Truth

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Getting Specific

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

It is in moments of crisis that the Routines and Goals you have keep you focused and allow you to chart a course through it.  This week I have had my car breakdown and come to the realization once again that my employer, a company I have worked for before, is questionable in regards to backing me up.  I really hate working for other people.  You are just vulnerable to their whims and it sucks if they clearly are more about the bottom line, than taking care of their people.

So, I refocus on my goals and readjust my plans. I mentioned though that my goals list is a little non-specific and that needs to change.  I usually discuss my goals under Business virtues but I think in order to do that I need to make the changes to being more specific now.

Goal List (current): 

  1. Strengthen Marriage
  2. Finish my Political Science Degree
  3. Advance Career
  4. Monitor and Control Finances
  5. Write for my Blog  – 1 post per day average.
  6. Exercise
  7. Follow a Solid Diet Plan
  8. Create and work a Bucket List.

I also want to add a goal about my 50th birthday (March 18, 2019) which is to be in the best health possible.  So a little revision:

Goals List (revised): 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I am hoping with these goals being more specific with measurable, deadline oriented results, things will go much better. This will be the goal list from now on and appear every Wednesday on Business Virtues.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I have some recent challenges to this feeling of self-value.  I can’t go into details but the closure thing is still weighing heavy as well as trying to find something that give’s me value to myself. I have had to look to the future to find things that are positive, because the current situation in a lot of ways has become difficult suddenly.

I am working on being positive. I just get tired sometimes about the setbacks. I would just like things to go really well for once.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Have to say some things to my boss as early as possible this week. Things need to be clearly understood. I know what needs to be done and what the right things is so all that is left is to act.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I am spending a lot of time in silence but there are those moments I know I need to say something.  That’s when courage comes in.  But the main thing is I need to get moving with pursuing what I need to pursue.  Facing the truth of my situation and doing something about it.

School needs to be a love for the truth,  I feel my blogging needs to head that direction as well. Finding truth, knowledge and wisdom is something I have always had as a part of my life and I think this should never change.  I want to be learning something on my deathbed, if it comes to that.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

This is the one thing that is going well. Very well.  Probably the meditation could be a little more formalized but other than that, I feel good about everything here.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

By setting a goal of accomplishing one thing on my bucket list every six months, I have kind of raised the bar here.  The question is which ones to work on every six months.  My best strategy might be to work on a few of them at all times.  If I were to pick the low hanging fruit of this list right now it would be to get my tattoos, get drunk, smoke a joint (more possible given that Michigan legalized recreational use) and write my novel. It’s doesn’t mean I won’t work on the rest, I am just actively trying to get one finished.  My first deadline is July 1st of 2019, so on these I have a little more time.

Recent events have reminded me of the reasons I wanted to start my own business.  There is a vulnerability in working for someone else that has just become unacceptable to me.  I don’t want to be put into a position where I must accept retirement or less hours, layoff, etc.  I want to be my own boss.  I know that has risks, but I would rather be at my own mercy than someone else’s.

Weightlifting:

My major concern here is my current gym might close.  I also have to think about where I might be in the future.  When it comes to gyms I have had to acknowledge that I am up in the air here for a lot of reasons, most notably is that I don’t know where I am going to be working.  My life is changing chapters and part of that is that my gym may very well change.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The State of My Heart

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

The last two weeks have been a lot of wrestling with myself.  This week journal entries will be dealing with the state of different parts of me as I see them and what I can do to improve them.  I will talk in this one of the state of my heart. My Wednesday entry I will talk about the state of my Mind and on Friday the state of my Body.

My view of heart is more than just the state of emotions; it’s also the state of my soul.  The thing is I view this as my core being and that which gives me personal value, motivation and a sense of myself.  It resonates with my foundational virtues the most.  A good heart, is honorable, courageous and rejoices in the truth.

It is also the most fragile part of me as an introverted empathic romantic sap.  I don’t give my friendship or love easily; truth be told, so when someone rejects my love or abuses my friendship, I get devastated. I fully acknowledge the fact that one of the persons who hasn’t treated my heart that well is myself.

See the source image

I would say the state of my heart is wounded, bruised and sometimes bleeding.  It is also held together by stitches, staples and even a rope wrapped around it. I am surprised it survived the summer.  To be honest, I teetered on the edge there for a bit of becoming a heartless bastard.  I got hurt a lot, some of it self-inflicted.  True, I kind of did some hurting there in the beginning myself, but it’s the hurts I received from people who, when I was down, decided to hit me again that really bothered me.

I don’t speak of this much anymore but I also did get my heart broken by someone I loved very deeply this summer. (I don’t speak of this often because its something that is hurtful to my family, but it doesn’t change the fact that it hurt and I still deal with that hurt.  I have to thus deal with it myself.)  There is a deep gash in my heart because of it. I also realized how deeply I hurt someone else; who I have renewed my love for, but that also has been a painful guilt ridden process. Self inflicted wounds there.  I am trying not to become heartless through all this, but I have truly become suspicious of anyone who calls me their friend or says they love me unless they have demonstrated both at a high level first.  Emotionally, I watch my six a lot more because I can’t afford right now to take any more hits. I still try to be true to my better nature. A friend/relative posted this a couple of days ago.  It really spoke to me.

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The one person right now who has proven her love for me is my wife. If there is any demonstration of genuine Christian forgiveness and mercy I can look at right now; it is her.  She is also been my chief source of healing. I long to cuddle with her, make love to her and talk about things with her.  It’s a good feeling and my heart seems to be mending because of it. If I can get closure in a few more things, I might make some real healing progress. I do want to get a wounded heart tattoo at some point as it is part of my journey.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Honor is still a real struggle for me. I feel the real struggle of my natures at times.  Oh, for me this is no longer about sin and righteousness.  For me the issue is more about the Wolves and Ravens.  Making sure the wolves of Need and Want listen to the ravens of Reason and Wisdom. Honor is returning but it is a slow and painful process.

Thing is school will be ending soon and with that graduation.  I even have a lead on an internship to finish things off this Spring. I am really hoping that fully closing this latest chapter in my life and looking forward to the future will restore some honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I am coming up to a time when courage might be called for.  Graduation now looms and looking for a new career starts probably this next week.  I need to be decisive and courageous in this.  The time is getting closer to act.

I want whatever career path I choose to be right.  It needs to fit me.  When I see it, I want to grasp it with both hands.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I miss the old Microphone.  I was absolutely honest with the way I saw things and the truth was more important to me than anything.  Now, I can’t recommend this in the end though, as it can be painful to face the truth about one’s self and situations.  It is often better not to say anything, if one cannot be honest.

This blog takes a different tack.  It is honest when it speaks but when it is silent, that’s when you know I am taking the route of being silent is better when you can’t be honest.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I would say this is becoming more automatic and it is become habit.  To really make sure of that, I need to keep doing it for several more months. The real thing though is the peace of mind and focus this gives me early in the day.  It keeps me focused on why I live quite frankly.  I do feel a sense of purpose again and it is in large part due to the morning routine, in particular the meditation on the NNV and reviewing my goals and principles.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I did a Rabyd Skald post recently about tattooing my closure.  I suppose when people look at the bucket list they might see get my tattoos, they wonder what specifically I am talking about.  Here is my list:

  1. Valknut Tattoo with wolves, ravens and a rune circle.  Right forearm.
  2. Broken Celtic Cross – Center Back right under my neck
  3. Two Wolves – Left shoulder “It’s OK to Feed the Wolves…” in writing under them.
  4. Two Ravens – Right shoulder – “but Listen to the Ravens First”
  5. Wounded Heart Tattoo – Left Pectoral

#1 is about my new philosophy of life where I can always see it and remind myself of it.  #2 – Old Faith – Still I must admit it has an effect on my thinking but I don’t have faith so it is broken.  #3-4 – My philosophical statement clearly stated.  #5 – Given this post, I think this one is self-explanatory.

Weightlifting:

If there is any concern right now it is that my current gym might close.  It’s having a hard time now that Planet Fitness is in town.  The owner is pretty distraught with a lot of personal issues as well.  I hate this because this was my gym – my home gym.  I love the place and always have. I hope they find a way to keep going.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye -Objections to Christianity – Part 1 – The Bible’s Inspiration by God

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Introduction:

I want to state up front, this is a long post. I want to be complete as possible in stating this objection and the ones in the months to follow.  Mostly as I will state later that I for a long time wanted answers; I still do.  It was hard leaving my faith because I wanted so desperately to believe. Reason for me eventually prevailed and I will stand by that decision.   The reason I am putting a lot of words into this is that I still would accept answers: if they could be proven rationally that Christianity is the true religion.

I have written on my crisis of faith a couple of times. Despite some people’s assertion that this is recent phenomena due to personal events, it actually started about two years ago with my second objection. I will talk about that in a couple of weeks, but it is basically I think ‘sin’ is a man-made up concept.  It started when I preached a message about sin and I had heard a quote that week from a critic of Christianity that basically said sin was made up and that because of it Christianity solves a problem of its own making.

I will get into this moment in more detail in a couple of weeks but it got me rethinking every thing in the light of skepticism and I began to form four theological objections for which I still have no satisfactory answers. While the sin question got my original thinking going, it is this first question involving the Bible and divine inspiration that forms the foundation of the other three.

Now, I want to state for the record that I am no amateur when it comes to the Bible or Theology.  1) I have degrees in both Biblical Studies (BA) and Theological Studies (MA).  2) I am a professional theologian and have been since 1996.  3) I was a Christian from the time I was eight and as I approach my 50th birthday that would have been close it forty-two years. 4) I was a pastor (now retired) for twenty years and have spent many years since school studying the Bible and engaging theological questions.  5) I have had several crisis moments in my theology and up until two to three years ago I could answer them all or found ways to explain them.  Not anymore.

I will also say I am not hostile to Christianity, I get it.  It took me a long time to face the facts of the objections I will present in this series. I still am open to anything that answers them.  My largest problem when I discuss this is people sometimes get offended because I seem to be very aggressive, but I am not really doing that, just being as honest as I can.  People don’t always like it when you ask questions that are hard about what they believe. Cognitive dissonance is a real thing, so I get.  Understand I am not being hostile to your faith if you have it.  I am just being hostile to mine or what mine used to be. That’s because I take as a central core idea that if the God of the Bible is the real god and the Bible is inspired by him, then it should make sense and have rational proof this is so.

Faith:

Bottom Line, faith is trusting in something that you have no evidence for and that is the problem.  You hope it is true and you believe it is true, but you don’t know it is true. This is particularly true for many church doctrines and one of the most notable is the divine inspiration of scripture.  The reason I can say this is no matter what school of thought you follow in looking at inspiration, there is no evidence that God came down and inspired the Bible.  You simply have to believe the simple statement “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God.”  There is no attempt to prove this, just a statement of fact that the reader must simply accept.

An example is probably in order: “The Rabyd Skald’s writings are inspired by the God Odin.  Everything he writes comes straight from the mouth of the god Odin.”  You say ridiculous.  I ask why?  You say because I simply have made an assertion and have offered no proof that what I say is true. I want to tell you the Bible does the exact same thing with the exact same level of proof that God came down and directly inspired the writers of the Bible – none. It’s pure faith, no evidence even from the Bible itself.  The Bible writers simply assert this; they never prove it.

Religion:

Looking at the doctrine of inspiration historically, once again we have no proof of the inspiration of Scripture by God, just the creation of the doctrine of inspiration and various councils of men deciding which books are inspired.  There is no record of God coming down and saying – “these books are my inspired word.” Just groups of men doing that.  That is what you actually see.

It stands to reason that religions do this.  In the end, you need a common core of beliefs and authority and it is far easier to make a group of writings do that because it has a greater chance of standing the test of time.  Especially if you inject a tradition of copying and transcribing these books from one generation to the next. Even in this though, two problems develop. 1) People abuse the authority of said books and can twist their meaning and 2) the transcription of said books can be flawed.

The second brings up an additional inspiration question which is: ‘Is the Bible still inspired even though people have put mistakes into it and changed it from one language to the next where meaning is going to get changed?  The human factors are definitely present in the Bible.  Does that undermine inspiration or simply point to the fact that the Bible is a wholly human book and because we don’t really have proof God is involved, are we just making up the whole divine inspiration thing in order make this human book have more significance?

Theology:

I spent a great deal of time and digital ink pouring over this question of inspiration.  On my blog All Things Rabyd (which is still there although no longer active)  I spent nine posts looking at the various theories of divine inspiration.  You can find the link to all of them here. I eventually settled on Dynamic Inspiration as the best possible explanation to handle the human element being in the bible.  That much like the doctrines of Christ state Jesus was 100% God and 100% Man, so was the bible the same way.  It satisfied me for a while but there was a fatal flaw in the whole thing.

The flaw? I still had no proof positive that the 100% divine inspiration part was real.  There is no photograph of God reaching into the head of Paul or Moses inspiring them to write things.  I mean you could say God is the inspiration for the Bible like a person might be inspired to write about nature from being outside. There is however no proof that God took an active hand in telling the authors what to write or how to write it.  That is purely a matter of whether you believe that or not.  It really is blind faith on that particular question.

Spirituality:

I will probably handle other objections involving scripture at a later date.  My purpose today is to get the main parts of my first objection to Christianity out there.  The question always comes – do I still read the Bible and what value do I place on it?  Well, yes I do.  I value it in that it contains a lot of ‘truth’ small t.  I just don’t think it’s the Truth.  Rather a lot of men wrote about their sincere belief in God.  God inspired them in that way and they wrote but in the end, it was human inspiration ABOUT the divine.  It was not God coming down and whispering in their ear what to write, no matter what their claims.

For me, I still draw a lot of inspiration from the Bible.  Some of its stories are great.  It has men wrestling with the question about God.  The teachings of Christ are some of the best on human relationships you will ever see.  That said, it is only one avenue of being inspired, not the only one and it is a very human book.  In short, it has its flaws, and I think some of the morality it promotes could be questioned as to whether it actually does good or not.

Conclusion:

When the doctrine of inspiration goes, then you can look at the bible objectively.  This caused me to really realize the god of the Bible has a few problems.  1) Sin seems to be made up as a concept and used to control the behavior of people 2) The plan of salvation God comes up with does not speak well of supreme being because it makes God both sadistic and masochistic. 3) God’s justice seems a little suspect especially when you consider final judgment.

Every other week I will be writing on one of these. In between, I will be writing on my state of faith currently and what I am pursuing to kind of balance out things.  Because like it or not, losing your faith and going through the reasons for it is depressing.  Need counterbalance that with a little more positive.  Next Week I will talk about why I am a deist.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – The Foundational Virtues – Closure

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have spent the greater part of October planning and organizing the plan for my life post-pastor and post-Christianity. Now it is time to act.  This last week has been a little rough for me, as I have spent way too much time thinking on the past and trying to shake it. The real thing I think I am facing is the fact that with a lot of parts of the past, I lack closure.  Things ‘ended’ with several things in my life with what I would consider bad endings. If they had been written out as part of one of my stories, I would have definitely considered a rewrite to at least provide some sense of ending for the reader.  The way things actually went down, there is no sense of that.  At least from my side there isn’t.

It’s why things don’t sit well with me on several past issues and this is something that is affecting me and my wife, so I will probably talk about it at our next counseling session. I can’t go into all the details, but I think I need a way to find some closure on some things and I just don’t know how yet.  That’s part of my next task personally.

As it is, I need to fight the anger, sadness and The Grey that comes with this struggle, so the time to Journal and Act on all the planning I have done this last month is now.  I need to stay busy and thus keep walking this journey I call my life.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

The real question for me is honor.  In some of these past cases, I feel people got the better of me by taking advantage of my vulnerability.  In some cases, it is myself that needs to apologize for my actions. In some cases, it is simply that the way I parted with someone just wasn’t right.  There are many things left unsaid and undone.

It’s hard to be positive about my future when the past reminds me of my failures.  It needs to be dealt with properly and in some cases, it might not be possible. I need to calm myself through meditation at these times and refocus on the future.  It’s just something I need to get better at doing.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Three things are required for courage to take place.  1) To know what the right thing is. 2) To know what to do about it and 3) To know when to do it.  It’s this three-fold thing that keeps me engaged in evaluation of every action that requires courage.

If there is a closure regret that I can relay specifically, it’s that I truly wish I could go back in time and handle my church resignation myself.  What I should have done is taken a Sunday off to think about it and then resigned in person the next Sunday after that.  Perhaps then things would have been different, but who knows.  For future reference some notes to self: 1) If there is something hard to do, do it yourself and 2) Don’t trust others to do things for you that directly affect you – they will either fuck it up or fuck you over, so do it yourself.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Being honest with myself is more the struggle these days.  It is easy to blame others and I am not saying others are not to blame at times, but you can only control what you do, so knowing the truth is helpful in that regard.  If others do indeed fuck you over, then fine, but make sure you learn what you could have done better first before seeking justice.

I pursue any knowledge I think will benefit me in the future.  These days this pursuit is done with a lot of practicality in mind.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

This has been going really well so far, but I had to make one change in the order which was to put my meditation after my full body stretch.  This is more of a practical thing as I end my stretching on the floor and so it’s a simple matter to go lotus position at that point and just meditate for a couple of minutes on the Virtue for the day.  Other than that I think the whole thing is a good order and working well for me.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I think the one thing on this list that is the most possible is getting my first tattoo once I have the money. I mean I could do the Smoke a Joint thing but I am trying to keep clean for job search purposes.  Once school is over I think the novel and Learning Latin might be next.  The weightlifting goals will come when they come.

Weightlifting:

Weightlifting’s great challenge right now is picking which days to do it.  My schedule at work is different days every week. So the thing is that I need to make four trips to the gym a week.  This means sometimes its weekend days as well.  This is simply necessary because trying to lift after a long day of work and school and then late gym session can be too much.  I found out Sunday morning is pretty empty at the gym.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 47 – Enjoying Humanity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Voices:

https://youtu.be/pKlg3jYMwRU

I have been listening to this one a lot this week.  It kind of goes along with the theme this week, so I will keep the commentary about it until the Sermon.

Poem:

“My Soul Has Eyes”

The Mirror to the Soul

So they are called.

I can’t see my own

unless I look in the mirror.

I wonder what part of my soul people see?

The part of my soul that is tired and depressed

The part of my soul that has regrets

The part of my soul that bleeds with wounds new and old

The part of my soul that is black and dark

or the part that shines in hope and love.

I wish I knew what people see in my eyes

What part of my soul is laid bare.

– Ed Raby, Sr.  – October 25, 2018

I must confess my writing of poetry is bitter sweet.  It enjoy it on the one hand because it allows me to express feelings in words that normal writing doesn’t do.  I need that from time to time.  On the other hand the memories of the person associated with me learning to write poems better and understand them better comes up every time I do it, and that just makes me sad.  I guess it’s something I just live with, because I can’t seem to stop writing them from time to time.  Sometimes its the only thing that works.

Meditation: 

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I post a lot of memes and sayings on Facebook.  Just so everyone knows, the Meditation for the week usually comes from one of them I posted that past week.  It’s the one that meant the most to me.

Song of Preparation:Van Halen – Love Walks In:

The story associated with this song for me is that I was standing in a convenience store a little after my wife and I started reconciling.  This song came on and the guy behind the counter was singing it.  I joined in; which is not something I normally do.  The guy behind the counter stopped to listen to me and asked if the song meant something to me.  I told him until that moment, no.  But now it did.  Not only did it reflect at the time the new feelings of love I had for my wife but there was a very human moment there with that guy.  Humanity didn’t seem all that bad to me at that time.

Text: Havamal 47

Young was I once, I walked alone,
and bewildered seemed in the way;
then I found me another and rich I thought me,
for man is the joy of man.

Sermon:

It is really hard to be objective about the nature of humanity.  Most of us think humans as a rule are not the greatest thing to ever happen to us.  Some people I imagine love people, but there are a good chunk of us that have problems with humanity.  Some of us, like in the video of Disturbed’s song ‘Voices’, have our fantasies about getting back at the bullies, getting revenge on the girl who dumped us or tying up a difficult boss.  It truly is freaky shit that we think of sometimes isn’t it when it comes to how we would like to respond toward some people’s actions toward us.  The voices are pretty convincing that even we are not all that great.

If we were honest though, most of the people in our lives are a lot like us.  Just trying to make their way in the world and do the best they can.  Very few people in our lives actually deliberately try to make our lives miserable.  There are a few, I will acknowledge that, but for most part, people seem decent enough.

I think this is more evident if you have ever been lost alone away from people for a while or wonder if you can find your way back to them.  I have had this experience at least twice.  It is an intense relief when you actually find another person.  I get what Odin is saying in Havamal 47.  Like it or not we need our fellow humans and very few of us are misanthropes.

In fact, I would argue that many times at our lowest point it has been someone else who helped us out of it.  Some person who saw us in our suffering and actually stopped to help, or as we wandered we ran into someone who inspired us. I would say our positive encounters with humans actually probably outweigh our negative ones.

At the very least we become like the guy in the Disturbed video of ‘Voices’.  We drop our anger and desire for vengeance and simply walk off to the mosh pit and try to find a more human ‘loving’ way to get rid of our anger. Perhaps that is the greatest testimony to humanities goodness after all – that we choose to find another way that is constructive.  Very few of us actually act on the voices.

Closing Song:  Slash Street Boys – “I’ll Kill You That Way”:

A little Halloween Humor to send you off today.  Enjoy the Week and Happy Halloween!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Halloween (Samhain)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Every once in a while I make the statement that I am a Pagan or have Pagan tendencies.  I have to confess the main reasons for this are spirituality and  holidays.  I suppose this post is more for educational purposes than it is expression of any beliefs I might have; but I do embrace the idea that a truer understanding in the realm of spirituality might be our hearts reaching out to the world around us, and paganism has that in abundance.

By the next Odin’s Eye we will be past Halloween and so I want to talk about the holiday before it happens.  I must freely confess now that my favorite holiday of the year is actually Halloween.  I never could say that because I was a Christian and minister, but now I can.  I love the whole thing.  The dressing up in costumes, the carving pumpkins, trick or treat, the whole darkness and death of it.  It reminds us all things die and when it comes to the seasons this is particularly true.  In a sense Halloween is the celebration of the end of the harvest season and the end of the year for pagans.

Now Christians tend to make anything Satanic if it doesn’t line up with their beliefs but Halloween and Samhain are hardly Satanic.  The real problem is that Christians also steal a lot from pagans and the fact that All Saints Day is November 1 is no accident because Halloween is the big day for pagans.  It’s about countering it with a Christian holiday. But Christians steal a lot more than that and holidays for Christianity tend to be near to pagan ones and even use pagan symbols but Christianize them.

That said, I like the basic concepts of paganism’s spirituality because it creates a very individualized belief system to the person while at the same time allows community spirit. At the same time, it has aspects of religion that I pretty much as a deist reject.

Faith:

No I don’t really have faith in what is commonly called Wicca or Paganism on that side of the aisle.  When I say I have pagan tendencies, I mean I draw my spirituality from looking at the world around me and my inward self.  This means paganism has many schools of thought and most of them have the same religious nature as the monotheistic faiths.  I have faith in my abilities to advance myself and be in tune with the world around me.  That’s about it, but it lines up with paganism’s basic foundational tenets.

Religion:

Halloween for the Pagan marks the end of the year and starts the new year with the season of Samhain.  The beginning of the long dark period before rebirth and renewal in the spring.  Different pagan groups view this differently but Halloween was a celebration originally and Christians are probably the most guilty of trying to add sinister qualities to it to discredit it.  Mostly though it is a time and day to honor the past and past people. To honor what has gone on before.

Theology:

Theologically speaking as a deist who believes in something; but as an agnostic I don’t know what it is, I think paganism is more honest about looking at what we know for sure and honoring it.  What can we know for sure?  The people who have gone before us that have blazed the path so we are where we are today.  Honoring the dead and their work and sacrifices is something we can truly honor and know we are honoring something that is indeed real.

Spirituality:

I suppose my most spiritual moment this last summer came while standing at the graveside of my father.  Given all that I was going through, I was wondering what he would have said or done at that moment.  I have to admit that it was there at his graveside I began to realize some sense of reality of what I was doing and perhaps honoring my commitments.  Mostly to my wife.  I still struggled after that but that moment left me pondering my life and in the end became the seed of the motivation that caused me to consider reconciliation with my wife.  Perhaps there is far more spiritual truth to the honoring those who have gone before. All religions seem to have elements of this and perhaps it is one of the more valuable contributions of religion in general.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – ‘Nudism’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

As a Christian theologian I wrote on the subject of human nudity a lot.  You can still read most of it at All Things Rabyd under the page titled God and Nudity.  Through all that, I developed some interesting friends in the nudist community.  I discovered that the term ‘Christian nudist’ is not actually an oxymoron.  I see recently the Sky Clad Therapist among my recent followers.  He is someone I have had a long association with on WordPress through the years on this subject.

Back in the Christian days, I spent a lot of time a Biblical scholar and theologian trying to come to grips with nudity from a Christian perspective. I went through the entire Bible and came to some controversial conclusions.  Some of the more thought provoking ones were that God’s view of nudity is that it was good, that the Bible makes no distinction about women’s breasts as being sinful and that if we were to follow the gospel’s implications to their logical conclusions, then we should return to our original state if all sin has been removed by Christ – ‘naked and unashamed’.

Practically of course, one cannot act on such conclusions either as a Christian in Western society or particularly as a minister.  Now that I am neither, I face some thoughts on this matter because the only thing really now is the social mores of our culture and the decency laws.  I say this because personally I have been just as comfortable in my skin as I am in my clothes and have been that way most of my life. The question now is does my departure from Christianity change my perspective on nudism?  On to the Wolves and Ravens.

Geri (Need): Do we have a need to be naked?  I think we do.  Practically I know for a biological fact our skin functions in its job better when exposed to the open air.  From vitamin D production to simply not developing the fungus on our bodies that comes from sweat and oil being trapped next to our skin by our clothing, I would say there is good evidence being naked for some frames of time leads to better health.  Psychologically, I have to say there is something relaxing about it.  I know what others have told me social nudity has allowed them to have a better positive body image, better understanding of the equality of human beings and other benefits. So perhaps our minds, hearts and bodies do have a need for it.

Freki (Want):  Do people want to be naked? Honestly there are surely those that do.  The question is what of the rest of people who have social mores about it and don’t ‘want to see that.’  The point is though there are some of us who like to be sky-clad from time to time and I don’t think this can be labeled as inherently bad depending on the motivation.  From and intimacy standpoint, nudity with lovers is desired and I can’t say that is inherently bad either.  The issue is motivation and what the nudity is being used for.  But even the uses of nude photography and art have their want aspects that requires looking at motivation. To want to be naked in and of itself – no problem.  If there is a purpose attached then the moral question shifts to whether the want is beneficial or detrimental to self or society.

Huginn (Reason): If I apply straight reason to nudism and nakedness, I really can’t say there is any reasonable detriment to either self or society.  You can’t make a positive statement that a person’s nudity causes harm in and of itself. If a woman strips her clothes off in a crowded room, no one can claim that action or her nudity harms anything other than their sensibilities.  The only reason to be applied to such action is that because some do not have such a view, it might bring harm to her because some would be offended at take action against her – physical or societal.  Reason should tell the nudist, to be wary of the laws of the land and what society thinks to avoid consequences. But no reasonable inquiry can find that nudity in and of itself harms anyone.

Muninn (Wisdom): Wisdom says that there are certain societal issues that, while it is not reasonable to have moral objections to them, people do not act on reason. Probably some of the most noteworthy of such issues are marriage and sex.  Certainly in this category is nudism.  Nudity generates a varied response.  Those that want to fulfill their need and desire to be nudists need to exercise a lot of caution and wisdom.  Privacy and finding private places is a good start with this. If there is a need for social nudity, finding places dedicated to such activity is probably a better bet than fighting laws.

I am not saying to not educate and try to find a way to more rational laws.  I think for instance the topfree movement is a good movement.  What I am saying is you better ask yourself if your activism is worth the money in fines or time in jail. There is also the question of family to consider.  As much as individual practice is at the forefront, your spouse may not be of the same mind or the rest of your family.  Nudists simply have to accept the fact that not everyone can separate nudity from sexuality.

Conclusion:  Personally, I am not an open practitioner of nudism. It is part of my life but I do so privately, when no one else is around. It is part of my morning routine from the time I get up; through meditation, stretching, breakfast and my shower. I sleep naked and have for decades.  I don’t really have any rational objection to it anymore, nor do I appeal to any authority other than reason and wisdom.  I keep my practice private and to myself. I find it liberating, comforting and spiritually uplifting as a spiritual discipline.

I think that is probably the way most nudism is practiced in western society.  People being comfortable in the privacy of their own homes.  To be honest, we should respect that and it’s none of our concern most of the time.  For the nudist, I would say that it’s OK to be one, but listen to the ravens.  Use your reason and wisdom as you exercise your needs and wants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Weightlifting Plan

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

I must pause here and reflect a bit before I get into my actual plan.  This has been without a doubt one of the most stressful times I have had running from the end of May until the end of August.  It was in many ways up and down like the worlds most twisty roller coaster and just as friendly to my insides.  Through all that, I have been able to maintain a couple of things that kept me from going totally nuts.  One of them was weightlifting.

Like Henry Rollins says – 200 lbs. is 200 lbs.  The Iron is a reference point, beacon and the real deal.  There is no falsity to iron. In my life, the iron has never left me, disappointed me, run out on me or freaked out on me. I found this summer the one place of calm and steadiness was the gym and my truest friend the iron.

My weightlifting plan revolves around quarters.  October through December is the fourth quarter so I am coming to the end of my current year cycle. Next Year is kind of up in the air because I plan on looking for a new job and that might take me in various directions.  It’s too bad because after three and a half years at my current gym, I have come to love the place.  Practicality might dictate something closer to work instead of school and that means changing gyms.  This might cause me to change plans but I doubt it as I wouldn’t consider a gym that didn’t have the equipment I need, unless I have no choice.

In planning I have also had to consider some injuries of the past.  Two years ago I had a repair on a high hernia which required a fairly lengthy recovery from a lifting standpoint.  More recently I have had to deal with tennis elbow in my left elbow. It’s these more lengthy, non-life threatening events that have caused me to rethink an old saying – ‘you need to train to train.”  That means more abdominal work and forearm work.  Stuff a lot of people neglect but I can’t afford to do that anymore.  I want to keep lifting for a long time so injury prevention training is part of the deal.  That’s why the split is longer with five days but I only lift on four days a week so recovery is not an issue.  It’s also why every day now starts with a full stretching routine in the mix.

Everything I do is focused on muscle growth or endurance.  Strength comes with that but it’s not a focus. As I age, muscle loss is more of a problem and I want to fight that.  I will however start with strength because my bucket list has some items I need to work on. So January will be more strength focused with probably a 4 x 5 set/rep range. April to June I will be back to hypertrophy with 4 x 8, July to September 4 x 10, October to December – 4 x 8 once again.

My split hasn’t changed all year other than I added a day – The Core Day which is about abdominal work.  Day 1 – Chest/Delts, Day 2 – Back/Traps, Day 3 – Legs, Day 4 – Arms, Day 5 – The Core. I am hoping once school gets done I can go back to five days a week but right now I four is enough with one day getting a break each week.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

There is always some argument about whether honor is an internal thing or external thing.  I say internal because quite frankly not every one is going to like you and just because some people dishonor you, it doesn’t mean you have it give them credence.  What should mean something to you is your feeling of self value and if that’s good you are good. It’s why some people can disrespect me and I can ignore them or tell them to fuck off.

I am struggling with being positive.  Right now mental fatigue is very high and what I really want is a whole week off from everything.  Not going to happen, so need to find a way to get more motivation to get stuff done and that starts with being positive.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I say fuck off to a lot of people who call me a coward.  Sometimes the right thing is to walk away and that is what I am trying to do.  The same time, I feel the scales of justice need to be balanced, but I can be patient about that.

Image may contain: 1 person, beard and text  Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I spend a lot of time in silence these days.  It’s better than lying to people who want to know how I am.  Mostly, people need to mind their own business.  I also would say I don’t tell to many people what’s going on with me, because my trust level of others has taken a nose dive in the last few months.  I trust very few these days and most of them are family and even then advice is to be wary of everyone.  Some don’t like the truth, so there is that.

Image may contain: one or more people and textSchool is OK.  I get by but I am waiting for that spark that ignites me to pursue knowledge at a high level and I think that is starting to happen.  We shall see.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 2 – Frigg’s Vision (Frigg)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg stood on the porch of her and her husband’s cabin.  It wasn’t much, just a few rooms and a central chamber with fireplace.  Not that the cold mattered to her or her husband as being immortal, cold was simply a hardship to be endured.  The other two rooms were a large bedroom for her and Odin and another bedroom for guests.

She stood puzzled at her thoughts and feelings that morning, a stern look on her milky white face.  She brushed back her long golden hair as the small but steady breeze kept pushing it in her face.  He ice blue eyes scanning the edge of the woods waiting for her husband’s arrival.  She knew he would be bringing someone with him.  Someone who was going to  change everything. She after all was a practitioner of seidr, the magic of fate.  She didn’t use often anymore.  Knowing the future of a person and their fate was, as she discovered, an awful burden to bear.

She used both hands to brush down her dress which was white and made of a slightly see through fabric. She wove it herself. Her body was perfectly curved and her proportions would have made any artist long for the chance to paint her.  The dress she wore shimmered and on occasion one could see her skin underneath.  Perhaps her sister goddess Freya would smile at her lack of modesty in her choice of dress. Freya being the goddess of sex and love was rarely modest about either subject in both action and words.  Frigg was the mother goddess and so hearth, home and marriage were her domains.  A wife should be modest but she was with her husband alone so modestly was less important.

Frigg however was unconcerned about the opinions of another goddess.  Right now her concern was on a vision she had of her husband finding a body on the beach.  She could see the body of a man whose fate was one to bring change to the gods.  Great Change. She could not as usual see all the details. Only that the man over her husbands shoulders was fated to bring change. What and to what extent she could not say.

In a few moments, two ravens appeared and flew to her.  One landed on her forearm.  Huginn.  He whispered to her and she smiled and nodded.  Huginn flew off and joined his brother Muninn.  In a few more moments, she saw her husband and the wolves round the bend of the beach and start approaching the house.  Odin walked with confidence and assurance of the king of the gods.  Her heart always swelled with pride when she saw her husband.

She frowned when she turned her attention to the naked man he was carrying.  Odin’s wolves ran ahead and greeted Frigg and she greeted them back.  Odin’s stride closed the distance between them.

“Frigg, I have a man who needs your attention.”

“I know, but relax his fate is not to die.  Rest your mind, hansom husband.  Take him inside to the guest room.”

Odin sniffed a short snort and carried the man inside. His wolves followed him in and the ravens flew through the open doorway.  The ravens found their place on the fireplace mantel and the wolves lay by the fire in front of two chairs that faced it.

Odin and Frigg then placed the man under the blankets in the guest bed.  Frigg smiled at the man.  Older but still fit and….well equipped.  Freya her sister would laugh to know her thoughts.  Odin smiled at his wife and Frigg actually blushed.

“Looks like I am going to have to get my wife to forget something she saw tonight.”

“Fear not husband, I was only smiling at what Freya would think of our stranger. But still it has been a few days since we…”

Odin laughed and slapped his wife’s backside to which she blushed again and grinned at him.

“Tell me wife, is he the one?”

“Yes, he is fated to bring great change to the gods.”

“Ragnarok?”

“His thread of life ends at the same time your’s does, my love.”

Odin’s smile faded.  His vision of his end was the eyes and teeth of Fenrir the great wolf.

“My love, that does not mean he will cause Ragnarok, just that he will be there at the end of the world. I caution you my love, remember we can think we are stopping fate by our actions but in truth we are actually making it sure.”

“I know, Fenrir taught me that.”

She nodded.

“What’s wrong with him, my wife?”

“Nothing, there is magic at work here my husband.  I need to open my seeing eye.”

Frigg’s face went blank.  Odin waited knowing that she would see a vision of some sort. He hated this part of it though.  There was always some fear in his heart that the love of his life would stay in that glazed over state forever.  But once again she returned.

She turned to Odin.

“It’s him.  The Grey thread, the Grey Wayfarer.  That amulet has allowed him to cross the barrier into our world from his.”

Odin grunted.  Damn.  So change and perhaps Ragnarok after all.

“Well, there is nothing for it my wife but to set him on the path he must walk.”

Frigg frowned, “I know but…”

“Sorry, my wife.  I believe at long last our end has come.  As you said to fight fate might bring it about and hasten it.”

“Should we tell him when he awakens, my king?”

Odin was taken back.  Frigg never called him ‘my king’ anywhere except in court at Valhalla.

“Nothing my queen.  It would only bring on the risk of hastening fate as well  No, we tell him nothing, equip him and then set him on the path.  He must walk it himself and that will bring about the end quick enough.”

Frigg rose to her feet and then walked to her husband and put her arms around his neck.  She kissed him deeply and his arms when around her.  He pulled her close, and when their kiss broke, she whispered in his ear.

“Take me, my love.  Make love to me like it is the end of the world.”

“I shall my love, because it is.”

Odin scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the room and into their bedroom.  There they made love as only gods who are finally facing mortality can.  After her husband fell asleep, Frigg lay there naked in the darkness for a while but couldn’t sleep.  She left the bed and wandered to the guest room where she looked at the man again.

Tears filled her eyes.  She didn’t know who to weep for more.  The gods who were about to face mortality or the man laying in the bed in front of her.  His fate would end with theirs, but the pain he would suffer would be more than most gods could endure.  Yes, the gods had good reason for sorrow.  But the Grey Wayfarer… may the gods have pity for him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Daily Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Geri, Freki, Hugin, Munin... Valknut

Happy Moon’s Day

With my Morning Routine set up, the discussion turns to my Daily Routine.  What is the stuff I do every day?  Well, probably what I would like to see every day at this point.

Daily Routine:

  1. Blogging – the general target is to have three posts cued up in the scheduled list by day’s end and four others in the draft file in various stages of construction.
  2. Reading – 1 hour per day.  Right now this is taken up by school, but eventually I would like this to be free to read what I want.
  3. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed. This is currently on my list because of school.  I think it might stay after school is over because I will be using it for research or for writing things for publication.
  4. Empty In Box – I have a box on my desk that I put stuff in that requires my attention.  The goal is to have it empty at the end of every day.
  5. Financial Transaction input – I try to put all financial transactions for me and my wife in my computer each day.  It doesn’t take long.
  6. Communication / Cuddle Time – I try to do this with my wife every day for at least a half hour. Sometimes our varied schedules make this difficult.  It is actually the number one thing on this list and gets done when there is time.

None of this stuff actually takes very long other than the time limit stuff.  My goal is to have it done each day, so every day I am finished with things and making progress.  That the administration of life is kept up with every single day is the major goal here.

Mostly this is only problematic on days where I have both work and class.  On those days free time is at a premium.  Otherwise I have time to do all of it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

At work and school I guess I feel that inner sense of honor to a point.  People at both places value my contributions and that is good for my self-esteem in that sense.  Most of the challenges to honor come from my dreams and the occasional person I run into who used to greet me warmly but now shuns me.  The people who shun me are easy to deal with – 1) check them off as no longer a friend, and  2) move along treating them as someone I used to know.  Dreams are a bit harder. My recurring dream is me going about my daily business but with people who I used to know yelling at me.  They yell things at me indicating my moral failures and my short comings.  The dreams always end with them turning violent and me being the victim of a death-wound by one of them.  I usually wake up at that point.  If I dwell on this too much my honor level drops a bit.

I am starting to feel more positive about my future.  I applied for graduation this last week so that is in the works. I am feeling better about school in general although I do have some more work to do yet to catch up.  It’s close now to the end and I think I will be a better position for a better job after graduation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

In my dreams the word ‘coward’ comes out of the mouths of some.  I don’t really get that accusation.  I simply have responded at times to what people have done to me by talking about it openly.  The coward would gossip, slander, back bite and back stab.  I don’t do those things.  I either tell people what happened from my perspective or I keep silent. I don’t feel I need to respond directly to people who in my estimation were the first ones to act in cowardice toward me.  Virtue is a two-way street and if the accusation of being a coward came from someone I consider brave, I would give it thought.  As it is, not so much.

I have an evaluation coming up at work.  I need to speak on the future with that company.  My additional problem is I need an internship. This is going to require some courage to explain to my present employer where I stand with them. If I am not going to have a good and productive future with them, then I need to move on when I can.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty with others is not so great an issue as honesty with myself. I am wrestling with so much these days as far as truth with me that I have a hard time with keeping my foundation stable. These days I prefer silence and peace. If only those voices from my dreams would stop haunting me when I am awake.

I am getting ready to write my last major paper for school – My Political Science Capstone.   I am wrestling with the topic and the thesis statement.  I have permission to use this for my Health Economics Class as well.  I want this paper to reflect what I see as the truth about a health issue.  It has to have sound political science basis, economics and if I can get my international business knowledge into it as well – bonus.  It’s not just about a paper but a final reflection on what I have learned in this degree and applying it to real life. It’s about pursuing truth as well.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!