“Religion, Sex, and Deconversion” – Freya’s Chambers – Sex

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

When I was a person of faith and religion, sex was an uncomfortable topic for me and those around me.  Mostly because there is this whole notion of sin that is injected into the picture. Plus there was a lot of shame associated with being found to have a sexual attitude that differed from the acceptable norm.  Certainly, my sexual education really didn’t have a chance to get anything factual unless it was by accident. Being the rebel I have always been when it comes to social mores, I found myself at odd on the subject of sex and nudity in the Christian context more than once. The real issue for Christians is keeping the desire for sex inside their so-called god-given boundaries. That being one man, one woman in marriage for life. This avoids the deadly sin of Lust.

When I realized that the whole sin thing was made up, this caused me to change my attitudes about sexuality quite a bit.  Mostly things get really basic as I think that the whole ideas of faith and religion actually complicate the matter of sex quite a bit. In religion, everyone argues nuances to see how far they can push their own sexual proclivities. The discussion, if it is had at all, is one of arguing small details of ‘how far is too far’.  I mean it really comes down to looking at each sexual issue and asking does the Bible or the religion allow it?  In my own faith, the issues of masturbation and whether in marriage oral sex, anal sex and BDSM were allowed. The one thing for sure was no one is allowed to think for themselves on the subject.

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This leads to all kinds of secret behavior that in many ways is far more erotic, unsafe and in many ways weirder than outside the church when it comes to sex. The most common being that religious teens are often told little about birth control if at all, but sooner or later the young couple gets alone and things happen. Unwanted teenage pregnancies anyone?  Not to mention that while abortions are opposed by Christians, the people who actually get them the most, probably because of the unwanted pregnancies, are Christians.

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If only birth control were taught in a proper manner, then fewer of these abortions would take place.  But that is the kind of logic that religion causes you to not even consider.  Sex before marriage is a sin and so is abortion.  You don’t need birth control because its a sin to have sex before your married and you will thus never need an abortion.  If only human behavior conformed so nicely into such black and white terms.

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This, of course, leads to the hypocrisy of the public maintenance of certain standards while at the same time privately not even at times being remotely close to those standards.  Divorce, infidelity, and abortion are higher among the religious than the irreligious and I understand now why.  There is an incredible power to guilt to keep control but at the same time, such guilt produces curiosity.

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I experienced this over and over myself as people would tell me such and such behavior was harmful and then I would start thinking about the behavior and why it was harmful.  Sooner or later I would engage the behavior and then discover it wasn’t that harmful – let’s just say if masturbation makes you blind, I should have been sightless a long time ago. If there is some physical malady that arises from watching or looking at porn, yeah, I would have that too.  So far all I could say was I developed a lot of guilt for nothing.

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Since deconverting, I have no hell to worry about, no wrath of a god that doesn’t exist.  The guilt aspect has diminished quite a bit.  Sex has become a part of life, nothing more or less.  Much more rationally approached.  I enjoy making love to my wife; we have a good time.  but, I don’t get guilty about it when I find myself sexually attracted to other females though – it’s normal.  What I do consider is consent, safety, and maturity which includes societal consequences.  In the case of my wife – fidelity as a virtue is actually much more important than it was as a believer.  Because I don’t assume it anymore and look at it as something to strengthen and improve because that is what you do with virtues.

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I personally am much more open to a polyamorous relationship, but my wife is not, so I honor that and respect it as long as we continue to choose to be together.  Because all those vows made before God, don’t mean shit to me anymore.  My religion was discarded a long time ago and with it the attitudes it has concerning sex and marriage.   What matters is fidelity and honor. For those, I stay true but rationally realistic about my own sexual desires.  I see religion colors the lenses so badly, it leads to more trouble than it is worth.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Robert Heinlein’s Line Marriage” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Orientation

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

In 1967 the science fiction writer Robert Heinlein published his novel – The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. It was mainly focused on showing how people could not only go to the moon but also after a hundred years establish a colony on it.  In the midst of the story however, he introduced a concept of group marriage called – the line marriage.

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The main protagonist of the story is in such a marriage.  He has multiple spouses and all his wives also have multiple spouses as it is essentially a polyamorous marriage, although no homosexuality is mentioned. The ficitonal comment is made that the marriage was 150 years old.  The two people who started it had long ago died when the moon colony was young.

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The idea of line marriage is to keep it going you add to it in such a way that there are multiple generations represented.  In the story, the protagonist is the third husband a far as age with a couple younger ones behind him.  The women are generationally spaced as well. The chief, of course, is that all the wives and husbands can have sex with each other. There are no exclusive bed partners and the members can also date if the aim is to bring in another member.  The real issue is that Heinlein presents a world where sexual jealousy is minimized or a thing of the past.

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There is a lot of advantages the protagonist points out to this relationship.  There are multiple incomes but only one large dwelling to maintain so they are fairly prosperous. Children in his world require licensing to have because of overpopulation but the ones they do have are considered to belong to the whole marriage. So everybody pitches in and takes care of the children thus they have so burned out is less frequent.

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The organization of the family is with one head patriarch and one matriarch to handle the day to day issues but more complicated decisions are handled democratically. The rights of each person are respected and the responsibilities are laid out clearly.  The marriage is a true contract relationship and people can leave it, but it is remarked that very few have.

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The sexual issue was actually handled by the women as far as who was going to sleep with who every evening.  In the book, the protagonist sleeps with two or three of his wives and gets the honor of being the first to consummate the marriage with the woman he brings into it as he patriarch defers to him although he would normally have the right to go first. Not that sexual fidelity seems to be required as long as people are practicing safe sex outside the marriage.

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Could this concept work in the real world? it has been said that polyamorous relationships, whether married or not, don’t work out long term. I have never seen research to back this idea up so I can only say until lI see some that the concept seems sound. Jealousy and the feeling of being left out would seem to be the biggest dangers of this but the open nature of it would mean the marriage is more about the mutual benefits without the responsibilities being overbearing.  I can’t say at this time that it wouldn’t work.

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It does reflect I am beginning to understand more and more what people mean by love not being limited by gender or number.  Monogamy is definitely hard to maintain and often leads to a lot of work and disappointment for a multitude of reasons. Those reasons seem to be answered and countered with the idea of line marriage.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Marriage Rights” – Freya’s Chambers – Equality

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Discussion:

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Now, this is a pretty large umbrella and I first want to begin with the issue of what marriage is.  While religious pundits would argue that it is an institution from God, I would argue that all religions seem to have it or something like it and some of these relationships predate some religions if archeology and scholarship are to be believed.

Marriage itself had always been a cultural l institution and it can be argued whether it is even a good one.  As a libertarian, I question why it even needs to exist.  There is nothing done in a marriage relationship that cannot be done without the marriage.  In the end, it is about legal obligation and people want to put a romantic spin on it using either religion or calling it an expression of love.  As if somehow by getting married you create some more love than already existed. I think there is a lot of nice touchy-feely to the idea of marriage that keeps wedding planners and officiants making money.

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In any case, if we are going to have it I don’t know why the government is involved in the first place.  Yes, it makes it legal but that could also be accomplished by two people going to a lawyer and hashing out a relationship contract. Does the marriage license simply do this in a faster convenient way? If so, I doubt the legalities would be considered equality from a sex point of view, particular in dower states where a woman basically gets half the guys stuff simply by saying ‘I do’ and not such condition exists the other way. The point is those that get married under a license, at least in the United States have conditions of that marriage that they would probably not like if they knew them.

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Mostly though marriage survives because of shame and stigma when you are not in certain situations.  The two biggest ones being that not being married is somehow odd and if a woman has a child out of wedlock.  Practically, neither of these stigmas make any sense. As people recognize the bullshit of these stigmas, marriage is indeed taking a hit. I can speak from personal experience that no legal contract, rings or vows will keep you faithful and true nor does an increased level of love result from getting married.

But until marriage is seen for what it is we are going to have it and the state is going to get involved so how should they act when people who normally don’t get married want to do so.  The secular answer is ‘equal protection’ not a restriction of rights.  Justice is supposed to be blind, so she should not be able to judge through the lens of religious bias or social convention.  She should not see that it is a couple of men or a couple of women or two men and one woman or one man and two women or any other relationship that people want to enter into.  The issue is the protection of rights, not to control what marriage is defined as.  That should be left to the people in that relationship; not the state, or even the church.See the source image Of course, if it were up to me, I would abolish marriage licenses and leave the definition of it to the people involved and if they want it to be a legal relationship – go see an attorney and draw up the contract. If you want a religious ceremony go see the officiant but the state in no way should be involved in the first place. In my mind, this is the only way to achieve equality.  As long as the government is involved people can gain control and determine the definition of what marriage is.  This is what causes inequality.

People will always try to control the government so they can control the agenda of marriage.  The best way to avoid this is to give the government no power at all other than to enforce contracts, which it already has through the courts, and provide protection for the people who enter those relationships of their own free will in their own way.

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My two cents.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Pack Mentality” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 16

Happy Thor’s Day!

Rogue Wizard’s Journal – September 10th, 2019

Well, it’s been a helluva three days.  Time to write a report of sorts so I can collect my thoughts about it all.

Amber got better and after a day, she had no symptoms of lycanthropy at all.  Apparently, our ‘sexual healing’ sessions have worked and I have transferred my antibodies to her.  Not that we have stopped the sessions.  What is it about sex that we human beings find so addicting given its two potential consequences are so long term.  Of course, now that this Trois love triangle is complete, it actually has had a few Trois sessions of lovemaking.  I don’t know about this sometimes, but we all seem happy about it and Amber is back up being who she was before.

This whole thing has made me realize that the cure for lycanthropy is right in the whole sexual magic thing.  In mage circles, it could literally spread by sexual activity.  I doubt however it would happen because it is outside the box thinking and The council has never been good at that but also it involves a much more open definition of relationships that are emotional and loving. It would require a lot of polyamory and even jumps across those boundaries of sexual mores.

The other issue is where the werewolf came from and we didn’t have to look very far for that one. Lunette shrunk down and put on her leaf clothes and took her tiny dagger and using her illusion magic, did a scout run. For my part, while she was away I set up my wards both on the cabin and sauna bathhouse as well as the path between the two. Anything gets too close and not only would it go off like an alarm in my head but some of my wards turned the crosser into fireballs if they were magical in nature.

This has been good because it has set all of our minds at ease about being surprised again.  So the sauna bath, skinny dipping has resumed.  The sauna bath is now getting used for more than bathing activity now but still we get clean in the end and cooled off in the lake before coming back to the cabin.

We are still all on edge a little.  The werewolf has done one thing for sure and that is it makes us a little more aware of what is going on around us.  Today though Lunette returned from her scouting run, and after taking off her leaves, grows back to normal size.  She was back a little early and that’s when she reported that she found the lair of the werewolves.  A little cabin of their own about five miles away.  She figured there were still five of them.  Most of them were sleeping when she had been there, but there had been one on guard duty and being a werewolf was quite alert.

We now know where they are, and our own little pack is ready for some wolf hunting. I like wolves normally and werewolves, when they are first werewolves, are still pretty much themselves. It the slow rot of the human side of them that makes them dangerous. Some can hold this off for decades but it is inevitable in the end that they become feral.

Our plan is to attack them tomorrow during the day.  This doesn’t necessarily make them weaker just werewolves are usually up all night because they are the moon’s children.  They stay up in the early and later parts of the day much like most people do with the night.  If we hit them in the middle of the day, the element of surprise might help us even the odds at first.  We are all in agreement about what needs to be done which is eliminate them.  We have our own pack mentality.

I have my concerns though.  This is going to draw attention. Attention that we don’t need.  However, if they discover where we are and that we killed one of their own, they will be out for blood.  Their pack mentality demands vendetta and revenge.  Better to attack them first than wait for them to attack us.

Hopefully, there will be another journal entry tomorrow.

Writer’s Notes: 

While I haven’t written on this, people might be asking me a personal question right about now.  Would you actually ever be a part of a polyamorous relationship?  The answer is ‘yes’. But not presently.  My wife and I are under vows which involve exclusivity which I honor because of my belief in Fidelity and Honor so I keep my vows based on this. Now understand as an atheist/agnostic type, the fact those vows were made before ‘God’ does not matter anymore to me,  What matters is my own word and keeping it as much as possible regardless when that word was given.  

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That said, as a libertarian and now free thinker, I think marriage and the whole licensing and vows things is both unnecessary and a con job.  It is mostly done for religious control reasons, legal reasons (which could be handled by a lawyer and a contract instead) and the states attempt to take rights from you and then make money licensing them back to you. That’s right folks, there is nothing that says I love and trust you like getting the state and religion to give their nod that it is Ok for you to be in a relationship with each other (sarcasm flag). Sorry, you can live with each other, have sex and have children and none of that requires a license or shouldn’t.  The commitment to each other thing is going to be what it is regardless of license, vows or rings.  

But getting back to the personal question, I think it is good for a person to get rid of things like jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to another person. It seems to me that you are getting closer to unconditional love when you do that.  If such love is even possible. So yes I would, but right now I am under my own virtues of honor and fidelity to love only one woman – my wife.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Polyamory” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Orientation

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Discussion:

Polyamory is an interesting topic because it calls into question the need for societal mores in relationship to romance and sex. I have looked at the subjects of polygamy in the Bible and other related issues and came to the conclusion that from a Biblical point of view as long as everyone was in a marriage relationship and there was no homosexual activity, the Bible allowed for it. But now that I would say the Bible is out and I am looking for a more rational viewpoint of romance and relationships in sexual content.  Along these lines there are only three considerations: 1) Is is consensual, 2) have reasonable precautions been implemented, 3) Are the people involved emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle the relationship.  See the source image

Polyamory is pretty much about the consensual sex and romance with multiple partners.  Unlike many relationships that are multi individual in nature, this is out in the open and everyone agrees to it.  There is no ignorance and no one is being forced to be a part of it and no one is being placed in a position where they have to hide anything. It is really the way freedom should be in that there are no restrictions and no secrets. Polyamory passes the first test as that is the point of it – multiple consensual relationships without secrets.

The second issue is that of reasonable precautions being taken.  The two main issues are STDs and pregnancy.  In reading a majority of practitioners of polyamorous relationships the STD question is part of the reason they desire openness as far as no secrets and this means everyone gets to talk about it and when someone new is brought in they have a lot of questions and those in such relationship tend to stay in a prescribed circle because it is more than just them they are protecting.  In any case, the whole point is to establish a boundary and stay within it even though the relationship is polyamorous.  Letting someone in that boundary is a group decision and that’s a pretty effective protection against STDs.

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In the case of pregnancy what you read is pretty much either the whole group takes responsibility for the children if they happen or everyone agrees it is group decision as well to open up the possibility if one of the girls wants to get pregnant.  Until then the girl needs to be responsible for her own reproductive system and quite frankly in the modern western world, there is really no excuse for an unwanted pregnancy anymore.  There really isn’t and that means the statement “My body; my choice” comes with the counter – “Your choice, your responsibility.”  In any case, from the standpoint of polyamory, this is another group discussion.

If you are starting to get the idea that communication has to be very high in these kinds o relaitonships I would say ‘correct’.  It shows people in such relationships have to meet the final criteria of being emotionally mature enough to handle the fact that you are loved by many and love many.  Jealousy, control, and envy can’t really be present. You have to be happy when you are being loved by someone and when they love someone else. You have to love the love you receive and get and are also loving enough to let others love each other.

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More directly, you have to be Ok with the fact that the guy or gall you had sex with that night could be having sex with someone else in the relationship that morning.  While you could make love to another person that same morning. The sexual options are one of the main reasons that people get in these relationships and most of the polyamorous writers I have read don’t believe that humans are naturally monogamous.  That reality accepted they simply are being honest in the relationship they have entered.

I put this under sexual orientation for the simple reason that is it possible that some people are sexually oriented to be open lovers?  To be people who can love many people and make love to many people without being possessive or close-minded or even manipulative?  Is it possible that one sexual orientation is a ‘natural lover’?  I have to think it is possible and I can’t see any reason to think evil of such people because of it.

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I guess the honesty of this type of relationship is a step up by quite a bit from the sneaking around and cheating that is also polyamorous but no one but the cheater is aware of it. That is far more dangerous and disastrous than a group of people who say ‘let’s just set all the secrecy aside and be open about the fact all of us love more than one person here’.  It is the consent and agreement to the simple idea that some people are romantically and sexually capable of loving more than one person at once, and that is entirely OK and you don’t have to stop doing it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Werewolf” – Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 14

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal September 4th, 2019

A lot has happened this last week, but the events of today prompt me to turn to my journal here for encapsulating the big picture a little better. In summary form, we were attacked today by a werewolf.  Both Amber and I were bitten in the struggle.  No biggie for me as I am immune due to Mrs. W’s magic from a long time ago.  I have antibodies of a magical kind against lycanthropy.

Amber is a different story. I am a little distraught as Amber is starting to be someone who is important to me and some I am starting to love.  The bite for her could end up being full-blown lycanthropy.  If that happens our already complicated situation will get even more complicated.

After the skinny dipping discussion, which I relayed the last time, our lives had settled into a routine. This last week we only broke that to head into town again together.  We stocked up on food again, this time taking all three of our empty backpacks and each of us ended up carrying a couple bags in each hand.  This time we were seen by a couple more people which made me a little nervous.  I mean how many magical types do you think would be attracted to the relative seclusion of the wilderness of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan?  We got home and put everything away.

If one wonders where we get the resources and money, remember Lunette’s family is an old one and that both Amber and I have access to magical means.  I mean technically, Lunette could make blank pieces of paper look like money, but it is really not necessary. In my case, House Venus gave me a lot of money and set up a very secure and secret account.  It’s not the money for us, it is accessing it without the wrong people noticing.

After that, we settled into a very domestic routine.  I am up before the girls so I make breakfast after doing a little meditation, stretching and writing. The smell of food brings them to life and then we spend the morning each doing our own thing. I study, Lunette does some alchemy and Amber does a lot of practicing with the fireplace as far as fine-tuning her fire skills. Lunch is made by Lunette and then we begin the afternoon session of doing things together like reading a book together, playing games (we have Uno, Payday and Monopoly plus a chess, checkers, and backgammon set)  or talking. Amber fixes supper at some point as she is the best cook among us.  Then we begin the evening ritual of heading to the sauna and taking a bath, then doing a little skinny dipping. At the end of the day, we are on the couch in front of the fireplace.

This last week has had one noticeable change.  Before Amber and I would often wear t-shirts and underwear as a gesture of modesty toward each other.  Lunette, of course, being pixie had no problem being her nudist self right from the beginning. But now that things are out in the open, nudism for all of us seems more the order of the day from start to finish.  There have been some weather issues where this has been discarded briefly, but for the most part, we eat, work, play, bathe and relax in the buff now.

My relationship with Amber, as mentioned before had gone up a bit in the realm of romance and love. A couple nights ago when skinny dipping I was watching her and then as we were getting ready to walking back, I gave my traditional kiss to Lunette and then without thinking I kissed Amber with the same intensity.  She smiled afterward and then kissed me back again. I have to say walking naked in the woods with your arm around the waist of two women is a wonderful experience.

I haven’t had sex with her yet, but I don’t think that is her being resistant – it is me still coming to terms with this whole relationship situation.  Of course, tonight’s events have changed things significantly for the worse.

Tonight the ritual was interrupted during the skinny dipping stage by a savage growl.  For my part, my shield went up around all three of us but it was a little late and the werewolf got inside. His jaws clamped around my right arm so my flame didn’t get a chance. She was fast.  Yes, the werewolf was a she, I got a good look at her and it only takes basic anatomy to figure it out.  I dropped my shield and using my left hand I used a burning hands on the werewolf and it howled falling back. I fell back into the water and was disoriented.

Amber at this point was full-on fire girl and the werewolf snapped at the flames but then launched itself at Amber and got its jaws on her shoulder and slashed her backward with its claws. Amber fell in heap near the shore.  At this point, Lunette saved the day doing her shrink down and energy pinball thing. She was hitting the werewolf so fast and continuously it finally turned tail and ran. We were not the easy prey it was expecting.  By this time I was back in the game and sent a fireball after it when it struck the howl that filled the forest was defining and then the werewolf collapsed burning.  It was dead in seconds, and then I turned my attention to Amber.

She had slash marks across her belly that looked nasty but hadn’t penetrated her insides. The real danger was the bite mark on her shoulder. Lycanthropy is transmitted this way.  She was also unconscious and wasn’t responding to our attempts to wake her. We picked her up and quickly headed to the house. Lunette and I bandaged her wounds and got her into bed.  Eventually, she came back and smiled at both of us.  She said all the wounds hurt, of course, but no bones seemed broken which was a good thing.  We ordered her to get some rest.

Lunette and I know the stakes here.  We have been here before but Mrs. W died a couple years ago and her cure of lycanthropy was lost with her.  Lunette and I also know werewolves run in packs and are not going to take kindly to one of their own being killed. Without intending to we might have angered a whole pack of werewolves and that is not good. Amber right now is sleeping comfortably, but if she starts having night terrors and sweating a lot and is feverish, those are the first signs of lycanthropy. Lunette I can tell is very worried and I am too.

Right now all we can do is watch Amber and stay vigilant.

Writer’s Notes:

I made the remark about this series that it needs to end soon.  Soon in writer terms, and writing one post a week, means it will probably be late November or early December.

From a social point of view, my views on nudism even as a Christina have always been positive even though at the time I was not a practitioner.  Leaving Christianity and faith in God have kind of changed all that in some ways. I have a very open-minded view these days to nudity being simply nudity and not sinful or evil. I also have become a very private practitioner when I am home alone. I find it relaxing.

As for the developing relationship between Edward, Lunette, and Amber. I can’t really see a problem with it as sin and evil in relationships don’t really exist anymore for me. I think if people can love one another, use some reasonable precautions, avoid jealousy and figure out a way to live in such polyamory style relationships, that is great and it is their business, not mine. Whether it would be something for me is I suppose a question, but a lot would have to change for me right now for it to even be a question that affects my real life. Theoretically, I would be open to it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!