Relationships

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 9 – Avoiding vs. Facing (Plus Some Writing Notes)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin) Day

I haven’t given a family warning for a while, but the rest of this post probably has one.  I am simply going to be very real for a bit with my feeling about what was going on last year and how it affects me now. If you want to know simply what my writing plans are then you can scroll down to that and start reading there. I will give it a headline.

I wouldn’t give you a nickel for how I felt this past weekend..  I knew memories of last year at this same time were going to be rough, but this is downright painful at times.  Like pins under your fingernails painful.  Then to protect myself from said pain, I go Grey. That feeling of nothing being preferable to the pain and sadness. I hate when people say – “Get over it” or “Move on”.  I think to myself when I hear this: “Yes, this is where I want to be.  To have a choice between sorrow and nothing,  Yeah, this is fun.”  People who say such things, don’t have a fucking clue, and they should probably just learn some shit about depression and then shut up and be thankful you don’t fight this particular battle.

I am conflicted at times as to what strategy to employ as far as dealing with memories. There are simply times; I note, there is no way not to be triggered. So avoiding the memory is not an option.  But then how to confront and face them then?  The real problem of course is not all my memories are bad ones.  There was some good things taking place through a certain relationship last year, it is just the relationship that was doing some of those good things was ‘toxic’ or ‘wrong’.  I don’t know how else to express it, but there were some good things happening for me but other people might say it wasn’t good how it was happening.

I wasn’t moping around in April of 2018, I was actually feeling quite confident and good.  My female friend at the time was helping me deal with things that were a bummer and I was loving her for it. She was keeping the Grey at bay for me or maybe my love for her was, I don’t know. I still miss that friendship, and it hurts that it is gone.  Probably always will.

Unfortunately, we both took things too far.  We let our friendship grow into something else. Something far more intimate emotionally than was probably safe for both of us.  But I think given the state of my marriage at the time; I probably didn’t care as much then as I would now.  Our counselor said my affair was actually pretty typical. Marriage sucked, you didn’t feel loved, you hurt.  Someone else expresses love for you in some way and you are drawn to them like a moth to flame. Nothing special, happens all the time.  Sounds common and base; something I dislike, but there it is.

This weekend was rough because I was; as I often do, sifting through my Facebook memories and there was her name.  Something I had tagged her in.  Fuck it but if it didn’t trigger an immediate emotional response.  A mix of sadness, loss, grief and who knows what else. It is the kind of emotions you get when something good has turned bad or died. The whole thing hurt again and I wanted to crawl up inside and die.  But I didn’t, I kept going. I have to.  It’s all I know. I turned on the Grey and went forward choosing to feel nothing and not all that. Weird thing this time I couldn’t keep it on all the time.  I kept alternating between nothing and sadness. It sucked. I actually cried once.

Despite this, I have concluded avoid things is not an option.  I will not do that.  Let Facebook and other memories come. I need to learn to deal with this.  Let it make me stronger. Let it make me handle The Grey better. I just know this is really the small shower before the storm that will be later this spring and then this summer. It is the warm up and if I can’t learn how to handle this now, the time between now and the end of August is going to seriously suck. Well, it’s going to suck regardless, but I need to learn how to face it so I keep going and that it sucks less.  That’s all for now.

Time to talk about writing.

Writing Notes:

I have a struggle with the non-Fiction book that I am trying to resolve.  Here is the thing, I could be one helluva critic of Religion in general and The Bible and Christianity in particular.  I could write books that would seriously challenge both and possibly make a shit ton of money doing it. It would make all the past learning and experiences as a minister not feel like such a waste of time, if I could use them to build a new future with writing books.  The flip side is I still have a lot of friends who are religious and Christians, including my wife. This would seriously put some shit out there between us.  At the same time I feel what they believe is a fraud and their lives would be better without it.  Shit.

My novel is a little easier. But at the same time genre is important. I have written every fiction genre at one time or another.  Even ones I didn’t really care for and by writing them I found out that I didn’t really care for them.  My best bet would probably be to create a fantasy setting and go with that.  The reason is you can do anything with that.  But my passion is modern fantasy.  What to choose?  I also should note I won’t be writing this novel for a children’s or young adult audience – definitely adult stuff.  So yep – adult situations, sex, and violence.

As far as the blog goes, I am going to try to get out two installments of Rogue Wizard.  One for Thursday and one for Friday.  It’s time for them.  The timeline shift is going to cause the character based on me to have a major life change so that nothing in his life will relate to what is going on in my real life. The purpose of this is to change the nature of the story into something that is pure fiction.  Or mostly pure as the kind of decisions my alter ego would make will still be based on what I would really do in that situation.

Walking The Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Love: Mutual Essential Happiness

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I know I used a Robert Heinlein quote for the Pagan Pulpit this week, but I suppose it is also fitting that he comes up here, as love is the philosophical topic this week. Love for Heinlein was the idea that in order to be happy another person you cared for also had to be happy.  When both sides are concerned at this level with each others happiness, then love is there.

I feel the same trepidation in talking about Love as I do Fidelity.  I have never really grasped or been good at this love thing. Mostly because I am a little bit of a hopeless romantic when it comes to love. I have high ideals about it. I have discovered however that ‘love’ is not thought of as highly by others as myself. People use the word ‘love’ so often and so frequently it loses its meaning.

I find with love I represent the blundering idiot more than the person who understands it on a practical level.  Because of this, when love is lost by any cause, it hurts me – badly. It is in times like those that I find myself wishing my heart could be ripped out of my chest and removed all together.  Every time there has been that early struggle to just shut down all emotions completely and forever.  To go completely cold-blooded bastard, so I don’t have to be concerned with anyone’s happiness but my own.  But in the end the risk of love is far outweighed by the joys of it. At least when I find those joys.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I need love.  We all do.  As introverted and reclusive as I am, I find the need to feel that someone loves me.  I can face a whole day by myself and be happy with it, if I know someone loves me. I struggle with that though because my definition of love is so very high. My standards and expectations of love I receive is the same as I give to them.  If I am ‘all in’ with a person, I expect that in return and I need that to be true.

I need different kinds of love.  I need friendship, family love and the one I will be using the most in this post – love of the deepest nature with another human being.  In my case as a heterosexual male – love with a woman. It’s the love I need the most.

Wants (Freki):

I want love.  It has a lot of side benefits. For me, I find The Grey has no place in love. It isn’t there or does not affect me at all.  Love is the sunshine I keep in my heart where I smile even if the clouds are over me.  I can smile because the Grey has no power when I can feel that I am loved. When I know I am loved.  It is a want that is very strong, but it also makes me not think about what’s going on as much.

Reason (Huginn):

The wolves of love are easy.  The reason behind it is much harder. I have loved and lost several times both is romance and friendship.  Two times romantically were greatly significant to the point they were personally devastating.  I wrestle with the fact that I was ‘all in’ with these two women but it is clear by their actions, they were not.  It is hard when that other person’s happiness is so essential for your own, but then you come to the devastating realization that their happiness is not conditional on yours.  That takes some time to get over.

There is also trying to rebuild love. Yes, it is a real thing. Where history causes you to doubt love.   So you say it to each other multiple times every day, when you are alone you go through the box of all the notes she has sent you where she has written ‘I love you’.  You cuddle and kiss and make love and that phrase ‘make love’ has a whole new meaning because that is exactly what you are doing.  It isn’t about sex as much as making love.  To build it and surrounded it with wall and protect it.  It’s hard when you look at the damage at times, and see it is you who destroyed that part, and now you have to fix it. It is far easier to destroy than to build and that is especially true for love.

Wisdom (Muninn):

If experience makes one wiser, I can say for me love seems to be an exception to that rule. I find with love reason and wisdom seem to have little place. They probably should, but in truth we all seem to shoo the ravens away to follow our wolves of need and want. I can say that I am wise enough to really guard myself these days.  Despite my desires, I keep myself limited in who I love and why. I just know, if I am hurting I try to grasp love from somewhere and if the pain is high enough wisdom and reason are very hard to find. So, I try to deal with reducing the pain to stay in fidelity.

I suppose that is why when it comes to love I see that honor, courage and standing for truth are good emotional states as well as virtues.  Strong ones. They help with understanding love and keeping on the path despite my pain about it.  At the same time, it is this continued search for love that keeps me wandering and searching.

Conclusion:

Love is a funny thing.  It can scar you when you are the one concerned with someone else’s happiness, but they are not as concerned with yours.  But it also can bring joy, healing and strength when it is.  I don’t know if have really said much here.  I know there is a lot of emotion behind my words in this post today, but whether my philosophy behind love as a higher virtue is good I have no clue.  I am still learning.  As I said, I am a blundering idiot at times with love. But I keep walking trying to understand it.  I keep walking hoping to find the sunshine of love to keep my heart free from The Grey.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 2:2 – “I am Free Because I Know that I Am Morally Responsible for Everything I Do.”

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Sun’s Day

Text:

“I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for what I do. I am free no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for what I do.” – The Book Of Rabyd 2:2

Thoughts and Exposition:

I am diverging from the original Book of Rabyd at this point. Much of the old one was the same author and while I respect that author, there are many other true points of wisdom quotes that deserve a place at the table. I could quote Robert Heinlein all day too and he may get one or two but there other author’s whose wisdom I find top-notch and so they will also be included.

There are all sorts of schools of thought about why people do what they do.  About ethics and morality in general.  The most common I have heard is that we do things out of respect or fear. God, the law or basically some authority in general.  I would now maintain is not a very high sense of ethics or morality that you have if you only do things out of some outward focus, or because some outward force compels you to be ethical or moral. It basically is an admission that you are not very ethical or moral and you need someone or something to make you so.

This quote cuts through that bullshit, and drives home the point that the only real thing that is responsible for our choices is us.  We alone bear the moral responsibility for our actions.  Not our fear of the divine (whom ever they may be), respect or fear of the law, or just plain fear.  At the end of the day, it is each one of us that is morally responsible for our actions. We alone bear the responsibility for our choices.

Part of this quote is more truth than choice. We tolerate the rules we find tolerable and we break the rules we find obnoxious.  I saw this all the time in Christianity. I would laugh inside when people would decry people with tattoos because of an old testament passage about it, knowing full well that same passage had rules like no blended fabrics and other such rules. If those same people were forced to engage all the rules that would have  made them upset.  No matter how much a person claims to live fully their code, they make exceptions.  Then most of them lie that they don’t. Neither Heinlein or myself will do that any more. Rules either are tolerable to my freedom of choice or they are obnoxious to the point of being worthy of being broken.  I simply state and live that reality while others will deny it.

I think people play this game of fear and respect because it allows them to look down on someone morally and be in their ivory tower.  To think of themselves as better because they ‘follow’ some moral code and others don’t or do it imperfectly.  The problem with such codes, is when you get right down to it people follow the parts they like or make them feel morally superior, and ignore the parts they don’t and try to hide it so their moral judgment doesn’t come back on their own head.Quite frankly I am sick of this fear/respect dichotomy. In my mind it just leads to more ‘evil’.

Heinlein and the Book of Rabyd offer you an alternative.  Better is to live like this – I am free because I am completely responsible for my own actions. No one else, nothing else compels me to be ethical or moral – only myself. I live free and take full responsibility. Period.  Stop.  Nothing else.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Gods and Goddesses – Frigg: Mother Goddess

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg is the Norse goddess of weather and clouds.  Also known as Frigga and Frig. She is often depicted in white garments as such with silver and grey trims.  There is an aspect of being the goddess of change as well as she weaves the future as one of the practitioners of seidr, the Norse magic of divination. She is thus the goddess of weaving and fate. Change is also an aspect of weather and clouds so it fits her as well. She has a queenly air to her as well and this fits her role as the queen of the gods.

Just to reiterate what I said under the Goddess Freya, I don’t think Frigg and Freya are the same woman.  They have very different spheres.  Freya might be considered the aspect of femininity that is a single warrior maiden, the archetype of the shield maiden,  who is a party girl  The kind of girl a man wants around when he is single and sowing his wild oats.  Frigg on the other hand is very much that aspect of femininity a man wants to settle down and have children with.  One is the erotic expression of love and sexual desirability, the other is a good and loving  mother and wife. As I pointed out before one is Vanir and the other Aesir.  Each of them has different children and in Frigg’s case her son Balder is central figure along with her love for him on one of the main stories of Norse Mythology.

See the source image

Now it should be noted that Frigg has her own flaws. When her husband Odin was away and missing she did sleep with both of his brothers. This may be more of a reflection that the Norse people did not have as strong conviction about sexual fidelity in marriage as other religions and cultures. She has her warrior aspects as well, especially when it comes to defending or avenging her children.

Frigg’s symbols are birds particularly falcons and like her husband – ravens. There is a grass called Frigg’s grass that was used as a sedative for mother’s giving birth. Mistletoe is also sacred to her. A mother looking out for her children and her home is her aspect.

See the source image

Frigg’s one failing is that despite her powers of divination she could not prevent or reverse the death of her beloved son Balder.  This I suppose one of the great ironies of her story that she is both a mother and a strong one at that.  A powerful woman who weaves the tapestry of fate and yet despite all this she cannot prevent something terrible from happening to her children.  All her power and love is not enough.

There is definitely a lesson here for the mothers of her time when she was worshiped.  That even if a mother knows the fate of her children and is wise, understanding and powerful, misfortune can still happen to her children. In a world where children died much more frequently and early than today, this is a message designed to comfort mothers. If Frigg herself cannot stop her own son’s death, what makes you think you can?  No matter what, that is truly out of your hands.

See the source image

Modern depictions of Frigg are rare.  She of course appears in the Thor comics and the movies.  I can say this that she is definitely cast as a mother sitting at home rather than a warrior goddess like Freya is at times. A strong mother who runs her household well, who cares for her children and loves her husband is what she is an example of to others. A strong archetype and a common one in mythology.  You see much the same with Hera in Greek Mythology.

Personally, being a little pagan in mindset, I can respect the separation of femininity in Frigg as opposed to say the masculinity of Odin and Thor.  The one thing Norse mythology has is a strong set of expectations of what is feminine and what is masculine, without saying one is weaker than the other. Just very different chosen roles. Mother verses Father is definitely a dichotomy with Frigg and Odin and the Roles are very distinct yet strong.  Based on the mythology, the idea of more than two genders or gender neutral is simply not present. Rather it embraces the two genders as the way it is and exults both of their strengths. Frigg being the strong aspects of what it is to be female and Odin the strong aspect of what it means to be male.

See the source image

I think when you look at stories, the strong mother and wife is something that literature in general never seems to get tired of as an archetype.  Perhaps it is because all of us look back to some sort of strong mother figure who influenced our lives and so it is very relatable. We are all children, so Frigg appeals to us and our own sense of motherhood as a powerful force in our lives.

In my own writing Frigg knows the future but rarely gives it out because of her past experience. She has learned fighting fate is a bad way to go. Knowing the future does not help change it. She is loving and caring but sad, drawing strength from her husband and children.  Passionate and Powerful, but very much down to earth.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Iron Thoughts

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

By the time this post drops it will be Friday at 8 am. I will be at work, but I will be thinking about iron. It has been about three months since my old gym closed leaving me gym homeless. It would have to say it has been hard, not just because I don’t have a place to train, but because the gym was a place to get my mind right. It was one of the many tools I used to fight The Grey and I am excited to bring it back into my life. I have missed the iron.

I joined a new gym Monday April 1st. It is a block from where I work, so I am planning on heading there after work and banging out some set and reps. This winter I have not lost much of what I gained last summer. I probably have put on a few pounds but my diet has been pretty tight for the most part, plus my work is fairly physical. I am hoping this new gym membership will allow me not only to return to where I was but take my progress to new levels. My only goal for each workout is to make it better than the last time.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I decided to slow down on this diet thing, not because exercise is coming back into my life as far as walking and lifting. No, my thoughts are to read my book again on Paleo and start to follow their advice on how to implement it. I am sticking to what I am doing currently and will over time change my diet to be more Paleo centrist. It has worked well for me. I should be implemented fully by the end of the month if not sooner. It’s one of those one bite at a time things to eat the elephant. Is elephant meat Paleo friendly?

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I was going to walk this last few days.  The weather is still a little cold, but in truth I think my new exercise program should kick off with a trip to the gym. It’s symbolic.  A restart should always have some sort of symbol to mark the occasion and I feel the moment I reach down for a deadlift for the first time in three months, I will be off and running. I have decided on a three-day split. Pull, Push and Legs.  Pull being Traps, Back, Biceps and Forearms.  Push being Chest, Delts, Triceps and Abs. Legs being Quads, Hamstrings and Calves. This keeps me in my three days a week minimum and hitting my whole body in that time frame. I am going to start off with 4 x 10-12 with a rising pyramid as far as resistance levels. Once muscle memory kicks in after a month, I should be doing what I was doing before my last gym closed.

Stretching will be a part of it before and after.  Next week the weather is supposed to be very Spring-like. so walking my first few 5 k training walks will commence then.

I have started a savings plan that will lead to my first tattoo. More on that under fidelity.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My savings plan is basically to take a little more out of each of my checks and set it aside. Part of this will be for my first tattoo and part of it for my wife and I’s mini vacation.  In a couple of months the vacation will take place and then in three months I will see where my tattoo money is at.

I think one of the things on hold is the genetic test and part of that is I want to wait until I have a new job and extra income to save for it. I have a lot of time on this one but information is needed, so I can even begin planning.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I feel my plans are starting to go in motion and it is very much like work to get this wheel turning the right direction.  Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity are hard ways to make yourself a better person but they all involve humility in the face of opposition and at times failure.  But humility, in order for it to bring strength and wisdom, brings change not withdraw.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

The first part of the week I tested the morning Routine and the mid part of the week I tested adding the Daily Routine.  Today begins adding in the Weekly Stuff.  It has not been as difficult as I would have thought, but there is a lot of preparation and build up work in some areas.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Tools of Navigation

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

As I take the some new steps to reorient my life goals and ambitions, I have to understand all the tools I have at my disposal to navigate the paths and the waters ahead. This blog is a tool for that and  large one.  Writing allows me to take my scattered thoughts and form them into something a little more organized and purposeful.  The Journal Posts force me to check my course and see if I am on track with the plan.

I mention it sometimes but I also have a paper journal which is more of system of checklists. It allows me to see daily and weekly progress on my routines. It is a form of self accountability.  For weightlifting and exercise I have a logbook.

I have found that there are some essential things to be learned from navigators.  1) Is to know where your going and have a route to get there. 2) Have alternate routes ready whenever possible because sometimes the road you want to take is blocked, so you need alternative ways to get where you are going. 3) Keep records – you can look back and remember things both bad and good.  Stuff to avoid in the future and stuff that surprised you as how it made the journey that much easier.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

I really like the progression here.  I did however have to change the goal time frame to  the end of June, as I passed the end of March with no new job. I have decided to step back and redo the whole procedure this week.  I also have chosen the end of June for another reason. I am searching my home state right now with no limitations on where I can go for a job. Very willing to move.  After the end of June, the whole country becomes my search field. I am getting to the point where I need to go where I need to go to make my life go where it needs to go.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

Internship is going well. I start my novel this week. My concern usually at work is trying to find ways that are more efficient and effective.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own a home by March 2024.

I want to start researching different types of support groups this week as well. I want to see what I can do or am willing to do. Both of these items here are very much dependent on where I end up for work,  In the meantime I still try to be as helpful as I can to others without bankrupting myself.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Finding just solutions to life’s interactions has been challenging but very fun to me.  I really like negotiating between parties and always have. Might be  career path for myself.  Justice is very much about being Self-Reliant so I am not a burden to others, Industrious so I provide some usefulness and Hospitality so I can help when I can.  A real balance between holding to the right path and mercy is required in everyday life.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write new post for next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Latin – half hour
  8. Weekly Routine Items
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 1

My only worry about this routine is it might be too long. If it turns out that it is, than Latin can go to the Weekly stuff. So far though I have to think it looks good on paper. I have three days to test it and see but I will probably continue to try well into the next week before I would make a change.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 2:1 – “People are Stupid”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text:

“People are Stupid” – The Book of Rabyd 2:1

Thoughts and Exposition:

We are with verse one of chapter two moving into a different realm of The Book of Rabyd.  Chapter one is principles I would say are universally or nearly universally true.  Chapter Two is points of wisdom which are more about life guides and coming to a better understanding of the world.  Not hard fast rules in chapter two, but definitely can be seen to be true most of the time.  We start with the simple three word Phrase: “People are Stupid”

One might say this is a pretty pessimistic view of people in general. This is not a statement about people and their morality however, just their nature. Terry Goodkind and his Wizard’s Rules impressed me in their quick way of getting to human nature and laying it out there plainly and bluntly.  I like someone who can take a concept and put it into a simple statement and “People are Stupid” shocks you ,and yet catches your attention, because you know in you heart it is true.  I have tried to put this idea into other terms or phraseology but it never has the force of “People are Stupid.”

Terry Goodkind though really doesn’t stop with just these three words. but in his book Wizard’s First Rule he makes several other points about it:

  1. Given proper motivation people will believe almost anything.
  2. People will believe something because they want it to be true or fear it is true. (Confirmation Bias)
  3. Peoples’s heads are full of things that they think is true but is in reality mostly false. (Cognitive Dissonance)
  4. People rarely can tell the difference between a lie and the truth, but they think they can. (Ego)
  5. Because of all this people are easier to fool.

You will note Terry did not say ALL People are stupid.  His assumption is that by understanding this rule you can rise above it yourself.  First you understand it for yourself that you yourself are stupid.  Once you get this idea that you are stupid, and need analyze your own thinking and beliefs for whether or not they are true, then you are very much on the path to understanding yourself and others better.  Stupidity is part of being a human being and once you get that part, the rest of the wisdom that flows from this foundation becomes easier to swallow.  Truth is found in understanding that even you can be subject to stupidity and that means re-thinking things regularly to make sure you are basing your understandings on the truth and not just what you want to be the truth.

There is tremendous power that you gain when you understand all of this and the challenge for the vitreous person is to not take advantage of it for malevolent purposes.  It gives you an advantage when you realize what makes people, stupid including yourself is Confirmation Bias, Cognitive Dissonance, and Ego. You can use this to help or harm.  lead people to truth to a lie.  Motivate them to great good or evil.

As a leader over the years’, I have come to realize the difficulty of researching and coming to know the factual truth at times, but knowing full well that to motivate people to act on it, requires a great deal of tapping into people’s ‘stupidity’.  Otherwise they will never be motivated to act.  Truth rarely motivates, passion does.  That is the challenge to be motivated by truth as a leader but tap into people’s passions so you don’t on the one hand mislead people, but on the other hand get them to act.

We may see Terry Goodkind again.  I am revising a lot of these points of wisdom and combining some of them so we will see.  However many of the Wizard’s Rules echo in a lot of them.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 2:1 – “People are Stupid”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements: 

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: ‘Radio Ga Ga’ – Queen (Live at Wembly London 1985)

I don’t really need to explain why I open with Queen sometimes do I?

Poem: “We all eat lies” – Dark and Twisted

No photo description available.

Meditation:

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Hard to find the right people.   Why? Because as we will see today – stupidity.

Song of Preparation:  ‘Vengeful One’ – Disturbed

The greatest thing that proves people are stupid is that they believe the media most of the time.  The media knows full well that people are stupid and take advantage of that all the time. They feed people’s’ confirmation bias and into cognitive dissonance all the time.

Text:

‘People are Stupid’ – The Book of Rabyd 2:1

Sermon:

We are with verse one of chapter two moving into a different realm of The Book of Rabyd.  Chapter one is principles I would say are universally or nearly universally true.  Chapter Two is points of wisdom which are more about life guides and coming to a better understanding of the world.  Not hard fast rules in chapter two, but definitely can be seen to be true most of the time.  We start with the simple three word Phrase: “People are Stupid”

One might say this is a pretty pessimistic view of people in general. This is not a statement about people and their morality however, just their nature. Terry Goodkind and his Wizard’s Rules impressed me in their quick way of getting to human nature and laying it out there plainly and bluntly.  I like someone who can take a concept and put it into a simple statement and “People are Stupid” shocks you ,and yet catches your attention, because you know in you heart it is true.  I have tried to put this idea into other terms or phraseology but it never has the force of “People are Stupid.”

Terry Goodkind though really doesn’t stop with just these three words. but in his book Wizard’s First Rule he makes several other points about it:

  1. Given proper motivation people will believe almost anything.
  2. People will believe something because they want it to be true or fear it is true. (Confirmation Bias)
  3. Peoples’s heads are full of things that they think is true but is in reality mostly false. (Cognitive Dissonance)
  4. People rarely can tell the difference between a lie and the truth, but they think they can. (Ego)
  5. Because of all this people are easier to fool.

You will note Terry did not say ALL People are stupid.  His assumption is that by understanding this rule you can rise above it yourself.  First you understand it for yourself that you yourself are stupid.  Once you get this idea that you are stupid and need analyze your own thinking and beliefs for whether or not they are true, then you are very much on the path to understanding yourself and others better.  Stupidity is part of being a human being and once you get that part, the rest of the wisdom that flows from this foundation becomes easier to swallow.  Truth is found in understanding that even you can be subject to stupidity and that means re-thinking things regularly to make sure you are basing your understandings on the truth, and not just what you want to be the truth.

There is tremendous power that you gain when you understand all of this and the challenge for the vitreous person is to not take advantage of it for malevolent purposes.  It gives you an advantage when you realize what makes people, stupid including yourself is Confirmation Bias, Cognitive Dissonance, and Ego. You can use this to help or harm.  lead people to truth to a lie.  Motivate them to great good or evil.

As a leader over the years’, I have come to realize the difficulty of researching and coming to know the factual truth at times, but knowing full well that to motivate people to act on it, requires a great deal of tapping into people’s ‘stupidity’.  Otherwise they will never be motivated to act.  Truth rarely motivates, passion does.  That is the challenge to be motivated by truth as a leader but tap into people’s passions so you don’t on the one hand mislead people, but on the other hand get them to act.

We may see Terry Goodkind again.  I am revising a lot of these points of wisdom and combining some of them so we will see.  However many of the Wizard’s Rules echo in a lot of them.

Closing Song: ‘Holy Diver’ – Dio

Parting Thought:

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You are sovereign over your life.  Never forget that.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Realigning Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Well, not going to get to a Crossing Bifrost post this week either.  I  really need to get this realignment done so I can get on with other things. I will double dip next week to make it up to you. Maybe.

Now that I have aligned each Virtue with its Principle, Goal and Bucket List item, there is one task that remains so my three weekly journal posts are complete – Aligning my Routines so that what is on them is actively taking steps to reach those goals and items.

I don’t consider routine or forming routines to be a restriction on living life, but rather a tool so goals can be achieved.  The goal is having more time to live life and achieve results that make my life more enjoyable. They actually, in the long run, give me more time to do what I want to do. This is because routine should be about being efficient and effective.

There are other issues with this as well.  Certain habits that I need to develop because they good habits. Stuff that is more connected directly to virtue than a goal or item on my bucket list. But all of it must relate to a goal at least indirectly in that it keeps me developing skills and habits that help strengthen me in some way so the goals are easier to achieve. The other thing is activities that are flexible in that they can be used for one goal and then transition into another. Study, Reading and Writing are good examples as they can be used professionally, as a student or personally.

I have the same resources as anyone else: Time, Possessions and Relationships.  Finding ways to utilize them to help me get to what I need and want is the issue here and Routines are a tool to help me do that.  What I need to do here as well is identify things that will be the product of routine and others that are just items to list to be done.

Step One – List the Goals and Look at Full Bucket List.

Goal’s Listed

  1. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  2. Cross one thing off bucket list every year.  Deadline March 31st.
  3. To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
  4. Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.
  5. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019
  6. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.
  7. To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.
  8. To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
  9. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List Items Listed: 

  1. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  2. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  3. Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.
  4. To own and run my own successful business or company.
  5. Write A Novel and Get it Published.
  6. To own a home by March 2024.
  7. Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.
  8. To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.
  9. Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Step Two – Revise Routines.  Basically, I am coping the old routine and making revisions based on the above.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This is the first thing in the morning when I get up stuff. This is every morning, every day. The idea is to set a tone and plan what to do for the day as well as remind myself of obligations. Once this is done, it is time to work the daily routine. I am having breakfast again as it is the best way to remember to take my medications and supplements.

 Daily Routine: (in priority order) 

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write new post for next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Latin – half hour
  8. Weekly Routine Items
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 1

The reason this is in priority order is because it might not get finished every day and Weekly Routine Items are a special case in that when they can be done and need to be done they jump to the top of the list. Blogging is there at the top because of the goal to blog a post every day.  Reading is essential for school and writing.  Study/ Homework / Research covers work, school and writing.  Personal Business is expanded to include a lot of items.  Just wanted a time every day to ask the questions: “What personal business needs to be done today? And did it get done?”.  Latin I debated but truth is it is probably one of those things I will have to do every day or it won’t happen at all. Nutrition is still a work in progress but allowing one carb high carb item a day will keep me from going completely nuts.

Savings Plan actions are purposeful activities where I save money toward certain ends.  Right now I am saving a set number of dollars every paycheck toward my tattoos and a mini-vacation with the wife for our anniversary. Then after that saving up for the genetics test will be on my list. The idea is things that need money to do them need a regular plan of building that money to achieve them.

The trick with the Daily is it needs to be long enough so I don’t put it off but short enough that it is doable even when the weekly items are added. It has to have the right balance and that is why the Morning Routine has me making this up every morning to as the question of is this both Realistic and Challenging enough?

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

As you can see, I have decided to go with the number three a lot.  Mostly this makes the log entry easy.  Lifting and Stretching will come back into my life next week as I have decided to spend some of my tax return money on a gym memberships and I will probably do it every day after work.  This should actually give me four days as week, but I allow for special things to happen where I might have to forgo once a week or so.  Walking will probably be on days off along with the job search and cleaning. Writing I am going to look for days where it will work. The compensation for only having one high carb source a day is to give myself three cheat meals a week and that includes special occasions.

That should do it other than spending the rest of today doing preparation work to make this start happening Sun’s Day.  Mostly this involves redoing mt lists for meditation and getting my paper journal prepared. This process has really streamlined things as well as made it simpler and more lined up.  One thing leads to another pretty well. That said, glad the process is over although there are some small items to do on some of the items listed above to get the specifics.  Time to make this thing work.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Fidelity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have always been a loyal friend.  I have always been a loyal father and grandfather.  Understand if you mess with my kids (including my daughter-in-law and son-in-law by the way) or grand kids, prepare to reap something you will not enjoy. I am loyal to mother who yesterday turned 78.  The memory of my father and grandparents I honor every day. I was loyal to my church and even at the end my thoughts were always on how I could withdraw without hurting them any more than necessary.  I never turned my back on them, until they were misled into thinking I had, and turned their back on me.

No. Fidelity is a struggle in a very specific areas for me.  The rest of it is solid. The areas that need work are obviously my wife and I and my trust issues now with possible new friends. The first is much better.  My wife and I have been counseled and we have reached a place where we trust each other again and are supportive.  We still have some issues of course like any couple but we are working on them together.

What remains for me is that I tend to trust people and give them the same loyalty I expect from them. The problem is that I assume they feel the same and they don’t, and I don’t pick up on that.  It can make me naive at times as to what people, who call themselves my friends’, real intentions are or even their real nature.  It has blindsided me more than once.  In this last year it happened twice with pretty catastrophic results.

Well, at least until recently this was true.  Now, I skeptical of everyone who calls me ‘friend’ with very few exceptions. I have made a commitment to keep my circle very small for this very reason. It also why not much has changed in regards to he virtue or principle I follow because I forged both of these things in the fires of betrayal – my own and of those toward me.

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

No changes but perhaps some definitions are in order.

  1. My gods are the virtues I follow and my philosophy of deism, humanism and paganism.  Nothing more or less.
  2. My ‘folk’ are my immediate family and those friends who have earned through their own loyalty the title of friend.  Like the virtue says, my friends are family.  I hope that is understood.  There is only one difference.  If friend betrays me, I have no problem throwing them out of the family.
  3. Myself – yeah, in equal measure to those above I work on being loyal to myself and being truly myself. No more masks, no more lies to cover the real me. I will no longer be ashamed of my true self.

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Recent events have the caveat ‘ ‘who have been loyal to me.’  Betrayal is hard when you do it and I now see more than ever the value of fidelity from me toward others.  That said, I get truly pissed off about people who betray me as a result too. Once you do that, my loyalty to you goes right out the window. People screw up, it should be no cause to be disloyal to them. Something me and my wife have learned together which is probably what makes our relationship much tighter in some ways than it has ever been.

I just turned 50, so I am too fucking old now for friends that are disloyal or forming friendships that are not serious.  My pack is small but we fight together and die together if necessary.  This needs to be understood. So yes, you have to demonstrate loyalty now before you get that kind of loyalty from me. Thank you.  Otherwise cue Pantera’s ‘Walk for fake friends.’:

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Last year my wife and I were separated for our anniversary.  This year we need to make up for that somehow.  Don’t know the specifics, but a ‘weekend’ getaway type thing might be just what we need the most.

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I struggled with this one for a while trying to find something that tied in with fidelity. I mean getting a genetics test is easy. finding the means to research it down to actually visiting each country my ancestors came from is going to require some prosperity.  From my mom’s side, that means France, The Netherlands, and Wales for sure.  I could however find some surprises with genetics test. The first step would then be to get a genetics test. I have set as a time limit on this one my 60th birthday as I needed a true long-term bucket list item and didn’t have one yet.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Time is pressing now on the nutrition element here.  I need to spend time before Monday getting a plan together. The main issue is of course cutting out from my diet the things I cannot eat. Coming up with new things I can eat to cook and so forth.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I decided to take some of my tax return and get a gym membership near where I work. I will probably stop by after work every day and hit the stretching and weights. The weather is turning nice so walking is about to start next week too. It begins very soon.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Lots of family stuff which is good.  I suspect the goals will be different things that reflect my gratitude for fidelity toward family and friends.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I learned a lot of humility this last year.  I suppose that this has paved a lot of wisdom for me in the same time frame.  As I relive some of the memories from last year, wisdom and humility kind of beat the hell out of my foolish pride.  It is not an easy time right now and that is for damn sure.  I hope that through Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity, I can find a gentler way to pave wisdom with humility, but I doubt it. I suspect I might be harder on myself than life is.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

Tomorrow I will be doing a special The Rabyd Skald post to deal with my routines.  I suspect all of them will change but the main issue is to take each goal and bucket list item and find something to put in the routines that works toward them.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved:

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business December 2018.

Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!