Nudism

“Naked Before Who?” – Odin’s Eye – The Grey Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day.    

Discussion:

On May 17, 2013, I wrote this post: Naked Before God – Part 1 – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness.  It was the first post in a series of posts called Naked Before God.  At the time, I was trying to reconcile some findings I had found in my biblical study of nakedness and current Christian practice and its perception of nudity. At the end of that post, I reflected on six positive spiritual aspects of nudity.  Vulnerability, Openness, Intimacy, Genuineness, Wholeness, and Equality.

Those qualities are very spiritual when you think about them as they go to the core of who we are and how we perceive ourselves in relationship to others and the world.  Of course, the problem with this series of posts now; for me personally, is what do I mean about the word ‘God’?

I personally still find being an at-home nudist beneficial.  I am actually quite private about it with no real exhibitionist tendencies being introverted as I am.  That said, I am as comfortable in my own skin as I am in clothes.  Actually sometimes more comfortable because of the spiritual qualities I outlined so long ago still remain true despite my change in faith/religion/spirituality. My issue is redefining how this means to me spiritually.  The change is not the spiritual qualities of nudity so much as the notion that the Christian god is the one I am naked before is no longer true to me.

I suppose this is going to take some time and meditation to redefine, but the problem seems to be that some of these spiritual qualities are dependent on there being some divine force to be naked in front of in the first place. There is also the issue of whether such a divine force gives as shit cares about it.  Yet, I feel at these times that I have spiritual peace or at least a better possibility of spiritual peace than at others.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I know it sounds strange, but I feel that my faith in myself grows in my times of spiritual meditation and part of that is connected to the fact I meditate in the nude. All the spiritual qualities combine at the time. I am open to the universe around me and vulnerable to it. I can see myself for who I truly am (genuineness) – equal to every other man and woman.  There is a non-sexual feeling of intimacy with myself and the world I don’t experience otherwise. I am the whole and true me and me alone.  This faith or whatever you want to call it has lead to a lot of inner healing for me. To those of you out there who practice ‘magic’, is this magic?

Religion:

Of course, I have to from time to time shuck off the shackles of my former religion which trains people to be ashamed of being naked.  I now believe this is what leads to a lot of body image problems and poor self-image problems for people. There was a fear developed in me from an early age by my past religion that if I was naked I should be ashamed of it, my body and being naked automatically lead to sexual sinful thoughts. None of this is objectively true, but if you are going to dominate and manipulate a person, engaging in shaming people for who they are in truth is a good start.  Nudity and sex are great targets for this.  I don’t buy any of it anymore but the indoctrination still has a few things that cause irrational fear that I have to throw off.

Theology:

It is interesting that in pagan theology, there seem to be a lot less moral codes about nakedness.  If anything, there is at worst neutrality about the subject, or at best blatant positivity about its benefits.  The naked pagan walking in the woods is probably a common and an accepted image.  We are human and come into this world naked.  It is our most natural state and foundational spiritual state, and so it is considered beneficial by most.  Whatever power that be that made/evolved us, doesn’t seem to mind our nakedness, so why should we.

Spirituality:

If there is a spiritual challenge to nudity for me now it is twofold. 1) The dumping of artificial man-made social mores that no longer apply to me.  2) Coming to terms with the fact there is a call in my heart to more social nudism.  The first I find it easier every day I spend in the buff doing normal and everyday things. The second is the simple fact that much of the spiritual qualities I have outlined that nudity possesses are incomplete without others to experience them with you. It is a value shift for me that is probably been long in coming, considering how long I have been addressing the subject of spiritual nudity. It isn’t a question of spiritual negativity anymore for me, but a practical question.

Conclusion:

The main question of this post still remains as to who I am naked in front of anymore. If not god, then who.? Do such powers even care? Mostly I think I am naked with myself and coming to terms with the fact that I am very comfortable with it and becoming more so every day. It is a part of my daily at-home activities particularly when I am alone. Only time will tell if I gain a more spiritual understanding of myself and the people and world around me as a result.  There is a part of my journey that now involves walking this path.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Paganism: Nudism and Sexuality

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

In my Christian blogging day I made quite a name for myself among nudists, naturists, and people of like nature when it came to the subject of nudity and sex.  My view back then was nudity being sinful in and of itself was false.  I have a few online friends who are my friends precisely because of this view and they maintain a Christian nudist lifestyle.  My most famous work from that blog is probably The Bible and Nakedness which you can still view by clicking on the link above.

In addition, I had some controversial views on marriage and sexuality.  Most notably that the bible never condemns polygamy of either form.  That adultery and homosexuality are the same levels of ‘sin’. I proposed that line marriage as proposed by Robert Heinlein is still well within the realms of Christianity, etc.  Mostly I simply separated that which is cultural from that which was the bible and discovered that most of what Christians believe about nudity and sexuality was based more on culture than the Bible.

So what has changed now that I follow a more deistic, humanistic and paganistic path? Honestly, once you take out sin and the appeal to authority; and as I reflect back to the holiday discussion last week, I have the following observations:

  1. Nudity being wrong in some way is pure Grade A opinion and based on cultural mores, not rational thought.  In truth, there is no basis for morality laws regarding nudity or modesty as they are simply one ethical viewpoint imposing itself on everyone else.  There is simply no way to prove a man or woman walking down the street naked is harmful to anyone using reason.
  2. Sexuality has many biological factors and I don’t really support the notion of gender neutrality or fluidity because of genetic and biological reality. There are two genetic and biological genders and it is rare for anyone to be born with none or both.  Most of us are either female or male biologically and those differences are biologically and psychologically observable right from birth.  That’s science, not culture talking. The video below is well researched and linked and points out these are real differences, not culture.
  3. I would say the real problem is not gender identification but rather a lack of personal gender acceptance. It is part of accepting yourself to accept your biological gender. Sorry, most of us either have a penis or a vagina and we need to accept that part of us as part of who we are, not fight it.
  4. That said, I think a lot of role expectations are culturally based, and given my views of liberty, I think gender roles beyond what is biologically natural are often just societal and religious coercion.  How a woman wants to view her role in society is her own business and the same for a man. If a woman wants to be female and do what her culture traditionally thinks is the role of a man, she is perfectly free to do so and she should be allowed to do it.

Of course, the real question looking at it from a pagan point of view is how nudity and sexuality express themselves on the spiritual front.  This reflects more of my pagan opinion than my deism or humanism but they both chime in on this discussion.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I have faith that there is male and female and we can observe that both of these are real, different and beautiful in their naked expressions.  For me, the faith question here is that I think the human body has inspired my spirituality far more than made me feel guilty or ‘sinful’.  What made me feel sinful about the whole thing was the fact that people told me I should be and if I didn’t there was something wrong with me.  In cultures where nudity is common and prevalent, you never hear of this guilt about nakedness to being male or female. Faith tells me that being male, female or naked is nothing to be ashamed of at all. The real problem is not our maleness, femaleness or nakedness, it’s people who want to use those things to promote an agenda.

Religion:

In the area of defining gender roles and demonizing nudity, religion takes center stage.  The Abrahamic religions being the most notorious for the definition of traditional male and female roles according to an ethic that is thousands of years old based on a patriarchal, male superiority mindset. The question I have always wrestled with is why women put up with this but I think ultimately it is the appeal to authority and not wanting to displease ‘god’ that drives it, but then again I have watched as those roles get redefined all the time to reflect reality.  If the various scriptures that are the claims for God’s authority are discredited as simply concoctions of men, then women should be free to follow their own personal sovereignty.

Religion and nudity go way back and some religions are pagan enough in scope that they don’t have a problem with it. Those that do often use their holy books to justify it.  The one problem I developed was that on the one hand, I knew what the religious folks said about nudity being wrong, but my own biblical studies concluded the opposite.  When that happens you start to realize that most of the concerns about the human naked form are based on personal preference and culture, not honest biblical studies.  Religion simply seeks to control people by taking those personal preferences and forcing them on others.

Theology:

My theology these days is based in large part on what is the reality of the world that is.  I don’t engage in fanciful notions about the divine.  I believe in the divine more than I don’t because of notions like love and beauty being something more than biology and physics. That is based on observation from my point of view so take them for that.  When it comes to sexuality I find there is a great design in having two sexes and their need to cooperate as fellow human beings.  Treating each other as justly as possible while respecting differences starts in accepting ourselves as men and women and accepting our differences because of sex.  Glorying in those differences not condemning each other because of them.

Because I don’t believe in sin anymore and dismiss it as a human made up concept, I simply do not see anything inherently wrong with the nude human form. I kind of laugh at our responses to this as we seem to have a greater amount of problems with sex and nudity than violence where people are actually raped and murdered. It’s a sad thing really that something as beautiful and wonderful as sex and the human body has been demonized so that both are considered evil and sinful based on opinions designed to control others. I don’t have that anymore and my attitude toward both is pretty much based on George R R Martin’s below. To me, sex and the beauty of nude human form have given me as much joy as a good painting, book or any other art form and it is a crying shame that most religion and theology rob us of that.

Spirituality:

I draw a lot of spirituality these days from this freedom.  I posted this picture on the pagan pulpit this last Sun’s Day:

Image may contain: 1 person, outdoor, text and nature

For me, it reflects a lot of my changed attitude toward these subjects.  I think the look on the man’s face says it all. The topless woman hasn’t caused him to be a lustful pervert, but she has brightened his day a little by being topless. She isn’t a slut for doing so either, Just a woman taking a walk who is comfortable in her skin. Males and females being themselves and doing what they do without coercing each other to do something they don’t want to do.  No sexual pressure, but there is a sexual expression that is being enjoyed by the man as he sees it and the woman as she does it.

Personally, I find that my liberation from ‘sin’ has been wonderful in both these areas.  I can appreciate good art and writings were the questions fo sexuality and nudity are seriously discussed and beautifully presented.  No appeal to authority jumps in to ruin it.  I now very freely accept that I am a man and I’m heterosexual and enjoy both of those parts of who I am.  So I enjoy the female form and there is nothing wrong with it. While there are certain biological factors in being a man, I don’t accept any societal roles about being a man that is forced on me.  I embrace those I wish to and nothing more.

I feel comfortable in my skin as much as in any clothes I wear. The questions of nudity for me are more about how to avoid being arrested for being freer than others accept, not calling down judgment on others for not sharing mine.  My paganism treats my nudity and that of others as a natural thing not abnormal. Naked is our natural form and represents who we are in truth.  Everything else is an add on.

I draw a lot of spiritual insight and strength from accepting these things and living in these freedoms.

Conclusion:

I doubt society will change with a wave of our hands.  Religion will continue to ruin and pervert sexuality through the forcing of gender roles.  It will continue to demonize the beautiful and seek to cover it over to hide it. Control is the objective of religion through defining roles and social mores.  All of it is bullshit, but it is bullshit we have to live with because of laws that threaten, coerce and engage in fraud to control others.

The best we pagans can do most of the time is to live our lifestyle expressing the truths of real sexuality and nudism when we can.  On the nudism side, some (like myself) find their answer in practicing nudism secretly, while others carve out places in the world to practice it freely without society’s prying eyes. In any case, being the man or woman you want to be is possible without secrecy in the western world at least.  Just be prepared for the backlash of not fitting in with your specific expression of your gender either male or female.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Forks in the Road (Part 1)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

This week I want to concentrate on some of the future decisions I am going to need to make very soon.  Forks in the road for The Grey Wayfarer.  When it comes to my Foundational Level this is more about my general purpose for my life,  What is the overall plan.  Business is how I handle others, and Self is of course about how I handle myself.  Foundational forks in the road are about principles I live by at all times.

The most significant change in my life in the last year was my departure from my faith which significantly changed my life both in my profession and my personal life. MY new ‘faith’ has been somewhat a question I wrestle with a lot. The one thing the Nine Noble Virtues has done for me, it has kept my life at a foundational level somewhat stable to go forward. That said every day is a challenge regarding ethical and moral decisions and that is what the foundational virtues are all about as I go forward on the path.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Whatever path I take these days I want it to be an honorable one.  I want it to be something that as I walk that path, there is a feeling of inner value in what I am doing.  in a recent conversation with a friend, he asked me how the job search was going.  Oddly enough I didn’t refer to a business virtue for the answer but this concept of Honor. I want something that fits that gives my life meaning and value to myself. Where I can better recognize honor in others, once I possess it for myself.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

I am finding when Courage is needed in any decision, it is more about following my intuition than what I see.  I know you would think as an INFJ personality type, I would do this automatically, but actually, that makes you second guess yourself a lot instead of following your instincts.  I need to make a lot more decisions following my instincts.  They are far more often right than wrong. It is one thing to logically look at things and see the Truth of the situation, but at the same time what is right is often not a matter of logic.  Doing the right thing at the right time is about a soul-deep decision that is more about guts than brains.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Now, this is not to say logic and reason don’t have a lot to do with my decisions.  What I find Truth does – it defines what decisions are relevant and possible.  It doesn’t make the decisions necessarily, but it helps me define what decisions need to be made and what benefits I can perceive through the Truth that each of those decisions has or might have.  It is how mostly I see the path and the choices before me.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Which of my choices follows the most loving path? It is one of my three questions I ask at each decision point. Each fork in the road starts with this question of what is the most loving thing to do? There are two others that I will get to under Justice and Wisdom, but this one is usually the first. The thing I have to remember is the first person I need to love so I can love others, is myself.  I have long neglected this part of love and I have made a commitment to ask the questions of self-love these days.  It is starting to become more foundational and that is a good thing.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I need to focus on this again and I think Stretching is going to come back after meditation. Mostly I miss stretching every morning in the nude. It was not only a physically relaxing thing to do but a spiritual one as well.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – My Minimalism

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I practice minimalism and it is no accident that when I coupled things for discussion under Of Wolves and Ravens, Minimalism with Self-Reliance are together.  Minimalism forces you to be more reliant on yourself and less on stuff for happiness.  It also leads to a greater prosperity that allows you to be more self-reliant because you are not wasting resources (time and money) on things you don’t need or things that don’t make you happy.

I will probably be going though all my stuff one more time once the semester is over and I can imagine some more of it is going to the garbage heap.  Right now, I could pack up everything I personally own in less than a day to move. My wife is a different story, but if it was just me, I could be out the door fairly quickly.  Philosophically this leads to a greater freedom and forms a building tool for the virtue of self-reliance.

There are few of my life behaviors that I would say are a reflection of minimalism:

  1. Hiking.  I really am considering buying over time the basic load out I will need for a day hike and then an overnight hike. When you do that, the question of what you need is very important, because you don’t want to be schlepping anything you don’t need, because it expends more energy than you want.  Lot of life lessons in that too.
  2. Routine. My whole process of journaling, routines  and blogging keeps me focused on what I need and want so I don’t waste time on something that is ultimately useless to me.
  3. Nudism – I have to say there is nothing more minimalist that being a home nudist.  Cuts down on the need for laundry.  But also I really look at my closet and say do I need this or does this make me happy?  When you just as happy in your skin as you are in your favorite shirt, that changes how you perceive that question.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

Minimalism really causes you to ask the question what you really need. Food and Water.  yep.  Shelter from dangerous elements at times. Other than that, needs of a social and psychological variety are very flexible.  Minimalism is definitely a needed tool for finding prosperity. As it focuses you resources instead of wasting them.

Wants (Freki):

Minimalism also has taught me to focus my efforts in identifying my wants and then picking things that actually get me closer to them.  I am very conscious of wasting my time on things that don’t matter or my money on things I know will only be temporary in their happiness and then will collect dust. I don’t spend my money on that stuff very much anymore.

Reason (Huginn):

Fat wolves can’t fight.  Need and Want are important but Reason tells me to feed them only what they need and not be wasteful because lean times come eventually. Minimalism prepares you for those lean times two ways.  One, you often have the things you need to get through them because you haven’t been wasteful in the first place.  Two, you learn that you can live without a lot.  Your survival mindset is better.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I have a found a lot of joy in simplicity thanks to minimalism.  Joy in being free from the desire to possess.  There is a wisdom to being in a position where you have what you need and what you truly want and nothing more. This makes life much better.  You can make good decisions and are not affected so much about other people’ perspectives of you.  Waste is foolish and minimalism allows you to recognize that point and stay away from it.

Conclusion:

I had a particularly minimalism moment the other day.  I was sitting at home alone in my skin and writing a blog article.  I felt at peace.  It is a rare feeling but made possible in part by the fact that without a lot of stuff to worry about, I have fewer worries. Minimalism helped bring me that moment.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 7 – Painful Revelations

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 14th, 2019 (cont.)

I found my clothes on a table just outside the room and a couple of towels.  I was still a little wet from whatever process they had washed me off with, so I dried off. and then started getting dressed. It was then that I felt eyes watching me.  The Lioness of course and two other individuals – Lunette and Raven.

“Now all you ladies have me at a disadvantage.  You have now all seen me in the buff, but other than Lunette in middle school, I have not seen any of you in your natural state. Any takers?  No?  Well, excuse me.”

The three of them seemed a little self-conscious, so they looked away as best they could but I continued to catch glances.  I smiled.  Underwear, t-shirt with workout saying, socks, jeans, hiking boots, necklace with Valknut symbol, wedding band, sweatshirt hoodie with local university on front.

“Mr. Raby, do you use enchantments at all?”

“No, not yet anyway.  Never had he need, always focused my studies on how magic in and of itself could help me.  Enchantments are nice to have but they can be taken from you, if you lose what is enchanted.”

“You could do an enchanted tattoo”, Raven suggested.

“Yes, I could.  Combination of alchemy and enchantment and attached to my skin.  Might be worth considering.  Speaking of alchemy, nice bit of work there Lunette with the lipstick.”

Lunette looked down at her feet.

“Can I ask if the alchemy works on everyone, or it was just targeted to me?”

“Targeted. made the formula from a lock of you hair I took back in middle school.  I was surprised the formula hadn’t gone inert, but it was still active.”

“Shit knocked me out fast, figured it was targeted.  That long ago?  What was the occasion?”

“That day when we were freshmen in High School. When you grabbed my arm when I was being a bitch to you.  You basically told me to back down and I was pissed about it.  Wanted a weapon to target you.”

I nodded. I remember that day.  I said something to the effect that I was like crack cocaine to her, so she was vulnerable to me and needed to knock off the snotty bitch thing. Enough reminiscing, need information.

“Well, ladies what happened to the Red Tree Grove? Best theories please.”

Lunette spoke first.

“She must have decided to leave and give up immortality. Only thing that fits.  She didn’t pick a replacement, so her power simply diffused. The protective power was gone about ten years ago, so I went inside. The tree was still alive but barely.  Those three scars you helped heal.  Someone had opened them up again. Given that she was the only one living there at the time, she might have done it herself.”

“Well fuck.  Yeah, trying to break her addiction completely.  No tree, no drug. Where do you think she went?”

This time the Lioness spoke.

“We don’t think she kept her physical form.  We think she went completely spirit form.  It would allow her to possess any female she wanted, and keep a long life possible for her.  She could move from female to female and occupy them. Use them as hosts to live for a long time. Then move on.  Only problem is that every time she would switch she would lose a part of herself.”

“Any leads on that?”

“One, you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, the woman you had an affair with? She might have been one of them.  Highly likely.”

This stunned me for a minute, then.  Of course it would explain how could she have connected with me so well and so quickly and how I also had changed in my thoughts about her.  I mean up until February she was just another woman in the congregation, then that all changed.

“How much control would she have had? Over her host I mean?”

Raven spoke this time.

“Only when it was truly needed, she would be too weak otherwise.  Indirect influence most likely. The woman had her own choices, but perhaps there was a nudge from Elpis.”

I cringed at the name.

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, it’s OK. I have been running from this too long. I suppose it was inevitable that both Elpis and Miss Salty would be mentioned. Time to quite avoiding and face what they were to me.  Both loves of mine and lost.”

“I guess I would fall in that category too.”, Lunette injected. Sad tone in her voice too.

“Yes, you would and my wife now that she has been killed by the Council. I don’t have any loves that are not lost in some way now. I’m alone.”

Those last two words hung there for a minute.  Like a diagnoses of cancer said aloud. Lunette seemed a little pained by it.

Raven spoke first, “You might find love again.”

“Right now, I don’t want it.  It hurts too much; too risky.  Need to mourn my wife for a bit yet.  Promised myself, if she died I would mourn her for at least six months. It’s only been a couple. I honored our Christian vows when we got back together, would have continued if she had lived. I don’t really have that view anymore so my next love, if there is one, would have different rules.”

I turned to face all of them.

“OK, the only thing left for me is family. They will be in danger as long as I am alive.  What’s the plan?  What do you want me to do?”

Writer’s Notes: 

I know, I broke my initial rule about mentioning Elpis and Miss Salty. But it is time I faced down my real life actions and dealt with the emotions of this whole thing. 

For a long time when it comes to fiction I have been struggling to find some inspiration and I think it is because I have been avoiding this issue of late.  I need a new motivation, a new muse to write for. Instead I have been dealing with The Grey that results from emotional constipation. I think laying things out there ends the bullshit at least and now things can get flowing again.  Like an enema for my emotions. Gross but accurate.  

I write fiction from emotion.  It is definitely a more heart then through the mind thing.  Non-fiction is the other way around, so it is easier.  This last week has been me struggling to get past this and I think I have some relief at this point.  Still some things to work out, but I feel for the first time I can write at least a little more freely when it comes to fiction.  Hopefully I am right.  If I am, you all should be seeing more fiction from me very soon. 

Practically for this series, it eliminates the past almost completely for my alter ego. His decision to fake his death would mean; at least for a time, he would be walking alone and too busy for a relationship.  Not saying there won’t be something in the future, but for now love is going to be kept at arm’s length.

In real life, my wife (alive and well) and I have made a strong commitment to make our relationship work.  There are some more obstacles because of my change of faith and my attitude about a lot of things in general has changed as well, but we work on them.  It has been hard at times, but for he most part we are a loving couple again. 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 6 – Pixie Trouble (2)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 14th, 2019 (cont.)

As I regained consciousness, I cursed myself for once again falling to the power of a cute face. How often does this have to happen before you realize that some women are fucking with you?  Sorry, that is a rhetorical question. Probably as long as men follow the wrong head’s advice.  I quickly put this aside and tried to remember the last moments before consciousness left me and realized that my wards had not gone off.  No magic was used by Lunette. So that left alchemy.  Shit.  No way to detect that. Lips coated with a alchemical knock out drug.  Bitch.  Something else to guard against.

I quickly switched to assessing my current problem of where I was and what state I was in. My eyes fluttered open but they didn’t help much.  Dark room with no light.  I was naked as I could feel no clothing on my body and chained (I could feel the metal shackles) with my hands over my head. My feet barely touched the floor but I was supporting my own weight.. My arms were definitely aching as well as my feet because of this. I was wet indicating someone had hosed me down or washed me. I was also gagged with one of the those ball gags that you see in BDSM.  Shit, was this to be my final fate as some sex toy for a member of the House of Venus? Worse ways to go, to be honest.

Under normal circumstances with your average mage, all this prevents spell casting and enhancement by worn objects. They removed my clothes, even my underwear in the fear it might be enchanted to augment or give me certain powers. They washed me down to get rid of any alchemical substances I might be wearing.  The gagged me to prevent verbal spell triggers and immobilized me for the same reason with gestures.  Pretty good way to make a spell caster ineffective.

Joke’s on them. Being a hedge wizard, I don’t have the problems associated with normal magical training. The normal process is so conditioned that things are standardized.  I never had any of that, so I learned things that probably other wizards have conditioned out of them. Like the need for words or gestures to focus magic.  No doubt I use them because it is easier to do things with them.  Much harder without them to be sure, but I learned long ago that, they are not really needed.  It just takes a lot more mental focus.

What to do though?. It was a difficult question as I had no information about who Lunette was doing this for or if it was something she was doing herself.  The chains though indicated she was probably on a contract.  Her last words of ‘this is for your own good.’ kind of pissed me off but also alarmed me as things had been for an unknown time out of my hands.  I dislike it when people think they know better than you what is best for you.  Shit most people can’t run themselves and then they think they can run your life?  Fuck them and fuck that.

I was in the dark figuratively and literally and I needed information and answers and it came to me that the best way to handle it was to act like I was still out and see if anyone showed up. It was a nice plan but apparently I was being monitored because the lights came on nearly blinding me and a voice spoke. Feminine but commanding.

“Awake at last I see.”

I was gagged, so conversation was out.

“Mr. Raby, I want you to know it has been very difficult to arrange this meeting between us.  Very expensive.  I would like to have  conversation with you but I need some sort of assurance you won’t level my place to the ground.  You can see my point can’t you?”

I nodded and smiled behind the gag. Damn Skippy, lady if my hands were free a lot of fires would be burning right now.  Not that I couldn’t with a little meditation start some right now. Best keep that little fact to myself until the opportune time.

“Good.  I will remove your gag if you promise me to hear me out.”

I nodded slowly and deliberately keeping my eyes shut to avoid them being blinded.

“Very well. Let’s see if you can be trusted.”

I few seconds later I heard a door open and managed a peek from under my eyelids. the door was actually behind me so I couldn’t see who came in.  The room itself was painted a dull grey and was untrimmed.   The floor was grey as well – concrete. I heard footsteps directly behind me and then they circled to my left an then a woman appeared in front of me.

She was probably a lot older than she looked.  You could tell by the eyes that were grey pools that had that ‘I have seen some shit’ look to them.She wore the emblem of House Venus on her red robes which, while flowing did little to hide her plunging cleavage or her midriff down to her navel. Curvy, sensual and her face was that cute heart shaped thing.  Red lips and perfect makeup.  Her hair was black as night and in a wavy manner flowed over her shoulders like a black waterfall.  She smiled and it was disarming. I had no idea what magic she specialized in so my mental exercise defenses were up.

“Here, let me remove that.”

She removed the ball gag. I flexed my mouth a bit to remove the stiffness.

“You know I have used these many times, but never experienced the ‘pleasure’ of one in my own mouth”

“Maybe we can hook up later and I will let you try it out.  You can bring that one.”

She laughed.  Is it possible to have feminine commanding laugh?  After hearing her – yes.

“Lunette said you were a sarcastic smart ass.”

“Better than being a dumb ass.”

She smiled again.

“Mr. Raby, as much as I appreciate the banter, I have a proposal to run by you and it is in your best interests to accept. Trust me on this. This is truly for your own good.”

“You know, I would really like to determine that for myself. But if it will get me down from here and my clothes returned that would be great.”

She looked down my body.

“Clothes? For a middle aged man I would say you are doing well. You are not shy are you?”

“No, part time nudist actually, It’s just you House of Venus types tend to look at men like they are a side of beef with a flesh dildo attached.  Makes me self-conscious”

She laughed again.  Despite the circumstances I liked it.

“Mr Raby, you do understand our house.  But where our my manners.  Lioness Harper.  Janice Harper.”

So, the Lioness of House Venus herself.  Oh, Lunette what have you dragged me into now?

“Well, I thought House Venus had a price on my head along with all the other houses.  This is an awkward moment for you.  I mean how the fuck do you expect to keep me a secret and alive in a House that has every reason to want me dead?”

“Because, we no longer desire you dead.  Rather, we wish to offer you a job.”

“Well, this is a hell of a interview. Don’t you have a bounty on the head of Lunette too, and aren’t you and the pixie world at war?  Fuck lady, what are you up to?”

“Trying to end the war and reestablish peace.  Mostly, I think this whole affair is stupid. I should probably tell you that the whole of the events that have befallen you this last few months since your wife’s death, were orchestrated in part by me.”

“Orchestrated?”

“Yes, the attack on you the restaurant. Raven’s little chat with you. The accident that caused the rerouting of the cars past the church.  I knew that those ghosts would resonate with you.  Lunette’s involvement.”

“Well, the church thing helped. The rest of it seems like throwing curves at me. Both politically and the ones attached to the female of the species. It definitely worked.  Here I am, now what?”

“I would like you to join the Revolution. I would like you to participate in faking your own death and joining this fight against the tyranny of the Council.  Once they are defeated, you could return to your family.  But to protect them they need to think you are dead.”

“That would be causing them a lot of grief and sorrow.”

“Yes, but the stakes are high and on your own you know that you will not last the year. The council fears you and they will eventually push to have you killed. If they at least think you are dead for a bit, you can start anew and on the down low.  You could fight with surprise and on your own terms again. Ed, you need friends and I need you to fight the Council.  I believe you are the one that can ultimately defeat them.  You are the one to tip the scales.”

“Seems like the fairy world could do that better than me. I mean you wizard types have always feared them and this war could do that job for you.”

“Except for one thing.  The fairy world is losing.  They are losing because their is imbalance.  The Red Tree Grove is gone.  Because of this, they are weaker than the mages this time have he upper hand in power.”

“Gone…but…how?”

“The dryad that was connected to the tree is gone. Over the last twenty years, it has faded, dying and just last year the power that was sustaining it finally collapsed completely.  The tree is gone and the grove.  That’s why we need mages to turn to revolutionaries. That’s why we need you.  Otherwise the council will enslave or destroy all other magical creatures.”

I stood dumbfounded for a minute. Fuck, she was right.  The Council would either destroy all magical beings that could destroyed or enslave them.  Pixies for instance would be pleasure slaves to feed the magical power of the mages. Dammit.  No choice.

“OK, I’m in.”

“Really, Lunette said you could be persuaded, but I had my doubts.  OK.  Let me get the key to your chains….”

Her voice trailed off at that point, because I cast a spell – no words, no gestures and the manacles sprang open to my knock spell. Lioness Harper looked dumbfounded as I rubbed my wrist a second.  Then I turned on my shield with my left hand and my flame in my right.

“Let’s be clear Lioness Harper.  If you ever chain, cage or otherwise imprison me again, I will be very pissed off.  You don’t want to see me pissed off.”

She nodded.

“Now, where are my clothes?”

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Unlocking My Meditation

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

This week I am looking a tweaking certain things about my routines so I am going to look at each journal post and see what needs to be tweaked.  Under Foundation Virtues is some discussion my Morning Routine and Bucket List and oddly enough they are going to go together.  The way they are going together is through meditation.

One of my only concerns with the Morning Routine has been meditation.  I originally thought what I need to do is formalize things a bit.  Make them more structured.  I think that will happen, but I now feel I shouldn’t look at it that way.   I would rather look at it as making changes to unlock the potential of mediation for myself.

What I picture is meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues, picking one principle from one of them to meditate on, then meditating on one of my goals, and one bucket list item. This would involve a nine-day rotation.  It would then end with emptying my mind and doing a basic relaxation technique. I have nine virtues, nine goals and nine principles.  The only problem is I have ten bucket list items so it would involve removing one of them.

I have been debating the use of aids on this.  Most notably a candle and a symbol focus. The symbol focus I have used and it would probably be the Valknut. I am thinking a medallion that after meditation I can wear around my neck as a constant reminder.  The candle is also a focus I have used in the past and it a powerful one where I have gotten so lost in meditation that I lose track of time.  I am going to try a candle with a timer from my smart phone to offset this potential ‘problem’. Position has always been an issue and  I am going to go lotus for a while.  It usually hurts my knees but mostly I think that is because I am not used to it.

So far there are several things I do that are going to stay.  1) Nine Noble Virtues – Meditation on a virtue or virtues really works.  It definitely is a much higher thing to meditate, on than what I want to do that day. I may however add meditation on the higher virtues as well. 2)  Nudity – I have to say there is something very beneficial about literally throwing off all encumbrance, including clothing, to meditate.  No clothes and the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band. There is something very liberating, free and open about this state when meditating.

The main goal now is to unlock the potential of this part of my morning routine so that I gain insight, enlightenment, a positive mental state and motivation from it.  The ultimate goal is to have a highly effective ten minutes of meditation that accomplishes all of this regularly.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Meditation has also been very instrumental in getting me back into a more positive attitude and mental state about my future and giving me that much-needed self-examination that leads to a sense of self-worth. A sense of honor is something I have gained while meditating.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Sometimes the right thing to do and when to do it is not clear.  I have found mediation to be the key at times in discovering both.  Then all that remains is to actually act and meditation can steel my heart to do that.  Meditation helps with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I cannot underestimate the number of times clarity, enlightenment, insight and other things like this have been part of my mediation results. Truth has been unlocked at certain times, and for that I am very grateful.

Higher Virtue: Love:

A feeling of well-being and a feeling of being loved and loving are sometimes very present in my meditation times. I guess in many ways it is how I have learned to love my wife more and more each day.  It has at least been a tool for unlocking my understanding of my love for her and I would say some of the same mental state of openness and freedom has slipped over into the times we make love as well.  Love of life and the world around me is a very present feeling when I meditate as well and I want to unlock that further.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditation
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I have made the line for meditation just that.  The process inside of this simple word will be written down in my paper journal until it becomes more automatic. Much of what happens in routines is that I have to follow what I want by looking at a list at first.  This can be clumsy and awkward at first but the more I do it, the more natural it becomes. Meditation changes will be like that too but I think it will be worth it.

As a side note my meditation time spills over into my full body stretch and I am thinking of doing some more yoga type stretches with this.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Removed starting my own business. As I look to the future this bucket list item will be a goal under something involving my career eventually.  It will make its way to my goal list eventually so it isn’t really gone, just shifted in timing and placement.

Weightlifting:

This is one activity that meditation is a big part of when I do it.  Every set is preceded by a mental focusing and as the set is being done, mental focus is very important. It is this meditational aspect that I miss just as much as the challenge of the iron.  I will hopefully get back to this soon. I have the money now to get a gym membership going at least.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Freedom and Moral Responsibility

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day.  Back to the Pagan Pulpit as normal. 

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Freedom – Alice Cooper:

I suppose it was only a matter of time before Alice Cooper made his way to my  pagan pulpit songs.  I love this video more than the song as it was the spectacle that was a show by Alice. His musicians were buff too.    Mostly its the line – free to rock and free to talk.

Poem: “The New Colossus” – Emma Lazarus

Image result for the new colossus

I have always loved this poem.  It seems these days to many Americans forget that most of us started as refuges and refuge from other lands. Liberty is why people came here and it should still be true that all who seek liberty should be granted it.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty:

Miss Tom Petty but his song live on and this one has been a favorite of my when I am free-falling in my thoughts.

Text: I am Free – Robert A. Heinlein

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Sermon:

It was only a mater of time before I got to a quote from Robert Heinlein.  The science fiction writer from the Golden Age of Science fiction was also a libertarian, nudist and political philosopher but he is most known for his science fiction which did have a profound impact on society particularly A Stranger in a Strange Land which influenced 1960s thinking and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress which cannot be underestimated in its influence on  the United States landing on the moon in 1969.

Mostly as I read him, I find an unshakable understanding of the value of human freedom and liberty. Part of this is his rugged belief in the individual needing to be self-sufficient and in that I am completely in agreement with him.  I have been a kindred soul of Mr. Heinlein since I first discovered him back in Bible College.

I meditate on this quote often.  When I was Christian I used to have the belief that people either did what it right out of love for someone else or out of fear of punishment.  For most people I think this is still true, but I think the real problem with both of these is that they are lower forms of moral motivation.  Both of them lack an understanding of freedom and liberty as a motivating factor.  Love of freedom is a higher motivator I think and causes one to be moral even when no one is watching.  Or even when everyone is watching.  Love for others implies I only act morally when I perceive others might be affected negatively.  Fear implies that I only act morally because I want to avoid punishment. Both are outside forces making me be moral; they are not me acting on my own internal morality or taking responsibility for myself in my decisions.

There is a great deal of difference when someone act morally regardless of consequence.  The essence of Heinlein’s quote is that the rules don’t matter.  Love or Fear doesn’t matter.  What matters is regardless I am free to act and in the end it is not love or fear that makes my actions moral but that I choose in freedom what to do. The moral responsibility is mine, regardless of love or fears I might have.

I take responsibility for my actions because they are mine and no one else’s. By the same principle, I don’t take moral responsibility for the choices another makes.  Those choices belong to them; not me.  It is why in relationships, the moral choice question disappears when people are coerced or forced to do something through law or fear. If they are manipulated to a choice, then that is also not a choice in freedom.  It’s why as Libertarian I feel the real immoral forces of this world are the misuse force, threat of force and fraud.  Nothing can be moral when it is influenced by these actions.

If it requires fear or love to be moral, then I am basically saying I have no internal morality.  But once I understand the line: “I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”  Then I know I am acting freely moral because I have chosen it; not because I was forced or manipulated to it.

I dwell on this quote a lot, mostly because I have been accused of manipulation.  I don’t think people know how repugnant that idea is to me. Too many people live in the love and fear dynamic, and  so they assume I do as well.  I don’t.  I take responsibility for my part in things; but if there is another person involved, they are responsible in equal measure to me.  That’s why my marriage being rocky in the past was both of us.  My affair this summer was both of us. I gladly take my responsibility for my part in both of those things as that is the morally right thing to do, but I hold the other side of both of those relationships responsible for their part in it as well. I don’t let them off the hook for what they did. Some people don’t like that.  Tough rocks.

As I move forward, I want this understanding to guide my decisions.  It lines very much with my concept of honor.  It is not fear of law or god that motivates me.  It is not love for others that motivates me.  It is my own sense of personal honor that I alone am morally responsible for my actions that matters.  Nothing more; Nothing less.

Closing Song: Let it Be – The Beatles:

The Beatles sooner or later would have made the Pulpit, but this week this song seems appropriate to me.  Let it be.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Yes, it is.  Something I am trying to come to grips with lately.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – ‘Nudism’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

As a Christian theologian I wrote on the subject of human nudity a lot.  You can still read most of it at All Things Rabyd under the page titled God and Nudity.  Through all that, I developed some interesting friends in the nudist community.  I discovered that the term ‘Christian nudist’ is not actually an oxymoron.  I see recently the Sky Clad Therapist among my recent followers.  He is someone I have had a long association with on WordPress through the years on this subject.

Back in the Christian days, I spent a lot of time a Biblical scholar and theologian trying to come to grips with nudity from a Christian perspective. I went through the entire Bible and came to some controversial conclusions.  Some of the more thought provoking ones were that God’s view of nudity is that it was good, that the Bible makes no distinction about women’s breasts as being sinful and that if we were to follow the gospel’s implications to their logical conclusions, then we should return to our original state if all sin has been removed by Christ – ‘naked and unashamed’.

Practically of course, one cannot act on such conclusions either as a Christian in Western society or particularly as a minister.  Now that I am neither, I face some thoughts on this matter because the only thing really now is the social mores of our culture and the decency laws.  I say this because personally I have been just as comfortable in my skin as I am in my clothes and have been that way most of my life. The question now is does my departure from Christianity change my perspective on nudism?  On to the Wolves and Ravens.

Geri (Need): Do we have a need to be naked?  I think we do.  Practically I know for a biological fact our skin functions in its job better when exposed to the open air.  From vitamin D production to simply not developing the fungus on our bodies that comes from sweat and oil being trapped next to our skin by our clothing, I would say there is good evidence being naked for some frames of time leads to better health.  Psychologically, I have to say there is something relaxing about it.  I know what others have told me social nudity has allowed them to have a better positive body image, better understanding of the equality of human beings and other benefits. So perhaps our minds, hearts and bodies do have a need for it.

Freki (Want):  Do people want to be naked? Honestly there are surely those that do.  The question is what of the rest of people who have social mores about it and don’t ‘want to see that.’  The point is though there are some of us who like to be sky-clad from time to time and I don’t think this can be labeled as inherently bad depending on the motivation.  From and intimacy standpoint, nudity with lovers is desired and I can’t say that is inherently bad either.  The issue is motivation and what the nudity is being used for.  But even the uses of nude photography and art have their want aspects that requires looking at motivation. To want to be naked in and of itself – no problem.  If there is a purpose attached then the moral question shifts to whether the want is beneficial or detrimental to self or society.

Huginn (Reason): If I apply straight reason to nudism and nakedness, I really can’t say there is any reasonable detriment to either self or society.  You can’t make a positive statement that a person’s nudity causes harm in and of itself. If a woman strips her clothes off in a crowded room, no one can claim that action or her nudity harms anything other than their sensibilities.  The only reason to be applied to such action is that because some do not have such a view, it might bring harm to her because some would be offended at take action against her – physical or societal.  Reason should tell the nudist, to be wary of the laws of the land and what society thinks to avoid consequences. But no reasonable inquiry can find that nudity in and of itself harms anyone.

Muninn (Wisdom): Wisdom says that there are certain societal issues that, while it is not reasonable to have moral objections to them, people do not act on reason. Probably some of the most noteworthy of such issues are marriage and sex.  Certainly in this category is nudism.  Nudity generates a varied response.  Those that want to fulfill their need and desire to be nudists need to exercise a lot of caution and wisdom.  Privacy and finding private places is a good start with this. If there is a need for social nudity, finding places dedicated to such activity is probably a better bet than fighting laws.

I am not saying to not educate and try to find a way to more rational laws.  I think for instance the topfree movement is a good movement.  What I am saying is you better ask yourself if your activism is worth the money in fines or time in jail. There is also the question of family to consider.  As much as individual practice is at the forefront, your spouse may not be of the same mind or the rest of your family.  Nudists simply have to accept the fact that not everyone can separate nudity from sexuality.

Conclusion:  Personally, I am not an open practitioner of nudism. It is part of my life but I do so privately, when no one else is around. It is part of my morning routine from the time I get up; through meditation, stretching, breakfast and my shower. I sleep naked and have for decades.  I don’t really have any rational objection to it anymore, nor do I appeal to any authority other than reason and wisdom.  I keep my practice private and to myself. I find it liberating, comforting and spiritually uplifting as a spiritual discipline.

I think that is probably the way most nudism is practiced in western society.  People being comfortable in the privacy of their own homes.  To be honest, we should respect that and it’s none of our concern most of the time.  For the nudist, I would say that it’s OK to be one, but listen to the ravens.  Use your reason and wisdom as you exercise your needs and wants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Morning Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day –  I actually find this one the most interesting.  We have shrunk it down to Friday which is the spelling of Frigg but we say it Fry which reflects Freya.  

My to do list still has a few things on it.

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Daily Routine
  3. Weekly Routine
  4. Bucket List

I also have some planning to do regarding weightlifting and diet.  So we all know what I will be doing today and next week.

My morning routine is about doing the daily stuff that can be done right away every day and getting myself off to a positive start.  So it involves things that wake me up and get me thinking about the things I need to think about.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I think most of these are self-explanatory.  A few notes:

My meditation is on one of the NNV.  The reason I do this is to ponder it a little more deeply and see if I am understanding the wisdom of it a little more fully.  If there is something noteworthy, I usually write it down.

My Full Body Stretch is an every morning thing and takes about 15 minutes.  I have discovered that as I get older this is helpful in having less joint stiffness and soreness the rest of the day.

My supplements are actually a short list.  I would probably do more supplements but they are expensive and I don’t have the extra money for them right now. Mostly it’s a multivitamin, fish oil for my eyes and a joint supplement.  My medications are diabetic stuff.  No insulin yet thankfully.

Oh, the last one is getting dressed for the day.  The nice thing about having my own place now is the privacy.  It allows me to dress or not dress as I feel.  Like my father, I am comfortable in my own skin as much as I am clothed.  I just don’t see much point in getting dressed until after I take my shower.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I am starting to be harder on myself in the right way.  I can do more and do better.  This is particularly true when it comes to school and my job.  I am definitely learning to be more disciplined in school.  Mostly I am still behind on reading.  Getting these routines more formalized is also helping things a bit in this area so it has been overall a good thing.

I am looking at all things in my life and the Morning routine is not a problem.  It’s the daily stuff I need to be doing better at.  I will talk more on this on Monday.  That’s why if I can put a thing in the morning routine I do it.  It pretty much makes sure it gets done. The Daily routines are often conditional on my daily schedule and that causes problems from time to time.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I have had a recurring nightmare/dream that has caused me some trouble this week.  Mostly,  it involves people I used to know and care for gathering around me and mocking me and what I am trying to do.  I go to work and someone is standing nearby and yelling at me that I am worthless.  It finally culminates in me being surrounded by these people and they pick up rocks and stone me.  Right before I die, I wake up.

I put this under perseverance because dreams and nightmares like this one used to shake me but now I just kind of shrug them off.  They do trigger The Grey a little, and I have to fight through it, but thankfully my wife helps a lot with that.  Knowing she loves me when she could be a part of that crowd is a remarkable and special thing to me.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

My issue these days is not loyalty as far as if I am loyal.  My issue is what to be loyal to these days. I am loyal to my wife and family.  I know I have to prove that a lot after what has taken place, but I stand by them.  I work on being loyal to myself.  I am loyal to the friends I still have left.  Those that have turned their back on me – fine.  I let a lot of that go.  Less friends, less hassle.  Apparently their friendship didn’t include loyalty to me when I needed them the most. There are a few who have engaged in outright treachery against me.  Those?  Well, justice demands that if I ever get the chance to get justice, I will take it.  It’s not a vengeance thing, just balancing the scales if the opportunity presents itself.  Fidelity demands it.  I will remain patient and watchful.

It’s the faith thing in the gods/goddesses that is troublesome. I can loyal to the concepts of the NNV and the ideals of deism, humanism and even paganism as I define them.  I am still a seeker in that regard, so its hard to know what to be loyal to other than the principles.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!