The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 47 – Enjoying Humanity

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Voices:

I have been listening to this one a lot this week.  It kind of goes along with the theme this week, so I will keep the commentary about it until the Sermon.

Poem:

“My Soul Has Eyes”

The Mirror to the Soul

So they are called.

I can’t see my own

unless I look in the mirror.

I wonder what part of my soul people see?

The part of my soul that is tired and depressed

The part of my soul that has regrets

The part of my soul that bleeds with wounds new and old

The part of my soul that is black and dark

or the part that shines in hope and love.

I wish I knew what people see in my eyes

What part of my soul is laid bare.

– Ed Raby, Sr.  – October 25, 2018

I must confess my writing of poetry is bitter sweet.  It enjoy it on the one hand because it allows me to express feelings in words that normal writing doesn’t do.  I need that from time to time.  On the other hand the memories of the person associated with me learning to write poems better and understand them better comes up every time I do it, and that just makes me sad.  I guess it’s something I just live with, because I can’t seem to stop writing them from time to time.  Sometimes its the only thing that works.

Meditation: 

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I post a lot of memes and sayings on Facebook.  Just so everyone knows, the Meditation for the week usually comes from one of them I posted that past week.  It’s the one that meant the most to me.

Song of Preparation:Van Halen – Love Walks In:

The story associated with this song for me is that I was standing in a convenience store a little after my wife and I started reconciling.  This song came on and the guy behind the counter was singing it.  I joined in; which is not something I normally do.  The guy behind the counter stopped to listen to me and asked if the song meant something to me.  I told him until that moment, no.  But now it did.  Not only did it reflect at the time the new feelings of love I had for my wife but there was a very human moment there with that guy.  Humanity didn’t seem all that bad to me at that time.

Text: Havamal 47

Young was I once, I walked alone,
and bewildered seemed in the way;
then I found me another and rich I thought me,
for man is the joy of man.

Sermon:

It is really hard to be objective about the nature of humanity.  Most of us think humans as a rule are not the greatest thing to ever happen to us.  Some people I imagine love people, but there are a good chunk of us that have problems with humanity.  Some of us, like in the video of Disturbed’s song ‘Voices’, have our fantasies about getting back at the bullies, getting revenge on the girl who dumped us or tying up a difficult boss.  It truly is freaky shit that we think of sometimes isn’t it when it comes to how we would like to respond toward some people’s actions toward us.  The voices are pretty convincing that even we are not all that great.

If we were honest though, most of the people in our lives are a lot like us.  Just trying to make their way in the world and do the best they can.  Very few people in our lives actually deliberately try to make our lives miserable.  There are a few, I will acknowledge that, but for most part, people seem decent enough.

I think this is more evident if you have ever been lost alone away from people for a while or wonder if you can find your way back to them.  I have had this experience at least twice.  It is an intense relief when you actually find another person.  I get what Odin is saying in Havamal 47.  Like it or not we need our fellow humans and very few of us are misanthropes.

In fact, I would argue that many times at our lowest point it has been someone else who helped us out of it.  Some person who saw us in our suffering and actually stopped to help, or as we wandered we ran into someone who inspired us. I would say our positive encounters with humans actually probably outweigh our negative ones.

At the very least we become like the guy in the Disturbed video of ‘Voices’.  We drop our anger and desire for vengeance and simply walk off to the mosh pit and try to find a more human ‘loving’ way to get rid of our anger. Perhaps that is the greatest testimony to humanities goodness after all – that we choose to find another way that is constructive.  Very few of us actually act on the voices.

Closing Song:  Slash Street Boys – “I’ll Kill You That Way”:

A little Halloween Humor to send you off today.  Enjoy the Week and Happy Halloween!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 3 – Awakening (Wayfarer)

Happy Saturn’s Day

The man in the bed stirred.  It was the first time he had moved on his own power since the whole thing began.  His eyes fluttered open but he immediately shut them again.  Things were too bright.  Gods his head hurt.  No telling where he was now.  He was either in his intended destination, the hospital or the morgue. If the last was true, he was waking up to what lies beyond the veil of death and that brightness was the afterlife.

Somehow though he suspected that it was not the afterlife or the hospital.  You don’t hear the sounds of lovers making love in a hospital that often and he could smell smoke of a fire. No, unless something truly unplanned had happened, he had arrived in his intended destination.  He just couldn’t move or speak or see it in truth yet.  He opened his eyes once again and the blur came into focus.

He was in a room with a bed and a wash basin on a small wooden stand.  There were  towels draped over the stand as well and the fabric was exquisite.  Not made by a machine but much better in many respects.  He tried to move his arm and succeeded only to lift it a little. Then he looked a little to the edge of the bed only to see the face of a huge white wolf staring back at him. Their eyes met and strangely he didn’t feel afraid of the wolf.  The wolf looked at him for a few moments and then walked out of the room past the curtain that separated it from the main room.

A few moments later a large man entered the room. He was muscular but looked older with hair that was white.  He only had one eye and the other was covered with a patch. He was wearing a simple grey tunic and on his shoulder was perched a large raven.

“Well, you live after all.  I will wake up my wife and she will tend you,” the man said in a commanding deep voice.

Then he disappeared.  The man stirred a little more and after a couple of minutes a woman in a white dress came in. She was blond, blue-eyed and stunningly beautiful.  She smiled at him but he could see a knowing sadness behind her eyes. He wondered about that, but she came along and sat beside him and touched his forehead and chest.

He couldn’t get over how beautiful she was.  Her proportions were perfect and her skin flawless.  He eyes were stunning like they looked right into your heart and her golden hair radiant beyond belief.  No super model, with the most skillful of Photoshop work done, could look like she did.  It was then he realized his nakedness under the blankets and began to feel a little self-conscious.  She smiled again.

“Be at peace, you are safe here,” her voice was like soft music.

She leaned a little closer like she didn’t want to be overheard.

“Besides, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

He blushed slightly and found his hand absent mindedly going to the Thor amulet around his neck.  It was still there.  He wondered at it now as the story that had been told him had been true.  It was magical.  It had drawn him to this place, wherever that was.  He began to relax a little more.  It was hard not to do so in this woman’s presence.

“You know you have been under my care for a day and I still don’t know who you are?  Can you speak?”

The Man looked at her and smiled.

“My name is Beorn Erickson. I guess you could say I am a scholar of sorts”

“Well Beorn, I am Frigg, goddess of motherhood and home. Welcome to our home.”

Beorn didn’t show any reaction to the statement that she was a goddess.  He actually  relaxed even more. The amulet had worked and now he could move on to other things.  He decided to choose his words carefully.

“So the mythology isn’t mythological after all.  So the man I saw; he is Odin, the All-Father?  Your husband?”

Frigg raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, he is Odin.  All Father and King of the gods of Asgard. It is not often that mortals hear of the gods and react as you do.  How is this possible?”

“You could say I have been looking for you.  Mostly though I wanted to prove this amulet worked.  The magic in it is unique and very powerful.  Besides if legend is correct, the gods and goddesses of Asgard prefer actions of worship, not the groveling prayers of other religions.”

“A wizard, not just a scholar then? My husband might be very interested in that.  He is a wizard himself and a warrior.”

“Yes, some of the legends and stories remain.  Many are lost though.  I guess you could say this was a research trip in that regard.”

“A seeker after knowledge.  Yes, My husband will respect that.  The issue he will have is whether or not you are willing to pay the price for knowledge that is sometimes needed.”

“Yes, those stories remain.  His hanging from the world tree and his sacrifice of his eye.  They also speak of your powers to see men’s fates.”

Frigg’s smile faded; but it was not anger that replaced it, but a sadness.

“Yes, I can, but it is not very helpful.  There is little that can be done to change the fates of men.”

Beorn decided not to press this.  He knew she was speaking of her son Balder and he didn’t want to bring up painful memories.

“Well, I suppose that would be a heavy burden to bear. I didn’t mean to cause you sadness.”

“No, it alright.  It was a long time ago that I lost Balder…that Asgard lost Balder.  You seem strangely emphatic for a wizard and scholar.”

“I wasn’t always a wizard and a scholar.  I once was a priest. A Christian priest.”

“That explains your gentleness.  You gave that up?  I wonder what reason you could have for that?”

“I am not very good with celibacy for one.”

Frigg laughed and Beorn with her.

“I can also say that celibacy would not allow you to share one of your better assets with the world either.  You shouldn’t deprive women like that.”

They laughed again.  Beorn felt so at ease in her presence.

“I imagine though that there are other deeper reasons.”

“It was the beliefs.  The god of the cross doesn’t make sense to me anymore.  So I went looking for others.”

“Well, it seems you found a couple.”

“Yes, I have. The amulet worked and drew me to you.”

Frigg paused.  The two looked at each other for a moment.

“Well Beorn, I can’t see that you are ill or in any way sick.  Just drained of energy.  I will make some food to help with that, and bring you something to drink.  My husband will want you fully rested and restored before he speaks with you.”

She got up and headed toward the curtain.  As she started to pull it back, Beorn spoke once again.

“Frigg, thank you for your hospitality. There was one other reason I left the priesthood.  Love.”

Frigg smiled.

“I would say that was related to the first reason you gave, but I understand. I suspect you broke her heart or perhaps…”

“She broke mine.”

“Ah, well perhaps you will find love again.”

“I hope so, it’s a good thing to be in love but also dangerous.”

“Yes, it is.”

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 95 – The Unattainable Desires of Life

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Open Song: Halestorm – Amen

It is no secret that I gravitate toward songs and bands who speak about faith and religion and so this song by Halestorm is sort of one of my anthems from time to time.  The words speak to me and definitely get my ‘Amen’.

Poem:

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I will leave the poetry to The Ruined Man this week. Definitely my thoughts about myself this week. There are simply some things that have to be dealt with alone.

Meditation:

I am not a big one for fate.  I think we make our own luck and our own success.  This proverb definitely resonates with me.

Song of Preparation: Smash Mouth – Walkin’ On The Sun:

Some things are indeed impossible and other things make you shake your head.  Smash Mouth seems to get that in this song.

Text: Havamal 95

Only the mind knows
what lives near the heart;
a man is alone with his own spirit.
There is no sickness worse
for any wise man
than to have nothing to love.

Sermon:

There are a lot of different ways to translate this Stanza but for me it reflects that only each person knows what he truly desires but there is no sickness worse than desiring and loving that which you cannot have.

I suppose it might be speaking to that old adage about youth being wasted on the young.  That once you figure out what you should do with life, you don’t have the energy or the time to obtain it. Maybe.

For me this speaks more to the sadness that can sometimes develop when you finally realize what you want, but there is no way to get it.  I have experienced this many times and I have come to realize that in those moments, it is often time to change our desires and focus elsewhere.  If there is any wisdom in discovering a desire is unattainable; it is the wisdom that says move on and continue to live life.  Something else will come along that is attainable.

If you can’t do that well there is a sickness of soul that will come over you known to me as The Grey and to others as depression.  It’s amazing how as we get older depression gets more common and I can’t help but wonder if it is this finally figuring out what life is about and yet not being able to attain it.  I hope that whatever you and I desire it is attainable. Such a sickness is more than I have been able to bear at times and I wish it on no one.

I could go with the other interpretation of this passage which says there is nothing worse than to grow old and have nothing to love. I would agree and I feel this is why most people die in a lack of hope.  They stop having something to love and without that, there is little motivation to keep on living.  It’s why I want to keep a bucket list in front of me forever.

I don’t know.  For me personally, it is the truth that no one knows what is on the heart of a man or woman other than that person themselves that is the glaring truth. A person could tell you the whole truth about what they want but the truth is that what they want is actually deeper still.  It’s good to remember that the closest council any man keeps is with himself. No person reveals all of what they are and that is a good thing to remember.

Closing Song: Monty Python – The Meaning of Life:

May you unravel the meaning of life and live it fully.  May all your desires be attainable.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 2 – Frigg’s Vision (Frigg)

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg stood on the porch of her and her husband’s cabin.  It wasn’t much, just a few rooms and a central chamber with fireplace.  Not that the cold mattered to her or her husband as being immortal, cold was simply a hardship to be endured.  The other two rooms were a large bedroom for her and Odin and another bedroom for guests.

She stood puzzled at her thoughts and feelings that morning, a stern look on her milky white face.  She brushed back her long golden hair as the small but steady breeze kept pushing it in her face.  He ice blue eyes scanning the edge of the woods waiting for her husband’s arrival.  She knew he would be bringing someone with him.  Someone who was going to  change everything. She after all was a practitioner of seidr, the magic of fate.  She didn’t use often anymore.  Knowing the future of a person and their fate was, as she discovered, an awful burden to bear.

She used both hands to brush down her dress which was white and made of a slightly see through fabric. She wove it herself. Her body was perfectly curved and her proportions would have made any artist long for the chance to paint her.  The dress she wore shimmered and on occasion one could see her skin underneath.  Perhaps her sister goddess Freya would smile at her lack of modesty in her choice of dress. Freya being the goddess of sex and love was rarely modest about either subject in both action and words.  Frigg was the mother goddess and so hearth, home and marriage were her domains.  A wife should be modest but she was with her husband alone so modestly was less important.

Frigg however was unconcerned about the opinions of another goddess.  Right now her concern was on a vision she had of her husband finding a body on the beach.  She could see the body of a man whose fate was one to bring change to the gods.  Great Change. She could not as usual see all the details. Only that the man over her husbands shoulders was fated to bring change. What and to what extent she could not say.

In a few moments, two ravens appeared and flew to her.  One landed on her forearm.  Huginn.  He whispered to her and she smiled and nodded.  Huginn flew off and joined his brother Muninn.  In a few more moments, she saw her husband and the wolves round the bend of the beach and start approaching the house.  Odin walked with confidence and assurance of the king of the gods.  Her heart always swelled with pride when she saw her husband.

She frowned when she turned her attention to the naked man he was carrying.  Odin’s wolves ran ahead and greeted Frigg and she greeted them back.  Odin’s stride closed the distance between them.

“Frigg, I have a man who needs your attention.”

“I know, but relax his fate is not to die.  Rest your mind, hansom husband.  Take him inside to the guest room.”

Odin sniffed a short snort and carried the man inside. His wolves followed him in and the ravens flew through the open doorway.  The ravens found their place on the fireplace mantel and the wolves lay by the fire in front of two chairs that faced it.

Odin and Frigg then placed the man under the blankets in the guest bed.  Frigg smiled at the man.  Older but still fit and….well equipped.  Freya her sister would laugh to know her thoughts.  Odin smiled at his wife and Frigg actually blushed.

“Looks like I am going to have to get my wife to forget something she saw tonight.”

“Fear not husband, I was only smiling at what Freya would think of our stranger. But still it has been a few days since we…”

Odin laughed and slapped his wife’s backside to which she blushed again and grinned at him.

“Tell me wife, is he the one?”

“Yes, he is fated to bring great change to the gods.”

“Ragnarok?”

“His thread of life ends at the same time your’s does, my love.”

Odin’s smile faded.  His vision of his end was the eyes and teeth of Fenrir the great wolf.

“My love, that does not mean he will cause Ragnarok, just that he will be there at the end of the world. I caution you my love, remember we can think we are stopping fate by our actions but in truth we are actually making it sure.”

“I know, Fenrir taught me that.”

She nodded.

“What’s wrong with him, my wife?”

“Nothing, there is magic at work here my husband.  I need to open my seeing eye.”

Frigg’s face went blank.  Odin waited knowing that she would see a vision of some sort. He hated this part of it though.  There was always some fear in his heart that the love of his life would stay in that glazed over state forever.  But once again she returned.

She turned to Odin.

“It’s him.  The Grey thread, the Grey Wayfarer.  That amulet has allowed him to cross the barrier into our world from his.”

Odin grunted.  Damn.  So change and perhaps Ragnarok after all.

“Well, there is nothing for it my wife but to set him on the path he must walk.”

Frigg frowned, “I know but…”

“Sorry, my wife.  I believe at long last our end has come.  As you said to fight fate might bring it about and hasten it.”

“Should we tell him when he awakens, my king?”

Odin was taken back.  Frigg never called him ‘my king’ anywhere except in court at Valhalla.

“Nothing my queen.  It would only bring on the risk of hastening fate as well  No, we tell him nothing, equip him and then set him on the path.  He must walk it himself and that will bring about the end quick enough.”

Frigg rose to her feet and then walked to her husband and put her arms around his neck.  She kissed him deeply and his arms when around her.  He pulled her close, and when their kiss broke, she whispered in his ear.

“Take me, my love.  Make love to me like it is the end of the world.”

“I shall my love, because it is.”

Odin scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the room and into their bedroom.  There they made love as only gods who are finally facing mortality can.  After her husband fell asleep, Frigg lay there naked in the darkness for a while but couldn’t sleep.  She left the bed and wandered to the guest room where she looked at the man again.

Tears filled her eyes.  She didn’t know who to weep for more.  The gods who were about to face mortality or the man laying in the bed in front of her.  His fate would end with theirs, but the pain he would suffer would be more than most gods could endure.  Yes, the gods had good reason for sorrow.  But the Grey Wayfarer… may the gods have pity for him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Bucket List

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

The Routines are finished and I have my principles and goals written down.  This leaves my Bucket List, Weightlifting Plan, Diet and Budgeting plan.  The three plans I will deal with next week, but today is the Bucket List.

For me a bucket list is a list of important side quests. It’s what I am doing to enjoy life.  I have done one before and there were some raised eyebrows about some of them.  The issue for me is not to be the straight arrow I was before as pastor.  I don’t wear a white hat nor do I wear a black one. I just want to live my life and wear a grey hat while doing it.  The Bucket List is the best reflection of this.  It’s not about goals so much as enjoying life as much as possible.

Bucket List

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.  Perhaps as part of one of those River Cruises that go up and down the Danube River. I loved that city but I just didn’t have the time to explore it fully.
  2. Get My Tattoos.  I actually have four planned for myself at this point and a joint tattoo which my wife agreed to get with me. 1) Valknut Based Tattoo on my right hand or forearm.  2) Double Ravens on my right shoulder 3) Double wolves on my left shoulder.  4) Broken Celtic Cross in the center of my back. 5) Joint tattoo with my wife.  She has agreed to something small but in a noticeable place.
  3. Actually get drunk – I am a big dude and do drink but I have never gotten drunk as far as I can tell.  I just don’t know what my limit actually is because I have never arrived there.
  4. Smoke a Joint – this is conditional on my state legalizing MJ in November but I do want to try it once.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  This needs to be my first true hiking experience.
  6. Write My Novel – Needs to be done.  Not just the National Novel Writing Novel that I did finish but a true novel 90-120 thousand words and submitted for publication.
  7. Learn Latin – I actually have Wheellock on my shelf.  The book the workbook and the reader.  I just need to discipline myself to do it.
  8. Learn Hungarian – I would like to go to Budapest and speak the language if possible. Yeah that’s two languages.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs. This is really three in one but hey it works. By the way this is for reps in my current routine.  So last set at least four reps for each on a 4 x 8 which is the minimum reps on the last set without me dropping back.
  10. Start my own business – This is the eventual goal  under my business virtues.  I would like a bar with an attached BBQ place. Another option is a bar, coffee shop, bookstore combo.

The rules of course are once one thing is completely done, to cross it off and add something new if I fall below eight things. I plan on dying with a bucket list in hand still with things on it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The Routines are all in place and now the great challenge is to get things done every day.  Planning phase over basically, now it’s time to make it happen.  The real discipline issue now is school work.  It usually isn’t a problem when I find the personal motivation but this is my last semester and I have a large case of last semester drop off. It is something I fight everyday.

One other thing that dogs me is thinking on the past.  It can really steal my time and I need to be more proactive on stopping that from happening.  It’s hard because I have guilt plus a lot of wounds inflicted to deal with.  Not everything has scared over and some sometimes I still bleed a little.  But I keep going, I just need to find a way past it all and get on with things. Certain thoughts and dreams make that hard is all.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

A thought struck me when I was meditating on this virtue the other day.  It’s not just that you keep getting up, but it’s also how you get up that matters.  Sometimes when you get back up it’s not time to take another hit but heal.  Strategic withdrawal is sometimes necessary.  You can always exercise courage another day.  In large part that is what me and my wife have been doing.  With drawing after our marriage got knocked down and trying to heal it before we go on. It’s working so far.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

My loyalty to my wife is high.  I mean what other level should I have given that after cheating on her and telling her that I didn’t love her anymore but the highest; when despite all that she continued to love me and forgave me?  She demonstrated fidelity to me even though I wasn’t being loyal to her.  I don’t get it but she is something special and she is loved and respected by me.

My family, my few friends know I will be there for them. I have been at my current job long enough to develop loyalty to my team that works together.  It’s nice to have coworkers again.  I don’t really have a faith to be loyal to yet. I also am more dedicated to the principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness than I am the current crop of leaders that have played games with those rights all my life. Ultimately, I am loyal to my code and my philosophy.  That’s enough for me right now.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Daily Routine

Geri, Freki, Hugin, Munin... Valknut

Happy Moon’s Day

With my Morning Routine set up, the discussion turns to my Daily Routine.  What is the stuff I do every day?  Well, probably what I would like to see every day at this point.

Daily Routine:

  1. Blogging – the general target is to have three posts cued up in the scheduled list by day’s end and four others in the draft file in various stages of construction.
  2. Reading – 1 hour per day.  Right now this is taken up by school, but eventually I would like this to be free to read what I want.
  3. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed. This is currently on my list because of school.  I think it might stay after school is over because I will be using it for research or for writing things for publication.
  4. Empty In Box – I have a box on my desk that I put stuff in that requires my attention.  The goal is to have it empty at the end of every day.
  5. Financial Transaction input – I try to put all financial transactions for me and my wife in my computer each day.  It doesn’t take long.
  6. Communication / Cuddle Time – I try to do this with my wife every day for at least a half hour. Sometimes our varied schedules make this difficult.  It is actually the number one thing on this list and gets done when there is time.

None of this stuff actually takes very long other than the time limit stuff.  My goal is to have it done each day, so every day I am finished with things and making progress.  That the administration of life is kept up with every single day is the major goal here.

Mostly this is only problematic on days where I have both work and class.  On those days free time is at a premium.  Otherwise I have time to do all of it.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

At work and school I guess I feel that inner sense of honor to a point.  People at both places value my contributions and that is good for my self-esteem in that sense.  Most of the challenges to honor come from my dreams and the occasional person I run into who used to greet me warmly but now shuns me.  The people who shun me are easy to deal with – 1) check them off as no longer a friend, and  2) move along treating them as someone I used to know.  Dreams are a bit harder. My recurring dream is me going about my daily business but with people who I used to know yelling at me.  They yell things at me indicating my moral failures and my short comings.  The dreams always end with them turning violent and me being the victim of a death-wound by one of them.  I usually wake up at that point.  If I dwell on this too much my honor level drops a bit.

I am starting to feel more positive about my future.  I applied for graduation this last week so that is in the works. I am feeling better about school in general although I do have some more work to do yet to catch up.  It’s close now to the end and I think I will be a better position for a better job after graduation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

In my dreams the word ‘coward’ comes out of the mouths of some.  I don’t really get that accusation.  I simply have responded at times to what people have done to me by talking about it openly.  The coward would gossip, slander, back bite and back stab.  I don’t do those things.  I either tell people what happened from my perspective or I keep silent. I don’t feel I need to respond directly to people who in my estimation were the first ones to act in cowardice toward me.  Virtue is a two-way street and if the accusation of being a coward came from someone I consider brave, I would give it thought.  As it is, not so much.

I have an evaluation coming up at work.  I need to speak on the future with that company.  My additional problem is I need an internship. This is going to require some courage to explain to my present employer where I stand with them. If I am not going to have a good and productive future with them, then I need to move on when I can.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty with others is not so great an issue as honesty with myself. I am wrestling with so much these days as far as truth with me that I have a hard time with keeping my foundation stable. These days I prefer silence and peace. If only those voices from my dreams would stop haunting me when I am awake.

I am getting ready to write my last major paper for school – My Political Science Capstone.   I am wrestling with the topic and the thesis statement.  I have permission to use this for my Health Economics Class as well.  I want this paper to reflect what I see as the truth about a health issue.  It has to have sound political science basis, economics and if I can get my international business knowledge into it as well – bonus.  It’s not just about a paper but a final reflection on what I have learned in this degree and applying it to real life. It’s about pursuing truth as well.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 142 – Wisdom, Word and Deed

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Indestructible

Disturbed has become a new band for me.  I like a lot of their songs and this one is a good one for warriors.

Poem:

“Scars”

My meditation turns to my scars.

I have many but only a few are visible to others.

Most I find are hidden, healed slashes on my soul

No less real, and no less perfect.

Reminders of foes fought, battles won and lost.

Reminders of the price of fidelity, and the pain of another’s treachery,

Reminders love gained at cost and also love lost.

Scars – my one proof that life has tried to destroy me, but I survived

My one proof that I am a warrior.

– The Rabyd Skald – Ed Raby, Sr.

Yeah, this poem is my latest. I think it needs no commentary as it will either resonate with you or it wont.

Meditation:

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Song Of Preparation: Trapt – Headstrong

Trapt put out this song a long time ago.   I like it in that it shows how a strong attitude can make you a fighter for what you believe in.

Text: Havamal 142

Then began I to thrive, and wisdom to get. I grew and well I was. Each word led me on to another word. Each deed to another deed.

Sermon:

When people ask me why one should have personal code, I tell them that no matter what your faith you need something that guides how you live.  When people ask me why I personally chose a warrior code as my personal code, I give them the old Japanese proverb – Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. For me the mindset of a warrior in this world simply carries more weight and is far more useful in all matters.

In Havamal 142 I think we see some of the mentality of the warrior.  It’s actually does not start with war or martial spirit but wisdom.  Knowing how to use what you know practically. The three-part progression of this passage:

  1. Gain wisdom
  2. Let wisdom change your words
  3. Let your words turn into deeds

Gaining wisdom is not easy, so the start of this train of thought does not start with a task that is simple.  Wisdom is often found in learning from experience and sometimes those experiences are painful.  Wisdom also can be costly to gain and may require us to sacrifice something.  The story of Odin giving up his eye to gain insight has particular moral application here.  Wisdom is found in our experiences, the experiences of others and simply at times learning and seeking it out.

Letting this wisdom change our words is particularly powerful.  My wife and I have been reading How Words can Change Your Brain and I have to say it shows one great truth that our self talk can change our attitude and it is important that the wisdom we learn should change what we say and how we say it.  This changes our thinking.

Our thinking eventually will go over to actions. It is not enough in my opinion to simply know the right thing to do and think on it.  You must act. This is the great dividing line between being a gardener in a war and a warrior in a garden.  Those who act on their wisdom and words become warriors.

Closing Song: Survivor – Eye of the Tiger

I remember when the movie Rocky came out and I heard this song for the first time.  I knew then even as a kid that it would become an anthem for fighters.  Still is.

Be Strong and Fight On!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 1 – The Body (Odin)

The old man walked along the beach. at least he appeared to be an old man.  Indeed he had been alive for many years but age had done very little to stop him or slow him down.  He was wearing a grey cloak that went all the way to the ground and a hood was pulled over his head.  In the occasional flash that peeked out from underneath the cloak one could see the glint of a grey chain mail shirt as he moved.  In truth if one could see under the cloak one would see a hardened male body, muscled and scarred with many scars.

The one thing that could be seen is his face if one looked straight on at him.  It was wise and aged but still very strong.  His blue eye smoldered with life and fire.  His other eye covered by a patch.  He had given it up long ago for wisdom. A grey beard trimmed and braided into two braids than hung down his chest.  The other thing that could be seen was his strong right hand which grasped a spear that was a couple of feet taller than him.  Made of ash wood and tipped with shiny unstained steel.  Balanced to the point of perfection, it could strike a target no matter the skill of the one who wielded it. The man smiled as he recalled this, he had only one eye so this came in handy.  More importantly to him though was that no oath swore on this spear could be broken.

The man was after all no man at all – but the Norse god Odin, the All Father. For all the good that did him anymore.  Gods are dependent on worshipers for the extent of their power.  Odin knew his power was not what it once was when he took on the Frost Giants all those millennia ago.  But it was enough that brave deeds were in the world and some men still searched for knowledge.  The Norse gods never did expect the fawning type of worship other gods demanded.  Just respect and to live bravely in front of them and show that by actions not words.  In this humanity still supplied some strength to him and his fellow residents of Asgard.

The place he was walking now had been saved by him centuries ago.  He sensed the fall of humanity’s worship toward Asgard.  The Religion of the Cross slowly grew in power until it pushed his out.  Probably only the fact that the Christians so readily combined Pagan and Heathen rituals and celebrations with their own that he and his fellow gods been allowed to survive.  But in those last days where his power still had enough significance, he had created this island.  Built by him through sundering a small portion of each of the nine worlds and taking a branch of the one world tree, he was able create this place.  This Island where the power of the Old Norse gods was still preserved.  He frowned.  How far they had fallen.

The specific beach on which he was walking was stunningly beautiful.  The blue ice-cold ocean lapping its waves against the sand.  The tall forest trees of all types on the other hand.  Bushes and other temperate vegetation providing cover for small animals and birds.  The beach sand itself was the light tan strewn with pebbles and the occasional rock.

As he thought of this, two crows came down the beach toward him.  The were large crows and ancient.  Huginn and Muninn, his old companions.  Their caws caught his attention for they were signalling that they had found something.  One of them landed on his right shoulder and the other perched on his left forearm. It was Huginn on his arm and the bird informed him with its whispers that there was a body of a man down the beach. Odin raised an eyebrow as he got the full report and then raised his head and whistled.

In seconds two wolves appeared. Both of them were huge, standing as tall as a tall man’s waist. One was snow-white with blue eyes – Geri. The other was midnight black with red eyes – Freki.  Both of them ran with speed to their master who greeted them warmly.  He then sent the down the beach ahead of him to find this body.  His voice was strong and commanding as it always was, he being king of Asgard.  He told them to guard it until he got there.  The Ravens left him and followed the wolves, flying above them.

Odin headed out at pace but he lost sight of the wolves for while as they rounded a curve on the beach.  His ravens still circled above the treeline and he could see where they had started to circle over where the body must lay.  As he rounded the bend in the coastline, the picture came into view.

Laying face down, spread-eagle was a naked man.  Odin could see by comparing his size to Geri who was standing next the man that he was easily as tall as himself.  He was also muscular and his hair, cut short, was black but it was salt and peppered with grey hairs  along with white temples. An older man who took care of his body apparently.  Muninn swooped down and landed on Odin’s shoulder and began to whisper in his ear stuff for Odin to remember. Odin nodded as he approached and listened to the bird.

When Odin reached the body he bent down next to it.  It was puzzling and he could not see any stitch of clothing like someone who had during storm had survived it.  No this man was clean naked like he had been stripped of it.   Only the glint of a silver chain around the man’s neck could be seen.  Muninn cocked his head sideways and also looked quizzically at the man.  Huginn was still circling overhead and Geri sniffed the body.  Freki stood some distance away, standing guard and staying alert.

Odin reached over and turned the man over. The man’s face was also younger looking than it probably should have been.  He had a goatee which was black and grey like his hair.  His faced was etched with some signs of age but not many. One the chain around the man’s neck was a pendent.  Odin took it in his fingers.  It was a symbol of Thor’s Hammer.  There was something odd about it though.

Odin closed his one eye and then opened it again,  Now the eye glowed with a soft white light and he looked at the man up and down.  He paid particular attention to the pendent though and then he chuckled the laugh of the old and wise when they discover something they should have seen as obvious, but missed it.  He closed his eye again and when he opened it back up it was once again its normal deep blue.

“Not from here are you.  You are from the world outside.  Now the only question is how you got here? Huginn and Muninn, head back to the cabin and tell Frigg I am coming with an unconscious man who will need her healing hand.”

Huginn and Muninn took off without hesitation heading back the way they had come.  Odin laid his spear in the sand and then hosted the man over his shoulder.  He then grabbed his spear again in his right hand and stood effortlessly.  He walked as easily as if he had before unburdened.  His pace was the same.  A god’s strength comes in handy at times.

The man was a puzzle to be sure.  Not of the Island that was for sure.  Odin reflected that he had, when he had created the island, pulled in parts of various Viking clans.  This man was not part of any one of them.  He had the look of some one with an easy life but one who deliberately put himself through physical activity to keep himself strong and athletic.  How long had it been since the last person had gotten through the barrier?  Centuries at least.

Odin pondered this as he always did.  Ragnarok always was in the front of his mind.  The great wolf Fenrir’s face coming at him, the jaws clamping down on him.  Not the fault of Fenrir but his own treachery against the wolf had caused that.  A mistake in the judgment of the gods. They feared Fenrir too much and it had cost them.  It had made them a powerful enemy.  Odin had spent his life trying to delay the end of the world that Fenrir would bring about – Ragnarok.

His concern was his dreams and visions had not told him everything.  Something as simple as a man arriving from the old world outside the island could be the start of the end.  A harbinger of doom is what his man’s appearance could be.  Or it could be nothing.  The amulet though was not of Viking make, although it was the symbol of Thor’s hammer, and it was infused with magic.

The man himself did not look injured.  But his breathing was very shallow and his heart beat very slowly.  Odin hoped Frigg would know more.  He sighed deeply.  So much was lost; and yet, the world he had made here had become loved and familiar to him,  He had wandered its places many times.  While not as great a joy as the world of the One World Tree, he found it stimulating.  He would miss it when Ragnarok actually came.  He hoped that now was not the time.  But he knew that one time, something would signal the end.  As pondered these things, the house he and Frigg called home at times came into view.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Also Some Writing Notes)

I write for therapy.  I know I gave three reasons I write yesterday but the fourth reason is personal – it is therapeutic.  When I sit down and start touching keys on this keyboard, things come into focus, they become clearer.  There is meditative aspect to my writing.  The same is true when I get up in the morning and stretch, when I am in the gym lifting weights and more recently I have rediscovered that cuddling with my wife has the same effect.  The calmness and peace are the same.  Perhaps the thoughts in my head are different but I am at peace.

This is good because I still struggle with The Grey. Depression as it is more commonly known.  It takes certain triggers and sometimes I don’t see them coming.  It’s hard for me to recognize some triggers becasue the memory they might be inflaming is something I haven’t thought about for a long time.  Other times I know I am going to have to walk The Grey for a bit becasue of what happens.  I accept certain aspects of it because when some of the triggers I know exist happen, I don’t have a lot of control over them. I walk the Grey willingly and with a lot of courage.

Right now my wife has to deal with a little moodiness from time to time.  I can’t sing her praises enough.  I have done some pretty rotten things to her and yet there she is listening.  I love that about her. I don’t get it, but I thank her for it. There are of course things we are still working on.  Mostly we both don’t want to go back to how the relationship was before.  But you still have to break old habits and create new ones.  Both these things take work.

Some blog notes.  1) I am going to start dropping all posts a 9 AM except on Sunday.  That one will still fall at 10 AM.  I have personal reasons for that.  2) This week is the first week of the schedule being the way it is going to be.  It may change but right now I think it’s going to work based on what I am writing.  3) It should be noted that I try to stay three days ahead.  The reason for this is that I find if I edit a post three times, I find far fewer mistakes.  I simply cue up the post three days ahead of time and look at it every day until it drops.

I hope everyone is enjoying the new blog. I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 68 – Living Life

Happy Sun’s Day

Welcome to the Pagan Pulpit.

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Down with the Sickness

Just a reminder that to be part of sick society is to become sick.  You won’t find fulfillment for yourself by doing so.  Better to die free on your feet than be a living slave on your knees.

Poem:

See the source image

Not mine but a good one.  I like this poem because there is a lot of passion in it, particularly persuasion.  It also is well written.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear the Reaper.

Nothing like a classic to remind you that living life in fear is not the way to go, even living in fear of death is a bad deal.  Live life and don’t fear The Reaper.

Text: Havamal 68

A warm fire
should be appreciated,
and the sight of the sun.
Enjoy your good health
(if you can keep it)
and embrace a life
without shame.

Sermon:

So we turn this week to the Havamal stanza 68.  When we boil it all down it is about living life and living it fully. Learning to appreciate life when it is good.  The good things in life however are not what people always think.  It is more often in the simple things that you find the greatest joy in living.

The Havamal points out three for consideration. 1) A warm fire, 2) The sight of the sun and 3) Good Health (adding the line if you can keep it)

  1. A Warm Fire –   have stood around many a warm fire.  I have one goal when i do finally get my own place and that is to have a legitimate fire pit.  Whether one is alone or together with friends a warm fire simply calms the soul and allows one to relax.  A good thing when living life.
  2. The Sight of the Sun – Nothing like a morning sunrise or sun set or just feeling the rays of the son in the middle of the day.  I actually appreciate the sun’s warmth in the middle of winter the most.  Reminds me that not everything in the world is dark and dreary.
  3. Good Health – If you an keep it good health allows you to enjoy life better than anything else. Once sickness and disease enters the struggle is more to stay alive than enjoy life.  I encourage everyone to do what they need to do to stay healthy. It will help you enjoy life that much more.

Embracing life without shame.  That’s the goal here.

Closing Song: Eric Idle – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (From Monty Python’s Life of Brian

True art and humor.  Gods, I miss Monty Python.  A little smile to send you on your way.  Until next week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!