The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 2:1 – “People are Stupid”

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements: 

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: ‘Radio Ga Ga’ – Queen (Live at Wembly London 1985)

I don’t really need to explain why I open with Queen sometimes do I?

Poem: “We all eat lies” – Dark and Twisted

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Meditation:

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Hard to find the right people.   Why? Because as we will see today – stupidity.

Song of Preparation:  ‘Vengeful One’ – Disturbed

The greatest thing that proves people are stupid is that they believe the media most of the time.  The media knows full well that people are stupid and take advantage of that all the time. They feed people’s’ confirmation bias and into cognitive dissonance all the time.

Text:

‘People are Stupid’ – The Book of Rabyd 2:1

Sermon:

We are with verse one of chapter two moving into a different realm of The Book of Rabyd.  Chapter one is principles I would say are universally or nearly universally true.  Chapter Two is points of wisdom which are more about life guides and coming to a better understanding of the world.  Not hard fast rules in chapter two, but definitely can be seen to be true most of the time.  We start with the simple three word Phrase: “People are Stupid”

One might say this is a pretty pessimistic view of people in general. This is not a statement about people and their morality however, just their nature. Terry Goodkind and his Wizard’s Rules impressed me in their quick way of getting to human nature and laying it out there plainly and bluntly.  I like someone who can take a concept and put it into a simple statement and “People are Stupid” shocks you ,and yet catches your attention, because you know in you heart it is true.  I have tried to put this idea into other terms or phraseology but it never has the force of “People are Stupid.”

Terry Goodkind though really doesn’t stop with just these three words. but in his book Wizard’s First Rule he makes several other points about it:

  1. Given proper motivation people will believe almost anything.
  2. People will believe something because they want it to be true or fear it is true. (Confirmation Bias)
  3. Peoples’s heads are full of things that they think is true but is in reality mostly false. (Cognitive Dissonance)
  4. People rarely can tell the difference between a lie and the truth, but they think they can. (Ego)
  5. Because of all this people are easier to fool.

You will note Terry did not say ALL People are stupid.  His assumption is that by understanding this rule you can rise above it yourself.  First you understand it for yourself that you yourself are stupid.  Once you get this idea that you are stupid and need analyze your own thinking and beliefs for whether or not they are true, then you are very much on the path to understanding yourself and others better.  Stupidity is part of being a human being and once you get that part, the rest of the wisdom that flows from this foundation becomes easier to swallow.  Truth is found in understanding that even you can be subject to stupidity and that means re-thinking things regularly to make sure you are basing your understandings on the truth, and not just what you want to be the truth.

There is tremendous power that you gain when you understand all of this and the challenge for the vitreous person is to not take advantage of it for malevolent purposes.  It gives you an advantage when you realize what makes people, stupid including yourself is Confirmation Bias, Cognitive Dissonance, and Ego. You can use this to help or harm.  lead people to truth to a lie.  Motivate them to great good or evil.

As a leader over the years’, I have come to realize the difficulty of researching and coming to know the factual truth at times, but knowing full well that to motivate people to act on it, requires a great deal of tapping into people’s ‘stupidity’.  Otherwise they will never be motivated to act.  Truth rarely motivates, passion does.  That is the challenge to be motivated by truth as a leader but tap into people’s passions so you don’t on the one hand mislead people, but on the other hand get them to act.

We may see Terry Goodkind again.  I am revising a lot of these points of wisdom and combining some of them so we will see.  However many of the Wizard’s Rules echo in a lot of them.

Closing Song: ‘Holy Diver’ – Dio

Parting Thought:

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You are sovereign over your life.  Never forget that.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:2 – “Everyone Has the Right to Life”

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Matchbox Twenty – “Real World”

Come on in and live a little.  Take a break from the real world.

Poem:  “Live a Little” by ACSK

Image result for live life poem

Live a little? – nope.  I plan to live a lot.

Meditation:

Image may contain: text that says 'My actions reflect who I truly am and your interpretation of them reflects who you truly are. Deep Alignment'

A friend of mine posted this quote a couple of days ago.  It resonated with me a lot.  If it does for you as well bonus.  Mostly if people always are interpreting what you do negatively, that is probably more of a reflection on them than you.

Song of Preparation: Disturbed – Ten Thousand Fists (Live 2016 – Grand Rapids, Michigan)

Thought I would prep with this one as it has become a recent Disturbed favorite of mine.  This one was also performed a few years ago right down the road from me; so, I have to say that has its appeal too.

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Life” – The Book of Rabyd 1:2

Sermon:

I am going to state it plainly that verses 2 through 4 are a rip off from Thomas Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence. But the right to life is still a very hot button topic in this world today and I am not going to skirt around it, but before I begin I would remind people who there are three of these major rights and not one is more important than the other. They have to be kept in balance because they are all ‘inalienable’ so not one of them can be more important than the other. The right to life is simply the first one.

At this point I want to point out that I am making an assumption here in the source of rights. There are actually many schools of thought about where rights come from; or if we even have them at all, but the assumption made by most of the founding fathers was that rights were natural, given by the creator. We will run with that for the purposes of the Book of Rabyd.

The main issue is that everyone has the right to live and that no one has the right to take another life.  There are of course all kinds of issues here from capital punishment to abortion, but we need to remember that this right has value.  That values need to be considered when looking at those issues.  If a person murders someone, then they have denied another’s right to live and I would say also forfeited their own.  Our right to live is conditional on the one factor, that we respect everyone else’s right to live.   Once we fail to do that we forfeit that right.

The other issue is the very simple.  When does life begin and when does it end?  It is this issue along with the other issues of the other two inalienable rights that need to be considered when considering issues such as capital punishment or abortion. The main issue for me has always been to respect the lives of others and that they respect mine.  Given that, I expect people to let me live that life as I wish to live in liberty and I will do the same for them.  But that is a discussion for next week

Closing Song: Sammy Hagar – Mas Tequila

One Last Skaal before we go – Classic Sammy.  There is a guy who knows how to live a little.

Parting Thought: 

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If your going to live, you need to let others live too. To do that you need to drop controlling bullshit philosophies – like religion, political affiliation and tribalism.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 6 – Replacing Memories with Memories

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

If you have been reading this last week an a half, you are very well aware that I am in the midst of what I what I would call a Grey Storm.  That is depression is overshadowing my life with dark clouds and a little rain. Mostly I just have been having a lot of problems feeling anything at all as I go through my day.

I mentioned that I felt this was triggered in my journal posts by some memories which were triggered in part by the time of year and by a dream.  The time of year is significant because last year at this time my organist at the church died.  He was a good friend and the last of my musicians with any real talent that I started with nine and half years previously.  Everyone I had started with in that regard was gone and I dubbed this time as the day the music died.  End of an era really for the church which really was completely true once I left.

I was really hurting and the only one who was listening to me at the time was a young woman who I ended up having an affair with.  I am not proud of this; and there are no good excuses for it, but there were reasons.  The starting point though was my organists death and reaching out at the time in friendship to her and her to me at this time last year.

The other trigger was a dream I had last Tuesday (Feb. 5th).  It was very vivid and real in its feeling.  I was walking down a downtown street. I had to find a bathroom and ducked into a restaurant.  I found the bathroom and went in a started to do my business.  While there heard someone enter the room.  They stopped behind me.  They stood there and I could feel their presence but they didn’t move. It was actually unnerving.  I finished and then turned around only to find it was the man from the church who I had considered a friend for well over nine years standing there. Now, I know he was no friend at all, and I would consider him a backstabbing liar and thief. He was smiling at me but it was a wicked smile.  He shook his head at me like a person who has judged you and has nothing but contempt.  I snorted and walked out. My general approach to any memory of this man is to basically say “Fuck you asshole” and try to push it from my mind.

As I was trying to leave the restaurant, there she was – the young lady in question sitting at the table by the door facing me.  She too was smiling.  Not in a judgmental way, just that same smile she always had when she saw me.  I couldn’t get out without going right next to her, and I couldn’t go back with the man behind me, so I went forward and sat down at the table to her left. Yes, the dream was so vivid I can remember details like this. She looked at me and the smile faded from her face as I sat down.  I tried to speak but discovered I couldn’t.  She smiled again and then sang a song.  The weird thing is, I can’t remember what it was.  I can remember everything else in great detail but the song and then she laughed.  I got up and ran out. I could feel both of them following me and then my alarm for work went off.  I was extremely thankful to be getting out of bed that morning, but the dream shook me.

Since then, I have been walking a Grey Storm. Normally dreams fade from my mind until in a week I can’t remember them, but not this one. It was so vivid and real, I just can’t shake it.  I find that the only thing that helps is thinking about other memories that are more pleasant.  Replacing memories with memories.

Today is February 15th.  That probably has the significance to many of you as the day after Valentine’s Day.  To me it has a little more meaning as 30 years ago this is the day  I proposed to my wife. I had chickened out the night before.  But then I knew that I wanted her in my life forever and I took a brave pill.  I asked her the next day in the front seat of my old 1979 LTD.  The rest is history.  It was a great day for me.  One right now that I hold close to my mind, so I can’t see or feel the others that are not so good.

Only time will tell if this technique of using good memories of the long past will help with the memories of the recent past. I am also hoping new memories of the future will help as well.  I need some wins and some success.  I just hate times like this where everything is in autopilot and I am just walking without feeling. My heart and soul going into shutdown mode and staying numb, so I don’t feel pain. At least for now, the good memories of the past pull me out of the numb for a bit.

I suspect there will be more The Grey and The Wayfarer posts.  They will probably increase in frequency from now until the end of summer.  Mostly, I hope to remember some good things to keep out the bad, but I know me.  This is going to be a love/hate year when it comes to memories. and so The Grey will be ever present, like it or not.

Walking the Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

The Pagan Pulpit – Robin Williams – What We Stay Alive For

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Blame Canada” by Robin Williams (South Park)

One of my favorite moments of Robin’s career and oddly enough a song I have been singing from time to time these days.  I play a lot of a PC game called The Long Dark.  it basically an apocalypse simulator where a freak magnetic storm destroys all electronics and your plane crashes in the Canada wilderness.  You task is simply to survive as long as possible. As I am trekking along trying to find the next resource to survive I find myself on occasion remembering this song and singing the verse of it.

Poem: “Slow Dying Flower (poem about Robin Williams)” by Shay Callow

 

He was the brightest star the world had ever seen,
but no star can burn bright forever, although that was unforeseen.
He was a man who brought joy to all those around him,
so that he never had to show them how his life was grim.
He made them laugh until their stomachs hurt,
even though inside he was full of despair, sadness and disconcert.
Like a clown, his smile was painted on,
only when he removed it did you see the wretchedness in his deep blue eyes; that’s when it dawned
that he was a slow dying flower,
fading petal by petal and losing power
until the day he’d been poisoned enough by this ghastly world,
and he died once and for all by his own hand – that’s when the truth of his life really unfurled.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: ‘Why Do We Read and Write Poetry’ by Robin Williams (scene from Dead Poets Society).

I figured the man who said the quote today should be the one to say it. plus he adds his own commentary which is nice. It is a great disappointment to me that Robin didn’t win the best actor award in a leading role. He should have with this performance.

Text: What We stay Alive For – Robin Williams

“Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”

Robin Williams – “Dead Poets Society”

Sermon:

“O captain, my captain!”  I can’t tell you how much the Dead Poets Society shaped my life.  I still difficulty watching it as it is very sad, but if has a theme it is what Robin’s character is trying to get across the entire movie – seize the day, live life, find something that makes life worth living. Write your verse and make it a good one.

I have long taken the message of this movie to heart and this quote reminds me of something I need to remember.  There are many things we do to sustain our lives but there also needs to be the things we live for otherwise life isn’t worth a damn. There are many things that are noble pursuits but if you can’t get up and have something to live for then you’re going to struggle.

In my life right now i have spent a lot of time setting goals and establishing the discipline I need to achieve them. But I can’t say the overall aim is simply to live.  To exist. There is something in life we must have a a passion for or the reason to live will run out and we will find ourselves much like Robin himself. With no reason to continue.

I  for all I am worth that no matter what life throws at me I remember that what I may be doing in life that is noble and good, I remember I need something to stay alive for.  So reason beyond life’s purpose being life itself.  To go from being alive to living life. May we all find that.

Closing Song: Friend like Me – Robin Williams from Aladdin 

I don’t know that I will ever be able to look at Aladdin the same way again or in particular the genie without thinking of Robin Williams.  This performance and animation are some of his best work. It is a pretty unforgettable song

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: 1 person, text that says 'People Will Quit On You! Truth Inside OfYou You gotta get up everyday and make sure you never quit on yourself.'

If I take any inspiration from Robin’s life it is to always make sure I get up and not give up on myself.  Something we all need to remember.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Freedom and Moral Responsibility

Happy Sun’s Day.  Back to the Pagan Pulpit as normal. 

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Freedom – Alice Cooper:

I suppose it was only a matter of time before Alice Cooper made his way to my  pagan pulpit songs.  I love this video more than the song as it was the spectacle that was a show by Alice. His musicians were buff too.    Mostly its the line – free to rock and free to talk.

Poem: “The New Colossus” – Emma Lazarus

Image result for the new colossus

I have always loved this poem.  It seems these days to many Americans forget that most of us started as refuges and refuge from other lands. Liberty is why people came here and it should still be true that all who seek liberty should be granted it.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty:

Miss Tom Petty but his song live on and this one has been a favorite of my when I am free-falling in my thoughts.

Text: I am Free – Robert A. Heinlein

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Sermon:

It was only a mater of time before I got to a quote from Robert Heinlein.  The science fiction writer from the Golden Age of Science fiction was also a libertarian, nudist and political philosopher but he is most known for his science fiction which did have a profound impact on society particularly A Stranger in a Strange Land which influenced 1960s thinking and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress which cannot be underestimated in its influence on  the United States landing on the moon in 1969.

Mostly as I read him, I find an unshakable understanding of the value of human freedom and liberty. Part of this is his rugged belief in the individual needing to be self-sufficient and in that I am completely in agreement with him.  I have been a kindred soul of Mr. Heinlein since I first discovered him back in Bible College.

I meditate on this quote often.  When I was Christian I used to have the belief that people either did what it right out of love for someone else or out of fear of punishment.  For most people I think this is still true, but I think the real problem with both of these is that they are lower forms of moral motivation.  Both of them lack an understanding of freedom and liberty as a motivating factor.  Love of freedom is a higher motivator I think and causes one to be moral even when no one is watching.  Or even when everyone is watching.  Love for others implies I only act morally when I perceive others might be affected negatively.  Fear implies that I only act morally because I want to avoid punishment. Both are outside forces making me be moral; they are not me acting on my own internal morality or taking responsibility for myself in my decisions.

There is a great deal of difference when someone act morally regardless of consequence.  The essence of Heinlein’s quote is that the rules don’t matter.  Love or Fear doesn’t matter.  What matters is regardless I am free to act and in the end it is not love or fear that makes my actions moral but that I choose in freedom what to do. The moral responsibility is mine, regardless of love or fears I might have.

I take responsibility for my actions because they are mine and no one else’s. By the same principle, I don’t take moral responsibility for the choices another makes.  Those choices belong to them; not me.  It is why in relationships, the moral choice question disappears when people are coerced or forced to do something through law or fear. If they are manipulated to a choice, then that is also not a choice in freedom.  It’s why as Libertarian I feel the real immoral forces of this world are the misuse force, threat of force and fraud.  Nothing can be moral when it is influenced by these actions.

If it requires fear or love to be moral, then I am basically saying I have no internal morality.  But once I understand the line: “I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”  Then I know I am acting freely moral because I have chosen it; not because I was forced or manipulated to it.

I dwell on this quote a lot, mostly because I have been accused of manipulation.  I don’t think people know how repugnant that idea is to me. Too many people live in the love and fear dynamic, and  so they assume I do as well.  I don’t.  I take responsibility for my part in things; but if there is another person involved, they are responsible in equal measure to me.  That’s why my marriage being rocky in the past was both of us.  My affair this summer was both of us. I gladly take my responsibility for my part in both of those things as that is the morally right thing to do, but I hold the other side of both of those relationships responsible for their part in it as well. I don’t let them off the hook for what they did. Some people don’t like that.  Tough rocks.

As I move forward, I want this understanding to guide my decisions.  It lines very much with my concept of honor.  It is not fear of law or god that motivates me.  It is not love for others that motivates me.  It is my own sense of personal honor that I alone am morally responsible for my actions that matters.  Nothing more; Nothing less.

Closing Song: Let it Be – The Beatles:

The Beatles sooner or later would have made the Pulpit, but this week this song seems appropriate to me.  Let it be.

Parting Thought:

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Yes, it is.  Something I am trying to come to grips with lately.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Songs of 2018

Happy Sun’s Day. It is also the 11th Night of Yuletide.  This night is sacred to the Valkyries and Warriors.  We remember those who choose the slain as the noble and honored dead destined for Valhalla, and those warriors who were chosen. Today we remember the virtue of Self-Reliance.

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Today’s service resembles a concert more than a service.  Basically, the idea struck me that I should do the past year, one month at a time, in song.  So there will be no text or sermon today.  Just one song per month (two for one month) representing each month as I experienced it. This probably as much as a reflection on this past year, but rather than write about it, I will just give you a song on each month and a little commentary.

I suppose a warning is in order as I am going to be pretty open here about my thoughts.  I also should note that I had to take a break twice while writing this post.  There are a lot of strong emotional memories to 2018 for me. Some good; some bad.  In any case, my hope is a little more closure on a year I hope to not repeat. Overall it changed me for the better, but it was a helluva ride.

Music for me is still a an expression of the real emotions and thoughts I am having I can’t express in words. I think for this reason this way of doing a year review is probably more accurate in many ways than just writing about it.

January: No Rest for the Wicked – Godsmack:

I choose this song for the theme for the entirety of 2018.  I started with the struggle to be a ‘man of God’ who had lost his faith.  The whole year was me not getting enough rest because of all my struggles.  In the end, I dropped the masks and I am probably far more at rest because I am more genuinely who I really am now.  The verses of this song really reflect some of my thoughts to this day, so it fits.

February: American Pie – Don McLean:

In February, my long time organist and friend died. This represented the last of three great musicians/vocalists in my church and with this death for all practical purposes it was ‘the day the music died’ both in my church and my soul. It was my grief over this, and the fact only one person understood it at the time, that left me vulnerable.

March: Losing my Religion – REM:

March was a transitional month for me as I started to fall in love with someone I shouldn’t have. Looking back on it, and as warning to others, grief over the loss of two good friends in less than a year, a weak marriage and looking for comfort, left me open to this.  That and not caring about my religion anymore.  I had lost my faith a couple of years before due to theological reasons, but now the emotional side of it came crashing down.

April: Don’t Stand So Close to Me – The Police:

Lot’s of secret love this month.  Both directions and both forbidden.  I have come to a greater understanding of this song than I ever wanted to this year. Now when I hear this song, I remember the lessons of this past year vividly. Mostly how easy it is to submit to temptation, especially when you are hurting and want something to ease the pain. There is really no excuse for this, but there are reasons people do this which I now know all too well.  I have no excuses, but I did have those reasons.

May: Monsters – Shinedown:

https://youtu.be/Nll48NdS7q4

The shit hit the fan in late May and my monsters got loose.  I think I made the remark at the time that the Pagan was freed from his cage and was kicking the Christian’s ass. I suppose this song stretches into June as well.

The reason it does, is I trusted someone I considered to be a friend with something important.  They took advantage of that trust and betrayed me to get one more win over me, probably to stroke his already overly inflated ego. Yeah, rage doesn’t begin to describe what I felt when I found that out.  It became greater as more details emerged during the summer and I began to discover how planned and maliciously thought out this betrayal was. It still is something I struggle with and quite frankly I finally found someone I don’t believe I can ever forgive. At least not until the scale of justice gets balanced first. Til then my monsters stay hungry and patiently wait.

See the source image

June: Familiar Taste of Poison – Halestorm:

I fell in love with Halestorm this summer.  I also fell fully in love with a young woman.  It’s a decision I now regret. I think the relationship was full of natural chemistry but part of that chemistry was the additional effect of generating a toxicity that was wonderfully deadly. I didn’t want to be saved and I didn’t want to be sober. In the end, I think that toxicity killed it.  I probably should be glad for that, but there is still a sadness and pain to it all for me. This song definitely captures that feeling for me still.

July: 400 Lux – Lorde:

I don’t like describing people as addictions.  It makes them seem like they’re not people but the relationship I had was addicting. Relationships are things. We were always killing time together in July, so the lyrics fit too. It’s no accident I chose the video for this song that has scenes from The Perks of Being a Wall Flower.  It’s a reminder, that life needs to be lived and not just observed.  It’s also a book I probably will not read again for the foreseeable future. Maybe someday I will pick it up again with new eyes, because I really liked it.  There are too many memories associated with it right now. That and the Song All of Me by John Legend. This song by Lorde I can still listen to and remember without it being too painful, but not that one.

August: Stuck with You – Huey Lewis and the News:

August was a roller coaster month.   It was pivotal turning point.  I went from being very special to the young woman in question to becoming someone they used to know in the space of less than a hour. I found a new job, but this happened the same day, so the joy of that disappeared. I found myself alone and bleeding from my soul pretty bad. In that state, I also woke up and began to think that my wife and I could save our marriage.  From my perspective, it was a long shot and I fully expected my wife to tell me to go to hell.

But she didn’t. She accepted my apology and apologized to me in return. We talked, I mean really talked, for the first time in years. It started a healing process that is still in process, but we are better than we have ever been in a long while.  This was the start of that.

Long story short, we found our way back together. In all of this, the only one who really never stopped loving me is her. The only one who exercised ‘Christian’ love, mercy and forgiveness was her.  It overwhelmed me and I fell in love with her again.  We picked this song as our own while on a weekend away.  I am happy to be stuck with her and she is happy to be stuck with me.

September: Love Walks In – Van Halen:

In August I was standing in a convenience store when this song was played.  I started singing it out loud as the cashier was doing so too. He stopped and asked me if it had meaning to me and I said it did now. I continue to play this song on my ‘Wife Playlist’, it makes me think of this moment and her every time.  Throughout September it was my second favorite song next to Stuck With You.

October:  I have two for this month.  Sorry I couldn’t choose just one. 

Both of these songs are on my current walking play list and have been so for a long time. In October as school began in earnest, I found myself listening to them every day. I still do when I listen to music.

Prayer – Disturbed:

It is the way I pray – ‘living isn’t hard enough without ‘god’ making it harder.  I love the lyrics of this song and the feelings behind it. It reflects a lot of my continued struggles with faith.

Voices – Disturbed:

https://youtu.be/pKlg3jYMwRU

I love the video of this song as it reflects the song so well.  I like how the guy is bullied, made fun of and has that girl he likes moment where she dissed him.  He then fantasizes about how to get even with them all – the voices speak in his head.  Instead of acting on them though, he just leaves work and goes to a concert and lets it all go instead.  I listen to this one a lot when I am having dark thoughts.  It helps them simmer down.

November – Hammer to Fall – Queen: 

I include this one for a lot of reasons: 1) The biopic Bohemian Rhapsody was released this month and my daughter and I had a date and went to see it.  Best movie I have seen in a long time.  2) I think in some ways it became a month of returning to ‘normal’ where my wife and I, my family and the friends I have left are back to some sense of stability.  This song kind of is symbolic of that as my daughter and I got back to talking music, books and movies – instead of the chaos of my life. 3) The message of this song.  The hammer is going to fall, so live life fully. 4) Plus it wouldn’t a music list without Queen.

December: Dreams – Van Halen:

https://youtu.be/cG3Vfa6_gCs

Reflective of the end of the year. I graduated college (with a little work to do) and my wife, myself and family have been celebrating the holidays together.  I am starting to dream again about what my life will be.  Dreams are what love is made of according to the song and honestly my life has started to reflect that again.

Parting Thought:

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Wishing you the most prosperous journey as you travel through 2019.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

The Pagan Pulpit – Doubt but Not Denial

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Eminem – Not Afraid

With Eminem for me it really depends on the song whether I like him or not.  I like this one because it is very much a comeback song and I need a comeback song. In any case, the song has its musical moments that I like.

Poem: 

Solitude – Lord Byron

To sit on rocks, to muse o’er flood and fell,
To slowly trace the forest’s shady scene,
Where things that own not man’s dominion dwell,
And mortal foot hath ne’er or rarely been;
To climb the trackless mountain all unseen,
With the wild flock that never needs a fold;
Alone o’er steeps and foaming falls to lean;
This is not solitude, ’tis but to hold
Converse with Nature’s charms, and view her stores unrolled.

But midst the crowd, the hurry, the shock of men,
To hear, to see, to feel and to possess,
And roam alone, the world’s tired denizen,
With none who bless us, none whom we can bless;
Minions of splendor shrinking from distress!
None that, with kindred consciousness endued,
If we were not, would seem to smile the less
Of all the flattered, followed, sought and sued;
This is to be alone; this, this is solitude!

It wouldn’t be fitting not to have Lord Byron Poem when I am also quoting him for my text this week. Solitude is something I am acquainted with and something at times I desire.  He hints at what it means to be alone and it is not solitude with nature but to be among our fellow-men and not feeling anything.  Without connection to something we feel alone, even in a crowd.  Boy do I get that.

Meditation: 

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Song of Preparation: Disturbed – Prayer

Don’t normally pray, but this isn’t really a prayer but a reflection on loss and doubt in God.  I understand this better now more than ever.

Text:

There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off.  In short, I deny nothing but doubt everything.

Sermon:

I find that the hardest thing personally to grasp at times is my turn from Christianity.  Not because I don’t think it was right decision or wasn’t in the end reasonable but the constant reminders this time of year of a holiday I no longer celebrate the Christian side of.  I got my oil changed and the guy asked me if it was OK to wish me a ‘Merry Christmas’ instead of ‘Happy Holidays’.  Do what you want to do. I am not offended. It does however remind me of something that I no longer hold sacred.  It’s not about the Mass to Christ anymore to me. It’s about family and Yule.

I, like Lord Byron, have always had a bit of the pagan in me.  I have enjoyed this quote by Byron for long time because it makes sense to me. This tug of war between the side of me that wants to place my faith fully in something and be open to all possibilities and the other side of me who is the hardened skeptic that doubts everything. It however is a tension I have come to think is beneficial.  What I want “to believe in is the world the promised it would be, not the tawdry, fouled-up mess it is.”

I suspect this pagan part of me will always be there and I don’t regret that because it means I will hopefully find a way to walk this world that enjoys the wonders of it and yet, seeks the truth of it.  No matter how ugly the reality may be I remain both hopeful and a skeptic.

Closing Song: Skyrim – The Song of the Dragonborn

Yeah, I know it is a song about a fictional character for a video game – The Dragonborn. Except the song is epic and the lyrics with the singers are also epic. A good way to build up our courage for the week ahead.

Parting Thought: 

Image result for villain in someone else's story

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Freddie Mercury – Actually Genuine

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

See the source image

Today’s Pagan pulpit celebrates the life of  man who probably was the best front man in Rock and Roll ever.  Period.  Given that a movie has been recently released about his life, it is only fitting that on this day the Pagan Pulpit pays tribute to the front man of the legendary rock band Queen – Freddie Mercury.

Opening Song: Hammer to Fall – Queen:

I start with a lesser known song by Queen.  Don’t get me wrong this song is known, but it’s just a straight rock song.  It is Rock n Roll of the era and actually stands out because of it.  Queen was a rock band that defied genre classification because every song was so different.  This one is classic rock and roll and  quite frankly really good rock and roll.  “To those that stand proud, in the shadow of the mushroom cloud.”  Cold War Song as well and one I relate to very well.

Poem:

See the source image

Not so much a poem this week as a quote about lyrics and poetry by Freddie.  I think in part nails the problem I had with poetry for years which was trying to find meaning in them instead of discovering it. Sometimes when looking at lyrics and poetry, it just hits you and that’s when you know what it means.

Meditation:

Image may contain: one or more people, text that says 'IF YOU'RE GONNA STAND STAND LIKE GIANTS. HUNDREDS.EMPIRE'

Song of Preparation: Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen:

I don’t really have to say anything here about Queen’s probably most recognized song and the most ironic.  It is because their producer wouldn’t do this song, Queen left him and went elsewhere and the rest if history.  Their magnum opus that moved them from being a rock band to a legend.

Text:

I am not afraid to speak out and say the things that I want to, or do the things I want to do. So I think in the end being nature and being actually genuine is what wins, and I hope it comes out in my songs.  – Freddie Mercury

Sermon:

As I read this quote I was struck by the phrase ‘actually genuine’.  I wish I could find such people or even better be such a person myself. It seems this world wants to tell you ‘be yourself’ until you actually do it and then the refrain becomes – “not like that.”  People don’t really mean that ‘be yourself’  what they mean is ‘be yourself as long as it doesn’t offend me’ or ‘stays within the normal parameters of what is acceptable’.

Freddie Mercury definitely hits the thing that people don’t like – someone who is actually genuine.  Someone who truly speaks their mind and are themselves.  He lived that and it made him remembered and legendary.

I think we all know what it takes to be successful, we all know what it would be to be truly ourselves.  Most of us chicken out because we perceive the cost becomes to great.  We settle.  People like Freddie Mercury shame us though – he didn’t settle. I think he wrestled with it the same as us, but he was not going to give up what he wanted to be or say just to please others.

I want to be like that.  I am tired of compromising what I say and do at times just so people like me. I want to be actually genuine.

Parting Song: Live Aid – Queen Full Concert – Queen: 

Probably the best live rock concert ever. Less than 25 minutes but no one who saw it live forgets it regardless if they were actually there or watched it on MTV. The Movie Bohemian Rhapsody takes out two songs but this is the actual tape of the whole thing.  Enjoy the ride.

See the source image

Objective achieved, Freddie Mercury.  Objective achieved.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – My Bohemian Rhapsody

I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody last night with my daughter.  She became a 1980s music fan early on and so she definitely has a bridge between herself and her two parents that her two brothers do not have.  Although I do believe both my sons appreciate Bohemian Rhapsody as a song.  I can say that watching that movie with her is an experience I will never forget. My little girl is all grown up, but for a couple hours, it was just my little girl, me and the band Queen.

Freddie Mercury is one of those legends of music so powerful that even to today people listen to his songs and love them.  Queen was one of those bands that defied genres and still managed to do every single song thy did with skill, style and power.  I was a devoted Christian when Freddie died and all my Bible College friends were saying he was roasting in hell because of AIDS and homosexuality.  Peer pressure says that I had to agree with them to avoid scrutiny, but in one private moment I shed a few tears at the loss of Freddie Mercury.  Some people are bright stars that burn out way too quickly and Freddie Mercury was one of them.  Bohemian Rhapsody remains one of my favorite songs to this day along with tons of others from Queen.

Queen songs have these things called lyrics.  Real deep lyrics.  They also have something that is missing in a lot of others these days – talent that can’t be faked or altered in the studio.  It was one take after another until they got it right.  No auto tune, not electronic alteration.  Just guys with their instruments and voices played and sung well.  I miss that.

The movie ends with the Live Aid Concert that was probably the best concert of Queen’s career and probably the last time people saw the full showman that was Freddie. After that they did many great concerts but that one stands as the moment Queen ruled the world of rock and roll and Freddie was a living legend.  I can’t tell you how the human moment touched me once again and probably deeper.  When I first saw Live Aid as a teenager in high school, I watched it on MTV live and thought what a great moment in time.  Now that I know more fully the human struggle that it took for that moment to take place, I appreciate it even more.   I still miss Freddie.  He is someone I would have definitely liked to meet.

For me though such movies are a double edged sword.  They bring out my emotions and they cause me to do a lot of reflection.  Freddie made his mark because he insisted on what he wanted and fought for it.  He fought a lot with himself but he also in the end was both at peace with who he was and what he was doing. I want that and I don’t think I have ever completely had it. I have compromised a lot because greater things were at stake at times.  But this movie and Freddie Mercury have me thinking about living life without regrets and without compromise.  I want my Live Aid moment like Freddie had.  I don’t know what that would be for me but I want it and I don’t want to compromise to get it.

The problem with the past is it is something we edit and find the good or the bad moments rise to the top and every thing else fades away.  Bohemian Rhapsody the movie brought out several good moments for me but all of them are in the past and I want some more in the future.  It’s been a hard sleepless evening. Whether that is good or bad I guess I will wait and see. But my sadness is coupled with a longing to see Bohemian Rhapsody played out in my own life. A hunger and desire is building in me and I am sure the movie and those memories had a lot to do with it.

I don’t know if they will ever read this, but to the people who made the movie Bohemian Rhapsody – thank you.  If there was ever a life that needed to have a movie about him, its Freddie Mercury.

I also want to thank my daughter for taking her old man to see it.  Thank you, Bug.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 47 – Enjoying Humanity

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Voices:

https://youtu.be/pKlg3jYMwRU

I have been listening to this one a lot this week.  It kind of goes along with the theme this week, so I will keep the commentary about it until the Sermon.

Poem:

“My Soul Has Eyes”

The Mirror to the Soul

So they are called.

I can’t see my own

unless I look in the mirror.

I wonder what part of my soul people see?

The part of my soul that is tired and depressed

The part of my soul that has regrets

The part of my soul that bleeds with wounds new and old

The part of my soul that is black and dark

or the part that shines in hope and love.

I wish I knew what people see in my eyes

What part of my soul is laid bare.

– Ed Raby, Sr.  – October 25, 2018

I must confess my writing of poetry is bitter sweet.  It enjoy it on the one hand because it allows me to express feelings in words that normal writing doesn’t do.  I need that from time to time.  On the other hand the memories of the person associated with me learning to write poems better and understand them better comes up every time I do it, and that just makes me sad.  I guess it’s something I just live with, because I can’t seem to stop writing them from time to time.  Sometimes its the only thing that works.

Meditation: 

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I post a lot of memes and sayings on Facebook.  Just so everyone knows, the Meditation for the week usually comes from one of them I posted that past week.  It’s the one that meant the most to me.

Song of Preparation:Van Halen – Love Walks In:

The story associated with this song for me is that I was standing in a convenience store a little after my wife and I started reconciling.  This song came on and the guy behind the counter was singing it.  I joined in; which is not something I normally do.  The guy behind the counter stopped to listen to me and asked if the song meant something to me.  I told him until that moment, no.  But now it did.  Not only did it reflect at the time the new feelings of love I had for my wife but there was a very human moment there with that guy.  Humanity didn’t seem all that bad to me at that time.

Text: Havamal 47

Young was I once, I walked alone,
and bewildered seemed in the way;
then I found me another and rich I thought me,
for man is the joy of man.

Sermon:

It is really hard to be objective about the nature of humanity.  Most of us think humans as a rule are not the greatest thing to ever happen to us.  Some people I imagine love people, but there are a good chunk of us that have problems with humanity.  Some of us, like in the video of Disturbed’s song ‘Voices’, have our fantasies about getting back at the bullies, getting revenge on the girl who dumped us or tying up a difficult boss.  It truly is freaky shit that we think of sometimes isn’t it when it comes to how we would like to respond toward some people’s actions toward us.  The voices are pretty convincing that even we are not all that great.

If we were honest though, most of the people in our lives are a lot like us.  Just trying to make their way in the world and do the best they can.  Very few people in our lives actually deliberately try to make our lives miserable.  There are a few, I will acknowledge that, but for most part, people seem decent enough.

I think this is more evident if you have ever been lost alone away from people for a while or wonder if you can find your way back to them.  I have had this experience at least twice.  It is an intense relief when you actually find another person.  I get what Odin is saying in Havamal 47.  Like it or not we need our fellow humans and very few of us are misanthropes.

In fact, I would argue that many times at our lowest point it has been someone else who helped us out of it.  Some person who saw us in our suffering and actually stopped to help, or as we wandered we ran into someone who inspired us. I would say our positive encounters with humans actually probably outweigh our negative ones.

At the very least we become like the guy in the Disturbed video of ‘Voices’.  We drop our anger and desire for vengeance and simply walk off to the mosh pit and try to find a more human ‘loving’ way to get rid of our anger. Perhaps that is the greatest testimony to humanities goodness after all – that we choose to find another way that is constructive.  Very few of us actually act on the voices.

Closing Song:  Slash Street Boys – “I’ll Kill You That Way”:

A little Halloween Humor to send you off today.  Enjoy the Week and Happy Halloween!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!