“A Belated Father’s Day Post” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 12

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

I have been meaning to write this post all week long.  I have had three days off and still was not able to muster the emotional strength to do so.  My father meant a lot to me, words can’t express it, and every Father’s Day I wish he was here so I could say “Happy Father’s Day Dad, I love you.”  After a few moments of that wish, the sadness comes and I realize that I can’t do that because he is gone.

I had my first bought with deep depression after his death.  My first time walking the real Grey and I had the hardest time with it. I was in a depressed state for at least a year and I never really came out of it until I found someone who didn’t judge me for it but actually understood and helped me through it.   That person at the time gave me meaning and purpose again and I was able for the first time to stand and keep walking.

Looking back it wasn’t my faith in Christianity or Jesus that got me through it, just the need for purpose. Reaching deep down and find the reason to keep living when your depressed is hard but the only way to not let it beat you.  That is the key to getting past the depression of losing someone close to you – finding the reason to keep living and going on.  Once I understood this, I have walked the Grey ever since instead of falling victim to it like at that time after my father’s death. I had to do that a lot last year.

I had to take those life lessons and use them a lot last year. I think it created in me my personality that is unique and I had to use one of its strengths last year I didn’t expect. I have found that my personality has this thing called ‘ the door slam’ and it is very real.  When people are no longer part of your life because they have chosen to betray your friendship or walk away from you, you can slam the door in your mind on them and never look back as an INFJ.

One man in particular last year I did this to after I found out he used my trust of him and my love for my congregation and my flame against me to get what he wanted. I literally want nothing to do with him other than to hear that he has been found out for the fraud he is.  I will smile and clap at that moment and move on with lighter steps. But I am moving on without him and I don’t miss him. The door is slammed behind me for him. The only thing I really deal with now is the trust issues are higher because of him.

I can’t do this with people I love deeply.  No matter how bad they hurt me, I can never slam the door on them.  It is always open a crack. It makes me vulnerable to them which in some cases scares that shit out of me.  In other cases, like my father, the vulnerability turns to The Grey. The helpless vulnerable state of being depressed about missing them and not being able to do anything about it. I have been fighting it regarding my father all week long.

I am coming to the hardest part of the summer as memories of last year get really dramatic and my emotional swings from last year were very intense.  This makes memories of them tough and a swirling storm of The Grey I am walking through right now.  I wish it was late August as the memories start to get happier. But I have a couple more months of this to go.  But my father’s wisdom and the lessons I learned from his death and moving on from it are still with me.

Well, this is a father’s day post so allow me a moment of conversation with my departed dad.

“Happy Father’s Day, Dad – wherever you are. I love you and I miss you.  I wish you could be here to see what your grandchildren have become – they are all awesome and your great-grandkids are out of this world.  I feel they have all been robbed by not knowing you better.  I am fairly sure you would have spoiled them with your love by now.

I don’t know if you would be proud of me anymore.  I don’t really care in some ways about that.  I just wish you were here so I could say I love you and get one more of your monster hugs that would crush my chest. I feel that still when Ed, Jr. hugs me.  He is a lot like you. I wish you could have seen him play ball – you would have loved it.  He is becoming a great father like you. Justin is a hard worker like you and has made his own life which would make you proud.  Patience – well that little one year old you used to carry, is all grown up and taking care of your wife.  She lives in the house you used to call your home and now it is hers and I know you would be proud of that. You would be very proud of the woman she has become, I know I am.

I see bits and pieces of you in all of them.  Sparks of your legacy.  I love you and miss you, but every now and then I see you in them and you don’t seem so far away. Even little Otto has your eyes and your happiness. You still live in all of them.  For that, I am thankful to you and the father you were.

I love you, dad. I always will.”

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“April-June 2019 Assessment (Part Three) ” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

At this point, I can say I am Happiest with my self virtues progress. My diet is effective, exercise is solid, and loyalty to the few that have been loyal to me has been solid as far as I can tell.  My problem here is not that things are not making progress it is simply slow.  That said in such things slow progress is not only progress; it is normal. You don’t wake up one day and start lifting and a few hows later are ripped like Arnold.  It takes time and years of dedication to do that.

My main concern at this point is to move things from a weekly list to a daily one and to make a distinction between days off from work from days I do work.  I am trying to make this work with the idea I could change job and location and I still want all my Routines to be able to pick up and move and not miss a beat.

My tools for this remain what I call the self virtues.  Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity make this work for me.  Next week the actual changes will start taking place but here is some assessment of where I am right now.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

The goal here has been to be on a Paleo Diet and stick to it for a whole year.  No easy task but necessary. I never really started to see the fat melt until I got the Nutrition thing under control and that is not a just stop at the gym thing.  It is an every time you have an opportunity to eat thing, as it happens far more often. I need to really tighten this up with some new recipes and maybe some things that are more carb free than I am currently using. I need to do some research here.

The rebellious act is on hold but on my mind. 🙂

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

What I need to do here is probably walk on my days off for long distances.  It might be one of the few things I do on a day off but it would be effective this way when I have more time.  Want to start using a backpack with more weight in it too.

My mad money is being saved every paycheck and the next thing on said mad money list is my tattoo.  I know what I want (keeping it a surprise for you all) and I figure when I get about a few more months of savings it will be time to pick an artist and get a consultation.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The only thing left here is the genetic test and travel which requires time and a whole lot more money than I have. But I now have a lot of personal reasons to get my true family origins.  When much of your belief system has respect for ancestors in it, you need to find out who they were.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

With my self-assessment over at this point, the next thing to do is find the wisest path to getting this all done in a more time efficient manner. Wisdom is about balancing everything and getting my daily walk to be one of progress no matter how little progress there is.  At the same time, it is time to start taking bigger steps.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

I am thinking Latin and Writing will go Daily.  job Search will too but only until I find one then it can drop off the list but I need to get more serious about that.  I need a change soon as I am restless about a lot of things.  More on that later today in The Grey and The Wayfarer coming up.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Midsummer Blot (June 20-21)” – Odin’s Eye – Pagan Holidays

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day.  Happy Midsummer.  

Discussion:

Blot is actually, as I understand it, pronounced as ‘bloat’.  But this is a pagan holiday celebrated by nearly every European pagan tradition. It has many names and none of them are purely pagan in origin as Christianity has gotten ahold of a lot of it.  But mostly it is a celebration of the longest day of the year.  The high day of summer and then it begins to decline back into darkness.

There are a lot of god and goddesses celebrated and having a part in this festival. Balder as the god of light who was killed by Loki’s treachery.  Freya and Freyr are both honored as nature and fertility gods on this day.  Sif for her golden hair remembering the golden grain of wheat. Njord for fishing. Etc. In short, all the wondrous activities of summer are represented and are honored.  For the Vikings, this is the time of raiding too. For all pagans, it is the second most honored day of the year second only to the 12th day of Yuletide.

Lots of things happen on this holiday from feasting and rituals to honor the gods this day.  Lots of fruits, vegetables, and beer are consumed.  Flowers are used everywhere and the maypole makes another appearance reminding us that this is a fertility festival – so sex is also an undoubtedly part of this too. Think life and living it fully and you got the spirit of this festival.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

This festival has a lot of ways to celebrate it. From a faith standpoint, the seasons are one thing that seems to always be there for us in the northern climates. They would definitely be something to trust in and this celebration reminds me of that a lot.  Faith in the planet to provide is something that is most sure but also a little bit of belief at times.

Religion:

It is these holidays that push paganism to the edge of being a religion.  Asatru is a recognized religion in certain countries.  For me, it is not the religious aspects of Asatru that draw me to it but the virtues. That said, I know the power of having a community around you as you work out your faith to both support you and your life. Every holiday reminds me how much I am alone in this at least in my immediate family and other folks.  Once I have more certainty about where I am going to live and work it might be time to seek out a community for both learning purposes and that sense of community.

Theology:

I don’t know if the natural forces of this world are guided by nothing or some divine force keeps them balanced and going forward. What I do know is that there is something to be said for stopping and smelling the flowers and enjoying the moment’s life gives you and Midsummer Blot is a good time to do that and pause and meditate on how good life can be at times like this. That as dark and cold as winter can be, summer is bright and warm.

Spirituality:

There is a lot of spirituality to be drawn from life and Midsummer Blot is a festival that focuses on that. It is a time to reflect on life and living it fully.  It is a nice reminder of the life part of the cycle of life and death.  The fragile nature of life doesn’t seem as fragile on this one.  I can resonate in my soul the nice wonder of life and its fruits and joys. It does minister to me in a way I can’t describe and it is these holidays that cause me to have points where I reflect on the spirituality of life.

Conclusion:

So have a beer. Eat strawberries, apples and the fruits and vegetables that are ready.  Wonder at the crops that still grow.  Make love to your lover and remind yourself that life can be very good at times.  That is ultimately what this time of year is about.  It is the high point fo the sun and every day will get darker from now on, but the positive is the long night is still far away.  Enjoy the sun and the world around you.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“April-June 2019 Assessment (Part Two) ” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

As I continue to look at the progress of my goals and bucket list items, I am reminded that the whole point of doing this is I am building a new life for myself. All of this is about walking the path known as my life and making it new. It is why this quote from Socrates resonates with me so much.  I wonder to myself a lot if fighting the past is worth it and I say ‘no it isn’t’. So my focus in having goals and a bucket list is more about the new and building the new.  Central to that is the Nine Noble Virtues if Asatru and in the case of my new career and life involving the business of life – Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality take center stage.

At this point I can celebrate a goal achieved already this year but also a struggle rears its ugly head. Mostly, now that I have determined that goals need to have a year time limit I breathe a little easier but that is no cause to not try to do them sooner if possible. Let the evaluation continue.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

I am getting to the point of frustration with my job search in Michigan.  I think it is because opportunities are not what I am looking for in my home state.  I keep turning down job offers and opportunities from a friend who lives in Texas and I wonder why I keep doing so.  If it is a new life I am looking for I can’t think of any better way to do it than move 1000 miles away and start over. If I don’t find something by the end of June this goal will have to be reevaluated and I might have to have a long discussion with my family about how they feel about my wife and me living farther away.

Put a time limit on owning my business or company out 10 years.  Maximum limit but it needed to be done so I can look at this more objectively.  Deadline no matter how far out tend to make me work toward something more effectively.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

Goal achieved here and so I am ready to look for what is next.  I know I will probably further my education at some point again but I am thinking a new job for a year might be good right now to catch my breath and get a sense of a new normal before I begin pursuing another degree.

Writing comes up again, I am going to put a three-year time limit on the novel.  But from a routine standpoint, I think treating writing like a ‘job’ is a better call with it part of the daily routine in some way.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I may change this goal a little next week.  I am not sure if I want to lead or be a part of one or if it necessarily needs to be an official support group. What I think would be more beneficial and an opportunity to be hospitable is simply to join something that gives me a chance to be a part of something that is fun and promotes human relationships in some way. Could be a lot of things here, but recognize my need to be a part of a group that gives me a social life. Me being INFJ taken into account, I know this is true.

My own home.  It is a good thought and one I want to see happen within five years. I have lost a lot being in the ministry for twenty years and not owning a house is one of those things that is a consequence of that life.  New life says I want to own my home and secondly have it paid off by the time life makes me retire.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

My attempt in life and business is to treat people as best as possible.  To achieve relationships privately and in business relationships that are mutually beneficial and lead to prosperity.  Justice is about being as equitable as possible.  I still think that my goals and bucket list items reflect that.

Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

This list will get longer and my weekly list shorter.  But I am also going to do something that distinguishes work days from a day off work. More on this in a couple days as this affects the Weekly Routine the most.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Asatru and Truth” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Truth

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Truth is one of those Virtues that must always be present.  No moral code would have any value without it. It is difficult to be truthful at times especially when it is you that have made a mistake and someone asks what happened.  The temptation to lie becomes very real in those moments but the better path is honesty.  Plain simple honesty.

This honesty isn’t simply a matter of word, but of how you live your life.  Make no mistake there is no ridged moral code here if a lie preserves someone’s life then it is Ok to do so. It is also Ok to engage in deception in war or when someone is known to be treacherous then you can lie to them as a way of combating them.  But those are special circumstances.  In more normal circumstances, the virtues of truth and honor go together.  The advice here is if you wouldn’t want someone to know you are doing it – don’t.

Paganism also has this idea of each person walking in their ‘truth’ with a small ‘t’ but that has not dismissed the notion of finding The Truth with a capital ‘T’.  You might say as we walk each one of us in our truth we are on the quest to find The Truth.

In my case with this virtue, I have also added the notion of being silent in the presence of fools. A fool is someone who can no longer learn or be taught anything. Words and truth are wasted on such people who are proud of their ignorance.

Website: Ravenbok – The particular page is: The Values of Asatru

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

For myself, I find the pursuit of the virtue of Truth to be a challenge but desperately needed.  Lies told to one’s self are the most dangerous as they can be the most damaging. Truth is needed to clear the fog away from your path so you can see clearly.  The needs here is to be honest and say what one knows to be right and true not just to others but in the end the most important person to be truthful with is yourself. Something I hope to learn in a little more easier fashion than often is the case.

Wants (Freki):

I want the truth as a part of my life.  Lies and deception are very damaging and should only be present in times of conflict when you are dealing with someone who is trying to hurt you with lies of their own.  Otherwise to get to the point of progress requires truth to see the path clearly.   Lies and deceptions, particularly the ones you tell yourself, are the most deadly things in trying to achieve your goals and enjoy your life.

Reason (Huginn):

Reason and truth go hand in hand.  Reason simply does not function in the presence of lies. Leaving my faith was a direct response to the lies I found in the doctrines of it.  It was embracing the truth about something that was falsely claiming to be the truth.  Reason looks at truth with joy and so I do as well.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I have found the great wisdom in all this is silence. One should never be too bold in presenting truth because the truth is always a work in progress and what one thinks is the truth today can be found to be false tomorrow when the truth is fully revealed.  Arrogance is not becoming or valuable in the pursuit of either truth whether small ‘t’ or capital ‘T’.

Conclusion:

All that said, Courage kicks in when the truth is known and it needs to be said. This can be very revealing when those that are living lies get angry, defensive or just plain don’t say anything thus acknowledging their deception. Courage and Truth are a deadly combination to the lies and deceptions that surround us.  Never underestimate their power working together.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“April-June 2019 Assessment (Part One) ” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I divide the years into quarters.  I don’t start with January but April because my birthday is in March and that month basically marks the end of the yearly cycle for me.  The issues are at present 1) a quarterly review of progress to see how I am progressing toward each goal I have and 2) developing and adjusting my routines to achieve them. This week will be about the assessment and next week would be about making changes.

Overall I have been doing OK.  I have completed 2 out of the nine yearly goals so far this year which is on pace to have all but one of them done by March of 2020.  Mostly to achieve these I have to have something either in my daily or weekly routines to make this work. That way there is something going on regularly to achieve said goals.

In the area of changes, I want to do the following after almost three months of doing things the way I am doing them currently.

  1. I want to make sure that my Goals are yearly things and my Bucket List Items are more long term.
  2. I want to move as many things from the Weekly Routine to the Daily as Possible.
  3. I want to also introduce a simple concept – days off are different than days I work. I want days off to still be restful but productive in certain ways.

I am going to evaluate my progress here with each goal or bucket list item as far as the last three months and suggest some changes for thought that I will make next week.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

My goal of writing on this blog every day for a year is going very well.  This post, in particular, will be posting day number 260.  This is a case of if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

I need to set a time stamp on the Hiking Pictured Rocks.  I am thinking perhaps in the next three years. So it would be by March 2022.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

This goal of crossing something off my bucket list is coming along it won’t take long so another one that will happen this year.  It’s just a matter of time and I still have nine months.

I am thinking I can place my trip to Europe to retrace my ancestor’s steps under Fidelity with this goal and give them both the same time frame which would be by March 2029.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I need to make my writing time as regular as my blogging so I might just add it to right after my blogging time or maybe something like learning Latin in between as a break.  I need to move my writing from Weekly to daily. regardless of whether it is my non-fiction book or my novel.  I need to take my daily discipline of writing on this blog to writing in general.  If writing is going to be my second career, I need to make it a daily thing.

Latin is a bucket list goal with a year time limit, but I am thinking learning a language for the first time might take two years to be proficient. I struggle with this because learning a current spoken language would be more beneficial from a career standpoint but the bucket list is not about career.  It is about what I enjoy and want to do, so Latin it is.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Goals are about loving life. Enjoying it when you can.  So most of my goals here reflect that and I like all of them I just need to find better ways of achieving them.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

No changes here are proposed.  It is the one constant in my life right now.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Basic Pagan Principles – Freedom of Choosing Deity” – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Krigsgaldr” – Heilung

Good beat to this one. It’s actually in English so enjoy it.

Meditation:

Image may contain: one or more people, text and outdoor

This idea extends very much to a man’s religion and spirituality.

Text:

In all pagan religions, it is up to the individual to determine what Deity means to them, who or what Deity is right for them and how they ultimately develop their relationship with their chosen Deity. Pagans have many different ideas about what encompasses Deity and how their Deity is represented. It is up to the individual, through study of their religion, meditation and in some cases prayer, to determine what image of Deity is right for them.

Source: http://exotic-pets.yoexpert.com/exotic-pets-general/what-are-some-of-the-basic-principles-of-paganism-2192.html

Sermon:

I am very much interested in Norse Mythology. I love the stories of the gods and goddesses of that pantheon because they resonate with my northern soul and are very cool to put it simply.  The question comes: do I actually believe that the gods and goddesses of Norse Mythology – do they actually exist?  I would say a rational ‘no’ but at the same time, the pagan idea is that we all conceive of the divine in our own way and it is very possible that divine powers like the Norse pantheon exist.

In reality, we all do this to the divine, the pagans are simply honest about it. I spent 40 years as Christian and half that time as a pastor and I can tell you each individual Christian conceives of the god of the Bible in a very unique way.  What happens is each Christian resonates with a different part scripture, usually with a single author or book/passage in particular, more than others and they conceive of their version of the Christian god that way. If you talk to 100 Christians about a certain aspect of the biblical god, you will get 100 distinct answers.

Pagans just honestly say this is normal and that what is really happening with all of us.  They take the honest step and say each person’s view of the divine reality is going to be unique and that is what should be. Let each individual decided for themselves what the divine is like and how to relate to it. Talk about a spirituality form that doesn’t have the religious aspect of control to it.  The ultimate freedom is here where you get to decide what the divine might be like and how to both approach them and worship them if at all.

I don’t think it takes too long for people to see how I do this. I resonate with Odin a lot.  The pilgrim side of Odin in particular.  The wanderer looking for truth and knowledge where ever he can find them for me is a powerful and truthful image that relates to me very well. I don’t pray to him because it is my concept and I recognize that.  Could I go to a pagan blot and offer up a cup in his name? Yeah, sure. But it would be about community and reaffirming my commitment to the ideals I hold dear for my life.

Odin’s myth is the creator of mankind, so I can look at him as a diest would look at the divine.  Thankful for being created, but pretty sure he has more important things to look after than my petty stuff. I need to take care of that shit myself.  Going back to the Responsibility of Action as one of the other principles. Yes, I do conceive of deity in my own way, but as a pagan, I simply can also accept that others do the same and that is OK as well.  We all seek for the divine, if they exist, in our own way and it is not wrong just the reality of what we do as human beings.

If there is any lesson to be learned here is that we should all just relax when people have a different concept of the divine reality.  We shouldn’t force ours on them or accept it when they force theirs on us. We are all just pilgrims looking for the divine in our lives. We shape the understandings we have of that ourselves and that is alright by me as a pagan.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: 1 person, beard and text

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Covers Better Than the Orignal” – The Skald’s Lyre

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Saturn’s Day 

Musical Journal:

Cover Songs are something  I like to hear from time to time.  It is what causes me to remember that music is something that can connect with other people other than the original artist that did the song.  It also reveals from time to time that the emotions that the cover performer has are more closely connected to the song than the original artist.  When that happens the cover is often ‘better’ than the original. It is better in the sense that it speaks louder than original in terms of the strength and power of the message.

I have to say that a few covers have meant a little more to me than the original. So today’s List is cover songs that I find better than the original for the reasons outlined above.

Personal Significance:

Hurt – Johnny Cash: (Original – Nine Inch Nails)

You know a cover is better than the original when the original artist basically says: “That song is a Johnny Cash song now.”  For me, the whole idea of a man who has lost all that is really important to him but still has the other stuff, ‘my empire of dirt”, is a powerful metaphor.  One that I try very hard to remember.

Am I Evil – Metallica: (Original – Diamond Head)

I doubt very much people look up this song to hear Diamond Head play it.  It’s the live performances Metallica did when they were in their prime that people like to listen to.  you might even refer to the live performance of the big four of metal as well, but it is Metallica’s performance of this cover that makes my day these days.

The Sound of Silence – Disturbed: (Original – Simon and Garfunkel)

Now, I am not diminishing Simon an Garfunkel’s performance at all.  It is very haunting and wonderful and is one of those songs that you can’t get it out of your head.  What Disturbed does to this song si give it grit and power on top of all that.  They don’t take away from its wonderful quality, they add to it.

I Love Rock and Roll – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (Original – The Arrows)

Yeah, nobody has ever heard of the Arrows.  Joan Jett takes this to a new height of performance.  You believe her when she says it and it was a 1980s anthem.

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston (Original – Dolly Parton)

Dolly’s performance is memorable.  Whineys is unforgettable and it is her one of a kind voice that does it.  Yes, I know this song made the list last week, but that is just how good this cover is compared to the original.

Playlist:

The playlist this week is a little different in that each song will first have the original and then the cover.  You can listen for yourself.

Hurt:

Original – Nine Inch Nails:

Cover – Johnny Cash:

Am I Evil:

Original – Diamond Head:

Cover – Metallica:

The Sound of Silence:

Original – Simon and Garfunkel:

Cover – Disturbed: 

I Love Rock and Roll:

Original – The Arrows:

Cover – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts:

I Will Always Love You:

Original – Dolly Parton:

Cover – Whitney Houston:

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Marriage Balance” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I mentioned on Wooden’s Day that the struggle for me and my wife is marriage balance.  if you love someone you want them to be happy and the best way for you to let them achieve that is let them be themselves.  On the flip side, you got married to that person because there are things you expected from the marriage as far as what the marriage does for you.  What you expected the other person to do for you that would help you pursue that happiness.

For me, there is a lot of freedom I expect to be given to me and I work very hard to give a lot to my wife. At the same time, I know she expects some things from me and I from her. We wouldn’t have gotten married if there wasn’t something we were expecting for ourselves from that marriage that in some way contributed to our well being. We at least at the bare minimum expect our spouses to love and respect us.

my struggle is not to lose what I want to compromise to make my wife happy.  I know that sounds counter to what I just said but the problem is if you are miserable as a consequence of making the other person happy, then that is not right.  This is the problem because freedom and expectations need to be such that both people are achieving happiness.  That the other person’s happiness affects your own.

I spent three very long years doing stuff to make my wife happy which at the same time made me miserable so my struggle is not to repeat that. I don’t want to lose what I want out of life and my marriage to make her happy at my expense.  She loves me, so it should mean she doesn’t want that either. It is definitely one of those tricky things for us.

It is where the virtues of discipline, perseverance, and fidelity help.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Now I am not talking BDSM here with marriage and discipline. 🙂 I am talking about the regualar expression of love, affection, and renewal of the relationship that needs to take place on a daily basis.  If your spouse is the number one person in your life, then one of your number one priorities should be to express that every day somehow.  On your list of things to do this should be right up there as the number one relationship discipline of your life.

With my wife and me, this involves a few things.  For my part, I make sure to send her a text saying I love you every day.  I do this in person every day as well.  Now we have the possibility of us being separated for whatever reason which means a face to face phone call that day instead.  Every day we are together we also have cuddle and communication time which is mandatory for at least ten minutes. I know my wife asks me how I am doing most days because she knows I walk the Grey known as depression so she asks from time to time and really means it.  I do my best to answer absolutely as honestly as I can.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Marriages fail when all sides give up.  My wife never gave up once we split-up. She was getting close to it as we got closer to divorce but she never caved. Her failure was pretty much giving up on thinking she needed to still work at our relationship.  Part of perseverance is not taking things for granted including your marriage is strong.  Sometimes it just isn’t strong and you need to work on that.  Never assume that just because you have been together for a while that you or your spouse are in a good place.

In our case, the relationship was falling apart for years before my affair.  If it hadn’t been nothing would have happened because the strength of it would have protected it.  It was a weak marriage because both of us were dissatisfied with the other person.  Respect and expressions of love were very minimal. For me, this coupled with my personality type which is the kind that expects a lot out of relationships and needs a small amount of very close relationships and at least one intimate one to function, I was very lonely.  The rest is pretty much the anatomy of the typical good guy who has an affair.

Even after all that both my wife and I still decided to give it one more try and make the necessary changes. We got up after failure and kept going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The balance problem in our marriage is one of respecting the individual loyalty she and I should have for ourselves and what each of us wants as individuals; and at the same time, there is our relationship that requires compromise on that to maintain loyalty to the marriage itself. It is a balancing act where sometimes we give up something we want and other times, we give the other person the freedom to do what they want to do.   The real challenge is when what we want involves the other person.  Still a work in progress on this one as we are both trying to figure out a lot of things.

One note I need to make here is the mini-vacation was achieved. It was nice although every time we take one of these things, other issues get revealed that require thought and action.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom in marriage is a collective thing and each side needs to listen to the other.  Sometimes you are the one with the wise words, sometimes it’s your spouse. Balance is key the most in this regard. What I do know is that following the Nine Noble Virtues on my side has lead to some good things in my marriage.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

Next week I will be working on moving these things as much as possible to the daily list.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“People as Sacred” – Odin’s Eye – Humanism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

A humanist is a person who sees human beings and the human race as the central thing to solving human problems.  A pagan is a person who finds spirituality in all things.  I want to talk about how these two intersect.  For me, people are both the solution to their problems and sacred as part of the universe.  I don’t look to political or religious forces to solve human problems.  Both of those things tap into tribalism hard and push us to fear and hate one another. If you looking for the evil that might exist, you don’t have to look too far into any political or religious organization and you will find some.

As a humanist, I don’t think political ideology solves problems. Speaking as a political scientist, I can tell you that politics is about putting groups of people against one another to gain power, not solve problems.  Unless you see solving the problem as subjecting other people to what you think is right and forcing them, politics and government is not the way to go.

As a pagan, and former Christian, I can see how religion is used much the same way as it influences culture to label things ‘sinful’.  Once again, this is then used to put groups of people against one another as ‘the righteous’ put themselves against ‘the sinners’. Using shame, shunning and general looking down noses at others because ‘they don’t have the truth of our faith’, you can see once again how this is used to control people through fear and manipulation. Sorry, religion tends to create more problems not solve them.

It seems if human beings want actual solutions to their problems, they might want to look at themselves and stop joining religious and political groups that are not about solving problems but rather are about control.  Time for an alternative way of looking at people that might actually solve their problems.  Time to start looking at people as sacred.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

Having faith in human beings to solve their own problems is difficult at first.  Both the above forces fo government and religion do some pretty good PR to label some people as the problem and having the need for others to control them. I always marvel at political and religious leaders ability to label whole groups of people as the problem and not themselves of course.  They are the solution.

I can say that if you sit back and really think about it there are two things I can have faith in: 1) That things are getting better all the time for humanity, and 2) That a whole bunch of people are trying to convince you that things are getting worse for their own gain.  But if I look at it objectively and consider people being sacred. You can have faith in each individual human being to solve their own problems if they are given the freedom to do so. Letting people be themselves is the most sacred and loving thing you can do for someone else.

Religion:

Religion, in general, sees humans as problematic or having problems.  Paganism sees them as sacred. Not problems but wonderful parts of the universe. Religion involves chains and spirituality involves removing them.  The first step in seeing people as sacred is to stop thinking they need religion to help them overcome their problems.

Because each person is sacred, they hold within themselves the ability to solve their problems.  Religion always tries to get a person to look to the divine, or faith or something outside one’s self to solve the problems they have but in truth, each person’s decisions will either lead them into problems or out of them.  Religion makes a lot of false claims and promises they cannot prove, but one thing you can know for yourself is there is always a better path that you can take as a human being if you tap into it.

Theology:

What needs to change is our understanding regarding humanity.  As a Christian, I taught mankind is sinful and only god can get them out of the problems that cause. The problem is there is no evidence that sin even exists outside the say-so of the Chrisitan preachers. That theology certainly does not look at people as sacred, that is part of the goodness that is creation.

As a pagan humanist, my viewpoint of humanity is very much changed.  Each person is unique and the most sacred thing they all have is the ability to choose their own direction.  To choose their own path. It is this that must be guarded and protected as the previously mentioned forces of politics and religion will always try to take this away.  What makes a person sacred is their ability to sovereignly choose for themselves the path they want to walk.

Spirituality:

The spiritual side of all this is that to walk this path we have far more going for us in helping us to do do this.  That in addition to their being a rational and logical side to life, there is an emotional and passionate side.  There are also the factors of driving needs and wisdom gained through experience.  All these combine into a spiritual walk that allows us to use all we are as human beings to set and guide the choices we make.

Part of that is respecting that people are sacred and walking it as a spiritual path is to guard it for ourselves and respect it in others. To interfere in a person’s choice, even benevolently, is to look at them without this respect for the fact that they are sacred and what makes them sacred is their ability to choose for themselves what path they are walking.

Conclusion:

In the end s much as sometimes I can think people are stupid in their choices, I respect that their ability to choose is sacred to them.  It is what makes each individual unique to me and worthy of a measure of respect.  Now, this doesn’t mean all choices are good ones or even benevolent and some choices can be stopped if they violate this principle.  A choice to force, coerce or defraud someone is one that does not have this respect of another person’s sacredness. It should be stopped. But there are many choices that I would not make but they are not violating the principle of sacredness so I should not interfere.

It is amazing to me what peace of mind comes when you leave people to be sacred in their own lives. The freedom from the desire to control and manipulate is a wonderful one. It also brings about the simple truth about yourself – you are the product of your choices.  Those choices are sacred no matter if they were good or bad because as a human being you made them.  That is freedom with responsibility.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!