Love

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 7 – Painful Revelations

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 14th, 2019 (cont.)

I found my clothes on a table just outside the room and a couple of towels.  I was still a little wet from whatever process they had washed me off with, so I dried off. and then started getting dressed. It was then that I felt eyes watching me.  The Lioness of course and two other individuals – Lunette and Raven.

“Now all you ladies have me at a disadvantage.  You have now all seen me in the buff, but other than Lunette in middle school, I have not seen any of you in your natural state. Any takers?  No?  Well, excuse me.”

The three of them seemed a little self-conscious, so they looked away as best they could but I continued to catch glances.  I smiled.  Underwear, t-shirt with workout saying, socks, jeans, hiking boots, necklace with Valknut symbol, wedding band, sweatshirt hoodie with local university on front.

“Mr. Raby, do you use enchantments at all?”

“No, not yet anyway.  Never had he need, always focused my studies on how magic in and of itself could help me.  Enchantments are nice to have but they can be taken from you, if you lose what is enchanted.”

“You could do an enchanted tattoo”, Raven suggested.

“Yes, I could.  Combination of alchemy and enchantment and attached to my skin.  Might be worth considering.  Speaking of alchemy, nice bit of work there Lunette with the lipstick.”

Lunette looked down at her feet.

“Can I ask if the alchemy works on everyone, or it was just targeted to me?”

“Targeted. made the formula from a lock of you hair I took back in middle school.  I was surprised the formula hadn’t gone inert, but it was still active.”

“Shit knocked me out fast, figured it was targeted.  That long ago?  What was the occasion?”

“That day when we were freshmen in High School. When you grabbed my arm when I was being a bitch to you.  You basically told me to back down and I was pissed about it.  Wanted a weapon to target you.”

I nodded. I remember that day.  I said something to the effect that I was like crack cocaine to her, so she was vulnerable to me and needed to knock off the snotty bitch thing. Enough reminiscing, need information.

“Well, ladies what happened to the Red Tree Grove? Best theories please.”

Lunette spoke first.

“She must have decided to leave and give up immortality. Only thing that fits.  She didn’t pick a replacement, so her power simply diffused. The protective power was gone about ten years ago, so I went inside. The tree was still alive but barely.  Those three scars you helped heal.  Someone had opened them up again. Given that she was the only one living there at the time, she might have done it herself.”

“Well fuck.  Yeah, trying to break her addiction completely.  No tree, no drug. Where do you think she went?”

This time the Lioness spoke.

“We don’t think she kept her physical form.  We think she went completely spirit form.  It would allow her to possess any female she wanted, and keep a long life possible for her.  She could move from female to female and occupy them. Use them as hosts to live for a long time. Then move on.  Only problem is that every time she would switch she would lose a part of herself.”

“Any leads on that?”

“One, you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, the woman you had an affair with? She might have been one of them.  Highly likely.”

This stunned me for a minute, then.  Of course it would explain how could she have connected with me so well and so quickly and how I also had changed in my thoughts about her.  I mean up until February she was just another woman in the congregation, then that all changed.

“How much control would she have had? Over her host I mean?”

Raven spoke this time.

“Only when it was truly needed, she would be too weak otherwise.  Indirect influence most likely. The woman had her own choices, but perhaps there was a nudge from Elpis.”

I cringed at the name.

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, it’s OK. I have been running from this too long. I suppose it was inevitable that both Elpis and Miss Salty would be mentioned. Time to quite avoiding and face what they were to me.  Both loves of mine and lost.”

“I guess I would fall in that category too.”, Lunette injected. Sad tone in her voice too.

“Yes, you would and my wife now that she has been killed by the Council. I don’t have any loves that are not lost in some way now. I’m alone.”

Those last two words hung there for a minute.  Like a diagnoses of cancer said aloud. Lunette seemed a little pained by it.

Raven spoke first, “You might find love again.”

“Right now, I don’t want it.  It hurts too much; too risky.  Need to mourn my wife for a bit yet.  Promised myself, if she died I would mourn her for at least six months. It’s only been a couple. I honored our Christian vows when we got back together, would have continued if she had lived. I don’t really have that view anymore so my next love, if there is one, would have different rules.”

I turned to face all of them.

“OK, the only thing left for me is family. They will be in danger as long as I am alive.  What’s the plan?  What do you want me to do?”

Writer’s Notes: 

I know, I broke my initial rule about mentioning Elpis and Miss Salty. But it is time I faced down my real life actions and dealt with the emotions of this whole thing. 

For a long time when it comes to fiction I have been struggling to find some inspiration and I think it is because I have been avoiding this issue of late.  I need a new motivation, a new muse to write for. Instead I have been dealing with The Grey that results from emotional constipation. I think laying things out there ends the bullshit at least and now things can get flowing again.  Like an enema for my emotions. Gross but accurate.  

I write fiction from emotion.  It is definitely a more heart then through the mind thing.  Non-fiction is the other way around, so it is easier.  This last week has been me struggling to get past this and I think I have some relief at this point.  Still some things to work out, but I feel for the first time I can write at least a little more freely when it comes to fiction.  Hopefully I am right.  If I am, you all should be seeing more fiction from me very soon. 

Practically for this series, it eliminates the past almost completely for my alter ego. His decision to fake his death would mean; at least for a time, he would be walking alone and too busy for a relationship.  Not saying there won’t be something in the future, but for now love is going to be kept at arm’s length.

In real life, my wife (alive and well) and I have made a strong commitment to make our relationship work.  There are some more obstacles because of my change of faith and my attitude about a lot of things in general has changed as well, but we work on them.  It has been hard at times, but for he most part we are a loving couple again. 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Love: Mutual Essential Happiness

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I know I used a Robert Heinlein quote for the Pagan Pulpit this week, but I suppose it is also fitting that he comes up here, as love is the philosophical topic this week. Love for Heinlein was the idea that in order to be happy another person you cared for also had to be happy.  When both sides are concerned at this level with each others happiness, then love is there.

I feel the same trepidation in talking about Love as I do Fidelity.  I have never really grasped or been good at this love thing. Mostly because I am a little bit of a hopeless romantic when it comes to love. I have high ideals about it. I have discovered however that ‘love’ is not thought of as highly by others as myself. People use the word ‘love’ so often and so frequently it loses its meaning.

I find with love I represent the blundering idiot more than the person who understands it on a practical level.  Because of this, when love is lost by any cause, it hurts me – badly. It is in times like those that I find myself wishing my heart could be ripped out of my chest and removed all together.  Every time there has been that early struggle to just shut down all emotions completely and forever.  To go completely cold-blooded bastard, so I don’t have to be concerned with anyone’s happiness but my own.  But in the end the risk of love is far outweighed by the joys of it. At least when I find those joys.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I need love.  We all do.  As introverted and reclusive as I am, I find the need to feel that someone loves me.  I can face a whole day by myself and be happy with it, if I know someone loves me. I struggle with that though because my definition of love is so very high. My standards and expectations of love I receive is the same as I give to them.  If I am ‘all in’ with a person, I expect that in return and I need that to be true.

I need different kinds of love.  I need friendship, family love and the one I will be using the most in this post – love of the deepest nature with another human being.  In my case as a heterosexual male – love with a woman. It’s the love I need the most.

Wants (Freki):

I want love.  It has a lot of side benefits. For me, I find The Grey has no place in love. It isn’t there or does not affect me at all.  Love is the sunshine I keep in my heart where I smile even if the clouds are over me.  I can smile because the Grey has no power when I can feel that I am loved. When I know I am loved.  It is a want that is very strong, but it also makes me not think about what’s going on as much.

Reason (Huginn):

The wolves of love are easy.  The reason behind it is much harder. I have loved and lost several times both is romance and friendship.  Two times romantically were greatly significant to the point they were personally devastating.  I wrestle with the fact that I was ‘all in’ with these two women but it is clear by their actions, they were not.  It is hard when that other person’s happiness is so essential for your own, but then you come to the devastating realization that their happiness is not conditional on yours.  That takes some time to get over.

There is also trying to rebuild love. Yes, it is a real thing. Where history causes you to doubt love.   So you say it to each other multiple times every day, when you are alone you go through the box of all the notes she has sent you where she has written ‘I love you’.  You cuddle and kiss and make love and that phrase ‘make love’ has a whole new meaning because that is exactly what you are doing.  It isn’t about sex as much as making love.  To build it and surrounded it with wall and protect it.  It’s hard when you look at the damage at times, and see it is you who destroyed that part, and now you have to fix it. It is far easier to destroy than to build and that is especially true for love.

Wisdom (Muninn):

If experience makes one wiser, I can say for me love seems to be an exception to that rule. I find with love reason and wisdom seem to have little place. They probably should, but in truth we all seem to shoo the ravens away to follow our wolves of need and want. I can say that I am wise enough to really guard myself these days.  Despite my desires, I keep myself limited in who I love and why. I just know, if I am hurting I try to grasp love from somewhere and if the pain is high enough wisdom and reason are very hard to find. So, I try to deal with reducing the pain to stay in fidelity.

I suppose that is why when it comes to love I see that honor, courage and standing for truth are good emotional states as well as virtues.  Strong ones. They help with understanding love and keeping on the path despite my pain about it.  At the same time, it is this continued search for love that keeps me wandering and searching.

Conclusion:

Love is a funny thing.  It can scar you when you are the one concerned with someone else’s happiness, but they are not as concerned with yours.  But it also can bring joy, healing and strength when it is.  I don’t know if have really said much here.  I know there is a lot of emotion behind my words in this post today, but whether my philosophy behind love as a higher virtue is good I have no clue.  I am still learning.  As I said, I am a blundering idiot at times with love. But I keep walking trying to understand it.  I keep walking hoping to find the sunshine of love to keep my heart free from The Grey.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Epic Struggle (Part 1)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In Norse Mythology Loki has three children with a giantess who, as one would expect are not exactly nice children.  They are Fenrir, Jormungand and Hel.  Fenrir is the wolf that will swallow Odin.  Jormungand is the serpent who will be both defeated by Thor and be Thor’s demise.  Hel is the Ruler of Helheim and the end ruler of all people who die of natural causes. This week I am going to talk about the epic struggle I am having and use all of these as metaphors.

Fenrir is the wolf that will end it all at Ragnarok.  He will swallow both Odin and the Sun according to the mythology and end what was to change it into something new.  He is the wild foundation of nature kept now in invisible chains until he gets loose and destroys that which gives all life (the sun) and destroys all knowledge, reason and strength. (Odin).

My Fenrir is that which would cause me to compromise my inner sense of value, to act in fear or lie to protect myself.  Fenrir represents the forces of my life that would cause me to compromise my foundation.  Something I cannot afford to do.  To keep him in his chains and prevent him, from a long a possible, doing so is my goal with my Foundational Virtues.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I have struggled with Honor the past few days.  I am starting to get frustrated as to how little is happening in my life right now. The fact is this blog and doing the necessary things in life are difficult for me.  I don’t like my mental state right now about myself or my future. Fenrir threatens to engulf me. I cannot let that happen.

The blog continues to be my way of keeping to the path more than anything else.  I have found that there is an honor in creation and the discipline if sitting down to write every day keeps things remotely focused at least.  I want to get back walking and training for that long hike too.  I need more tools in my box to fight The Grey.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Courage is not as great a problem as Honor.  I feel like though Perseverance and Courage are overlapping right now.  I keep getting up, doing what I need to do each day, hoping it will get better. I am not sure sometimes if my getting up every morning is and act of courage, perseverance or both some days. The thing I am determined to do is outlast my own personal Fenrir.  The Valkyries can have me but not him.  I will work very hard to never be afraid of him.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I find myself silent a lot. Nuff’ Said.

I have written down many ideas for my non-fiction book.  The problem is the one theme that comes up over and over again is to write a book about religion and what a fraud it is. I also find the Nine Noble Virtues as a theme. I don’t know if either one of these is valid.  I am trying to be respectful of people who are religious, but at the same time I the fraud and bullshit of it all should be confronted and boy could I do that job. Particularly with Christianity.

Latin is probably going to have to be reserved for a three times a week thing on the weekly routine.  It takes up a lot of time than I expected but I have enjoyed the opening thoughts behind why I should learn Latin.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I am writing on Love tomorrow for Of Wolves and Ravens.  I will save most of my thoughts until then.  Love though is keeping me going right now at times.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This is working well,  I had no problems with it this week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Gods and Goddesses – Frigg: Mother Goddess

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg is the Norse goddess of weather and clouds.  Also known as Frigga and Frig. She is often depicted in white garments as such with silver and grey trims.  There is an aspect of being the goddess of change as well as she weaves the future as one of the practitioners of seidr, the Norse magic of divination. She is thus the goddess of weaving and fate. Change is also an aspect of weather and clouds so it fits her as well. She has a queenly air to her as well and this fits her role as the queen of the gods.

Just to reiterate what I said under the Goddess Freya, I don’t think Frigg and Freya are the same woman.  They have very different spheres.  Freya might be considered the aspect of femininity that is a single warrior maiden, the archetype of the shield maiden,  who is a party girl  The kind of girl a man wants around when he is single and sowing his wild oats.  Frigg on the other hand is very much that aspect of femininity a man wants to settle down and have children with.  One is the erotic expression of love and sexual desirability, the other is a good and loving  mother and wife. As I pointed out before one is Vanir and the other Aesir.  Each of them has different children and in Frigg’s case her son Balder is central figure along with her love for him on one of the main stories of Norse Mythology.

See the source image

Now it should be noted that Frigg has her own flaws. When her husband Odin was away and missing she did sleep with both of his brothers. This may be more of a reflection that the Norse people did not have as strong conviction about sexual fidelity in marriage as other religions and cultures. She has her warrior aspects as well, especially when it comes to defending or avenging her children.

Frigg’s symbols are birds particularly falcons and like her husband – ravens. There is a grass called Frigg’s grass that was used as a sedative for mother’s giving birth. Mistletoe is also sacred to her. A mother looking out for her children and her home is her aspect.

See the source image

Frigg’s one failing is that despite her powers of divination she could not prevent or reverse the death of her beloved son Balder.  This I suppose one of the great ironies of her story that she is both a mother and a strong one at that.  A powerful woman who weaves the tapestry of fate and yet despite all this she cannot prevent something terrible from happening to her children.  All her power and love is not enough.

There is definitely a lesson here for the mothers of her time when she was worshiped.  That even if a mother knows the fate of her children and is wise, understanding and powerful, misfortune can still happen to her children. In a world where children died much more frequently and early than today, this is a message designed to comfort mothers. If Frigg herself cannot stop her own son’s death, what makes you think you can?  No matter what, that is truly out of your hands.

See the source image

Modern depictions of Frigg are rare.  She of course appears in the Thor comics and the movies.  I can say this that she is definitely cast as a mother sitting at home rather than a warrior goddess like Freya is at times. A strong mother who runs her household well, who cares for her children and loves her husband is what she is an example of to others. A strong archetype and a common one in mythology.  You see much the same with Hera in Greek Mythology.

Personally, being a little pagan in mindset, I can respect the separation of femininity in Frigg as opposed to say the masculinity of Odin and Thor.  The one thing Norse mythology has is a strong set of expectations of what is feminine and what is masculine, without saying one is weaker than the other. Just very different chosen roles. Mother verses Father is definitely a dichotomy with Frigg and Odin and the Roles are very distinct yet strong.  Based on the mythology, the idea of more than two genders or gender neutral is simply not present. Rather it embraces the two genders as the way it is and exults both of their strengths. Frigg being the strong aspects of what it is to be female and Odin the strong aspect of what it means to be male.

See the source image

I think when you look at stories, the strong mother and wife is something that literature in general never seems to get tired of as an archetype.  Perhaps it is because all of us look back to some sort of strong mother figure who influenced our lives and so it is very relatable. We are all children, so Frigg appeals to us and our own sense of motherhood as a powerful force in our lives.

In my own writing Frigg knows the future but rarely gives it out because of her past experience. She has learned fighting fate is a bad way to go. Knowing the future does not help change it. She is loving and caring but sad, drawing strength from her husband and children.  Passionate and Powerful, but very much down to earth.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Walking On

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Happy April Fools.  That said you won’t get an April fools joke from me. I prefer a more traditional approach to All Fool’s Day.  Everything backwards or upside down.  Next year this will be my day to do something out of character and do something truly risk taking.  Smoke a Joint, Get Drunk, Go to a nudist resort, etc.  Something where I throw the virtues to the wind for one day and live life a little risky. Something where the socially unacceptable becomes normal for one day.  I have a year to plan it so this should be interesting.

This year, however, today marks the second day of my ‘walking on’  I have realigned my compass, taken a look at my map and conformed a more clear route and I am now taking steps on it. Journey of Life resumed.

Implementing everything is going to probably take the entire week to really get going.  I have tested the morning routine and it is solid like before. Now I have three days off from work from Tuesday to Thursday where I plan on implementing the rest. The problem of course with it is things need to be set up for some things to be routine. Learning Latin. for instance needs a little work to decided how to proceed step by step o the days off will allow me to do that. By the end of the week I should have all of that done and be moving forward.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I feel valued these days at work and by the few friends I have left. I feel positive about my future. I sometimes struggle with myself.  Throwing off the whole light verses darkness thing and just being a man walking in life as a human being has been a difficult but necessary transition.  It is also one where I feel far more at peace.

The daily blogging hits a half a year with this post. A milestone for which I am giving no fanfare. Half a year to go. To be ready for the hiking trip is going to require training and acquiring some gear. Planning and scheduling.  My walks at least three days a week are the first steps.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

The concept of fear being a choice has changed a lot of things for me. Danger is a real thing but fear is a reaction that can be controlled. I have a lot of things to do that will require courage in the next few months so I need to keep making these choices.

I did make one change to the goal here to make it one a year for the bucket list as many of my bucket list items are now more long-term goals. I actually have two that need to be completed by next year at this same time so this should be easy.  Hungary and Budapest awaits, but it will probably be a few years yet.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Honesty is really not my problem.  Bluntness is. I am glad I added the part about learning to be silent in the presence of Fools.  I find myself getting involved in less and less social media discussions. If it wasn’t for writing and memes I might not be involved at all anymore.

The writing schedule will be two days a week on the non fiction book (because it is a goal) and one day on the novel (because it is a bucket list item).  I had to dust off the Latin books and read the “How to do this’ section but I am starting to take baby steps.

Higher Virtue: Love:

When comes to Truth, Courage and Honor, I am definitely adding the notion of love here as I ask how these three express love all the time. It is a guiding virtue for me in these regards.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Love this now. It allows me to use the beginning of the day to think, plan an prepare. Not hard at all.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 2:1 – “People are Stupid”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text:

“People are Stupid” – The Book of Rabyd 2:1

Thoughts and Exposition:

We are with verse one of chapter two moving into a different realm of The Book of Rabyd.  Chapter one is principles I would say are universally or nearly universally true.  Chapter Two is points of wisdom which are more about life guides and coming to a better understanding of the world.  Not hard fast rules in chapter two, but definitely can be seen to be true most of the time.  We start with the simple three word Phrase: “People are Stupid”

One might say this is a pretty pessimistic view of people in general. This is not a statement about people and their morality however, just their nature. Terry Goodkind and his Wizard’s Rules impressed me in their quick way of getting to human nature and laying it out there plainly and bluntly.  I like someone who can take a concept and put it into a simple statement and “People are Stupid” shocks you ,and yet catches your attention, because you know in you heart it is true.  I have tried to put this idea into other terms or phraseology but it never has the force of “People are Stupid.”

Terry Goodkind though really doesn’t stop with just these three words. but in his book Wizard’s First Rule he makes several other points about it:

  1. Given proper motivation people will believe almost anything.
  2. People will believe something because they want it to be true or fear it is true. (Confirmation Bias)
  3. Peoples’s heads are full of things that they think is true but is in reality mostly false. (Cognitive Dissonance)
  4. People rarely can tell the difference between a lie and the truth, but they think they can. (Ego)
  5. Because of all this people are easier to fool.

You will note Terry did not say ALL People are stupid.  His assumption is that by understanding this rule you can rise above it yourself.  First you understand it for yourself that you yourself are stupid.  Once you get this idea that you are stupid, and need analyze your own thinking and beliefs for whether or not they are true, then you are very much on the path to understanding yourself and others better.  Stupidity is part of being a human being and once you get that part, the rest of the wisdom that flows from this foundation becomes easier to swallow.  Truth is found in understanding that even you can be subject to stupidity and that means re-thinking things regularly to make sure you are basing your understandings on the truth and not just what you want to be the truth.

There is tremendous power that you gain when you understand all of this and the challenge for the vitreous person is to not take advantage of it for malevolent purposes.  It gives you an advantage when you realize what makes people, stupid including yourself is Confirmation Bias, Cognitive Dissonance, and Ego. You can use this to help or harm.  lead people to truth to a lie.  Motivate them to great good or evil.

As a leader over the years’, I have come to realize the difficulty of researching and coming to know the factual truth at times, but knowing full well that to motivate people to act on it, requires a great deal of tapping into people’s ‘stupidity’.  Otherwise they will never be motivated to act.  Truth rarely motivates, passion does.  That is the challenge to be motivated by truth as a leader but tap into people’s passions so you don’t on the one hand mislead people, but on the other hand get them to act.

We may see Terry Goodkind again.  I am revising a lot of these points of wisdom and combining some of them so we will see.  However many of the Wizard’s Rules echo in a lot of them.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 2:1 – “People are Stupid”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements: 

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: ‘Radio Ga Ga’ – Queen (Live at Wembly London 1985)

I don’t really need to explain why I open with Queen sometimes do I?

Poem: “We all eat lies” – Dark and Twisted

No photo description available.

Meditation:

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Hard to find the right people.   Why? Because as we will see today – stupidity.

Song of Preparation:  ‘Vengeful One’ – Disturbed

The greatest thing that proves people are stupid is that they believe the media most of the time.  The media knows full well that people are stupid and take advantage of that all the time. They feed people’s’ confirmation bias and into cognitive dissonance all the time.

Text:

‘People are Stupid’ – The Book of Rabyd 2:1

Sermon:

We are with verse one of chapter two moving into a different realm of The Book of Rabyd.  Chapter one is principles I would say are universally or nearly universally true.  Chapter Two is points of wisdom which are more about life guides and coming to a better understanding of the world.  Not hard fast rules in chapter two, but definitely can be seen to be true most of the time.  We start with the simple three word Phrase: “People are Stupid”

One might say this is a pretty pessimistic view of people in general. This is not a statement about people and their morality however, just their nature. Terry Goodkind and his Wizard’s Rules impressed me in their quick way of getting to human nature and laying it out there plainly and bluntly.  I like someone who can take a concept and put it into a simple statement and “People are Stupid” shocks you ,and yet catches your attention, because you know in you heart it is true.  I have tried to put this idea into other terms or phraseology but it never has the force of “People are Stupid.”

Terry Goodkind though really doesn’t stop with just these three words. but in his book Wizard’s First Rule he makes several other points about it:

  1. Given proper motivation people will believe almost anything.
  2. People will believe something because they want it to be true or fear it is true. (Confirmation Bias)
  3. Peoples’s heads are full of things that they think is true but is in reality mostly false. (Cognitive Dissonance)
  4. People rarely can tell the difference between a lie and the truth, but they think they can. (Ego)
  5. Because of all this people are easier to fool.

You will note Terry did not say ALL People are stupid.  His assumption is that by understanding this rule you can rise above it yourself.  First you understand it for yourself that you yourself are stupid.  Once you get this idea that you are stupid and need analyze your own thinking and beliefs for whether or not they are true, then you are very much on the path to understanding yourself and others better.  Stupidity is part of being a human being and once you get that part, the rest of the wisdom that flows from this foundation becomes easier to swallow.  Truth is found in understanding that even you can be subject to stupidity and that means re-thinking things regularly to make sure you are basing your understandings on the truth, and not just what you want to be the truth.

There is tremendous power that you gain when you understand all of this and the challenge for the vitreous person is to not take advantage of it for malevolent purposes.  It gives you an advantage when you realize what makes people, stupid including yourself is Confirmation Bias, Cognitive Dissonance, and Ego. You can use this to help or harm.  lead people to truth to a lie.  Motivate them to great good or evil.

As a leader over the years’, I have come to realize the difficulty of researching and coming to know the factual truth at times, but knowing full well that to motivate people to act on it, requires a great deal of tapping into people’s ‘stupidity’.  Otherwise they will never be motivated to act.  Truth rarely motivates, passion does.  That is the challenge to be motivated by truth as a leader but tap into people’s passions so you don’t on the one hand mislead people, but on the other hand get them to act.

We may see Terry Goodkind again.  I am revising a lot of these points of wisdom and combining some of them so we will see.  However many of the Wizard’s Rules echo in a lot of them.

Closing Song: ‘Holy Diver’ – Dio

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and text

You are sovereign over your life.  Never forget that.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 8 – “I’m OK” and What that Means

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

I have a Of Wolves and Ravens post in the incubator but I am so focused on the realignment I am doing that I don’t want to rush it and fuck it up have it not be as good as it could be. I will post it next week but this week I have the time and the emotional state where writing The Grey and the Wayfarer’s latest installment.

“I’m OK.”

If anyone has ever dealt with depression or someone who thy love who is depressed; you know this two-word phrase (when people ask how you or they are) is one of the most challenging to decipher.  Sometimes the person is genuinely OK and they are telling you that.  Other times the non-verbal cues would tell you otherwise and you should listen to them and not the words.  Non-verbal communication rarely lies.  If you’re talking on the phone with someone with depression, you really have to rely on tone of voice, losing the non-verbal by not looking at them leaves you in the dark a lot.

There are probably two people in the world right now that will notice a short pause before I answer them when they ask – “How are you?”  That’s because with them, I have made a commitment to be absolutely honest.  That pause is me giving my soul a quick look and asking what the truth is.  If I say “I’m OK” to them, it true.  Everyone else, it’s not that I don’t trust you it’s…..  Well, I hope you understand.

That said, even when I say ‘I’m OK’ and am truthful about it, what does that mean? Well, I am not great.  I am also not depressed.  It’s really a state of emotional functionality.  I am broken but I can function. I can actually do pretty well, it is just I feel at times I am just marking time from one thing to the next.  Just existing.  I feel emotions, but it is a low-level emotion that is a combination at times of sadness/ joy and pain/triumph.  The best way to describe it is that my emotional lights flicker.  It’s like spring or fall between the seasons. It’s like the electrical system of my emotions has a short in it.

Doesn’t mean there is something wrong, but nothing is right either. ‘I’m OK’ is probably the best way to put it.

The cause of this is not so much I am wired wrong.  Probably the opposite actually.  I am highly wired and hard-wired and so like all things complicated – things go wrong easily and frequently:

1) I am emphatic.  I pick up people’s emotions and I find myself feeling what they feel.  You think that is great?  Try being a pastor for twenty years dealing with everyone shit negative emotional states all the time.  It’s drives you to introversion, trust me.

2) I don’t stop thinking.  From the moment I wake up until I go to bed, my mind is working. It’s fine when I have a problem to solve or something to think about.  It’s when I am bored or there is nothing to do that this really begins to lead you down some dark lines of thinking.

3) I have a near photographic memory for verbal conversations.  It’s contextual thankfully. I have to be in the place or similar place the conversation took place most of the time, but if I concentrate hard enough I can still pull it off.  It’s why I am glad I don’t live where I used to live or have to go to the church I used pastor.  Far too painful from the memory flood.  I have a hard enough time meeting people I used to know.  Yeah, that is enough of a trigger.  It’s why I really need a fresh start somewhere else still.

The cause of all this is of course wounds received at my own hand and the hand of others.  This time of year last year, I was forming a very tight relationship with someone.  My fault and hers that we ended up being closer than we should have been. I don’t really blame her or me anymore.  It happened, and assigning blame only really helps those who want to lie to themselves, so they can look themselves in the mirror. Or to look at me or the girl in the face again and still love us. Comforting lies don’t really help though. Just saying. We would all be better off facing the painful truth.

In one sense I look at my scars as the cause of this flickering emotion. Not so much the scars, as I wrote in my poem “The Scar”, but the seeping poison of a bleeding wound behind the scar – internal pain.  But I also know some of the deepest and still internally bleeding wounds were self-inflicted.  The ‘you’ in that poem has a lot of candidates, including myself.

I’m OK and I’m Broken at the same time. I wish there was some magical way to ‘get over it’ like people say at times.  But there isn’t.  I’m OK and I have to be OK with that.  I have to function despite the flicker lights and I do.  I have to for the sake of people I love and care for.  I have to love them when I don’t feel love and I have to love myself as well even when I don’t feel it.  I have to be OK, because sometimes its the best I have.

OK in The Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Truth

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

As I wrap up this realignment process and head into the final week, there still remains a lot to be done. This week I have to realign Truth, Hospitality and Fidelity.  Some of the tougher ones and the problem at this point is that there is not enough left on the bucket list or my list of goals and so some thing are going to have to be created along those lines.

In addition, my Morning, Daily and Weekly Routines need to be modified so that there are things on them that work toward achieving my goals and advancing toward crossing things off the bucket list.  I have made the decision to drop the Evening Routine. All I will basically do in the evening is brush my teeth and go to bed. Some of the things on it will be moved to the other Routines. I will be doing a special The Rabyd Skald post on Saturday to talk about the Routines specifically to handle that.

Things kick off on the 31st of this month so it is crunch time.

Truth is one of the virtues that has been troubling and difficult this past year. I have pretty passive about it as basically my principle was to simply pursue truth and discover it.  But this is not the focus of the virtue.  Rather it is about proclamation.  Something that as a former preacher I understand better than most. So time to change a few things.

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

The virtue as always is not the problem.  It’s application of it that is the problem.

Principle: To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

I use the word ‘Speak’ in the broadest sense of the word. To communicate with effectiveness has been a large challenge I have accepted in most areas of my life.  Effective communication is here but what is communicated is Truth. The form of communication does not matter – written, oral or other.  The issue is Truth being communicated effectively.  There is also learning when to be Silent.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

This goal is still probably not specific enough so I may further refine it a bit later.  The point is if I am going to proclaim truth on a larger level; than I have been recently, I need a platform to proclaim it from.  I am no longer a preacher but maybe down the road being a motivational speaker or life coach, but until then I need to know what my message is going to be and the focus of this first non-fiction book may very well be creating that message.  Starting now on a year-long process to create and discover this by writing a book might be the best way forward.

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Trying to add some sense of SMART to my bucket list items as well.  The biggest things I need in my life it seems are deadlines.  They keep me moving.  I haven’t dropped learning Hungarian just delayed it a year.  I will probably work on that 2020 to 2021 as my planned trip to Budapest will probably not be for a few years. This Bucket List Item may always be learning a language or a skill I want to just learn.  After Latin and Hungarian I might want to learn cooking or something.  These are the kind of Bucket List items that fit truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Just so people know when this post drops the blog streak will be nearing the half way point.  Yesterday the 200th post dropped on this blog. I would say we have gotten past the start and infant stage.

I really feel Honor is something I can now achieve and this realignment has really help me have a better sense of vision for my life which will lead to a better sense of being positive about my future. Which lead to a better sense of Honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

This Virtue now keeps me focused on the hard issues of achieving my goals.  It forces me to act and pursue them. That’s a good thing.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Last summer  was writing a blog called The Rabyd Microphone.  Don’t look for it. It’s been deleted.  The one thing about that blog that I absolutely insisted on was it was going to be raw truth.  People didn’t like it because there was one element about truth that I have now come to understand – If people are fools or don’t want to accept it – they will just get angry. So this blog is also committed to truth.  There is one difference, I now ask myself what good will done by stating the Truth and who will listen? In short, is my potential audience fools? If so, then I just keep some things to myself.

I like the changes here – gives me some things to shoot for.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage and Truth – Love in action.  I just need to identify what is worthy of my  love and act accordingly and things go right. When I don’t, things go wrong.  In know that seems overly simple, but it works.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I will be doing a special post on Saturday where my Routines will be Realigned according to all these changes.  The goal there is to take each bucket list item and goal and ask what part of any routine is working toward it. This really the final part of the overall realignment.  This means even though this Routine works the best, it might have some changes as far as addition.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Skald Tales and Poem – Poem – ‘The Scar’

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

“The Scar” by Edward W. Raby, Sr.  

“Time heals all wounds”

“Bullshit” I say

I have been down this road before

I have scars that still bleed inside

 

Internal bleeding of the soul

Seepage of pain within

Toxic soul-blood poisoning

Hidden behind my scars

 

The scar you left on me

Is like all the others

A covered scab

Hiding a slow bleeding wound

 

Another scar

Another badge of survival

The poison blood inside – fuel

The pain inside – motivation

Written by Edward W. Raby, Sr.  on March 15th, 2019.  Edited March 22, 2019

Author’s Commentary:

There are a lot of recent candidates for the ‘you’ in this poem.  Including the one who taught me how to appreciate and ‘enjoy’ writing poems.  In this case the quotes around ‘enjoy’ are probably stronger.  Normally a poem causes me to remember this person with a little twinge of joy and pain. This poem was one I needed to write but didn’t necessarily want to write. Mostly because it was like literally pushing on the scar in question this person had left on me, making it hurt just a little more than just a normal poem. She definitely fits the bill for ‘you’

That said, I think the ‘you’ could be several other candidates over the course of my life.  In any case the poem reflects my understanding that: 1) Scars are an illusion of healing. The wounds they hide never fully heal and often remain toxic and painful.  2) You just have to learn how to turn that toxic and hurtful nature of a wound received into fuel and motivation as you go forward. 3) Lovers and friends who betray or leave give us the most toxic and traumatic scars.  So underneath, no matter how much it looks outwardly you have moved on, they still remain a part of who you are. Even when you would wish it was not so.

Poetically, this was my first attempt in shortening my poetry.  Make the word choice more selective. Learning how to do this is a work in progress for me. As always constructive feedback on my poems is always appreciated.

Thanks for reading them,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!