house you used to call your home and now it is hers and I know you would be proud of that. You would be very proud of the woman she has become, I know I am.

I see bits and pieces of you in all of them.  Sparks of your legacy.  I love you and miss you, but every now and then I see you in them and you don’t seem so far away. Even little Otto has your eyes and your happiness. You still live in all of them.  For that, I am thankful to you and the father you were.

I love you, dad. I always will.”

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“April-June 2019 Assessment (Part One) ” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I divide the years into quarters.  I don’t start with January but April because my birthday is in March and that month basically marks the end of the yearly cycle for me.  The issues are at present 1) a quarterly review of progress to see how I am progressing toward each goal I have and 2) developing and adjusting my routines to achieve them. This week will be about the assessment and next week would be about making changes.

Overall I have been doing OK.  I have completed 2 out of the nine yearly goals so far this year which is on pace to have all but one of them done by March of 2020.  Mostly to achieve these I have to have something either in my daily or weekly routines to make this work. That way there is something going on regularly to achieve said goals.

In the area of changes, I want to do the following after almost three months of doing things the way I am doing them currently.

  1. I want to make sure that my Goals are yearly things and my Bucket List Items are more long term.
  2. I want to move as many things from the Weekly Routine to the Daily as Possible.
  3. I want to also introduce a simple concept – days off are different than days I work. I want days off to still be restful but productive in certain ways.

I am going to evaluate my progress here with each goal or bucket list item as far as the last three months and suggest some changes for thought that I will make next week.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

My goal of writing on this blog every day for a year is going very well.  This post, in particular, will be posting day number 260.  This is a case of if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

I need to set a time stamp on the Hiking Pictured Rocks.  I am thinking perhaps in the next three years. So it would be by March 2022.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

This goal of crossing something off my bucket list is coming along it won’t take long so another one that will happen this year.  It’s just a matter of time and I still have nine months.

I am thinking I can place my trip to Europe to retrace my ancestor’s steps under Fidelity with this goal and give them both the same time frame which would be by March 2029.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I need to make my writing time as regular as my blogging so I might just add it to right after my blogging time or maybe something like learning Latin in between as a break.  I need to move my writing from Weekly to daily. regardless of whether it is my non-fiction book or my novel.  I need to take my daily discipline of writing on this blog to writing in general.  If writing is going to be my second career, I need to make it a daily thing.

Latin is a bucket list goal with a year time limit, but I am thinking learning a language for the first time might take two years to be proficient. I struggle with this because learning a current spoken language would be more beneficial from a career standpoint but the bucket list is not about career.  It is about what I enjoy and want to do, so Latin it is.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Goals are about loving life. Enjoying it when you can.  So most of my goals here reflect that and I like all of them I just need to find better ways of achieving them.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

No changes here are proposed.  It is the one constant in my life right now.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The 30th Anniversary That Almost Wasn’t” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Right now as I write this post it is June 9th, 2019.  I am sitting in my hotel room at 3 am and my wife is sleeping nearby. My wife is still with me and that is the greatest cause for me to be happy at this point. Tomorrow this post will drop and it will be our 30th anniversary.  Three decades together is a pretty impressive milestone these days and I suppose that should be the topic of my thoughts but rather it is the fact that this is the anniversary that almost wasn’t.

On our 29th anniversary, my wife and I were separated.  At the time I was sick of our marriage and the cold deadness of it. I didn’t hate my wife, I just didn’t want to be married to her anymore.  My love for her had completely dried up.  The results of keeping a lot of thought to myself and her own admitted lack of respect for me. That leads to a dead marriage where you live together and can even have sex, but the relationship sucks overall. I mark this date because I waited until the 11th to file for divorce.

At the time I was in love with someone else. Some people don’t want to think it was genuine but the truth that needs to be faced is at least on my side. This dead marriage I was in had left me vulnerable and open to anyone who showed me some sort of concern or respect and Miss Salty stepped in.  Fast forward a couple months and that relationship was over and I was hurt very badly.  I contacted my wife after a couple weeks of being miserable.

Oddly enough she didn’t react like I think most women would have, she listened.  Over the next week, a lot happened but the short story was we reconciled and I canceled the divorce.  It was only three days from our hearing. On that day, we weren’t in court and instead were in a hotel room much like now spending that day naked in each other’s arms instead.

For her, she never stopped loving me.  She just had to realize that love isn’t enough to keep things going in a marriage and now I see a lot of changes in how she treats me because of it.  It wasn’t the best way to learn this but she has done very well in a lot of respects. If she had approached it differently we would not be here.

For me, my love is much different toward her.  I suppose it is reflected in my Foundational Virtues and so my love for her is not the old one – that dried up.  It is new, based on a new understanding of what I value most.

This week’s journal posts, in general, will be a consideration of my virtues in my life regarding my marriage.  If you want to know why my love for my wife is new and different and learn something from it, then keep reading.  Not just today, but Woden’s Day and Frigg and Freya’s Day too.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Part of honor is showing respect toward the honorable in your life when they demonstrate it. My wife is a very noble person in that respect.  Despite all the hurt she looked past it and was open to hearing my side of why I wanted out.  She didn’t react in anger toward me although I am sure she felt it. She gets my respect a lot more in this new love of mine because, in some aspects of character, she exceeds me by quite a bit.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

It took a lot of courage for us to both face reconciliation.  But to bravely hope the best was her doing.  In that respect, she had far more courage than I did.  I wanted to walk and start over with someone else. It has been a lot of work and challenges for us.  For her it is bravely facing the fact her husband is a different man in many respects. She is facing this very well.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

It takes both sides to admit the truth that it is both their fault. Just yesterday, we had this conversation about a friend of ours and how when he had done much the same as I did, how no one was concerned about he felt. I can echo that feeling during my own struggles.  If you are going to reconcile, the fact that the opposite number might have had an affair needs to be addressed for sure and there is no excuse for it, but there are reasons a person turns to someone else besides their spouse that relates to the relationship and why it fell apart.  my wife faced the truth of this and if she hadn’t this would be a non-existent anniversary.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I guess Love is central but my definition of love is far different than my days a Christian –  It is deeper and more realistic.  Romance is fine but it comes and goes. Love that has some strength to it requires Honor, Courage and Truth.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

No morning routine these next couple days.  Other than to wake up next to my wife and do some serious naked cuddling and making love.  This part of my life’s journey is one I want to enjoy.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Basic Pagan Principles – Everything is Sacred” – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Rune” – SKALD (lyric video)

English Translation: https://lyricstranslate.com/en/r%C3%BAn-rune.html

A little long about the Runes.

Meditation:

Image may contain: text, outdoor and nature

Just a little reminder of last weeks lesson before we hit this one.

Text:

Most pagan religions believe that everything in the universe is sacred, but the definition and level of sacredness applied to an object will generally vary from one pagan to another. For some pagans, all parts of our universe are considered divine and as such, sacred and worthy of our deepest respect.

Source: http://exotic-pets.yoexpert.com/exotic-pets-general/what-are-some-of-the-basic-principles-of-paganism-2192.html

Sermon:

Everything is sacred in paganism.  This means there is no distinction of things as evil or good which is the first significant implication of this principle.  No object or thing is better than another.  Objects and places are all sacred. So they cannot be evil or good. Moral ‘evil’ or ‘good’ is found in our actions, results, and intents, not things. Yet all things have a spiritual quality to them.  This is mostly to remind us that we are connected in some way to everyone and everything around us.

Like all things pagan, this principle is individually applied and its application is as individual as the pagans themselves. We each see some things as more sacred than others. That’s why in some forms of paganism there are still religious aspects with sacred places, practices, and rituals.  Some consider the universe itself as divine while others see it more as spiritual but not necessarily divine.  Like I said at this point there is a lot of variances but in the end, there is nothing wrong with any of these views. Paganism is very genuinely tolerant, so to each their own.

For me, the religious aspects of paganism are not my thing. I live with a more deistic mindset on those things, although I understand the benefits of community and honoring things that are virtuous and respecting the past, present, and future actions of my fellow human beings.  I suppose I consider human beings and their liberty as the most sacred thing as a humanist, so it is reflected in my paganism. For me, my paganism is ultimately found in Asatru and following the Nine Noble Virtues.

As far as the rest of creation as being sacred that includes the things that man creates. not just the natural world.  Human beings and what they do are also natural and I feel the whole natural/ artificial thing is a bunch of noise.  Where did the so-called ‘artificial’ come from if not nature?  A computer is just as sacred to me as a tree.  Beavers create dams, bees make hives, humans create computers.  The difference is only in the mind of people who want to use this distinction to control others. I am far more a conservationist than an environmentalist.

The beauty here though is once again freedom of choice about it.  It is simply a principle that flows out of the previous principles that your beliefs are your own and you alone are responsible for them.  This includes how you look at the world around you.

Parting Thought:

 

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Tolerance (the real stuff), admiration, compassion, kindness – these are real love and they don’t involve – obedience, conformity, fear or submission.  Those are not aspects of love – rather they are aspects of slavery.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Sappy Love Songs” – The Skald’s Lyre

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Musical Journal:

Let’s See Head Banger, Hard Rocker, Alternative Hard Rocker.  I suppose you would see a trend in what I like if you were to look at what I listen to most of the time.  But then you would see a few songs and have that ‘one of these things is not like the other” moment.  It would probably be that odd sappy love song.  Yep, despite my hard edge with most of my musical choices, I am a sucker for a good love song.

Probably the reason for this is that being an empath I can feel that shit.  Love is a strong emotion and in music, I have this ability to feel not only the message of the song but the emotions of the performer.  I mean I feel that shit in my soul.  I can feel the emotions of the singers in particular but musicians can definitely push it too. It is this connection of strong feeling particularly love that can melt me on some of these.

Mostly though these songs remind me of events involving my life regarding love.  There has been more than one woman I have loved over the years and some of these songs take me back to them.  There are also recent events where I have in many ways fallen in love with my wife anew.   So here is a list of some of my favorites and a few with significance.

Personal Significance:

Silly Love Songs: Love this song mostly because if you listen to it is very multilayered the music is high end from a talent perspective. The bass player in this one is off the chart.  It makes the song. The simple lyrics and melody are classic. For me, it is a simple reminder that no matter how much love hurts or can cause us trouble we never get tired of it and the song that sing about it.

I Will Always Love You: I have felt this way now a couple times with the women I have loved and lost now.  I guess Ms. Houston sings for all of us that have been there  The lyrics and her voice are what kills this one. She is one of those legendary voices that never gets old. Now mostly it is how I feel like I am singing this to two women in particular where I understand if I stayed in their life, I would have only gotten in the way, but because of my personality type and who I am the message is true. I never completely stop loving a woman I have fallen in love with, that is just who I am.  I adapt to them being gone but I never stop.

Honestly: This is the song that reminds me of my first love.  It reminds me of how I felt back then with her.  Now when I hear it, I get taken back to then.  It is still hard to listen to at times.  You know.  The ‘what if’, it gets you.

All of Me:  Another song that calls back an old flame.  I still can’t listen to this one all the way through. At least not yet.  Events are too recent I guess. John’s voice is iconic and the lyrics absolutely perfect. I have those feelings of loss every time so I stay away from it. Maybe someday it will be different.

Happy to Be Stuck with You: My wife and I never had “our song”.  Until now.  I guess it fits our relationship – love, stuck with each other but loving it and it is a little fun as we are better friends than we have been in a long time.  Huey and the News brought back the kind fo doo whop sound with modern 80s pop together in an interesting way.  They definitely had a lot of songs like this.  This one is ours – my wife and I  – stuck with each other and loving every minute of it.  Fun and love are both expressed.  Nothing like laughing and loving at the same time.  The video is kind of like that too.

Play List:

Silly Love Songs – Paul McCartney & The Wings: 

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston: 

Honestly – Stryper:

All of Me – John Legend:

Happy to Be Stuck with You – Huey Lewis and the News:

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Prepared” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In my mind, one should always be prepared for a fight, but at the same time, hope one does not actually have to fight.  It is this be prepared for war, but enjoy the peace attitude that resonates in my soul when I see the sayings of warriors.  It is about being in a position of strength or power over the situation so you can steer it toward a peaceful end.  No matter what chaos may be around you; you are calm and prepared for the fight, but also work so that a fight never comes.

For me, this preparation starts with mindset. It here that all the virtues shine pretty brightly, but none brighter than Honor, Courage and Truth.  Honor, because without self-worth and a sense of inner value one does not have the basic foundation from which to fight.  Courage is the will to fight.  Truth is the reason to fight. The three of them represent my axe, my sword, and my spear.

This week I will be using my journal posts to check in on goals and my bucket list.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

When this post drops today, it will be day number 246 for The Grey Wayfarer. There are 119 left for the year cycle to be complete.  Next week I am going on a mini vacation with the wife for our anniversary so I need to use this week to write ahead a little bit so I don’t have to do very much writing on my vacation.

My hike remains a goal.  If I end up moving to another state, I will still have the goal of returning to the Upper Peninsula and doing the hike.  I really haven’t set a deadline on this and probably won’t until I have a better job from a financial point of view so I have some additional income to set aside for the hiking equipment I need.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

I have a few bucket list items in sight and so one should meet this requirement goal requirement very soon. Budapest still remains as a bucket list item.  One of those long term things that I know will probably mark a different point in my life.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I started my non-fiction book but the basic way I write is that I focus on what I feel the inspiration to write on at the time.  So my novel has been getting the majority of the time but I do poke at this book a little. I need to probably put a little more effort into it.  Probably the best way to approach the non-fiction book and the novel is to make sure of the three days a week dedicated to writing at least one day gets dedicated to each and then have one flex day to work on what I feel inspired to work on.

Latin has been on the table a bit lately. I am trying to finish some other work first.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love is at times far to complicated a virtue for me and other times it is clear and simple.  I simply don’t want to be without it in my life.  I draw a lot of strength from it and motivation.  I just wish it didn’t make you so vulnerable and thus hurt so much when it is cut off from you.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

This week is all about the Routine. The morning routine is pretty solid but I want it all seven days complete this week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Moving from Religious Slavery to Rational Freedom” – Odin’s Eye – Deism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

I remember as a pastor helping people through so-called tests of faith.  Now as a more deistic person in search of a rational divinity, I would say that it wasn’t so much a test of faith, but a person running into legitimate problems with their religion and their rational mind trying to get them to see that.  A lot of the times this doubt of ones religion is interpreted as doubt in one’s faith and that is only partially correct.  Regardless it is not a bad thing, but rather our own mind trying to help us see that we have bought into a pack of lies.

Religion doesn’t seem to have very many positive purposes.  It is used to control and manipulates through fear or by creating imaginary concepts that are passed off as read to change people’s thinking and thus their behavior. Occasionally a religion might talk about virtue or character that human beings should have or exercise and in that regard religion might do something positive.

For myself, this transition into being a deistic humanist with pagan tendencies is about firstly a search to see if a rational god can be found.  Secondly, I am trying to throw off the trappings of religion to embrace a more spiritual and practical philosophy of living my life. I work to be spiritually attuned to the world around me but rationally grounded.  Mostly though I seek to be free of religion’s negative effects and thus freer.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I have faith that there is something beyond ourselves.  We talk of romantic love for another person but there is no rational reason to believe it is anything more than hormones being exchanged.  Yet, there we are talking and very much believing we fall in love, that making love is more than just hedonistic pleasure for the purpose of procreation, etc. Concepts such as beauty and friendship fall into this category as well, there is more to human senses that the five senses and more to determine what is true and real other than the rational mind. I have faith that this is so still.

Religion:

I avoid religion as much as possible. I find people who are religious to be inherently self-righteous as much of religion centers on “we have found the truth about the divine”.  It is this belief that leads people to think they have arrived in some place that is superior to others whether they openly say so or not. They find themselves looking at others either as poor wretches who still need to find ‘the truth’ or ‘sinner in the hands of an angry god’.  There are inherent condescension and hubris to any religious belief.

Theology:

My theology as a deist pretty much does not have a divine entity or entities that intervene in human affairs. I won’t say that I don’t believe miracles are possible as even Einstien conceded in his probability based universe, all things are possible no matter how unlikely.  I have just seen too much as a Pentecostal believer to believe miracles are as common as they say.  I have seen a tremendous amount of con artist fraud and sleight of hand magician’s tricks to buy that it happens. I don’t fall into the deist problem of believing in the larger miracle of creation and not believing smaller things called miracles can’t happen, but I also have found that most miracles have a rational explanation and usually it is some form of deception followed by a large amount of confirmation bias.

Spirituality:

I would consider myself no longer religious but spiritual.  My rational mind is part of that spiritually.  I just think there is more to mankind that a computer lodged in the head of a biochemical body. If there is any spiritual practice that has changed for me is I don’t spend a lot of time praying, if at all.  I realized that people when they get a result they wanted often cite that as proof prayer works.  I challenge such people to rationally do an experiment for a bit.  Keep a record of everything you pray about and be absolutely honest about how all of the things on that list are ‘answered’ I know when I did this about 20% of the things I was praying for came about.  80% either didn’t happen at all or things went a completely different way from how I was praying.

No, I spend more time thinking and meditating on things to understand them these days rather than praying.  I find it leads to far more freedom of thought and a better way to navigate through life’s challenges.

Conclusion:

I became a diest because of ignorance.  I think the human race simply does not know enough to dismiss the possibility of the divine. What I also am fairly sure of is that most religions are irrational and are basically attempts to either fool people or control their thoughts and behaviors using appeal to divine authority to do so.  I search for a rational divine, not one which is defined by others through religion.  It has been a very liberating choice.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thoughts on Memorial Day” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Today isn’t about veterans or those currently serving in the armed forces. Those have their own days. Memorial Day is about the dead who died fighting.  It is a time to honor those who are fallen in battle that didn’t come home. There are far too many of these graves that reflect this.

As a libertarian, I would honor such men and women by understanding the best way to honor them is not create more of them.  That there is a time where swords can be put away for good.  Mostly I look at each war that has people who died in it and see that my country sent men and women to die for some busybody and meddling cause.  I can count on one hand the wars the United States was involved with that were actually about my liberty and freedom. The Revolutionary War (perhaps), The War of 1812, WW1 (Maybe) and WW2.  The rest of it seems we had some ulterior motive other than freedom and liberty and even in the wars mentioned above, there were some opportunist policies that were implemented that in the end were about advancing power over others.

I probably honor the fallen more than other political ideologies, because if someone doesn’t come home from a war, I feel the government is to be held accountable for the reasons for that war. Warriors who die in battle should know their cause was right.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Honor is something to die for. Having value in yourself is something that all the fallen should know at that moment of death.   That what they were fighting for game them value as a person.  Otherwise, they died for nothing.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Warriors are in a sense always courageous.  But what puts the icing on the cake of courage for the fallen is that their cause was right.  That they were acting in courage for the right thing at the right time.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Truth is unfortunately in the case of war only found out after the fact. It is also often in the case of war proven that the cause fought for was less than honorable. Lies about the cause being fought for are what dishonor the fallen the most.  They need to be brought to the light because the truth is important and then the next time the war drum sounds, it will remind us to look to see that the cause is just and right and honorable.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In the end, though the warrior that fell for the cause of loving those he left behind saves all honor, demonstrates courage and fights for something true.  That a greater love no one has than the one who lays down his life for that which he loves. For this possibility and reality, we honor all regardless of the cause they fought for.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

June is coming and I have made a commitment to live through that month in a disciplined manner, I am going to need it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Warrior’s Foundation” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Identity is one of the most important things that a person can understand particularly when it regards themselves. How one views one’s own identity has a great bearing on the decisions they make and the level of success they attain. I have spent a great deal of time these last few months meditating on the subject of my own identity.

In the end, three words keep rising to the top: Warrior, Wayfarer, and Wolf.

Today I want to look at the Warrior.  To me, this is foundational to my identity as far as what is a core identity.  I know there is little cause for a man to be an actual warrior these days.  Very few have the true necessity of fighting in a real battle. But the battle of life still requires in my identity a warrior’s philosophy. “Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.”  A warrior’s foundation allows one to face all things in life with honor, courage, and truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Part of this core is and perhaps the central part of the core is Honor. To be noble of being and to recognize it in others. To be positive about my future.  This week marks a year since things regarding the honor of my past identity came unraveled. My life as a pastor ( my central identity at the time) came to an end just a year ago, and a change from pastor to the warrior as a foundational identity started.  It has been a rocky road to get here, but I am feeling like something is about to happen here that will be a larger leap into a more honorable me. Part of this is to surround myself with honorable people, who are my core friends.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

It is not always easy to do what is right.  As I look back at last year at this time because I was a pastor only in name and not in full truth; it was difficult to show courage. These days I face mistakes much better and own up to them when they happen.  The change is simply a matter of understanding my identity of being a warrior that takes responsibility for his actions. Courage is central to that.  To act with courage at the right time has become a core principle.  At the same time, it also takes courage to confront when people are not taking their responsibility and that has its risks but that is a far better course than to sit back and let them continue to avoid their responsibility.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

The warrior faces the truth.  Lies do not become true men of action.  I know one man who was a friend of mine who is now an enemy. I would say this is his greatest failing.  He is a good combatant, but he surrounds himself with lies. He is a false front of bravery, but he never seems to have the courage to face the truth. He only bolsters his own previously held opinions, no matter what the cost might be to what is true. I seek to never be like that.  One needs humility to know, understand and apply the truth. If you can’t face a simple truth that it is not possible to be right all the time, the truth will not be your core.

Higher Virtue: Love:

What does a warrior love? It is a modified version of the question: which path is the most loving? If the path is honorable, requires courage and embraces the truth, it is the one the warrior would walk.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

I decided to make daily stretching a part of this routine again.  I am noticing that without this I have a lot more problems with stiffness and joint soreness. It also is a good continuation of the calm meditative state I am going for in the morning.

I want this next week to be a test of all the disciplines from today to next Sun’s Day. Let’s see if we can have a full and complete week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Morning Meditation” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Trying to get back to peace is not always easy.  I have found that morning meditation is a good way to start. Reviewing everything that is important to me and then meditating on it keeps those days in perspective.  The perspective of the Big Picture.  The perspective of being at peace with myself as the central thing to my being.

It is the start of the Morning Routine when I do it properly that set my day off on a more positive course.  Focusing on one virtue and meditating on it for five minutes doesn’t seem like a great activity, but it is.  It makes me remember what is important.

The specifics of the day come into focus revolving around that virtue as well as its connections to the other virtues. It becomes a time of peace and that is the right path to start on for the day. I can’t recommend the practice enough.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I need to start walking this week on my days off.  With no need to spend time doing homework for school there is even less excuse for this.  This is also about meditation not just getting healthy and ready for that hike. The blog streak is at 225 days in a row with this post.  That leaves 140 days to go.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Yep, I think the tattoo will be first.  I am saving money for it every paycheck.  People might wonder what is taking so long, but I plan I finding the best and paying them for it.  If I am going to put something permanent on my skin – the standards are very high. Every day’s progress is a day closer to Budapest.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

With my study and homework time freed up, writing and learning Latin can take its place quite easily. I just need to focus on those things right now that school is done for a while.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In morning meditation I find that I am learning the love of self more and more.  I am very loyal to that which I love so learning to love myself is a part of learning to show myself some fidelity. the one thing I am looking forward to this summer, now that school is over is to spend some time working on myself in a lot of areas.  Studying the things I want to study, reading the things I want to read and writing the things I want to write. Forging myself with a little self-love as the fire should do wonders for me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I really need to be a little more tight on this.  It is important to set the day right and start it right. This Routine definitely does that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!