Month: October 2019

“Pack Mentality” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 16

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

Rogue Wizard’s Journal – September 10th, 2019

Well, it’s been a helluva three days.  Time to write a report of sorts so I can collect my thoughts about it all.

Amber got better and after a day, she had no symptoms of lycanthropy at all.  Apparently, our ‘sexual healing’ sessions have worked and I have transferred my antibodies to her.  Not that we have stopped the sessions.  What is it about sex that we human beings find so addicting given its two potential consequences are so long term.  Of course, now that this Trois love triangle is complete, it actually has had a few Trois sessions of lovemaking.  I don’t know about this sometimes, but we all seem happy about it and Amber is back up being who she was before.

This whole thing has made me realize that the cure for lycanthropy is right in the whole sexual magic thing.  In mage circles, it could literally spread by sexual activity.  I doubt however it would happen because it is outside the box thinking and The council has never been good at that but also it involves a much more open definition of relationships that are emotional and loving. It would require a lot of polyamory and even jumps across those boundaries of sexual mores.

The other issue is where the werewolf came from and we didn’t have to look very far for that one. Lunette shrunk down and put on her leaf clothes and took her tiny dagger and using her illusion magic, did a scout run. For my part, while she was away I set up my wards both on the cabin and sauna bathhouse as well as the path between the two. Anything gets too close and not only would it go off like an alarm in my head but some of my wards turned the crosser into fireballs if they were magical in nature.

This has been good because it has set all of our minds at ease about being surprised again.  So the sauna bath, skinny dipping has resumed.  The sauna bath is now getting used for more than bathing activity now but still we get clean in the end and cooled off in the lake before coming back to the cabin.

We are still all on edge a little.  The werewolf has done one thing for sure and that is it makes us a little more aware of what is going on around us.  Today though Lunette returned from her scouting run, and after taking off her leaves, grows back to normal size.  She was back a little early and that’s when she reported that she found the lair of the werewolves.  A little cabin of their own about five miles away.  She figured there were still five of them.  Most of them were sleeping when she had been there, but there had been one on guard duty and being a werewolf was quite alert.

We now know where they are, and our own little pack is ready for some wolf hunting. I like wolves normally and werewolves, when they are first werewolves, are still pretty much themselves. It the slow rot of the human side of them that makes them dangerous. Some can hold this off for decades but it is inevitable in the end that they become feral.

Our plan is to attack them tomorrow during the day.  This doesn’t necessarily make them weaker just werewolves are usually up all night because they are the moon’s children.  They stay up in the early and later parts of the day much like most people do with the night.  If we hit them in the middle of the day, the element of surprise might help us even the odds at first.  We are all in agreement about what needs to be done which is eliminate them.  We have our own pack mentality.

I have my concerns though.  This is going to draw attention. Attention that we don’t need.  However, if they discover where we are and that we killed one of their own, they will be out for blood.  Their pack mentality demands vendetta and revenge.  Better to attack them first than wait for them to attack us.

Hopefully, there will be another journal entry tomorrow.

Writer’s Notes: 

While I haven’t written on this, people might be asking me a personal question right about now.  Would you actually ever be a part of a polyamorous relationship?  The answer is ‘yes’. But not presently.  My wife and I are under vows which involve exclusivity which I honor because of my belief in Fidelity and Honor so I keep my vows based on this. Now understand as an atheist/agnostic type, the fact those vows were made before ‘God’ does not matter anymore to me,  What matters is my own word and keeping it as much as possible regardless when that word was given.  

See the source image

That said, as a libertarian and now free thinker, I think marriage and the whole licensing and vows things is both unnecessary and a con job.  It is mostly done for religious control reasons, legal reasons (which could be handled by a lawyer and a contract instead) and the states attempt to take rights from you and then make money licensing them back to you. That’s right folks, there is nothing that says I love and trust you like getting the state and religion to give their nod that it is Ok for you to be in a relationship with each other (sarcasm flag). Sorry, you can live with each other, have sex and have children and none of that requires a license or shouldn’t.  The commitment to each other thing is going to be what it is regardless of license, vows or rings.  

But getting back to the personal question, I think it is good for a person to get rid of things like jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to another person. It seems to me that you are getting closer to unconditional love when you do that.  If such love is even possible. So yes I would, but right now I am under my own virtues of honor and fidelity to love only one woman – my wife.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Evolving Spirituality” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

I have found a great deal of fascination in defining spirituality in terms of evolutionary development.  I feel that religion is in many ways a codified attempt to explain where people were at certain times in their understanding of spiritual evolution.  The problem is that religion has a tendency to anchor us to that moment.  We don’t move on from there once someone says: “This is spiritual Truth” with a capital T.

We should recognize that these moments of spiritual understanding are not capitalized but are a moment of truth at is both evolving and fleeting because there is other truth with a small t to discover and the truth we are at that moment is just the next part fo the path that leads to other truth.

Spiritual evolution demands that we explore the truth and keep moving from one part of it to the next. This is something that I am learning right now and I am hoping my time stagnated in Christianity hasn’t robbed me of my chance to be a better person. Is the next step for human evolution to take our growing and developing consciousness to the next level?

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I am effectively an agnostic/atheist that explores spirituality because I think that inside spirituality, and to a lesser extent religion, is that spark of genius that given enough time might lead to human beings evolving to another level of consciousness.  My start in this began with Asatru but much of what I do in meditation is straight-up psychology and neurologically proven stuff.   Religion and spirituality do tap into something that neurologically works and I have assurance, not faith, that this is true. Much of what we know scientifically now is someone looking at what humans spiritually thought once upon a time and then science going and investigating if it was true. In this, they discovered some faith was bogus and other faith had the spark of truth that led to a greater understanding.

Meditation:

My meditation times have been taken up mostly with virtue and thinking on this concept of my own personal spiritual evolution. I feel very free of shackles right now when it comes to spiritual things.  myu definition of spirituality is more about human consciousness and the idea right now is to explore my own consciousness with restrictions.  I guess that is why I view my exploration of paganism as part of that because paganism acknowledges that each person is unique in their spiritual capacity and understanding of the world around them and they are not trying to proselytize anyone.

Theology:

Right now, theology is not something I can use that much as someone who has no effective belief in god. From an evolving consciousness point of view, I also am not looking to an imaginary friend to help me, but rather if there is any ‘god’; to be found it is this thing inside my head that makes decisions, engages the world around me and stretches out in relationships to others.

Spirituality:

My spirituality as defined as an exploration of my own consciousness and in bringing to myself a new understanding of who I am and that part of me that I still am learning about.  I want to stay truly with understanding myself and why I do what I do.

Conclusion:

I don’t know what truths I will discover but this journey as The Grey Wayfarer has its bright moments.  Those moments are usually spiritual in the sense of understanding human consciousness spiritual.  There is a lot more road ahead of me to walk yet, and this is what makes me get up every single day.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Six Remaining Goals” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

I thought it might be helpful to separate out my remaining six goals for some analysis. Mostly to try to put them in some priority order. This is what is left:

  1. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.
  2. Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.
  3. To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
  4. To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
  5. To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.
  6. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

As  I look at these I now can understand that half of them cannot be fulfilled until March 31st, 2020 itself. The same three simply involve consistency and change until fulfilled.  I just have to keep at it until March 31st, 2020:

  1. To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
  2. To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
  3. To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

The other three are more situational and start with the getting of a new and better paying job.  After that, I get the tattoo (bucket list item) and find myself a group to be part of and all six can be very realistically finished by March 31st.

This is very encouraging to me as now I know I can reach these goals with hard work and a little luck.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

All the above said, this is an important goal and the sooner it is crossed off the better. There is a lot of issues that need to be addressed with money and this solves those problems in a solid self-reliant way.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

Goal Achieved

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

This is obviously last on my list as far as a goal.  I need to know where I am going to be long term to know what kind fo group to search for.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Justice as a virtue is not about providing or striving for justice in society.  I have no real control over that so I discarded that a long time ago. It is more about me acting justly with others.  Giving back what I give and not doing to someone what I wouldn’t want to be done to me.  it is about treating my fellow humans as they deserve.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Reading – 1 chapter min.
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

Nothing wrong with this. Just need to do it more consistently

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Zero-G” – Space Tramp – Chapter 8 (MegaTraveller Fan Fiction)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Story:

As Jeremiah sat down in the barstool of The Naked Gypsy, he remarked how lucky he was to even be there. This past year had brought him closer to death than any other and he was sure if it hadn’t been for some legal wrangling and calling in a favor from Captain Junos he would probably be in prison right now.

That’s what happens he was thinking when you sign aboard a ship simply to get off-world when nothing else is available.  Looking back at t though things seemed legit when he met Captain Cyril Jackson.  He had his crew filled out as far as officers but he needed a second engineer.  The Engineer officer was 1st Officer that specialized in Engineering and so Jeremiah filled the role of Engineer crewman.  The Regina Blue Mule III, a subsidized merchant class vessel, needed two engineers to monitor and maintain its power plant, jump drive and maneuver drives.

As it turned out, The Mule was a bit of a  maintenance problem. Jeremiah actually spent most of the time monitoring the drives and power plant while the chief engineer ran around fixing other systems.  The one thing that kept crashing was the artificial gravity plates which needed an overhaul. it made life interesting as sometimes for hours on end everyone was floating. Jeremiah took it as an opportunity to work on his Zero-G maneuvers and got quite good at moving about without gravity.

The route was speculative to be sure and The Mule could carry a lot of cargo and as it turned out it was cargo that Captain Jackson wanted to move a lot of.  But he also was a smuggler. Something Jeremiah wouldn’t figure out until the third port of call.  He was however under contract, so he shut his mouth and worked his job.  The trouble with this trip really hit a climax on the return leg to Regina when they actually jumped into the Regina system for the final stop. Jeremiah was eager to put this contract behind him, but one major adventure awaited.

One of the system defense ships hailed them and asked them to power down and prepare to be boarded.  Captain Jackson panicked and ordered them to run for it. Jeremiah quickly surmised that there must be something aboard that was contraband.  Not wanting to be implicated he decided to disable the ship in some way.  He wasn’t sure who was with him on this mutiny, but he for one was not going to be on the run from the Imperium.

The Imperium as a general rule does not give two shits about what each system does to govern itself. The Imperium rules the space between the stars and this was definitely something that the local Imperial authorities would take interest in.  Especially since they were carrying passengers both in staterooms and cold sleep. Captain Jackson’s actions were endangering a lot of lives.  Jeremiah decided to act.  He went over to the console that was governing the artificial gravity and basically disabled it.  The Chief Engineer caught on and tried to stop him but Jeremiah had learned how to maneuver in zero-G, so he went behind him and knocked him out with the butt of his blade.

After that, the lack of gravity played to Jeremiah’s advantage.  The medic and steward were too busy dealing with passengers so he got past them and found his way to the bridge. Captain Jackson was arguing with his bridge officer when he broke in and with a single swipe of his blade floating between them he killed the captain by slicing his neck.  Blood hung weightless in the air as Captian Jackson died.  The bridge officer surrendered,  powered down the rest of the ship, and announced to the Regina system ship their surrender.

This last week had been one fo being arrested by the system authorities and sitting in a cell waiting for processing.  There was some talk of stripping them all of their Free Trader credentials, so Jeremiah placed a call to Captain Juros and an hour later he was released and told nothing would be done to him.  He then started to shake, as it had been the first time he had killed anyone.  He was hoping Jackson’s family wouldn’t be after him until he learned that he had no family left alive.  The Mule would be towed back to port and put up for auction by the bank that supported the loan.

He arrived at The Naked Gypsy and had the first of many drinks. He realized how lucky he was as he could have been killed a couple of times. One more year and this second term would be over. He made a mental note to do more research on any captain before signing on with them. The image of his blade going across Jackson’s neck was still with him, but he slowly realized it was the only way.  Jackson had been armed with a gun and he had to take him down and he used his new skill in Zero-G to do so.

He pulled up the menu for the brothel upstairs. He found a girl he wanted but she had appointments for the next hour.  He paid upfront and reserved her for after that.  Right now, he would be content to nurse a couple more drinks. Hopefully, this next year would be a little more peaceful.

Megatraveler Notes:

Start:

Free Trader 2rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O3 – 2nd Officer   Terms Served: 1

UPP: A67A74   Age: 24  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 4, Bonus Money: 25000 Cr.

Year Seven:

Roll for position availability: 4 + 1 for Intelligence = 5  – position not available, serves as enlisted

Roll for assignment: 8 + 1 for Social 5- = 9  – Speculative Trade Route

Survival Roll: 4 + 1 Brownie point spent – 5 – Survives barely.

Skill Roll: 8 – Skill acquired.

Bonus: 5 – No Bonus

Roll for Skills: ( 1 for skill roll): Rolls Shipboard Life: 4 – Zero-G Combat – 1

MegaTraveller Shorthand

Free Trader 2rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O3 – 2nd Officer   Terms Served: 1

UPP: A67A74   Age: 25  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 3, Bonus Money: 25000 Cr.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Anarchism: Moral but Naively Idealistic” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Political Science

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

I want to go on record a saying the philosop[hy behind anarchism is morally pure because it is the only philosophy of government that gets rid of the two things that make government suck the most – control mechanisms and the removal of individual rights. Without a doubt, I do not argue with anarchists that their philosophy is good, just and perfectly thought out.  It is political idealism as its finest.

That said it is so idealistic that it will never happen.  Much life socialism has an idealistic view of economics but fails to account for the economic realities of the law of scarcity and that human beings are motivated by self-interest so taking that way you get a system that limits human achievement, option, and freedom. You basically also will find yourself taking rights from people, not granting them under a socialist system.

Anarchism does something similar – it doesn’t take into account another part of human nature that has evolved in us.  We are inherently tribal.  Tribalism has allowed human beings to band together against common problems or foes as long as the human race has been around.  it is part of our psychological makeup and it is why everyone will never accept anarchy as a form of government. There will always be the state no matter how it is set up.  As soon as people organize and set up a system of dealing with problems or issues, what they set up is ‘government’.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

That said, I think the anarchists should keep advocating anarchy for one simple reason – it keeps us with the realization that the government doesn’t have to be involved in everything.  There is no need for the government but if we are going to have it it should do something we can all mostly agree it should do.  We need if anything, when the government is inevitably set up it, should be constructed in such a way it serves humanity, not the other way around. This is why most governments fail because they make slaves out of the populations under them and the tension for freedom is created that leads to their eventual downfall.

Wants (Freki):

So what we want is a government that serves us by: 1) recognizing that the citizens are the boss, government is the servant, not the master, 2) Having a great concern to defend the rights of individuals, in fact, it should be made as one of the central duties of government, and 3) the citizens should have the means to overthrow said government if it attempts to violate the two above.

Reason (Huginn):

While I can marvel at the ethical purity of anarchism given the above needs and wants, I have become practically a classical liberal libertarian. Not because I think having government isn’t immoral like the anarchist, but because I think it is inevitable that government will exist because of tribalism.  So if the government is rationally inevitable, it stands to reason that we keep it as small as people will allow and with the least amount of power necessary.  So far as I know the level of government of classical liberalism is the smallest that has been in history accepted by people. So it is practically viable and yet also respects individual rights and if done properly protects rights.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom finds itself in upholding the moral goodness of a particular philosophy but realizing the practical realities of experience and what human beings will actually do or accept. For me, classical liberal philosophy is the best compromise between the.purity of anarchism and the reality of human tribalism.  Anarchism, however, does bring to the wisdom table the constant reminder of trying to find a way to let people live in freedom and without coercion,  Well, at least as much as human tribalism will allow.

Conclusion:

I like anarchists, even when they argue with me about this, but I have also frustrated them by saying I agree that they are morally the purest philosophy I have found in studying political science.  Then the discussion turns practical and they have to concede another point – when have human beings accepted anarchism as anything other than a short transitional time between governments?  They never have.

Next week I hit libertarianism and I will be dealing with classical liberalism or more appropriately why I am one.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Goals and Routine” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

My meditations have been on my routines but I have to go back to my goals and look at the ones I have achieved and asked what part of my routines helped me achieve them.  This really involves a lot of thought about Routines in the sense that they not only have to line up with goals they also have to practically work.  If I don’t do them and they don’t actually help me achieve my goals then they need change.

This last goal that was achieved reminds me of the fact that feelings cannot be a measure of whether you decide to work on your goals.  If I relied on feelings to achieve blogging every day I would have never made it.  Any writer will tell you that you have to sit down and write regardless of feelings. Writer’s block to me is just another mythological excuse.  I had to sit down at my computer and write regardless of feelings and still do as the streak of daily posts continue.

I need to learn to branch this out a little more to other areas like writing my novel and a non-fiction book, and doing the other things writers do – reading.  The fact is the things I do despite feelings I am having good results in and the rest flounders because I let feelings determine if I do them or not.  That needs to change.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Goal Achieved and that is three out of nine for the year. My thoughts though are this goal is going to be regularly about getting past feelings nad getting habit in my life I need to be a successful writer.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I’m picturing in my head getting a new job, saving up some money and then getting my tattoo on my shoulder.  This would cross off two goals and a bucket list item off this list.  it is the next real major milestone in the journey and need to get there soon. The job search is also one of those things that need to get past feelings.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

In order to write my non-fiction book, writing needs to be every day.  Another place where – “I don’t feel like it’ cannot be present.

Higher Virtue: Love:

If I am going to balance out everything else with love of self, getting past my feelings is the key.  Literally. I need to start putting my feelings to love others in a proper perspective and I need to have some feelings about loving myself that are more developed.  That requires an objective look at feelings – why I have them and what they accomplish. Loving me has become I priority if I am going to move forward with my life and stop these anchors from the past from holding me back.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I am starting today looking at every line of my routines and asking questions about what I need to make them work better and more consistently.  For the Morning Routine, the thing that is missing is a meditation altar and I am going to spend some money to make one with some candles, incense and I found a valknut plaque to be a centerpiece. It’s kind of a project that hopefully will make meditation a little more formal and thus effectively done.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Tyr – One-Handed Justice” (Asatru – Part 13) – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Wolf Totem” – The Hu

I discovered this group that has more of a Mongolian feel but the song is titled ‘Wolf Totem’ which, given Tyr’s one story involves Fenrir the great Wolf, seems fitting.

Lyric Video:

Meditation:
No photo description available.

 

Text:

See the source image

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: 

The god Tyr’s name still lives on every time you say Tuesday.  It is his day and it probably speaks of this god’s importance more than any other than right up there with Odin and Thor. Tyr is much discussion of Tyr’s sphere as it would be simple to say he governs war, truth, and justice but the seems to be a mixing of the three ideas so in truth he may be more the god of trial by combat.  That truth and justice are ultimately played out in martial combat or a trial by combat is what Tyr represents and if there is a god that represents honor, it is Tyr.

Tyr’s appearance in Norse mythology is twofold.  The first is minor in the creation of beer for the gods but it is mentioned that he is the child of giants.  As a spiritual concept, I find this interesting as it seems to be saying that nature’s force has a way of bringing about justice and Tyr is simply a more civilized manifestation of that.

The second and main story that Tyr is known for is the story of Fenrir the Great Wolf.  In that story demonstrates his honor in that he refuses to remove his hand from Fenrir’s mouth and does to get Fenrir to trust the god’s final test of strength with the chain that actually binds Fenrir for Ragnarok.  But before that what strikes me as interesting is he seems to be the only god not afraid of Fenrir.  This actually speaks of the notion some warriors have of honor making one fearless.  Tyr seems to invoke that image in his story rather well.

To the followers of Asatru Tyr, of course, is remembered every Tuesday and his story is one that is repeated to demonstrate courage and honor.  Something that all Asatru followers hold highly given they are two of the Nine Noble Virtues.  I guess I find in the story of Tyr much the same along with the concept of how much are you willing to sacrifice for both victory and honor?  Tyr reminds us all that the price can be very close to home and should not be considered wasted if it leads to a good end.

Tyr is revered by those who seek justice so military and police officers who are Asatru gravitate to him as well as those who seek a balancing of the scales with Christianity.  For myself I find his story inspiring as far as honor and courage.

Hail Tyr, God of Truth, Justice, and War!  God of the Northern Star. Hail! 

Parting Thought:

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I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Scattered Grey Showers” -The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 21

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day

Of course in the middle of the triumph of achieving a goal, The Grey would have to make an appearance and the problem is it is not one single thing causing the issue but several scattered showers of shit I would rather not deal with; but there it is.  There have been all kinds of scattered Grey showers this week and I haven’t been able to control them all the time which has led to some sleepless nights and emotions that have been less than happy ones.

It actually started the day after I achieved my one-year blogging goal with the simple thought of – ‘yeah that’s great, but you still don’t have a better job yet.”  I hate moments like that because they seem to take all the joy of succeeding at something away from me in a second. I shell up and just exist. I need a new job it’s true, but blogging every single day without fail is an achievement,  I know and anyone who blogs knows it is. It’s just The Grey has a tendency to crop in after I have a high moment.

If this wasn’t enough, I am working one day and over the speakers, it becomes clear that they have at long last changed the loop of songs to something new.  Cool right?  Except that now twice a day it seems I hear the song I don’t want to hear.  “All of Me” by John Legend.  It’s not that I think it is a bad song, it’s damn skippy good.  It is also connected emotionally to Miss Salty in a very strong way and then the whole memories shit of that relationship comes up and I want to cry.  Yeah, 6’4″ 275 lbs. weightlifter crying at work.  So The Grey kicks in as a protective measure and I try to ignore the song.  But later catch me singing it and thinking about her. What the Fuck?  This is why I avoid this song in the first place, and now I can’t avoid it at times.

So, I finally get a day off and I go to bed the night before and I have a dream. Yeah, it’s about The Dirty Pig.  Nothing big or symbolic just him making fun of me and laughing. Him doing his thing of doing things for his own entertainment and throwing me under the bus to that end. I used to be able to control my dreams a little, but as I grow older that ability seems to be lost. I think I still have enough ability to keep the ‘night terrors’ I used to have a bay.  If they come back, that will not be good.

I wake up and then I had to get up for a bit.  Kind of alarmed my wife as it is unusual for me to let my insomnia get me out of bed. The whole extreme anger thing is high with him.  Hard to control.  But then there is my old friend/enemy – the Grey and I head back to bed and fall asleep.

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My personality type makes me emotionally intelligent.  Sometimes called ’empathic’ and it’s pretty high in me.  The curse is that strong emotions in others or in songs or from my past experiences get supercharged because of it.   The Grey has developed in me as a counter to that. When things get too negatively strong, it kicks in to keep me sane. Cool huh?  But the downside is I don’t give a shit about anyone else in those moments.  I have also noted that The Grey occurs more frequently when I am not taking care of myself as far as self-love.  Loving myself keeps the emotional balance better, but I have to really work at that as it is much more natural to help other people than myself.

The other defense is introversion, but that isn’t good for me either.  Part of self-love is receiving love and you can’t do that by yourself.  This what led to the problems of last year.  My wife was penciling me into her busy schedule and I wasn’t a priority.  The church was taking a lot out of me and not giving much back in terms of emotional support and school wasn’t the outlet for my attention like it had been.  Along comes Miss Salty who absolutely understood this and BAM – affair, breakup, getting fired, near divorce, life turned upside down.

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The problem is I am absolutely terrified of letting someone else in right now.  Miss Salty leaving me and The Dirty Pig betraying my trust and leading the other friends I had at the church to fire me have all given me current trust issues off the chart at times. I function all right with people, but let them into my life to love and be loved by them? – yeah, no thanks.  Got my family, a couple close friends and that is it.  My wife helps a lot, but we both have to work and she is extroverted so she has to get away from the apartment or she would go nuts.  That leaves me alone.

The other downside is I get along better with women than men.  Men are comrades in arms but it takes a self-confident guy to be a friend that I trust..  I always feel men are competing with me rather than trying to be a friend. If you are that insecure, yeah, I don’t like you; because I know you’re going to brag about shit in front of me and I don’t do that.  I don’t need to because I am pretty secure in my masculinity.  I don’t have to prove my manhood to anybody.  Only one other guy on the planet gets that right now and that is why we are best friends.  Most men can’t handle that so they shy away for me or our relationship is the joking sarcasm of guys doing the same job and dealing with the same shit.

So women are easier to get along with for me. You can imagine how this is a downside. Today in the western world, 1) showing a woman some attention, 2) understanding her emotions and 3) being self-confident in your own masculinity equals flirting. Like, it comes naturally to me and that has lead to being flirted with back in return more than once.  Pre-affair this was just fun and a way to play around that broke up the monotony of life.  Women made my life more bearable with this flirting with boundaries thing.

Post-affair?  You draw your own conclusions but I have some women now that it is purely professional much like I act with guys.  But my natural tendencies are still there and so subtle I don’t often realize I am doing it.  Getting close to another woman as a friend is just difficult and undesirable given recent events.

So, I am left with my one friend who lives far away who thankfully calls me every few days to check on me and my wife.  My wife and I get along and she now very much understands that you can’t just pencil me in to be my lover/friend.  I have to be much higher on the priority list than that because I am high maintenance when it comes to internal emotions.

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That’s the bitch about being INFJ.  Perfect personality my ass.  Yeah, from an external point of view, we function and don’t appear to need human interaction as much, we navigate emotional situations well outwardly and get along pretty much with anybody.  The price tag of those positives is high internal emotional costs. We pay every part of that cost ourselves for the benefits others enjoy.  No human is strong enough to take that all the time and so the trade-offs are: 1) We disappear for a while, 2) it gets to a point of overload, so we develop coping mechanisms (aka for me The Grey) or 3) Eventually we explode and do something tremendously stupid or risky.  It’s a ticking time bomb that needs to have minutes added to the clock by #1 and 2 or #3 is inevitable.

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On top of it all, today (October 5th, 2019) is the 25th anniversary of my father’s death. Yeah, that always is a grey shower no matter what I do.  I still miss him.

But I keep walking. Ravens on my shoulder and wolves at my feet. My coat and cloak pulled tight against the storm.  No rest for the weary or the wicked.  The showers will eventually end and I will be that much stronger for walking through them.

Still Walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Polyamory” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Orientation

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Discussion:

Polyamory is an interesting topic because it calls into question the need for societal mores in relationship to romance and sex. I have looked at the subjects of polygamy in the Bible and other related issues and came to the conclusion that from a Biblical point of view as long as everyone was in a marriage relationship and there was no homosexual activity, the Bible allowed for it. But now that I would say the Bible is out and I am looking for a more rational viewpoint of romance and relationships in sexual content.  Along these lines there are only three considerations: 1) Is is consensual, 2) have reasonable precautions been implemented, 3) Are the people involved emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle the relationship.  See the source image

Polyamory is pretty much about the consensual sex and romance with multiple partners.  Unlike many relationships that are multi individual in nature, this is out in the open and everyone agrees to it.  There is no ignorance and no one is being forced to be a part of it and no one is being placed in a position where they have to hide anything. It is really the way freedom should be in that there are no restrictions and no secrets. Polyamory passes the first test as that is the point of it – multiple consensual relationships without secrets.

The second issue is that of reasonable precautions being taken.  The two main issues are STDs and pregnancy.  In reading a majority of practitioners of polyamorous relationships the STD question is part of the reason they desire openness as far as no secrets and this means everyone gets to talk about it and when someone new is brought in they have a lot of questions and those in such relationship tend to stay in a prescribed circle because it is more than just them they are protecting.  In any case, the whole point is to establish a boundary and stay within it even though the relationship is polyamorous.  Letting someone in that boundary is a group decision and that’s a pretty effective protection against STDs.

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In the case of pregnancy what you read is pretty much either the whole group takes responsibility for the children if they happen or everyone agrees it is group decision as well to open up the possibility if one of the girls wants to get pregnant.  Until then the girl needs to be responsible for her own reproductive system and quite frankly in the modern western world, there is really no excuse for an unwanted pregnancy anymore.  There really isn’t and that means the statement “My body; my choice” comes with the counter – “Your choice, your responsibility.”  In any case, from the standpoint of polyamory, this is another group discussion.

If you are starting to get the idea that communication has to be very high in these kinds o relaitonships I would say ‘correct’.  It shows people in such relationships have to meet the final criteria of being emotionally mature enough to handle the fact that you are loved by many and love many.  Jealousy, control, and envy can’t really be present. You have to be happy when you are being loved by someone and when they love someone else. You have to love the love you receive and get and are also loving enough to let others love each other.

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More directly, you have to be Ok with the fact that the guy or gall you had sex with that night could be having sex with someone else in the relationship that morning.  While you could make love to another person that same morning. The sexual options are one of the main reasons that people get in these relationships and most of the polyamorous writers I have read don’t believe that humans are naturally monogamous.  That reality accepted they simply are being honest in the relationship they have entered.

I put this under sexual orientation for the simple reason that is it possible that some people are sexually oriented to be open lovers?  To be people who can love many people and make love to many people without being possessive or close-minded or even manipulative?  Is it possible that one sexual orientation is a ‘natural lover’?  I have to think it is possible and I can’t see any reason to think evil of such people because of it.

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I guess the honesty of this type of relationship is a step up by quite a bit from the sneaking around and cheating that is also polyamorous but no one but the cheater is aware of it. That is far more dangerous and disastrous than a group of people who say ‘let’s just set all the secrecy aside and be open about the fact all of us love more than one person here’.  It is the consent and agreement to the simple idea that some people are romantically and sexually capable of loving more than one person at once, and that is entirely OK and you don’t have to stop doing it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Stronger” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I suppose being weightlifter gives you some insight into personal strength and where it really comes from.  Physical strength building is easy to conceive, harder to execute because it requires a long term commitment and routine.  In my opinion, it takes much more versatility to think in terms of strength than endurance.  Endurance for me has always been a matter of the will or persevering through it.  Strength requires looking at every angle and figuring out every single aspect of yourself that needs to be trained to get stronger.

In weightlifting, this means you can’t just work one muscle to get stronger.  A deadlift is a good example requires as it requires the entire leg muscles, the lower back and a little of the rest as far as to pull.  Support lifts that strengthen these areas individually are required so when you do them as a whole you have overall strength improvement.

Strength of mind, heart, and spirit are much the same, there isn’t just one thing to it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

I really need to look at things in am ore disciplined manner andperhaps it is time to apply a little minimalism to the whole of my life and eliminate some things I do so I can be more disciplined on a smaller group of things. Refocusing my time on writing and reading seems like a good place to start.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Getting up is no problem, training to be strong so you don’t get knocked down in the first place is its own form of perseverance. I need to work on that.

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Being loyal, I ask sometimes what that means.  It is a simple principle to be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.  The real circular problem is being loyal to myself so I can be loyal to myself.  I don’t know all the repercussions of that, but I am thinking about it.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

I need to focus on simple strengths.  I need the wisdom of making things minimal and simple again.  Time to pair down things in my life a bit to make room for the things that build strength.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 4

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

Well, number four is added with the blog reaching a year old.  That is four since I started this journey and three since April 1st.  There are six left from now until March 31st.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!