Odin’s Eye – Halloween (Samhain)

Happy Thor’s Day

Every once in a while I make the statement that I am a Pagan or have Pagan tendencies.  I have to confess the main reasons for this are spirituality and  holidays.  I suppose this post is more for educational purposes than it is expression of any beliefs I might have; but I do embrace the idea that a truer understanding in the realm of spirituality might be our hearts reaching out to the world around us, and paganism has that in abundance.

By the next Odin’s Eye we will be past Halloween and so I want to talk about the holiday before it happens.  I must freely confess now that my favorite holiday of the year is actually Halloween.  I never could say that because I was a Christian and minister, but now I can.  I love the whole thing.  The dressing up in costumes, the carving pumpkins, trick or treat, the whole darkness and death of it.  It reminds us all things die and when it comes to the seasons this is particularly true.  In a sense Halloween is the celebration of the end of the harvest season and the end of the year for pagans.

Now Christians tend to make anything Satanic if it doesn’t line up with their beliefs but Halloween and Samhain are hardly Satanic.  The real problem is that Christians also steal a lot from pagans and the fact that All Saints Day is November 1 is no accident because Halloween is the big day for pagans.  It’s about countering it with a Christian holiday. But Christians steal a lot more than that and holidays for Christianity tend to be near to pagan ones and even use pagan symbols but Christianize them.

That said, I like the basic concepts of paganism’s spirituality because it creates a very individualized belief system to the person while at the same time allows community spirit. At the same time, it has aspects of religion that I pretty much as a deist reject.

Faith:

No I don’t really have faith in what is commonly called Wicca or Paganism on that side of the aisle.  When I say I have pagan tendencies, I mean I draw my spirituality from looking at the world around me and my inward self.  This means paganism has many schools of thought and most of them have the same religious nature as the monotheistic faiths.  I have faith in my abilities to advance myself and be in tune with the world around me.  That’s about it, but it lines up with paganism’s basic foundational tenets.

Religion:

Halloween for the Pagan marks the end of the year and starts the new year with the season of Samhain.  The beginning of the long dark period before rebirth and renewal in the spring.  Different pagan groups view this differently but Halloween was a celebration originally and Christians are probably the most guilty of trying to add sinister qualities to it to discredit it.  Mostly though it is a time and day to honor the past and past people. To honor what has gone on before.

Theology:

Theologically speaking as a deist who believes in something; but as an agnostic I don’t know what it is, I think paganism is more honest about looking at what we know for sure and honoring it.  What can we know for sure?  The people who have gone before us that have blazed the path so we are where we are today.  Honoring the dead and their work and sacrifices is something we can truly honor and know we are honoring something that is indeed real.

Spirituality:

I suppose my most spiritual moment this last summer came while standing at the graveside of my father.  Given all that I was going through, I was wondering what he would have said or done at that moment.  I have to admit that it was there at his graveside I began to realize some sense of reality of what I was doing and perhaps honoring my commitments.  Mostly to my wife.  I still struggled after that but that moment left me pondering my life and in the end became the seed of the motivation that caused me to consider reconciliation with my wife.  Perhaps there is far more spiritual truth to the honoring those who have gone before. All religions seem to have elements of this and perhaps it is one of the more valuable contributions of religion in general.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – ‘Nudism’

Happy Tyr’s Day

As a Christian theologian I wrote on the subject of human nudity a lot.  You can still read most of it at All Things Rabyd under the page titled God and Nudity.  Through all that, I developed some interesting friends in the nudist community.  I discovered that the term ‘Christian nudist’ is not actually an oxymoron.  I see recently the Sky Clad Therapist among my recent followers.  He is someone I have had a long association with on WordPress through the years on this subject.

Back in the Christian days, I spent a lot of time a Biblical scholar and theologian trying to come to grips with nudity from a Christian perspective. I went through the entire Bible and came to some controversial conclusions.  Some of the more thought provoking ones were that God’s view of nudity is that it was good, that the Bible makes no distinction about women’s breasts as being sinful and that if we were to follow the gospel’s implications to their logical conclusions, then we should return to our original state if all sin has been removed by Christ – ‘naked and unashamed’.

Practically of course, one cannot act on such conclusions either as a Christian in Western society or particularly as a minister.  Now that I am neither, I face some thoughts on this matter because the only thing really now is the social mores of our culture and the decency laws.  I say this because personally I have been just as comfortable in my skin as I am in my clothes and have been that way most of my life. The question now is does my departure from Christianity change my perspective on nudism?  On to the Wolves and Ravens.

Geri (Need): Do we have a need to be naked?  I think we do.  Practically I know for a biological fact our skin functions in its job better when exposed to the open air.  From vitamin D production to simply not developing the fungus on our bodies that comes from sweat and oil being trapped next to our skin by our clothing, I would say there is good evidence being naked for some frames of time leads to better health.  Psychologically, I have to say there is something relaxing about it.  I know what others have told me social nudity has allowed them to have a better positive body image, better understanding of the equality of human beings and other benefits. So perhaps our minds, hearts and bodies do have a need for it.

Freki (Want):  Do people want to be naked? Honestly there are surely those that do.  The question is what of the rest of people who have social mores about it and don’t ‘want to see that.’  The point is though there are some of us who like to be sky-clad from time to time and I don’t think this can be labeled as inherently bad depending on the motivation.  From and intimacy standpoint, nudity with lovers is desired and I can’t say that is inherently bad either.  The issue is motivation and what the nudity is being used for.  But even the uses of nude photography and art have their want aspects that requires looking at motivation. To want to be naked in and of itself – no problem.  If there is a purpose attached then the moral question shifts to whether the want is beneficial or detrimental to self or society.

Huginn (Reason): If I apply straight reason to nudism and nakedness, I really can’t say there is any reasonable detriment to either self or society.  You can’t make a positive statement that a person’s nudity causes harm in and of itself. If a woman strips her clothes off in a crowded room, no one can claim that action or her nudity harms anything other than their sensibilities.  The only reason to be applied to such action is that because some do not have such a view, it might bring harm to her because some would be offended at take action against her – physical or societal.  Reason should tell the nudist, to be wary of the laws of the land and what society thinks to avoid consequences. But no reasonable inquiry can find that nudity in and of itself harms anyone.

Muninn (Wisdom): Wisdom says that there are certain societal issues that, while it is not reasonable to have moral objections to them, people do not act on reason. Probably some of the most noteworthy of such issues are marriage and sex.  Certainly in this category is nudism.  Nudity generates a varied response.  Those that want to fulfill their need and desire to be nudists need to exercise a lot of caution and wisdom.  Privacy and finding private places is a good start with this. If there is a need for social nudity, finding places dedicated to such activity is probably a better bet than fighting laws.

I am not saying to not educate and try to find a way to more rational laws.  I think for instance the topfree movement is a good movement.  What I am saying is you better ask yourself if your activism is worth the money in fines or time in jail. There is also the question of family to consider.  As much as individual practice is at the forefront, your spouse may not be of the same mind or the rest of your family.  Nudists simply have to accept the fact that not everyone can separate nudity from sexuality.

Conclusion:  Personally, I am not an open practitioner of nudism. It is part of my life but I do so privately, when no one else is around. It is part of my morning routine from the time I get up; through meditation, stretching, breakfast and my shower. I sleep naked and have for decades.  I don’t really have any rational objection to it anymore, nor do I appeal to any authority other than reason and wisdom.  I keep my practice private and to myself. I find it liberating, comforting and spiritually uplifting as a spiritual discipline.

I think that is probably the way most nudism is practiced in western society.  People being comfortable in the privacy of their own homes.  To be honest, we should respect that and it’s none of our concern most of the time.  For the nudist, I would say that it’s OK to be one, but listen to the ravens.  Use your reason and wisdom as you exercise your needs and wants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Crisis of Faith

Happy Thor’s Day

Probably for the purpose of the future of Odin’s Eye I am going to cover three areas. Firstly, I want to cover my current state of belief in greater detail so I will have three posts one on each of the following: Deism, Humanism and Paganism.  Secondly, I want to offer my four objections to the God of the Bible in detail, so there will be  post on each of them. Thirdly, If I am reading my calendar correctly, this will take me into December as I will probably use Odin’s Eye as a sounding board around Halloween and when it falls on Thanksgiving to talk about those holidays and how I celebrate them now ending with Yule or Christmas.

Before I start all of that though, I want to talk about the nature of my Crisis of Faith and some of the foundational things that led to it. Before I begin going trough the four things I normally do in Odin’s Eye, I want to explain on an emotional level this crisis I had this past two years was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to face.  I would rate only my father’s death and the period time around my near divorce as more emotionally trying.  That said this crisis lasted over two years.  It was not an instantaneous thing and it probably led to a very vulnerable emotional state over a long period of time.  Since I have owned up to the fact I just don’t believe in Christianity anymore, it has been very welcome relief from the emotional strain.

Faith

My crisis of faith starts with the simple fact that as far as faith goes I was told to have a thinking Christianity.  That is a reasonable faith all my life.  It is interesting that my Sunday School teacher seems to at the end of her life had a similar experience as myself, but it was she who also told me that God can handle your questions and will be able to answer them or he is not God.  I was taught early on to search the Scriptures.  It was in this search I simply found eventually after forty years, questions I still do not have answers for and probably never will.  The issue though with faith is that the definition of faith in Hebrews 11:1 suddenly became nonsense to me because at face reading it is nonsense. It’s simply nonsense to say that which we hope for is evidence.  Wishful thinking but not evidence.

Religion

It’s not that the religion known as Christianity hasn’t played a part as well in the crisis.  Throughout my ministry career of twenty years, I have watched people who claim Christianity, in the name of  their religion, do some pretty despicable things to each other. One of my personal objections to Christianity is the gospel doesn’t live up to the hype of personal transformation of those who claim to have been ‘saved’.  It was never the religion that appealed to me.  It was the theology.  In the end the rituals and doctrinal statements and the expectations of the religion left me empty and if anything drained me, so it offered no comfort or security to my faith.

Theology

It’s the theology really that certain questions (which I will go over in the coming weeks) that left me going – “What the hell?”  It actually started with the notion of ‘sin’ as a concept.  When I realized that there was nothing natural in the world that said certain things are inherently sinful, I began to sense a problem.  If some preacher in my childhood hadn’t come along and told me I was a sinner, I would have never had that notion in my head. Sin is simply not self-evident, nor has the God who exists (if one exists) ever come to me personally and told me I was a sinner. In a sense Christianity tells you that you have a disease (without first proving empirically that the disease exists) and then offers you a cure.  They cure a problem of their own creation.

With that understood I realized a few more things about the Bible and the god it presents. 1) The Bible has no empirical evidence that it is inspired.  It makes that claim but never proves it – you accept it on faith or you don’t. 2) The God of the Bible seems to not have a very good plan for solving the problem of sin for a supreme being.  Why doesn’t he just forgive the sin against him like he expects us to do with each other?  Nope, Instead he kills his own son!?!  3) The god of the Bible’s justice is a little suspect, especially when you consider Hell. I will go over these in the coming months so bear with me as I offer more explanations over time.

Spirituality

Through it all however, I have held on to some beliefs – Deism, Humanism and elements of what Christians would consider Pagan have survived.  I believe in Reason, Humanity and the Spiritual.  I meditate but for different reason.  Probably the weird thing still to me is I don’t pray.  To whom?  Prayer has always bothered me anyway because most of the time it is asking for things and when a prayer is ‘answered’ you never hear the end of it from those who prayed because they claim credit for the result even though they might have had very little to do with it.  I figure the supreme being of the universe either doesn’t give a fuck, gave us what we need in ourselves to handle the problem or doesn’t exist so we are on our own.  Pray is in some ways presumptuous that our problems and our value means something to the divine to the point they will act on our behalf.  If god truly is our friend its  pretty one side friendship because of the way we pray.

For me a lot of things are spiritual but how that matters is still something I exploring and learning about to see where I am and where I am going.  All of this has brought me back to a Seeker level and to be honest this spiritual wayfarer prefers to stay that way.  If the divine powers that might exist, choose to bless me or do something for me may it be because of my deeds as I walk. not because I begged them through prayer.

Basically what I am saying this involved belief in Christianity in relationship to reasonable assessment.  Nothing more and nothing less. If you think its more personal because of recent events in my life, you would be wrong.  Those have an effect on my spirituality because of the emotions involved.  But my Crisis of faith was intellectual and theological in particular.

What I want people to understand is that a crisis of faith is a serious matter.  It rips you up in ways only another person who has been through it can truly understand.  If you have never been through it, I am sorry you can’t relate but I can tell you don’t dismiss the emotions involved or the seriousness of them. It can cause deep depression that is no laughing matter.  It also shouldn’t be just dismissed for many other reasons.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 1 – The Body (Odin)

The old man walked along the beach. at least he appeared to be an old man.  Indeed he had been alive for many years but age had done very little to stop him or slow him down.  He was wearing a grey cloak that went all the way to the ground and a hood was pulled over his head.  In the occasional flash that peeked out from underneath the cloak one could see the glint of a grey chain mail shirt as he moved.  In truth if one could see under the cloak one would see a hardened male body, muscled and scarred with many scars.

The one thing that could be seen is his face if one looked straight on at him.  It was wise and aged but still very strong.  His blue eye smoldered with life and fire.  His other eye covered by a patch.  He had given it up long ago for wisdom. A grey beard trimmed and braided into two braids than hung down his chest.  The other thing that could be seen was his strong right hand which grasped a spear that was a couple of feet taller than him.  Made of ash wood and tipped with shiny unstained steel.  Balanced to the point of perfection, it could strike a target no matter the skill of the one who wielded it. The man smiled as he recalled this, he had only one eye so this came in handy.  More importantly to him though was that no oath swore on this spear could be broken.

The man was after all no man at all – but the Norse god Odin, the All Father. For all the good that did him anymore.  Gods are dependent on worshipers for the extent of their power.  Odin knew his power was not what it once was when he took on the Frost Giants all those millennia ago.  But it was enough that brave deeds were in the world and some men still searched for knowledge.  The Norse gods never did expect the fawning type of worship other gods demanded.  Just respect and to live bravely in front of them and show that by actions not words.  In this humanity still supplied some strength to him and his fellow residents of Asgard.

The place he was walking now had been saved by him centuries ago.  He sensed the fall of humanity’s worship toward Asgard.  The Religion of the Cross slowly grew in power until it pushed his out.  Probably only the fact that the Christians so readily combined Pagan and Heathen rituals and celebrations with their own that he and his fellow gods been allowed to survive.  But in those last days where his power still had enough significance, he had created this island.  Built by him through sundering a small portion of each of the nine worlds and taking a branch of the one world tree, he was able create this place.  This Island where the power of the Old Norse gods was still preserved.  He frowned.  How far they had fallen.

The specific beach on which he was walking was stunningly beautiful.  The blue ice-cold ocean lapping its waves against the sand.  The tall forest trees of all types on the other hand.  Bushes and other temperate vegetation providing cover for small animals and birds.  The beach sand itself was the light tan strewn with pebbles and the occasional rock.

As he thought of this, two crows came down the beach toward him.  The were large crows and ancient.  Huginn and Muninn, his old companions.  Their caws caught his attention for they were signalling that they had found something.  One of them landed on his right shoulder and the other perched on his left forearm. It was Huginn on his arm and the bird informed him with its whispers that there was a body of a man down the beach. Odin raised an eyebrow as he got the full report and then raised his head and whistled.

In seconds two wolves appeared. Both of them were huge, standing as tall as a tall man’s waist. One was snow-white with blue eyes – Geri. The other was midnight black with red eyes – Freki.  Both of them ran with speed to their master who greeted them warmly.  He then sent the down the beach ahead of him to find this body.  His voice was strong and commanding as it always was, he being king of Asgard.  He told them to guard it until he got there.  The Ravens left him and followed the wolves, flying above them.

Odin headed out at pace but he lost sight of the wolves for while as they rounded a curve on the beach.  His ravens still circled above the treeline and he could see where they had started to circle over where the body must lay.  As he rounded the bend in the coastline, the picture came into view.

Laying face down, spread-eagle was a naked man.  Odin could see by comparing his size to Geri who was standing next the man that he was easily as tall as himself.  He was also muscular and his hair, cut short, was black but it was salt and peppered with grey hairs  along with white temples. An older man who took care of his body apparently.  Muninn swooped down and landed on Odin’s shoulder and began to whisper in his ear stuff for Odin to remember. Odin nodded as he approached and listened to the bird.

When Odin reached the body he bent down next to it.  It was puzzling and he could not see any stitch of clothing like someone who had during storm had survived it.  No this man was clean naked like he had been stripped of it.   Only the glint of a silver chain around the man’s neck could be seen.  Muninn cocked his head sideways and also looked quizzically at the man.  Huginn was still circling overhead and Geri sniffed the body.  Freki stood some distance away, standing guard and staying alert.

Odin reached over and turned the man over. The man’s face was also younger looking than it probably should have been.  He had a goatee which was black and grey like his hair.  His faced was etched with some signs of age but not many. One the chain around the man’s neck was a pendent.  Odin took it in his fingers.  It was a symbol of Thor’s Hammer.  There was something odd about it though.

Odin closed his one eye and then opened it again,  Now the eye glowed with a soft white light and he looked at the man up and down.  He paid particular attention to the pendent though and then he chuckled the laugh of the old and wise when they discover something they should have seen as obvious, but missed it.  He closed his eye again and when he opened it back up it was once again its normal deep blue.

“Not from here are you.  You are from the world outside.  Now the only question is how you got here? Huginn and Muninn, head back to the cabin and tell Frigg I am coming with an unconscious man who will need her healing hand.”

Huginn and Muninn took off without hesitation heading back the way they had come.  Odin laid his spear in the sand and then hosted the man over his shoulder.  He then grabbed his spear again in his right hand and stood effortlessly.  He walked as easily as if he had before unburdened.  His pace was the same.  A god’s strength comes in handy at times.

The man was a puzzle to be sure.  Not of the Island that was for sure.  Odin reflected that he had, when he had created the island, pulled in parts of various Viking clans.  This man was not part of any one of them.  He had the look of some one with an easy life but one who deliberately put himself through physical activity to keep himself strong and athletic.  How long had it been since the last person had gotten through the barrier?  Centuries at least.

Odin pondered this as he always did.  Ragnarok always was in the front of his mind.  The great wolf Fenrir’s face coming at him, the jaws clamping down on him.  Not the fault of Fenrir but his own treachery against the wolf had caused that.  A mistake in the judgment of the gods. They feared Fenrir too much and it had cost them.  It had made them a powerful enemy.  Odin had spent his life trying to delay the end of the world that Fenrir would bring about – Ragnarok.

His concern was his dreams and visions had not told him everything.  Something as simple as a man arriving from the old world outside the island could be the start of the end.  A harbinger of doom is what his man’s appearance could be.  Or it could be nothing.  The amulet though was not of Viking make, although it was the symbol of Thor’s hammer, and it was infused with magic.

The man himself did not look injured.  But his breathing was very shallow and his heart beat very slowly.  Odin hoped Frigg would know more.  He sighed deeply.  So much was lost; and yet, the world he had made here had become loved and familiar to him,  He had wandered its places many times.  While not as great a joy as the world of the One World Tree, he found it stimulating.  He would miss it when Ragnarok actually came.  He hoped that now was not the time.  But he knew that one time, something would signal the end.  As pondered these things, the house he and Frigg called home at times came into view.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Life after Christianity

 

Happy Thor’s Day

People ask me now what I do on Sundays.  Well I work when I am scheduled.  When I have the day off and it’s football season I watch pregame and whatever game I am watching.  I do homework or just relax. I find that I get more rest now than I ever did as a Pastor/Christian on the so-called day of rest.

There is of course a more serious thing to address here isn’t there?  What has happened to me now that my faith in Christianity is gone?  Well, I don’t go to church and I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about sin anymore.  I don’t obsess with other people’s behavior.  I pretty much actually follow the golden rule better than I ever have before.  I leave people alone and expect them to do the same for me.

The bigger question for many of Christianity would probably be – in rejecting Christianity, have you rejected Christ?  Well, that depends on whether you feel Jesus of Nazareth was just a historical figure or the Messiah.  I am not sure and it’s because of the accounts of his life.  I don’t reject Jesus as a historical figure or even as a revolutionary figure.  I just think like Paul Bunyan and John Henry, some people have added some tall tales to his life.  My point is that all the gospels are written by sympathetic believers and it is a reasonable criticism that they might have embellished the stories to prove what they wanted to prove, including the story of the resurrection.

Truth is, I like Jesus; I like his style.  I know it may surprise people but I still read the Bible but not with the same eyes I used to read it with.  I just think it contains truth with a small ‘t’ but I don’t think all of it is Truth with a capital T. Yes, I know someone once remarked that Jesus either is a liar, a lunatic or Lord.  The problem I have with that observation is that Jesus might not be seen as a liar or lunatic if the disciples hadn’t probably added a bunch of stuff to make him seem so.

Faith:

So what do I believe?  I believe in some form of higher power. Whether that is a god, gods and goddesses or the Force I couldn’t tell.  I don’t know enough to say and probably never will.  Like I said before I think it is unreasonably to say on the one hand there is no God and on the other hand it’s also equally unreasonable to think you know for sure what the divine is and how he, she or they work.  I just don’t buy either extreme based on a reasonable look at what humanity knows. I am learning it is far more relaxing to be comfortable with this ignorance. There is little I can do to change it, so I might as well live life as fully as I can.

Now, the one thing I will tell you is that if you are a Christian, I am not saying you are stupid or going to decry you for having faith in it.  I mean I had that faith myself for decades and I consider myself a reasonable human being.  Faith has that effect and so I get the struggle because I have struggled with it too.  I am not going to decry you for it or even make fun of you.  I get it.  For me walking away was years of agonizing frustration of wrestling with something. I simply could not have faith in something that to me didn’t make sense anymore.

Religion:

As a former and now retired pastor, I can say I miss some elements of religion but not many. I miss the fellowship of being with people.  I like gospel music for the vocal harmony of it.  I was never a fan of the pageantry and the rituals.  I did like putting together service that I hoped would inspire people.  I did enjoy preaching. The Pagan Pulpit every week will do the same for me, so I guess I am still good with it.

Putting aside the religion and the nonsense, I actually have been able to focus not so much on ‘avoiding sin’ and living with less sin; but rather, I have been able to focus on what I want to build in my life.  While I can agree with some that religion has done some great things, I also can see that it can also be used to justify some of the most evil acts in history.  It has also allowed those who believe a particular religion to look down their noses and think they are superior to others who are not of their faith.  Worse yet is trying to order society so that others are forced to follow their religion’s ethics even though they might disagree.

Theology:

If there is a god, gods or whatever, I think the theology of special revelation is the last place we want to look to discover what that divine power(s) is like.  Mostly this is because any revelation of the divine, if it actually happened, has to pass through the filter of human beings.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe we are good as a race.  People tend to look at humanity as evil but the vast majority of humans are just trying to make a life for themselves. I think if a person goes bad, it’s just that – they went bad.  They didn’t start that way.

No, it is not our lack of goodness that make special revelation problematic, it’s the fact we are prone to mistakes and such revelation has to be preserved over the centuries and like a game of telephone, the story gets edited and changed over time until the story we have is no longer what actually happened.  Too much humanity gets to play with special revelation and through ignorance, good intentions and yes the occasional person who uses religion to control, changes are made and the original revelation is lost.  Assuming, it wasn’t completely made up in the first place.

Spirituality:

Yes, I do meditate.  But meditation is not exclusively Christian nor is it exclusively religious or a matter of faith. I am not looking for any personal special revelation when I do it and a lot of other people don’t do it for that reason either.  Meditation is simply the act of clearing the mind and calming the emotions. It allows you to think much clearer and so it is what I do a lot to calm myself down and think.

What I don’t do is pray anymore.  I mean looking at it you see so many people using prayer to ask for stuff. They ask for wealth, fame and love for themselves.  It is very rare for people who pray to be truly selfless in their prayers.  If I ever do pray again, it will be like Esmeralda in the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I remain the happy outcast,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – My Faith as It Stands Today

Odins Eye 001

This will normally appear on Thursday; that is Thor’s Day but this opening week of The Grey Wayfarer it will be Friday; that is Freya’s Day. Odin’s Eye, as a post, is about faith, religion, theology and spirituality. Mostly is all of those things as they stand in my life and how I relate to these things. My struggles with religion and faith are pretty much a constant. For most of my life I have struggled with them. My faith as a Christian literally has teetered on the brink several times in my life and only recently have I decided to be truly honest about it and walk away from the religion known as Christianity. For the last few months I have been what I truly am, which is a Deist, a Humanist and a Pagan. More on all three of these as Odin’s Eye continues in the weeks ahead, but for now know that I am no longer a Christian and it has very little to do with recent events.

My Walking Away From Christianity

I want to change people’s perception here about what happened about my faith, because I have been accused of walking away from Christianity because of what Christians have done toward me recently and my observations of Christians. Well, I would be the first to say that has something to do with it, but it was not where the struggle began and one should not look at the followers of a religion to assess whether or not a religion is true. The truth of a religion should be tested in its claims and whether or not such claims can be rationally verified. Experience is no good here because I can tell you every religion has people experience something that ‘verifies’ the religion to the one who had the experience. History is no test either. History will show you that religions all make historical claims but are they verified by outside sources and multiple witnesses? Also, just because something is historical, does not mean that it automatically reveals who God, the gods or the divine reality truly is. Nope we are left with one tool to assess truth and that is reason. There are few things that sets humanity above the rest of the animal kingdom and one of those is the use of reason to assess truth.

I have spent a long time as a Christian trying to mesh its claims with rational investigation and I now can say that some of the claims of Christianity have no rational proof for their claims of truth. Because of this, you take a lot in Christianity hoping it is true, but not really knowing if it is true. Over time through various studies I developed four major objections to the theology of Christianity, for which I could not rationally come to good conclusions. It was these that caused me to walk away from faith, nothing more and nothing less.

Now recent events where Christians have acted toward me in very non-Christian manners may have caused me to walk away faster, but in truth I was already showing my backside to the Christian faith long before then. Not trying to be insulting there, just facing facts. My leaving the faith is my own decision and I am blaming no one for it. There really isn’t ‘blame’ here; just a decision to be honest where I stood. I don’t perceive of my walking away from Christianity as a tragedy from my point of view, although I am sure many Christians would see it as such. To me, I simply became more honest and truly myself. I stopped hiding my failures behind notions of sinfulness and started facing them honestly as a man should face them in this world. I didn’t change, so much as I found my true self. I am a rational human being and there are four things that I cannot reconcile with being rational human being and being a Christian.

My Four Theological Objections:

  1. The Bible cannot be rationally verified to be God inspired. The Bible makes a claim to be inspired but it never proves it and there is no empirical proof that the Bible is any different from any other book in the world. If you believe the Bible is divinely inspired, you have no evidence for it, you just believe it to be true.
  2. Sin is a completely man-made made up concept. There is nothing in the world that tells you are a sinner. Some preacher came along and told you that you were a sinner and then offered you a cure. But let’s be honest there is no person alive who hasn’t done something they regret or was ‘bad’, so any snake oil salesman can play into that and say you are a sinner and then sell you the cure. They really don’t prove sin as a concept really exists or that it is the problem you actually have. They just reinforce your assumptions. They don’t prove those assumptions are true, they just play on them.
  3. God’s answer to sin is to torture his only son and kill him, this is an answer that doesn’t make a bit of rational sense as God could easily just forgive us without all this. Either the God of the Bible is a sadistic fuck or not too smart if this is the best he could come up with to solve the ‘sin problem’. There is the additional problem of how much of a sacrifice and torture is it, if you know with certainty that you are going to be healed from all injuries and rise from the dead in the end?
  4. The Bible presents God’s justice as a little suspect, especially when you consider the doctrine of Hell. I mean you get all eternity roasting in a fire because you did a few bad things. I mean we might understand with people like Stalin and Hitler, but grandma who never hurt a fly but never accepted the gospel of Christ because she didn’t buy it, gets the same punishment as them? Even the Bible’s own standard of justice makes this suspect – ‘eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ I mean making God mad is such a high crime that I must spend eternity in hell for it? How is that the punishment fitting the crime? Yeah, I could go all day. If you don’t consider this a problem, you never have really considered the doctrine of Hell or it’s implications for those you love that have not accepted the gospel.

I spent many years trying to reconcile these things and couldn’t. Now either this speaks to my lack of ability to do so, or they are just not reconcilable because the whole thing is made up by humans for whatever reasons. I am not saying I am infallible but I have asked my questions of some of the smartest people in Christianity I know and you know what their answer is? The same as I can get from any preacher – ‘you just have to take some things on faith.’ Yeah, so you’re saying faith is a cop-out to any question too hard for you to answer? Sorry, that is no longer acceptable to me. If Christianity is genuine and true, it should be able to answer my questions. That is something I have maintained since I was twelve.

Personal Stuff

Yeah, there is personal stuff too. But that isn’t my main reasons – they are listed above. So where I stand each week will be reflected on in Odin’s Eye. It was not however all the personal stuff that cause this ‘crisis’ of faith. Rather the personal stuff was probably caused by my struggles in finding and accepting the truth about myself and where I really was because of these four things. Uncertainty breeds uncertainty and in that uncertainty shit happens.

Faith:

I believe in something out there. I am a deist, not an atheist. I think atheism and deism actually can get along because we’re both saying ‘ we can’t really know’. The difference is, I think it’s just as bold a claim to say ‘there is no God’ as there is to say ‘there is one and we have him (or her) all figured out and here is our religion for you’. Sorry mankind is a little too ignorant to make such universal claims either way.

Religion:

Yeah, it’s all man’s attempt to understand God. But like all things man does, it is prone to mistakes and error. Can you find truth in religion? Yep, but I don’t think any of them are The Truth or give us THE Truth. For that we need to turn to reason as our way of finding the truth.

Theology:

If we are going to understand God, I think revealed religion is more of a problem than a cure. We have to conclude that if we are going to understand the Creator, we are going to have to look at his creation including mankind to figure him out. Not the specifics of what certain men have written that says He, She or They are a certain way. The Creator gave us reason, not religion. Perhaps we should use it.

Spirituality:

I still meditate on these things and think about them. I just haven’t made a lot of ‘progress’ by not writing about them. Time to change that by doing so each week in Odin’s Eye.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Starting with the Nine Noble Virtues

NNV 001

My wife and I have been reading a book together as part of our own efforts to work on our relationship.  The book is Words Can Change Your Brain by Newberg and Andrew.  In it the authors make the observation that one of the questions we should be asking about and that is: “What is my greatest virtue?”  I found it interesting personally as I have been looking at the issues of what makes a virtue important without faith in a religion?  For me the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV) have become my code and part of my philosophy of life. I meditate on them often and so what the book was teaching and what I as doing meshed quickly.  It also changed my thinking regarding goals and how to set them.

I have often set my goals based on what roles I wanted to achieve. I guess now see this a kind of chasing titles. I am not sure this is what I want for my life as often when a title is achieved ‘then what’? It becomes a constant struggle to redefine goals.  Not that I don’t want to achieve tangible results but it seems that virtue would drive a person far more than roles as they have to be worked on every day to either grow them or maintain them.  Once a goal is achieved with virtues as their guide, I can see how one then could set new goals far more quickly because the virtue would provide sight and insight into what is next.  The next goal becomes much more self evident when you use virtue instead of roles as your guide to setting them in my current thinking.

So I have dropped my roles as being my guide to setting my goals or even combining virtues with goals like I did recently. What I want now is nine goals set by the NNV. It’s not that my roles won’t come into the discussion but now each virtue can in a sense touch all of the things I am rather than just one thing.

My foundational virtues of the nine are Honor, Courage and Truth.  They are foundational in my mind because they touch all aspects of life.  They guide me in all decisions.  This includes the goals I set.  I am going to take each virtue every week and reflect on it for that week and comment on progress toward a goal for that virtue which I will set here in this first few posts of A Skald’s Life. Let’s begin.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

I suppose Honor is more popularly defined as that feeling of self-worth.  I find honor to be an internal thing and the hardest virtue of them all.  Mostly I look at it as the ability to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are, but also maintain humility in the fact you can recognize honor in others.  In my life the first part is a struggle.  I have made some very bad decisions this year and I am a man trying to get back on his feet as far as humble pride in himself.

If there is a goal here it is to look at my life more positively.  To see that there is still much I can do that is right and that this can lead me back to a feeling like I have value to myself and that others value me as well.  Honor is the hardest but also the most necessary of the virtues.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

The real trick of this virtue is first knowing what the right thing to do is and then secondly doing it.  I have been accused of being a coward at times but mostly I look at it as having the courage to walk away from a bad situation too.  I do question this at times but in truth an enemy rarely respects your courage even when you show it.  Courage is for conflicts and they are sometimes good things if faced bravely.  That said some conflicts cannot be won and you must have the courage with yourself to face that as well. It takes courage sometimes to realize if a battle cannot be won, then the brave thing to do is not fight it. Live to fight another day when the odds are more in your favor.  Timing.  Knowing when to be courageous is also important.

My goal here is pretty simple:  When I know the right thing to do, I do it.  Despite what I said above, my problem is to over think things instead of acting on my first instincts as to what is right.  Once you know the right thing to do and when to do it, then act.  That’s the goal here for me.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

People have called me a liar too. I would say; however, I have probably been more committed to this virtue than I ever was as a Christian.  The problem with being a minister is you find yourself telling lies very quickly if you want to protect your reputation as well as the reputation of those under your care. Facing the truth is not something church people actually do very well.  Particularly when comparing themselves to the ethical standards of Scriptures.  Now, I don’t really have any other issue other than discovering what is true.  People may not accept this from me, but I have been painfully truthful far more since I gave up my faith than when I was in it. My goal here is to continue to improve and face the truth even about the most difficult things – especially myself.

My goal is here is to be the one who pursues truth and stands with it regardless of where it might take him.  This is my pilgrimage – knowledge, wisdom and truth – finding them and living by them,

Summary:

The real problem with these goals is that they are hard to measure and are not specific.  That is however why they are also foundational as they really reflect attitudes and states of character I want to have at all times.  The other virtues will probably create more specific and measurable goals but these three are about every thought, feeling and decision.

Goal List:

  1. Be positive about my future
  2. Act with courage at the right time
  3. Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times

Until the Business Virtues,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!