Honor

Odin’s Eye – My Paganism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

“So when it comes to faith, religion, theology or spirituality Mr. Grey Wayfarer, what exactly do you believe?”

“I am a Deist and a Humanist with Pagan Tendencies.”

Raised Eyebrow

I don’t actually answer this question very often, and I think it is because people who care read this blog and know where I stand. The pagan side of it is more about how in interact spiritually with the world.  I no longer believe in following after other people’s spiritual experience, including the collective experience known as religion. I follow after my own and find the spiritual in sometimes the most mundane of places.  I believe if there is a spiritual side to the universe; the only real way to interact with it, is to engage it myself.

This doesn’t mean I don’t interact spiritually with other people, it is just I now recognize the truth that spirituality is based in self, no matter what people say, that is the truth of it.  Even when people follow so-called religions of faith, the origin of faith is internal and that is the simple truth of it. You choose to believe what you want and engage the spiritual in the way your engage it.  This is your creation, even if you use other people’s thoughts and experiences to do it. Or if you uses a religion to form your frameworks, you chose that too.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

For me I have faith in myself, my family, my friends and the creator (if he or she or they exist).  I have faith in my relationships that have shown themselves to be faithful and true.  Fidelity and Faith are closely related to me.  I also have faith in humanity as a humanist, although often joke I do not.  I truly believe that things over time are getting better for humans, even though sometimes I wonder.  I also believe that there are a number of humans who use a number of reasons to tell us otherwise.  They try to get us to believe things are getting worse and that humanity is inherently bad.  Unfortunately, the most common means of this conveying this philosophy to us is religion.

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Religion:

I have no real problem with people who have a religion.  That said I do recognize that one of the driving forces behind every religion I can thinking of, with the exception of paganism, is that were are not good enough, evil or sinners and we need to follow X to overcome that problem. Regardless of the form, religion follows the pattern of:

  1. You are no good, evil, bad or a sinner. Take your pick.
  2. You need to follow our religion so you stop being no good, evil, bad or a sinner.
  3. We will tell you from now on what to believe, think, and feel so you don’t go back to being no good, evil, bad or a sinner.
  4. Please make sure you attend regularly to our meetings so we can keep telling you what to believe, think and feel so you don’t go back to being no good, evil, bad or a sinner.
  5. Make sure you leave an offering to support us.

I still marvel at how effective religion is at getting people to pay them to let them do something they could do for themselves for free. No wonder con artists are drawn to religion like  a magnet. There is a fertile ground of suckers.

Even worse is when people get to the point of believing something so strongly that you force it on others. They use political and cultural power to shame, imprison, make illegal and even kill in the name of their religion.  At that point we probably need to realize that religion has led people to psychosis.

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I don’t have that anymore or time/money for it. None of it.

  1. I don’t think people are no good.  They are people who can grow and develop but I don’t assume they are sinners or evil or whatever.
  2. I don’t think people need to join a group to be spiritual or have faith.  You can do that if you wish, but it is not required for either of those things.
  3. People can practice their faith and spirituality any which way they choose.  There is no right or wrong here.
  4. Spend your money and time as you wish.

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Theology:

If the divine exists, I am fairly sure that all religions and thought on the divine, including my own, are fairly wrong about something. I am left to a deistic theology that basically takes me back to Marcus Aurelius idea of the divine is benevolent, the best they could judge me on would be the virtues I tried to live by because they would understand my ignorance.  If the divine is malevolent, better to be destroyed by them and not serve them.  If there is no divine then virtue still has its own rewards in this life. The best way then to do theology is to simply live in virtue.  Live a good life.

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But the other theology that has changed is my theology of humanity.  I just don’t see humanity like religion does – in a hole and needing the divine’s assistance to get out. Rather I see humanity as just human. I would say we all start our just that, and it is up to us at a certain point to make ourselves who we want to be through our choices and actions.  We can grow and find out our true potential or ruin ourselves. It really is left to us.

Spirituality:

I also believe, though it is not a hill I will die on, that we humans have spiritual side. There is more to love than biochemical hormonal exchange. There is something more to loving our children than just race survival. Call whatever that is ‘spiritual’, if you like.  For me this has led to me seeing the spiritual side of life in many things: hugs, kisses, making love, enjoying a walk, viewing a sunset, spending time with friends, working, etc. Just living is a spiritual experience and one that I embrace – this is what my pagan side is embracing.  All of my life has a truly spiritual element to it now that it never had before. That and it allows me to pretty much have some very cool holidays, and I celebrate other holidays from other faiths along side of them without guilt. A pagan is of all things truly tolerant in this regard. There is simply no one way to be spiritual to a pagan.

Conclusion:

Being a pagan in this sense has actually brought a lot of peace to my life.  I know members of my former faith would argue I am deluding myself, but they only drive home the point that religion makes one arrogant and intolerant of humans other than those who share your faith. I also point to the fact that my Four Major Objections to Christianity remain for the most part unchallenged and unanswered.

Truth is, I am at peace with myself far more than I ever was as a Christian.   I have no sin to be saved from, I only need to walk in virtue and grow into what potential I have as a human being. I love being a Deist and Humanist with Pagan tendencies.  It’s the pagan tendencies that make life joyful.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Path of Virtue

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If someone were to ask me right now what I miss the most, I would say it is walking. Winter sucks to walk in without the proper gear.  I miss the iron of the weights at the gym too, but I miss the simple act of taking an hour our of the day to take a walk. As soon as the snow is gone and the temperature up to a point where I can put on a jacket and take a walk, I will be out there.

Walking for me is very honest metaphor.  I am the Grey Wayfarer and a Wayfarer is one who travels on foot.  I enjoy this simple action more than most people know because living is walking with the occasional stops for enjoying the view or life in general.

My path is in life though is virtue. Finding the right path has not always been easy. I have walked a lot of them.  Christianity was a major one.  Right Now, I would say the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) are a better one.  Why? Because Virtue transcends religion, politics and philosophy, and it is something I have come to discover as I have walked the path.  You can be an honorable person regardless of whether you area Christian or not, whether you are conservative or liberal, or whether or not you believe in eastern or western philosophy.  Virtue is simply working to strengthen that which is best in us as human beings, and that path is something I can gladly walk.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I have a sense of honor.  I have really come to understand that this comes from within and not what other people think of me.  That is very important to understand. People do not dictate my sense of personal honor; I develop it within myself.  It makes honor both stronger and in a sense more vulnerable.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

No problems here,  I would say my recent travelling through The Grey Storm may have built this a little stronger.  I just need to really use this to put myself out there even more for a job search.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I don’t find this as difficult anymore.  I find myself stay silent a lot but it seems other people have more problems when I speak the truth than I do.  I have discovered that it is so true that people would rather have comforting lies than the truth, that it makes me chuckle at times.  That said, I follow truth because it gives me an advantage.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love of life. This last couple weeks have really challenged that. I guess I can say I owe a few people who I love some credit at times for helping me find my way back to love of life. My wife, children and grand kids all have contributed.  It makes this path easier to walk at times.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Really working on a full week this week with this complete every single day. I have come close several times, but this week I want the morning Routine to be flawless.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I am going to work on two things,  1) Finding the way to get the money for my first tattoo and 2) writing my novel.  I have until the end of June to get one or the other of these done.

Weightlifting:

I think the best plan right now is to get some dumbbells and come up with routines with those i can do at home.  It might be a high rep, three set thing for some exercises but I need to do something to make sure my muscles stay toned at least.  Once I get a better paying job, gym membership and other things get back on the table.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 6 – Replacing Memories with Memories

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

If you have been reading this last week an a half, you are very well aware that I am in the midst of what I what I would call a Grey Storm.  That is depression is overshadowing my life with dark clouds and a little rain. Mostly I just have been having a lot of problems feeling anything at all as I go through my day.

I mentioned that I felt this was triggered in my journal posts by some memories which were triggered in part by the time of year and by a dream.  The time of year is significant because last year at this time my organist at the church died.  He was a good friend and the last of my musicians with any real talent that I started with nine and half years previously.  Everyone I had started with in that regard was gone and I dubbed this time as the day the music died.  End of an era really for the church which really was completely true once I left.

I was really hurting and the only one who was listening to me at the time was a young woman who I ended up having an affair with.  I am not proud of this; and there are no good excuses for it, but there were reasons.  The starting point though was my organists death and reaching out at the time in friendship to her and her to me at this time last year.

The other trigger was a dream I had last Tuesday (Feb. 5th).  It was very vivid and real in its feeling.  I was walking down a downtown street. I had to find a bathroom and ducked into a restaurant.  I found the bathroom and went in a started to do my business.  While there heard someone enter the room.  They stopped behind me.  They stood there and I could feel their presence but they didn’t move. It was actually unnerving.  I finished and then turned around only to find it was the man from the church who I had considered a friend for well over nine years standing there. Now, I know he was no friend at all, and I would consider him a backstabbing liar and thief. He was smiling at me but it was a wicked smile.  He shook his head at me like a person who has judged you and has nothing but contempt.  I snorted and walked out. My general approach to any memory of this man is to basically say “Fuck you asshole” and try to push it from my mind.

As I was trying to leave the restaurant, there she was – the young lady in question sitting at the table by the door facing me.  She too was smiling.  Not in a judgmental way, just that same smile she always had when she saw me.  I couldn’t get out without going right next to her, and I couldn’t go back with the man behind me, so I went forward and sat down at the table to her left. Yes, the dream was so vivid I can remember details like this. She looked at me and the smile faded from her face as I sat down.  I tried to speak but discovered I couldn’t.  She smiled again and then sang a song.  The weird thing is, I can’t remember what it was.  I can remember everything else in great detail but the song and then she laughed.  I got up and ran out. I could feel both of them following me and then my alarm for work went off.  I was extremely thankful to be getting out of bed that morning, but the dream shook me.

Since then, I have been walking a Grey Storm. Normally dreams fade from my mind until in a week I can’t remember them, but not this one. It was so vivid and real, I just can’t shake it.  I find that the only thing that helps is thinking about other memories that are more pleasant.  Replacing memories with memories.

Today is February 15th.  That probably has the significance to many of you as the day after Valentine’s Day.  To me it has a little more meaning as 30 years ago this is the day  I proposed to my wife. I had chickened out the night before.  But then I knew that I wanted her in my life forever and I took a brave pill.  I asked her the next day in the front seat of my old 1979 LTD.  The rest is history.  It was a great day for me.  One right now that I hold close to my mind, so I can’t see or feel the others that are not so good.

Only time will tell if this technique of using good memories of the long past will help with the memories of the recent past. I am also hoping new memories of the future will help as well.  I need some wins and some success.  I just hate times like this where everything is in autopilot and I am just walking without feeling. My heart and soul going into shutdown mode and staying numb, so I don’t feel pain. At least for now, the good memories of the past pull me out of the numb for a bit.

I suspect there will be more The Grey and The Wayfarer posts.  They will probably increase in frequency from now until the end of summer.  Mostly, I hope to remember some good things to keep out the bad, but I know me.  This is going to be a love/hate year when it comes to memories. and so The Grey will be ever present, like it or not.

Walking the Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Storm

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If someone were to ask what is the most difficult thing for me right now it is to be positive about my future. This is an essential element to my understanding of personal honor. The reason is that the past right now, and memories of it, are very strong.  February last year is the time when things really started to go off course and I ended up in some very stormy seas because of it, all the way to the end of summer. I unfortunately has a dream Tuesday of last week that kind of supercharged all that because there were two people in that dream that were center stage to all that. Both of which hurt me pretty badly, and both of which I now regret ever being involved with in the first place. I also have my own demons from my own actions that were not in line with what I would consider good virtue.  MY introspective moments seem to lead to the following observation.

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The real need right now is to look to the horizon and see my course. The drag on that is the storm of The Grey, memories, self battles and negative feelings about last year.  I am trying very hard to look at this as phantom storm because it is really not there; but at the same time, it is. The cold reality sometimes is that some memories never fade and some scars never completely heal. I will probably carry some of this the rest of my life.  My hope is to find a way to adapt and see past it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Honor.  It’s a difficult word because it very much involves looking toward the future with a positive eye.  I am doing that positive part more as a matter of discipline than feelings right now. That makes the honor thing a little shaky because I don’t feel honorable.  But honor, the real stuff is a little deeper than feelings. I need to remember that more and more.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

There is some truth to the idea that on some days courage might be displayed in the fact that I get up and face the day. Getting out of bed a couple of times last week was the most courageous thing I did. Mostly though I am finally seeing that some days are just a grind and I need to just move and keep walking.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth is I am at that point where things are just work.  Not the good kind of work either. It is just the day-to-day of doing what I need to do with that numbness that accompanies The Grey.  The reason I hate this is it reminds me so much of how I felt just a year ago as I would saddle up every morning on Sunday and go to preach.  I hate that feeling, but the only remedy I have found is to keep doing what needs to be done and wait for it to fade. I just don’t know how long that is going to be given the memories are pretty strong that keep stirring things up.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I have one thing that seems to light my way these days – Love.  I love my wife and I am working very hard to show that as much as possible. At the same time I fear that I am doing things purely to make up for what happened last year; out of guilt, and that is really not the kind of love I want to express.  More of a love that is new and fresh.  A new horizon kind of love.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Pretty good.  It is hard to develop new habits, but my best bet for doing so is in the morning. It also has been providing motivation to get up every morning; and once I am started, I don’t seem to have trouble in keeping going.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I need to reassess what is possible by July.  But these things could be the kind of things that pull me out of the Storm.  One victory here might be the key to having the summer not be so draining.

Weightlifting:

It is these kind of emotional moments that make me miss the gym and my iron.  The iron never is anything but what it is. I miss the consistency of it.  I really hope i find a new job soon and that it is close to a new gym.  In the meantime, I am thinking a few dumbbells and a simple folding bench might be my answer so I don’t go completely soft.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 1:1 -“If There is a Divine Center to the Universe, It is NOT You.”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text: 

“If There is a Divine Center to the Universe, It is NOT You.” – The Book of Rabyd 1:1

Thoughts and Exposition:

I of course ran into my first problem with The Book of Rabyd rewrite right out the gate with verses one and two of the old version: Rabyd 1:1 – ‘There is a God’ and Rabyd 1:2 – ‘You are Not God’.  The first verse I would consider a little dogmatic now. The second really is a result of understanding one simple truth; that you are not the center of the universe.  After much debate with myself I came up with: “If There is a Divine Center to the Universe, It is NOT You.”to replace them both.

The first part of verse one is a propositional phrase.  The idea is possibility without being sure of it to the point of arrogance. I think there are two dangers I am confronting with this phrase. 1) That given the vastness of the universe it is highly likely that any notion of the divine that any religion creates; if the divine exists, is probably wrong in some way and 2) To dismiss the notion of the divine altogether is also equally arrogant given the vastness of the universe and how little we know about it.

The second phrase is one of humility.  The real kind, not the fake kind of humility that religion produces, which I find to be attention seeking. “Look how humble I am and how much faith I have.”  Or the kind that life knocking you down achieves, which is actually a low sense of personal honor.  No, real humility is the basis for all the virtues of life. Humility leads to love, justice and wisdom because one can acknowledge that you are but one being in a vast universe. But also there are other beings trying to do the best they can in this same universe with you.  Real humility leads to respect of self and others which is the foundation of all the rest.

All the virtues, no matter what you name them, should flow from this humble understanding of self and respect for both yourself and others. For me the Nine Noble Virtues are my way of expression of this, but each person could choose their own. It is where; despite the fact that I am not the center of the universe, I will act with my better and stronger self.

This change of course leads to questions about what legacy I want to pass on here. One simple one really – You don’t have to be the center of the universe to have a great life and great relationships.  Just genuine humility about yourself and respect for others.  This should lead to a Honor, Liberty and Solid Relationships.  Real humility has those results.

Given the vastness of our universe and our humility as we stand before it, we really have one choice before us – to make our own way as best we can and respect that others are doing the same.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:1 -“If There is a Divine Center to the Universe, It is NOT You.”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Walk” Pantera Cover by Breaking Benjamin with Disturbed’s David Draiman as lead singer. 

Another unique moment in time when you have members of two bands do a cover of another band.  The real problem with music fans is that they tend to be so competitive and in truth musicians might have their rivalries, but they do get along better probably than the fans.  Metal fans can be the worst.  For me if it sounds good I will listen to it. And what sounds good really is a matter of pure opinion. I like this one.

Poem: “I am a Wolf” by Unknown

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Meditation:

Image may contain: one or more people, text that says '"Fear is not real. Fear is simply the product of thoughts that you create. Danger is very real, but fear is choice."'

Song of Preparation: Humility – Carl Sagan:

Not a song, but a cold dose of reality, as we look at the first verse of the Book of Rabid.

Text: 

“If There is a Divine Center to the Universe, It is NOT You.” – The Book of Rabyd 1:1

Sermon:

I of course ran into my first problem with The Book of Rabyd rewrite right out the gate with verses one and two of the old version: ‘There is a God’ and ‘You are Not God’.  The first verse I would consider a little dogmatic now. The second really is a result of understanding one simple truth; that you are not the center of the universe.  After much debate with myself I came up with: “If There is a Divine Center to the Universe, It is NOT You”to replace them both.

The first part of verse one is a propositional phrase.  The idea is possibility without being sure of it to the point of arrogance. I think there are two dangers I am confronting with this phrase. 1) That given the vastness of the universe it is highly likely that any notion of the divine that any religion creates; if it exists, is probably wrong in some way and 2) To dismiss the notion of the divine altogether is also equally arrogant given the vastness of the universe and how little we know about it.

The second phrase is one of humility.  The real kind, not the fake kind of humility that religion produces, which I find to be attention seeking. “Look how humble I am and how much faith I have.”  Or the kind that life knocking you down achieves, which is actually a low sense of personal honor.  No, real humility is the basis for all the virtues of life Humility leads to love, justice and wisdom because one can acknowledge that you are but one being in a vast universe. But also there are other beings trying to do the best they can on this same planet with you.  Real humility leads to respect of self and others which is the foundation of all the rest.

All the virtues, no matter what you name them, should flow from this humble understanding of self and respect for both yourself and others. For me the Nine Noble Virtues are my way of expression of this, but each person could choose their own. It is where; despite the fact that I am not the center of the universe, I will act with my better and stronger self.

This change of course leads to questions about what legacy I want to pass on here. One simple one really – You don’t have to be the center of the universe to have a great life and great relationships.  Just genuine humility about yourself and respect for others.  This should lead to a Honor, Liberty and Solid Relationships.  Real humility has those results.

Closing Song: George Thorogood – One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer (Live) 1984:

One last Skaal before we go.  Blues. It’s always good. Enjoy Your Week.

Parting Thought:

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Given the vastness of our universe and our humility as we stand before it, we really have one choice before us – to make our own way as best we can and respect that others are doing the same.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Between Battles

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I have a lot more time off this week than normal from work.  I only work three days and for a total of a little more than twenty hours.  Not the greatest for the bank account but from a certain perspective it is an opportunity to do some other things and have the time to get my new career going.

So this week is also a good opportunity to do some thing to make life at home better and take a look at what can be done about things that are not getting down right now.  It is not truly going to be a week of rest so much as time between battles to adjust, train and fix my weapons and adjust my armor to use the warrior analogy.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I am feeling my life is getting more about the future and less about the past every day.  That is good. It’s nice to put past battles in the past and look forward to see what new ones are on the horizon. Self-worth or honor is something that is growing in me and has reached the point that I feel I am more valuable than my current employment level. Time to find a more honorable occupation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The real issue as always is Courage. Putting myself out there are my age and with kind of restart attitude is a little challenging, but a little courage goes a long way.  The right thing to do all across the board is to act and get this next step moving in my life.  The time between battles is a time to focus and prepare and then take those steps toward the next challenge.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth is, I still find this task daunting at times.  It is not something I was completely unprepared for.  I was going to school for a reason after all.  It is jut the events of this last year have made this a little bit of a crisis moment instead of smooth transition.  Trying to smooth out some of that bumpy road is also a between battles task.

Higher Virtue: Love:

My motivation is all this is the woman of my life now.  My wife of almost thirty years.  The sad thing is this relationship almost came to an end.  The joyous thing is that at the last moment we both decided to give it another shot and so far it is working.

The one thing that is truly good is the realization that love does not allow you to take relationships like this for granted.  You can’t assume because love is active not passive and you have to keep expressing it to have it work. I guess if there is a silver lining to all this; it is this lesson, and we both have learned it. Forgiveness is definitely a needed, but more importantly is the need to proactively keep your love growing and pure.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I like the changes and meditation is starting to feel more normal.  I did give up the lotus position thing and settle for just sitting in my chair instead but I feel that this still is a relaxed position that allows me to meditate without distraction.  I still want to add candle and incense to the whole thing but it is mostly a matter of money that this hasn’t happened.  This is an important thing to me and I don’t want to be cheap about it or not get something that truly works for me.  It should be noted that I look forward to getting up in the morning which is one of the goals here.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Yeah, I know I can do some things on this list very quickly if I wanted to.  However, as I sit here between battles and think to myself one of the harder things needs to come off of here by July.  It needs to be something significant.

Weightlifting:

I am thinking of baby steps at this point.  A portable dumbbell bench and a few dumbbells might get me back into the basics for muscle tone purposes. Once I know where I am working, I can look for a gym but even then a good home gym long-term is a better solution.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 1)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) for me are about peace and rest in the end.  It is about putting yourself into a position to be free to the point where there is nothing but peace. The NNV are about achieving this warrior’s peace.  They may be a warrior code but the end result; the end desire is peace. It is the image of the honorable king on his throne.  His acts of courage have cause his enemies to sue for peace and his commitment to truth means his people trust him. He and his realm are at rest, peace and growing in prosperity.

The Foundational Virtues achieve this in a multitude of ways, but mostly they end anxiety and worry.  Honor means you are at peace with yourself and no longer are anxious about your inner battles. Courage means you act instead of worrying about things.  Truth means you are not anxious about what you understand and believe. You know you pursue what is honorable, courageous and true so there is little to fear when it comes to inner conflict, cowardice or lies unless they are in others.  You simply know and are at peace that you are honorable, courageous and truthful.

This week has a simple goal.  To complete as many things as possible each day but also to introduce some rewards for completion of the day, so it is in my best interest to start living things.  The planning and all the organization is mostly over.  There will be small adjustments to be sure and a growing understanding of what I am doing, but the skeleton of my vision for myself is finished. Now it is simply time to flesh it out by living it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

The meditation each morning has really started to help with my sense of inner honor and peace. I have gotten to the point also where I can move through life and don’t give a shit what dishonorable people think about me. But I also value people and their opinions when I can see honor in them.  I don’t know if I have achieved everything here; but I feel like I have achieved a level of honor, and I am looking to try to build to the next one.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I have actually acted in courage a lot this past week.  There were people to talk to and confront about certain issues and I have done that. I don’t know what the results will be, but I have don what needed to be done at the right time. I still have some people who try to push this Alpha Wolf around.  They find it more difficult than they think and it is amusing to me. I working on making sure this doesn’t spill over into asshole behavior as I try to respect the humanity of others no matter who they are. But if you don’t respect me; well that’s not my problem, but it will be yours if you take it too far with me. I accept the loneliness tha goes along with some of this but that’s the price of being a wolf instead of a sheep.

See the source image

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

The truth that is most challenging is the one you find in the mirror.  That said, I don’t mind looking at myself in the mirror anymore. That’s the truth of it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I find a great deal of peace these days in the arms of my wife.  The love we are growing has old roots but it has new branches and that is very good. It pulls everything together when I am holding her.  The king needs his queen’s love and that is particularly true for me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Thus routine is getting more and more automatic.  The meditation time is becoming more productive and focused and so another goal is achieved here. Of all my routines it is the one with the least problems, if any.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

This is the stuff that makes life worth living.  I need to look at it that way and I think something will cross itself off of here very soon.

Weightlifting:

Until I have a new job and know where I am working for a while, the gym question is a little problematic. I probably could solve this problem by building up a set of dumbbells slowly over time as I can afford them plus a compact but functional weight bench. It isn’t the best equipment for what I do, but it would save time and be versatile.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – How to Deal with Illness

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I spent the majority of the weekend in bed.  I even called in to work to tell you how bad it was. Except I have learned that the best way for me to handle things when I am sick is to rest and sleep as much as possible.  Let my body have all the resources it needs to fight off whatever it is and then I recover quicker.

When it comes to my routines, meditation, etc. It pretty much goes out the window that day.  Some things take precedence over those things and recovery of health is one of them. That said, I woke up Sunday, did my morning routine and headed out the door to work. I wasn’t 100 percent but I was capable of working so there I went.  My hope was hope was to get back home and rest some more.

That said some meditation found its way to my sick-bed.  It is strange the things you think of when you are sick and perhaps it is best not to dwell on anything too much in that state of mind.  Nothing positive will come of it.  But Meditation was used to calm myself down a couple of times and relax so I could rest.  The point of routines is to develop strengths that you can use in moments of crisis or struggle and sickness is a little of both.

I started the week coming out of sickness but still managed to go the first day pretty strong but probably resting and sleeping more than I wished.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I think one of the hardest things to do while sick is maintain a positive attitude. You really have those moments of challenging your self-worth or honor.  it is hard to see the end of things when sick, like certain sicknesses will end eventually.  It’s probably the only positive thing you can think of at the time – ‘this too will pass’.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I don’t know if courage counts while sick unless you are facing something major and life threatening. The normal flu and colds are mostly a matter of Perseverance.  But I have to say when you feel sick and have to function and do so I might take an action of courage to keep going.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth.  I am not immortal. I am not invulnerable. I am not super man.  I am human and subject to human frailty. Hard lessons every time I am sick but lessons I need to remind myself of each day.

Higher Virtue: Love:

My wife is a saint when I am sick.  I ask very little of her because I don’t want to be one of those men who is a big baby when he is sick.  That said, she often does a lot of things on her own to help me and take care of me. I have to say there is a lot of love to it and for that I am very grateful.  I always plan to return that when she is sick.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Major adjustments here are the removal of Breakfast and Supplements and Medications which are now part of the evening routine.  Meditation is now more ‘formal’ but also more focused on what it needs to be.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I think number 2 is up first. then number 6 for the second half of the year.  I just need a better job with more income to make the first happen.

Weightlifting:

I don’t know, the problem of getting a new gym is made more complicated by the fact that I have no idea where my new job might be. This would have a tremendous bearing on that subject.  I don’t want my new gym to just be a temporary place but a new gym home and that means I would have to have some sense of permanence to both my work and life which is something I don’t have right now. I might simply have consider what I can do at home for minimal cost.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Skald Tales and Poems – Poem – “Soul Blood”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

“Soul Blood”

I remember in the heat of summer,

where blood poured from my soul.

Wounds received from terrible blades

from the front, behind and within.

 

Shades of crimson flecked with gold

Pooling beneath my feet and pouring over my hands

As they tried to stop the bleeding.

Vainly they tried.

 

Weak I was on my knees

Destroyed and anemic

My heart slowing

Empty, alone, dying

 

Echos of the voices that wielded the blades – mocking me

A good friend becomes betrayer

A lover becomes a stranger

My own silent faith, echoing in my ears.

 

For days I bled, with no hope.

Until the one I betrayed saw my wounds

She did not raise her own blade in vengeance

Rather she touched my soul with her healing hand.

 

The bleeding stopped just in time.

Her own soul blood poured into me and restored my soul

She closed the wounds with stitches of compassion

I now bleed no more.

 

The scars remain forever

Reminders of who wasn’t true.

But my soul’s blood pumps strong once more

Reminding me of she who became my Eir

A Poem by Edward W. Raby, Sr. – January 14th, 2019

Author Notes:

O have written this poem over the last week or so.  Finishing it on the 14th of January 2019.

In this poem I have been trying to capture the feelings of the month of August 2018.  Feelings that are strong and were at the time devastating. I came up with the title of soul-blood as a way describe it.  I then ran with the concept.

Emotionally this was difficult as one as on the one hand every time I write a poem I am reminded of the person who helped me understand and write them better.  “Lover becomes a stranger” is her line and it still hurts to think on it.  The scar throbs when I write a poem because of her, so to speak.

One the other hand, I have for the first time ever in this poem truly used my wife as an inspiration for the poem.  She is my Eir.  Eir being the Valkyrie known for her healing ability.  My wife became my Eir that month.  She has been so ever since and of all people she had the least reason to take on that role.  The Valkyrie I waited for at the time was her in the end.

Hope you enjoy this poem and I always appreciate comments on my poems as I still am very new to this.

Thanks for reading,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!