poems

So What Will I Be Writing Here?

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

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Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day!

Coming back after such a long hiatus has actually been a wonderful feeling for me. But at the same time, it leaves many questions for you, the gentle reader, and me. Mostly, what am I going to write now that I am back?

In the past, this was an everyday blog with different styles or topics of posts for each day, but I no longer think I want to do that. I simply don’t have that kind of time. I am also learning more and more what my autistic brain likes and dislikes. If I were to explain it, on the one hand, I like routine and order to things, but on the other hand, if I feel that it goes beyond my own free choices or is more expected of me, I tend to rebel a little to that, and it becomes a drag. I am now sure that a lot of my desire for autonomy stems from this autistic defiance, sometimes of even my own unconscious defiance of my own plans. I am still scratching the surface of this issue, so forgive me if it doesn’t make sense, and I could be wrong.

So then, practically, if I want to write regularly and have a routine to it, what am I going to write that will allow me to do that? Let’s just stick to ‘the what’ for now. How is something I might have to be both flexible and routine about, which I want to talk about data later time.

  1. Poems – Despite the smaller tweak of pain I get from a broken heart every time I write one, I also get this sense of emotional expression and relief from writing poems that I find beneficial.
  2. Short Stories – Short stories are always experiments with new characters, concepts, genres, etc. But sometimes, they are good stand-alone posts.
  3. Essays – I do have thoughts on things, but I will say that on The Grey Wayfarer, two topics will probably not be discussed – religion and politics. I have other places to express those.
  4. Fiction Series – I love doing series, and I actually have an idea for a new one that might be like some others I have done with no clear end in sight. plus a few others.
  5. Journaling – Occasional – ‘where am I’ posts help me a lot.

My ultimate goal is therapy and feeling even better. But you never know when good writing project that might get published will come up.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Black Dried Salty Tears – A Poem

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

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Black Dried Salty Tears – Poem

Black

Poison, Night, Your Heart

Dried

Corpse, Riverbed, Winter Leaves

Salty

Soil, Bitterness, My Wounds

Tears

Of Sorrow, Of Regret, Of Lost Love

Writers Notes:

There are a lot of firsts in this post – It’s the first post after a long hiatus where I have been growing my YouTube Channel – The Rabyd Atheist, and trying to put my life together since discovering a lot of things about myself. I note some of the last writing I did was about my autism discovery and all that goes with it. It’s been a bit, but that part has opened more understanding of myself, and I deal with life more positively, and depression (referred to on this blog as ‘The Grey’) is much more manageable now. Not much has changed otherwise, but I am happier and my mental health is more manageable.

But I have missed writing. My favorite form of therapy is writing. Turning thoughts and feelings into poems, stories, and essays has been missing, and I feel now that on other fronts are better, maybe, just maybe, writing might take me to even better states of mind.

I also feel that I am expanding who I am on other fronts.

YouTuber – yes.

Influencer – Yes.

Writer -?

I feel it is time to genuinely add this one.

This poem, like all my poems, comes with a cost of writing. That throbbing of a wound made seven years ago by someone I loved very much, only to discover it was just a game to them. But she taught me to write better poems, and so I feel that was something positive that came out of the relationship. I just wish the scar she left on my heart would stop stinging when I write a poem.

This poem, in particular, was my recent exploration of how I now feel about this relationship after seven years of no contact. It was also my first use of a style of poem I haven’t used before. Single words followed by a list of others that the first word is a descriptor for, although I changed it up on the last one. Other than the form, I don’t think this one requires explanation.

Glad to be Back.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!